Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Living with Heart ❯ Living with Heart ( Chapter 20 )

Living with Heart

Act XIX

Squall stood in Headmaster's office, arms crossed as he leaned to one side with an air of indifference. No emotion breached his icy mask as he gazed at the Headmaster. His usual garb of leather pants with multiple belts and Lionheart holstered at his hip served to enhance the feeling that he were prepared for a sort of battle.

“What is this?” Cid questioned, feeling uneasy under the sharp gaze of steely blue eyes. Leaning back in his seat, he pointedly glanced at the duffel bag idly resting beside the stubbornly defiant boy.

“I'm leaving,” Squall stated evenly.

Fear passed through the older man's eyes before all else, knowing the calculating young man wouldn't dare to leave unless there was some form of leverage against himself. Swallowing, he assumed a less telltale expression and stood up.

Impatient, Squall reached inside his worn leather jacket and extracted an unmarked manila envelope. Skillfully tossing the packet onto the meticulously organized desk, he almost smiled at the way Cid flinched. It was always nice to know he could still intimidate people, especially when he recalled that this particular person had slapped him recently.

Hesitantly, Cid picked the envelope up, afraid to see its contents. “I could still show them,” he threatened as he slowly unwound the sealing string.

“…” Squall just waited. When the Headmaster peered inside and seemed to blanch, he assured, “Obviously you'd go down with me.”

Jaw clenching, Cid let the collection of pictures slide back in the envelope before letting it drop back to his desk. “What exactly do you want?”

“Nothing,” the brunet informed tersely. Reaching down to retrieve his bag, he stood and turned to leave while settling the strap over his shoulder.

“Wait!” Cid yelled after the retreating boy.

Squall didn't stop until he heard the sound of what he thought to be the penholder hitting the wall. Eyebrows raised, he turned around to cast the man a questioning glance.

“What the hell is in Esthar for you? Are you seriously this intent on turning your back on Garden? I raised you!”

Eyes narrowing, Squall reminded, “You used me.”

“You never objected!” the Headmaster raged, his anger overtaking any need for appearances.

With a nod, Squall conceded that his lack of refusal was indeed true. “I'm objecting now,” he informed.

Shoulders sagging, Cid stared at the floor for a long moment. “How can you ruin this administration?” he questioned.

Shifting to adjust the strap of his bag, Squall rolled his eyes. “I have no plans to expose anything or anyone. I've said it from the beginning, I'd rather the past become buried.”

“Such a liability is unacceptable,” Cid stated.

“And yet you have no choice,” Squall shot back, a bit of his annoyance leaking through.

“Who helped you?” the older man questioned, head snapping up in realization that the boy must have had allies. “I find it very difficult to believe Mr. Almasy would have played a part in any of this.”

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Squall shook his head. “Almasy did nothing.”

“You stayed at his place. You were sleeping with him and made some deal,” the older man accused hotly.

Squall was mildly surprised at the Headmaster's ability to at least manage a reasonable conclusion that struck somewhere near the truth. “Seifer is one person who couldn't care less and doesn't ask questions. That is why I stayed at his place. He'd planned on seeing Rinoa anyway, and let me stay because he was grateful for having a sorceress again.”

Staring at the young man intensely, Cid tried to determine if he was being lied to. “You had help. Who was it?”

Scoffing at the man's demand while in such a disposition, Squall humored the question for the sake of alleviating suspicion from his blond rival. “A palace guard from Esthar followed me. With Esthar's resources, it's not difficult to track someone like the photographer of those pictures down.”

Glancing at his watch, Squall decided he didn't have the time or patience to neatly wrap matters up. The fact remained that Cid couldn't keep him there, which meant leaving before fate sent him some natural disaster that left him trapped. Beyond Garden being uplifted and moved to the middle of the ocean, there was little short of a massive earthquake that blocked all exits to keep him from walking out.

“Squall, wait!” Cid called out as the boy began to leave again.

In a timely manner, Squall proceeded all the way to the elevator. “What?” the brunet muttered. Though he turned to regard the Headmaster, he thumbed the down button on the panel next to the lift's doors.

