Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Lightning. ❯ Chapter, the Fourteenth: In Which Zell Washes "Delicates". ( Chapter 14 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Kitty: Well! Zell is smart in this chapter! Shock! -snickers- You'll have to forgive my insanity. I blame it on sunstroke and nekkid footballers. Man, he had a really white arse... Too bad it wasn't David, I bet he doesn't have a white arse... Duh, since he's black... -smacks self- What was I talking about? Oh, yeah. The fic. Yay for Seifer and his patheticness!

Eoko: So that made absolutely no sense... It's time for Zell's class to start and torture and fun to ensue!

Kitty: It did make sense! I went to see a football game that was put on by Richmond and Essendon because of the six teenagers killed in the hit and run a couple of weeks ago! Why couldn't anyone work that out...?

Eoko: Because you started babbling about nekkid footballers. -_- Let's just carry onto the fic, shall we?

Kitty: Are there nekkid footballers in the fic? Nope! But that's okay. There is nekkidness somewhere I'm sure. -grins- Okay! On to the fic!

Chapter, the Fourteenth: In Which Zell Washes "Delicates".

Zell woke to find himself in bed, in his PJ pants and half sprawled over Seifer. He yawned and placed his hand on the mattress, lifting himself up and off the taller blonde.

Seifer’s face screwed up as if he were disappointed and reached out to grab Zell and pull him back, eyes still shut.

The tattooed boy snorted and poked at Seifer until he woke up. “Hey, leggo of me.”

Jade eyes slowly blinked open at him, seeming to wonder why Zell was on top of him, but quickly cleared of their confusion, and took the opportunity to invoke his special care for the day. “I’m sick, I need a hot water bottle.” He snuggled Zell who squirmed.

“Seifer, I’m not a water bottle, I’m a human being.”

“Mmm,” he rested his head against Zell’s neck. “Warm, soft, works for me.”

Zell sighed and quit his struggling, even if he could easily break free of the grasp. “I take it you’ll eventually let go so I can go bring you breakfast in bed, right?”

“In the frilly apron,” Seifer added smirking.

“You’re a twisted kink, Seifer.”

“It’s not like I’m going to bend you over the kitchen counter and have my wicked way with you.” He chuckled and soon Zell did too.

Zell pressed his palm to Seifer’s bare chest. “Remember, you only have me until 3:30, then I’m off, so you better use your time wisely.”

Seifer smirked and rolled onto his side, pulling Zell close. “I’m sleepy, and you’re warm. This is time used wisely.”

The shorter blonde chuckled and patted Seifer’s back. “Whatever you say, you big baby.”

“Hey, Seif? When you let me up, what do you want for breakfast?”

Seifer ‘hmmm’ed against Zell’s neck, contemplating what the best breakfast would be. Something big, and hard to balance on a tray, so Zell would have a time bringing it back. Oh, yes, that would be good.

Zell chuckled and tried to push Seifer away gently. “That tickles, Seif, now tell me what you want.”

“Big stack of pancakes, with banana slices, and a little dish of syrup because I don’t trust you to pour the right amount on, and an apple and a tall glass of milk, no orange juice- actually… You better get one of each, cause I just can’t decide.”

Zell cocked a brow at the still snuggling blond before worming his way out of the arms around him. “Well, I better go get that before they run out, don’t you think?”

Seifer pouted, but Zell was already free and he might as well hurry back with breakfast. “Yea, shoo, and hurry back, I’m hungry.”

Zell rolled his eyes and went on a search for some clothes before departing for the caf.

- - -

When Zell got back, amazingly without spilling anything, Seifer pulled him back onto the bed and they both ate the breakfast together. Seifer ended up with the juice, and Zell with the milk.

“You know, I had to buy the banana and pancakes separately and then slice it up myself,” Zell pointed out after swallowing a mouthful of pancakes.

“Aww, such a good little wife.”

“I ain’t your wife, Almasy.”

“But don’t you think Zell Almasy sounds kinda sexy?” Seifer asked, smirking at Zell in his overconfident way.

Zell just shook his head, then stuffed the apple into Seifer’s mouth.

All in all, breakfast was delicious and filling and Seifer had to let Zell take a shower while he thought of what else he could make his slave for the day do.

When Zell walked back out, Seifer was grinning from ear to ear.

“Uh oh…” the tattooed blonde wearily eyed his friend. “What did you think up?”

“You’re going to do my laundry.”

“Ew! Seifer. I don’t wanna wash your smelly socks and shit.”

“Well, you said you’d do anything for me today, because I’m sick.”

“But you aren’t sick,” Zell groaned. Seifer just grinned.

Of course, Zell could not escape his duty as best friend and care giver when that best friend was ill, even if he was faking, because he had promised. “Fine. Let’s sort this stuff.”

