Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Shattered Dreams ❯ Unlocked Tears ( Chapter 40 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: dracoqueen22 
Someone has a breakdown... truth comes to light...
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Hentai / Drama / Action | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 08.22.2006 | Pages: 5 | Words: 7.1K | Visits: 273 | Status: Completed
Someone has a breakdown... truth comes to light...
Non Anime: Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Hentai / Drama / Action | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 08.22.2006 | Pages: 5 | Words: 7.1K | Visits: 273 | Status: Completed
This chapter gets a bit confusing, but if you read it slowly, you will understand it, trust me. It picks up directly where Chapter 39 left off.
(Voice in head)
[“Flashback Dialogue”]
Chapter 40: Unlocked Tears
“Others?” questioned Reeve. “You mean there are even more anima out there?”
Tiamat nodded. “For certain, one of our own companions has not been able to contact his animus. He claims that it is not that he is being ignored, just cast aside as if he did not even exist. The bond only develops between those of great strength and wisdom, however, which limits the number of candidates.”
(You can’t… ignore me forever!)
As everyone was pondering this question, Elena happened to glance over at her commander, noticing that he was rather pale. He almost looked like he had seen a ghost.
“Boss?” she questioned in a whisper, leaning towards him. “Boss, are you okay?” the blonde tried again.
(… not… like her)
“I am fine, Elena,” he answered distractedly, running a hand through his loose hair as another of their friends spoke again.
“You said something about the forsaken,” Rude commented.
Seiryu inclined his head. “Those of us that have turned to Balaam, joining his side. Some were meant to be anima and have thus abandoned their animus.”
Cid frowned. “How do you know who is an animus and who isn’t? I mean, that green one said Tifa was an animus.” He jerked his thumb at Asclepius, who beamed.
“Each person emits a certain aura that has a much to do with the Lifestream flowing within their body,” Gilgamesh explained, elaborating carefully. “We can feel the difference between those of the common folk and those chosen for the animum bond. You would have known if you were abandoned due to a sudden feeling of loss accompanied by severe distress, depression… grief,” he added in an afterthought. “It would feel as if someone you knew and loved deeply had just died.”
Archer frowned in sudden understanding. “That explains much of it,” he murmured. Amethyst eyes darkened sadly as he looked towards his former lover. “Your anima has abandoned you, hasn’t it?”
The pilot shrugged, his fingers itching for a cigarette. “I dunno. Hadn’t been hearing any voices, if that’s what you’re asking.”
The engineer nodded as Reeve looked between them in confusion. “What are you talking about, Archer?”
“You wouldn’t know,” the amethyst-eyed man expressed. “Most of you went your own ways after the final battle, while I stayed on as Cid’s partner. I saw him at his lowest… but that’s not the point.” He turned to face his former lover. “You remember, it was about three months ago. It seemed everything was going to be alright, and then suddenly, you crashed and burned like nothing I have ever seen.”
Tiamat seemed to be thinking it over, her silvery glow flashing suddenly. “Yes, that does sound like the breaking of a bond. I can only wonder who it was that we lost to the other side,” she directed at her mate before turning back. “There are some that have also become neutral, refusing to take either side.”
“I don’t hear no voices either,” Barret said, furrowing his brow. “There was a point awhile back I thought I was missing something. I spent a month looking for this thing, just searching ‘round everywhere. Never found it, though,” he commented.
(… hide… no longer)
“Then,” Archer began, considering everything, “the only one left of us who does not acknowledge anything is Tseng.” He put one hand on his chin before turning to the Turk.
Immediately, the pressure fell on the Wutaiian, though no one else turned directly to him. Archer was simply making an observation. However, Tseng suddenly paled.
They knew… or at least, suspected. Had he not hidden it well?
Before anyone could ask him directly, Tseng reacted. “I don’t hear anything,” he bit out a little too forcefully.
(If… you… just… LISTEN TO ME!)
Aeris began, squinting her eyes at him, and he shifted uncomfortably. “There isn’t anyone left. So surely, you must--”
“I don’t hear any voices!” Tseng exclaimed as he shot to his feet and slammed his hands down on the table. The loud sound completely riveted everyone’s attention on him. “Quit asking me about the damn voices!” the Turk all but screamed as he stormed from the room, the door slamming shut behind him.
The conference room went silent as those closest to the normally stoic commander exchanged gazes. Reno’s mouth gaped open, the toothpick he had been chewing on just seconds earlier fell from his lips, only to clatter on the tabletop. Rude raised a brow and took off his sunglasses, as if checking to make sure he was seeing things correctly. Elena gasped quietly and brought a hand to her mouth, unsure of what to make of that little display, while Reeve watched his friend and confidant exit from the room with a surprised expression on his face.
The other members of their group, animas included, shifted uncomfortably, eyes watching each other over the large table. It was a highly uncharacteristic move on Tseng’s part, and no one knew what to say or even think.
However, it was the ninja’s voice that broke the silence. She gasped softly as she shook her head, a sudden look of understanding breaking out over her features.
“Oh, Kami… I didn’t know,” Yuffie said quietly. “We never should have put it that way.” She was shot several questioning looks, but she ignored them for the moment.
The Turks traded glances with Reeve, wondering who would be the best to go after their strangely behaving leader. With a brief nod, the executive rose to his feet and disappeared out the door. It closed in a decidedly quieter fashion than it had with Tseng’s exit.
Once he was gone, Reno and Rude also moved from their chairs, going to the door as if to prevent anyone else from leaving the room and affording their leader some privacy. Archer seemed insanely curious, chewing his lip in indecision as he tried to settle on whether or not he would actually get up to look. Yet, all in all, it was an almost deathly silent conference room.
In the hall, Tseng was leaning against the wall, as if trying to catch his breath, an almost manic gleam in his silvery gaze. His body trembled slightly as he gripped onto his chest with his hand, appearing as if he was trying to hold himself together physically. Reeve carefully approached the man that had become his closest confidante, outside of his lover, concern evident in his features.
“Are you alright?” he asked, keeping his voice soft.
The Wutaiian turned to look at him, a hard and unusual look to his face. It was nearly as cold as one of Vincent’s stares and just as frightening. There was something in his expression, something nameless. Nevertheless, it only served to chill Reeve completely, and he shivered involuntarily.
(… block… for the sake…)
“What the fuck do you think?” Tseng’s voice was thin, crisp, and clipped, as if he was only speaking out of necessity and barely restrained politeness. It was almost like he was hanging by a thin thread, and the slightest push would cause him to snap.
Though tempted to say something sarcastic, Reeve was more upset by the fact he couldn’t recall his friend acting in such a way before. He would expect something like this from Reno and Vincent and perhaps from Cid, too. Yet, the executive had never seen Tseng anything but calm and collected, even in the face of battle and when he had been on death’s doorstop a few months previous.
“No, I don’t think you are,” Reeve replied simply, giving a negative shake. His amber eyes were studying the other man very intently, looking for any sign of… well, he wasn’t entirely sure what he was looking for, but he would know it when he found it.
“Brilliant deduction,” Tseng hissed as he pushed himself off of the wall and tried to side-step his way beyond the executive. It was almost as like he was running away, fleeing for fear of something. Perhaps he could just walk it off. It was already in the process of fading, so he should be fine in a few moments, his walls firmly in place. He just needed a moment of peace, and it would be fine. He just needed a moment to regain his balance.
However, before he could get far, the other man grabbed his arm, refusing to allow him to leave.
Reeve started, “Tseng--”
“Don’t touch me,” the Turk snarled very coldly, rage evident in his tone, as well as his expression. “Let go of me.” He tugged on his arm in order to break the executive’s hold, but Reeve was not relenting.
Back in the conference room, Barret was the first to make a comment. Though he could not hear what was being said outside the door, Tseng’s actions were enough for him to say something. He eyed those gathered around the table before jerking his head in the direction of the door.
“You sure he’s related to Yuffie and not Vincent?” the gun-armed man asked with an odd expression.
