Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ LOST ❯ Fear?Stupidity?Love? ( Chapter 7 )

Fear? Stupidity? Love?

 

In that time, Tifa's heart was breaking again…she was so deeply hoping that after all, he feel something for her…but now… she felt her tears come again, so she just leaned her forehead on his chest and placed her palm of the hand, that Cloud was holding till now, on his heart. It wasn't too long for her to feel his pulse. She widened her eyes, which Cloud couldn't see now. His pulse… it was so fast. Maybe faster than her own. What was causing that speed? It was faster than when a human stop running. She couldn't hold more doubts neither hopes. She had to know what was going on. She had to know what does he felt right now. What does he feel for her… She turned her head up to face his eyes, and with unbreakable determination she asked him:

 

“Cloud, would you ever lie me?”

 

“Of course not.” He said didn't getting her point.

 

“Would you tell me the truth whatever it is?”

 

“Tifa what are these question? I will always tell you only the truth!”

 

“Do swear in our hometown, and your Mother's grave?”

 

“I…yes I swear in both of them. I will tell you the truth about anything you ask me.” He still wasn't getting her point till she asked him the last question:

 

“Cloud…what do you feel about me?”

 

Tifa didn't move her hand away from his chest, and now she was feeling the rising of his fast pulse. Cloud…he was wet and not red, but white like a sheet. He didn't move. He didn't move his gaze from her eyes. He couldn't think at all. Tifa noticed that his arms and fingers were trembling.

 

“Cloud?…”

 

He blinked some and opened his mouth to speak: ” I…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Tifa, I…I am sorry that I… umph, I don't feel you like… ermph… “ Their conversation was cut off by big “BOOM” from somewhere on the island. Tifa instantly grabbed his arm and they both trembling, looked in the direction of the explosion.

 

“What…what was that? Was that Cid?” Tifa asked still trembling from the tension.

 

“I…I don't know, I think it's not him. “ He stood up from the ground “ It was like an earthquake. It was too strong. Sorry…we have to wait some more…” before ending, he felt weak and before Cloud know it, he collapsed on the ground.

 

* * * * *

 

It was late at night. She went quietly out of the house and went to the waterfall - a place where she cannot be heard from no one. A place where no one will hear her cry. She went on one rock lying right above the water. She sat there and started thinking. As soon as she sat there, her eyes covered by tears. She fell with face to the ground and begun to hit the ground, letting out all her sadness.

 

`He don't love me that way! I was acting so stupid. How can he love me other way? He is in love with Aerith! No matter she is dead, he love her! He hopes to meet her again! I am just a sister that carries about him, that gives him home, love, warmth… I am so stupid!'

 

She was crying so loud, that her voice was starting to fade away.

 

“I'm so stupid! I'm so stupid! How I can be so stupid! It's not fair! I give everything from me! I have been giving it since forever! Why it turns for me to be so stupid!” she started to hit herself angrily, but it wasn't long till someone stopped her.

 

“Tifa stop! You are hurting yourself! “ Cloud said worried.

 

“That is what I'm trying to do! Don't you see??“ she yelled crying to him.

 

“But why?”

 

“Because I'm stupid!” she tried to hit herself again, but Cloud grabbed her arms still and took her into hug.

 

“You are not stupid. Forgive me, Tifa. I'm the only one that's stupid. I… I feel ashamed that because of me, you are hurting yourself. Because of my feelings you get mad. I…I know it's wrong…but I can't avoid it…it's just… you know… it's difficult to stop it. That feeling…and I…SOLDIER trained me to fight against everything except love and now I…”

 

“Love?” Tifa lifted up, sniffing.

 

Cloud widened his eyes and blinked “ Well I… um…”

 

“Cloud, do you love me? I mean…that way…like a woman?” Cloud could feel her trembling arms.

 

“Well…I thought …umph…yes…I love you not like a friend…” Cloud couldn't look into her eyes so he was looking somewhere else. The blonde was all red.

 

“That's a dream…no a nightmare…and when I wake up, I will die from crying…”

 

“What did you say? I couldn't hear you.” Actually Cloud heard her, but couldn't understand what she meant.

 

Tifa leaned on him, his arms still around her, protecting the brunette from herself, so her arms were locked between her and him.

 

“I don't want to wake up, Cloud. I don't want to wake up”

 

“Tifa…you are acting strange…Can you…would you tell me what's wrong? I have no idea what to do.” But before Cloud know it, Tifa was asleep, tired of watching over him all-night and crying from a few hours. Cloud took her since it was cold there and took her into the beach-house. He put her gently on the floor and sat next to her, taking a deep breath. Then Cloud stood up and left, taking some piece of wood to make it into something useful. The ex-SOLDIER went near the fire and sat there, thinking.

 

`What if…she have some feeling about me? She was acting strange…she is also PMSing…and we are also on a desert island all alone. What if she just begun to get crazy? No, it can't be. The more important think is, that now she knows about my feelings. What to do now? How to act now? … I will try to act as nothing happened…at least I will try.'

 

It wasn't long till the sleeping beauty opened her eyes. Her first thoughts were: “Was that a dream???' She sat up and looked around. She remembered everything that happened, and then grabbed a part from her hair and notice that it was tied. Tied from Cloud. So she knew it - it wasn't a dream. Tifa crowed to the enter and looked at Cloud secretly. He was sitting there, digging something…and probably thinking about her. She was so happy! He loved her! She couldn't stand there any longer, so she slipped put quietly and went near Cloud. He noticed her just when she lied on his back, putting her palms on it.

