Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Reprimand Me, For I Have Sinned ❯ Reprimand Me, For I Have Sinned ( One-Shot )

By: Squall-sama

Pairings: CidxVincentxCloud =^_^=

Warnings: NC-17—LEMON! ANGST!! MAJOR SQUICK-ishness! If you don't like that sort of thing, or your stomach can't handle it—then I suggest you stop where you read! BIG TIME Sap and FLUFF towards the end. okay, yes, see… this is the W-A-R-N-I-N-G! That's right, warning! Anybody who doesn't like the ratings of what I put on here—GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE!!! I'm not liable for some dumb-ass kid or adult that has nothing better to do than act stupid and flame me because they can't read. But if you like MALExMALE SEX!!! Then come right on in and enjoy!=^_^=

Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't sue me; Square Soft, Playstation and Sony Arts own them—not me!

Notes: This is the first time I've ever written something so… gory (in my opinion at least) so bear with me, k?! Oh, yes, and some people might think, by the way I write that my fics are all going to turn into deathfics? NO-WAY!!! I HATE deathfics and I will NEVER write them, so there! Also, I know it seems I might have favored Cloud in this—but I couldn't help it. Originally I couldn't decide who to pair Vincent with, so I just went with both!

 

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~Reprimand Me, For I Have Sinned~

 

Eyes.

 

Tears.

 

Voices.

 

Blood….

 

The bouquet of roses laying upon the small table staring back at me—laughing it seems… bites on my nerves; the brilliant red a drastic contrast to my stark white skin. Shut up.

 

I glare at them, as if it will do any good—like I will get any kind of reaction out of them. I frown at my immaturity—turning my burning gaze to the mirror across from me. I glare back at myself—my horrid white skin and flashy black hair and the eyes… my eyes, the bloody red that they are—the awful reminder of who I was, what I had done to bring this kind of torture into my life…… what I am now….

 

I quickly tear my eyes away from the disgusting vision before me, only to have them land on yet, more evidence of what I have become—reminding me of what I am and always will be—a monster.

 

Already feeling the damned blood tears welling up in my eyes, I clench the fabricated metal claw into as tight a fist as I can, hearing the almost unbreakable substance groan and grind as metal slices through metal. I know Cloud and Cid will have my head for this later…. Forget them…

 

I feel one hot tear escape its prison, tracking its way down my flawless cheek; upset over a little thing like this….

 

So I can't feel the pain I want to, and I'm not completely human anymore—I'm a monster, I know… so why am I still crying like some pathetic woman? I look back down at the roses—they almost seem to wilt under my gaze now… good.

 

In a fit of rage I pick the whole bouquet up and throw it across the room, knocking a picture off the wall in the process. I sneer—the shattering of the glass as the photo falls to the floor brings some sort of sick relief to my muddled mind. I glare at the broken frame and glass, the crushed roses too, wishing I could do more harm there—wishing perhaps it had been me shattering into a thousand tiny pieces. No…

 

Suddenly, as quickly as it had come, all the anger and violence has left me, leaving me open and raw to my tormented soul and emotions. I look back down at my claw, whimpering at the tattered sight it's in. I suppose I should clean up that mess as well….

 

I wearily trudge over to the mess I made on the carpeted floor, collapsing ungracefully to the floor before the roses and glass. As I start to pick up the broken pieces of the tacky frame and few remaining—unbroken roses, I realize how ironic the picture before me is: a rose among the thorns… the sharp glass reminding me eerily of my twisted and tattered life and the rose, well the rose was what I once was—long ago….

 

As I reach to pick up an unbroken rose I pull back abruptly, a hidden piece of glass slicing my finger open. I watch as bright red blood quickly oozes from the wound on my hand. But instead of seeking the required attention someone would normally need in a situation like this, I just sit there, staring at the wound with some sort of twisted fascination as it heals and closes on its own within a matter of seconds.

 

The pain comes again—not the physical pain, not the kind of relief I seek… but the tormented, mental anxiety of living a life like this—an unnatural one where unnatural things like healing completely after an injury that would have required stitches brings upon you…. No more…

 

Goddamn it, I can't take it anymore!!

 

Quickly grabbing up the shards of glass, I clench them tightly into my hands, the satisfaction of skin breaking and glass grinding against bone, making me grind out a smile between my clenched teeth. But I refuse to back down! I don't want this—I don't want to be a monster anymore!! I want to feel the pain in my left hand again—I want stand in the warm rays of sunlight and get a tan instead of burning from the softest shard of light. I want to feel life again….