There was a general growl of annoyance around the table as Cid and the former Turk shot the dark-skinned man equally angry glares. The pilot reached out and slapped the rude, gun-armed man across the back of his head.
“Shut up, %$#@%*&!” ordered the blond, shaking his head in disgust. “You’re too damn insensitive.”
“Be quiet!” Rude bit out loudly, again startling everyone with more out of character actions. Silence fell across the table as the voices outside rose in volume.
Reeve shook his head, determination and concern fiercely evident in his amber eyes. “I will not. You aren’t yourself, my friend,” he replied gently.
Tseng’s eyes narrowed and darkened with something that was more than anger, something more emotional and deeply hidden. It was a mystery that hadn’t seen the light of day in quite some time.
“Let go,” he ordered more firmly, dark hair sliding across his face as he attempted to jerk away. Yet, Reeve was a lot stronger than he looked, holding fast.
The two Turk partners traded glances in the doorway, able to hear every word that was said between the other pair. The red-haired man felt a bead of sweat trickle down his back. He feared a fight, recognizing the tone in their leader’s voice, and it was a dangerous one. Unlike Reeve, he had seen Tseng like this before, just once.
And the memory only caused him to tremble. Reno didn’t care to remember that particular night five… almost six years previous. Yet, even now he could recall it with clarity. He could envision the flash of rage crossing his boss’ eyes, hear the man snarl, see him shake with some nameless emotion before he stalked out of the ShinRa building and to the very worst part of the slums. The Wutaiian had remained there the entire night, fiercely fighting and savagely slaying all the monsters he found.
Reno could still hear their screams ringing in his ears sometimes, especially when he recalled how he had watched his friend scream at them, flinging out spells for all he was worth, and slashing at them with his katanas. He still remembered how he had wished Rude was there with them instead of away on a mission in Rocket Town. He still recalled the aftermath, when he had dragged his boss from the debris and had all but carried a bleeding and worn Tseng back to his apartment, patching him up as best he could so that they could actually go on assignment the following morning. He remembered that it had been a truly horrible night, one with his stomach twisted in on itself and with trepidation in his voice as he attempted to calm his friend with no success.
It was the same night they learned of Nibelheim.
“You are my friend,” Reeve insisted, shattering his lover’s recollections. “I won’t until you tell me what’s wrong.”
Tseng clenched his fist, and the executive could feel the trembling within the Wutaiian’s body. He was losing control, and that frightened the President more than anything he had come across. The look in the Turk’s eyes… Reeve had never seen him more haunted.
“Dammit, Reeve!” Tseng screamed, his voice echoing along the empty hall. “You don’t understand!”
For a moment, the executive took a step back, though he did not release his grip on Tseng’s arm. The unusual high pitch to his voice, the desperation in his words, and the desire to escape were all there, and the other man did not understand. A strange look crossed Reeve’s face, and he was completely confounded by the Wutaiian’s reactions.
Back in the conference room, Cloud was looking extremely puzzled. No one seemed willing to offer up an explanation as to what was going on. He looked to his wife, bewilderment plainly evident in her features.
Aeris traded unhappy frowns with the female Turk across the table. Elena was just as mystified as the rest of them, so the flower-girl took it upon herself to explain it to her husband.
Unwilling to say the words aloud and break the unnatural silence that had developed, she mouthed, “nervous breakdown” to him, hoping he would understand. That was the best explanation she could come up with, at any rate.
Elena noticed the exchange and nodded in agreement, the reasoning making perfect sense to her. The past six months had been hard on everyone, despite the peace, and with recent events, it was obvious their Turk commander had been stretched to his limits.
His near death, especially at the hands of a former ally, had bothered him a great deal, but apparently, even more so than he had let on. Not only that, but the Wutaiian had basically been elevated to the Vice Presidency of ShinRa before he had even fully recovered. He had taken on a great deal then, just as much or more than Reeve had, now filling in for both Heidegger and Scarlet. And just as with the executive, Tseng didn’t really like to delegate. Then, there were his original Turk duties, which Reno somewhat covered for him, and the additional tasks of increasing security after Tifa’s threats, tracking down who was behind it all in the first place, cleaning up Hojo’s leftovers, going through the mad scientist’s projects, and about ten thousand other things.
Elena had wondered about the amount of work Tseng had been doing, but she hadn’t really been sure how to broach the subject to him. Further, there weren’t many others left to delegate to… at least, not many they trusted. Reeve had been swamped as had Reno. Rude helped them as much as he could, but he had his wife and unborn child to worry about, not to mention helping Shera, Cid, and Archer get their business off the ground. The female Turk herself had little additional time or energy to undertake more tasks, so basically, Tseng had been forced to keep doing it all himself.
Despite her turbulent recollections, Elena was soon dragged back to reality as she heard another shout from the hallway with the follow-up “you see, he is having a breakdown” glance Aeris gave her husband.
Barret also noted the exchange but didn’t have enough tact not to comment aloud or even keep it to himself. “Really?” he questioned with surprise, looking between the two women. He shook his head. “I would have thought Reeve would have been the first ta go, considerin’ the pressure and all.”
Though not willing to say it aloud, Reno couldn’t help thinking along the same lines. However, his mind soon drifted along a similar path Elena’s had earlier taken, and he couldn’t help but reconsider. Tseng had taken on a lot lately, and he had been acting increasingly testy also, if the redhead recalled correctly. It hadn’t gotten too out of hand until Sephiroth had shown up, so Reno had originally put it to that. But now, he wasn’t entirely sure.
In turn, the former General sat still and silent, unsure if it was really his place to say anything at all. Sephiroth was worried for his friend… or would it be former friend? Regardless, the man didn’t think he should express as much. Some present were still angry with him, the little ninja included. He could feel Zack’s eyes on him, watching him cautiously, as if expecting something, but he ignored the dark-haired man. Sephiroth pretended as though he couldn’t feel the stares, just as he pretended that he was not in the conference room with the tense atmosphere.
Yet, despite Barret’s snotty comments, Aeris’ speculations, Cloud’s confusion, Sephiroth’s uncertainty, Reno and Elena’s deepening fears…
Despite all of that, it was Yuffie that understood what was really happening. But she was still too shocked by what she had learned to say anything. It had never occurred to her before. She had never thought that Tseng would be… like that, like her mom, and it startled the ninja in a way nothing else ever could. So she just sat quietly, listening to her cousin, her heart breaking right along with his.
“What don’t I understand?” Reeve asked gently, almost pleading with his friend.
Tseng shook his head, turning away from the executive. “You couldn’t. You don’t understand,” he pleaded as he attempted to pull himself free, managing to move just one step.
It was then that Reeve realized that his friend was shaking, quivering so violently that the executive’s eyes widened in surprise. Tseng was trembling like a child, and Tseng never trembled. He never quaked or shook. Tseng was always in control.
“Just let me go… please.” The Wutaiian’s voice was very small then. “Just… don’t touch me. I can’t focus with you touching me.”
“What don’t I understand,” Reeve repeated, a tiny trace of fear creeping into his heart, even as another chill went down his spine. “Is it about the anima?”
Tseng’s jaw worked, as if he was going to say something, but nothing came out. Silence descended in the hallway, and it was only punctuated by the Turk’s labored breathing.
In the conference room, it was quickly becoming obvious that the only one that could offer up an explanation was Yuffie. And she was beginning to act just like Tseng, which only baffled her friends, including Nanaki. As the pair conversed in the hall, Yuffie’s keen ears could hear every part of their conversation, and she knew without a doubt exactly what was going on. She knew that she had guessed it right in the beginning.
Her revelations hit her like a ton of bricks and sent a stab through her chest. Yet, she couldn’t face the inquisitive gazes of her friends since Tseng was right. He was absolutely correct. They wouldn’t understand. They could never understand. None of them could possibly comprehend it: the fear, the pain, the humiliation, the way he had been forced to hide his entire life. They couldn’t understand how he had hidden himself away, let part of himself die… just to be safe.
