Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Liontaming ❯ Part 4 ( Chapter 4 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Liontaming - Part 4

by paxnirvana Rating: NC-17 Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII Characters: Irvine/Selphie/Squall Archive: Please ask first.

Author's Note: Irvine and Selphie. They just fit. Now Squall, he's tougher. But I felt like the sullen bastard at least deserved a little TLC… or maybe just sex… and a truckload of angst… and some more mental torture… *grin* 3/4/02

Disclaimer: Squaresoft owns; paxnirvana does not. *sobsobsob*

Irvine listened to Selphie fret over Squall and was truly surprised to find the idea of it didn't bother him much at all. While it had just started out as her guilty fantasy - and his willingness to try to give her what she wanted - it had, once fantasy was exposed to the cold reality of Squall, changed… become something more.

As he had been half afraid it would. There was a dark charisma about the boy. A challenge in those remote silences, those inward-turned eyes. He thought deeply and carefully but his rage could be hot and swift. He'd reluctantly drawn them all into his orbit, and world-shaking events seemed to swirl around him as well.

But watching the way he had curled into Selphie, dark head against her breast, then falling almost instantly into sleep between them… The desperate way he had clutched her. The raw need in his kiss. The broken, helpless sound he had made as he came, as if even that small surrender had been almost too much for him. Yet he had sought them out the second time, giving himself to them, indulging Selphie's whim… And surrendered again later to Irvine's insistence that Selphie was in control.

The boy was just so darn needy, and didn't even know it. Stubborn too.

It was night. It was late. And they had both stayed in quarters most of the day, hoping that Squall would take them up on the offer. Both of them convinced by the desperate, longing look they had last seen in his eyes that he would. But they had waited in vain. Growing slowly more and more concerned. Until finally they went out to search for him.

They checked the obvious places first; his quarters, the Training Center, the Command Deck. Nothing. His quarters were dark and silent. And on the Command Deck, Nida was snippy when Irvine asked after Squall. Apparently he hadn't been gone all that long when Irvine showed up looking for him. Surprising.

He met Selphie in front of the Directory as they had agreed. She had gone to check the Training Center. She shook her head at him, dark eyes shadowed with concern. He gathered her into his arms, hugging her reassuringly. There was no one else around, not that he'd let an audience stop him if he wanted to hug his Seffie, but the promenade was oddly deserted. No one to ask if Squall had passed recently.

"Where could he be?" she moaned.

"We could have Nida page him," Irvine suggested, grimacing. Not that Nida wanted to find the Commander right now... okay, maybe to give him a swift kick in the butt…

"No, that'll just upset him if it's not a real emergency," Selphie said with a sigh, looking up into his face, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Her pixie face was pinched with concern.

"Well, c'mon. Let's try everywhere," Irvine said, giving her an encouraging smile. "How big can Balamb Garden be?" Selphie smiled up at him faintly, her gaze softening.

"You're so sweet. I love you so much," she said, eyes gleaming. Irvine looked down at her tenderly, his heart swelling with emotion no matter how many times he heard her say those words. Every time was precious. "How many other boyfriends would help their girls look for another man?"

Irvine smiled down at her wickedly. "Who says he's for you?"

Selphie gave a delighted laugh, squeezing him tightly, her spirits picking up at his teasing. Which had been his intent. "Oh you! Share! It was my fantasy in the first place…"

"Yeah, but I remember your fantasy, sunshine… and so far we haven't managed it…"

"Ooh! You're right!" she said, eyes widening in mock realization. "Do you think tonight…"

"We have to find him first, sunshine," Irvine reminded her gently. She sighed dramatically.

"Okay, where should we look next?"

"Library?" he said, shrugging.

She laughed and shrugged too. "Why not?"

They'd been on their way to the Cafeteria after a fruitless search of the Library when Selphie came to an abrupt halt. She slapped her hand against her forehead, the other poised cocked on her hip as she rolled her eyes.

