Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Question For an Old Man ❯ Question for an Old guy ( Chapter 1 )

I do not own FFX, Squaresoft does. There I said it, so let me go cry in the corner.

 

 

Rikku: “Hey Auron, what's in the jug?”

 

Auron: “Prune juice.”

 

Rikku: “What!”

 

Auron: “Yes I am that old, and now I have a question for you.”

 

Rikku: “What… is it”

 

Auron: “Can you change my diaper?”

 

Rikku: “….Bye!” runs off into the forest.

 

Auron: Takes a swig of his sake. “Muahahahaha, that was great! Now she will never mess with me again!

 

Out from behind a tree steps a beautiful Shiba Inu, Aria. “Yeah, but you know that everyone will think you wear diapers from now on, right?” “Aw, but then they will never fear me again, and they will no longer wet their pants when I stare at them!” Auron whined like a little kid. “Just tell them you were joking, okay?” “Fine, I'll tell them.”

 

When he walked into camp, Aria at his side, he got just the response he was expecting. “Bwahahahahaha, finally I have found your weakness! Now I will get you back for all of those times you made me, The Great Tidus, feel stupid!” said the idiot known as Tidus, no The Great in front of that name .-_-“ “Tidus, I was just joking, I don't wear diapers and I don't drink prune juice!” He pours a bit of sake out and Aria laps it up of the ground “See no color; I just said that to get Rikku to leave me alone. Now I'm going to sleep so this conversation is over”

 

He turned to leave but heard snickering behind his back. “What!” he turned around angrily but everyone's attention was on the ground. “Uh, Brudda, I think you better get your dog.” Wakka said with obvious mirth in his voice. Auron looked down and got a shock. Aria was rolling around on the ground, obviously extremely drunk. She was singing “In My Car” by The Pack in the most drunken tone Auron has ever heard. “Looks like you can give Jecht a run for his money.” Auron chuckled as he picked the intoxicated dog up.

“I love you, let's get married!” Aria said, drunk out of her mind. “Sorry but I can't get married to you. There's a bit of an age difference with us.” Auron said jokingly. “But I'm seven years old!” “Exactly.” said the 35-year-old. “Maybe when you are eighteen years older I might think about it” “But I'll be dead!” Auron shook his head and sighed. “Lets go.” He walked to his tent but dropped Aria just outside of the tent. “Sorry but I don't want you doing anything to me while I'm sleep.” “No, my beloved!” cried Aria. “Oh well, I might as well bother Seymour Butts.” Aria ran off into the forest to parts unknown.

 

“Uh guys, why was Auron talking to that dog?” said a very confused Rikku. “I think we drove him crazy! We did it Rikku!” said Tidus as he and Rikku hopped around happily. Lulu smacked herself on the forehead. “These kids are driving me crazy.” “I'm not crazy!” Auron shouted from his tent.

 

 

 

Sorry but I don't have much time on the computer. Anyone who has read “Why You Shouldn't Stare at the Sun” will know Kiba's oddball mother from the chapter of the same title. Please review, I miss it.