Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Learning Curve Continuum ❯ Iced ( Chapter 14 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Disclaimer: Definitely not mine; always returned to Square Enix after they’ve been thoroughly upset.

A/N: Fiddling with the interior architecture of Holzoff’s cabin and giving him an expanded back story to explain his comfortable home and food supply, allegedly built by one man in a land of perpetual snow in the original game.

For all the readers anxiously wondering when Girl!Tifa will return, rest assured that she will.  Eventually.  C’mon – y’all know what’s going to happen in the classic storyline, right?  Might as well spice things up a little!

Warnings: Coarse language, violence.

Bouquets to my wonderful, good-natured betas Kitsune13/Tam Lin and Ranuel.

Learning Curve Continuum
Chapter Fourteen: Iced
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As we followed Holzoff and his sputtering trail of flares, I’ll admit to being equal parts impressed with and suspicious of the level of his preparations; he’d obviously been doing rescues for a while.  His wide-bodied snow machine looked quite a bit like the Buggy, but it had long, wide tracked wheels that were designed to cross all but the broadest crevasses without the need for ice bridges, and the custom-designed rescue pods lining its interior were nothing short of ingenious.

Tifa and Yuffie had been stripped out of their wet parkas and bundled into two of the pods; the integral heating units immediately began circulating warm water heated by the engine through what looked like a hot water bottle sandwich, surrounding them in penetrating warmth.  Luckily Yuffie was out cold, or her motion sickness would’ve added another layer of misery.  

By common consent – and to address our security concerns - Nanaki and Cid rode inside the snow buggy with Holzoff; Vincent, Barret and I followed on the snow machines.  If Holzoff chugged across a crevasse, Vincent looked for the closest ice bridge that we could use, then guided us back to the flares.  The blizzard had intensified to the point that even the Bandersnatches had gone back to their dens; the only risk we faced was the weather.

I have no idea how long it took to reach Holzoff’s cabin; all I know is that I was close to half-frozen by the time we arrived.  The flares ended just at the edge of the pools of light thrown by several powerful flood lights that illuminated a substantial structure, and as Holzoff approached, a hanger-like door slid open in one end of the building.  He drove his machine right inside and then popped out to energetically wave us forward.  I let Barret precede me, still not one hundred percent sure that I trusted the old fart – but even more pissed off that we didn’t really have any options.

The motors had barely died when the door slid closed and interior lights came on – and I saw the ShinRa crest on the rear quarter-panel of Holzoff’s machine.  Elbowing Barret, I indicated the evidence with a jerk of my head; he nodded… but there didn’t seem to be any squads of troopers or worse, Turks, leaping out at us.

“Come along, come along!  The quicker your friends receive treatment, the quicker they’ll recover!”  Holzoff urged.  Vincent was already inside the snow Buggy, extracting Yuffie out of the one pod with Cid’s help; I beckoned Barret forward to collect Tifa, because I wanted to have fast access to my sword if necessary.  Watching through the door as he opened the pod, I changed my mind and scrambled inside.

Shiva, she looked terrible.  Her breathing was so shallow that there was no way her body was getting enough oxygen, which would explain her grayish tint, and despite the warming she’d received on the trip, she was still cool to the touch.

“She’s a long drink o’ water right now, an’ I only got one hand,” Barret gruffly said.  “I’d have to sling ‘er over m’shoulder, an’ that wouldn’t be good.”

“Cover me.”

“Don’ have ta tell me twice, Spiky.”

Lifting Tifa’s limp form into my arms, I hustled after the others with Barret bringing up the rear.  Inside the heavy wooden door – no locks – Nanaki directed me up a flight of stairs to a dormitory.  Cid stood aside to let me pass, then mumbled, “We gotta problem, boss.  You and Vinnie can deal with it.”

“Huh?”

“Put him here,” Holzoff said to me, pulling back the blankets on the bed next to the one already occupied by Yuffie.  “He needs to have his wet clothing removed for the heating system to warm him most effectively.”  Glancing at Vincent, who was hesitating over Yuffie, he ordered, “There is no time for false modesty – their recovery is reliant on speed.”  Shoving a large basket in my direction, he added, “Put their clothing in this.”

Once Holzoff bustled down the stairs, Vincent muttered in dire tones, “We have no choice; Cure does not seem to work on their condition.”

“And we have only one Phoenix Down left.”  Laying Tifa on the bed, I set my jaw and began removing her uniform, starting with her boots.  I kept my back to Vincent, and after a few moments, I heard the sounds of buckles opening.  At least Yuffie’s a tiny little thing despite her complicated outfit; it took some doing to manhandle Tifa out of her harness and belts and sweater.  Her trousers were no problem, but I hesitated over her boxers.  They were soaked through and left nothing to the imagination, so I quickly stripped them off while trying not to look at anything that would embarrass the hell out of Tifa – and probably earn me a right hook to the jaw - when she woke up.

Kindly drag all of your minds out of the gutter, because the first time that I managed to get Tifa naked and in a bed, she’s the wrong gender and unconscious.

Sometimes, it absolutely sucks to be me.

Carefully tucking the oddly-bulky quilt around Tifa, I asked over my shoulder, “Done yet?”

“Yes, and I hope that I will not be required to do something like this again.”  Vincent actually sounded stressed – but I figured that even if he did have to take off her clothes for any reason, Yuffie probably wouldn’t mind that much, judging by the mooning she was doing back at the pub.