"Duh! The Infirmary!" she said, shooting him an exasperated glance. Irvine frowned at her for a moment.

Rinoa. Of course.

He took Selphie's hand in his and silently turned them around. They walked quickly around the inner core to the Infirmary, and even with Irvine shortening his strides to match Selphie's they made good time, getting there within minutes. It was dark and quiet in the medical area. Most of the lights shut off. Except for the faint glow of floor lights to guide night-time wanderers around.

They entered the outer waiting room to find Angelo, Rinoa's faithful dog, lying in front of the inner door, his head on his paws. He looked up at them mournfully as they entered. Selphie ran to his side, dropping down on her knees beside him to stroke his head gently.

"Poor little Angelo! Has Zelly been taking good care of you?" she said in a soft sing-song voice, scratching behind his ears. Angelo watched her soberly, accepting the attention but it was clear he felt it only second best to his mistress's attentions. Or Zell's for whom he dropped his dignity and returned promptly to puppy-hood.

After a moment, she stood up, wiping her hands on her shorts to clear them of dog hair. Irvine pushed the door open, stepping carefully over Angelo. The dog lurched to his feet and started to follow Selphie through the door. She turned around to catch him, whispering to him that dogs shouldn't be in the infirmary proper and yes it was a stupid rule but he didn't want to be banished to the parking garage again did he?

Irvine let her take care of the dog as he walked quietly into Dr. Kadowski's empty office. There was a low light on in the far treatment room. He paused outside the partially opened curtain, glancing inside.

Squall was there. At Rinoa's side.

He knelt, a lean black shadow, beside the bed. Gloved hands holding one of her hands, dark head bent over them. His shoulders shook slightly.

Irvine's throat tightened and guilt raced through him. Had they hurt him? Drastically misread the need and wanting in his eyes down on the stairs? Did he truly love Rinoa and they'd only made his burden unintentionally worse by seducing him? The pain that radiated from that lean form was almost palpable. He felt Selphie slide up beside him, her eyes wide as she took in the scene in front of them. Her hand rose to her mouth. She looked up at him, concern and guilt clear in her eyes too. He jerked his head mutely toward the door and she nodded in agreement.

They silently slipped away. Shame followed them.

His mind was a whirl of dark dreams; filled with smoke and hopelessness and blood. He felt her hand, cold in his even through his gloves. She felt unreal; like a statue, or a corpse.

Rinoa. His failure. His burden.

He thought he heard voices once, footsteps. The whine of her dog. But he couldn't summon the energy to lift his head and look around. Almost afraid of what he would find. Afraid he wouldn't be strong enough to deny the need one more time.

He wanted the warmth again, the laughter, the joy. Arms that gave and didn't demand. Strength that wasn't afraid to be tender. But they weren't for him. Not that way. He could watch, from a distance. And know that what they had was forever beyond him.

The ice of his loneliness encased him, filled him. Like Shiva's power. Chilling his blood.

He shivered. Gathered his guilt and his determination as his hand tightened around Rinoa's. When the time came, he would do anything to restore her. To make her whole again. So that she could find joy, somewhere, with someone else. She was light to his darkness. But not enough to illuminate his shadows. Not strong enough on her own to reach him.

No one was. No one.

The scar on his forehead throbbed. Still too new and raw to take the pressure of leaning on it. He lifted his head slightly. Opened his eyes and stared blankly at his black-gloved hand, entwined in Rinoa's. Touching, but separate. He remembered the sight of his own bare hand beside another's braced on pale flesh… straining… together… showing him the way… such heat… he groaned softly in regret, in longing.

And wondered helplessly if the agony of separation would ever fade.

They had stripped each other with silent fervor as soon as they reached his room. Hands clutching, mouths seeking, soft whimpers coming from both their throats. He'd picked her up, her slender body trembling, and pushed himself into her slick warmth right there against the inside of the door. Reassurance they both needed.

