Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ New Love ❯ Chapter 16

New Love

 

I had trouble writing this chapter, but here it is.

 

Chapter 16

 

Cloud sat silently on the light brown sofa, hands clasped over his mouth, eyes staring at the carpet blankly. He hadn't moved in about ten minutes, since he had gotten dressed and quietly slipped out of the bedroom, Aeris still asleep as he closed the door behind him

 

The full impact of what he had done last night still hadn't fully hit him. Or maybe he didn't notice it because the impact had happened slowly. Cloud had realized what this relationship could cost him a long time ago. The idea of what was at stake had helped curb his feelings at first. He could lose his job, his girlfriend, and with them his reputation and possibly even home. His friends probably wouldn't be too joyful around him either for what he had done to Tifa.

 

Tifa…Cloud wasn't even sure what to do about her. After what had happened last night, the feelings he had developed for Aeris…Tifa had to know, had to. She would be hurt, of course. But she had to know. Cloud had no idea how she would react, what she would want to do. She might not even want to be with him anymore. Cloud wasn't sure if he wanted to be with her anymore either. He had crossed a line, he knew before hand he was going to cross it, and he had to deal with the consequences, one way or the other, better or worse.

 

There was a sound from the hall, and Cloud lifted his head. Aeris emerged from the hallway, her eyes half-closed. Her hair was still hanging free from her usual braid, and was slightly tousled. Cloud guessed he should have expected that. Aeris noticed him, and her eyes opened fully. Her face flushed, and she gave him a small half-smile.

 

“Hi,” she said quietly.

 

“Good morning,” Cloud replied, lowering his eyes.

 

“I thought maybe you had left.”

 

“No, I wouldn't…”

 

“…kay…”

 

The two fell back into silence, and Cloud cast a glance up at Aeris, who was gazing at a picture on the wall. Cloud hadn't looked around her apartment much, he'd been busy thinking. Right now, he had to say, or do something. Sweeping her up into his arms and carrying her back into the bedroom was appealing, but would be horribly inappropriate. There were so many things to ask, so much to say, where to begin…

 

“How was it?” Cloud blurted. A split second later, he cried out and clamped a hand over his mouth, kicking himself. Aeris gave him a sheepish look.

 

“Um…it was…good,” she said slowly, clearing her throat.

 

“Oh…ok, ok…” Cloud nodded, lowering his hand.

 

“Why, was it not…?”

 

“Ah, it was, just…you said good, but it sounded like you…you know…”

 

“Can we change the subject?” Aeris groaned, her face a deep enough shade of red to rival her jacket.

 

“Sure,” Cloud agreed. Silence once filled the room. “You did, didn't you?” Cloud asked.

 

“Gah, yes!” Aeris shouted, letting out a cry and turning to rest her forehead against the wall. “You done your little ego stroke now?”

 

“Sorry,” Cloud whispered. Aeris lifted her head and sighed deeply. Cloud thought for a moment, ruled out the questions that could wait, or were unimportant. Within a surprisingly short amount of time, he realized what he really wanted to know. “Do you…regret, what we did?” he asked, looking up at her. Aeris finally sat down on an easy chair next to the sofa where Cloud sat.

 

“No,” she said once she was seated. “But I feel bad that I don't because I think I should…what about you?”

 

“That sounds about right,” Cloud nodded. “I cheated on my girlfriend…I should feel like scum right now. But I don't. And that makes me feel like scum.”

 

“Cloud…” Aeris hesitated as Cloud turned towards her. “What…what…why did you sleep with me?” she settled on. Cloud closed his eyes.

 

“I wanted you,” he said. It was the truth, though perhaps he wasn't conveying what he meant in the best way he could have.

 

“You told me that. That's not what I meant,” Aeris replied, leaning forward. “You said last night, that you felt something powerful…what is it you feel?” Cloud licked his suddenly dry lips and opened his eyes.

 

“I…I think I'm in love with you,” he admitted, turning towards her.

 

“Think?”

 

“Well…I don't think I've ever been in love before, so I'm not sure,” Cloud explained. “Aeris, I'm sorry I can't give you a straight answer, but I can't even give myself one. This is all new to me, I have no idea what I'm doing, and I don't wanna screw this up because I've already pretty much guaranteed I'll lose Tifa and if I lose you too I'm alone and all this…” Cloud trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence. He didn't want to think about the possibility of losing both the women in life just because he couldn't handle the situation of having two of them.

 

“I get it…really, it's ok,” Aeris said, reaching over to pat the back of Cloud's hand. Cloud turned his hand over and gripped hers like a lifeline.

 

“And you?” Cloud asked. “What do you feel?” Aeris visibly hesitated.

 

“I…I can't give you the answer you want, Cloud, because I really don't know. I like you, I know that,” she answered.

 

“Well, no offense Aeris, but I usually don't have sex with people who `like' me,” Cloud said.

 

“I just haven't thought about it!” Aeris said angrily. “In case you've forgotten, three or four days ago you weren't my lover, you were my boss who had a girlfriend. I'm not used to thinking about you romantically.”

 

“That's fair I guess.”

 

“So….what happens now?” Aeris asked.

 

“I'm wondering that myself,” Cloud said. “I'm telling Tifa the first thing on Monday. What happens then…it's up to her.”

 

“Do you still want to be with her?” Cloud and Aeris locked eyes again, and Cloud heard the second question she hadn't voiced.

 

“I'm not sure….I just, need to think things over. I think we all do. Time to clear our heads, figure things out.”

 

“Yeah, I…yeah.” Aeris stood up and hugged herself. “I think you should go now.”