Holzoff came back at that moment.  “Good, good.  Now to plug them in.”  Before I could ask any questions, he flipped two switches on a control panel.  The thick quilts covering the girls began glowing and he hummed with satisfaction.  

“What is that?” I demanded.

“Special heating units that will encourage circulation and slowly warm their core temperatures.  I designed them myself to reverse the effects of hypothermia.”

“You’ve done this before,” I dryly commented.

“Twenty years and counting, Herr Strife.  Join us for a meal in the common room; your comrades won’t be waking up for a few hours, at the very least.”  Taking up the basket full of wet clothing, he disappeared back down the stairs.

“I will remain here,” Vincent said, seating himself on the foot of another bed with a clear view of both girls and the stairwell.

Nodding, I headed down; Nanaki was waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs.  “You should see this, Cloud-san,” he murmured.  With a deep sniff, obviously checking on Holzoff’s location within the building, he led me down a short corridor.  Nudging the second door ajar with his nose, he stood aside.  

Checking again over my shoulder, I peered inside a small office.  On the wall above a desk holding a short-wave radio unit with the ShinRa logo on the side was a labelled map of the Great Glacier.  “This could be trouble,” I muttered.

“I do not think so, Cloud-san.  His scent is remarkably clear – content, even.  I have not detected any sort of dark intentions.”  Pointing with his paw, he added, “This leads to the common room.”

I was about to check out the indicated room when a voice behind us said, “Herr Strife?  Out of those wet clothes – they’re not doing you any good, either.”  Reluctantly facing our erstwhile host, I propped my sword against the wall and shrugged out of my clammy parka, feeling strangely exposed without it.  Holzoff quickly assessed me, disappeared into the first door opening off the corridor and came out with some dark garments in his hands.  

I shook my head.  “I have a change of clothing in my knapsack.”

“Which is also guaranteed to be soaking wet from the snow.  Bring them to me, and I’ll see to it that they are dried as well.  Your teammates have already surrendered theirs.”

While Holzoff’s choice of the word ‘surrender’ put me a little on edge, he seemed sincere enough.  I glanced at Nanaki; he inclined his head, and I obeyed.

“Change in here.”  He showed me into the narrow room, revealing shelves well-stocked with trousers and zip-neck sweaters, all made of the same thick, soft material.  I had a feeling that if I looked, all the labels would have the ShinRa logo on them, too.  Quickly stripping out of my gear, I donned the clothing and discovered that they definitely beat damp wool for comfort.  When I emerged, Holzoff took my things and disappeared again.  

“I took the liberty of emptying your knapsack,” Nanaki said.  “Everything of importance is still inside.”

“What about Tifa’s bag?” I asked, thinking of a few items in there that I knew about but nobody else needed to.

“I have not touched it, and I do not believe anyone else has, either.”

“I’ll deal with it.”  I found the bags piled at the foot of the stairs; assuming that Barret and Cid had already dealt with their property, I emptied Tifa’s and Yuffie’s... and was surprised to find that all of the materia in Yuffie’s possession were actually supposed to be there.  Apparently the brat had truly reformed.  My eye was caught by one glowing orb in particular, and I couldn’t stifle a dismayed curse.  I completely forgot that Aerith had a Heal materia; we could’ve tried the Esuna spell to fix up the girls.

Too late now.  We were in the clutches of the most jovial – and possibly sincere – ShinRa employee on the Planet.
   
“Is that all of it?”

“Yeah – I guess.”

Holzoff wagged his finger at me.  “Your scowl is almost as impressive as your sword, Herr Strife, but there is no need for either here.  Your party members are safe and the meal is ready – feel free to help yourself.”

Surprised by his forthright manner, I mumbled, “Um, thanks,” and beat a retreat to the common room, where I found Nanaki sniffing both the teapot and the food before giving his approval.

As Barret and Cid dug in with enthusiasm, Nanaki noticed my querying look.  “If the food has been drugged, it is with one that completely escapes my ability to detect it.”

“So you think Holzoff’s all right?”

“I am prepared to vouch for his scent, anyways.”

Cid looked up from his bowl and tossed me a crusty bun.  “I’ve said it before – you worry too much, boss.  ‘Sides, with that blizzard howlin’ out there, ain’t nobody gonna show up to try an’ arrest us.”

“Fine.  Pass the ladle.”

The soup went down real well, and my suspicions were mostly laid to rest when Holzoff joined us and served himself a bowlful out of the same pot.  He also had a cup of tea from the same kettle, so Nanaki’s confidence in him appeared well-founded.  The old man then earned my undying gratitude by politely directing Cid to the hanger if he wanted to smoke.

“How long ya bin here?” Barret rumbled, sitting back with a satisfied expression when Cid had grumbled off with fairly good grace.

“Twenty years, Herr Wallace,” Holzoff answered, pouring himself another cup of tea.  “Would you like to hear my story?”

Nanaki and I exchanged glances.  “Definitely.”

“Thirty years ago, my best friend Yamski and I attempted to climb Gaea’s Cliff.  They said it couldn’t be done, that the monsters rumoured to inhabit the area would finish us off before we could even reach the base of the Cliff, but all the naysayers only encouraged us to train harder.  After months of preparation, we set out, full of confidence and youthful spirits.

“How’d ya cross the Glacier?”

“That was the easy part,” he chuckled, settling more comfortably into his chair.  “ShinRa flew regular patrols over the Glacier and I befriended the aircrew when they stayed over in Icicle Inn – easy enough to do that when you own a well-stocked bar.  I called in a few favours, and they dropped us off at the base of the Cliff.  Oh, we thought we were too clever by half.”

