Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Renaissance ❯ reloading ( Chapter 1 )

Renaissance

Chapter Two. Reloading.

By Kyriadalyn

Thank you to all of those who reviewed, you gave me the boost to keep going. I was a little sketchy about posting this at first, so I really appreciate the support.

I sure hope I don't screw this up.

Seifer, Squall, etc. are not mine. (obviously) Stephan, any other original characters, and Squall's frickin' house, however, is mine. DO NOT STEAL THEM. Or Faye Valentine will come to your house and eat you.

Really.

That is all.

***

Seifer slammed the shelf shut and swore. Then the handle broke off.

Seifer swore again, only louder this time.

Squall's disappearance had really pissed him off. Quistis and the others had been heartbroken. Even if they had all acted fine, he knew they were heartbroken. This whole running away thing was total bullshit. He couldn't believe Squall had just run off like that. It was just such a stupid thing to do. He knew Squall did stupid things, but he never done anything this stupid before.

The prick.

Even his explanation for it was stupid. Just a few words scribbled on paper.

Sorry about this. I have to go.

You'll be fine without me.

I leave my position to Quistis if she wants it.

Thank you for all the help you gave me.

Don't worry about me, and don't try to find me.

Squall.

What kind of bullshit is that?

Although, Chicken-wuss's reaction had been pretty funny.

But what the hell! That was supposed to be an explanation? Squall's leaving didn't make any sense. It didn't make any sense and Seifer was tearing himself apart trying to figure it out. If anything, that was what pissed him off the most.

Squall had left. Seifer probably could have dealt with it, if he had been given a reason. But he wasn't. Squall had left without a word, and that was what pissed him off.

He never said anything, he never asked. He didn't tell anyone where he was going. He never even considered what any of his friends might have said about the matter.

Then again, he doubted that Squall considered him a friend.

But that was besides the point.

Squall hadn't stopped to think how other people might have felt about him leaving, and he had always thought that Squall was better than that. That was what made Squall the hero, when he was the villain. Squall wasn't supposed to be selfish; and running off like he did was the most self-centered thing Seifer could think of.

And he still had no idea why Squall had done it, dammit.

Sighing, he got up from his chair and dropped the broken handle onto the desk.

Three days and he had already broken something.

Seifer ran his hand through his hair and surveyed his new dorm room.

It was pretty small. But it was nice, and it was home. It was a home that he had thought he'd lost and he was so glad to have it back.

The walls were a kind of grayish color and the floor was covered in carpet of a slightly darker grey.

The people who had designed this place had obviously not been big on diversity.

His old trench coat was hanging on a peg on the door.

It had been hanging there for the last three days.

He couldn't really bring himself to wear it anymore. He felt too different now from what he used to be. It had become the symbol of everything he had done wrong in his life and it disgusted him. The blood cross would be famous. It would parade across the newly connected television lines, the news shows and the ever-present media. It would exist in infamy from now on in every history book that will ever be written and he hated it.

He had spent two hours the night before last staring at it in fear. Fear of what had happened to him, fear that it might happen again.

Fear of what he might become if it did.

Seifer wondered what it would have been like if he had never left the Garden that day.

He wished he could stop thinking like this.

He stepped out of the dorm room with a violent slam of the door. He didn't even glance at the coat hanging on its hook. He didn't dare to.

Walking down the halls of Balamb Garden was yet another exersize in willpower. Whispers and suspicious glances always followed in the wake of his passing. Every step he took was watched and judged.

He stopped by the infirmary to see Quistis before he went to class. She had been the first and warmest one to welcome him back, oddly enough, and it had made her seem a lot safer than most of the Garden.

Quistis had become the assistant to Dr. Kadowaki after relinquishing her role as Headmaster to some guy named Nida. The only thing she had kept was the job of official Garden representative. Quistis always did have a bit of politician in her.

Seifer thought it was kind of weird that someone he had never even heard of was now the new Headmaster, but according to Quistis, he had been invaluable during her brief career as the commander of Garden. She said that she had been doing a lousy job, though Seifer hadn't noticed anything wrong, so he couldn't really say. Apparently this Nida guy had been the one piloting the Garden during the war. Seifer was kind of surprised he hadn't heard of him before.

"Hey Quistis," he said as he leaned into the doorway.

Quistis was writing something in one of those medical file things and she looked mildly pleased to see him. Seifer figured she must have been really bored. He doubted she would have wanted to see him otherwise.

"Hello Seifer. How are you today?" She said, leaning back in her chair. She was wearing one of those doctor coats, which Seifer never ceased to find amusing when worn by her.

"I'm fine. You look ravishing, as usual, my dear instructor," he replied, flourishing an imaginary hat.

He had returned to his old flirting and teasing very quickly after returning to the Garden. People actually seemed to accept him faster when he did. Not to mention, it was so much easier to just fall back into his old roles than to try and face what he'd done. He wouldn't be able to handle it if he didn't.