 

So now I sit here with gory shards of glass stuck in my hand, as it literally begins to heal around the offending objects. I watch as my life-blood oozes from the gashing wounds and stare at the bleach-white of my bones…… Nobody should have to live through this kind of torture, this sickening sight.

 

Suddenly the pain and sight is too much to bear and I let out a piercing wail of defeat, screaming as my wings of Chaos tear from their confines of the skin on my back. I shudder from the horrid pain that courses through my body at the sudden extra appendages—this frail body not able to bear the immense pain of their release.

 

I fall forward, not able to hold myself up with the added weight and the sudden dizziness that accompanies this slightly evolved form. I can distantly feel hot blood flowing down my back and dripping off of my leathery wings in rivulets, just as I feel it still flowing down my good arm and hand, pooling at my knees and forming a large, squishy puddle in the carpet beneath me.

 

I curl up tightly, folding my wings around me for more protection; I slowly begin to rock back and forth, cradling myself within the folds of unnatural—beastly leather that surrounds me. The aching pain in my hand unwilling to leave since I pushed the glass too far in for my body to push it back out or for it to heal completely this time…. Good.

 

 

Somewhere in the back of my muddled mind, I hear shouts and rushed footsteps, a door slamming open and loud voices surrounding me... but none of it seems to matter—I don't care anymore, I just want the pain to go away—all of it. I flinch away from the delicate touch on the skin of my back that my wings couldn't cover—it hurts… just… stop…

 

Softly, the touch moves to my sensitive wings sending shivers down my spine. Far back in my mind I feel a touch of familiarity, like the `intruding' touch belongs to something or someone I know… someone I care for….

 

“… cent?” Words begin to break through, but I can't make them out—so soft they are and so far away I am.

 

“… incent?” They seem to become clearer—I want to come back—I don't wan to stay in the dark; in the dark all the bad things happen….

 

“Vincent…?” Vincent? Vincent… that is my name… yes, I know now… and the one speaking it is…

 

“Vincent? C'mon, snap out of it… please….” No, there is more than one, I remember, they both care for me as I care for both—with all of my black tattered soul….

 

“Vincent? Please, come back to us…” Cloud…

 

“C'mon, damn it! Wake up—you're bleedin' all over the damned floor!” Cid…

 

Ahhh… my two lovers, yes… I remember now…… Cid, so brash and outgoing… and Cloud—my precious, innocent Cloud….

 

Distantly I feel my wings parting to open myself up to my two worried lovers, instantly feeling myself being lifted from the blood-stained floor and half dragged, half carried to somewhere I'm only dimly aware of as being much brighter and much colder than where I had previously been.

 

“Vincent? Look at me…. Open your eyes… please?” I didn't even realize I'd had them closed, until I tried opening my sensitive eyes to sharp light of the small bathing room. I immediately squeezed them shut again—the offending light hurting too much to keep my eyes open. I could hear Cid grunt disapprovingly to the side of me, about what I couldn't say—a lot has happened.

 

I feel warm hands at my face then, gently brushing back my long hair. I dare to open my eyes again, slowly this time, so as not to hurt the sensitive cores of my eyes; my blurry vision slowly focuses and the wonderful sight of my mako-eyed angel appears before me, worry etched across his lovely features. I smile softly at him and move to reach for his face, but stop when I realize the large shards of glass are still embedded within my hand.

 

Instantly, regret and sorrow fill my entire being and I hang my head in defeat. This was never supposed to happen. The roses, the glass, Cloud—Cid. I don't deserve them—I don't deserve any of it—it's all too good for me… I need more, more pain, more suffering….

 

“I'm sorry…” I hear myself whisper softly, not expecting either of the two men before me to hear. Cloud touches my face again, trailing his thumb down the path my blood tears have taken and his eyes reveal so much love and acceptance it hurts.

 

“Don't be sorry… it's not your fault. I just wish you wouldn't torture yourself like this….” A loud snort to my right is Cid's only reply to that and then he says defiantly,

 

“Like it would do any damned good! Can't we ever get anything through that thick skull of yours?! Now you have two inches of glass sticking out of your fucking hand! You're lucky you heal fast.” Unexpected anger wells up in me at that comment. Lucky, lucky?! Why in the hell would I be lucky to be a monster—a freak!?!