The girl lowered her head to the table, putting it in her hands as she tried to hide her reaction. She had never known. Tseng had never told her, not that they had had a chance to be close since his parents and he were exiled before she had even been born. She had never had the chance to meet him until after Meteor, and then, they had both been so busy. In truth, Yuffie hadn’t really known how to go about it. She had want to, and not just because her father had forbidden it, but she couldn’t figure out how to approach him.
Even now, the ninja could feel the eyes of her friends on her but refused to look up. Her body began to tremble on its own as she empathized with her cousin’s pain, her chest tightened as she imagined what he had gone through, what he had been forced to do to keep himself safe. She could only imagine what Hojo would have done to Tseng had the madman known, and Yuffie sincerely hoped that the bastard had never realized the prize that had been so easily within his reach.
The little ninja shivered again, thinking about her cousin. She had never known.
It was the lion wolf that first noticed his friend’s distress. He belatedly recalled her earlier teasing of the Turk, remembered that the two were related. Yet, he hadn’t thought they were that close; he hadn’t even realized Yuffie was on actual speaking terms with the exile outside of AVALANCHE get-togethers. He narrowed his golden eyes in concern as he gently laid a paw on his best friend’s thigh. Nanaki could feel her body trembling beneath his claws and feared that she was crying. He just didn’t understand why?
Worry crept into every part of him.
“What’s going on, brat?” Cid asked, the first to break the quiet that seemed to have stretched across the entire room. His tact left much to be desired, but then again, it wasn’t necessary.
All eyes turned towards the distressed ninja.
Nevertheless, the Wutaiian did not answer, merely shaking her head against her hands as she felt her throat close up. She could imagine the pain and solitude that her cousin must have suffered living every day in fear, terrified that someone would discover his secret and ostracize him, or worse… tell his employers.
“Yuffie?” Cloud’s voice this time, surprisingly gentle for him. “You know something that we don’t. We’re all in the dark here.” He shrugged helplessly. ‘What is it?”
“Please,” Aeris added in for good reason, “we only want to help.”
The ninja looked up from the table, and for the first time, everyone could see the pained look on her face and how her eyes seemed to swim with unshed tears. Like Tseng’s uncharacteristic explosion, seeing the ninja girl like that was also vastly unusual. It deeply shocked everyone there.
“Yuffie?” Nanaki coaxed gently, nosing her shoulder with his snout and trying to comfort her. She turned her eyes his direction, almost mechanically. “What don’t we know?”
The ninja swallowed thickly. They wouldn’t understand, but neither did Tseng… and that was what was so disheartening. It had been so ingrained in him, the fear and such. He didn’t think that anyone else would react in a positive way. He didn’t think anyone could react positively. These people were their friends. They wouldn’t judge, but Tseng couldn’t see that. All he could see were the questions, the accusations. It must have been like a direct flashback to him. She wasn’t even alive when he and his family had been exiled, but her mother had whispered the story to her in the dead of night, when no one else had been around to hear. Later, her father had also, the one time she had been brave enough to ask about her aunt and cousin, and she had not dared to ever do so again.
Other than her father, Tseng was her closest living relative. In fact, due to the war, they were the only two people she shared enough blood with to be legally related, even if she used the lax standards of Cosmo Canyon where people were blood-kin if they shared a single great, great, great grandparent. Yet, even considering all this, her father’s anger over the Turk and his situation were enough to keep even her from asking ever again. By Kami, as soon as he had realized that the Tseng that was now helping head ShinRa was one and the same with his disowned nephew, Godo had forbidden her from even coming within fifty feet of the company’s headquarters. He would have an aneurysm if he learned that she had been in the same room as the Turk Commander… that she had actually spoken with him.
And this thought only seemed to choke her up more. Tseng was her cousin, her family. Yet, her own father, who perfectly well knew the situation, had forbidden her from seeking him out.
It was in that moment, the little ninja knew for certain her friends could never possibly understand.
Yuffie wanted to tell them, but she couldn’t. She simply opened her mouth to tell them to back off, when she heard something that broke her heart even more, shattering it into pieces. She began to cry, knowing exactly to what and to whom Tseng was referring.
“Look,” Reeve said, his voice carrying in from the hallway. “We know it has to be you. You are the only one left. We know you are hearing them.” His tone was insistent but gentle, confusion laced into every word.
Tseng shook his head, eyes closed as he started to mutter something under his breath. The words were barely coherent to Reeve and bordering on the edge of madness. They sent another chill down his spine.
“I don’t hear them. I swear I don’t. I’m not like her!”
The words were like a mantra, mixed in with more unintelligible muttering as Tseng started to rub on his forehead, just over the jewel that was as much a part of him as his dark hair and silvery eyes. It appeared that he wasn’t even really listening to the executive anymore.
“Like who?” Reeve frowned in bewilderment.
Were there more? Others who could speak to their anima and animus? After all, Bugenhagen had one, but he was not a fighter. Yet, the others, Erebus, had said that there were only a couple left.
“Who are you talking about?” the executive wondered aloud.
Tseng shook his head wildly, dark hair all over the place. “No, no, no,” he denied loudly, with each spoken word his voice rising in volume. “I’m not like her! I’m NOTHING like her.” The last was nearly a shout until his voice cracked and suddenly dropped in until it was barely louder than a whisper. “I don’t hear them,” he choked out. “I don’t… I swear I don’t.” His eyes burned, and Tseng knew he was only seconds from crying, something he hadn’t done since he was a boy… since his mother had died less than a year after their exile.
Amber eyes were bewildered as his normally stoic friend, a man he had relied on for being as solid as a diamond, started to mumble incoherently, all rationale departing from his persona. Never had he seen Tseng react to ANYTHING in such an adverse manner. Here, the man was shaking and muttering, and there was nothing it seemed that he, Reeve, could say to draw his friend out. It was a situation in which he felt helpless since people like Tseng did NOT just suddenly have psychotic episodes for no apparent reason.
There was something. He just didn’t know what.
“Please, Kami… just let me go,” the Turk muttered as he weakly pulled on his arm, still trying to break free. His attempts were only half-hearted, his mind elsewhere. “I’m nothing like them.” His hand tugged lightly on his own hair as his eyes prickled again, and he could barely hold in the tears.
‘There’s more?’ Reeve questioned in his mind. ‘How much more? What other people on Gaia were strong enough? What if they had to fight them?’ He gripped the Turk’s arm with a bit more force, trying to compel the silver-eyed man to lock gazes with him.
“Dammit, Tseng! Listen to me! Who is it?”
[“Listen to me!”] The words echoed in his mind, and he couldn’t take anymore.
“My mother and her sister!” the Turk roared, a spark of fire still in him. “I’m not like them!” He broke then, the tears he had battled against fighting free. One hand reached for support as he started to weep without restraint, sagging against the wall. He jerked his fingers from Reeve’s now numb grasp and covered his face, body slowly sinking down to the floor.
“Please, don’t make me go.” The last sentence was a plea.
In the conference room, shocked looks were exchanged across the table as Yuffie refused to speak a word, the final shout she heard being the last she could endure. Tears flowed freely, almost mimicking her cousin’s actions as she wept. The three remaining Turks all shared glances in a seemingly unspoken agreement as Elena stood up from the table and moved to the door where Rude and Reno were standing.
Out in the corridor, Reeve attempted to catch his friend before he hurt himself, slowly lowering him down gently. He was at a complete loss, never having much experience dealing with mental breakdowns. He heard the door open and looked up to find the other Turks coming out into the hall. They tried to close the door behind them but were unable to because now Cloud and Barret stood there as well. As Tseng cried in his arms, Reeve’s eyes pleadingly sought theirs, wondering what he should do.
Reno nodded in understanding and moved to his boss’ side, slipping an arm under the weeping Turk’s shoulder as his former partner moved to Tseng’s other side. Together, the two lifted him up and carried him down the hall, utterly surprised by the utter limpness to his body. Elena followed in their wake, worrying her lip and directing them towards the resting room just outside the President’s office.
