Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Shattered Dreams ❯ The Old Ways ( Chapter 8 )

(Voice in Mind)

`Inner Thought'

 

Chapter 8: The Old Ways

 

Raven heaved a deep breath as he pushed his tired limbs to continue walking. Cosmo Canyon couldn't have been much farther. They had spent most of the day before walking, stopping for the night for a rest before continuing in the trek. Erebus had stuck around the whole time, though usually they walked in silence.

 

The cloaked figure kept glancing to the sky, as if expecting another attack, while Raven was lost in his own internal ponderings. Though he had asked Erebus to tell him what was going on the day before, the demi-god had fallen strangely silent, which was fine for him considering he had much on his mind.

 

He had dreamed again last night, not that much of it was any use. Just scattered images of the life that he led before, but the most confusing truth was that it seemed there were two separate lives he was remembering. And blood… so much blood. It seemed his memories were covered in it.

 

There was another pressing memory that was more common than all the others. Apparently, it was that was very important to him, and he could understand why. It was a man… that much he could tell, and they were… together. Funny, but Raven never considered himself the homosexual-type. However, the types of reactions these dreams were stirring in him proved that he loved this person and wanted him for more than just a night. Raven sighed as he wished heartily that the images were clearer.

 

“Thinking again?” Erebus questioned, disturbing his mental train of thought.

 

“Hm?” Grey eyes looked up from his inner ponderings and laughed half-heartedly. “Remembering my dreams, don't know why I bother though. It's not like I can tell what's real and what is not.”

 

“Tell me this dream,” Erebus suggested. “I might be able to help.”

Raven snorted. “You won't even tell me my name, but you will tell what my dreams mean?”

 

“I can at least point out what's real and what's not.”

 

The dark-haired man shrugged. “They are mostly scattered images. Blood seems to be the first and foremost theme. I see glimpses of faces, a man with glasses, a girl with long brown hair, some spiky-haired kid, and others but no names.” He trailed off.

 

“That's it?” Erebus questioned, shaking his head. “That doesn't seem like much.”

 

“No, there is one other. It is more prevalent than the others. I can't see a face, but I can smell cigarettes and tea… always the taste of tea. And I can hear him. I have the sense that if I were to meet him in real life, I would instantly recognize the voice. The background might change but those impressions remain the same. I have the feeling that we were…”

 

“Intimate?” the demi-god suggested, laughing at the way his animus, flushed with embarrassment.

 

“Yes,” Raven retorted shortly, cheeks still burning. “If you must know.”

 

“Why are you so embarrassed?” the cloaked being queried, trying to restrain his laughter. “It's nothing to be ashamed of.”

 

The dark-haired man glared and turned his head away from Erebus. He wasn't going to respond so long as his cheeks were still burning.

 

Erebus shook his head. “I wish I could tell you, Raven; I sorely do. But let me at least say that all of those images are valid memories.”

 

Raven listened intently to what the hooded man had told him. He returned to his inner musings, contemplating his dreams once more. He had searched his scattered thoughts in vain; to try and find any reference to the mysterious companion he now traveled with. Yet, he only came up with more questions.

 

“Yesterday, you didn't answer me. So today, I ask again,” Raven began thoughtfully. “What are you?”

 

Erebus startled for a moment before uttering a small chuckle. “I was wondering how long it would take before you questioned again.”

 

“My curiosity got the better of me,” the other remarked dryly. “Are you going to answer?”

 

The hooded figure laughed again. “Patience was a virtue it seemed you lost with your memories.”

 

Raven snorted but didn't say anything, waiting for Erebus to continue. He waved a hand at the cloaked man to urge him on.

 

“Erebus is who I am in truth, though that name was lost long ago,” the cloaked demi-god mused aloud. “But that would be starting at the beginning, which isn't going to work in this situation.”

 

“You humans know me as Hades, a mere summon, whose power is contained in the red materia. However, that is not what I am. In truth, I am a demi-god far more powerful than you can even imagine. I only adopted Hades when I allowed a portion of my power into the summon materia.”

 

“Why didn't you speak to me before?” Raven questioned, interrupting the demi-god in his explanation.

 

“Believe me, I have tried. Yet, for six months you ignored me.” Erebus sighed and paused a moment. “Before that, there were other voices drowning me out, much louder ones. Perhaps the main reason, however, was the fact that the residents of this planet have long forgotten how to hear the voices of their anima.”

 

“Anima?” the grey-eyed man asked with interest. “You did call me animus… didn't you?”

