Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Living with Heart ❯ Living with Heart ( Chapter 14 )

Living with

Heart Act XIII

The sun was setting on what felt like their last day together. Laguna had driven out with Squall to the middle of nowhere, which happened to be around ninety miles from the city's border.

It wasn't the clearest sunset, but the clouds played with the light in such a manner that more than made up for it. Orange and pink hues colored the horizon, and deeper reds appeared closer to the sun as it descended.

After they simply sat and watched the sky for several minutes, Squall couldn't help but ask, “Is this why you wanted to come out here?” While he had enjoyed the ride, it seemed like the President had some agenda behind their little trip.

Laguna glanced at Squall. Steely blue eyes reflected the fiery sky and chestnut hair was matted in damp tendrils from the helmet. In realization that his own hair must be in a similar state, he reached back and pulled it out from its bind. As long raven strands fell loose, a welcome breeze picked up.

The President had brought Squall out there to talk about the issues that would arise the next few weeks. The knowledge that they were indeed being watched via satellite kept him from touching Squall too intimately, which was a good thing when he felt that he might lose control if the brunet so much as smiled his way. The ride had settled them both down, creating a better mood to discuss everything.

“Until you turn eighteen, we can't do anything inappropriate,” Laguna stated firmly, hating how the matter was not open for any debate.

Squall didn't show any outward sign of having heard the older man. Staring straight ahead, his eyes seemed unaffected by the bright rays of the sun. “I figured as much,” he replied at length.

“Quistis Trepe will be waiting for you when we get back,” Laguna said as if he were admitting some terrible lie he'd told.

“What?” Squall asked incredulously.

“She called shortly before we left. I wanted time with you alone. I'm sorry.”

Squall shook his head. The stinging irony was that in Esthar he had no authority to demand to be informed of anything. Part of what he'd run away from was his lack of control that he'd tasted as Commander. Now, he'd run toward a haven that held the same problem.

“I should have told you, but I thought we should talk first.”

“We can talk anywhere,” the brunet pointed out.

Hurriedly, Laguna agreed, “I know.”

“What did you want to talk about?” Squall questioned evenly, not quite managing to keep the icy tone out of his voice.

Brows drawing together in concern, Laguna reached out to the young man but retracted his hand. “It's going to kill me, not being able to touch you,” the President declared with a forlorn sigh.

Focus turning for the first time, Squall's eyes glanced sidelong at the older man. “You can still touch me,” he mumbled.

Smiling weakly, Laguna met Squall's gaze. “Kiros thinks anything is too risky. We can't seem out of place. With Quistis here, she'll know what is different about you better than anyone. If I remember correctly, she was the one who proclaimed to being an expert in `Squall watching'.”

Squall pinched the bridge of his nose with gloved fingers. “She said that to you?”

“Only when I asked if you were always so cold,” the President said with a chuckle. “I'd say I'm the more knowledgeable one now.” After a moment, hazel green eyes widened. “You've never… with her…”

Sadly, Squall shook his head. Of course it'd be likely that he slept with half of Garden, even if that wasn't nearly the case. “I've never slept with any of my friends,” he stated, a slight hitch forming as Seifer's face danced in his head. However, he didn't outwardly admit to being friends with Seifer, though that was sort of a cheap cop out.

“What about Seifer?” Laguna blurted out in question, unable to contain the words as the alarming thought came to mind.

Squall winced visibly, failing to catch himself in time. “I didn't just go around having sex with everyone,” he bit out tersely, not really taking offense but becoming a little defensive.

Laguna saw through it, momentarily sorry for asking, but then realizing that the brunet had dodged his question. “Is that a yes or a no?”

“…” Squall stared resolutely towards the dusk sky along the horizon.

“Squall,” Laguna pressed. Uncaring for who was watching, he reached out and grabbed the boy's shoulder. The narrow shape wasn't quite so noticeable through the bomber jacket.

The former Commander snapped, “What?” Jerking away from the touch, he expressed his dislike for the subject they were on.

“Did you ever sleep with Seifer Almasy?” Laguna reiterated his question.

“Yes,” Squall finally hissed. Crossing his arms, he forced himself not to look at the older man.