Shaking his head, Reeve rose from the floor to follow them, but Barret’s voice stopped him in his tracks. “Nuh-uh, Mr. ShinRa, you’re staying and explaining.”
The executive sighed as he watched the entire contingent of Turks tread down the hall, realizing there was nothing further he could do. He exhaled heavily before trudging back into the conference room. Cloud and Barret followed close behind, though the blond had yet to say anything.
Inside, there was silence as Aeris and Nanaki tried to calm their weeping friend, and the others were just as flabbergasted as Reeve. Ever the tactful one, Archer was the first to speak as the President collapsed into his chair and rubbed at his temples in a gesture very reminiscent of Tseng.
“What was that, Reeve?” the engineer asked with very wide, amethyst eyes.
The other man shook his head, still hoping to divert the headache he knew was sure to come. “I don’t know,” he said after a moment.
Cid raised an eyebrow. “The hell? You were out there!” he argued.
“I don’t know!” the executive snapped louder, on the verge of getting upset himself.
His shoulders were drawn tight with stress, and he was worried for a man that was his friend, who had become an even closer one in the past six months. Calm, quiet, dependable, steadfast Tseng: the same man that helped him with the heavy weight of running ShinRa company, the same person Reeve dumped all of his Reno worries on… even now, the Turk was weeping like a lost child, and that frightened the executive in a way he hadn’t thought possible. The fact that he couldn’t help only seemed to make the situation even worse.
“You wouldn’t understand,” Yuffie interrupted, her quiet voice easily slicing through the unnecessary tension.
Aeris rubbed a soothing circle on the sniffling ninja’s back. “What wouldn’t we understand?” she asked gently.
“Try us,” Vincent added in.
Yuffie sighed, teetering on the edge. However, in her broken heart, she knew that she needed to at least get it out there. They’d just have to sort it out themselves.
“I never knew that Tseng shared the same fate as his mother,” the ninja said very simply, pausing for a moment afterwards. “That much was always left unclear when his immediate family were exiled before I was born.” She hesitated again as she chewed on her lip.
Then, she took a deep breath before continuing, “There’s a minority of Wutaiians that exhibit certain characteristics… powers, abilities that are unnatural,” she stumbled over her choice of words but plowed on. “We don’t know where it comes from. The numbers are so small that for the longest time they were considered only the most unholy of us, the ones fallen from Dao-Chao’s grace. They were blasphemers. They were demons. They deserved death and nothing more.” She shook her head, her hair sliding forward to cover her eyes.
“You can’t possibly understand,” Yuffie repeated softly. “You see, murderers and rapists, the very monsters of any society, were treated better… were shown more mercy than these people.”
There was a collective gasp of astonishment from those around, prompting the girl to shake her head again.
“You don’t...” She shook her head. “Wutaiian’s have always been a superstitious and religious lot. It’s a dangerous combination,” she added as an afterthought. “If there was something we didn’t understand, we feared it. And hearing voices, some that even tell the future, was definitely under the category of the mysterious. In fact, it’s not unlike the way Aeris is with the Ancients, how she can hear them. Tseng’s mother, my a-aunt” Yuffie stuttered over the title. “It was found out that she was hearing voices, and being who she was, they couldn’t kill her. My grandfather just couldn’t bring himself to execute his own daughter, so they were exiled.” Her eyes had a very far away look to them.
“They could only ever step foot on our lands again on pain of death,” the little ninja went on slowly, “and to remove the mark of the exile was death as well, but they were far too proud to even consider such a thing.”
“‘Don’t make me go…’” Reeve murmured thoughtfully. He was speaking more to himself than any of the others. “That at least explains why Tseng pleaded for me not to make him go. I can’t imagine the fear he must have suffered, especially being forced to ignore those voices all these years.”
Vincent shook his head. “To act like that, he didn’t just ignore them or pretend he could not hear them. That’s an entirely different manner. Tseng acted like they did not exist at all,” the gunman commented softly, more to himself than to them. “He shut off a part of himself, never even allowing the thought of such things to take root. He was cold and calculating… brilliant for that very reason alone, though it may have cost him his sanity,” he continued thoughtfully, remembering well how it felt to have voices that were not his own in his head. And his voices had constantly spoke of bloodlust and killing. He didn’t even want to think of the type of things the Turk heard from his.
Zack suddenly inhaled sharply. “Dammit… Hojo!”
“What! What the *%$#&!@ about him?” the pilot spit out.
The ex-SOLDIER elaborated, “Imagine trying to keep something like that from Hojo… or even the rest of ShinRa for that matter. Yet, Tseng managed to hide it so well that even his own friends didn’t know!”
Archer nodded. “Yeah, just imagine what Hojo would have done if he’d known. To have that kind of gift… You have to admit, it’s an ability with a lot of potential for some very bad things.”
“So basically you mean to tell me that Tseng really can see the future?” Barret questioned.
Aeris shrugged. “Perhaps, but it would most likely be some form of telepathy. I believe that a number of the original Ancients had a natural affinity for it outside of what could be taught, so it would stand to reason that the same ability would show up in humans, too.”Cid snorted in denial. “Speaking of Ancient… it sure didn’t help him in their *%$#&!@ Temple.”
Everyone seemed stumped at that. However, it was Sephiroth’s swift and audible intake of breath that broke their confusion and drew everyone’s attention to him.
“It’s the only reason he survived,” the former General said with a soft shake of his head and a guilty look on his face.
And it truly was.
Sephiroth remembered it well, having been forced to watch in horror. It had seemed Jenova was going to murder Tseng where he stood, straight through the back with no honor. Yet, at the last moment, the Wutaiian had jerked away, just barely missing the killing blow.
Tseng hadn’t been saved by blind luck. He had lived because, for once, he had actually listened.
***
“They were screaming at me,” muttered Tseng as he lay in a curled ball on the bed in the resting room.
The other Turks were around him, listening in silence as he mostly talked to himself. They were confused and hated seeing their boss in his current position, but they wouldn’t leave him alone. Even now, they sat next to his bed, his back to them. Reno was directly behind his boss, his hand on his friend’s back rubbing small circle. Rude was to his left, sitting there quietly, not at all certain what to do. Elena was on the redhead’s right, her fingers trailing through Tseng’s downy and oh-so-soft hair, gently smoothing it out.
Tseng, in turn, simply laid there, mumbling to himself.
“You’re going to die. You must go now; you must leave. Get out of here! Death, can’t you taste it? It’s there, just hovering. Leave! Move! Listen to us! You’re going to die!”
He kept his back to them, not willing to let them see the look on his face: the wide-eyed and red-rimmed stare, the way he clutched at the blankets, nor did he want them to see his fear.
“I tried to ignore them, tried to pretend like I couldn’t hear. I dismissed them as nothing but… nothing, but they were always there in the back of my mind: whispering, warning… helpless. In the Temple though, they were screaming death, and I listened. Oh, how I listened to the warning. It saved my life, but still, I pretended like they weren’t there. Still, I dismissed their presence and now… exile.” His voice trailed off into a low mumble as sleep slowly overcame him, exhaustion winning out over his strange psychotic episode.
The Turks exchanged worried looks.
“You think the boss will be alright, yo?” Reno questioned, his voice quite and not boisterous as usual.
Elena shook her head as she rubbed her forehead with her fingers. “I didn’t ever think he would crack, but it all makes sense now.”
Rude nodded in his silent way. “We always thought he was just brilliant. We got into impossible situations and always seemed to come out alive. It was like he knew what the enemy had planned, knew of the traps ahead of time. He always seemed to know exactly what they were thinking.”
“He had seen the future,” Elena whispered with a nod of her head. “I can’t imagine what he had gone through, thinking that he was an abomination for doing so.”
