Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Melting his Heart ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

Chapter 2

 

Cloud wanted to leave, mounting Fenir swiftly. He slipped on black goggles to protect his eyes from the whipping winds. Adjusting them slightly, he bent over starting the ignition. Head angled up, he squeezed the silver grip gears by the handlebars. The engine roared and the heavy back tire hissed with Fenir ready to go, to help him run from the Turks and himself.

Why do the Turks think I can save them? Cloud contemplated. He sank deeper into his own inner darkness, wondering why he lived when his soul felt dead inside. From his body, his soul peered out at the world through eyes, sparkling like sapphires that questioned his very existence.

I can't even save myself because I'm going to die, the awful truth echoed deep in Cloud's heart. Awakened to a new understanding, he thought about why he ran. It wasn't really from the outside world, but in truth, his very own self.

Up until his final battle with Sephiroth he had a purpose, the will to win his freedom. As Zack was gunned down after escaping with Cloud, his last words were, “Cloud, be free!” Since that day, Cloud lived honoring Zack's wish. He would be free no matter what because that was what Zack died for. During the epic struggle against Sephiroth, Cloud's will strengthened, tempered like a warrior's in battle.

At the height of it Cloud's will peaked. High as the sun at zenith, burning brightly in the sky, manifesting in each thunderous blow that tore the heavens asunder, as he plunged his blade in Sephiroth. When Sephiroth's emerald eyes went wide and sweet mouth gaped open, blood trickled down his beautiful face. Then Sephiroth's perfectly muscled body, bare from the torso up, split open when the Lifestream broke free. In that moment, Cloud conquered darkness grasping true freedom at last.

Just as the sun rises, then sinks from its zenith towards sunset, so too would Cloud's spirit, having fulfilled its purpose. What rises must fall. So as time passed, the sun, like his life fell further below the horizon. It fell faster as he forgot the battle behind him, and the meaning of freedom itself. With that fading, he drifted not knowing why. Left without a purpose he wandered, his mind lost in darkness. He grew cold. His heart iced over, now numb.

He became a deliveryman who avoided all human contact whenever possible. Even the slightest meeting forced him to face his emotions. Confronting his emotions meant feeling his inner sorrow. Emotions of remorse harbored from the deaths of Zack and Aeris. This mass of guilt Cloud called sin. It hurt so bad he locked it away, forgetting that the pain lay within. Grieving directly over the deaths of his beloveds would force him to deal with his own inevitable death. That's why he ran only now realizing this in the present.

I ran so hard, I forgot about my Geostigma, Cloud reflected inwardly. Straightening himself on Fenir, he ripped the goggles from his face. He clasped them, placing a hand over his heart. But this part of me always knew, right here.

His heart pounded under his touch as if aware of its own mortality. It knew that with every passing day, the Geostigma attacks worsened. The pain became so intense he passed out in minutes. What if, next time, after another attack he never awake again? This awful truth stabbed him like a knife churned deep in his gut.

I'm going to die, Cloud cried silently, breaking down.

He froze, releasing his grasp on the silver gears, dropping the goggles in hand. All in the same fateful moment, with his mind and body crippled by the awareness of death. Sorrow, once solidified in clear crystal eyes welled up, threatening to spill from his rims. Inner emotions long bottled inside broke free with a vengeance, smashing through the blocks of self-control and mental barriers erected. Crushed swiftly in a second as everything he sought to deny flooded his fragile mind.

“So why should I even fight?” Cloud asked himself, his smooth baritone voice, musical to the ear, strangely calm and low. From eyes deep as the night sky, but bright as day he gazed out. His visage averted in a downward stare, softened by delicate features over his round pensive face.

“If I run, no one will know,” came a whisper choked in his throat. He frowned blinking hard to fight back the tears. “Yes, that's what I'll do,” he murmured, his voice tinged with sorrow.

Cloud swallowed his pain, hands clamping down on the silver gears, when out of the corner of his eye, a flash of red shot through his field of vision. It was Reno trampling down the walkway, his footsteps hitting hard. The old planks beneath reverberated under his gait, hammering as he neared. Loss from the possible deaths of Tseng and Elena ached deep in his heart. Guilt consumed him after exploding at Rufus and the fear of failing this new assignment raced through his thoughts like wildfire.

Mired in his own misery, Cloud paid no attention, glancing at the gears. Stepping off the walkway Reno kicked up dust, marching towards Cloud. The ex-soldier didn't even bother to look up or hit the Turk, lost in his depression.

“Like hell he'll help us,” Reno muttered, shaking his head. Interpreting Cloud's silence as hostility, his temper flared.

“Asshole!” he cried, charging at Cloud wildly.

He missed, striking Fenir instead, when his target suddenly vanished.

