Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Liontaming ❯ Part 7 ( Chapter 7 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Liontaming - Part 7

by paxnirvana Rating: NC-17 [well, not really this time] Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII Characters: Irvine/Selphie/Squall Archive: Please ask first.

Author's Note: Irvine and Selphie. They just fit. Now Squall, he's tougher. But I felt like the sullen bastard at least deserved a little TLC… or maybe just sex… and a truckload of angst… and some more torture… and mucho sex… and a bunch of plot-twisting. [yes, I change some facts. Deal.] *grin* 6/7/02

Waaaa! Wrong save file! And I needed some nit-picky details from Disk 3, so I just had to go start the whole damn game over again… *oooh, mega-bummer* But it held me up… *sorry*

Disclaimer: Squaresoft owns; paxnirvana does not. Get it?

Irvine Kinneas stared darkly at the back of Squall Leonhart's head. Wishing, for an instant, that he shared some of Quistis' Blue Magic skills. Laser Eye might be handy right now to burn some sense into the boy's stubborn brain. It was only painfully obvious that Squall was ignoring both him and Selphie. And it was starting to piss Irvine off. After last night, the boy should at least have been partially smitten. Casting them longing looks when nobody was looking, maybe. But then, that was no doubt just too much to expect of Squall.

Even after a night that had been as close to heaven as Irvine could imagine.

Right after the morning's incident with Quistis, Squall had curtly organized them and dragged them all out onto the streets - skyways, rather - of Esthar. For recon. It was one of his more annoying leader-type skills. Squall always had to thoroughly investigate every place they went; to survey the important locations, grill the locals, find the most useful shops - as well as locate the best escape routes. Irvine had to admit that Squall's habit had come in handy more than once already in the course of their missions, but damn, they'd covered what felt like a hundred miles by now and his feet were starting to ache. Would it kill the boy to take one of those tube-thingies once in a while?

The city of Esthar was one huge place, Irvine thought. It was a far cry from the working chocobo ranch he'd spent his late youth on before being recruited by Galbadia Garden for his uncanny skill with a rifle. Not to mention it far out-stripped Deling City itself; making Galbadia's pride and joy look like a primitive village by comparison. He had to ruefully acknowledge, with more than a trace of country-boy awe, that he'd never seen anything quite like it.

He was looking around just as eagerly as the rest of them from his spot at the rear of their little parade. Selphie and Zell and Rinoa's dog were a few paces in front of him, the two humans deep in conversation. Though it was looking more like an ass-chewing for Zell on Selphie's part than a conversation. He hid a grin. Poor Zell. Squall and Quistis were further off in the lead, both of them looking grim and silent and scarcely aware of the view at all. What was it with those two?

The city had been quite a shock when they arrived late yesterday after finally battling their way through the seemingly endless salt desert that surrounded it; it was sleek, clean and ultra-modern. A glittering oasis hidden in the midst of savage, unforgiving badlands. Yet the designs, forms and colors were oddly soothing, and while it fairly brimmed with jaw-droppingly advanced technology, it all seemed somehow… familiar.

Yet all of this had been hidden behind illusion generating force-walls and legendary xenophobia for nearly twenty years. The people of Esthar itself had had no contact with the outside world - with strangers - in all that time. Despite that, everyone they encountered was unfailingly polite to them. Too polite.

After only a short while it had become clear, at least to him, that the people of Esthar were afraid. Deathly afraid. They had been the ones who lived directly under the Sorceress Adel's malevolent fist, after all. They knew, more than anyone else in the world, what the power of a Sorceress could do in the hands of someone without conscience.

And yesterday, they'd let the Sorceress Edea of Galbadia into their now peaceful world.

Up ahead, Squall was talking to an old man and woman who were standing at one of the numerous viewpoints around the city, gazing out at the imposing Presidential Palace that dominated the central core. Apparently the Esthar were just as taken with their own city as the newcomers were.

"Walked here from FH, did you?" the old man was saying. "Some of my friends went there. Haven't seen them in more than seventeen years. I wonder how they're doing?"

Squall glanced at Quistis and narrowed his eyes slightly, impatient, she just shook her head back at him. 'Be polite', her look clearly said. In that instant, Squall's gaze flicked past her to him, then suddenly caught and held. And Irvine felt the shock as something savage glowed at the back of Squall's gaze. Need, raw and hot. Then Squall lowered his lashes and folded his arms over his chest, breaking the connection and leaving Irvine shaken and overcome with an urgent desire to walk over and kiss the boy silly in front of everyone. So much for being ignored.