The dark-skinned man nodded. “We’ll let him rest for now. Maybe when he wakes up he’ll feel more inclined to talking.” He eyed his partner. “And I know you will have enough tact not to tease him.”
Reno shrugged, a slight grin creeping onto his face. “Please, Rude, give me more credit than that. I’m not a complete moron.”
“That’s up for debate.” Elena snickered. She received a sour glare in return.
***
(Voice in head)
[“Flashback Dialogue”]
Chapter 40: Unlocked Tears
“Others?” questioned Reeve. “You mean there are even more anima out there?”
Tiamat nodded. “For certain, one of our own companions has not been able to contact his animus. He claims that it is not that he is being ignored, just cast aside as if he did not even exist. The bond only develops between those of great strength and wisdom, however, which limits the number of candidates.”
(You can’t… ignore me forever!)
As everyone was pondering this question, Elena happened to glance over at her commander, noticing that he was rather pale. He almost looked like he had seen a ghost.
“Boss?” she questioned in a whisper, leaning towards him. “Boss, are you okay?” the blonde tried again.
(… not… like her)
“I am fine, Elena,” he answered distractedly, running a hand through his loose hair as another of their friends spoke again.
“You said something about the forsaken,” Rude commented.
Seiryu inclined his head. “Those of us that have turned to Balaam, joining his side. Some were meant to be anima and have thus abandoned their animus.”
Cid frowned. “How do you know who is an animus and who isn’t? I mean, that green one said Tifa was an animus.” He jerked his thumb at Asclepius, who beamed.
“Each person emits a certain aura that has a much to do with the Lifestream flowing within their body,” Gilgamesh explained, elaborating carefully. “We can feel the difference between those of the common folk and those chosen for the animum bond. You would have known if you were abandoned due to a sudden feeling of loss accompanied by severe distress, depression… grief,” he added in an afterthought. “It would feel as if someone you knew and loved deeply had just died.”
Archer frowned in sudden understanding. “That explains much of it,” he murmured. Amethyst eyes darkened sadly as he looked towards his former lover. “Your anima has abandoned you, hasn’t it?”
The pilot shrugged, his fingers itching for a cigarette. “I dunno. Hadn’t been hearing any voices, if that’s what you’re asking.”
The engineer nodded as Reeve looked between them in confusion. “What are you talking about, Archer?”
“You wouldn’t know,” the amethyst-eyed man expressed. “Most of you went your own ways after the final battle, while I stayed on as Cid’s partner. I saw him at his lowest… but that’s not the point.” He turned to face his former lover. “You remember, it was about three months ago. It seemed everything was going to be alright, and then suddenly, you crashed and burned like nothing I have ever seen.”
Tiamat seemed to be thinking it over, her silvery glow flashing suddenly. “Yes, that does sound like the breaking of a bond. I can only wonder who it was that we lost to the other side,” she directed at her mate before turning back. “There are some that have also become neutral, refusing to take either side.”
“I don’t hear no voices either,” Barret said, furrowing his brow. “There was a point awhile back I thought I was missing something. I spent a month looking for this thing, just searching ‘round everywhere. Never found it, though,” he commented.
(… hide… no longer)
“Then,” Archer began, considering everything, “the only one left of us who does not acknowledge anything is Tseng.” He put one hand on his chin before turning to the Turk.
Immediately, the pressure fell on the Wutaiian, though no one else turned directly to him. Archer was simply making an observation. However, Tseng suddenly paled.
They knew… or at least, suspected. Had he not hidden it well?
Before anyone could ask him directly, Tseng reacted. “I don’t hear anything,” he bit out a little too forcefully.
(If… you… just… LISTEN TO ME!)
Aeris began, squinting her eyes at him, and he shifted uncomfortably. “There isn’t anyone left. So surely, you must--”
“I don’t hear any voices!” Tseng exclaimed as he shot to his feet and slammed his hands down on the table. The loud sound completely riveted everyone’s attention on him. “Quit asking me about the damn voices!” the Turk all but screamed as he stormed from the room, the door slamming shut behind him.
The conference room went silent as those closest to the normally stoic commander exchanged gazes. Reno’s mouth gaped open, the toothpick he had been chewing on just seconds earlier fell from his lips, only to clatter on the tabletop. Rude raised a brow and took off his sunglasses, as if checking to make sure he was seeing things correctly. Elena gasped quietly and brought a hand to her mouth, unsure of what to make of that little display, while Reeve watched his friend and confidant exit from the room with a surprised expression on his face.
The other members of their group, animas included, shifted uncomfortably, eyes watching each other over the large table. It was a highly uncharacteristic move on Tseng’s part, and no one knew what to say or even think.
However, it was the ninja’s voice that broke the silence. She gasped softly as she shook her head, a sudden look of understanding breaking out over her features.
“Oh, Kami… I didn’t know,” Yuffie said quietly. “We never should have put it that way.” She was shot several questioning looks, but she ignored them for the moment.
The Turks traded glances with Reeve, wondering who would be the best to go after their strangely behaving leader. With a brief nod, the executive rose to his feet and disappeared out the door. It closed in a decidedly quieter fashion than it had with Tseng’s exit.
Once he was gone, Reno and Rude also moved from their chairs, going to the door as if to prevent anyone else from leaving the room and affording their leader some privacy. Archer seemed insanely curious, chewing his lip in indecision as he tried to settle on whether or not he would actually get up to look. Yet, all in all, it was an almost deathly silent conference room.
In the hall, Tseng was leaning against the wall, as if trying to catch his breath, an almost manic gleam in his silvery gaze. His body trembled slightly as he gripped onto his chest with his hand, appearing as if he was trying to hold himself together physically. Reeve carefully approached the man that had become his closest confidante, outside of his lover, concern evident in his features.
“Are you alright?” he asked, keeping his voice soft.
The Wutaiian turned to look at him, a hard and unusual look to his face. It was nearly as cold as one of Vincent’s stares and just as frightening. There was something in his expression, something nameless. Nevertheless, it only served to chill Reeve completely, and he shivered involuntarily.
(… block… for the sake…)
“What the fuck do you think?” Tseng’s voice was thin, crisp, and clipped, as if he was only speaking out of necessity and barely restrained politeness. It was almost like he was hanging by a thin thread, and the slightest push would cause him to snap.
Though tempted to say something sarcastic, Reeve was more upset by the fact he couldn’t recall his friend acting in such a way before. He would expect something like this from Reno and Vincent and perhaps from Cid, too. Yet, the executive had never seen Tseng anything but calm and collected, even in the face of battle and when he had been on death’s doorstop a few months previous.
“No, I don’t think you are,” Reeve replied simply, giving a negative shake. His amber eyes were studying the other man very intently, looking for any sign of… well, he wasn’t entirely sure what he was looking for, but he would know it when he found it.
“Brilliant deduction,” Tseng hissed as he pushed himself off of the wall and tried to side-step his way beyond the executive. It was almost as like he was running away, fleeing for fear of something. Perhaps he could just walk it off. It was already in the process of fading, so he should be fine in a few moments, his walls firmly in place. He just needed a moment of peace, and it would be fine. He just needed a moment to regain his balance.
However, before he could get far, the other man grabbed his arm, refusing to allow him to leave.
Reeve started, “Tseng--”
“Don’t touch me,” the Turk snarled very coldly, rage evident in his tone, as well as his expression. “Let go of me.” He tugged on his arm in order to break the executive’s hold, but Reeve was not relenting.
Back in the conference room, Barret was the first to make a comment. Though he could not hear what was being said outside the door, Tseng’s actions were enough for him to say something. He eyed those gathered around the table before jerking his head in the direction of the door.
“You sure he’s related to Yuffie and not Vincent?” the gun-armed man asked with an odd expression.
There was a general growl of annoyance around the table as Cid and the former Turk shot the dark-skinned man equally angry glares. The pilot reached out and slapped the rude, gun-armed man across the back of his head.
“Shut up, %$#@%*&!” ordered the blond, shaking his head in disgust. “You’re too damn insensitive.”
