Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Push It Arc ❯ Push It Songfic ( Chapter 1 )

Author's Notes: “Push It” is by the band Garbage and all rights apply to them. Squall, Seifer and all Final Fantasy stuff are not owned by me (mores the pity) and all rights apply to the lucky bastards who do own them. Slightly OOC behaviour by the lovely bishies here, but I'll play with them any way I want too in my sick and twisted brain. Feedback always welcome.

 

 

Push It

 

I was angry when I met you

I think I'm angry still

We can try and talk it over

If you say you'll help me out

 

I think I'd always felt the need to compete with Squall from the day we first met. I was scared and pissed at winding up with the other lost kids. The unwanted, toss-away ones. Something about Squall just pushed my buttons. I think I recognized, even at that young age, that I had found someone who was my equal if not my better. He always brought out a pure competitive streak in me. I think I'm still unreasonably angry about him being my better.

 

But what's done is done and the past is the past. I need to talk with Squall about all the stuff going on in my head. Maybe he'll help me sort this all out. I figure if he can save the whole damn world, one man should be a breeze. Since the Sorceress War, I've seen Squall in a new light. Not that he's changed much. It's more that I've been the one to change. So much has happened.

 

I catch up to Squall just as he's about to head into his office. Not really sure how he's going to react to what I have to say, I fall back on old patterns of behaviour.

 

“Hey, Squally-boy. I need to talk to you.”

 

Squall stops with his hand on the door and gives me one of his patented cold stares before walking into his office and leaving the door open behind him. I take that as a sign to enter and speak my piece.

 

Don't worry baby (don't worry baby)

No need to fight

Don't worry baby (don't worry baby)

We'll be alright

 

Squall seats himself behind his desk and waits for me to start. His blue-grey eyes watch me as I stride to one of the chairs in front of his desk and drop into it. I stare back at him and have to fight the urge to say something nasty just to get a reaction out of him. I love to see the Ice Princess loose it. He sits patiently and waits for me to begin. I wonder how long he'll sit there and wait and almost decide to see which of us will speak first. It shocks me when he's the first to speak.

 

“You wanted something, Seifer?” Squall asks in a cold voice.

 

“Don't worry, I won't take much of your time,” I sneer, my mood darkened by the tone of his voice alone.

 

Squall's stormy eyes freeze over and any emotion he may have felt is completely hidden from me. Irrationally, this pisses me off even though the freeze is my fault. I open my mouth to make a cutting comment about him being Shiva's Lover. I abruptly shut my mouth and sigh loudly when I realize that it won't help me in what I have to say to Squall.

 

“I didn't come here to fight with you; for once,” I take a deep breath before continuing. Squall is now eying me with something close to curiosity. I want to make things right between us before much more time passes. Before I loose my nerve, now that I've finally worked up the courage.

 

This is the noise that keeps me awake

My head explodes and my body aches

Push it, make the beats go harder

Push it, make the beats go harder

 

“I've been having dreams at night. I'm wondering about my sanity. They're about Ultimecia and what I did while I was her Knight. If I'm lucky, it wakes me up and I feel like my heads gonna explode. I swear I can hear her voice in my head again, even though I know she's gone. I try and push it away. All of it. The memories, the feelings, even sensations that I keep living over again in my dreams. The remembered power I felt when I was her Knight makes my heart beat harder. In those few moments, I want it again. All of it. Then something pushes at me. Beats at my brain and I snap out of it. Want to know what that is?”

 

When Squall says nothing and just raises an eyebrow at me, I take a deep breath and continue.

 

“It's you. I hear your voice and can feel you like a strong presence in my head, helping me resist Ultimecia. It's been confusing the crap outta me, Squall.”

 

Squall continues to look at me and knows that I'm not finished yet. We've always had a strange connection to each other. This next part is gonna be hard for me to say, but if I don't say it now, I never will. I think some of it's gonna be hard for Squall to hear and I'm hoping he doesn't take it badly.

 

I'm sorry that I hurt you

Please don't ask me why

I want to see you happy

I want to see you shine

 

“I know I've done things that most people won't forgive me for. I don't want their forgiveness. I don't give a damn about them. I want yours.”

 

I can see that I've caught him off guard. If I hadn't been watching him carefully for a reaction, I'm sure I would have missed the small crack in his icy composure. I take this as a small sign he'd like to hear more. I plough ahead.

 

“I'm sorry that I hurt you. Don't ask me why I've said and done the things that I have to you. That's a topic for another time. I've been forced to take a good look at myself and things that I once believed to be true. A lot was denial and outright lies to myself.”