“Ouch.” Wincing, he clutched a hand to his chest, hugging it close. “The jerk thinks he's cool.”

The instant Reno said that, he felt a curious gaze bearing down, watching his every move. When Cloud had disappeared, he alighted on some rocky terrain higher up. His speed was divine and lightning quick, surpassing Reno's vision. He just stood atop the naked rock face, motionless, as if lost in time. Only his clothes showed any signs of movement. The partial outer-skirt worn wavered in the wind. Beneath, his black pants billowed out and the sleeveless zip-top blew gently across his chest.

His sight downcast, he stared steadily at Reno. In his eyes Mako glowed subtly, illuminating them from the inside out. Reflecting Reno's image, a flame in his irises, violet in the outer rims blurred inward towards to a heavenly blue, with single points of light dancing in their depths. Somewhere inside the light, a divine spark twinkled, capturing Reno's soul.

It's that look again! Reno thought, going absolutely still, shocked by his sudden feelings for Cloud. I can't even concentrate. Tseng and Elena are gone. I yelled at the boss. Cloud is being an ass. This shit's too much, man.

Reno heaved a sigh, dropping his head. His brows drew together and wide green eyes narrowed in annoyance. Raising a cigarette to his mouth, he shoved its butt in, tightening his lips. He cupped one hand around its end, using the other to light it.

“Damn it, Cloud. What's yer problem?” he spat between puffs, pacing about below.

Only the wind whipping at Cloud answered from above. Without a word, Cloud stepped closer atop the stony ground overhead, observing Reno silently. No longer detached as he saw Reno's pain, his expression softened slightly, felt in the touch of his gaze.

Could it be that Cloud showered him with warmth? From another human being, yes. But for Cloud no, just a humanistic expression that he sensed Reno's distress. This surprised the Turk, leaving him speechless. Cloud rarely showed his emotions, masked beneath a frigid, forbidding exterior.

“Umm …” At a loss of words, Reno let his cigarette slip out. “You mad?”

“I don't know,” came the ex-soldier's distant reply, a whisper Reno strained to hear.

Diving nimbly from the rock face above, Cloud somersaulted down, landing with knees bent, back angled forward, head tuck in and arms out in front. Reno gasped, catching this as a blur quicker than lightning. He couldn't breathe, realizing that Cloud could kill him swiftly. Rufus must have known that Kadaj possessed the same godlike strength and speed. The very thought chilled Reno's blood. He needed Cloud's protection for Rufus no matter the cost.

“Cloud, do somethin' for us.” The redhead's desperate cry pierced the air. He collapsed on the ground, prostrated on his hands and knees begging. Proud and boastful, he never did this before. If Rufus was killed, he couldn't live. This intense fear drove him to act emotional far beyond his usual self.

Cloud had knelt down, meeting Reno eye to eye. “I can't,” he uttered.

Lowering his face, Cloud searched for an answer, eyes shifting slowly under half shut lids. “I can't save anyone, neither family or friends. No one.” A sense of emptiness filled his grief stricken voice.

“Bullshit!” Reno sprang up, lashing out at Cloud. He saw the warrior as strong, oblivious to his inner pain.

Goddamn, Reno, I'm dying, Cloud cried inwardly. Don't you get it?

Reno's words stabbed him deeply. Out of frustration, Cloud lunged forward hitting Reno. The Turk slammed into the rocky wall, where the ex-soldier had stood before on top.

Why'd he do that? Reno wondered, finding his answer in Cloud's eyes.

Sparkling with sorrow, they revealed the pain in his soul. He would face death, unable to save his own mortal self. This anguish moved Reno's heart. He glimpsed it under Rufus's shroud right before Cloud arrived. It was an inner knowing beyond all denial one's life would end.

Is he…dying? It suddenly dawned on Reno, awakening his conscious

With a sympathetic hand, he reached out stroking Cloud's face. Reno's lips parted, unable to utter words. Reno just exhaled, the rise and fall of his chest steady under his shirt and coat.

Cloud's breathing deepened. Bond feathery bangs blew over his face, hiding the gorgeous visage Reno longed to see. The moment their gazes first met, Reno saw something beautiful, a depth of feeling in the way he stared. Entranced, Reno forgot his troubles, like Rufus dying and Kadaj attacking. Time stopped this moment in Cloud's mysterious presence.

Reno's touch wandered under Cloud's chin. The warrior gasped, trembling from sensations. They triggered flashbacks with Zack calling out his name. His name in memory made him shiver and break into a sudden sweat.

“R-Reno.” His voice low and heated, Cloud wrapped a hand around Reno's wrist. His gaze rose slowly, locked onto Reno's, penetrating his soul to the core. The stare set him on fire. Inner desires harbored came alive taking full control.