 

Erebus nodded the movement barely noticeable beneath the thick hood. ”Long ago, the residents of this planet, those of significant power anyways, were associated with the spirit of a demi-god. Each had their own that was specific to their abilities. They could call upon their anima when in battle, no magic needed, and the demi-god would automatically come to their aid. Yet, the knowledge of the Old Ways has since been lost, the true names forgotten, and man has had to resort to materia.”

 

“What caused the loss?” Raven asked quietly. It was all very interesting to him. He had never heard of anima and animus. Then again… his memory wasn't exactly the most reliable.

 

“There was a war,” the demi-god replied after a moment. The hand clutching the reaper tightened in its grip. “Some among us decided that they weren't happy being just demi-gods and planned a revolt, hoping to become more powerful. All of Gaia was at war as anima and their animus fought against each other. Humans took part in this battle, as well.”

 

“Why? What did the power struggle of a group of demi-gods have to do with humans?” the dark-haired man questioned, genuinely surprised. There was a sudden twinge in his back which shot a stab of pain throughout his body. He gasped softly at the unexpected pain.

 

Erebus shot him a look that the grey-eyed man did not catch. Raven was too absorbed in trying not to wince as his shoulder blades ached. It was as if his body had just reacted on its own to his question.

 

“Those that were linked by the animum bond refused to sit back and watch,” Erebus sighed as he recalled the war that happened such a long time ago. “There is also the fact that in many bondings, power and strength are shared between the anima and animus. A demi-god is powerful but by the bond it increases tenfold, often relying on the strength of their animus.”

 

Vincent nodded slowly as he listened. “So the bonding is more than just an easy way to summon,” he mused aloud. “One could say that it makes both more powerful than they would be on their own.”

 

“Precisely,” agreed Erebus. He was a quiet for a moment, before he continued with his history lesson.

 

“The battle was harsh. The day sky was darkened, the night alight with power. Seasons changed their course… the battle lasted for a long time. In fact, the huge depression on the Midgarian continent is a result of a clash between Seiryu and Daunte. Finally, they were defeated, the uprising stalled. The creator-“

 

“Kami?” [1]

 

“Yes, Kami. He decided as punishment to lock the main instigators in four black orbs of materia and banished them to the Lost Grounds. In order to prevent such an event from occurring again, we were forced to give up our power for a time in order to prove our trustworthiness. In that short while, the inhabitants of Gaia forgot about us.”

 

Raven absorbed Erebus' words, trying to understand the massive amount of information that he had been presented with. His back still twinged slightly, but the pain had settled to a dull ache.

 

“Am I to assume that you are my anima?” Raven questioned.

 

The demi-god laughed, a dry and raspy sound echoing through the air. “Yes, we are linked.”

”Then why do I have another voice in my head?”

 

Erebus drew up short in surprise, halting abruptly. He looked up, the hood falling from his face just enough to reveal a bit of bleached white bone that comprised his skull. The demi-god's physical form was little more than a skeleton wrapped in billowing, if not tattered, black robes.

 

Raven stopped walking, glad for the moment's rest, to turn and give his anima a raised eyebrow glance. Apparently his words had startled the demi-god.

 

“You hear… others?” the summon asked, an unfamiliar tone to his voice.

 

The dark-haired man shook his head in response. “Not others… just one. And it's not really like a voice… more like a presence pressing in on my mind. I can't really understand what it is trying to tell me, like the words are coming from a filter.”

 

The demi-god frowned as he considered the words of his animus. It could be Baal trying to get through to him, because he didn't sense any of the four still connected. But then again, Balaam and the boy might still have a bond since they spent so long enjoined. In all likely hood, however, it was just Baal trying to get through. Since he wasn't officially Raven's anima… eh… that part did get semi-complicated… but no matter, he couldn't speak as clearly as Erebus could.

 

“Don't worry. It will become clearer with time,” the demi-god responded, wishing he could say more. But it wasn't up to him to tell Raven about his past, nor could he tell the dark-haired man the name of the voice either. That would ruin the potential animum bond.

 

“There it is,” Raven murmured, grey eyes looking down at the landscape below them. Cosmo Canyon was sitting there, only another hour or so walk away.

 

“I'm going to leave for now. Seek out Bugenhagen. He may be able to help you,” suggested Erebus.

 

“Hmph,” muttered the dark-haired man. “You do as you will anyways.” However, his words were spoken to thin air. The demi-god had already disappeared. Shaking his head at the behavior of his anima, Raven continued on his way towards Cosmo Canyon.