"You're from Garden, aren't you? They mentioned that on the newsnet yesterday," the old woman said, smiling at Squall with vague, polite curiosity. "The three of them were made in Esthar, you know. I'd really enjoy seeing them someday."

Squall's attention snapped instantly back to the old woman but before he could say anything Selphie spoke up, excited.

"They were?! Oh! Oh! Squall! Then maybe we could talk to somebody about fixing Trabia..."

Irvine stepped closer to her and put his hand on her shoulder. She was trembling faintly, eagerly and he could almost see the hope rising. He knew Trabia Garden's destruction still nagged at her, even though there hadn't been anything she could have done differently to save it. He squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.

Squall glanced at her, his expression softening slightly, almost warming. Right here where everyone could see. Irvine sucked in a surprised breath. The boy was downright gorgeous when he let himself relax. If he'd only smile…

"We'll look into it, Selphie," Squall said softly, watching her intently. "I promise. But we'll have to catch up with their absentee president first." Selphie nodded eagerly in understanding.

The old woman laughed softly, shaking her gray head in amusement. "Oh, him! He's so sweet - we owe so much to him. I just wish he'd find himself a good partner and settle down at last. I worry about him, alone all these years."

"Now, now, mother, don't you be match-making for the President again. He's a busy man. Besides, he's got those good friends of his. He doesn't seem all that lonely," the old man said, smiling at the old woman fondly. She smiled back at him, the two of them exchanging looks that clearly showed they shared a loving, vibrant connection enhanced by long years spent together. Irvine's heart thudded heavily in his chest as he wondered if he and Selphie would be like that when they were old… still deeply in love… and how they could fit Squall into that cozy picture. And if he would even let them try…

Irvine glanced briefly at Squall and wasn't surprised at all to see the grim, closed look on his face. He'd shut down again. Selphie shivered under his hand. She'd noticed too, then. Squall withdrawing.

"We need to go," Squall said abruptly, turning and striding swiftly away. After a puzzled glance at the others, Quistis followed him. Zell shrugged and ruffled Angelo's ears, then walked off without comment too. Selphie reached up and put her hand over Irvine's. The old couple looked after Squall with concern.

"Something wrong with that boy?" the old man asked frowning slightly. Selphie beamed at him.

"He has a hard time opening up. Affection makes him nervous. But we're working on him!" she said cheerfully. Irvine fought back a bark of laughter, tilting his head down to shade his eyes with his hat brim. Selphie's wicked way of skirting the truth was getting dangerous to his composure.

The old woman looked at their joined hands and smiled gently. "You two make a cute couple. But the way that boy in black was looking at your young lady, well, I think you just might have some competition there, young man."

Irvine looked up, surprised. Squall had been obvious enough for total strangers to notice? Then Zell and Quistis must certainly have picked up on it too. Did Squall realize? Probably not.

Selphie just laughed with bright amusement. "Oh, Irvine likes competition. Don't you, sweetie?"

"Just as much as you do, sunshine," he drawled, giving her shoulder a warning squeeze. "We should catch up with the others."

Selphie pulled away from him, then stepped up and gave an impulsive hug to the old woman. Who blinked at her in mild shock, but didn't protest. The old man smiled at her indulgently, faintly bemused.

"I think you two make a cute couple too. Thanks!" Selphie said before spinning away and racing off after their friends. Irvine tipped his hat to the old couple respectfully and followed her at a slower pace. Watching her run with a faintly proprietary smile. She just moved so sweetly in that jumper…

"Goodness, what an interesting group of young people!" he heard the old woman say behind him. "Maybe we should let more strangers into Esthar, father…"

Guilt. Fury. Longing. Frustration. The emotions surged through him like a dark tide as he strode along the high skyways of Esthar City. Emotions that were familiar to him, but not at this level. These were strong. Strong enough that he wanted to stop, track down Esthar's errant President and demand that someone be sent to fix Trabia Garden immediately. And the impulse terrified him.

And it was all because he wanted her to be happy. Selphie. More than almost anything else. When had her happiness become more important than duty? Rinoa would be shocked, if she knew. She'd always teased him about this very thing. About how focused he was. About how it was just his duty, his stubborn adherence to contract that had kept him at her side. He now knew she was right.

He didn't love Rinoa. He never had. And he probably never could. Because Garden was too much a part of him for him to care much about anything outside of it. Or anyone. Even this war was just about Garden, though the rest of the world had been drawn in as pawns, because SeeD was the target.

