Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ May to December ❯ Elena: A Secretary is Not a Toy ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

May to December
A FF7 Fan Fic
Chapter 3: Elena: A Secretary is Not a Toy...
by
Lady Aoi

Summary: Elena recovers from her injuries in chapter one. But where is Professor Hojo?
Rating: R for language, general Turkiness. Will still be R later for sexuality and angst, too.
Disclaimer: The lovely Elena and the amazing Hojo are not my creations. They belong to Square Soft, as do the equally fantabulous Rude, Reno, Tseng, Heidegger, Scarlet and any other characters who wander into this fic. Please don't sue me. I can't get the strategy guide to FF9 if you do. Yes, I'm a lamer. Sue me ^_~.
Spoilers: Nothing really beyond the first disc. You should be fairly safe.
Lady Aoi's Notes: Uhm... hm. I forgot to include a ton of notes with the last chapter. First of all, from the department of giving credit where credit is due: I'd like to thank Hojo's Honeys for giving the good doctor the first name 'Simon'. I haven't spoken to most of you, but I know that other fan fic authors have followed your lead, and wisely so. For whatever reason, this name suits him as seamlessly as his lab coat and spectacles do. Secondly, after re-reading my fic, it occurred to me that Hojo may seem to be a tad out of character for some people's tastes. My reason for not portraying him as either a gibbering lunatic or a cold, menacing pervert (two portrayals I've often seen in fan fiction) is the following: most women I know wouldn't find either Hojo very sexy. And considering that Hojo has not one but three bikini-clad babes flocking around him on the beach at Costa del Sol, I believe it is safe to infer that Hojo doesn't tend to act like a freak around women he finds attractive and/or wants to impress. That said, enjoy your second helping ^_^.

~*~

That night, I had this really weird dream about Reno and me getting drunk. We were trying to convince Rude that he had a mog growing out of his butt, but he was too busy making out with Rufus to notice, and he kept telling Reno to "shut the fuck up". And of course, life being unfair and all, I had to wake up just as Tseng walked through the door in a pair of briefs and nothing but.

And of course I had to wake up to Reno and Rude acting like a pair of jerky little boys.

"Shh, you're gonna wake her up, ya dumb fuck!"

"Oh, fuck you, Rude! It was your idea to pull this shit, anyway. She'll probably have a heart attack when she wakes up and sees 'em."

"Wait... no, my idea was to get her a cake. You were the one who came up with this sick practical joke, asshole."

"What the fuck did you call me, you dipshit?!"

Rude just gives him a blank look. "Asshole. And it's spelled a-s-s-h-o-l--"

I clear my throat just as Reno is about to start screaming again.

"Aw, shit, look what you did now, fucknut! You woke her up!" Reno bellows. Too late.

"Yeah, and from a real good dream too, you twerps." I scold as I stretch my left arm up. Well, guess I can be thankful for something. At least this arm doesn't have a stupid cast with a bunch of dirty poems all over it.

Instantly Reno's grinning like a stoned cat. He flops down next to me on the bed and begins poking at my stomach.

"Owww! That freakin' hurts, Reno! You're such a jerk!"

"Owww! That freakin' hurts, Reno! You're such a jerk!" I flip him off as he leans down and gives my stomach a kiss.

"Eww! Quit it!"

"So, who you dreaming about this morning, 'Lena?" he asks as he rolls over on his stomach to look up at me. "Was it Tseeeeeeeeeeeeeng?" Damn. The blush gives it away every time and he knows it, the pig! "Awwwww, does 'Lena-Wena got a crush on Tseeeeeengy-poodles."

"Shut the fuck up, Reno." He winces as I slap his cheek with my left hand. Wow, my left arm sure is bruised still...I wonder if what Professor Hojo said is really true. Maybe my body just shut down. Maybe it didn't really heal at all.

"Me-yowyow!" Reno rubs his cheek. "Kitty got claws." And then he swipes and hisses at me.

I stick my tongue out at him. Immature little brat. "That's right. And kitty'll claw your face if you don't quit rolling around. You're jiggling the bed and it's hurting my back, dummy!"

"Yeah, right. Like it your back's all that fucked up." But he does get off the bed at last, thank god. "Hey, Rude. Quit jerking off over there and get the lady's cake!"

"Get it yourself, fucknut. I'm still blowing up these stupid balloons of yours."

"What stupid balloons?" I ask turning my head. Floor and bed look empty enough. And then I notice Reno's giggling like a freak and pointing up at the ceiling. So I roll my eyes upwards slowly...