 

Before I get out of control, I feel Cloud's hands on me once more, this time holding me down. I tear my glare away from Cid to Cloud's bright blue eyes once more, the loving depths of emotion within them, calming my raging soul. I sigh sadly and lower my head once more, feeling stupid and childish for getting upset at someone I love.

 

Suddenly I feel a large, heavy hand on my shoulder and warm lips pressed to my temple; a soft, “Sorry” is whispered and Cid pulls away, grabbing my hand in the process. I flinch at the sharp pain that shoots through my arm at the sudden movement; Cloud reprimands Cid for his carelessness, but Cid just mumbles something unintelligible and shrugs it off—as always. I smile softly at my lovers, before intense pain courses through my entire being. I gasp out a breath of air, at the shock of a large shard of glass slowly being removed from my hand.

 

The tears form in my eyes quickly at such pain. I glance to Cloud, who has turned his face away from the site—I don't blame him—it makes me sick to look at it, but for some reason I'm drawn back to watch as Cid bravely removes yet another broken piece of glass—this one pulling with it a few cords and tendons from my battered hand.

 

Somehow I fight the tears of pain, even though my hand is literally being torn apart before my eyes, I have to get past this… I have to be strong. Hell, I've lived through transforming into Chaos, I can survive this little bump in the road… though I feel as though I'm going pass out any second—I've lost too much blood, even for me….

 

I have to move my sight away from my hand as Cid comes to tough spot, unable to remove the piece of glass, he is pulling on. It's sickening, feeling the offending object in your hand, knowing it's there and seeing it, buried in your skin… and then having someone tug on it, but having it not break free—even for me that's too much and I feel the beginnings of my earlier meal trying to force its way up. Suddenly I feel arms around me, wrapping around my neck and holding me tight. Cloud… I can tell it's hard for him too, but the embrace has kept me from losing my lunch—so to speak.

 

Too slowly, it takes Cid too long to remove all the shards of glass it seems, but as soon as he removes the last piece, I feel the unnatural powers of my body take control and push any remaining shards of glass from my hand and heal the shredded wounds.

 

I flex my right hand experimentally; it doesn't hurt, just a dull ache reminding me of what I have done to myself. I look up at Cid who is now staring down at me with a raised eyebrow, as if waiting for some explanation he knows won't come. I frown and bring my now healed hand around to hold Cloud to me tighter. He doesn't fight the embrace, on the contraire, he leans even further into me, as if trying to burry himself within my very skin, just like those shards of glass had been.

 

I rise to my feet, bringing Cloud with me—he follows quite willingly, clutching onto my cloak tightly as I lead him to the bed… I know Cid is following us as well. Once we reach the oversized mattress, I deposit Cloud upon it and sit down next to him. The silence of the room now is calming, peaceful; it doesn't bother me to be in this solitude of warmth… Cloud and Cid are here now. They bring that to my full attention too, when I feel a light tug at my protective cloak and warm, strong hands on my aching shoulders, reminding me that my wings are still present, but I can't seem to make them go away—I lack the strength to do anything of that sort right now.

 

I let the gentle pull of Cloud's persistent hands drag me to the top of the bed where I'm positioned above my blonde angel, the young man staring back up at me adoringly. I smile down at the boy before me and run my now healed hand through his wild locks of hair, eliciting a soft moan from Cloud's sweet lips. I lean forward and kiss his lovely red lips softly, afraid that if I push any harder, I might break him. He doesn't seem to mind though and presses up against me, harder, wrapping his skinny arms around my neck to pull me closer.

 

I relent and let Cloud pull me down atop his smaller frame; as I ravish his sweet mouth I distantly feel another's hands upon me, pulling at my clothes as well as Cloud's. I'm startled from the intense kiss Cloud and I are sharing though, when the loud tearing of clothing echoes in my ears. I snap my head back to glare at Cid, who is now holding my tattered cloak and undershirt in his hands—in pieces. He just smirks at me and tosses the remains of my clothing on the floor; I sigh in exasperation, I guess it doesn't matter, I would have had to get new clothes anyway….

 

I'm pulled from my thoughts once more though, when Cloud presses his hand to my face, turning it so I am staring back at him again; he's pouting—so like my sweet angel…… Whenever I'm not paying attention to him, he gets so jealous. I smile down at him again, and return to kissing his petal-soft lips. As Cloud and I battle with each other, I feel another set of lips join in, only on my back, between the two enormous wings that now rest where my shoulder blades once were.