“Don't go. I'm begging you,” Cid said desperately. “Please, whatever you want… if you want to be Commander again, it's yours.”

“Have you understood a single word I've said?” Squall hissed. “I don't want to be here,” he stated firmly.

“Is this about the adoption? It doesn't matter anymore, President Loire can adopt you and I swear not to interfere.”

With a ding, the elevator arrived and the doors opened smoothly. Squall stepped inside, but reached out to keep the doors from closing automatically. Despite the distance placed between them, Squall spoke lowly as he leveled the man with a dangerous glare, “No one takes my place. Run this place by the book or I'll throw my pride away.”

While Squall doubt he'd ever voluntarily offer up proof of what he'd done, consequently incriminating Cid, he might be inclined to take action if he knew someone else was acting in his stead.

As the doors closed and there was the odd tug in his stomach as he descended, Squall felt as though it had ended too easily. After nearly nine years of his life being directed for him, he felt like there should have been some epic battle to break free of the ties that still kept him there. Yet, all it took was a little blackmail. Somehow, fighting fire with fire seemed too simplistic.

The ride down was short and Squall couldn't help but feel anxious to step beyond the main gates. With one thing on his mind, he was surprised when he stepped off the enclosed lift and abruptly stumbled back after knocking into someone.

Seifer laughed, hand still held out after watching the inattentive brunet walk right into it. “Careful Leonhart,” he chastised with a smirk.

Scowling, Squall gazed upward to meet jade green eyes. “Thank you,” he mumbled quietly, awkwardly shifting in place.

Grumbling, Seifer reached out and flicked the younger man's forehead. “Idiot,” he said.

Beyond the help given to him by his rival, Squall referred to a rather awkward instance the night before when the blond had pushed him away before he could even begin to service the man.

“It's payback, you idiot,” the knight growled. “Stop giving me that look. We're not friends.”

“Asshole,” Squall bit out in parting, stepping to the side and walking past the tall blond.

Seifer let Squall get all the way to the stairs before asking, “Do you plan on walking out of here?” As the brunet turned to regard him with questioning eyes, he dangled a set of keys. “I've got some shit to take care of in town, so I might as well drive you.”

“…” Squall gave a faint nod.

“So did Cid wet himself when he saw the pictures?” the blond knight questioned with interest as they descended the open staircase in the main entry hall.

“I didn't let him say much,” Squall admitted. He imagined the Cid could have filled up the rest of his day with bargaining pleas and empty threats had he continued to stand in the Headmaster's office.

“Tch,” Seifer intoned with disapproval. “You should have had him licking your boots. You have no sense of style with these things.”

“…” Squall felt it was only natural to want to be quick and blunt about it all, and return to Esthar all the sooner. Seifer was the only person who would have drawn it out with as much boisterous and ostentatious showmanship as possible.

Green eyes scanned the fractured crowd of cadets, only a lingering few daring to not head to class when the bell would ring any minute. While not particularly wary of anyone seeing him with Leonhart, he didn't need Kramer breathing down his neck for the rest of his homestead in Balamb Garden. A transfer wasn't out of the question if the Headmaster was looking to point a finger at him, but he hated cold weather and didn't have high esteem for Galbadians after meeting the playboy Kinneas.

Squall continued to watch the ground, finding nothing of greater interest than the slightly scuffed nature of the boot on his right foot. While he vaguely wondered if he'd ever go through clothes and shoes as fast as when he sparred with Seifer on a regular basis, his thoughts were easily overcome and consumed by his father.

“Just a heads up, but you might encounter a little trouble from your do-gooder friends,” Seifer stated offhandedly.

Though his stride never faltered, Squall looked up in surprise. It was ridiculous to think he could have spent nearly three days there without anyone noticing. While he hadn't spoken with any of them, he'd hoped it had something to do with the lack of opportunity for such an exchange. Between Seifer's dorm and the training center, he'd spent perhaps a total of five hours in public view.