“Things didn’t go as planned?” I commented, wondering why his expression became solemn.

“We forgot one tiny thing in our calculations,” he quietly answered.  “The bitterly cold winds that swirl around the Cliff rapidly took their toll.  Yamski and I had roped ourselves together for safety on the ascent; at some point during our ordeal, he cut his own rope and I didn’t even notice because of my own battle with hypothermia.  To this day, his body remains missing.”

“So ya lost yer best friend.  Sorry ta hear it.”  Barret moved uncomfortably, and I knew he was thinking of the loss – twice over – of his best friend, Dyne.

“Thank you, Herr Wallace,” Holzoff said, with great dignity.  “Not only that, but I also lost my honour.  Even as a ShinRa patrol plucked me, frost-bitten and raving, from the side of the Cliff, I swore I would one day return and avenge both Yamski’s death and my defeat by conquering the Cliff.”

“How long did it take ya?”  I let Barret lead the questions, because I was working on another bowl of soup.

“Ten years.  There were detours, of course.  I married, and with my wife expanded the bar into a full-fledged inn.  Running it occupied much of my time.”

“The Gasthaus Holzoff,” I said, suddenly putting two and two together.  “Nice place.”

“Ah, you’ve seen my wife then?  Is she well?”

“Seemed all right.  Misses you, though,” I said, remembering her tears.

He pulled on the ends of his moustache.  “A fine, fine woman... but she was never happy knowing that my heart belonged to the Cliff.”

Barret arched his eyebrow.  “Can’t see any woman o’ spirit playin’ second fiddle to a mountainside.”

“Not just any mountainside – according to legend, this is the place where, long ago, an extraterrestrial object fell to the earth.  Gaea’s Cliff is part of a massive impact crater.”

“Jenova,” I said.  “ShinRa called the object ‘Jenova’.”

Holzoff tilted his head like an inquisitive spaniel.  “Interesting.  I’ve never heard that.”

“ShinRa has plenty of secrets,” I commented darkly.  “So, how did you end up back here?”

Giving me a searching look, Holzoff said, “ShinRa made me an offer I didn’t want to refuse.  While running the guesthouse, ShinRa approached me to keep an eye on things in Icicle Inn for them.  You know – who came to town, who left, who stayed, for how long – that sort of thing.”

Sweet Shiva, he was a community informer.  Holzoff was one of those busybody types; every town has at least one.  ShinRa co-opted decent people like him into their web of betrayal and had him collect information on his neighbours, probably never realizing to what use his scribbled notes and innocent observations would be put.  I wondered how many of the townspeople of Icicle Inn had mysteriously disappeared over the years due to Holzoff’s unwitting assistance.

Oblivious to my appalled reaction, Holzoff continued, “When Professor Gast Faremis came to town, he was my special charge.  I expect that you’ve heard of him?  He was a famous renegade scientist.”

“That what ShinRa tol’ ya?” Barret rumbled in a dangerous tone.

“Yes, of course,” Holzoff answered, plainly confused by the charged atmosphere; behind his back, I signalled to Barret to stand down.  The big man glared, but obeyed as Holzoff continued, “It’s not every day you meet a beautiful woman like Ifalna – she was truly someone special.  Professor Faremis was plainly smitten; I hoped that with her influence, he would settle down and perhaps return to working on ShinRa projects that would be of benefit to the Planet.”

Holzoff really needed to quit singing ShinRa’s praises, because I could see the red coming up in Barret’s eyes.  Attempting an intervention, I said, “Even you worked for ShinRa at one time, Barret,” and the big man mercifully subsided, but Shiva – if looks could kill, I would’ve been a pile of charred tissue.

Cid stomped in at that moment and unknowingly saved the situation.  “What the fuck makes a man take a fucking job in a godforsaken place like this?” he demanded, warming himself in front of the fire.  “Fucking cold enough to fucking freeze the fucking balls off a fucking mythril monkey!”

Holzoff stood up and graciously poured Cid’s tea; the next part of the story was obviously his favourite.  “It was the opportunity of a lifetime, Herr Highwind!  More climbers were challenging the Cliff in bigger parties, and after a particularly bad year with almost a dozen deaths, ShinRa constructed this rescue station and appointed me to man it.”  Throwing another log into the fireplace and a smaller one into the stove, he busied himself for a few moments stirring pots and bringing another kettle of water to a boil.  In the ensuing silence, we heard a chime from the direction of the radio room.  “Ah, excuse me – duty calls.”

He bustled off down the corridor, and after a couple of seconds, I slipped off my boots and followed in sock feet.  Nanaki came with me, soundless on his paws, and we carefully eased up to the door just in time to hear him say, “Gaea Station - Holzoff.”

Even over the crackle of static, the smooth tones of the speaker were instantly recognizable; Nanaki stepped on my foot as Reeve Tuesti asked, “Did you find them?”

“Yes, and in the nick of time, too.  But - your message said it was a party of eight; there are only seven.”

I heard the concern in Reeve’s voice as he said, “They must have met with some misadventure.”  Since Cait Sith ceased to exist at the Temple of the Ancients after Tifa changed genders, but before Aerith died, it stood to reason that Reeve had no clue as to what had happened to our mage.    

Holzoff went back to business.  “Are you sending the chopper to pick them up tomorrow?”

“No.  It was required elsewhere.”

“I cannot believe that these people are planning to climb the Cliff!  In all my years, I have never seen a party so completely unprepared!”