 

They are quite persistent in their pursuit, suckling and licking their way down the sensitive skin of my back; I can't help but moan and arch into the touch. I abruptly break off the kiss between Cloud and myself, to let out a hoarse shout when calloused hands begin to massage my quivering leather wings.

 

I've never felt pleasure like this before; then again, Chaos' wings have never come out either. The pleasure is almost overwhelming and I growl lightly for Cid to stop… he just hums softly and kisses my neck. I let out another sharp gasp when I feel smaller hands tweaking my nipples playfully, molding them into hard nubs on my pale chest. I stare back down at the glittering eyes of Cloud; he smiles impishly up at me, then moves to cover one of my hard nipples with his talented mouth.

 

Suddenly I'm feeling pulled in two directions, I don't know whether to lean back, into Cid's ministrations, or to push forward, into that wicked mouth of my little angel's. I can't take the pleasure of both tortures, and I pull Cloud's head away from me, once more covering his lips with my own. I pull away quickly, leaving Cloud dazed as I almost tear his shirt from his lithe body. He quickly finds himself though and helps me remove the obtrusive articles of cloth—soon his clothing finds a home on the floor with my tattered cloak and shirt.

 

With Cloud freed from any more obstacles, I rake my healed hand down his chest and stomach, dragging a moan from his lips as he arches up to meet my touch. Another moan from behind, breaks me from my reverie as, I can only assume, Cid is now staring at Cloud's beautiful body, just as I am. I feel Cid's larger hands move to my waist and circle around to the front of my pants, obviously trying to take them off as he whispers lustily,

 

“I think he has the right idea—we have too many clothes on….” And with that said, he quickly unbuckles my belt and relieves me of my own offending pants. I can't help but blush once I'm completely bare before Cloud and Cid; even though we've done this many times before, I always feel unsure and defenseless before their strong gazes. I know they love me, but I just feel embarrassed about myself, about my body—that maybe one time they might finally see what I see and never want to be near me again…. I don't think I could survive the rest of my life if that ever happened—I would die….

 

I'm torn from my depressing thoughts though, when I feel two sets of hands on my body—all over me, surrounding and touching me in the most intimate of ways. I shudder at the pleasure my two lover's hands are giving me… my wings shaking with the pleasure as well, as a pair of hands caress them softly too.

 

I throw my head back and drop my mouth in a silent cry when someone wraps their hand around my straining erection and slowly starts to pump it… another hand reaches up to hold my head back, laying it against Cid's shoulder as, I can only assume, Cid's mouth, attacks my throat and shoulder with a vengeance. My two lovers soon have me bucking and crying for more, as they tease me ruthlessly, leaving me on the brink and holding on before I ever fall over.

 

In the midst of it all, I growl out something obscene as Cid and Cloud continue to torture me, a low chuckle and more playful hands and kisses on me are the only replies I get. Suddenly I feel a gust of cool air at my back and I realize Cid has left the bed, for what I'm not sure until I look down to see Cloud's eyes gazing behind me hungrily. Only then do I realize that Cid is stripping… before I can turn to watch, Cid is back in his place behind me, warming my exposed back and touching me again, only this time, instead of massaging my back or leaving love-marks on my neck, he bats the hand, I can only guess as Cloud's, away from my painfully aroused manhood and covers it with his own lubed hand. I bite back a yelp of surprise at the shocking change in temperature, but it turns into a moan of pleasure as Cid starts to stroke me faster and harder, pulling me closer and closer to the edge.

 

I let out a pained cry when Cid abruptly stops and removes his hand from my weeping erection. I glare down at Cloud for no apparent reason—just because I'm mad Cid stopped, but he just smiles up at me as I realize I'm being guided towards his secret passage… I frown for a moment though; I can't enter him, not when he hasn't been prepared yet. I quickly find out though, that yes, he has definitely been prepared as I enter him completely and smoothly. We both let out deep moans of pleasure—Cloud at being filled by me and myself from the feeling of my angel's tight passage clutching me desperately.

 

Cid must have prepared him the same time he prepared my erection….

 

I let out a sharp gasp as I feel two slick fingers enter me at once, realizing that it's now my turn to be prepared for Cid's entrance. While he prepares me, I slowly start up a rhythm with Cloud that Cid will just have to work with; I'm beyond the point of caring anymore, I need my release so badly. Soon the stimulation of back and front becomes too much for me and I find my release within Cloud's passage quickly.