Selphie and Irvine were both SeeD. Both part of Garden. Part of his life. And, after this morning, maybe even his heart... he fought those memories down. Couldn't afford to remember the pleasure and the acceptance he'd found with them. Or the sheer contentment of waking up in someone's arms… in Irvine's arms…

No. He couldn't think about it anymore. Irvine and Selphie were together. Like that old Esthar couple. Their connection clear. Two couldn't be three. Real life didn't work that way. Besides, he had his duty. To Garden and to Rinoa. He couldn't afford the distraction right now.

Yet envy had surged when he saw Irvine touch Selphie so openly. He wanted to be able to do that too - but he had no idea how. He had no experience with comforting someone. He could fuck her, but he still didn't know how to reach out, even to her. Indifference had been his only way to cope for so long that now that it had abandoned him, he was left feeling exposed and confused. Doubly so because there was no jealousy involved - he even wanted Irvine to comfort her, and was guiltily relieved when the other man did so because then he didn't have to try. But he could still see the faint entreaty in Selphie's eyes. She still wanted something from him. Why him?

How to react? What to do? It all seemed beyond him, as if he'd missed class the day coping with emotions was taught leaving him struggling to catch up to everyone else. Struggling to understand just how he could have allowed the two of them inside his walls so easily when by all rights he could barely understand how he could ever accept just one person.

This was worse than it had ever been with Rinoa. Because Selphie was SeeD too and he could smypathize with her motives; she wanted Trabia restored. Her Garden. Her home. And as Commander, he could probably make it happen. But it would have to wait until this war was done. Because there was no guarantee that any of them would survive it to rebuild. If the Sorceress Ultimecia found Ellone and cast her spell of Time Compression before they were ready, SeeD would be destroyed.

"Squall, where are we going next?" Quistis called from behind him. He slowed down fractionally and looked around, registering the city, their location. They'd already covered most of the city, at least as far as he could tell, and right now they weren't far from one of those airtube stops.

After only a moment's hesitation, he changed direction, heading toward the lifter. It was long past time he got his priorities straight. He'd survived this long without anyone else's emotional support no matter how anti-social that made him; he'd just have to go on as he always had. Set foolish personal longings aside. Live up to the trust Cid had shown by making him the Commander. Find Ellone at last, protect her from Ultimecia and… see if maybe she could help Rinoa.

But most of all, he'd have to put his obligations to Rinoa and Ellone before any personal considerations. Which would mean avoiding being alone with either Irvine or Selphie.

"To the lab," he answered Quistis shortly, trying to ignore the black hole of despair that had opened in his heart. "It's time to find out what's going on with Rinoa and Matron."

Duty first again. From now on.

Squall stood, arms folded, glaring narrowly at the politely smiling young woman who barred their entry to Dr. Odine's lab.

"I'm sorry, sir, but as I said, the Doctor left strict orders that no one was to be allowed into the lab until further notice."

"Hey! What gives? We're the ones who brought them in!" Zell chimed in, dancing impatiently on his toes. The two Esthar soldiers standing behind the young woman straightened up watchfully. At Zell's tone, Angelo whined; Selphie put her hand on the dog's head to quiet him. They didn't need him interfering. Things were tense enough already. Squall dropped his chin in the way he had when he was truly annoyed, but his hand stayed away from the junction for his gunblade. For now.

Quistis glanced from the soldiers to Squall then to Zell and frowned. "Zell. We don't want to antagonize the doctor…"

"Them?" the young woman interrupted, her expression of polite professional disinterest never wavering. "Oh, you mean the two foreign women? They are no longer here."

"What? Where are they?" Squall asked sharply, dropping his hands, fisted, to his sides. The young woman took a half-step back at the look on his face, then seemed to steady herself. One of the Esthar soldiers shifted his grip on his weapon, clearly wary.

Irvine shot her a concerned look from under the cover of his hat brim. Sensing, just like she did, an impending fight if Squall didn't get himself under control. He'd been extra-touchy ever since they talked to those two nice old people earlier. She bit at her lower lip anxiously, watching Squall. He'd been so surprisingly sweet about the possibility of getting real help to Trabia, but right after he'd gone back to his old crabby self - only more so. It was worrying. And a little frightening. Did she and Irvine scare him that much?

"They were taken to Lunar Gate first thing this morning," the young woman said quietly. "Didn't the President's Aide inform you?" Squall turned abruptly and stalked back down the walkway, brushing by them all as if they weren't even there. Focused. Furious. Edgy.

After a stunned moment of silence and wide-eyed glances around, Zell followed him, Angelo on his heels. Selphie shivered, leaning closer to Irvine who slipped his arm around her shoulders briefly to hug her, the sweetie. Squall hadn't even looked at them. What was going through his head? Why was he so angry over Rinoa? Weren't the Esthar doing everything they could to help her?