“I have every confidence that your expertise will give them the best possible chance of success.”

There was a heavy sigh.  “I will do my best, but honestly!  Amateurs should be prevented from these attempts – especially if the chopper isn’t available for rescue operations.”

“Do you require any supplies?”

“More fuel for the generator, milk, cheese and eggs would be appreciated.”

“Noted.”

“Oh, can you add another one of those gentlemen in black to my daily report? I spotted him on the Cliff just before the blizzard struck.”

There was a long moment of static-filled silence.  “I will mention it.  Thank you, Holzoff.”

“My pleasure, sir.  Gaea Station out.”

Nanaki and I scuttled back down the corridor and slid across the common room’s wood floor to sit innocently in front of the fire before Holzoff returned.  “My apologies for the interruption.  More tea?”

“I’m curious about the best way to climb the Cliff – you mentioned the extreme weather hazards in terms of wind and cold.  Is there anything else?” I asked.

“When I was a boy, there were rumours of monsters inhabiting the Cliff.  There are caves at higher elevations which may harbour creatures, but I am a climber, not a fighter.”  He cast a glance at my sword.  “I avoided exploring the caves in favour of marking an exterior route.”  

“What’s the highest point that you reached?”

“Approximately two-thirds of the way up,” he said proudly.  “Most climbers only make it half-way before requiring retrieval.”  Turning his mug in his hands, Holzoff continued, “I am concerned that your preparations are inadequate to the demands of the climb.”  

While I admired his diplomatic phrasing, Barret rumbled, “Can’t do nothin’ ‘bout it.  We gotta job ta do, an’ it happens t’be on the other side o’ the Cliff.”

“I had hoped that the helicopter would be available to ferry you up to the top, but unfortunately, it is required elsewhere.”

“We’re used to doing things the hard way,” I said amiably.  Nanaki stretched out on his side and rested his head on my lap, the very picture of domesticity; I scratched between his ears, avoiding with some difficulty all the hardware clipped into his mane.

“This is more like the suicidal way,” Holzoff persisted.  “I am concerned for your survival.”

“Jus’ tell us how to reach the top,” Barret said.  “We’ll figger it out from there.”

“What’s on the other side, anyways?” Cid wanted to know.

Holzoff adopted a pensive expression.  “I have only glimpsed it once, from a helicopter, but it appeared to be a huge maze-like rock formation – and it glowed with a most unearthly light.”

“You feel that Holzoff is trustworthy?”

“Yes, Vincent-san.  He is entirely unaware of ShinRa’s evil and believes them to be his honest benefactors.”

“Hard to believe that such innocence regarding ShinRa still exists,” the gunslinger commented.

“Mebbe he jus’ wants t’ believe it,” Barret grumbled, his ego obviously still stinging from my rebuke.

“Whatever.  He saved our butts out there,” I said, inspecting Tifa’s face.  Her skin colour was much better, and when I cupped my hand around the nape of her neck, she was warm to the touch, but there was a worrying rasp at the end of each breath.  “We also now know that Reeve Tuesti is on our side – sort of.”

“Ya didn’t hear him come straight out and say so, though,” Cid argued.

“He has to be careful.  Can you imagine what would happen to him if Scarlet and Heidegger found out he’d switched teams?”

“Yeah, well – who was pilotin’ the fucking chopper, then?”

Barret snickered.  “Mebbe it was another toy cat!”

“Shiva save us from that,” I muttered.

We were having a team meeting in the dormitory while sleet hammered against the windows; Holzoff had sent us upstairs with jugs of a straw-coloured concoction that he insisted would be necessary to rehydrate Tifa and Yuffie when they woke up.  It appeared to be a type of salty honey tea; Nanaki had sniffed it thoroughly and declared it both harmless and probably beneficial.  He was now lying across the top of the stairs, making sure our host wasn’t eavesdropping.  We’d already swept the room for bugs and found none.

“D’ya think that chopper was actually there t’ help us?”

“If Reeve was behind its deployment, probably.  However, since we’d just been jumped by Elena, I think we can be forgiven for assuming otherwise,” I said.

“So we coulda been into it with Sephiroth already,” Barret mused.

“Not with Tifa and Yuffie out of commission like this.”  I glanced down as Tifa twitched in her sleep; the diffuse light of the oil lamps softened her features until she looked almost feminine.  Almost, but not quite.

Nanaki let out a low woof and stood up; we all instantly fell silent as Holzoff came up the stairs with a basket full of clothing.  “You’re welcome to wear the loaners until you’re ready to leave,” he said, then briskly continued, “This storm may last for a day or two.”

I frowned.  “Somebody up in Icicle Inn said the blizzards only last overnight.”

“They usually do... considering Icicle Inn’s distance from the Cliff.  Here, they can last much longer and are often more severe.”

Barret grinned crookedly.  “Hope you don’ mind havin’ us underfoot, if thas how it’s gonna be.”

Holzoff chuckled.  “I’ll put you to work so you won’t get bored!”  He checked on the girls and seemed satisfied with their rate of recovery.  “They should wake up in another hour or two.  Make sure they drink the tea.”  Turning to go, he added, “There are extra sets of loaners in the basket for your comrades.  Good night.”

We chorused our wishes for sweet dreams like good boys, and then sorted ourselves out for sleeping and sentry duty.  Nanaki climbed up onto Yuffie’s bed and snuggled against her uncharacteristically quiet form.  “This way, she will not be disoriented when she awakens,” he explained.  “She is used to sleeping beside me.”  