“Be quiet!” Rude bit out loudly, again startling everyone with more out of character actions. Silence fell across the table as the voices outside rose in volume.
Reeve shook his head, determination and concern fiercely evident in his amber eyes. “I will not. You aren’t yourself, my friend,” he replied gently.
Tseng’s eyes narrowed and darkened with something that was more than anger, something more emotional and deeply hidden. It was a mystery that hadn’t seen the light of day in quite some time.
“Let go,” he ordered more firmly, dark hair sliding across his face as he attempted to jerk away. Yet, Reeve was a lot stronger than he looked, holding fast.
The two Turk partners traded glances in the doorway, able to hear every word that was said between the other pair. The red-haired man felt a bead of sweat trickle down his back. He feared a fight, recognizing the tone in their leader’s voice, and it was a dangerous one. Unlike Reeve, he had seen Tseng like this before, just once.
And the memory only caused him to tremble. Reno didn’t care to remember that particular night five… almost six years previous. Yet, even now he could recall it with clarity. He could envision the flash of rage crossing his boss’ eyes, hear the man snarl, see him shake with some nameless emotion before he stalked out of the ShinRa building and to the very worst part of the slums. The Wutaiian had remained there the entire night, fiercely fighting and savagely slaying all the monsters he found.
Reno could still hear their screams ringing in his ears sometimes, especially when he recalled how he had watched his friend scream at them, flinging out spells for all he was worth, and slashing at them with his katanas. He still remembered how he had wished Rude was there with them instead of away on a mission in Rocket Town. He still recalled the aftermath, when he had dragged his boss from the debris and had all but carried a bleeding and worn Tseng back to his apartment, patching him up as best he could so that they could actually go on assignment the following morning. He remembered that it had been a truly horrible night, one with his stomach twisted in on itself and with trepidation in his voice as he attempted to calm his friend with no success.
It was the same night they learned of Nibelheim.
“You are my friend,” Reeve insisted, shattering his lover’s recollections. “I won’t until you tell me what’s wrong.”
Tseng clenched his fist, and the executive could feel the trembling within the Wutaiian’s body. He was losing control, and that frightened the President more than anything he had come across. The look in the Turk’s eyes… Reeve had never seen him more haunted.
“Dammit, Reeve!” Tseng screamed, his voice echoing along the empty hall. “You don’t understand!”
For a moment, the executive took a step back, though he did not release his grip on Tseng’s arm. The unusual high pitch to his voice, the desperation in his words, and the desire to escape were all there, and the other man did not understand. A strange look crossed Reeve’s face, and he was completely confounded by the Wutaiian’s reactions.
Back in the conference room, Cloud was looking extremely puzzled. No one seemed willing to offer up an explanation as to what was going on. He looked to his wife, bewilderment plainly evident in her features.
Aeris traded unhappy frowns with the female Turk across the table. Elena was just as mystified as the rest of them, so the flower-girl took it upon herself to explain it to her husband.
Unwilling to say the words aloud and break the unnatural silence that had developed, she mouthed, “nervous breakdown” to him, hoping he would understand. That was the best explanation she could come up with, at any rate.
Elena noticed the exchange and nodded in agreement, the reasoning making perfect sense to her. The past six months had been hard on everyone, despite the peace, and with recent events, it was obvious their Turk commander had been stretched to his limits.
His near death, especially at the hands of a former ally, had bothered him a great deal, but apparently, even more so than he had let on. Not only that, but the Wutaiian had basically been elevated to the Vice Presidency of ShinRa before he had even fully recovered. He had taken on a great deal then, just as much or more than Reeve had, now filling in for both Heidegger and Scarlet. And just as with the executive, Tseng didn’t really like to delegate. Then, there were his original Turk duties, which Reno somewhat covered for him, and the additional tasks of increasing security after Tifa’s threats, tracking down who was behind it all in the first place, cleaning up Hojo’s leftovers, going through the mad scientist’s projects, and about ten thousand other things.
Elena had wondered about the amount of work Tseng had been doing, but she hadn’t really been sure how to broach the subject to him. Further, there weren’t many others left to delegate to… at least, not many they trusted. Reeve had been swamped as had Reno. Rude helped them as much as he could, but he had his wife and unborn child to worry about, not to mention helping Shera, Cid, and Archer get their business off the ground. The female Turk herself had little additional time or energy to undertake more tasks, so basically, Tseng had been forced to keep doing it all himself.
Despite her turbulent recollections, Elena was soon dragged back to reality as she heard another shout from the hallway with the follow-up “you see, he is having a breakdown” glance Aeris gave her husband.
Barret also noted the exchange but didn’t have enough tact not to comment aloud or even keep it to himself. “Really?” he questioned with surprise, looking between the two women. He shook his head. “I would have thought Reeve would have been the first ta go, considerin’ the pressure and all.”
Though not willing to say it aloud, Reno couldn’t help thinking along the same lines. However, his mind soon drifted along a similar path Elena’s had earlier taken, and he couldn’t help but reconsider. Tseng had taken on a lot lately, and he had been acting increasingly testy also, if the redhead recalled correctly. It hadn’t gotten too out of hand until Sephiroth had shown up, so Reno had originally put it to that. But now, he wasn’t entirely sure.
In turn, the former General sat still and silent, unsure if it was really his place to say anything at all. Sephiroth was worried for his friend… or would it be former friend? Regardless, the man didn’t think he should express as much. Some present were still angry with him, the little ninja included. He could feel Zack’s eyes on him, watching him cautiously, as if expecting something, but he ignored the dark-haired man. Sephiroth pretended as though he couldn’t feel the stares, just as he pretended that he was not in the conference room with the tense atmosphere.
Yet, despite Barret’s snotty comments, Aeris’ speculations, Cloud’s confusion, Sephiroth’s uncertainty, Reno and Elena’s deepening fears…
Despite all of that, it was Yuffie that understood what was really happening. But she was still too shocked by what she had learned to say anything. It had never occurred to her before. She had never thought that Tseng would be… like that, like her mom, and it startled the ninja in a way nothing else ever could. So she just sat quietly, listening to her cousin, her heart breaking right along with his.
“What don’t I understand?” Reeve asked gently, almost pleading with his friend.
Tseng shook his head, turning away from the executive. “You couldn’t. You don’t understand,” he pleaded as he attempted to pull himself free, managing to move just one step.
It was then that Reeve realized that his friend was shaking, quivering so violently that the executive’s eyes widened in surprise. Tseng was trembling like a child, and Tseng never trembled. He never quaked or shook. Tseng was always in control.
“Just let me go… please.” The Wutaiian’s voice was very small then. “Just… don’t touch me. I can’t focus with you touching me.”
“What don’t I understand,” Reeve repeated, a tiny trace of fear creeping into his heart, even as another chill went down his spine. “Is it about the anima?”
Tseng’s jaw worked, as if he was going to say something, but nothing came out. Silence descended in the hallway, and it was only punctuated by the Turk’s labored breathing.
In the conference room, it was quickly becoming obvious that the only one that could offer up an explanation was Yuffie. And she was beginning to act just like Tseng, which only baffled her friends, including Nanaki. As the pair conversed in the hall, Yuffie’s keen ears could hear every part of their conversation, and she knew without a doubt exactly what was going on. She knew that she had guessed it right in the beginning.
Her revelations hit her like a ton of bricks and sent a stab through her chest. Yet, she couldn’t face the inquisitive gazes of her friends since Tseng was right. He was absolutely correct. They wouldn’t understand. They could never understand. None of them could possibly comprehend it: the fear, the pain, the humiliation, the way he had been forced to hide his entire life. They couldn’t understand how he had hidden himself away, let part of himself die… just to be safe.
The girl lowered her head to the table, putting it in her hands as she tried to hide her reaction. She had never known. Tseng had never told her, not that they had had a chance to be close since his parents and he were exiled before she had even been born. She had never had the chance to meet him until after Meteor, and then, they had both been so busy. In truth, Yuffie hadn’t really known how to go about it. She had want to, and not just because her father had forbidden it, but she couldn’t figure out how to approach him.