"Thank you for your assistance," Quistis said to the young woman politely, trying to smooth over the situation. The young woman stared after Squall thoughtfully.

"He must be worried about that girl in blue. I understand. Is she his girlfriend?"

Quistis nodded somberly. "He cares about her a great deal." Selphie's stomach sank at Quistis' words. Was that it? Did Squall consider Rinoa his? Or was it only guilt? He was just so darned closed-mouthed… even after this morning she still couldn't guess how he really felt. That kiss nagged at her. He'd seemed so desperate. So needy. But maybe he'd just been confused… and now he had realized how he really felt about Rinoa. Which would mean what for her and Irvine? Would he shun them forever now? Her heart ached at the very thought.

"Hey! C'mon!" Zell shouted from the far end of the walkway, waving an arm wildly at them all. "He's takin' off without us, guys!"

"Hell Fire, what's with him?" Irvine swore and took off at a run. Selphie glanced at Quistis, and the two of them followed at a run too. It seemed it was time to go to Lunar Gate. Whatever that might be.

The rental car's navigation system had shown the installation called Lunar Gate was on the far side of the vast desert continent, near a place called Tear's Point. The long ride from Esthar had been strangely silent. Everyone had been somber, taking their cue from Squall who refused to say more than two words at a time. And said two words were invariably curt and to the point. They had managed to rent a car big enough to hold all five of them and the dog. Which sucked, Irvine thought darkly, because he'd dearly wanted to get their fearless leader alone for a minute or two. They'd even passed a couple interesting new locations along the way, but uncharacteristically Squall hadn't let them stop to check them out. He had been too intent on their final destination.

Something clearly wasn't right with Squall.

But they'd arrived already and there'd still been no chance to talk to him; he was out of the car like a shot.

Irvine gallantly helped Quistis out of the car, giving her a sweeping bow and a flirty smile as he did so. She favored him with a frosty glare for his trouble. Still suspicious from this morning, it seemed. He just smiled wickedly back at her, lifting her gloved hand to his mouth and kissing her knuckles. She jerked her hand free, giving him a sharp glare before her gaze darted pointedly to Selphie standing a few steps away. He just smiled wider, earning himself a poisonous glare. Selphie was oblivious, hands folded tightly together under her chin as she stared wide-eyed at the huge complex behind them. Poor Quisty, he thought in gentle amusement as she whirled away, heels clicking sharply on the pavement in her irritation, the girl was just too dang uptight for her own good.

Zell jumped out of the back of the car, Angelo barking and leaping happily after him. The dog had been amazingly good on the ride over, hardly whining at all. Zell was petting him and praising him for that very thing, making the dog practically melt with glee. Selphie was still staring at the building, chewing anxiously on her lower lip. Bothered by something.

Irvine walked up beside her to check out their destination too. Lunar Gate looked like some strange half-completed tower to the moon. Three long, heavily reinforced translucent tubes emerged from the far end and arched gracefully up from the massive structure toward the sky. Their purpose unclear at first glance… and even at second glance.

"You okay, sunshine?" he asked, knowing that at least part of her mood was because of Squall. She glanced up at him, gave him a tentative smile, then waved toward the building vaguely. He put his arm around her shoulders, hugging her close for a second. Never able to resist a good excuse to touch her in public. Or even a not-so-good excuse.

"What is this place?" she asked, leaning into him gratefully for a moment. Irvine just shrugged.

Zell bounced up beside them, Angelo still romping at his side. Quistis moved over more slowly, her gaze focused on the building too.

"It's a mass driver," the martial artist said, grinning faintly. Pleased as always to share some bit of knowledge that one of the others didn't have. "I asked that President's Aide guy last night. They shoot stuff out of it like a gun all the way up into orbit so they don't have to use rockets all the time. It cheaper and far more efficient. Sounds pretty cool, huh?"

"Like a gun?" Irvine repeated, tilting his hat back a bit and looking closer at the massive structure. Taking a professional interest in it now. Now that he mentioned it…

"Wow," Selphie said, stepping out of his hold and blinking in awe while she shaded her eyes with her hand in order to get a better look at the tubes as they glittered in the sunlight. "That's one humongous gun!"

There were two guards standing nearby on watch at the top of the short flight of stairs that led down to the courtyard in front of the building entrance. They exchanged looks, apparently amused by their gawking. One of them even snickered faintly.

"You kids going in soon? They're waiting for you inside."

Zell glowered at the guards and shadow-boxed the air, "We're not kids. We're SeeD!"