 

“You ok?” he asked with normal tone. But actually he was very nervous.

 

“Yes. I'm feeling great.” She said, trying not to laugh out happily.

 

“I'm glad.”

 

…

 

“Cloud…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I have something to tell you.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Well … “ she moved a step forward on her knees, still sat on the ground next to him. “I…” Tifa grabbed his right arm with her both hands and leaned on it. Cloud looked at her, hoping to hear that he thought is impossible.

 

“I love you … “ she buried into him so that he can't see her red, smiling face. Cloud looked into the sky and tried to hide his big deep breath form relief. He was saying `thank you god, thank you Zack, thank you Aerith'. He didn't know what to do, so he simply…put his arms around her and held her near him. It was long awkward silence for both of them but the time was like frozen. They just enjoyed their warmth and the news for the other's feeling. And still both of them couldn't believe it was real. And they would stay like this maybe some more hours, but Cloud sneezed and that scared Tifa a little.

 

“Sorry” the mako-eyed said.

 

“It's ok…” Tifa still couldn't look into his face. She would blush and look stupid. But as she tried to burry some more into him, she felt his arm cupping her left part of her face, and lifting her head to face his. Her checks were burning, her eyes shining.

 

“Your eyes are glowing brighter than a stars. “ she found only that, to say to him before put her hand over his and closed her eyes.

 

Cloud was feeling stupid. Sitting there and doing nothing. Sitting there and saying nothing. It was told, that the man have to lead the woman…or at least this was that Cloud had heard about the relationships… he was just one ex-SOLDIER with no experience with women. It was truth that Aerith had tried to hit on him many times, but these times it was like a joke…she didn't really felt him that way. Neither he enjoy it that way. He had always loved the girl that he was holding right now. Right then the thought ` you must do the first step first. She is waiting for this' run trough his head.

 

Cloud moved his hand to cup only her chin and one of her cheeks then very slowly started to rose her head. Tifa felt it and opened her eyes a little, keeping them ajar. She eased down a little her hand that was holding Cloud's hand. Cloud looked at her eyes for a second, then he looked back at her lips. She was doing the same thing. They became closer than before. Maybe a few inches from each other. Tifa opened her month a little. But maybe her lower lip dropped some just like that. The girl couldn't feel anything now. She wasn't feeling her legs, not the other arm, which's palm was on the ground. Cloud leaned some more, and because of that they were away from each other less than an inch. They could feel the warmth from the other's skin, to feel the other's breath. Cloud turned his head a little and placed his lips on hers.

 

The first few seconds it was like nirvana for both of them. They didn't know where were they right now. Actually it was the first few minutes. Tifa could feel herself melt. Cloud was like frozen - he didn't feel anything but Tifa's soft lips. It was true, that he touched her like that for a second time, but now was different. They were soft, kind, warm…and she was awake. She wanted it too. Does she?

 

It was true that she received a touch for second time from him, but now was different. She was feeling not only a pressure, but gentle, lusted kiss. And it was natural - when he touched her the first time she was paralyzed and it was logical to not feel it that way. Oh how much she loves him! And he loves her too! Does he? At the time she thought so she grabbed his hand strongly without noticing.

 

Cloud scared from the sudden grip, so he moved back with his heart beating faster - he was a little scarred. He looked at her - she was terrified, so he looked ashamed in the other side.

 

Tifa realized what she done and when Cloud broke the kiss, she was horrified from what she had done. She had to say something. It was so silent, and after this, and after he hole thing… it was so difficult …she opened her month to say something, but it was the same thing that the blonde was just saying, so they say it at the same time:

 

“I'm sorry…”

 

Cloud turned his head back to her, looking like a little kiddy, and she was looking at him the same way. Tifa took his hand and asked him:

 

“Why didn't you told me earlier?”

 

“Well I… I thought that it is stupid to want from you to love me since I am always away and I thought you love someone else that is always there beside you…I thought that it is arrogantly for me to expect such feelings from you…but why didn't you tell me earlier?”

 

“Well…I don't know…I ….”

 

“I know, there is a reason. Please tell me”

 

“I…thought that you are in love with Aerith…or was you?”

 

“No. I have never been in love with her.”

 

“It didn't seem like that. She was telling me all the things you have done alone…”

 

“What things?”

 

“Doest it matter? I don't care about the past…” she whispered and looked sadly at the sand.

 

“I don't care either…” he said while moving closer to her.

 

“Tifa…I really love very, very much. More than you think I do. More than anyone would think I do. “ He bowed down his head and closed his eyes.

 

“Cloud…” she was looking him feeling so sorry, and her heart was breaking. He was suffering. Suffering the same way as she did in the past. Tifa moved a little forward and bowed down too, to look him into the face.

 

“There is no need to suffer anymore.”

 

“I'm scared.”

 

“Me too, Cloud”

 

“What we gonna do from now on?… I …I have no idea what to do…I feel stupid.”

 

“Don't worry Cloud. Everything is gonna be alright.” She said while helping him stand up. “Come, we are going to caught cold if we stay on the sand.”

 

 

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

 

Yo! How did you all like it? Please write one-two lines to say if you like it or not, `cause it's hard to write more with only one review :S

I won't say what is coming with the next few chapters. You will see…someday ; )