He just pretended it had never happened, just like everyone else in the gang.

"You're such a charmer. But remember, I'm not an instructor anymore," she chided him.

"You may not be an instructor anymore, Quistis, but you'll always be my instructor," He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"In your dreams Mr. Almasy, in your dreams." She was smiling though.

He clutched his heart in mock pain. "Such harsh words!" he said and then straightened and said, "Besides, I already have you in my dreams, Quisty."

Quistis rolled her eyes at him and he grinned.

"You are absolutely insufferable, Seifer. Now what do want from me?" She said, standing up and taking the folder she had just finished over to the file cabinet on the left wall. Seifer opened his mouth to make a comment about just what he wanted from her, but she cut him off, adding wryly, " I mean besides the obvious."

"Besides your body you mean?" he asked with a smirk.

"Yes, besides that," she said sliding the folder in with the dozens of others.

"Well," he started, suddenly feeling very awkward, " I was just wondering if you had, you know, heard anything from him yet. I mean, `cause it's not like he would write to me so, you know…" He trailed off and the room was seemed suddenly silent.

Quistis had her back to him and she had gone very still.

"No," she said quietly, not turning. "I haven't heard anything yet."

He should have known that there wouldn't be any news. He had known that the chances of there being any word were small, but for some reason he was still horribly disappointed. All of a sudden he didn't want to be in this room anymore. Not even with Quisty. Seifer wanted to get out of this room. He wanted to get out of it now. He shouldn't have asked Quistis about Squall. He should have known that it would have been awkward. He should have known that it would upset her.

He desperately tried to make a reasonable exit before she got mad at him. He didn't want Quistis to get mad at him. She had been the first to forgive him.

"Alright then, I'm just gonna get to class then. Sorry to bug you," he was already half way out the door. "I'll, uh, talk to you later, ok Quistis?"

"Seifer?" She called, just as he was finally leaving.

"Yeah?" he asked, in a small voice.

"I don't… I don't think I'm going to hear from him Seifer," she said softly, almost to quietly to hear.

"I know," he replied, a little sadly. "I know…"

They were both very quiet for a while.

"Quistis?"

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry for everything."

He hadn't planned on saying that. He didn't know why he had. He just did. And now he was terrified at what she would say back. He closed his eyes tightly in apprehension. If he'd ruined everything just after he'd gotten it all back he'd die.

Suddenly there were arms around him. He opened his eyes to see Quistis embracing him tightly, desperately, as if she was afraid that by letting him go this one time, she would lose him forever.

"And I'm sorry for letting you down when you needed me most," she said roughly into his shirt.

Seifer hugged her back and they stayed that way for a while.

Because everything was okay now.

***

Squall pulled up the long driveway with an inner sigh of relief.

Thank Hyne.

Stephan was turning out to be a lot more work than he had initially thought.

Squall had planned coming to the house on foot. After all, it would be a lot cheaper and it wasn't like he couldn't make it alone. The problem was, he wasn't alone.

The first hour or so had been fine, until Stephan started to get bored. He squirmed in Squall's grasp and finally Squall gave up and let him walk on his own. That solved the first problem. Then they had to slow down because regardless of energy levels, and Stephan seemed to be more full of energy than even Selphie, Stephan was still a whole lot smaller than Squall. Which meant much smaller legs. What should have taken a day, took two, and by the end of the second day, Squall simply gave up and rented a car.

It was much, much simpler.

Well, it was until Stephan got bored again.

Although Squall must admit, a day and a half stuck in a car is not exactly thrills and chills. Especially for a five year old.

Squall had to give him credit though. There were a great deal of things he should have thought of before he got Stephan, and Squall was now realizing just how lucky he was to have gotten such an understanding kid. Stephan had been great about all their traveling. A cheap coloring book and crayons that Squall had bought him at one of the many frequented gas stations** had kept him busy for hours.

Squall had never thought there could be so much amusement found in a coloring book and crayons. It was kind of remarkable, really.

And when Stephan had finally filled the book completely, Squall just bought him another one.

Squall wished he had thought of the idea earlier.

As it was, they had made it to the house Squall had bought in one piece. Stephan had fallen asleep at around 8:30 and so Squall got out of the car as quietly as possible. He checked quickly to see if Stephan was still asleep in the car, and seeing that he was, he went into the house to set up somewhere for them to sleep.

The house was perched up high on an enormous bluff, right by the ocean. The outside was painted a misty blue and it had big, open windows the glittered dully in the midnight darkness. The house itself was huge. It wasn't particularly big in terms of height, it was only two floors, but it stretched out languidly over the land. You couldn't tell from the front, but the back of the house also had a porch with stairs that led down to the beach behind the building. Squall had gotten his money's worth.

It was a very nice house.

And best of all, in Squall's opinion anyway, there wasn't a neighbor in sight.