"SeeD, huh? You're not what I expected," one of the guards said. The other nodded.

"What did you expect SeeD to be like?" Irvine asked in a deceptively casual drawl, attention caught by the man's words. They all came subtly alert. Zell's bouncing began to take on his distinctive battle-stance.

"You guys don't look all that dangerous," the Esthar guard said mildly. "Not like that first guy, anyway. Whew! Now he looks like bad news..."

They all glanced at each other, then toward the building entrance where Squall's black-leather clad figure was just disappearing through the door. They shrugged almost in unison.

"Must be the 'tude," Zell said, shaking his head. "'Cause Squall's sure got one today."

"Yes, he does," Quistis said, glancing back at Irvine and Selphie with a significant frown. "Let's go." And she took off toward the building at a brisk walk. Zell rolled his eyes at her retreating back then patted Angelo on the head. Selphie leaned over and patted Angelo too.

"Hey, boy, let's go find your mistress, huh?" Selphie said brightly, making Angelo yip at her eagerly. She took off at a jog, the dog at her side. Irvine was starting to worry about her. She was clearly putting on a cheerful front right now, Squall's coldness apparently affecting her as much as it had affected him.

He and Zell started toward the building at a slower pace. Zell fidgeted then shot him an accusing glance. His usual half-goofy expression gone suddenly grim.

"Thought you two were gonna take good care of him," the martial artist said. "You guys have a fight?"

"Stay out of it, Zell," Irvine shot back. "Didn't Selphie ream you already for buttin' in?"

"Hell yes!" Zell rolled his eyes dramatically. "But I didn't blow it in front of Quistis, did I? She still thinks Squall's got a thing for Rinoa."

"I know."

Zell frowned darkly, head lowered. His steps lagged, then finally came to a stop. Irvine stopped too, sensing something important coming. Zell was his battle companion, a loud-mouth and a bit of a thick-headed idiot at times, but he was also a friend. And he'd helped cover for them the best he could. He owed him a listen, at least.

"Y'know, I should think you guys are sick an' all, the two of you takin' on Squall," Zell said, kicking at a crack in the concrete, gloved hands shoved into the pockets of his baggy knee-length shorts. The doors of the Lunar Gate were still a few yards away. Irvine could see Selphie inside through the glass, watching them. Quistis had noticed them lagging behind too and waved them in impatiently. He couldn't spot Squall inside, but it looked like Matron might be in there too.

"But I don't," Zell went on, grabbing his full attention again. "I think it's kinda good now, him havin' something wild like that to keep him distracted. 'Cause something's been buggin' me…"

"Yeah?" Irvine prompted when Zell just trailed off, fidgeting uncomfortably. Wishing Zell would get to the point so he could go inside and be with Selphie. He had the feeling she was needing him.

"It's about Rinoa. When she fell off the side of the Quad, she was crying like a baby."

"So?" Irvine prompted him again when Zell fell silent, impatience leavened with genuine curiosity. Zell had been one of Rinoa's prime supporters in her ongoing campaign to win over Squall. Zell's seemingly easy acceptance of his and Selphie's unusual move on their Commander had puzzled him a bit.

Zell looked up at him sideways, gaze concerned, frowning as he looked for some kind of reassurance, maybe. Irvine just frowned back at him, still lost.

"There wasn't any time to talk to anyone about it durin' the battle with Galbadia and then with us huntin' down the Sorceress and all. Squall made her stay behind. And then after, Rinoa was in a coma and it felt kinda petty to bring it up, Squall bein' so ripped up about it and feelin' responsible and all." He went silent again, frowning darkly and shifting nervously on his feet.

Irvine's irritation was growing. "Zell, c'mon. They're waitin' on us."

"But I've been thinking this might be more important than I thought."

"What, for Ifrit's sake?"

Zell took a deep breath. "She was callin' somebody's name when she was hangin' there - and it wasn't Squall's."

Irvine's gaze sharpened and he frowned at Zell, mind churning. Then the light dawned.

"Fuck! You mean…?"

Zell nodded, frowning just as grimly as Irvine.

"I thought maybe she was just bitchin' him out for attacking us, but after thinking about it, it really sounded more like begging. That's why I wanted to talk to someone about it. Especially after she helped him escape and all."

"Zell, you should have. Squall needs to know this," Irvine glowered.

Zell flushed, looking defensive. "Hey! She can't do any harm in a coma! And I'm tryin' not to be such a blabbermouth, okay?"

Irvine shook his head in disgust and grabbed Zell's jacket at the shoulder, hustling him along toward the doors, the shorter boy practically skipping to keep up with his longer strides.