Even now, the ninja could feel the eyes of her friends on her but refused to look up. Her body began to tremble on its own as she empathized with her cousin’s pain, her chest tightened as she imagined what he had gone through, what he had been forced to do to keep himself safe. She could only imagine what Hojo would have done to Tseng had the madman known, and Yuffie sincerely hoped that the bastard had never realized the prize that had been so easily within his reach.
The little ninja shivered again, thinking about her cousin. She had never known.
It was the lion wolf that first noticed his friend’s distress. He belatedly recalled her earlier teasing of the Turk, remembered that the two were related. Yet, he hadn’t thought they were that close; he hadn’t even realized Yuffie was on actual speaking terms with the exile outside of AVALANCHE get-togethers. He narrowed his golden eyes in concern as he gently laid a paw on his best friend’s thigh. Nanaki could feel her body trembling beneath his claws and feared that she was crying. He just didn’t understand why?
Worry crept into every part of him.
“What’s going on, brat?” Cid asked, the first to break the quiet that seemed to have stretched across the entire room. His tact left much to be desired, but then again, it wasn’t necessary.
All eyes turned towards the distressed ninja.
Nevertheless, the Wutaiian did not answer, merely shaking her head against her hands as she felt her throat close up. She could imagine the pain and solitude that her cousin must have suffered living every day in fear, terrified that someone would discover his secret and ostracize him, or worse… tell his employers.
“Yuffie?” Cloud’s voice this time, surprisingly gentle for him. “You know something that we don’t. We’re all in the dark here.” He shrugged helplessly. ‘What is it?”
“Please,” Aeris added in for good reason, “we only want to help.”
The ninja looked up from the table, and for the first time, everyone could see the pained look on her face and how her eyes seemed to swim with unshed tears. Like Tseng’s uncharacteristic explosion, seeing the ninja girl like that was also vastly unusual. It deeply shocked everyone there.
“Yuffie?” Nanaki coaxed gently, nosing her shoulder with his snout and trying to comfort her. She turned her eyes his direction, almost mechanically. “What don’t we know?”
The ninja swallowed thickly. They wouldn’t understand, but neither did Tseng… and that was what was so disheartening. It had been so ingrained in him, the fear and such. He didn’t think that anyone else would react in a positive way. He didn’t think anyone could react positively. These people were their friends. They wouldn’t judge, but Tseng couldn’t see that. All he could see were the questions, the accusations. It must have been like a direct flashback to him. She wasn’t even alive when he and his family had been exiled, but her mother had whispered the story to her in the dead of night, when no one else had been around to hear. Later, her father had also, the one time she had been brave enough to ask about her aunt and cousin, and she had not dared to ever do so again.
Other than her father, Tseng was her closest living relative. In fact, due to the war, they were the only two people she shared enough blood with to be legally related, even if she used the lax standards of Cosmo Canyon where people were blood-kin if they shared a single great, great, great grandparent. Yet, even considering all this, her father’s anger over the Turk and his situation were enough to keep even her from asking ever again. By Kami, as soon as he had realized that the Tseng that was now helping head ShinRa was one and the same with his disowned nephew, Godo had forbidden her from even coming within fifty feet of the company’s headquarters. He would have an aneurysm if he learned that she had been in the same room as the Turk Commander… that she had actually spoken with him.
And this thought only seemed to choke her up more. Tseng was her cousin, her family. Yet, her own father, who perfectly well knew the situation, had forbidden her from seeking him out.
It was in that moment, the little ninja knew for certain her friends could never possibly understand.
Yuffie wanted to tell them, but she couldn’t. She simply opened her mouth to tell them to back off, when she heard something that broke her heart even more, shattering it into pieces. She began to cry, knowing exactly to what and to whom Tseng was referring.
“Look,” Reeve said, his voice carrying in from the hallway. “We know it has to be you. You are the only one left. We know you are hearing them.” His tone was insistent but gentle, confusion laced into every word.
Tseng shook his head, eyes closed as he started to mutter something under his breath. The words were barely coherent to Reeve and bordering on the edge of madness. They sent another chill down his spine.
“I don’t hear them. I swear I don’t. I’m not like her!”
The words were like a mantra, mixed in with more unintelligible muttering as Tseng started to rub on his forehead, just over the jewel that was as much a part of him as his dark hair and silvery eyes. It appeared that he wasn’t even really listening to the executive anymore.
“Like who?” Reeve frowned in bewilderment.
Were there more? Others who could speak to their anima and animus? After all, Bugenhagen had one, but he was not a fighter. Yet, the others, Erebus, had said that there were only a couple left.
“Who are you talking about?” the executive wondered aloud.
Tseng shook his head wildly, dark hair all over the place. “No, no, no,” he denied loudly, with each spoken word his voice rising in volume. “I’m not like her! I’m NOTHING like her.” The last was nearly a shout until his voice cracked and suddenly dropped in until it was barely louder than a whisper. “I don’t hear them,” he choked out. “I don’t… I swear I don’t.” His eyes burned, and Tseng knew he was only seconds from crying, something he hadn’t done since he was a boy… since his mother had died less than a year after their exile.
Amber eyes were bewildered as his normally stoic friend, a man he had relied on for being as solid as a diamond, started to mumble incoherently, all rationale departing from his persona. Never had he seen Tseng react to ANYTHING in such an adverse manner. Here, the man was shaking and muttering, and there was nothing it seemed that he, Reeve, could say to draw his friend out. It was a situation in which he felt helpless since people like Tseng did NOT just suddenly have psychotic episodes for no apparent reason.
There was something. He just didn’t know what.
“Please, Kami… just let me go,” the Turk muttered as he weakly pulled on his arm, still trying to break free. His attempts were only half-hearted, his mind elsewhere. “I’m nothing like them.” His hand tugged lightly on his own hair as his eyes prickled again, and he could barely hold in the tears.
‘There’s more?’ Reeve questioned in his mind. ‘How much more? What other people on Gaia were strong enough? What if they had to fight them?’ He gripped the Turk’s arm with a bit more force, trying to compel the silver-eyed man to lock gazes with him.
“Dammit, Tseng! Listen to me! Who is it?”
[“Listen to me!”] The words echoed in his mind, and he couldn’t take anymore.
“My mother and her sister!” the Turk roared, a spark of fire still in him. “I’m not like them!” He broke then, the tears he had battled against fighting free. One hand reached for support as he started to weep without restraint, sagging against the wall. He jerked his fingers from Reeve’s now numb grasp and covered his face, body slowly sinking down to the floor.
“Please, don’t make me go.” The last sentence was a plea.
In the conference room, shocked looks were exchanged across the table as Yuffie refused to speak a word, the final shout she heard being the last she could endure. Tears flowed freely, almost mimicking her cousin’s actions as she wept. The three remaining Turks all shared glances in a seemingly unspoken agreement as Elena stood up from the table and moved to the door where Rude and Reno were standing.
Out in the corridor, Reeve attempted to catch his friend before he hurt himself, slowly lowering him down gently. He was at a complete loss, never having much experience dealing with mental breakdowns. He heard the door open and looked up to find the other Turks coming out into the hall. They tried to close the door behind them but were unable to because now Cloud and Barret stood there as well. As Tseng cried in his arms, Reeve’s eyes pleadingly sought theirs, wondering what he should do.
Reno nodded in understanding and moved to his boss’ side, slipping an arm under the weeping Turk’s shoulder as his former partner moved to Tseng’s other side. Together, the two lifted him up and carried him down the hall, utterly surprised by the utter limpness to his body. Elena followed in their wake, worrying her lip and directing them towards the resting room just outside the President’s office.
Shaking his head, Reeve rose from the floor to follow them, but Barret’s voice stopped him in his tracks. “Nuh-uh, Mr. ShinRa, you’re staying and explaining.”