Zell made his way over to the full, nearly over flowing hamper and dumped it out onto the floor, starting to sort it into whites, darks, and red/oranges.

“Oh, Zell,” Seifer piped up, his voice a little too filled with mirth for Zell’s liking. “I want the “delicates” done by hand, please.” A tattooed cheek came into view as Zell turned his head, followed by piercing blue eyes that just dared him to say he was serious. “You can use my bathroom for those if you want.” He just smirked wider.

Zell narrowed his eyes before tossing Seifer’s clothes, save for the “delicates” in a duffel and heading out to the Garden laundry facilities. He didn’t have that much time, and the jackarse was really tugging for all he had.

After putting the three loads into separate machines, not even being evil and putting something red in with Seifer’s whites, and turning them on he headed back to Seifer’s room for the manual labour.

He didn’t have to worry about the clothes. After several mishaps in the laundry room, cameras were put up to watch the whole area and no one even dared to try anything funny. It was better watched than the room that stored the explosives, for Hyne’s sake.

When Zell got back to the room, he heard the bathtub running. Apparently Seifer had been a real doll and decided to get his work zone ready for him.

There was an empty packet of Tsunami, one of the sample ones they send out in the mail, on the floor. So, Zell was right in assuming Seifer didn’t hand wash his underwear on a regular basis, so, like, ever.

The detergent bubbles were sudsing in the tub and the little pile of assorted undergarments lay on the floor next to the empty packet.

Seifer got to his feet and smirked, walking past a grumbling Zell who set right to work, to get this over and done with.

Some time, just over half an hour, later Zell came strolling out of the room, one hand on his hip, the other spinning something dark green around on his finger. “Seifer,” he called lightly to the blonde that was reading a magazine on the couch.

Said blonde looked over the back of the sofa, eyes shifting from the tattooed face to the spinning thing on his finger.

“Seifer, what is this?” He stopped spinning, grabbing the other side of the washed, rung out and now just damp garment.

Jade eyes went a little wider than before. “That’s nothing.”

“Reeeally?” Zell said, walking closer to the couch. “Cause to me, it looks like a-“

“Don’t even go there.”

“Look like a-“

“Zell!”

“A THONG!” As soon as the words left his mouth Seifer had grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him over the back and onto the couch. “Am I wrong?” Zell asked, blinking, mere centimeters away from Seifer’s face.

“It’s not mine,” Seifer said, voice as cool, and deadly confident as ever he could make it.

“That’s why they’re the same color as your eyes and have S.A. on the little tag, right?” Zell’s eyes lit up and he jumped off the couch, followed by Seifer, and a chase around the room began.

- - -

Zell dashed from Seifer’s room and off towards Instructor Aki’s class. He could make it, if just barely. Being chased, caught, wrestled with, and then having to go move the laundry into the driers, and then having to do even more crap for Seifer, which was followed by retrieving, folding and putting away the clothes had cut his time rather short.

Fucker, Seifer…

Irvine was getting the tiniest sliver of hope. Maybe Zell forgot. It was a minute to class, and Zell wasn’t usually late for things. Not that he’d seen. He’d heard about a mission and a hover board, which didn’t seem to go well for him, but other than that-

Oh fuck. Smite me now, oh mighty Hyne.

Zell Dincht literally skidded into the room with five seconds to spare before class began. He walked over to the instructor’s desk and stood next to it.

Instructor Aki looked at him slightly disapprovingly, then turned to address the class. “Although unofficial, Zell Dincht will take full responsibility as your instructor from 1600-1800 hours every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. He will grade you, he will teach you and he has the right to discipline you in any way he sees fit, as long as he follows protocol.”

Zell saluted to the instructor, but that last sentence scared the shit out of Irvine.

“I am not to be questioned, contacted, or bothered about anything that occurs in these classes unless it is a very, very serious matter. Well, I’ll see you all at our next regularly scheduled class.”

With that said, Aki was out of the room and Zell moved to lean against the front of the desk. “Hello, class. I know it may be odd to have me teaching you. I’m probably the same age as some of you, and if you’re really unlucky, I may even be younger. Fact is, I know my shit when it comes to hand-to-hand, and you’re going to learn it.”

He hopped up onto the desk. “First thing’s first, course outlay, no written assignments, no quizzes, no tests.” The class erupted in cheers.

Zell smiled. “You will be marked on increase in ability and a final demonstration. I will not mark you against my skill, or against that of your peers. You will be marked on how much your ability and skill increases over the next three weeks.”

Everyone seemed to be pretty happy with that as well.

“Classes will be held in Training Room A. Do not get this confused with the Training Center. I will take you all to the Training Center every Wednesday, for the last hour of class. TRA has been booked by me, so during our sessions, no one, except our class will be allowed in there. If a very strong looking male happens to be standing to the side, he is the unlucky soul I blackmailed or threatened into being my demonstration partner.”

