Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Send Me An Angel.... Tainted With Scarlet.... ❯ Dear, Dear Diary Pt I ( Chapter 15 )

RATING: NC-17!! DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18, THIS STORY CONTAINS GRAPHIC VIOLENCE, POSSIBLE RAPE, GRUESOME SCENES AND OTHER MATURE CONTENT. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. (I CANNOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE!!!)

 

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII, its story, and characters are the property, copyright and trademark of Square Electronic Arts L.L.C., and no ownership or claim on said property, copyright or trademark is made or implied by their use in the work(s) of fan fiction presented here. This fan fiction constitutes a personal comment on the aforesaid properties pursuant to doctrines of fair use and fair comment. This fan fiction is non-commercial, not for sale or profit, and may not be sold or reproduced for commercial purposes.

 

Summary: This is my Mary-sue... read if you so desire.

 

Pairing: Kadaj X Loz X Yazoo and possibly… X OC

 

 

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Send Me An Angel… Tainted With Scarlet ….

 

Chapter Fifteen:

 

Dear, Dear Diary…Part I

 

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You don't know me. I don't know you. But this is my story of how my brothers and I survived…for you already know… our deaths.

 

My name is Loz.

 

My age, is unknown, even to myself.

 

I have no past, nor do I have future. All that I have…is the present, my brothers, and the hopeless, heartbreaking dream of life, that we will never know.

 

I suppose I should start from the beginning, maybe then my life -if that is what you would call it- would be less confusing to you.

I don't remember much of my early years. But I will tell you all that I know in hopes to allow our story to be told and heard.

 

My brothers at the moment are laughing at me, but what else is knew? They find my futile attempt at a biography amusing, and yet, I can see the flicker of hope - that our story will be heard - in their familiar jade eyes.

 

My birth was not an official one. Yes there were doctors, scientists and nurse personnel, but there were no certificates, crying mothers or even warm embraces. Only cold clinical eyes, frozen touches, and merciless inspections.

 

Hell in instances, my birth can not even be considered one. I was incubated in an artificial womb until the time of my `supposed' birth would occur, then they moved my small, helpless, feeble, unconscious body to a glowing mako chamber where I remained for the first year of my life.

 

It was not until they removed me - alive and aware - from that chamber, did they consider me even alive.

 

Loz is what they named me, or rather dubbed me for easier identification, for in truth, I had two names; `Unit experiment -- 56-L-24-O-91-Z-20-01' being my original name.

 

My name - `Unit experiment -- 56-L-24-O-91-Z-20-01'- was my true name, password, and curse. It was the only thing that truly bound me to them, and they would make sure that it would always remain. Thusly, they tattooed it on my right shoulder as soon as they registered me as awake and aware enough to feel the pain. Even today, it still leaves a gruesome reminder of my life.

 

Now to the doctors, I was a mystery. To the scientists, I was an anomaly. And to the very few, exclusive, first class soldiers that were allowed a meagre glimpse of me, I was a threat. For even in my infant years, I rivalled their overall body strength. And at the age of three, I was quite known for breaking the soldiers' mako reinforced bones, much like you would a simple dried up twig that you would find lying in the street during a warm autumn afternoon. I always found it funny that my `toys' always needed to be replaced, the Shinra personnel? Not so much.

 

All-in-all, my life was -albeit simple- a very lonely and painful experience. For if I was not being monitored by a mobile camera in my small, sterile, bleached white box for a cell, I was either strapped to the familiar bone chilling, medical steel gurney while being experimented on or I was being tested on in the equipment room where I ran treadmills and lifted weights.

 

Although, there was one salvation in my shit hell of a life, it was my drug.

 

Now in the beginning, I fought until long after I bled and passed out against being injected regularly - and quite often I might add - with the volatile glowing green mixture of mako and mother's cells. But eventually, I grew tired, and in an odd way, the familiarity of those injections, grew comforting…and thusly, addicting.

 

The pain though, was always unbearable. There is no way a person could imagine that pain…but I will try and enlighten you to even a tidbit of what I felt.

 

Imagine the pinch of the cold sterile needle under your skin, and a freezing burn hat slowly creeps through your veins as more and more of the deadly mixture is injected into you. Now imagine each and every muscle in your body, starting to convulse and cramp, leaving you straining against the well worn dark leather and metal straps, in a hopeless attempt to escape the liquid flowing through your veins, seemingly dissolving everything in its wake.

 

But now, that was only the after affects of the initial injection. It was later when I sat huddled and shivering in the farther corner of my cell, when the real pain would come.

 

Imagine gut wrenching nausea, fevers, hot flashes, bone-cracking seizures, suicidal self mutilation, head splitting migraines, horrific delusions, and so much more….

 

The odd thing was, in the end, I enjoyed every minute of it.

 

The mako rush I always received at the end of it all was addicting. The surge of power was mind blowing. You became numb to the world, and yet, everything was overly sensitive to the point you could feel no pain, only pleasure.

 

Oh the scientists had a field day with my every growing addiction, and were more than happy to provide me with the drug when I went through even worse withdrawals.

 

In their minds as I was growing, I was perfection.

 

I had all the strength and agility they could ever want. I was breathtaking with my shocking silver hair and glowing mako eyes that stood out against my pale skin. I was their prodigy… well until I learnt to speak.

 

As early as I can remember, they shoved mind puzzles, school work, and every other form of intellectual work in front of me. But that was where I was deemed, a failure.

 

I thought I was doing well. In regular terms, I graduated high school when I was six. At seven I already had four master degrees under my belt, and over twenty when I was twelve. But according to them, my intellect was lacking and my emotions were programmed wrong.

 

To them, I had become a failure…

 

And that was when the real pain started.

 

They tried to make my mind `up to par' as they put it, by giving me mind puzzles that always had some sort of bodily pain involved in order to solve them. All the while, I was given ever increasing mako and Jenova concoctions, in hopes to tame my wild emotional fits.

 

But all that work only served one purpose, to slowly kill me.

 

I was alone and in constant agonizing pain. My comfort, was slowly killing me…my mind was breaking down and dying. All that I was left with…was my tears.

 

But by the end of my twelfth year, all that changed….

 

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AN:

 

Woot! I got another chapter finished!

 

Yes I know it's very short, but I didn't want to drag it on and on, where I would only keep repeating myself over and over…it would not be pretty.

 

Now I'm gonna warn you, the more of this insert you read…the worse it's going to get. This was the mild beginning. The next one is going to get more graphic - and slightly longer!

 

So I'll remind you again, you DO NOT HAVE TO READ THIS NOR THE NEXT FEW CHAPTERS!! The entire insert will be called: Dear, Dear Diary. So once it doesn't say Dear, Dear Diary anymore. It'll be nice and good again. But if you want to read…well then…enjoy!

 

Kou-Shuurei