"You're going to tell him right now."

"Me?!"

"Hell Fire, yes, you," Irvine snarled, shooting him a dark look, fighting back his apprehension. What would this news do to Squall? But all personal issues aside, it was something the Commander should know. "This was a hell of a time to learn discretion, Zell!"

He saw them enter the complex at last. Irvine and Zell. He wondered briefly what they'd been discussing to make them both look so grim, but his attention was focused on the pleasantly smiling woman barring his way. Did Esthar public servants undergo special training somewhere on ways to be so irritatingly polite?

"Is your group is all assembled now?" this particular cheerful drone was saying to him. "When you are ready, you can go inside."

"We're ready. Where's Rinoa?" he snapped. He heard the others walk up behind him. Including Matron, who had been waiting for them here.

The woman just smiled at him and gestured for him to walk past her into the inner room.

"Hey… um, Squall?" Zell called to him. He chopped his hand back at the martial artist for silence, not even turning to glare at him. Focused on his goal. He followed the woman's pointing hand inside. There was a brief commotion behind him as the Lunar Gate personnel objected to Angelo's presence in the inner rooms. He let the others handle it. He didn't give a damn about the dog anyway.

Inside, a man in a white lab coat waited. He looked like he might actually be someone in charge. This inner room was filled with huge pipes and hissing power systems. As well as a strangely designed elevator shaft. The whole thing was an imposing technological marvel. But he had no attention for it, either.

"Are you the ones taking off?" the man said to him. Squall stopped in front of him, folding his arms over his chest to keep from reaching toward the man and shaking him.

"Are you sending us to where Ellone is?" Squall asked.

The man just smiled at him pleasantly and Squall ground his teeth in irritation. "This is the preparation chamber where we put you in cold sleep for the trip to Lunarside Station. Then we load the transit capsules into the booster and launch you into a shallow orbit. They catch you and bring you into the station. It's easy and fairly safe. You'll sleep the whole way and they'll wake you on Lunarside."

"Lunarside? You mean space?" Squall frowned. The man nodded at him, apparently pleased by his quick comprehension.

"I won't say there isn't any risk involved, but we've been doing this for seventeen years now and our safety record is perfect. We just sent the inspection team up again yesterday. Are you the SeeD Commander? The President's Aide sent along this letter of introduction for your group to the Station Commander since you're not from Esthar."

Squall nodded and the technician held out a sheet of folded paper. Squall snatched it out of his hand, skimmed it. It was exactly what the man had stated it was. He folded the letter up again and tucked it inside his coat.

"Where's Rinoa?" Squall demanded.

"Rinoa? Oh, the girl in blue has already been put into cold sleep and her capsule loaded into the boost chamber. There is room for three transit capsules in the booster," the man said, still smiling pleasantly. "Have you decided who's going up with her?"

"Hey, um, Squall, I gotta tell you something…" Zell said again, moving up closer to him. Squall pivoted and silenced him with a single sharp look. Zell gulped and took a half-step back. Squall glanced around at his companions, studying them all carefully. Zell was still looking anxious and concerned. And he just didn't want to hear whatever it was he felt he needed to tell him right that moment - not if he'd been talking to Irvine only moments ago. Quistis was frowning around too, her attention split between Matron and the room. Matron herself was watching him from calm eyes, a faintly concerned look on her face. She was still dressed in the flowing gown and elaborate jewels she'd worn in Galbadia as the Sorceress, just as she'd been on the trip to Esthar. A reminder to all of them of what Ultimecia could still make her do.

He skimmed his gaze quickly over Selphie and Irvine. She was biting her lower lip anxiously, her eyes filled with warm concern while Irvine was frowning back at him in irritation. Clearly annoyed with him over his distant attitude. Both of them were now so familiar, so precious, he could remember exactly… no, he wouldn't go there. He had his duty. He stifled his thoughts and tried to deny the little skip his heart did over each of them. Damn it. He didn't want to worry about them... he couldn't afford to be worried about them. They'd be much safer down here.

"I'm going," Squall said sharply. The technician nodded and made some notations on the console beside him. Equipment began to hum in the background.

"Who's the third member of your party then, sir?"

Matron stirred, her elegant head lifting. "Something must still be done to suppress my powers, Squall," she said quietly.

"What did Odine say?" Squall snapped, impatient to be on his way now that he'd stated his intent.

"That he would look into my case," she said quietly. "I am to return to his lab immediately after you launch. I am afraid I insisted on accompanying Rinoa here against his wishes, but I didn't think you wanted her left alone."