A few snickers and quiet comments shifted through the room.

One rather stupid straight cadet whispered a little too loudly, “considering his tastes, what would he and his partner be demonstrating?”

Zell glanced at Instructor Aki’s seating plan and then back to the class. “Ricky,” he said. He actually knew the cadet, but not on good terms. Worse for the cadet though. “You have a cute butt and I’m stronger than you. Wanna go there?” He cocked his head to the side and a whole flock of girls began to giggle madly.

Irvine cringed and crumbled. But, he was slightly thankful it was Ric and not him.

“Alright, now that I’ve scared him mute, I’ll continue.” Another round of chuckles and snickers. “Today you will all be choosing a partner for the remainder of the classes.” He paused a moment, just to make his next statement really set in. “And no, not your best friend, so stop looking at them. Listen up, and do what I tell you to when I tell you to. Stand up.”

The class got to their feet, Irvine and several others a bit slower to than most. “Girls to the right, boys to the left.” They did this too. “Now, find a partner who has the same strength and similar body build to you. And don’t try to fuck with me, because I’ve already looked over your last physicals and I know what weapons you use. I’ll make any changes I deem necessary.”

Zell leaned back on the desk and gave the students about fifteen minutes. They didn’t look too bad, and he knew that some friends would still be able to pair up, and besides they were all still in the same class.

The Cadets had paired off alright. It was obvious Rikan had tried to get with Irvine, despite that fact that his muscle mass looked equal to Zell’s. Illo had dragged him away. Terry and Hiro, and Anasha and Harada. Irvine looked miserable. He was keeping to himself.

Ric the Idiot- er, uh, student- no, just idiot, had found another macho jackass to pair with and were comparing biceps at the moment. Sometimes Zell wondered why he liked men, then remember the gay ones weren’t usually moronic.

“Alright, line up in front of me with your partners, please.” Zell hopped off the desk as they did this.

“You, and you, switch,” he said, indicating two people. “And you two, and you two ladies. Good.” He looked up and down the line. “Does anyone not have a partner?”

Silence. Then more silence, and then a quiet, “Um, Mr. Zell-Sir? Irvine doesn’t have a partner.”

Seven sets of eyes stared at the petite girl like she was the soul being that could bring the apocalypse, and just had.

Zell walked along the line until he found the hiding cowboy, hat tilted down to cover his face, and trying to look small in his six foot body. He reached up and placed a hand on Irvine’s shoulder. “I’ll partner up with him then. He’ll probably need the most work being a sharpshooter anyway.” Zell tapped the brim of the cowboy hat and returned to the front of the room.

Irvine stared at his feet as he walked away. Because I’m a sharpshooter? Not because I’m a pussy, a woman, and prima dona? What? He won’t say it in front of his little class??

“Alright, if you don’t know your partners, introduce yourselves.” Zell waited a few moments. “Now, I have some rules for these classes. No one show up in skirts, that includes young men looking for bonus marks.” Snickers. “I don’t want to see any tight pants. They restrict movement no matter how nice they make your arses look. I want everyone in a pair of runners, sneakers, or freaking ballet slippers if that’s all you got. No heels, no steel toed boots, and nothing heavier than your own head.”

Zell counted things off on his fingers. “I want to see tight shirts though, preferably no sleeves. That means all you ladies are allowed to wear your little tank tops and spaghetti straps around school, you too men.”

A series of “pft”s and “yea rights” followed by a few “maybe that’s not a bad idea”s from both straight men and others.

“No hats. No baseball caps, no sun hats, no those-fifty-styles-of-hats-for-women-I-don’t-know, and no cowboy hats.” Well, everyone knew who that was directed at. “If you have long hair, I want it up. Irvine, come here.”

Can I shoot him, please Levi?

No, Massster, he’sss your teacher. Hiss hiss hiss hiss hiss.

Irvine slowly made his way to the front and Zell plucked off his hat. “Hey….”

Zell just smirked and turned Irvine to show the class a profile. “This is an acceptable style. The bangs hanging in front work in a way that will not disrupt fighting to any great degree,” he commented as his finger pointed down the length of auburn hair that was forever in front of the cowboy’s ears. “Ponytails are great for people with long hair. They’re quick, easy and keep the hair away from the face. Thank you, Irvine.”

Irvine snatched his hat and quickly went to stand behind Harada and Anasha.

“Braids also work well. If your hair is too long and will be a problem, but too short to get in a ‘tail I expect you to come to class with those cheesy and silly looking inch wide head bands. You can pick the color.”

“Do not bribe me with money, I make more than you all do anyway. Bribe me with hotdogs.” He nodded, the class laughed. “Now! Let’s go!” He waved a hand at the class, and headed toward the door. Everyone hurried to get their things and followed after him.