Laguna knew it shouldn't have mattered, but somehow it did. Angrily, he asked, “Why would Cid have you sleep with him?”

“What exactly do you want me to say?” the brunet hissed.

“I want the truth.”

“The truth?” Squall remarked with a scoff. “The truth is that Seifer is the only person I slept with of my own free will.” After a moment, he added, “Before I came here.”

Laguna stared at the boy's profile for several long moments. Swallowing thickly, he pressed, “Did you sleep with him when he came here?”

Squall managed to hide his reaction, more prepared for it this time. “What does this have to do with us not being able to sleep together for the next three weeks?”

“Nothing, but I'm asking anyway. Please, Squall, tell me the truth.”

Sighing, Squall continued to stare off. What was it with this man and truth? As if the world could be made perfect if everyone told the truth. “We fucked a bit while he was here, yeah.”

Laguna stared in anguish, finding that the conformation of his suspicions hurt more than he could have anticipated. “Do you love him?” the President asked. As stormy blue eyes gazed at him, he quickly asserted, “Wait. Never mind, don't tell me.”

Squall suddenly realized just how fragile Laguna was in some ways. What the President stood for as a leader was what made the man's true moral fiber. Truth and justice were important qualities for Laguna. However, sometimes receiving truth and justice meant there were consequences. He'd have to be careful with the older man, whose heart was worn vulnerably on a sleeve.

“Laguna,” Squall said. “I've never been in love with anyone before you. Seifer was a fuck buddy, nothing more.”

Hazel green eyes stared in a pleading manner, as if begging for the brunet's words to be true.

Squall stood up and slung a leather-clad leg over his bike. Slipping into place before Laguna could protest, he sat before the President as he straddled the man's bike backwards.

Wrapping his arms around the raven-haired man, Squall settled in without care for any human or mechanical eyes that might be watching. With his head pressed against the President's shoulder, he muttered, “I'll miss this.”

Eyes closing as if in great pleasure, Laguna returned the hug fiercely. He wanted to kiss the boy so badly, but he knew he couldn't. Instead, he tightened his hold and twined his fingers in damps locks of soft chestnut hair.

“I'm the only one you love,” Laguna murmured in self-assurance.

Squall parted his lips to respond, but his words came out quieter than wanted. “Because you're the only one to loves me.”

Laguna wasn't sure he heard correctly, but in case he had, he squeezed tighter, threatening to cause the boy harm.

Quistis sat straight in a composed manner as she slowly passed the time waiting for Squall to show up. Her crystal blue eyes scanned the pages of each report she'd brought with herself on the chance that it would take longer than anticipated to retrieve the younger SeeD.

She'd been mildly surprised to hear that Squall was out riding with Laguna. She'd always been under the impression that motorcycles had been Seifer's passing fancy and that Squall had just been in it for the rivalry.

It was also rather odd that her former Commander could stand to be alone with the President for hours on end. Then again, with all the changes in Squall lately, perhaps this was another change. Maybe Squall was finally admitting the importance of family, be they blood related or not. It would certainly be a bigger step towards normalcy, at least normal for mercenary standards. Though, she highly doubted such a thing to be the case.

It was a beautiful day, though the lag in time threw her senses off. It should have been around ten o'clock at night back in Balamb, but the sun was just setting in Esthar. Given that she'd be up all night, this assignment wasn't exactly thrilling for her.

Heaving a sigh, she took her glasses off before running a hand over her tired eyes. Folding her hands on the round table, she glanced around the veranda and landscaped gardens nearby. The Loire Estate was beautiful in every respect. She had a nice view of the setting sun and sky, though oddly colored trees kept her from watching it descend all the way to the horizon.

“Is there anything else you'd care for Miss Trepe?” Harold Portier questioned with a bright smile. Stepping up beside her, he stood at the ready.

“No thank you,” Quistis replied with a grateful smile to the oddly dressed butler. “The coffee was just what I needed.” She cast a glance to the empty cup that she'd pushed aside to make room for her files.

“The master and young master will not be returning for several hours yet, perhaps a bit of dinner would be in order.”