 

One name stayed fresh in his mind. `Bugenhagen…”

 

* * *

 

Eyes of jade stone fluttered softly before opening quickly, looking straight into the worried mako eyes of her husband. Aeris sighed softly and shifted, uncomfortable as she had not changed position since passing out.

 

Cloud had rushed home the moment he had received the phone call, worried for both his child and his wife.

 

“Oh, gods, I was so worried,” the blond commented from his position at the side of her bed. He breathed a sigh of relief. The former terrorist leader leaned down and ran a caring hand across his wife's pale face before gently kissing her on the lips. She returned the soft press eagerly.

 

With a small sigh of content, Cloud pulled back and locked eyes with his wife once more. “What happened?”

 

Aeris frowned slightly as she tried to pull herself into a sitting position, her husband giving her a hand. “Alexander has been speaking to me. And earlier, he… showed me.”

 

Cloud furrowed his brow in confusion. “Showed you what?”

 

The flower-girl shook her head, reddish-brown tresses settling around her ovaline face. “It's not over yet… Jenova and Sephiroth… they were merely catalysts. History is repeating itself. Only this time, we might not win.” She trailed off, biting her lip with her frustration.

 

“What are you talking about?” asked Cloud. “Sweetie, you're not making much sense.”

 

“Do you have any summon materia on you? Any at all?”

 

Cloud sighed and pulled out his armlet that he had taken off when he got home. Among some of the other materia he had three of the red orbs. He showed them to her and frowned when he saw the darkened expression on her face. She took the armlet from him and ran her fingers over the three red globes. One looked darker than the rest.

 

“It has begun,” she sighed, shaking her head at the darkened Choco/Mog materia. It looked like nothing more special than an empty marble.

 

Cloud frowned again as he looked to his materia. “But Shiva is still fine…”

 

“Perhaps she chose us,” Aeris mused quietly.

 

(The decisions have been made, the sides drawn.) Hephaestion's voice echoed inside her head and she closed her eyes to listen to him.

 

`What can we do now?'

 

(You, the demi-human, and one other are the only ones who have contacted their anima. Without the strength of that bond, there is no way that we will overcome.)

 

“Aeris?” Cloud questioned when he noticed her eyes closed and a look of concentration on her face.

 

She reached out blindly to grasp his hand before shushing him gently.

 

`What would you have me to?'

 

Hephaestion chuckled at her words. (Tell your husband to simply listen and quit ignoring his senses. For now, that will suffice. But rest as well, for the sake of your child.)

 

Aeris smiled and opened her jade eyes. Cloud was frowning and looking worried, his forehead drawn into tight wrinkles already. She couldn't help the giggle that broke out.

 

“You're going to get wrinkles if you keep that up,” she teased, running a hand over the lines in his forehead.

 

He sighed and attempted to loosen up his face. “If you wouldn't worry me so much…”

 

“I'm sorry,” she said, pulling him in close to her so that they could share another kiss. She leaned her forehead against his and looked straight into his mako blue eyes. “Alexander says for you to listen and quit ignoring that tiny voice at the edge of your mind.”

 

The blond scoffed but quickly caught his wife's lips in another kiss. “Get some rest. I'm going to make some phone calls.”

 

She smiled as he helped her lay back down and get comfortable. “Just listen, Cloud.” Aeris called after him in a sleepy tone. He gave her a smile and closed the door gently behind him.

 

* * *

 

Cid shifted uncomfortably as he stood in the cockpit and waited for the Highwind to set down just outside of Gongaga. From what he had seen, it looked like the entire town had been blown up and set upon by an army. He was comforted somewhat by the forms he could see milling about but not by the thin streams of grayish-black smoke still rising from the remains of their homes.

 

Nanaki and Yuffie stood on either side of him, looking at Gongaga just as he was. The ninja was horrified; her eyes wide with the obvious lack of peace that they had come to believe might be possible. Her hand had moved to her mouth, and her brown eyes even glazed over with the impending tears. Nanaki was watching with a calm detachment, as if he were burying everything beneath, so that it could not hurt him. Too opposite ways of dealing, and Cid recognized them both.

 

The airship landed with only a slight thump, and the two turned to look at the pilot.

 

“You two go on and see what happened. I'm going to see if I can find Reno,” Cid ordered.

 

“I can go on my own,” Nanaki interjected. “Maybe Yuffie should stay with you.”