Barret commandeered the bed closest to the stairs and gruffly announced that he was taking first watch, even though he didn’t see much point in it since we outnumbered Holzoff and there was a wicked-ass storm raging outside that did a fine job of preventing ShinRa interference.  Cid sprawled on the bed beside Vincent’s perch; the pilot had earlier relieved the gunslinger of his solitary watch and sent him down for something to eat.  

That left me; there was one bed still available, but I chose to bunk in with Tifa for much the same reason as Nanaki had snuggled up to Yuffie.   Also, if she did wake up in the middle of the night and I had to get a couple of glasses of that tea into her, doing so from the convenience of the same mattress was a big draw.  Folding a blanket in half lengthwise, I laid it alongside her glowing cocoon and squeezed onto the bed beside her.  When we were all settled, Vincent ghosted around blowing out the lamps, except for the one on the table between Tifa’s and Yuffie’s beds; he turned that one down.  I don’t know about the others, but I fell asleep pretty damn fast despite the wind moaning around the eaves and my unquiet thoughts.  
I woke up in the dead of night, my heart pounding; it took several seconds to remember where I was and what I was doing here.  In my dream, I was in the reactor, and had just driven my sword through Sephiroth’s back, cracking the thick glass of the specimen tube.  His silver head turned, fixing me with that ice-green eye, bright with insanity, demanding to know who dared... then I was gathering Tifa in my arms.  Tifa, who lay contorted and still on the reactor floor at the base of the stairs, her hair covering her sweet face until I brushed it aside.  She smiled, her voice soft... another voice broke in – who was that? - telling me to finish Sephiroth, that I was the only one who could... and then pain-pain-pain as razor-sharp steel rammed through my chest... Sephiroth glaring... what are you?

Not your damn puppet, you rat bastard.

It took me a few moments to realize that I was thoroughly pinned, probably because it was Tifa doing the pinning.  Just like the previous times when we’d shared a bed, she’d found her way onto my shoulder.  The shadows emphasized the dark fans of her lashes against her pale cheeks and drew attention to the moist pout of her lips.  However, the arm draped across my chest had more impressive musculature than I did, and the lean body pressing up against mine completely lacked any curves that I might be interested in.

Sighing a little, I carefully eased Tifa off my shoulder.  Shifting onto my side, I examined her face in the dim light and was more than a little unnerved when I couldn’t ‘see’ much of my Tifa in her angular features.  A disturbing thought occurred to me at that point.  What if the longer she remained male, the more likely it was that she would become more masculine?  I hadn’t been a girl long enough to develop an addiction to lipstick, but Tifa had been male for nearly a week now – long enough for the testosterone to start working on her.  Leaning in, I sniffed the crook of her neck and instantly recoiled.

She smelled like a guy.

It wasn’t a bad smell, or anything, but it didn’t appeal to me... which was a helluva problem when I had come to rely on Tifa’s touch and her scent – among other things – to help me combat Sephiroth’s influence.  There was gonna be a whole lotta Elixers and Restore materia in my immediate future if Tifa had to resort to breaking my face every time I went ‘green’.  Thinking back to the last time she’d kissed me out of it, at the Forgotten City, I wasn’t exactly sure how much the contact had stabilized me, or if I broke his hold on my own.

Completely perturbed by this revelation, I took myself and my blanket and decamped to the spare bed.  It was a lot colder, sleeping on my own, and it seemed to take a long while for the bedding to warm up and I fell back asleep.

This time, I dreamed of Tifa wearing that sexy silk nightgown and my libido really went to town visualizing how I would slip her out of it in stages, slowly working it upwards to expose her long, slim legs.  Kissing my way up towards the delicate skin of her inner thighs, she blushed and tried to keep my questing mouth away from her most sensitive flesh, but I caught her hands and held them while I moved the concealing fabric aside....

Even in the midst of a happily vivid dream, it didn’t escape me that my sub-conscious definitely considered Tifa to be a woman.  Then my mind wandered into wondering how things were going to play out if she continued to think like a female but began to react like a male... and the erotic imagery fizzled, to be replaced by the harsh sounds of someone hacking up a lung.  

Tifa was doubled over, wracked by painful coughing that sounded like her throat was being stripped.  Vincent thumped on her back – I randomly noted that he wasn’t using his gauntleted hand – in an attempt to clear her airway.  Just as I sat up for a closer look, something came loose with a particularly sharp sound.  As Tifa desperately sucked in air before toppling over on her side, Nanaki sprang off of Yuffie’s bed.

“Cloud-san!  Do you have a Restore materia?”

“Yeah,” I said, immediately getting up and rummaging for my gauntlet.  Vincent moved back, allowing me to take over the physical comforting while Tifa continued wheezing like a winded Chocobo.  I equipped the materia and she rolled partially onto her back, tilting up her chin.  While humbled by her continued trust in me, her harsh breathing was worrisome; I lightly stroked the healing energy down her throat and over her chest.  The whistling sounds eased somewhat, so I repeated the treatment... then noticed the trickle of blood at the corner of her mouth.  “What’s this about?” I demanded, wiping away the bright fluid.

Nanaki anxiously nosed at her clenched fist, going so far as to pin her wrist to the mattress with his paw when she resisted.  “Show us, T-san,” he growled, and I suspect she was so startled by the commanding tone that she obeyed.  Her palm was decorated with red clots, but that wasn’t the most worrying thing; instead, we focussed on the small, prickly lump that must’ve hurt like hell on the way up her throat.  A pale green coating made the object resemble a weird pearl; Nanaki cautiously sniffed at it, laid his ears back and declared, “This has been inside your lung for some time, judging by the smell.”  