He frowned at her, vaguely disturbed by her admission without knowing why. Ellone was waiting for them at their destination. Ellone. His gaze narrowed as he looked at Matron until Irvine cleared his throat, distracting him.

Squall shot him a hostile glare. Matron - something bothered him there. And Irvine… he looked fleetingly into amber eyes, remembering the fire of his touch and fighting the nagging urge to relent. He couldn't let himself be distracted any more. No matter how much it tore at him. Even though a part of him craved a touch, a kiss… something to take with him. But he wouldn't ask - couldn't ask. He had to keep going. Stand by his duty.

"Squall, Zell's got something kinda important…" Irvine began, his own gaze heating.

"Zell," Squall interrupted him, transferring his glare to the martial artist. "You're Matron's escort. Keep an eye on her until Odine clears her."

"Hey! She's not a criminal you know!" Zell said, bouncing indignantly.

"She's still the best conduit for Ultimecia, Zell," Squall said sharply, irritation snapping free. What was Zell's problem? Didn't he remember that Matron was a full Sorceress? That not so very long ago, under Ultimecia's control, she'd been trying to kill them all?

Matron put a calming hand on Zell's arm. "Squall is correct. The doctor gave me an inhibitor to wear, but it is largely untested and I would prefer you by my side, Zell. It would give me a sense of security."

Zell shot her a cocky grin, instantly mollified, bouncing and shadow-boxing the air in front of him eagerly, "OHH YEAHH!! I'll do whatever it takes to watch over you, Matron. Don't worry about a thing!"

Irvine was watching him darkly from under his lowered hat brim. The tall Galbadian clearly knew he was avoiding talking to Zell, just as he knew he was working hard to avoid dealing with them as well. Selphie had a bewildered and concerned look on her face. Almost hurt. He looked away from her deliberately. He couldn't afford to let her get to him now.

"Quistis, you're the third," Squall said, spinning around abruptly to face the technician. Turning his back on them all.

"Alright," he heard as Quistis's calm reply. The technician made more entries on his console, then gestured them both forward. Quistis stepped up to his side, glancing at him once, her expression mildly puzzled. She'd picked up on the strange tension between them all, but obviously didn't understand it's source.

"Hey!" Selphie chimed in, her voice wavering slightly. Squall didn't turn. Couldn't turn to look at her.

"You and Irvine back Zell up," he said sharply. "You're needed down here. Matron needs you."

"Squall…"

"Those are my orders."

He risked a look then, his gaze hard. She was standing forlornly in the middle of the huge chamber, hands clasped in front of her, her eyes wide and dark with hurt feelings. As he watched, Irvine moved up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, soothing her. But they were together. As it should be. Just the two of them. Longing shot through him like pain. He wanted…

He turned away without another word, following Quistis to the strange elevator thing he'd noticed earlier. Inside was a bullet-shaped capsule resting inside the clear tube. It was heavily padded all around like a crash seat. She climbed inside carefully and the door closed, sealing her in. Steam and gasses vented loudly from around it as the tube hissed and spit, apparently putting her into this cold sleep. There was a rising whoosh and the capsule disappeared. Another rose up from below, hatch opening for him.

"Squall, damn it!" Irvine's angry cry made him hesitate for an instant, but he covered well, bracing his hands against the hatchway as he stepped inside the capsule. Running. He was running away from them, he knew. But this was his duty. To save Rinoa. And find Ellone. And maybe get answers that could save them all.

The door closed in front of him, sealing him in darkness. Then faint red lights came on.

An interior display panel lit up. Cold Sleep Process Initializing, it read.

Then there was a sharp hiss, and he knew no more.

Irvine stood beside Selphie, hands clasped in hers as much for reassurance as to reassure, while they both stared bleakly at the hissing, steaming tube that had swallowed Squall without a trace only minutes ago. Machinery hummed, powering up. The capsule had been whisked away up the tubes into the heart of the machine above. Huge cylinders thumped as they shifted heavily from position to position. Aligning. Preparing.

He'd asked the Esthar tech what was going on. He wasn't sure if the explanation had reassured him or not. The technicians of Lunar Gate had just frozen him. Put him in cold sleep and packed him into an individual, shielded life-support capsule.

And now they were going to shoot him into orbit like a bullet from a gun. Into outer space.

"All capsules are in place. Conditions inside the capsules are normal."

"Lifesupport status is go."

Warning horns sounded. People in the pastel uniforms of Esthar bustled around with quiet competence. It soothed him, a little, to watch them, so busy and focused on their jobs. Calming some of his concern for Squall.

"Boosters on stand-by. All systems normal."

"Charging launch system. Optimal output in 60 seconds."