Selphie threw her head back and moaned deeply, her thighs tight around his hips. He groaned at the feel of her, the small shudders that wracked them both, the desperate way she wound her arms around his neck, hands combing into his hair.

"Did we do that? He seemed so… hurt," she gasped, leaning forward to press her lips to the skin under his ear.

"I don't know," he said, arms tight around her. Grateful for her, in his arms, but still seeing Squall's lean body bent over Rinoa's motionless form. Shaking.

"Oh, sweetie, I need to feel you. I'm afraid… go deep… please…" she was murmuring, moving against him restlessly.

He turned them around, lifting his head to look into her dark eyes as he carried her over to the bed. The bed that was still a mess from this morning… so much had changed in so short a time… two had somehow become three with very little effort… one night of compassion and lust… the hidden intensity of Squall nothing to underestimate… but they had… they had… he wanted to see that serious face go slack with passion once more…. see that lean form shake with joy instead of pain…

He laid her down near the edge, bracing himself over her with one arm, gazes locked nearly as closely as their bodies. She read everything in his eyes and gave it back to him. So uncannily in synch, it was almost like being junctioned.

"I love you, Selphie," he said with quiet intensity. Overwhelmed, her lips parted and tears welled in her eyes. One rolled down her cheek as she smiled tremulously at him. So very beautiful, even in her regret.

"I love you too," she breathed, lips trembling. "So much… so much…"

He covered her mouth with his, sharing her breath. Then he began to move. Slow, deep. Filling her completely. Her limbs tightened around him, her body arched. She cried out into his mouth. Her body like liquid fire in his arms, scorching him, surrounding him, holding him. Precious. Fragile. Indomitable. He cherished her now more than ever. His Selphie.

He called out her name desperately as he moved in her, pressing deep as she had asked, listening to her frantic cries of pleasure grow louder. The two of them one as they reached their peak, falling over the summit together… and both of them thinking of the dark-haired man they had left kneeling in the infirmary, alone.

The Garden had stopped moving. Dimly he heard the clangs and dull thuds of docking through the hull. It was barely dawn, the sky still dark. Silence reigned now.

They had arrived. At Fisherman's Horizon. The road to Esthar beckoned.

Squall rose slowly to his feet, knees aching from kneeling beside her bed all night long. There was no change in her. Her eyes were closed, her face pale and wan. Still as death. He gathered her up, slinging her inelegantly over his shoulder. Walked out with his burden into the main part of the infirmary, barely feeling her physical weight, but his own heart felt like lead.

Angelo whined at him. He stared down at the dog a moment. Selfless love. What must it be like to have someone - even a dog - feel that for you? He shoved the thought aside, focusing his mind on what he had to do. Reach Esthar with Rinoa… and get someone to help her. If Angelo wanted to follow, who was he to argue?

"Whatever…" he muttered, walking out, but making certain to hold the door open long enough for Angelo to slip through behind him. The dog's nails clicked on the metal floor as he trailed Squall and his burden to the elevator. For once there was no one around this early in the morning. The main core was deserted.

He rode the elevator to the second level and made his way to the observation deck - to the exit to Fisherman's Horizon.

And eventually, Esthar.

Squall came to an abrupt halt when he thought he heard his name called, the sound falling like a rock into the hot air. Bright sunlight glittered painfully off the surface of the ocean that surrounded them. Rinoa was deadweight on his shoulders. Angelo still trailed along behind, whimpering pathetically, tongue hanging from his mouth.

Squall shook his head. The dog hadn't heard anything, apparently. So he was hallucinating. Great. He wiped a hand across his dry brow, vaguely concerned that he'd stopped sweating again. Was it time for another spell? How long had it been since the last? He couldn't tell. It felt like he'd been walking this bridge forever. But the end was nearly in sight.

Shaking his head, he hiked Rinoa up into a slightly easier position and started walking again.