Nicking the lump out of her hand, I experimentally squeezed it between my thumb and forefinger.  Resisting for only a moment before crumbling, it was a mix of greyish-white powder and shiny, minute flecks covered in mucous... and the stink was enough to make me cover my nose.  “What is this?”

Barret sat up in bed.  “Is ‘e coughing up dirt balls, Spiky?”

“Guess you could call them that.  Come look.”

“Dun hafta.  Dirty white clumps with shiny bits in ‘em – an’ they smell like shit?”

“Yep.”

“Spat up a coupla those m’self at the Ghost Inn,” he rumbled, speculatively eyeing Tifa.  “Jus’ gotta wait until they work their way out – can’ do nothin’.”

“What are they?”

He grimaced.  “Souvenir from Sector Seven, mebbe?”

On cue, Tifa coughed up another, smaller lump before lying very still, trying to catch her breath.  I treated her to another round of Cure while considering Barret’s suspicion.  We had all been coated in powdered concrete, glass and metal that day; undoubtedly some made its way into our lungs.  Hopefully not too much.  Vincent contributed several tissues and I wiped off both Tifa’s and my hands, but I’d have to hit the bathroom to wash away the stench.

Nanaki poked through the basket and came back with a set of clothing.  Tifa struggled upright and managed to don the pullover, but I stopped her from sliding back under the covers.  “You gotta drink some of this.”  Pouring her a glass of Holzoff’s tea, I handed it over, but ended up wrapping my hand around hers because it was trembling so badly.  She sniffed the concoction and made a face, but gamely sucked it back.

“Can I lay down now?” she plaintively rasped.

“Nope.  Not until you’ve drunk some more.  You’ve been out cold for over twelve hours; you need to replenish your fluids.”

Grimacing, she obeyed, and I let her collapse back onto the mattress after two more glassfuls.  “Is Yuffie all right?”

The rawness in her voice made me flinch. “Yeah.  She’s sleeping.”

“Where are we?”

“At the base of Gaea’s Cliff, staying with a guy named Holzoff.”

“Holzoff?”

“Turns out that old gal in Icicle Inn is his missus.”

“Oh.”  Tifa shifted uncomfortably, then gave me a pleading look.  “Lay down with me?”

“Tried that already – you hogged too much of the bed.”  Tucking her in, I tried to smile convincingly while avoiding meeting her bereft gaze.  “Go back to sleep.  If you have to piss, wake me up and I’ll take you to the toilet.  Put on some trousers first, though.”

Nanaki watched our exchange with a quizzical expression.  While I headed for the stairs, he climbed onto the mattress and snuggled up to Tifa.  “I will keep you company until you fall asleep,” he murmured.  I couldn’t hear her muffled reply, but it sounded like there may have been tears.  Swearing at myself, I continued on my way to the bathroom.  

There were night-lamps spaced along the hall so I didn’t break my neck, and a shielded candle on the bathroom counter allowed me to see the bright green rimming my irises.  “Screw you, Sephiroth,” I muttered, thoroughly washing my hands.  “I’ll bet you think this is effin’ hilarious.”  Before anyone caught me talking to myself, I dried my hands and made my way back along the corridor to the stairs.

It definitely sucked to be me.  I knew Tifa was a girl – and my sub-conscious was more than happy to torture me with imagery relating to that knowledge – but she looked, sounded and even smelled like a guy... and I’m not into guys.

What was I supposed to do?  She was still my best friend, but I didn’t feel comfortable in close proximity to her any more.  But... if I pushed her away too much now, then what would happen to us when she was finally a girl again?  I’d finally won her trust, and now stood to lose everything.  If we were stuck here for a couple of days, I figured I’d try talking to her; otherwise, I would have to hope that her famously forgiving nature would cut me some slack until all this shit was over.

When I reached the top of the stairs, I noted that Nanaki was back on Yuffie’s bed.  Pausing, I studied Tifa’s sleeping face; a lump rose in my throat, because it honestly felt like I was losing something... besides my mind, that is.  Lightly touching her hair, I whispered, “I’m sorry,” before rolling into my cold bed.

I should’ve known I wouldn’t get away with it.  Almost-silent footfalls padded across the room, and when I opened my eyes, I was looking straight into Nanaki’s single golden one.  “What is going on, Cloud-san?” he quietly demanded.  “It is not like you to abandon Tifa-san like this.”

Wincing over his word choice – ‘abandon’ was pretty harsh – I muttered, “It’s complicated.”

Settling his massive head on the edge of the mattress, he murmured, “I am listening.”

Sighing, I tried to organize my thoughts and then decided to be blunt.  “She doesn’t smell like a girl.”

“Her scent has shifted,” he agreed.  “Do you find it unpleasant?”

“No.  It’s just... not her.”

“Ah.  Do you still consider yourself her protector?”

“Yes... although she really doesn’t need me.”

Nanaki raised his eyebrow at that.  “She needs you right now,” he gently pointed out.

“I know... but guys don’t cuddle and snuggle to make each other feel better.  We kill stuff, or blow shit up.”

“Because that is the only way males physically show regard, or even affection, for each other?”

I pinched the bridge of my nose.  “No, but....”

“Do you consider yourself Tifa-san’s friend?”

“Of course!”

“Male friends are allowed to touch each other, Cloud-san.”

“Yeah, but....”