 

The ninja sighed loudly and glared at her friend. “I don't know what you think you are doing, but I believe I can handle it.”

 

Cid looked between the two best friends with a bit of surprise. They were arguing, which was unusual.

 

“I just thought that…“ the demi-human began.

 

However, he never got to finish as Yuffie interjected, “Yeah, well, stop. I am not a child.” She huffed and stormed away from the two men, heading for the exit and assumingly the cargo bay, as well, where Cid had already had the crew lowering the entrance ramp.

 

“What was that about?” the pilot asked, with a raised eyebrow.

 

Nanaki sighed. “She's still mad about what happened in Midgar. You go find Reno, we'll see what happened here.”

 

Cid nodded as the red-head walked off, following after Yuffie. It seemed like everything was going to shit in Gaia. Reeve and Reno were arguing, and then the Turk disappeared. Gongaga was attacked, and Rude's mother lived there. Vincent was still missing. He tried to push down the stab of pain in his heart at that recollection and concentrated on waiting for the confirmation from the loading dock that the two disembarked before he took off.

 

He continued to stare out the window, wondering what on Gaia had happened in Gongaga. It definitely appeared as if it had been attacked by something. However, Sephiroth was dead… ShinRa disbanded… so the only possible guess could have been that the monsters had suddenly gotten together and decided to wreak havoc. Yet, that idea was more frightening than Sephiroth returning to the world of the living.

 

“All clear, Captain,” the voice of the attendant came on the intercom. Cid acknowledged him before nodding his head at the pilot. He felt the airship begin to rise off the ground and within seconds they were in the air.

 

“Fly low and slow between here and Gongaga,” the blond ordered. “We are looking for signs of a crash.”

 

“Yes, sir,” came the combined answers of his crew.

Satisfied that they would do their job as he had trained them, he returned his attentions to the window and moved a little closer to it, so that he could see outside. The ground whizzed by, though at a slower pace than usual. It was mostly a monotonous litany of various shades of green, but, as of yet, he didn't see anything vaguely resembling a helicopter crash.

 

As much as Cid was angry with Reeve, he sincerely hoped that Reno was okay. He didn't want to see his best friend have to face the same kind of sorrow as he. The uncertainty of not knowing what happened to the one you loved was the type of pain that pulled at your heart and didn't let go.

 

Every night he still dreamed of Vincent from the time that they first met in his rocket in Rocket Town… to the time when they were last intimate together, when the gunman had given Cid his most precious gift… that of his trust. Those memories haunted him, flickering across his subconscious during the day and playing through his night like some sort of sad movie while he slept.

 

He wanted Vincent back in his arms so badly it was palpable. There was a continuous aching in his heart that wouldn't heal and wouldn't fade. Not that he wanted it too. It was the pain that made him realize he was still alive.

 

And he knew that Vincent wouldn't have wanted him to act this way. He knew that the gunman would be mad if he knew that Cid was spending the rest of his life pining after him. But the blond couldn't help it. He just wouldn't accept that the ex-Turk was gone. Not when he had loved him so much.

 

“Captain, there is something on the radar,” one of his technicians called out.

 

Cid was disrupted from his thoughts by the voice and shook his head to clear his thoughts. He turned from the window and walked to the control panel that housed the display for the radar and other such important devices. The curly-haired male sitting at the dial, scooted his chair over so that Cid could stand next to him and pointed at something on the screen.

 

The pilot leaned over to look at the display and the odd-shaped blip that they were fast approaching. It didn't really look like anything which meant it could have been wreckage or something.

 

“Heat sensors sense a small source of heat to the northwest,” commented another technician, this one on the panel just behind Cid.

 

“How large?” Cid asked, turning to face her.

 

The female shook her head. “Not much. Could be the result of a small blaze or an engine cooling, I can't say.”

 

“Captain, I think you should see this,” his pilot stated from the helm. He was looking towards the window, his eyes locked on something.

 

The blond turned from the control panels and moved to stand beside the pilot. His blue eyes followed the man's gaze, finally settling on a small stream of grey smoke from the forest at the base of the mountains just ahead of them. It was relatively close to the borders of the trees and wouldn't take much to get to.

 

“Land on the outskirts of the forest,” Cid ordered, already grabbing his spear to check for his materia and heading for the cargo bay. “I'm going to check it out.”

 

The pilot nodded in understanding and grimly set his chin to the task before him. He started to call out to the other technicians, to get readings and such for a proper landing as Cid headed out of the cock pit for the elevator that would take him to the cargo bay.