“Several hours?” the blonde SeeD questioned with dismay.

“They ride out quite far, and I'm afraid they were unaware of your arrival in time for their departure.” Harold was fibbing of course, having given the message to the President himself. However, at the kind leader's exasperation and quick rush to go out to the junkyard, he assumed it was for lengthened time with his son.

“I see,” Quistis said, her eyes scanning her papers in a calculating manner. “Then dinner would be nice. If I can help-”

The old man tutted in light reprimand. “You are a guest here Miss Trepe. We have a chef on hand, so it is no trouble at all. I'll have something brought to you. Do you have any requests?”

Falling silent, Quistis thought about it for a moment. She was not used to such treatment. Being in Esthar, she might as well try some of the country's foreign cuisine. The last time she'd been there, there wasn't much time to go about dining in fine restaurants.

“I'm interested in trying anything Estharian,” she answered.

Harold smiled widely at this. “Wonderful,” he declared. “I'll have something for you within the hour. Would you prefer to stay here? The sun will be setting soon, and nights in Esthar can become chilly.”

“Out here is fine,” she assured. She generally wasn't affected by the weather.

The motley pair arrived shortly after Quistis had finished her dinner, which felt more like a midnight snack to her given the time her body was on.

It was too dark to read, so she sat and gazed at the night sky, searching for the first stars.

“Quistis,” Squall greeted, even though he knew his approach could be heard.

Standing immediately, the blonde instructor turned. Her gaze swept up and down Squall's usual manner of dress. She wondered how the brunet was able to be outside in the sun for so long in black leather pants and bomber jacket.

Striding forward, she met Squall before he came to her completely. Forgetting her sense of strict formal conduct, she gave the younger man a hug. “I don't think I've gone this long without at least seeing you walk by in the halls.”

Awkwardly, Squall returned the gesture.

As Quistis pulled away, she glanced at the approaching President. It was odd to see the older man wearing jeans, but it would have been even more out of place if it had been leather pants. For riding a motorcycle, thick material that was comfortable was needed, which explained the informal dress of the President.

Laguna sidled up to Squall, having just spoken with Harold to arrange dinner for himself and the brunet.

“President Loire,” Quistis greeted while extending her hand.

“Call me Laguna, please,” the older man requested. Bypassing the handshake, he gave the young woman a firm hug. He welcomed the rule-abiding woman despite the precarious situation. She'd been given orders and didn't know about everything that had gone on, so he couldn't hold it against her.

“Laguna then,” the blonde said with a small smile. She'd half expected such a warm greeting from the older man, knowing his tendency to go around hugging members of parliament even during formal meetings.

Lying wasn't exactly Laguna's forte, which made it extremely difficult for him to speak as if he didn't know why the woman was there.

“Is this about Seifer and Rinoa?” Squall questioned, taking the lead easily. He was quite used to lying, even to his friends.

“About that,” the Head Instructor said in a huff. “I've got a few bones to pick you Squall Leonhart.”

Squall raised an eyebrow. When he was Commander, the older woman wouldn't have dared to take a tone that implied she stood on a higher level.

“Oh don't give me that look. We're not on the clock right now.”

Squall couldn't help the icy nature of his gaze as he stared at her. Taking control, he moved forward and gestured that they should sit. “You can talk, but I'll decide what I answer.”

Bristling uncomfortably, Quistis followed. She hadn't meant to cause him to raise his guard. Now it was probably pointless to ask him anything. “I didn't mean to imply anything,” she asserted in an attempt to rectify her mistake.

“It's fine,” the former Commander commented.

Laguna took a seat at the round table, settling in beside Squall.

“I suppose I should firstly say that I'm here to bring you back. I can't really say why Cid didn't just call, but he wanted me to come.”

Lips pressed tightly together, Squall considered this. He'd made himself unreachable except for in person, which he knew to be the reason why the Headmaster had sent someone. “I'm not returning,” he stated simply.

“Squall,” Quistis said in reprimand. “You haven't sent back any reports, not even the collection of strategic plays that should have been done a week ago. You haven't called, and no one could call you.”

“I have the work done, if you'd like it,” the brunet commented.