“Cloud-san, none of us will negatively judge either of you for comforting each other,” he murmured.  “Tifa-san is only masculine on the outside.”  

“Yeah, well, it’s her exterior that’s causing trouble for me,” I admitted.

He tilted his head.  “Her appearance bothers you that much?”

“It’s her height, the change in her voice... everything.”  Covering my eyes with one hand, I gave up.  “I just can’t.  I’ve tried, but it weirds me out too much.”

After a long moment of silence, Nanaki nudged my elbow with his nose.  “I think I understand, Cloud-san.”

“I don’t want to hurt her... I really don’t, but I can’t see a way around it,” I mumbled.  Nanaki bumped me again before returning to Yuffie’s side, leaving me to feel like an absolute bastard.  

The blizzard was still howling in the grey light of early morning when Yuffie finally woke up, crying for her dad.  Nanaki instantly began talking to her, his voice more of a rumble than words.  Tifa sat up, her short hair even more wildly tousled than usual.  After a quick assessment of the situation, she fumbled her way into the pair of trousers and lurched the two steps across the aisle to Yuffie’s bed.  Folding the sniffling teen into her arms, she tucked Yuffie under her chin and held her while Nanaki retrieved the second set of garments.  Tifa chivvied Yuffie into them and then Vincent took over.  He got a couple of glasses of tea into the teen, and then Tifa drank another glass to encourage Yuffie to have a third.  As I watched our frail-looking and forlorn ninja, it forcefully struck me that Yuffie really was just a child – fighting shoulder to shoulder with adults who should have sent her home to her father instead of dragging her along on this insane quest.

“The kid’s lookin’ a little lost,” Cid commented, inadvertently voicing my thought as he put on his boots.

Barret rolled out of bed and joined the group, fussing over both Tifa and Yuffie before getting down to business.  “Holzoff ain’t asked no questions, but he’s bound ta once he’s had a good look at alla us.  We need a cover story.”

Tifa ran her hand through her hair in an effort to tame the wayward strands; it didn’t help.  “How about expanding the story Cloud told Holzoff’s wife?”

“Whazzat?” the big man asked.

She thought for a long minute, then said, “We’re a special task force hunting for the killer of Aerith Faremis, murdered a few days ago at the Forgotten City.  The suspect is known to be hiding in the vicinity of Gaea’s Cliff.”  Her tenor voice sounded scratchy and sore, and I wondered if she might want another shot of Cure.

“He’s a ShinRa informer – tol’ ‘em ‘bout Ifalna, an’ baby Aerith,” Barret said heavily.

“Maliciously?” Tifa demanded while Yuffie just looked sick.

“Naw.  He’d prob’ly be horrified if he knew what had happened to ‘em.”  Barret scratched his head, clearly uncomfortable.  “He’s a good-hearted fella.”

“We don’t know what Reeve-san told him about us, though,” Nanaki murmured.

“We’ll just have to watch what we say,” Tifa said, yawning.  Levering herself upright, she stretched before asking, “Which way to the toilet?”

Cid tromped over.  “I’ll take ya,” he grunted.  “Goin’ out fer a smoke, anyways.”

As the pair thumped down the stairs, it dawned on me that nobody had asked my opinion of the plan – in fact, no one had apparently even checked to see if I was awake.  Even worse, Tifa hadn’t once looked my way.  Swallowing my discontent, I climbed out of bed and approached the others.  “How ya doin’, brat?” I asked, aware of a coolness in the room that had nothing to do with the icy weather outside.

“Much better,” Yuffie replied, with a tremulous smile.  “That was quite the ride, huh?”

“The landing kinda sucked,” I replied, cracking a grin.  Yuffie beckoned me closer, and when I obeyed, she threw her arms around my shoulders and hugged tightly – and just like that, the tension in the room eased.  I slung one arm around her and hugged back as she whispered, “Thank you for sticking with me.”

“Couldn’t let the White Rose of Wutai wilt.”  She wrinkled her nose, but let me have the last word.  Scruffing her bangs, I announced, “I’m going to see how Holzoff reacts to the cover story.”  Only Barret appeared slightly abashed that I’d noticed the way I’d been ignored.  

I had just gained the bottom stair when a highly appetizing aroma made my mouth water, and I followed it towards the common room.  Making a quick pit-stop in the toilet, I then stood just inside the corridor and watched Tifa working her magic on both a sizzling griddle and Holzoff.  I caught the last bit of Tifa’s terse explanation as to how we knew Aerith – Holzoff seemed mightily pleased that Professor Faremis had ‘returned’ to the ShinRa fold so that two nice young SOLDIERs like us had the chance to meet Aerith - and then he complimented her skill in the kitchen.

“Did you learn how to cook with ShinRa, Herr Laurence?”

“No, sir,” Tifa replied, deftly mixing batter in a large crockery bowl.  “My mother died when I was young, and the ladies of my village gave me cooking lessons so my father and I wouldn’t starve.”

“I am sorry for your loss, mein Junge.”

“She’s been gone a long time, Mr. Holzoff, but I thank you for your kindness.”  Flashing him a smile, she wielded a ladle with practiced ease until a dozen pancakes were bubbling on the griddle next to sausages, eggs and diced potatoes.  Since she didn’t have much lead time, Holzoff must’ve had breakfast already started and she sweet-talked him into adding pancakes to the menu.  It occurred to me that the cakes were probably for Yuffie’s benefit since they were definitely comfort food.

“Smells terrific, Laurence!” I said, entering the room.