 

Now was the hard part. I was setting myself up for a crushing blow if this went even half as bad as I thought it would. But, I was tired of living my life wrongly, again, when all I needed to do was speak up to set things right, for my own sanity.

 

“I don't think you're happy right now, Squall. I want to see you happy. The few times I can remember seeing you happy, you shined.”

 

Squall opened his mouth to protest but I waved him to silence. He surprised me by closing his mouth and looking at me with a further thawing in his eyes. I was sure that's what I was seeing there. It gave me courage to continue.

 

“In my dreams of saving me from Ultimecia, you shore me up against her. It's like we're connected on a deeper level. We've always had this connection, Squall. Yeah, most of the time it's involved us fighting each other physically or verbally, but the connection is there. We just seem to know what buttons to push with each other. It's taken me some time to figure out what that connection is.”

 

Squall is listening so intently it's almost enough to make me want to back down. As soon as that thought crosses my brain, the competitive nature in me kicks in and I suddenly stand up and begin pacing in front of the desk. I have to say this right when I can't think of any way to say it but bluntly, which might get a gunblade pulled on me.

 

How does a man tell another man that he wants to fuck him silly without getting a weapon pulled on him? I didn't think I could just blurt out that I had recently come to the conclusion that I was bi and that Squall was the one I wanted to be my first guy fuck. I pace for several minutes, agitated because what I need to say will forever change the strange relationship Squall and I have.

 

Don't worry baby (don't worry baby)

Don't be uptight

Don't worry baby (don't worry baby)

We'll stay up all night

 

“It's sexual isn't it?”

 

I whirl around, stunned into silence at Squall's quiet words. I nod dumbly at him wondering what tipped him off to what I was going to say. It never occurred to me that I wouldn't be the only one thinking over the connection we seemed to share.

 

It should have. Squall is one of the most intense thinkers I have ever known. It's always the quiet ones you have to watch out for.

 

“What do you want to do about it?” Squall asked as he rose from behind his desk and came to stand in front of me.

 

“I…err…” I had never really thought much further than just telling Squall about the conclusion I had come to. Most scenarios I had thought about involved drawn weapons and bloodshed.

 

A corner of Squall's mouth twitched upwards in a tiny smile and made me feel uneasy. I checked the office quickly for his gunblade and felt a little better when I didn't immediately see it. Not a whole lot better since I knew he was junctioned, but a little better.

 

“I know what I want to do about it,” Squall said as his eyes raked me from head to toe. “But don't worry. I won't do anything you don't want me to,” Squall said as he lightly touched my chest. I sucked in a sharp breath, confused over Squall's behaviour and uncertain what he expected from me.

 

“Don't be so uptight, Seifer. You believe that this…connection we share is sexual. I'm okay with it. I've known I'm bi for a long time. Aren't you?” Squall asked with a hint of a challenge in his voice.

 

I was floundering and Squall knew it. He leaned close and whispered against my lips, “Don't worry baby, we'll stay up all night to find out, if we need to.” before brushing his lips against mine.

 

This is the noise that keeps me awake

My head explodes and my body aches

Push it, make the beats go harder

Push it, make the beats go harder

 

A roaring fills my head at the first touch of Squall's lips against mine. That first gentle touch becomes more forceful when he realizes that I'm not going to push him away. The feel is electric and when he slips his tongue between my lips to coax my own out to play, I feel as if my head is gonna explode and my body aches from desire suddenly let loose with a simple kiss.

 

I grab Squall's arms and return the kiss as forcefully as he is giving it. The kiss is fast becoming a battle of tongues that soon has both of us breathless. Squall is gripping my arms as hard as I'm holding his. I know we're both going to have bruises in the shape of fingers later, but I don't care. Our bodies shift subtly together and apart as we both try to claim dominance. Squall gets the advantage over me by pushing me back against his desk and tearing his mouth from mine to lick a line up my throat. The blood in my body is all rushing to one place and making it beat harder.

 

I let go of one of Squall's arms and drop my hand to his leather clad groin. My bold move makes him moan against my throat and nip at the skin none to lightly. I gasp in pleasure/pain and push against the erection straining his leathers. Squall moans again against my throat and returns the favour by sliding his hand to my own erection and pushing against it through my jeans. Suddenly, Squall stops and pulls away from me.

 

“Clothes off,” Squall orders as he starts shrugging out of his jacket and tugging at the belts around his waist.

 

I watch with hungry eyes as each piece of clothing hits the floor until Squall is standing in front of me gloriously nude and aroused. Eyes turned a smoky grey with desire look me over in my semi-reclined position against his desk and one eyebrow raises. Taking that look as a challenge, I strip off my clothes just as quickly as Squall did until I'm facing him as naked and aroused as he is.