Yeah, and I regret asking as soon as I see them. I don't know how the guys did it without getting caught but the entire hospital room ceiling is covered in a sea of floating...

"Condoms." Each of which has a little smiley face that slightly resembles Reno's painted on its bottom in magic marker. So, basically I'm staring up at a bunch of badly drawn mini Renos. It's about then that their creator begins snorting and slapping his knees and laughing like a twit. "No, I so don't even want to know where you got those things," I tell him.

"Men's rooms, first through forty-first floors," Rude says as one of the condoms he's filling from a helium tank explodes and snaps into his finger.

I just shake my head and chuckle. Heck, it's so stupid it's actually kinda funny... in a sick and twisted little brother kind of way. "You guys are way too much."

Reno shrugs. "We also wanted to get you a blow up doll and dress it up like Tseng, but the fucking store was fresh out. So, we'll try again tomorrow."

I just make a face. "No you won't. I do not want a blow up doll that looks like him or anybody!"

"Aww, is wittle 'Lena embawwassed about her wuvvie-duvvie?" Reno giggles as he hops over to my desk. I think it's about then that he notices the red roses. "Hey, 'Lena," he says, bending down to get a better look at them. "Who brought ya these?"

"Unh..." eek! What do I say?! He knows they're not from Tseng, and if I told him the truth... "Erkk... uh.... Tseng?" Dammit! I'm awful at keeping secrets, and he so knows it!

"Yeah, right," Reno shoves his hands into the pockets of his blue uniform and frowns. "Rude, get your hand off your dick and get over here. Looks like our 'Lena's got a secret admirer!"

"Shut up, I do not!" But I'm sure blushing like I do as Rude hurries over to the bedside. "I dunno who brought them then, cause it sure wasn't Pro--" dammit!

"Pro?"

"Uh... Palmer. It wasn't Palmer."

"Oh god, let's hope the fuck not," Reno snorts as he reaches up for one of the roses. "Hey, lookit this! There's a little card on this little rose! Think we should read it, Rude?"

Uh-oh... Professor Hojo left me a card?! Eeek! Why'd he do that?! "Hey guys, cut it out! That's mine!"

"And when we were six, we took the following oath, all three of us. What's mine is yours and yours is mine and all for one and one for all."

"Uh, Reno, I think that's from a book..." Rude begins.

"We did not Reno, and you freakin' know it!" Eeee! Too late! He's already opening the card! And now he's gonna read whatever's inside! Well, I mean, duh, but -- but still! Who knows what weird stuff Professor Hojo wrote in there?! Like maybe he wrote the date and time he's gonna pick me up for an experiment! Okay, okay, so he said he didn't do things like that, not really, but what if he was lying?! And worse! What if Reno freaks out and starts screaming again that he's gonna kill Professor Hojo for giving me flowers that are probably covered with some weird chemical or something that's eating my brains out even as Reno's reading it. Oh my god! Why the heck am I so nervous?! It's just a gift. Okay, it's kind of creepy to give someone that you don't know really well red roses when you first meet them, but -- but it's just a gift and -- and I have no idea why I'm blushing!! Why am I blushing?! Ohh, why won't he just say something?!?!?

"Oh come on, Reno! What the hell does it say already?!?!?!?"

Rude's head jerks back slightly when I scream. Reno also looks a bit surprised. "I haven't even gotten the damn thing opened yet, 'Lena. Try not to cream yourself or anything," and with that he tears the card open and begins reading.

"So, what's it say?!"

Reno's pretty quiet for a second. And then he shakes his head and reads: "To Ms. Elena Marshall: I wish you a speedy recovery. Sincerely, Simon Hojo."

Ieeeee! I don't like the way Reno's brow is twitching. But hey, it's innocent enough, right? I mean, the guy just said he hopes I get well soon. What's the matter with that?! There are greeting cards out there that get way more personal and mushy than that.

"P.S.," Huh? There's more? Reno smoothes his hair out and reads on. "I'm sorry a pretty girl like you has to go through something like this. You didn't deserve what Heidegger did to you, dear."

Wow. I've never seen Reno actually at a loss for words before. And if I wasn't about ready to puke from being freaked out, I'm sure I'd think it was pretty amazing. Reno just stands there, reading and re-reading the card. And then Rude takes the card from him and goes over it a few times. He then takes his sunglasses off and goes over it a few more times. Then he gives it back to Reno who reads it to himself again. Finally, Reno puts the card back on the night table and taps Rude on the shoulder. They both turn around and quick march over to a corner of the room, wrap their arms around each other's shoulders and huddle like two guys on a football field. Every now and then, Reno yells something and Rude jabs him with an elbow to make him shut up. I'm too nervous to say anything until they break the huddle and turn back towards me. Uh-oh. They're both grinning. That's not good. That's so not good...