Before Squall could question the blond, he caught sight of what the older boy referred to. Near the secondary entrance where the cadets' badges were scanned coming and going, Irvine and Quistis stood together. Feeling his stomach had dropped, the former commander cast an uncertain glance to the knight beside him.

Humming his own displeasure, Seifer eventually settled for staying out of Leonhart's affairs after already becoming more involved than he'd have liked. As they passed the signboard with the basic campus layout, he pat the smaller man on the back. “I'll bring the car around front. I won't hesitate to leave your sorry ass after ten minutes.”

Squall didn't move when Seifer walked off for the parking garage. It was difficult to keep up appearances, especially when he'd lost so much motivation. Still, with a calm expression and well-mannered stride, he headed towards the pair. With any luck, they weren't there to yell at him, just send him off.

Unease set in when it became quite obvious that they were intent on some confrontation. He felt each individual gaze upon him. It was the first time he'd ever felt as though his mask were seen for what it was, as if they were looking to find proof that he wasn't being wholly honest.

Though choosing not to speak up, Squall glanced into the eyes of both the head instructor and sharp shooting cowboy before pointedly standing a noticeable distance apart from them.

“Welcome back,” Quistis greeted flatly.

Frowning, Squall inquired, “What's going on?”

“That's our question,” the blonde instructor returned, arms crossed as if to silently state she wouldn't let anyone pass. Sadly, it was quite apparent that her efforts were all for show. Though concerned, she was hardly willing to use force.

“I'm leaving,” Squall informed impassively. It was then that he began to feel guilt over his actions, knowing he'd regret it if he just brushed them off all together. They did mean a lot to him, but he'd rather that they hate him for who he was in their minds at that moment than find out the embarrassing truth. He had little doubt that they would only become more endeared to him for it, pitying him and lightly chastising him for never saying anything. And that was exactly what he wanted to avoid.

“You're leaving before you've even said `hello'?” Irvine drawled in disbelief. “That's just rude.”

“I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry,” Squall explained.

Hand reaching up to tilt his hat back, violet eyes pinned the former commander in place. “But not rushed enough to overlook your blooming friendship with Almasy.”

Squall was suddenly reminded of the usual air shared between himself and Seifer. Walking by the knight's side without his blade drawn would have been perceived as holding the man's hand while frolicking in a field of wildflowers. It was pointless to play dumb when they obviously knew he'd spent his time at Seifer's place and been in contact with the blond more than anyone.

Sighing heavily, Squall glanced at his watch, wondering if he could make it in ten minutes. “I had business with Seifer,” he explained. With Seifer being Rinoa's knight, it was well within reason that he would have a few matters to discuss with the arrogant bully.

“We know something is going on,” Quistis stated, reminding the younger man that she'd been the one to know of Cid's odd behavior before anyone else. While she was loath to force Squall into admitting anything, the suspicion surrounding everything had grown beyond Cid merely being reluctant to let an important mercenary leave.

Squall debated for several moments, trying to figure just what they were suspicious of. “As Head Instructor, this isn't the place to discuss anything,” he reprimanded sternly. Quistis had already gone out on a limb for him, he didn't need her or anyone else placed over fire and demoted.

“Don't brush us off,” the blonde woman urged, hoping they could move to a more private setting and talk.

“I'm not,” Squall murmured as he made to walk around them. “You can talk to me in the car.”

------

Pen tapping in rapid succession, Laguna sat brooding over his depressing predicament. He was going through progressing stages of a lover's withdrawal, currently feeling stir crazy and highly anxious. After nearly breaking his phone, he'd finally just asked that all phone calls be held unless it pertained to his son.

The unbroken silence was actually proving worse than the occasional ring that sent him jumping to pick up the receiver. Instead of the spikes in blood pressure, he was now nauseous and on the verge of an anxiety attack.

There was no possible way he could work under such circumstances. Succumbing to his weakness, he decided that he'd finish reading one last amendment bill before calling Kiros and leaving the office. He was a wreck and in no position to be running a country with sound judgment. When deciding to come in, he'd hoped his mind might find some distraction if he forced himself to become immersed in his work.