The causeway bridge was longer than he had realized - kilometers out in the middle of the ocean, the sun pounding down on them, the Esthar shore no more than a brown smudge on the horizon. Earlier there had been a breeze - but it was still him in his black leather under the merciless sun. The coat had come off almost immediately; now wrapped around his waist. He'd lost count of how many Esuna spells he'd cast on both himself and Rinoa to keep heat prostration and sunburn away, but he knew his stock was getting low. The one time he'd cast Water on himself the shock of it had almost been enough to put him down, much to his disgust. But at least he'd managed to gather a little water to drink afterwards, even if he'd ended up pouring most of it down Rinoa's throat.

Finally they were nearing the pale brown eastern shore. The breeze had started back up again. But now it was coming off the dusty land, filling his eyes with grit and rubbing his exposed skin painfully. It was easier to keep his head down, his half-closed gaze fixed on the aging planks beneath his boots. Angelo perked up suddenly, lifting his head and barking sharply. Then the damn dog took off toward the end of the causeway like a shot. Leaving Squall to trudge on alone with Angelo's mistress draped over his back. Placing one foot in front of the other, grimly determined to reach the far shore before night fell. The sun was dipping low behind him, sending long dark shadows out in front of him.

There was that sound again… his name. Shouted. He came to a stumbling halt, finally lifting his glare-sore eyes to look beyond his own feet. To see color and motion approach out of the darkening heat haze. Color that slowly resolved itself into running people. People he knew. He stared blankly at them. How did they know? And why where they here, at the end of the trail and not back on the Garden where he'd left them? Had he somehow turned around?

"Squall!" Quistis' voice. He turned toward her, slowing coming aware of the others as they moved closer. Angelo was jumping up at Zell, barking excitedly. Happy that he'd found his wrestling buddy once more. Zell was welcome to the damn mutt, Squall thought uncharitably. Zell hadn't had to listen to him whine most of the way across the bridge.

Then a tall shape in a dark hat and long coat moved close. He swayed on his feet. Hands caught Rinoa's shoulders, steadying her on his back as he staggered. There was a bright flash of yellow beyond, and a moving shadow behind that.

"Easy there," Irvine said, his voice low, gaze narrowed under his hat brim. "Let me take her now, Squall." And he tried to lift Rinoa away, off Squall's shoulders. That made him react violently, jerking back, head snapping up to pin the other man with a deadly glare.

"No!" he muttered. "Going to Esthar… find Ellone… Laguna… somebody to help her…"

"Damn fool - walking all the way?" Irvine growled, voice still low. "Didn't you think first?"

"Get off my ass…"

"I'll put you on yours, boy, you don't watch it. Give her over!" And the uncharacteristic savagery in the sharpshooter's low tone snapped his head up. He stared into angry amber eyes, in his exhaustion completely missing the concern behind the anger, his own gaze narrowing to a glare in instinctive response to the threat he saw there. But before he could gather his drained body to react, Selphie was beside them, her hands cool on his arm as she stared up into his face, brown eyes even darker with concern.

"Squall! Let Irvine take her… she needs water. And so do you..."

"Used spells," he muttered, blinking down at her. So small. So earnest. He remembered the feel of her in his arms, so sleek and pleasing. Like a dream…

"They don't do nearly enough, dufus… she needs water now. Give her to Irvine!"

He stared down at her, numb. Hot. Weary. Scalded further by her tart tone. He'd been carrying this burden forever, how could he relinquish it now? But Irvine… he'd tasted him. Trusted him with his own body… both in and out of battle. And Irvine took care of Selphie so well… better than he could. He lifted his head slowly, blinked at Irvine again, then nodded once.

And the burden suddenly vanished from his shoulders. He staggered at the loss, stumbling back. Selphie cried out in alarm as she tried to catch him, but it was futile. He was taller and outweighed her by quite a bit. They tumbled toward the dusty planks of the bridge together. Even in exhaustion his battle-hardened reflexes took over; he caught her close, tucking her in his arms and curling up around her as they struck the ground. Taking the blow. The impact knocked some of the air out of him, stunning him slightly.