"Elena, honey," Reno says as he slides back over to my bed. "Rude and I were talking just now and uhm... well, we're both a little bit confused, okay?"

"Uhm... okay... what's up?"

Reno keeps grinning at me. "Well, either a very, very sick joke got played on you while you were resting up, or someone named Simon Hojo brought you a vase full of twelve long-stem red roses with a card in which he calls you 'pretty girl' and 'dear'."

And why the hell am I blushing?!? "Uhm... uhn..."

"And unless there is some cadet or lab assistant here who is, quite coincidentally named Simon Hojo, this is either a fucking sick practical joke or the real guy paid you a visit. Well?"

Yeah, whenever Reno gives me that stern little look, I always crack like an eggshell. "Hey, Reno, chill out! It's not what you think!"

"I see. Okay. Alright. Okay. Rude, you stay with 'Lena. I'm going to go see the professor right now. We need to talk. No, not talk. I need to chop his nuts off with a broken bottle, shove them down his throat, push his head into the nearest toilet bowl and flush for the next two years." And then Reno starts for the door.

"R--reno! It's not -- he didn't *do* any -- oh, get back here, you moron! Nothing weird hap-- Rude, make him stop!"

"Hey, Reno, come back to reality for a sec and listen to 'Lena, okay?"

Good thing Rude said that when he did. Reno was practically out the door. And for a second I'm really scared he's gonna go do something stupid. Ten seconds later, though, he's back in the room and leaning against the wall, arms folded over his chest and glaring at both of us.

"Okay, okay. Rude's got a point. Talk, 'Lena. Tell me what the fucker did to you. Did he touch you? Did he try and --"

"Oh for hell's sake, Reno! Just because Tseng told you he was a dirty old man doesn't mean he really is!"

"Oh, doesn't it?!"

"No!" I just shake my head and stare at the cocky jerk. "I think I was here and fully awake when he walked in with the flowers," Okay so that's not entirely true, but... "So I think if he tried to do anything, I'd probably know about it."

Reno just shakes his head. "I still don't like it, 'Lena. It's not just me, either. That guy gives *everyone* the willies. He's just ..." He tries to find the right word for a bit then shrugs. "You know?"

"He seemed fine yesterday. And he was real nice to me."

"I just hope that's all the drugs they've got pumped in you speaking and not your real feelings, kid."

I'm saved from what's looking like the start of a five hour lecture by Rude, who just happens to glance down at his watch then. "Well, whatever's going on, Reno, you and I have to report to Tseng in ten minutes. So we'd better go."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Reno comes over to me again and pats my shoulder. "All I'm saying, 'Lena, is watch your back, 'kay? 'Cause Rude an' me can't always watch it for you."

I swat at his hand lightly. "And don't forget, I'm three years older than you both, punk. And that's about a decade in slum years."

Reno sighs. "Like that means a fucking thing. Rude and me've been working here way longer. We know the ropes, 'Lena. You don't. Case in point: we wouldn'ta been Heidegger's lunch meat."

I'm just gonna ignore that insult. "Fine, whatever, Dad. I'll be on my guard."

"We'll be back tomorrow," and with another pat, he's gone. Rude gives me a peck on the cheek and tells me not to worry too much, because Reno's never been big on tact, and then follows him out, helium tank in tow. I just lie back and watch the condom balloons bobbing up and down. Man, the orderlies are gonna have a fit when they see that. A thousand little Reno's watching me as I sleep.

And he thinks Professor Hojo's creepy?

~*~

Speaking of Professor Hojo, I don't see him again for the entire time I'm in the hospital. Rude and Reno show up every day, of course, and usually get kicked out within the same hour for being noisy and talking dirty. Either that or the head nurse was way more pissed off about the "balloons" than she let on, which I really think she was. Sometimes Tseng stops by, too. And the eye candy is also appreciated... as is the real candy, which he usually has. Or the books and magazines (none of which, thankfully, are glamour magazines. I prefer 'Ammo and Guns Weekly'). And once, he brought me the cutest little teddy bear. I just got a kick out of that! I named it after him, but didn't tell him that. He'd just think it was stupid and childish, which I guess it is. Tseng was way cooler about the red roses than the guys were, too. When they started looking a little wilted, he said he'd take them and his roses, dry them, and put them in my room so I could keep them forever if I wanted. Of course I said yes. It's so rare we see flowers in Midgard, so I wanna hang on to those I *do* get for as long as I can.