“Then why didn't you send it?” the blonde pressed with concern. Something was going on, but she couldn't figure it out.

“When I came here, I was off duty. You'll have to excuse me for being a bit lazy.”

Expression softening, Quistis gazed at the pale brunet. “I understand. I can explain it all to Cid. He'll understand too I'm sure. But, everyone needs to get back to active duty at some point. The war is over, and we must go on with our lives.”

“I agree,” Squall stated solemnly, crossing his arms.

Feeling that she was getting somewhere, the instructor smiled softly. “I didn't want to be the one to come here, at least not bringing the news I have.” Turning her focus to the President, she continued, “Cid received the legal documents for your request of guardianship. I'm afraid he isn't exactly compliant.”

Stirring at these words, Laguna sat forward and stared at the young woman intently. “I'm his father, I have the right for guardianship.”

“I'm sorry, but I don't know the reasoning behind any of this and it's not my place to become involved.” As much as she wanted to know what was going on, this really wasn't her business. Even if she'd been sent to Esthar and consequently become involved in some way, she was just following orders.

“I'm not returning,” Squall stated again. Elaborating his meaning, he added, “I'm leaving Garden and SeeD. I'm staying in Esthar, with my father.”

Shocked into silence, it was a few moments before Quistis was capable of speech. “What?” she blurted out incredulously. Squall leaving Garden was not even fathomable to her. “Why?” she asked.

Laguna felt like explaining all the many reasons why Squall was leaving, but he kept silent.

“Because I've chosen to do so,” he answered vaguely.

“Squall,” Quistis placated. “I've known you since you were a little boy. SeeD is your life. It's all you've ever worked for. You worked tirelessly to become such a good fighter, to become the best mercenary we have, not to mention one of only two master gunbladists in the entire world. Why would you throw all that away?”

“This is what I've chosen,” the brunet stated once more.

Leaning forward, Quistis gazed with a tirade of emotions in her eyes. She was confused, shocked, and worried all at once. “What's going on? Is this because Xu was made Commander in your stead?”

Squall couldn't help but give a dry chuckle, amused that she would insinuate such a childish reason. He'd enjoyed the control he had as Commander, but only for the fact that he was given free rein to fight as often as he wanted. The responsibility was never something he enjoyed, and for that he was partly glad the title had been taken away.

“Well then what is it?” the instructor demanded, taking his chuckling as an answer to the contrary. Her desperation wasn't born of failing to complete her orders, but worry. She'd watched over Squall for so long, like a little brother.

“He wants to be with me,” Laguna interjected firmly. “The war is over and after all these years, it's time for it.”

Momentarily forgetting that she was speaking to the President of an entire nation, she questioned harshly, “Time for what?”

“Time for reconciliation,” the President answered with shifting eyes.

“Reconciliation doesn't mean you have to throw your life away,” she affirmed logically.

“It's odd how Headmaster Kramer has guardianship over Squall in the first place isn't it?” Laguna questioned with an angry glare at the table. “Why do you suppose he won't let me be Squall's guardian when I'm his biological father?”

“Laguna,” Squall said in a near hiss of reprimand. “It's cold out here, let's eat inside.”

Suddenly sorry for his words, the President gazed at his son apologetically. “Yes, I'm sure it'll be ready shortly.

“Wait,” Quistis said as the two men began to stir from their seats. “What do you mean by that?”

Clenching his jaw, Laguna fought urge to be honest. “I'm just upset over it all. Becoming Squall's guardian is what we both want, so to find out that I'll have to battle Headmaster Kramer for it is a bit distressing.”

“Squall,” the instructor pressed. “My orders are to bring you back before morning in Balamb. Won't you consider coming with me to explain this to Cid. If he knew that it was what you wanted, then surely this would resolve itself.”

“No,” Squall answered.

“But why? I don't understand. This is all so sudden.”

“Being SeeD is not what I want,” the brunet said as he stood up. “I'm sorry if you don't understand, but that's not my problem.”

Laguna fidgeted nervously, hurriedly following the younger man.