He was ashamed of his obsession and sick of being so pathetic, but it wouldn't have been so bad if he'd known Squall was back at the estate and not half way around the world with a man that had prostituted the boy. The threat of what could become of Squall again weighed heavily on his heart. He envisioned scenarios of other men touching the man he loved.

It was approaching ten o'clock when his secretary knocked on the door and brought in lidded cup of coffee. Marina Dodson was a young woman in her mid thirties and capable of overseeing the organization of not only a very busy President, but also a man who needed to be guided to meetings that were held only two doors down the hall. It helped that President Loire took no offense to constant reminders of when meetings were and the subtle nudges to finish certain tasks.

Miss Dodson couldn't help but frown as her presence went wholly unnoticed until she was standing before the President's desk. “Sir, is everything alright?” she questioned, replacing the forgotten cup of coffee on the corner of the desk. Still completely full, she was surprised that it had been untouched.

Giving a weak smile, Laguna assured, “I'm just concerned about my son.”

The President's so-called concern was apparent in anguished hazel green eyes. “Would you like anything?”

“No thank you,” Laguna answered, noticing for the first time that the woman had brought him more coffee, something he usually loved.

Being that it wasn't her place to pry into the Estharian President's personal affairs, Marina simply nodded and took her leave.

Sighing heavily, Laguna sank into the plush leather chair. Turning around to face the window behind his desk, he stared blankly at the heavy grey sky. It was crappy weather. Muggy and cloudy, it would rain soon. He wondered what the sky looked from Squall's eyes at that very moment.

Shaming himself further after holding out valiantly for six days, Laguna began to cry. If he felt it would help, he'd have snuck out and stormed into Balamb Garden. However, Kiros constantly reminded him that there was nothing he could do other than wait, which was problematic because it was slowly killing him.

Using the cuff of his navy blue dress shirt, he swiped at the trailing moisture in frustration, berating himself for being so utterly unmanly. At this rate, he wouldn't be worthy of having Squall as a lover.

The boy was always so composed, something he was jealous of at times. He admired his son as the strong young man he could never have been at such an age and as a man that out shown him in so many ways.

He now understood after observing the Balamb lion up close. He understood everything. His attraction was the most natural thing in the world when it came to someone who so completely drew the eyes of everyone within a ten-meter radius. He also understood that he was first person to truly love the boy, which was why Squall was his.

------

Seifer watched with amusement as the pale brunet pinched the bridge of a delicate nose. “That's six times,” he commented with a chuckle, earning an icy glare.

“Stop it,” Squall hissed, lowering his hand from his face.

“Squall,” Irvine drawled from the backseat, attempting to capture the young man's attention once more. “Can you fill in the gaps in your record? Why do I get the feeling your entire file is false?”

“Oh, he's catching on quick Leonhart. Want me to stop the car and kick him out?”

“Seifer,” Squall hissed once more in warning.

“You lied to me when I saw you in Esthar,” Quistis stated from beside the gunman, her tone not necessarily accusing.

Shaking his head, Squall refuted, “No.” Though his hand habitually reached up, he stopped halfway and glared at the blond driver who began laughing once more. He had lied in Esthar, hiding behind the motion for guardianship, but lying was easy for him.

“How did Cid bring you back?” the instructor pressed.

“He wanted to talk about the adoption,” Squall offered smoothly. “He's agreed to step back.”

“And why exactly wouldn't he have done so in the first place?” Irvine questioned. “There is something between you two that has to do with you taking extended leaves of absence all the time.”

At a loss for a plausible excuse, Squall finally admitted, “It's none of your business.”

“Squall!” Quistis called in a raised voice of reprimand. “This does concern us because we're your friends.”

“Stop prying into my affairs,” Squall ordered coldly. Turning in his seat to look back at the two, he demanded, “Stop it.”

Crystal blue eyes stared resolutely from behind wire-rimmed glasses. “What's going on?” the instructor pressed.