The weird thing though is, I can't get Professor Hojo out of my mind. The visit was just so... aside from the guys and Tseng, I didn't have any other visitors, and certainly not from Shinra execs. I mean, these people are way up there, and it's not like they have time or even care when a pion like me gets hurt. But Hojo... huh. Maybe he's just a nice guy and he does this for everyone when they're sick or hurt. But Shinra's a huge company, and if he did that he'd just be buying flowers and writing get well cards all day long. So that can't be it. It was probably because he personally saw me get hurt. Yeah, that has to be it. I mean, no one else was there but him and Heidegger, and of course Heidegger wouldn't send a get well card. I bet he can't even spell his own name.

Still, it is... Reno's right, I guess. The whole thing was just plain weird. And eeeeee! Why is it getting to me like this?! It's not like I have a crush on the guy or anything!

Well, anyway, they keep me in the hospital for the next month and then I'm discharged. The suckiest thing, though, is that now I'm two months and a week behind in my training. So, they give me two options: I can either lay out for a year and reapply to join the Shinra army next year, or... or I can just take a desk job. Of course, I'm all for reapplying and just waiting the year out. That is, until Tseng let me in on some inside information. Apparently, Heidegger really got in trouble for what he did to me. I say apparently because he'd probably done things as bad as this before and no one had ever called him on it. This time, however, he'd been reprimanded by President Shinra, given a huge dock in pay, and had part of his job turned over to a woman named Scarlet, who was now going to serve as co-chair of Shinra's weapons development. Needless to say, Heidegger probably wanted me dead for real this time, so reapplying to join the military was not a good idea right now. At least according to Tseng and the guys, who all felt the same way.

Okay, I didn't cry once during my recovery, no matter how bad my wounds hurt. Not even that one time I got a nasty bed sore on my hip. But when the guys told me I should probably take the desk job, I just burst into tears.

I mean, really. My whole life has been, what? From thirteen on, I worked crappy, insulting jobs like most slum girls. I waited tables. I cleaned rooms. I stocked stores. I once even went homeless for three months after getting fired because I didn't want to suck my manager off. And I did not -- I did not spend the last eleven years being poked, prodded, threatened, stalked and having my butt grabbed at least twice a day to have it end this way! God damn it! I *worked* I really *worked* to meet all the requirements for the military! I trained day and night to get my stupid arm muscles strong. I spent all my money on good healthy food so I'd pass the medical exams. And I worked around the clock at the Wall Market weapons shop just to perfect my knowledge of artillery. Which, guess what?! Is way better than Reno or Rude's will ever be, and they're gonna make Turk next year, probably! And now, thanks to some maniac, I'm never gonna make Turk? I get to be punished forever just for being a good soldier and for trying to get the job done?! Where the hell were those three cadets who never showed up to help me move the riffles?! Why haven't they been forced to take desk jobs?! Why the hell wasn't Heidegger fired and court marshaled, or at least locked up in some padded cell where he can't hurt anyone anymore?! If I beat a cadet up, or if a freaking Turk beat someone up, you'd better *bet* they'd lock us up so fast our heads'd spin. But just because he's a general and some fat cat Shinra executive, he gets to give me a death sentence?! Well fuck him and fuck Shinra, Inc., too! I'll go back to working at Teddy's weapon shop in the slums before I rot behind some desk. And if the guys don't like my attitude, they can just shove it because no one here is out to get *them* for just trying to be the best that they can!

I think while I'm screaming all of this at the top of my lungs, the guys and Tseng somehow figure out that I'm serious. When I've finally tired my voice out, Reno and Rude just put their arms around me and hug like they've never hugged me before, not even the day they carted father off to prison. And Tseng just quietly tells me that he'll do everything in his power to make Heidegger forget my name, my face, everything about me. It'll probably be way easier than any of us imagine, seeing as he's way too busy and stupid to remember much about anything for very long. And besides, he says, putting a hand on my shoulder. Next week he'll beat some other cadets up and start holding a grudge against them. Nobody has room enough in their hearts to hate too many people at once.