 

“Alright,” Cloud nodded, standing. He went to move past Aeris, and stopped. He looked at her and tried to figure out what, if anything, to do. Kiss her good-bye, hug her…Aeris looked up at him, and Cloud decided it didn't matter. After sex, a good-bye kiss was a minor thing to worry about. He pressed his lips to her forehead, sighing as he pulled back.

 

“If this doesn't work, if it hurts…I'm sorry.”

 

“I believe you.”

 

- - - - - - - - - -

 

Cloud stepped off the elevator in his apartment building, hanging his head and he walked to the door. He had felt horrible leaving, like he was walking out on Aeris. In a sense, he was, though not in the way it felt. He was telling her the truth, though. In a rare moment of clarity, Cloud knew he had to step back. He had taken a big step, and he had to take a good long look at the next ones available to him before he did something stupid.

 

“Hey, Spiky!”

 

Cloud looked up to see Barret waving at him from the door to his apartment. Cid was leaning against the wall opposite.

 

“What are you two doing here?” Cloud asked, speeding up.

 

“I called ya last night, ya didn't answer. So I called again this morning, still no answer. I called your neighbor, she said you never came home,” Cid said. “We were wondering what the hell happened to ya. You're okay right?”

 

“Uh…yeah, sort of,” Cloud shrugged, pulling out his keys.

 

“You don't look okay,” Cid objected as Cloud unlocked the door. “You look like you just got your dreams crushed boy. What the hell were you doing last night?” Cloud stopped a horribly inappropriate comeback.

 

“You coming inside?” he muttered instead, leaving the door open. Cid and Barret filed in, Barret closing the door behind him. Cloud walked into the kitchen and pulled open the fridge. He pushed aside the tub of margarine and the bottle of orange juice and reached for the six-pack of beer in the back, two bottles missing. He grabbed one and popped the cap, walking into the living room where his friends were sitting on the sofa.

 

“Beer on a Saturday morning,” Barret said. “You musta' had a really shitty night.”

 

“Actually,” Cloud corrected, sitting down in a chair and taking a drink. “I had a great night. It's the morning and the next few days that are going to be hell.”

 

“This ain't makin' any sense, what did ya do last night?” Cid asked. Cloud clenched his eyes and let out a frustrated grunt. He had hoped to come home and just relax and think, he wasn't ready to deal with his friends and what they would think.

 

“It's not so much as what, its who,” he ground out. Cid's eyes widened.

 

“Shi…shit…”

 

“Whoa whoa!” Barret shouted, standing. “You were with someone last night? That it?”

 

“Yeah, that's it,” Cloud nodded.

 

“Who the hell was she?”

 

“It's the secretary!” Barret looked back as Cid snapped his fingers a few times. “Ah, ah…Aeris! It was her, right? The one you said you were all loopy over.”

 

“Aeris? The brunette at the dance class?”

 

“Yes,” Cloud sighed. “Feel free to keep shouting.”

 

“Damn right I will!” Barret replied. “Are you out of your damn mind? You had sex with a co-worker, there's that cushy job down the tube! And Tifa!”

 

“Hey, Barret,” Cid cut in.

 

“Do you have any idea what this is gonna do to her? Break her heart, that's what, unless you try and keep it secret. This is gonna ruin your entire life, ya know that, and-”

 

SMASH

 

Barret jumped as Cloud's bottle smashed against the wall, sending a shower of glass and beer around the room. Cid and Barret stared at the impact stain as Cloud pushed himself up.

 

“Of course I know that!” he roared. “You think I don't know? You think I haven't spent every second since waking up today thinking about it? My job, my apartment, my girlfriend, my reputation, and apparently my friends! I know, I could lose them all! You know what? It's too late to tell me that, because it's done! I slept with her, yeah, and I know it's gonna screw my life up but it happened, and I'm trying to deal with it! And it would be a lot easier without you yelling at me!”

 

Cloud finished and fell silent, glaring angrily at Barret. Barret gave him a stunned look and slowly sat down.

 

“Sorry man….sorry,” he whispered. Cloud took a deep breath and tried to calm himself. He had decency, he wasn't going to take out his frustrations on Aeris, or Tifa when she came back. Barret and Cid, on the other hand, could take it and shout back at him.

 

“So what are you gonna do?” Cid asked.

 

“I don't know…right now, I want to be alone, and think,” Cloud said. “I'm sorry for yelling, Barret, but…I know. I know it looks like I made a mistake, but…it doesn't feel like it. As far as I'm concerned, it isn't.”

 

“Depending on how this works, maybe it isn't,” Cid said quietly.

 

“I don't like it…” Barret shook his head. “Cloud, I've know you and Tifa for years, I can't approve of this. You know what it's going to do to her.”

 

“I do,” Cloud nodded. “Believe me when I say if I could make this easier, I would. But I can't. I don't want to hurt her, but I know I will. So as you can imagine, I feel like shit right now, and like I said, I was hoping I could be alone.”

 

“We hear ya,” Cid said, standing. “Let's go Barret.”

 

“Hey, we-”

 

“We wanted to check on him, make sure he's alive. We did, he is, let's go,” Cid insisted. Barret gave Cloud a long look, and stood up.

 

“I ain't happy with ya,” Barret said, looking down at him. “But I want to be able to happy with ya when it's all done, so…whatever decision ya make, make sure it's the right one.”

 

“I'm trying,” Cloud said. Cid grunted, and Barret followed him out. The door clicked shut behind them, leaving Cloud in his chair alone with his thoughts.

 

Next chapter, someone makes a comeback, someone reviewers have asked for….