“Good morning, Commander,” she answered calmly, poking one of the cakes without looking up.  “Mr. Holzoff spotted a man matching the suspect’s description scaling the Cliff yesterday.  We have an excellent chance of capturing him – assuming he survives this blizzard.”

“I am so very sorry to hear of Miss Aerith’s tragic death,” Holzoff sighed, obviously genuinely moved.  “Of course, I last saw her as a young infant, but Herr Laurence has told me of her beauty and accomplishments.  A terrible, terrible turn of events.”  Holding out a mug, he offered, “Coffee?”

“Absolutely.  Thanks.”  Gratefully inhaling the aroma of decently-brewed caffeine, I engaged Holzoff in light conversation while Tifa tended the griddle.  She glanced at me from time to time, but saved her smiles for our host.  But then... it would be kinda weird for an officer and a subordinate to be behaving like best friends instead of professionals while we were on duty.  At least, that’s what I told myself.  It wasn’t long before the rest of the team tumbled down the stairs, lured by the delicious smells; Holzoff handed out plates and very shortly everyone was contentedly munching.  I made sure that Tifa kept a decent portion for herself before accepting mine – sometimes I think she forgets that a larger body requires more fuel.  She still gave Nanaki one of her sausages, despite my scowl.

It was around that point when I realized that Nanaki was remaining silent in front of Holzoff, which I thought was kinda odd, considering he believed the old man was trustworthy.  Then again, why give Holzoff any tidbits of info that he might pass on to ShinRa – especially when it might not be Reeve in receipt of them.

The morning passed pleasantly enough; I spent a couple of hours out in the hanger, chopping and stacking wood while Cid supervised from his perch on a barrel that was clearly marked ‘fuel’.  The fact he continued chain-smoking while sitting on what could be a gasoline bomb made me rather twitchy, but the hanger was well-ventilated – and unheated.  When we came in, thoroughly chilled, the unmistakeable smell of baking had both of us scrambling out of our boots and coats.  Tifa had whipped up a batch of spice-infused bars that went down well with cups of tea; for once Cid didn’t complain that the beverage wasn’t strong enough.

“Ach, Herr Laurence – I shall be sorry to see you go!” Holzoff grinned.  “I have not eaten this well in a very long time!”

After we ate, Barret and Vincent played chess while keeping an eye on Yuffie, who was muffled in a blanket and dozing on the striped sofa.  Nanaki had curled up in front of the fire with Cid, who was asleep more than he was awake, judging by the fact that the pages of the open book on his lap hadn’t turned in at least an hour.  I honed my sword, watching Holzoff admiring Tifa’s way with a batch of bread dough.

Vincent and Nanaki had disappeared for a while after lunch; upon their return, Vincent displayed their trophies - an Alexander and an Added Cut materia, plus a Safety Bit and four Phoenix Downs.  Holzoff was most impressed that they had been able to find their way in the storm.  Vincent vaguely replied that Nanaki’s nose was superior, but I had a feeling that the gunslinger’s resident entities were also no slouches in the ‘superior senses’ department.

In the late afternoon, Cid and I accompanied Holzoff outside as he took weather readings.  After checking his various measuring devices, he declared that the storm would subside within the next twelve to fourteen hours, and we could plan our ascent for the next morning.  Back inside, he lectured all of us on how to maintain our inernal temperatures during the climb while Tifa concocted soup for our dinner.  The appetizing smell of cooking onions was highly distracting, along with the fresh bread cooling on the sideboard, but Holzoff imparted good advice so most of us listened carefully.

The soup was delicious and reminded me of one my mother used to make in Nibelheim’s cooler months.  The main ingredients were onions and potatoes – there was a sizeable bin of the tubers in the corner of the common room – and it featured slices of spicy sausage floating on top.  Thick slabs of bread and chunks of sharp cheese rounded out the main course, and I reflected just how well Tifa looked after all of us... and how this could be our last decent meal for some time to come.

The radio chime sounded just as we were settling in with tea and the remaining spice bars; Nanaki and I again eavesdropped.  It was Reeve, who tolerantly listened while Holzoff raved about ‘Laurence’s cooking skills; I wondered if Cait Sith had told him Tifa’s cover name.  When Holzoff said that the weather would most likely clear before morning and we could be on our way, Reeve sounded relieved; the risks he was taking on our behalf were sobering.

If my brief conversation with Cait Sith before the Temple of the Ancients had been the catalyst in Reeve actively subverting ShinRa’s goals, we stood to gain quite a bit from his position within ShinRa.  I was suddenly quite sure that Marlene wasn’t in any danger at all – in fact, I’d bet a substantial amount of gil that Reeve was making sure she stayed well out of ShinRa’s clutches.

Just before lights-out, Holzoff broke out the pear schnapps and poured a round for everyone, then solemnly toasted the success of our mission.  Barret thanked him for his hospitality on behalf of all of us, and we trooped off to the dormitory with the alcohol making us feel all warm and fuzzy... which lasted about five minutes in my case, until I watched Tifa and Yuffie curling up together with Nanaki draped across the foot of their bed.  Yuffie burrowed into Tifa’s chest like a little kid looking for reassurance while Tifa stroked her hair and murmured soothingly.  Meanwhile, I was doing a slow simmer on the other side of the room because someone else was the focus of Tifa’s attention.  Immature much, Strife?  Growling at myself, I rolled over and did my best to fall asleep.  

Considering what happened next, my inability to accept Tifa’s exterior gender turned out to be the least of my problems.

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