I just tell Tseng that, if he can say that, he definitely didn't grow up in the slums and therefore has no right to tell me what will and will not be okay. I know I hurt him by saying that, but at the moment I'm just not me. This whole thing has just been a little too much for me to take all at once like this. But I think he realizes that. He says he'll do his best to fix things and that I really should take the desk job because "The world needs more dedicated people like you, Elena. And it'd be terrible if you let one insignificant man destroy you. You're way too good for that." And well, of course, that gets me blushing again, and of course Reno has to say something stupid about that, and before we know it we're all laughing.

So, yeah, I take the desk job. As much as I hate it, Tseng is right. Life sucks a lot of the time and things don't usually go your way without a lot of hard work and patience. And I'll prove to everyone around me that I have a whole lot of both. Even if it means I have to make coffee and file stuff for a year, two years, hell, even three years. I'm young and I have time. I've done worse things for less, right? At least as a secretary the pay is good enough to get a decent apartment and health benefits. Ohh, and, as soon as Rude and Reno make Turk, they and Tseng are gonna start teaching me some tricks of the trade. So I'll just be that more ahead if... no... when, Elena... *when* I get back into the military.

So, for the next year, my life is pretty boring. I get assigned to work for Palmer and the space program. Palmer doesn't like blondes at all, so he pretty much just ignores me, which is great. On week days, enter data, and answer phones. When something breaks, they always ask me to fix it, and that's pretty fun. Maybe I should apply to be a technician if Tseng can't fix things. I bet I'd do good at it! On weekends, the guys, Tseng and me go out to the country and drill. So I'm keeping in shape for the most part. And about the time of my incident with Heidegger's one year anniversary rolls around, I get transferred to the science department. And by now, I've completely forgotten about Hojo... that is until I see the word "science" on the transfer letter in my mailbox. But even so, I haven't ran into him at all, so it's pretty much just an 'oh yeah, isn't that his department' kind of realization. The next day, I pack up my desk and move up to ...

Huh. That's weird. They gave me a key card to the sixty-eighth floor. That's restricted personnel only. Only the head secretaries in Palmer's department have access to this floor. That's really strange... but maybe it's just because Shinra's real secretive about its science research. At least that's what I decide as I swipe it through the keypad and enter my code. Maybe all the secretaries on this floor have keycards.

The lock on the door beeps and flashes red. Damn it. Access denied. I shift my box of stuff onto my hip and swipe again. Bee-beep beep. Access denied. And according to what it says on the swipe pad's screen, the third failed attempt will trigger an alarm. Oh for... I sigh and adjust my box again. Darn. Just my luck that they give me a messed up key card. Now I have to go all the way down to the fiftieth floor and get a new one. And that'll make me at least forty-five minutes late to my first day! Oh, of all the stupid things! Why can't they test these first... eeee. Maybe the door's just jammed. Or maybe if I just swipe it again really fast, the alarms won't sound. Maybe it'll open. I only have ten minutes to get to my work station, so I have to... I guess I have to try.

Gritting my teeth, I slide the box against the wall for extra support and swipe the card again. It seems to take forever for it to process this time. C'mon, c'mon... oh come on, door!

An ominous click, and the light flashes red.

Oh shit....

And then the alarms begin to sound and the lights begin to flash.

"Intruder alert! Intruder alert!" a vaguely female computerized voice informs the entire floor. Oh no. Oh no no no no no!!

"Shhh!" I tell it, reacing out to slap the swipe pad. Ohh. Maybe there's a button somewhere! Maybe it's just malfunctioning and ... "I'm not an intruder! My key card just won't work! It's not my fault! Oh, please just let me in! Please!" Oh no.. I probably have about ten seconds until the roboguards get here, and then the entire building's gonna know that I messed up again and... and everything was going so good today! Why the heck does this have to happen to me?!

It's about then that the box from my old office decides to help me out even more by sliding out from its wedged position between my hip and the wall and overturning on the floor. I watch in horror as papers, pencils, my pictures of the guys, candies, Tseng-Tseng the teddy bear and more go flying, rolling and sliding in all different directions.

"Oh no no no! Don't do this! Shit!" With a final punch to the key pad, I hike my skirt up past my knees and get down on all fours to chase my office supplies. "Ohh, come back come back!" Great. This is just how the roboguards are going to find me. On my hands and knees picking up crap. I wonder if they'll shoot me while I'm not looking or if they'll wait for me to finish and stand up before knocking me out and putting me in a holding cell for questioning when I revive. Damn this just isn't my day.

And then, just like that, the alarm and the flashing lights shut off.