 

He restlessly ran his fingers over the materia in his spear, wondering what it was he would find at the site that he could only assume belonged to Reno's helicopter. He had his mastered Ice and Diablos still, though the materia remained dark. He missed Jade Tiger at times… that summon had been lost with Vincent. Yet, he never once regretted giving it to him.

 

The elevator dinged, and Cid stepped out of the confining metal, heading to where the exit ramp was already being lowered. The attendant tipped a hat at him as he left the airship and headed for the forest.

 

Down on the ground, the smoke looked even more dark and full. Like the fuel tank had exploded or something. It wasn't comforting in the slightest. Cid sighed and slung the Venus Gospel over his shoulder as he stepped beneath the first bit of the trees, relying on the dark column of smoke to guide him.

 

The forest was eerily silent as he entered and there was no sign of the usual predators of Frogs and Kimara bug's. He could hear the crunch of his boots over the leaves below him and the sound of him moving through the under brush but that was it. He wondered if the monsters knew something that he didn't.

 

The acrid odor of burning metal assaulted his nostrils as well as that of spilled fuel. Just beyond his line of sight, he could make out the glint of grey metal peeking through the branches in the tree. Again he prayed to whatever deity that he could find Reno alive.

 

He stepped through the last line of trees and into the small clearing made by the helicopter crash. The machine looked like it had gone through hell. The twisted wreckage barely resembled a helicopter much less something workable.

 

Cid approached the still smoldering wreckage with a bit of reluctance, easily moving around some of the scattered debris.

 

“Reno?” he called out tentatively, unsure if he really expected an answer or not.

 

He reached out a hand and tested the temperature of the metal. It wasn't too hot for him to climb on. He jabbed the spear down into the ground. Slowly and carefully, Cid hefted himself up and started spider walking across the surface, heading for what he assumed was the cockpit.

 

The helicopter was lying on its side mostly; it appeared to have rolled quite a few times. The tail end was bent backwards until the end rudder was poking in through the cockpit window. Cid hoped that that wasn't what had happened to Reno, that somehow the red-head had avoided getting speared by the sharp tip of a helicopter blade.

 

The Captain peered in through the front window and saw that the passenger and pilot seat were both empty, but the smear of blood on the head of the pilot side gave him no comfort. He crawled to the edge of the door and looked down inside. It was semi-dark, but from his initial guess he could tell that it was empty.

 

The helicopter groaned as he leaned in and Cid froze. The wreckage leaned and shifted, forcing Cid to throw himself flat against it and cling, hoping to not get rolled over on. It groaned once more, shifted, and then settled into place.

 

Breathing a sigh of relief, the pilot waited a moment before carefully lowering himself into the cockpit of the helicopter. After a few seconds of poking around, Cid confirmed what he had already guessed. It was empty.

 

The blond carefully climbed out of the ruined helicopter and was more than grateful when his feet were on solid ground. He grabbed his spear and circled the area, searching for any signs of the Turk.

 

Five minutes later, he still hadn't found anything, not a sign. Cid wasn't exactly skilled in wood-lore, so there was no way he would be able to try and track him. Besides, if Reno had made a distress call, he would have known to stay put and wait for someone to come.

 

Sighing to himself in worry, Cid started to head back towards his airship, pulling out his PHS as he walked. He dialed a number he knew by heart and waited for someone on the other end to pick up.

 

“Cid? What did you find?”

 

It was Archer who answered. “Where is Reeve, Kyle?”

 

“Sleeping. I made him lie down before he gave himself a coronary or something. What's up?”

 

The pilot sighed in frustration as he trekked back towards his airship. “I found the helicopter… some blood but no sign of Reno. He's alive… I can guess that much but as to where he is. I haven't a clue.”

 

“Damn!” Archer's angry curse echoed throughout the phone. “And he would have known to stay put…”

 

“Exactly. I'm going to go to Gongaga and see if they know anything. Have Yuffie or Nanaki called you?”

 

“No. Listen, I'm going to let Reeve sleep a minute before I tell him. I will call Tseng and Elena, though; perhaps they can help.”

 

“I will call you later with results. Bye.” Cid hung up the phone without waiting for a response. He pushed the PHS back into his pocket and continued through the forest.

 

No, things weren't going well at all…

 

* * *

A bit of a slow chapter as some bits of plot peek through…. feel free to send me some of your comments.