Selphie straddled him, hands streaking over him, searching for wounds or injuries he assumed. Her touch still stirred him, her concern warmed him. But he could only lay under her, gasping. Vision pulsing red at the edges. Hmm. Must have pushed himself harder than he thought. Just how far had he walked that day? His feet throbbed in his boots in testament to every forgotten kilometer. A long way.

"Squall! Squall! Are you okay?" she was saying. Her hands cupped his face, her expression anxious.

"Yeah," he managed.

Someone crouched down beside them. Irvine again. Without Rinoa. He had a canteen in his hands now instead. That wasn't right. Squall frowned.

"Where is she?"

"Matron and Quisty are lookin' after her," Irvine said with a frown of his own. Then he tilted the canteen near Squall's lips, slopping a little water into his mouth. He swallowed eagerly. Then choked.

"Matron?" he gasped, gaze narrowing. Selphie nodded enthusiastically above him, the motion bouncing her slightly on his chest. He put his hands on her thighs, fingers slipping under the edges of her short jumper. Soothed by the familiar feel of her, by Irvine's proximity. Some of the clawing drive to go on faded a bit. They'd come after him. He wasn't quite sure how he felt about that.

"Matron's going to Esthar to see some doctor who studies magic. Trying to find a way to keep that nasty Ultimecia out of her head. Zell's escorting her. The rest of us came to find you, silly." She paused and glared down at him. Well, as much of a glare as Selphie could manage. More of a pout, really. All the while Irvine fed him little sips of water. Not letting him have too much at once, which was good, as he remembered from his survival training, but frustrating as all hell.

"Why didn't you tell someone what you were up to?" she continued, lower lip quivering slightly. And that worked better than the glare. Squall's stomach clenched with guilt. "You just vanished! Sitting with Rinoa in the Infirmary one second then poof! nowhere… we about tore the whole Garden apart trying to figure out where you had gone… we were worried." She leaned over him, eyes glistening with the beginnings of angry tears.

"Then the White SeeD ship showed up with Matron and one of the crew mentioned they thought they'd seen someone walking down the causeway - toward Esthar," Irvine added, head tilted down so that his eyes were half-concealed by his hat brim. He looked grim. "I thought Seffie was gonna kill that White SeeD Captain when he refused to take us to the spot."

"We were worried!"

"Good thing Matron intervened…I was afraid it was gonna get bloody."

"Irvine!" Selphie wailed, laughingly exasperated.

Someone cleared their throat above them and Squall shifted his weary gaze up to Zell's faintly red face. He had his hands stuffed in his pockets and a strange expression on his face. Worried. confused.

"Guys, hate to interrupt here, but Matron says we should get him out of the sun. She thinks we can Cura them both after they get a little more fluid in them."

Irvine snorted, glancing around. "Hell, it's practically night already."

"Anyway, there's an old train station over here we can use… it's shelter." Zell's eyes were wide as he jerked his head back toward a low building almost lost in the gathering night. He was drinking in the strange sight of Selphie straddling their taciturn leader's chest. And since Squall wasn't protesting or throwing her off - and neither was Irvine - something was up that even Zell couldn't help but notice.

Irvine shot Selphie a warning look and she slid off Squall's chest with a little sigh. Squall's hand held tight on her leg above the knee, even though his eyes were closed in exhaustion. He'd carried Rinoa over forty kilometers, the stubborn jerk, she thought, looking down at him with gentle pride before her faint smile slowly faded - but it was her he was holding on to as if afraid she might vanish. And she had the distinct sense that if nobody else was around, he'd be holding on to Irvine just as tightly. She caught her bottom lip in her teeth and looked up into Irvine's concerned gaze. He'd noticed as well.