Silence. Dead silence. Except for the buzzing lights overhead.

Huh?

"Do you need some help with that, Ms. Marshall?"

.... I know that voice!

"Uhm.." My skirt's clinging around my thighs now. Not high enough, thank god, for the guy behind me to get some free sex ed. But it's still high enough that if I sink my head to the floor and look through my legs I can put the voice with what I just know is a familiar face. And so I bend my back and neck towards the floor and look.

Sure enough, an upside-down Professor Simon Hojo stands there looking exactly the same as when I last saw him. Same lab coat, same glasses, same long dark hair in a pony tail, same pale, vaguely sick look, same impassive face...well, at least that's what I'm guessing, 'cause I can't really see more of him than his black shoes and the cuffs of his grey pants.

He brings his right hand up a little and shakes it in a small wave. Feeling the blood rush to my face, I shift my weight onto my left hand and throw an arm around my leg to wave back.

"Oh... hello, Professor Hojo. Uh.... long time no see."

"Indeed."

"Uh... sorry about the... my key card..."

"Oh, it's quite alright. It's been doing that all morning. We've called maintenance three times now, but they haven't sent anyone to see to it." he sighs. "I suppose no one will until I go down and yell at them, either."

Despite myself, I laugh. "Hahahah. You yelling at someone?! I can't imagine that." And I can't. I just can't see this guy ever using exclamation points.

"Sometimes one has to yell to see results, Ms. Marshall."

"Yeah, I guess so."

A long, long silence. I wonder if a tumble weed just rolled by. Finally he speaks.

"Ms. Marshall, have you hurt yourself? Do you need some assistance in getting off the floor?"

"Huh?" The floor? What's he... oh! Oh yeah! Haha! I'm on the floor with my butt in the air! Haha! And he probably thinks I'm crazy! Haha! Eeee. "Oh no, that's okay. I'm fine." And I promptly show this by tripping on my shoe as I go to get up and then clipping my chin on the floor as I fall flat on my stomach. "I'm okay!!" I tell him as I bring a hand around my back to wave again. Oh my god. He must think I'm nuts.

And as I'm scrambling to my feet, I feel a slender, cool hand slip beneath my left elbow. I freeze as another hand rustles against the inseam of my right arm. "Professor H-Hojo?!"

But he's just steadying me as he helps me up. Haha. And here I was thinking he was going to cop a feel! Hey, he's pretty strong for an older guy... well, I mean...

"Thanks," I tell him as I lean down to scoop the rest of my stuff into the overturned box. It takes a few minutes, because my supplies and papers have scattered all over the foyer with the ten thousand ceramic shards of my favorite coffee mug. Hojo seems to have a little trouble getting down... I mean, uhm... bending over to -- I mean he's helping me pick things up, right? And it seems like his back hurts him a little when he leans down to grab something. I wonder if he has a bad back, or if he just needs to gain a little muscle mass. He's practically a skeleton.

"I am so sorry," I tell him as we put the last of the stuff in the box. "I guess it just slipped when I was..."

"It's quite alright. But in the future, Ms. Marshall, please don't hit the key pad even if the spirit so moves."

"Oh... Uh, I didn't break it I hope?"

He shakes his head and giggles lightly. Eeegh! That giggle is so weird! "No more so than it already is, I'm sure. If you need to leave this floor at any time during your shift today, please borrow another worker's key card. I have a feeling this problem won't be fixed until tomorrow, no matter how loudly I yell."

"Uh, alright," I pick the box up again as he slides his card through the stupid key pad. "Uhm... so, I guess we're working on the same floor, huh?" Wow, gee, Elena! Brilliant scientific observation. I bet he's soooo impressed by the depth of what you just said! Oh, why the heck is it getting to me?!

"Yes. In fact, we happen to be heading in the same direction. If you're ready, I would be happy to show you to our office."

"Oh thanks, Professor, 'cause I'm sure I'd just get lost anyw--" Buh? "Uh... did you just say 'our' office?" He nods. "Like... you meant offices, right?" He shakes his head. "Wait... we're in the same office?" He nods. "Isn't there like a typing pool up here or something?" What the hell kind of place is this?!

"Did your letter not inform you?"

Letter? "Inform me?"

"Ms. Marshall, surely you know the situation. After hearing about the excellent work you did for the space program, I put in a request to have you transferred here as my personal secretary."

..... "Ueeerk?"

"Ueeerk? I don't understand. You were not informed?"

"Uh..." I answer him by dropping the box again.

(End Part 2)