The executive sighed as he watched the entire contingent of Turks tread down the hall, realizing there was nothing further he could do. He exhaled heavily before trudging back into the conference room. Cloud and Barret followed close behind, though the blond had yet to say anything.
Inside, there was silence as Aeris and Nanaki tried to calm their weeping friend, and the others were just as flabbergasted as Reeve. Ever the tactful one, Archer was the first to speak as the President collapsed into his chair and rubbed at his temples in a gesture very reminiscent of Tseng.
“What was that, Reeve?” the engineer asked with very wide, amethyst eyes.
The other man shook his head, still hoping to divert the headache he knew was sure to come. “I don’t know,” he said after a moment.
Cid raised an eyebrow. “The hell? You were out there!” he argued.
“I don’t know!” the executive snapped louder, on the verge of getting upset himself.
His shoulders were drawn tight with stress, and he was worried for a man that was his friend, who had become an even closer one in the past six months. Calm, quiet, dependable, steadfast Tseng: the same man that helped him with the heavy weight of running ShinRa company, the same person Reeve dumped all of his Reno worries on… even now, the Turk was weeping like a lost child, and that frightened the executive in a way he hadn’t thought possible. The fact that he couldn’t help only seemed to make the situation even worse.
“You wouldn’t understand,” Yuffie interrupted, her quiet voice easily slicing through the unnecessary tension.
Aeris rubbed a soothing circle on the sniffling ninja’s back. “What wouldn’t we understand?” she asked gently.
“Try us,” Vincent added in.
Yuffie sighed, teetering on the edge. However, in her broken heart, she knew that she needed to at least get it out there. They’d just have to sort it out themselves.
“I never knew that Tseng shared the same fate as his mother,” the ninja said very simply, pausing for a moment afterwards. “That much was always left unclear when his immediate family were exiled before I was born.” She hesitated again as she chewed on her lip.
Then, she took a deep breath before continuing, “There’s a minority of Wutaiians that exhibit certain characteristics… powers, abilities that are unnatural,” she stumbled over her choice of words but plowed on. “We don’t know where it comes from. The numbers are so small that for the longest time they were considered only the most unholy of us, the ones fallen from Dao-Chao’s grace. They were blasphemers. They were demons. They deserved death and nothing more.” She shook her head, her hair sliding forward to cover her eyes.
“You can’t possibly understand,” Yuffie repeated softly. “You see, murderers and rapists, the very monsters of any society, were treated better… were shown more mercy than these people.”
There was a collective gasp of astonishment from those around, prompting the girl to shake her head again.
“You don’t...” She shook her head. “Wutaiian’s have always been a superstitious and religious lot. It’s a dangerous combination,” she added as an afterthought. “If there was something we didn’t understand, we feared it. And hearing voices, some that even tell the future, was definitely under the category of the mysterious. In fact, it’s not unlike the way Aeris is with the Ancients, how she can hear them. Tseng’s mother, my a-aunt” Yuffie stuttered over the title. “It was found out that she was hearing voices, and being who she was, they couldn’t kill her. My grandfather just couldn’t bring himself to execute his own daughter, so they were exiled.” Her eyes had a very far away look to them.
“They could only ever step foot on our lands again on pain of death,” the little ninja went on slowly, “and to remove the mark of the exile was death as well, but they were far too proud to even consider such a thing.”
“‘Don’t make me go…’” Reeve murmured thoughtfully. He was speaking more to himself than any of the others. “That at least explains why Tseng pleaded for me not to make him go. I can’t imagine the fear he must have suffered, especially being forced to ignore those voices all these years.”
Vincent shook his head. “To act like that, he didn’t just ignore them or pretend he could not hear them. That’s an entirely different manner. Tseng acted like they did not exist at all,” the gunman commented softly, more to himself than to them. “He shut off a part of himself, never even allowing the thought of such things to take root. He was cold and calculating… brilliant for that very reason alone, though it may have cost him his sanity,” he continued thoughtfully, remembering well how it felt to have voices that were not his own in his head. And his voices had constantly spoke of bloodlust and killing. He didn’t even want to think of the type of things the Turk heard from his.
Zack suddenly inhaled sharply. “Dammit… Hojo!”
“What! What the *%$#&!@ about him?” the pilot spit out.
The ex-SOLDIER elaborated, “Imagine trying to keep something like that from Hojo… or even the rest of ShinRa for that matter. Yet, Tseng managed to hide it so well that even his own friends didn’t know!”
Archer nodded. “Yeah, just imagine what Hojo would have done if he’d known. To have that kind of gift… You have to admit, it’s an ability with a lot of potential for some very bad things.”
“So basically you mean to tell me that Tseng really can see the future?” Barret questioned.
Aeris shrugged. “Perhaps, but it would most likely be some form of telepathy. I believe that a number of the original Ancients had a natural affinity for it outside of what could be taught, so it would stand to reason that the same ability would show up in humans, too.”Cid snorted in denial. “Speaking of Ancient… it sure didn’t help him in their *%$#&!@ Temple.”
Everyone seemed stumped at that. However, it was Sephiroth’s swift and audible intake of breath that broke their confusion and drew everyone’s attention to him.
“It’s the only reason he survived,” the former General said with a soft shake of his head and a guilty look on his face.
And it truly was.
Sephiroth remembered it well, having been forced to watch in horror. It had seemed Jenova was going to murder Tseng where he stood, straight through the back with no honor. Yet, at the last moment, the Wutaiian had jerked away, just barely missing the killing blow.
Tseng hadn’t been saved by blind luck. He had lived because, for once, he had actually listened.
***
“They were screaming at me,” muttered Tseng as he lay in a curled ball on the bed in the resting room.
The other Turks were around him, listening in silence as he mostly talked to himself. They were confused and hated seeing their boss in his current position, but they wouldn’t leave him alone. Even now, they sat next to his bed, his back to them. Reno was directly behind his boss, his hand on his friend’s back rubbing small circle. Rude was to his left, sitting there quietly, not at all certain what to do. Elena was on the redhead’s right, her fingers trailing through Tseng’s downy and oh-so-soft hair, gently smoothing it out.
Tseng, in turn, simply laid there, mumbling to himself.
“You’re going to die. You must go now; you must leave. Get out of here! Death, can’t you taste it? It’s there, just hovering. Leave! Move! Listen to us! You’re going to die!”
He kept his back to them, not willing to let them see the look on his face: the wide-eyed and red-rimmed stare, the way he clutched at the blankets, nor did he want them to see his fear.
“I tried to ignore them, tried to pretend like I couldn’t hear. I dismissed them as nothing but… nothing, but they were always there in the back of my mind: whispering, warning… helpless. In the Temple though, they were screaming death, and I listened. Oh, how I listened to the warning. It saved my life, but still, I pretended like they weren’t there. Still, I dismissed their presence and now… exile.” His voice trailed off into a low mumble as sleep slowly overcame him, exhaustion winning out over his strange psychotic episode.
The Turks exchanged worried looks.
“You think the boss will be alright, yo?” Reno questioned, his voice quite and not boisterous as usual.
Elena shook her head as she rubbed her forehead with her fingers. “I didn’t ever think he would crack, but it all makes sense now.”
Rude nodded in his silent way. “We always thought he was just brilliant. We got into impossible situations and always seemed to come out alive. It was like he knew what the enemy had planned, knew of the traps ahead of time. He always seemed to know exactly what they were thinking.”
“He had seen the future,” Elena whispered with a nod of her head. “I can’t imagine what he had gone through, thinking that he was an abomination for doing so.”
The dark-skinned man nodded. “We’ll let him rest for now. Maybe when he wakes up he’ll feel more inclined to talking.” He eyed his partner. “And I know you will have enough tact not to tease him.”
Reno shrugged, a slight grin creeping onto his face. “Please, Rude, give me more credit than that. I’m not a complete moron.”
“That’s up for debate.” Elena snickered. She received a sour glare in return.
***