"Affirmative."

Squall was going to space with Rinoa… and Quistis. Only three transport pods could be launched at once, apparently. And it took a great deal of time to re-set the system, the tech had said. So only those three would go to Lunarside Station where the magical theorists would study Rinoa's strange disorder and try to discover a cure for her. Or at least, determine what was wrong with her. No one had mentioned what they would do with her if they couldn't figure it out…

Irvine shifted uneasily, still stung that Squall had picked Quistis to go with him. Not Selphie. Not him.

"Launch error correction 2; orbial correction minus 1. Corrections complete."

"Targeting is clear for launch, Control."

He was going into space for Rinoa. To find a way to fulfil the promise he'd made to her and to all the others who cared about her. A promise they'd pledged to help him keep. But things were moving much too fast. Information had come to light that might change all that. Yet Squall had refused to listen.

So now they were stuck behind. Watching him leave. His heart was heavy in his chest, an odd sense of forboding gripping him. Selphie seemed to share his mood; her hand tightened around his, her eyes wide and glassy as she stared at the mind-boggling array of equipment and displays around them, uncharacteristically silent. It seemed too much for her; the very concept of going into space at all. And now Squall was going up there. Without either of them to watch over him.

"Station Two?"

"Station Two, verifying downrange status."

He tightened his hold on Selphie, taking heart from the feel of her, giving her what support he could when he felt so uncertain himself. How had Squall become so vital to them both in so short a time? He was more than just their commander, their friend, or even their diversion. He was needy. He was sexy. He was introverted. He was…

"Downrange preparations complete. Station Two is go."

…infuriating. That last look…

He glanced over at the others, wondering how much they'd noticed. Zell was standing silently beside Matron, her appointed guardian and watcher. No doubt relieved he hadn't had to tell Squall his alarming news. Matron also stood silently, her elegant head bowed, no reaction visible on her calm face. No reaction, and no condemnation either.

"Control, all stations report clear."

Irvine remembered her from before, from the days of blissful childhood by the sea, far better than any of the others did. Remembered her as a warm, loving, caring woman. The gentlest of souls, but also wise and firm with them as they'd so badly needed as frightened, lonely children. He remembered too, the fateful day she had changed and the scattering had begun. That bleak day when the happy times in the stone house by the lighthouse ended…

"Confirmed. Thirty seconds to optimum."

Matron lifted her head, turned to look at him. Almost as if she'd heard him call her name. He met her gaze steadily.

And suddenly he remembered the grim man in black who had come out of a storm… with tragedy like the wings of crows trailing behind him… and a scar on his face… bringing fear and grief to the house by the sea… His memories blurred, merging with the present…

He knew him, Irvine realized suddenly... then he was drowning in Matron's colorless eyes… had always known him… his heart ached with the remembered pain of separation… and the bite of fresh… and he was wishing once more, hot and fierce, that the burden of memory wasn't his to bear. Except it had given him his Seffie back… and maybe… just maybe, opened up something more as well…

Matron's gaze seared him. Wise. Sad. Knowing.

"Twenty seconds to launch. Load boosters."

Irvine blinked and looked away as air hissed loudly through great pistons again, lifting the cylinders to launch postion. Locking them into place with heavy thumps. Selphie gripped him tighter. Trying to be brave. They all stared up at the brightly colored display that showed simple line images of what was happening in the great machinery all around them. The three capsules now loaded like bullets into the chamber of a gun. But one that would fire all three at once.

"Ten seconds… nine… eight… seven… six… power at 98%… four… three… 99%… one… we are go for launch."

Launch. The building shivered around them.

Selphie turned and slipped her arms around him, under his coat, abandoning all pretense of fortitude as she hugged him close. She shivered as she watched the blinking marks that represented their friends disappear up the great arch of the machine, then out into space above. Into a desolate place they could only barely imagine…

"Oh, Irvine, do you think he'll be okay?" she asked softly. He looked down at her. She was still staring at the board, gaze fixed on the indicator that flashed 'launch complete' below the huge screen. It was all up to the other end now… to catch the hurtling cylinders as they sped into orbit and bring them in to the station above. A station none of them had even realized existed, until today. But the Esthar technicians had been quick to reassure them that they did this all the time. It was routine. Safe.

"He's too stubborn to be otherwise," he said grimly. "I just hope somebody up there can figure out what's going on with Rinoa."

"And send him back safe."

Irvine bent down and pressed his lips to her forehead. Holding her close. Savoring the feel of her in his arms. Aware of Matron's guarded gaze on them the while.

"Yeah, and send him back safe."

- - to be continued - -