The house was actually separated far away from the rest of the town. About four miles away to be more precise. Squall liked the distance that it put between him and all those strangers. It was more comfortable that way. Sure, it might prove to be a little inconvenient when Stephan started going to school, but Squall figured that driving Stephan there himself would hardly be a problem.

Squall opened the front door with a click and stepped inside.

The walls were all either white or some light shade of grey, that gave the place a ghostly sort of feel to it. The floors were polished wood paneling and the furniture was all very modern-esque. Most of the house was decorated in black, white, or some shade of grey. Squall thought it was kind of boring, it reminded him of his old cadet dorm. He hoped the whole house wasn't all like this. He would have to do something about that if it was. After all, he may be able to deal with monochrome housing, but it would probably be somewhat damaging to the five year old's psyche to have so little color around him.

Maybe he'd let Stephan take his crayons to the walls.

At the moment though, he was just glad that there was already furniture and beds for him and Stephan to sleep on. He didn't really feel up to setting anything up right now.

Squall walked slowly up the front hallway and into what appeared to be his new living room.

He was pretty impressed. Monochrome decorating all aside, it was pretty nice.

The room was big, very big. It was large and open. He had the impression that it got a lot of light during the daytime, though it was kind of hard to tell how much light a room gets at twelve a.m. There were two doors on the right wall of the room, and a small hallway as well. There was also a door at the back of the room, obviously leading out to the back porch. The left side of the room had an enormous half wall that led into the kitchen and another open doorway that led to what looked like the dining room.

The kitchen and dining room looked pretty nice from what he could tell so far.

Everything in the kitchen looked new and spotless. It was done in white and grey, with black and white swirled marble for the counters.

This black and white thing was just getting ridiculous.

Had the previous owner been color blind or something?

There was a yet another door at the back of the kitchen. Squall had figured that it must have been a storage closet or something, but it wasn't. It was another room. A very large, and very empty room. The room appeared to be unfinished, the walls still a blank and featureless white, and the whole thing devoid of any furniture of any kind.

That was interesting.

He left the empty room and promised to look at it more closely later.

He took a quick look at the dining room before moving onto the right side of the house. The dining room was big too, with a large black table and chairs set in the center. The house was so visually boring. He thought he might just go insane with the complete lack of color.

He was definitely going to have to do something about this.

He moved on to the rest of the house and he checked the two doors on the right first before going down the hall.

The first door led to the first of what he knew to be two full bathrooms. The floor was covered in white marble veined with gold. The counter and sink were made of the same stone, only black this time. There was a huge, deep set, white porceline bathtub with black curtains. The walls were painted white with grey faded in and out of them. It was an expensive looking bathroom, as far as bathrooms go anyway. He wasn't looking for a bathroom right now though.

And Hyne! All this black and white!

The second door led to some kind of parlor. At least, Squall thought it was a parlor. He had never actually seen a parlor before. It looked comfortable anyway. It had big black leather couches in it. Not bad.

Since his search for a place to sleep had been as of yet unfruitful, he decided to check upstairs.

He just needed to find the stairs.

Squall found the stairs to the second floor at the end of the hallway leading from the main room. There was a door on the left wall of the hallway that led to one of the three bedrooms. Squall figured that the rest of them must be upstairs.

He climbed the stairs and found a long hallway. Three doors lined the right side of the hallway, and there was another at the very end. The first door was to a large, and formidably library.

Squall had now had his own library.

That was weird.

He supposed it could be interesting though.

Moving on.

The second door went to another bedroom and so did the next. The door at the end of the hall led to another bathroom. This one decorated in (gasp!) shades of beige and white.

His search finally successful, Squall headed back downstairs and outside to get Stephan. He hoped that Stephan liked the house. He would change the coloring as quickly as possible anyway though.

He walked down the gravel drive slowly, feeling peaceful for the first time in what seemed like years. Maybe this would work out after all.

As he opened the door, Squall felt his heart stop and the peaceful feeling that he had just finally attained, flutter away.

Stephan wasn't in the car.

***

** Ever notice how there are no gas stations in FFVIII. Yes? No. Yeah, well I'm a giant dork, so sue me. I have always wondered about that though…It's like a fuel conspiracy…or not.

Anyway.

Heh.

Cliffhanger. Oh the fun. I love giving out cliffhangers. Probably because they drive me up the wall. Ah, revenge.

Oh, and just so you know, it took me over an hour to set up Squall's frickin' house. Stupid house. I had all these cool ideas and they just refused to fit into one house. Let me tell you, this house, is huge. Trust me. I have the whole house drawn on paper, floor plans and all. Oh the headaches.

And also, I was asked how one pronounces Stephan's name. Here is your answer.

Stephan's name is pronounced Stef-an, not Steven. I was actually unaware that it could even be pronounced like Steven until somebody told me so. Go figure. So yeah, the ph in his name is supposed to sound like an `f', not a `v'.

Now you know.

Read and respond.

That is all.

Kyrie.