I can't fight it, I want him, Reno cried, returning the same stare.

It shot through Cloud intensifying his ardor. Ever since Zack's death Cloud forgot what passion what felt like. He missed Zack dearly, burying his pain within so he might keep living. Perhaps it was then that his heart iced over, thickening as the years passed on.

When Reno kissed him before, that topmost layer melted. He became conscious realizing he hurt Reno. To feel pain meant to be human. As long as lived he'd feel pain. He realized this, gathering his courage to face his feelings in the present.

I must keep living, even if I'll die soon, for Reno's sake as well as Zack's, Cloud realized in his heart. For some reason, I need him.

No longer wanting to fight, Cloud undid the leather sheath across his back with his sword in it. Placing them on the ground, Cloud neared taking a stride towards Reno. In an intimate embrace Cloud kissed him deeply. Reno gasped, sinking fully in Cloud's steady grasp. Tilting his head back, he revealed his neck. The warrior's lips kissed his warm expanse of skin.

Cloud laid Reno beneath him, lowering him to the ground. He sucked at Reno's neck, yanking off his coat. Buttons flew off Reno's shirt as Cloud ripped it open, exposing his naked chest. With Reno pinned down, Cloud's tongue traced his left pectoral. Reno's breathing went deep and raspy. Moving in, Cloud's lips caught his left bud. He nipped lightly as his wet tongue played over. Then his lips teased the right bud, each firming under his loving touch.

“Cloud…” came Reno's strained cry, his body arching up against Cloud's. “I was an ass before cause I hurt ya…”

Rising up on his hands and knees over Reno, Cloud blinked, his expression calm even though his body ached.

“Didn't mean ta…” Reno sniffled, his arms reaching up, encircling Cloud's waist. Pulling him down as their hips pressed together in a tender embrace.

“It's…okay…” Cloud's soft voice trailed off, his mind lost in passion.

Overtaken taken by pleasure, a sudden wave rolled over from Reno moving under. In return, Cloud's body tensed, pushing down harder. His action drew out a blissful smile rising on Reno's lips.

“Ya like when I ache there, eh?” Lifting an elbow up, his forearm pillowed his head. His lower body swiveled, bringing Cloud's attention lower.

Blinking, the warrior wondered what Reno meant.

“Guess I'll have to tell ya.” Laughing, Reno sat up. He placed Cloud's hand on his stomach. With his other free hand, Reno pulled the warrior's gloves off. Then unfastened his belt. Fabric gathered around his knees, freeing flesh that trembled.

“Put yer hand, there.” He pronounced `there' with a softness that dissolved Cloud's fear.

“Yeah, like…that.” The redhead nodded, guiding Cloud's hands.

His strong fingers grasped Reno's silken flesh, pulsing and hot. Reno whimpered sinking into Cloud's caresses, feeling sweet vibrations course through. Cloud's glance traveled up, averted slightly. He found Reno's lips open, turning up in each corner to a subtle smile.

Catching its traces, Cloud thought about Zack. That smile, its the same. The very memory made Cloud teary. If I treat Reno the way Zack treated me, maybe he'll live on inside me.

The smiles of Reno and Zack overlapped, imprinted in his mind. Feeling as if both were there, Cloud let go of his pain. Letting passions blaze, their bodies turned and twisted in tawny dust. Eventually, Cloud rolled against Reno, nudging him back against the rock wall behind. Breathing heavily, Reno's hands slipped below tugging at the outer skirt over Cloud's pants. Pulled down far enough, tender flesh was freed.

“Reno, I…I…” The warrior lost his words, as cool air hit his excitement.

“Cloud, I know.” Reno silenced him, claiming his lips. “Relax, against me.”

Cloud's entire body released tension falling limp against Reno's. His firm flesh brushed past Cloud's, the touch feather light as a lover's first kiss. Cloud pressed back, slowly at first, then deeper, animated by love's rhythmic dance. A timeless beat of nature, the origin of existence itself. Discovered in each person swept in the dance. Its tempo quickened, soaring higher. Reno and Cloud's hearts pounded beating as one. Forgetting the “me” from the “you,” freed in a world beyond thought, I am you and you are I. Baring our souls from their depths, from the deepest strata of ourselves, inner divinity is expressed. Building as release came, suspended in heaven, each spilled their sacredness. A warm essence coated chests and stomachs pressed together.

“That was…nice.” Emotion tinged Reno's voice. He rested under Cloud, breathing under his weight.

Cloud lifted his head. With a meditative expression, he nodded agreeing. Somehow, this shift in his expression reflected an inner transformation he would only begin to understand in his new relationship with Reno.

TBC…