Exhaling in exasperation, Quistis made to follow, gathering her work up quickly. “Alright, let's say I can just accept that you want to throw away years of training and work down the drain.” Trotting to catch up, she walked abreast with Squall. “No offense President Loire, but Squall, you are not exactly the type of person who wants a dad. I know you well enough to know that you've never wanted any family, so you can't tell me that you're leaving because you want to be with Laguna.”

“I don't need a father,” Squall admitted truthfully. “I've never needed family, but now that I have someone, who's to say I don't want a father now?”

“That's not you,” she stated soundly. “I know you, and family is not what you want. You can hardly stand having me or everyone else as friends. From Ellone's dreams, you came to dislike Laguna, no offense again sir.”

Laguna grumbled to himself, “That was before he got to know me.”

Squall gave a very small and fleeting smile, finding Laguna's grumbling to be rather cute in its pouting manner. “Twenty years ago the President was a different man. I find his odd nature much more tolerable now.”

“Odd?” Laguna questioned. “I'm not odd.”

“You are,” Squall returned.

“Well you're morbid and don't talk a lot,” the President shot back in childish banter, a small grin giving away his joking manner.

“What do you want me to tell the Headmaster?” Quistis asked as she keenly eyed Squall's softened expression.

“Whatever,” Squall said with a dismissive shrug.

“I can't very well go back empty handed.”

“There are plenty of rooms here, feel free to stay a while,” the President suggested.

Confused above all else, Quistis had accepted the offer of a room, at least for a night. She paced the room she'd been shown to while she churned everything over in her head.

Realizing that she needed to call the Headmaster, she hastily sought her phone.

Flipping it open, she continued to pace restlessly. Something about this whole situation didn't sit well with her and she could figure out what.

“Headmaster,” she spoke softly. “I'm sorry to disturb you.”

“It's fine, are you on your way back? Let me speak with Squall,” the voice on the other end said with a stifled yawn.

“Sir, I'm afraid he refuses to return. Squall says that he's leaving Garden.”

“What!” the Headmaster cried incredulously.

“I don't understand, but he says he doesn't want to be SeeD anymore. He wants to stay in Esthar, with President Loire.”

“Bring him back,” Cid ordered harshly.

Silent for a long moment, Quistis wasn't sure what she was being ordered to do. “He refuses to come back.”

“Then I'll send reinforcements. By law I have the right to bring him back here.”

Disbelieving, Quistis' steps faltered. Stopping completely, she said, “Squall is old enough to make this decision.”

“You're supporting him? Perhaps I was mistaken in sending you. Come back immediately, I'm assigning someone who isn't emotionally affected.”

“Sir,” the Head Instructor protested. She'd never been taken off an assignment and found the threat of it most shameful. She prided herself on being capable of separating personal matters from work. “Give me more time, maybe I can talk him into it.”

“No,” Cid affirmed, “I want him back here as quickly as possible.”

“But why? What is so imperative that Squall needs to take care of?”

“Instructor Trepe, I will not explain my every action to you. You are SeeD, you follow the orders given to you.”

“Yes sir,” Quistis affirmed with growing dread in the pit of her stomach. Something was definitely going on.

“I'll expect you back in my office by morning.”

Hesitantly, the blonde instructor agreed. When the line went dead on the Headmaster's end, she flipped her phone shut. Losing her composure for a moment she cursed and frantically ran a hand through her hair, which caused several strands to become displaced.

She was suddenly torn inside. Her loyalties felt misplaced, but she had no reasons for it. Cid was acting weird. He was being controlling and frantic, not at all like usual. And Squall seemed to be running away from something, which was almost an impossible scenario. Given that Cid seemed to be chasing after her former Commander, she had an inkling of whom Squall was running from, though not what.

But, for all her deduction, there was no logic to back it up. She was above all else a very logical person, basing every action on sound fact. She had a gut instinct that something was awry. She also harbored a fierce sense of loyalty to the young SeeD who had been her Commander and seen her through the darkest of times.

Knowing she had scarce time to think, needing to call Selphie and have the pilot pick her up, she made that call with many apologies for the odd hour.

With Ragnarok on the way, she left her rooms in search of Squall. The least she could do was to warn the boy that Cid had a mind to send soldiers to force him to return.

TBC…