 

Still pumping within my angel, I collapse atop his sweat-soaked body, breathing heavily of my recent release. I feel Cloud wrap his arms around me again and kiss my forehead lovingly as he continues to buck up against my body and I can tell he is still far from release—he is holding it back, making it last, as he always does. Just then I feel something larger and much thicker enter my own passage and grunt in protest at first, to Cid's penetration of my sensitive body, but the added stimulation finds my body coming back to life and my erection twitching for release once more.

 

I groan and push myself back up again, to give myself more leverage to pound into Cloud just as Cid is doing to me now.

 

We soon build up a perfect rhythm: Cid pounding into me as I pull out of Cloud and the same for Cloud and I. This time I hold out much longer, wanting to wait for Cloud to find his release first, before I break… so I shakily reach out with my unclawed hand and wrap my nimble fingers around Cloud's straining erection, pumping it in time with our thrusts. As our impending release nears, my body becomes more sensitive by the second and my wings flutter joyfully, as if having a life of their own… the sensational pleasure coursing through me overpowering all of my senses and I can feel Cloud and Cid growing closer as well.

 

With a few more strokes of my hand, I have Cloud releasing his essence, with a loud cry of pleasure, into my palm and on our stomachs heavily. This in turn causes his inner muscles to clench my arousal painfully and I follow suit, releasing my seed within my panting lover once more, my wings flying open, straining in their shout of pleasure. The chain reaction continues and I soon feel Cid filling me with his warm seed, coating my inner walls thickly. I shudder from the sensation of being filled and collapse atop Cloud once more, his arms automatically moving to wrap around me again.

 

I sigh and reach behind me to find one of Cid's hands, when I finally find one still in a death-grip upon my now-bruised hip, I pull it free and take it before me, lacing our fingers together as I move to lay beside Cloud instead of crushing him with my weight, since I am now much heavier with my wings. Cloud protests weakly but curls up against me once I've made myself comfortable beside him, curling the wing I'm laying upon beneath me, closer to my body so I doesn't get crushed, and Cid soon has me spooned up against his front as well.

 

Now, as we all lay here, our limbs entwined and our passions spent, I must think about what I could have lost today… the euphoric bliss and peace forcing me to think on it—understand that what I have is special and rare. If I had lost myself completely, I would have lost the two I most love and they in turn, would have lost me. It wouldn't have been fair of me to do that to them, I understand that now, and my bout of selfishness did not win over my love for these two men I lay with now.

 

I suppose… my life could have turned out much worse…. I could have been found by someone else, someone like Sephiroth… or I could have been left to sleep for ever, as Doctor Hojo had originally intended…. But I wasn't, I was found and taken in by Cloud and loved by both these men—given far more love than any beast like me would deserve… but I have it now and that should be all that matters… I shouldn't be selfish about it or angry…. I know now, that I must praise what I get and cherish it with everything I have, for as long as I must have it because it might not be here for ever… and if that were to happen, I would surely lose myself completely and welcome death with open arms.

 

This is my life now… not some science lab with a maniacal doctor, or a dark, cold coffin with no hope of redemption again….

 

Cloud… and Cid… they are my life now as is everyone else along for this journey and I will follow them through it to the end, even if I must live with the monster inside to defeat our foes.

 

 

I slowly start to feel myself drift off to sleep now, Cloud already having succumbed to slumber's embrace, but Cid—I know he is still awake, I can feel it… he can't hide anything from me.

 

“What are you thinking about…?” I ask softly, so as not to wake my sleeping angel before me. A chuckle and tightening of his arms around me signify Cid's obvious lack of sleep.

 

“I should be asking you the same thing…” I smile softly and snuggle back against Cid more.

 

“I was just thinking about how lucky I am that all of you found me down there… in that basement…” Cid stiffens behind me at that—it's a touchy subject, around any of us… but I'm not afraid to talk about it now…. Besides, I was the one who was locked in a coffin when they came along…. I sigh and stretch my one free wing out so that it is covering all three of us completely; amazingly, keeping the warmth our bodies are creating inside the small shelter and better than any blanket would. Once I have my wing situated, I bring Cid's hand to my lips and kiss it, then whisper,

 

“Good night, Cid… I love you……” Cid sighs behind me and nuzzles my hair affectionately, mumbling his `good nights' and a small `love you too' before falling asleep finally. Smiling, I stay awake a few moments longer, listening to the many sounds and songs of the night, but sleep soon finds me and quickly takes me, pulling me into a realm I never wanted to enter again… until I met Cloud and Cid and the others…. Now, it's a welcoming relief……

 

 

~owari~