“Stop digging around in my past. If I wanted you to know, then I'd tell you,” Squall bit out harshly, the themes of his messages all the same.

“Are you admitting that you're hiding something?” Irvine queried, leveling the brunet with a narrowed gazed from beneath the brim of his hat.

“My secrets are my own to keep. Stop meddling,” Squall bit out with rising annoyance.

“We care about you and what happens to you,” Quistis declared firmly. “If you're in trouble, we want to help. If something is wrong, we want to fix it. Let us help you.”

“There's nothing to fix,” Squall murmured.

Grumbling in discontent, Seifer spoke up, “Leonhart, you suck at this.”

Scoffing, Squall shifted to stare forward out the front windshield.

Rolling his eyes, the blond knight graciously elaborated, “What his pissy highness means is that you're dredging up shit from the past. He doesn't want you to know, so back off.”

“I'm sorry, who the hell are you to get involved?” Irvine shot vehemently.

“Fuck this,” Seifer growled, deciding not to speak for the boy beside him. However, his temper won out after only a few seconds of sticking to this decision. “I've known him longer than your pretty boy ass, so shut the fuck up.”

“I'm sitting right behind you with a loaded rifle, you wanna rephrase that?” Irvine challenged.

“Just as soon as you learn how to use a decent weapon,” the blond knight shot back.

“Shut up!” Squall barked in annoyance, effectively capturing everyone's attention with his outburst. “Seifer's right, it's all in the past. There's nothing to fix Quistis, so please stop pushing this.”

Needing to have a final word, Seifer tacked on, “You should have just listened to me.”

“Shove it Almasy,” the gunman bit out. He'd put his neck on the line to access Squall's file, and this was the thanks he received. “Squall, I've got a little lady who's mighty upset after hearing that conversation between you and the headmaster that night at the fountain. If I don't find the answers, she'll be more upset with each conclusion her wild imagination draws.”

“You were spying on me?” Squall muttered incredulously.

“Because we knew you wouldn't tell us anything,” Quistis defended. “I knew it'd be the same today, but I'd hoped that if we had something to go on, you'd have to tell us.”

“Please, just drop it,” Squall requested, not far from begging.

Quistis reached out to gently squeeze Irvine's arm, sensing he was about to speak. “If you can look me in the eye and swear to me that you're not in any trouble and that absolutely nothing is wrong, then we'll leave you alone.”

Jaw clenching, Squall shifted once more, leaning around uncomfortably. Staring fixedly into his former instructor's eyes, he stated, “Someone has already fixed everything.”

Wide eyed, Quistis couldn't help but let her gaze waver towards the driver's seat.

“Seifer helped me because he had a debt to pay and didn't care enough to ask for details,” Squall explained, even though he hadn't actually been referring to Seifer.

“What about President Loire?” Irvine drawled, remembering the sight of the two seated together on a bike.

“…” Squall's gaze shifted to rest on the gunman.

“You two were awfully intimate on that bike ride.”

Grey-blue eyes narrowed. “He's my father.”

“If my old man came around at this point, I'd be putting him through hell for abandoning me, not flaunting how much I want him to adopt me like some overdramatic cover up.” Violet eyes watched for any indication that he'd struck the head of the nail.

Squall wanted to smile at Irvine's attempt, but continued to show no reaction. He was a pro at this. “The concept of a family is as unfamiliar to Laguna as it is to me. It's awkward, but we are trying in our own way.”

Seifer was forced to drive with one hand while he attempted to stifle his laughter. “That's rich,” he commented, wishing he weren't the only one who could share in the joke.

With a sigh, Quistis fell back against the seat. “I guess that's it then.” They were already approaching the town and Squall wasn't budging. It was difficult to have a firm hand in the matter when Squall assured her nothing was currently wrong. She was very much alarmed to learn that something had once been wrong and that the younger man was unwilling to tell her about, not to mention adamant that she stop trying to find out on her own.

“I hope you two realize I'm not giving you a ride back,” Seifer muttered darkly as he slowed to the town's speed limit.

TBC…