 

I hear a low growl escape and I'm surprised to find it comes from my own throat. I reach for Squall and pull him into me. We both hiss in pleasure as bare skin finally meets bare skin. A low moan escapes from Squall as I rub my body against his. This is the sound that has kept me awake, hard and aching at night. I never thought I'd hear it for real. My imagination didn't do justice to the heavy, wanting sound that Squall was making. I push my hips against Squall's and feel his cock surge against mine. I find myself moaning in counterpoint to Squall as we simply stand locked together, pushing against one another.

 

Squall is the first to break away. I growl low and try to grab him back to me, but he simply drops to his knees in front of me and licks a line up my cock from base to tip. I have to lean against the desk when my legs suddenly feel weak. Squall looks up at me from under his bangs before taking the head into his mouth. I groan at the wet heat and grab fists full of his hair to hold him in place. I can feel him smile around my erection before he starts to swallow the length. Squall doesn't stop until his nose is pressed against the curls at the base. Squall's hand comes up to cup my balls and roll them gently before he starts to work my cock up and down with his mouth.

 

I sigh in bliss as I watch Squall suck me off. It's the most erotic thing I've ever seen in my life. Hot, wet suction from his mouth and the gentle touch of his fingers on my balls make me want to pump into his mouth until I come. I start fucking his mouth, gasping at the feel of his tongue stroking the underside while his teeth lightly rake the top of my cock. I pump his mouth faster as I feel my orgasm building.

 

Squall resists my urging him on and lets my cock slide from his mouth. I almost whimper at the loss of the wet heat. Squall rises from the floor, licks his lips and goes to rummage around in a drawer of his desk. He walks back to me and kneels again with a tube in one hand. He flips the cap and squirts a generous glob into his hand before smearing it on my cock. The smell of chocolate and cherries comes to me. The lube feels cool at first but warms quickly and when Squall takes me back into his mouth, the heat is incredible and I can't help the little thrust of my hips as I start to fuck his mouth again.

 

C'mon push it, you can do it

C'mon push it, nothing to it

C'mon use it, let's get through it

C'mon push it, you can do it

 

Squall encourages me by making little approving noises in his throat. The vibrations on my suddenly sensitive cock make me moan and push as far as I can into Squall's mouth. When Squall has taken all of me into his mouth, I feel a light, slick touch at the crack of my ass. I jump slightly and try to move away from the probing finger. I can't go far with my dick buried in Squall's mouth and as he sucks hard on it, I find I don't want to.

 

A finger slides into me and I squirm a little at the feel. Then the finger starts to withdraw at the same time that Squall starts to pull back from my cock. He sets up a rhythm of mouth and finger that soon has me gasping and panting his name. My hands are back in his hair, encouraging him to continue with his motions. I feel the second finger slide in and groan at the fuller feel. I was unprepared for the starburst of pleasure when Squall touches something inside me. I cry out with pleasure at the sensation and grind my ass down on Squall's fingers as much as I can.

 

Squall begins to work his fingers in my ass faster and soon adds a third. He's now hitting that pleasure spot with every push and bobbing his head faster. I'm close to the edge when I slit my eyes open and take in the sight of Squall, Commander of the Garden, kneeling between my legs, my cock buried in his mouth. My body tenses and I moan long and low as I send my seed down Squall's throat. Over the pulses of my orgasm, I can feel Squall swallowing and I shudder at the sensations. Squall pulls his fingers from my ass and lets my cock slip from his mouth. He licks his lips before leaning in to kiss me. He tastes of chocolate, cherries, me and a subtle flavour that is entirely his own.

 

Squall takes my hand and squirts some of the lube into my palm. He brings my hand to his erection and wraps my hand around it. His breath hisses out of him with pleasure. Holding my hand on his cock, he starts to stroke himself with my hand, moaning at the feel. I can feel the blood pulse through him with every beat of his heart and the sultry, aroused look on his face makes my own blood pump faster. When Squall gently removes my hand after only a few more strokes, I'm a little confused. He pushes me back against his desk and hooks one of my legs with his arm. I feel his cock nudging my ass and instinctively tense up.

 

“Relax, Seifer. You can do it. There's nothing to it.”

 

I'm still tense when Squall leans close and whispers into my ear, “If you get a rod while I fuck you, you can fuck me after I come.”

 

I feel my cock twitch in response and try to relax my muscles. The promise of fucking Squall's ass like I've been dreaming about for months is too good to pass up. I feel Squall press his cock against my ass again and hiss at the sting when the head slides into me. Squall waits for me to adjust to the feel of him before he moves any further. I can feel him throbbing, barely inside me and it makes me want to squirm.