They'd made a horrible mistake last night, she realized with a sinking in her heart. Leaped to the wrong conclusions. They should never have left him alone in the Infirmary.

Her gaze skipped up to Zell who was still watching them in mild confusion. She didn't really care if Zell found out what was going on between them - but Squall probably would. And Zell wasn't exactly known for his ability to keep a secret…

"Zell, why don't you make sure Angelo gets enough water - he looked all tired out too, poor doggie," she said, smiling brightly. "We'll drag Squall inside."

"Okay," the blond said, gaze narrowing slightly before he turned away with a shrug. Shooting the three of them one last puzzled look as he left. Irvine tipped his hat back, watching Zell's departure with thoughtful consideration.

"Hmm. I think we're busted," he said softly.

Selphie sighed, letting her bright smile fade away. "So? It's just Zell."

"Just an observation," was Irvine's calm reply.

Squall lay on the ground between them, staying silent, his grip still firm. She frowned down at him, then looked inside that special place in her mind and ran a quick inventory of her healing magic. Plenty to spare without sapping her strength. She moved her hands in the patterns that helped her focus the spell, directing the Cura onto Squall. Green-gold light flared in a familiar sparkle around him, the magic flowing out of her effortlessly. He opened his eyes with a sigh, looking up at her, the weariness already fading from his face she was pleased to see.

"It won't work," he said, eyes dark, hooded.

"What do you mean? My spells always work…" she began, indignant, then broke off as she caught the bleak chill in his gaze. "Oh."

Squall sat up slowly, drawing his knees up in front of him and leaning his arms on them. He was sweaty and dirty and worn-looking.

"What you have…" he said, and his gaze flickered to include Irvine, "…it's better without me."

"Don't know that 'better' is a fair word to use…" Irvine said cautiously.

"Then I'll make it clearer," Squall interrupted harshly. "I can't take it." And it looked as if the words had been pulled raw from deep inside him. His eyes were bleak.

Selphie sat back on her heels with a little hiss of pained dismay, hands rising to cover her mouth. Oh, they'd messed up badly last night all right. Her heart ached for him, gaze softening.

But Irvine glared, leaning forward on one fisted hand, eyes hard and flashing. "Oh for Ifrit's sake… can you hear yourself? We give you one night of peace and your world's comin' to an end? The hell, Leonhart, you're just a fuckin' coward."

Squall's eyes blazed with sudden rage. Selphie could only blink at Irvine in shock over her hands, rendered mute by the unexpected harshness of his words.

"Watch it, Kinneas."

"No, I've watched. Now I get my turn," Irvine snarled, his expression savage, nothing laid-back or understanding about him now. Just pure angry male. "You're right… you put your hands on my woman and now you owe me. One more night, Leonhart. You're ours for one more night. Then you can slink off and lick your wounds in private like you prefer."

It was as if Silence had been cast over them all. Squall's narrow glare was locked with Irvine's and she could feel the tension soar. She scarcely dared breathe. But then she had to, sucking in a short, sharp breath. The sound sent a flicker over both their faces. But it was Irvine who looked away first - right into her stunned eyes.

His gaze pierced her, made her shiver. Possessive and angry and somehow sad. No sign of her teasing, gentle lover at all. He was acting more as if he were in battle. Irvine's gaze shifted back to Squall, brows lowering in a frown.

"Well?" he demanded.

Squall met his glare, gaze narrow, face cold and still.

"After Esthar," he said finally, no break in his expression. "I can't abandon her."

"Not askin' you to," Irvine replied promptly. "Seffie and I will do everything we can to help you with her."

Squall glared at Irvine a moment longer. Then he nodded.

Irvine stood up, then held out his hand to him, offering him help up. Selphie held her breath again, waiting, watching.

Squall's gloved hand clasped Irvine's and he let the other man pull him to his feet. Then both of them turned and offered her a hand up.

She looked at their hands and smiled.

- - to be continued - -