Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Random Acts of Stupidity ❯ Prologue

Random Acts of Stupidity

By Aeris

The following are pointless little things I decided to write down. Most of them center on Sephiroth and Aeris. And don't go bitching about it. If you feel the need to flame, by all means, DON'T. Of course, nice, pleasant comments are welcome. And don't read any of this if you are offended by extreme cussing, stupidity, and immorality.

Act #1- Drinking binge

(Seph and Aeris are sitting on the couch together)

Aeris: "I'm bored."

Seph: "Me too."

Aeris: "I'm gonna go look for something to drink." (gets up)

Seph: "Ok."

(five minutes later Aeris returns with a case of beer and a bottle of wine)

Seph: (blink) "Where'd you get all that?"

Aeris: "Shop down the block. Beer for now, wine for later.." (winks)

Seph: (smirks)

(Aeris opens the case of beer and hands Seph a can)

Aeris: "I got an idea…. Let's have a drinking contest!"

Seph: "Sounds good. What's the prize?"

(Aeris whispers something in his ear)

Seph: "I'm in! Let's go."

Aeris: "Hehe, we win either way though."

(Seph downs one can and starts on the next just as Aeris finishes chugging hers. Eventually the case is empty, and they both drank 12 equal cans.)

Seph and Aeris: (hiccup) "It's a tie."

Act #2- Quistis's Secret Life

Irvine: (to the tune of "It's a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood") "It's a beautiful day in the slums today, even better at the Honeybee Inn." (hums)

Guard: (stands in front of Irvine) "Please show your Member ID, sir."

(Irvine flashes his 'Frequent Flyer' Honeybee Inn Member card.)

Guard: (moves out of the way) "Ahem, right this way sir."

Irvine: "I know my way around…" (wink)

(Irvine walks inside and makes his way to the $%@# room.)

Irvine: "Always was my favorite…" (walks in)

Honeybee: "Welcome to the $%@# room sir. It's my duty to make your-wait a minute, Irvine!?!?"

Irvine: "Quistis!?!?"

Quistis: "Oh dear… well I'll just be on my way…"

Irvine: (blocks exit) "Not until I get my money's worth."

Act #3- Cloud likes to cross-dress-the scenes Square didn't want you to see!!

Director: "And-action!"

Cloud: (comes out of the dressing room) "Does this dress make me look fat?"

*beep, cut*

"Action."

Cloud: (looking at the newly acquired brown wig) "This wig smells like somebody's-"

*beep, cut*

"Grr….action…."

(Cloud comes out in the dress and wig, and a gust of wind blows in the room)

Aeris: "…this is just disturbing. I'm taking my coffee break." (goes over to Seph at the coffee table)

*beep, cut*

Director: "Since Cloud is a dork, we decided to do the cross dressing scene by computer."

Aeris: "Thank god."

Seph: (glaring at Cloud) "Don't scare me or my girlfriend again you yaoi bastard."

Cloud: "…Who am I…?"

Act #4- Hojo Studies the Bug Up His Ass

Hojo: (looking at several X-rays) "I am studying insecta asshola.

Seph: (walks by and chucks a M-80 into Hojo's lab)

**BOOM**

Hojo: "… Experiment failed. Conclusion- next time, shut the windows."

Act #5- Tin foil

Shadow (FF6): "…" (staring at a piece of shiny tin foil. His mouth is wide open)

Fujin: (walking by, stops, and joins in too) "…"

Vincent: (walks by and stops, and joins in) "…"

Raijin: (walks by, stops, and joins in too) "… (loudly) hey! This is some shiny tin foil, y'know? But you know what's even shinier is…"

(Vincent and Shadow leave; Fujin kicks Raijin in the knee)

Raijin: "Ouch, y'know?!"

~Author's note: I don't have one damn clue as to what I've been drinking. I don't have one damn clue as to why I wrote this either. Let me know what you think though. I'll probably add more in the near future. I'm just too lazy to do it now. Ja-ne!~