 

“C'mon use it, Squall,” I pant, aroused by the feel of him inside my body. “Push it in. I'm not made of glass. Fuck me like you want to.”

 

Squall growls low in his throat and does what I tell him to. The feeling is strange and arousing and as Squall starts pumping my ass, I find myself getting hard again. Squall leans into me and makes me grunt from the feel of him fully seated in my body. His cock brushes against the spot his fingers had been teasing and I feel a rush of intense pleasure again. I never thought I'd be the one getting fucked. But at this moment, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

 

“God, Seifer. I've wanted to fuck you for so long,” Squall groans as he starts pumping my ass harder and faster. Every thrust is hitting that sweet spot I never knew I had and making more blood rush to my cock until it's almost painful. Squall has closed his eyes and is lost in the pleasure of stroking in and out of my ass. He's beautiful to watch and I can't wait to plant my now throbbing cock in his ass.

 

Squall gives me a few more violent thrusts before his whole body tenses and a ragged moan escapes him. I feel his cock pulse deep in my ass and the hot liquid he spurts. It's almost enough to have me grab my own cock and jerk off to join him in another release. But I have other plans for my erection.

 

Don't worry baby (don't worry baby)

Don't be uptight

Don't worry baby (don't worry baby)

We'll stay up all night

 

I barely give Squall time to catch his breath before pushing him off me. We both groan as he slides from my body. He looks both surprised and a little angry.

 

“Don't worry Squall, we're not done yet. I'm hard again, so I guess it's my turn to fuck your ass now. You did say we'll stay up all night if we have to, didn't you?” I challenge him.

 

Squall scoops the lube from the floor and slaps it into my hand. I take it and grab his arm and spin him around before bending him over his desk. I squirt the lube over my fingers before stroking them down the crack of his ass, impatient to be buried deep in the ass I've been dreaming about for some time now.

 

This is the noise that keeps me awake

My head explodes and my body aches

Push it, make the beats go harder

Push it, make the beats go harder

 

Squall wriggles under my hand and his breath catches when I circle the tight hole presented me by his bent over position. I push my finger into Squall, amazed and aroused at how tight it feels. I just know I'm gonna love fucking his ass every chance I get. I twist my finger and get a little gasp from Squall. I start to work his ass slowly, only adding another finger when Squall starts to pant and push himself back onto my hand. The little sound of protest he makes when I remove my fingers to lube up my cock will keep me awake for nights to come.

 

I slide the head of my cock around Squall's prepared opening and enjoy watching him twist to try and capture me. Finally, I push into him and feel ready to explode at the tight, hot body clenching around my cock. It feels even better as I slide more fully into Squall. I now have a heavy ache in my balls that demands action and release.

 

I push into Squall hard. He moans and gasps under me and that's all it takes before I start slamming into his tight ass. I know he'll have bruises on his hips from the hard contact of the desk and the grip of my fingers, but I don't think either one of us cares. I push into him harder, knowing he can take it and that he wants it. Squall pushes back as much as he can against me, panting and grunting in time with my violent thrusts. I'm hoping that he's feeling the same pleasures that I did when he was doing me.

 

“I'm coming, Squall,” I grind out as I shove my cock into him as far as I can. The orgasm runs through me like a freight train. Squall shudders under me and gasps. I feel little flutters around my sensitive cock and realize Squall is getting little pleasure jolts from the feel of me coming in his ass.

 

Don't worry baby

We'll be alright

Don't worry baby

We'll be alright

 

I collapse over Squall's back, both of us panting and sweat slicked. I don't want to move from the tight heat of Squall's ass, but my softening cock slips out and we both groan. I'm sweaty, tired, have just fucked and been fucked by a man. I can feel his come trickling out of my ass and yet I feel more relaxed than I ever have in my life. I feel like I've come home. I sigh in contentment.

 

“Don't worry, Seifer. We'll be alright,” Squall says softly, mistaking my sigh for something else. Regret maybe.

 

“Yeah, we'll be alright, Squall. As long as I get to keep on fucking your sweet ass, we'll be alright.”

 

Push it

Push it

Push it

Push it

Push it

 

“Whatever. I get to do you too. You've got a pretty sweet ass yourself.”

 

“Don't push it, Squally-boy,” I say with a smile against his back. I may have acknowledged what kind of connection we share, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to be the top in our new relationship. If anything, it only makes me want to see how much better I can be at it than Squall. It's always been a competition between us.

 

Let the games begin.