Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Shattered Ice Redux ❯ Shifting the Balance ( Chapter 12 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Chapter Twelve: Shifting the Balance
“He is not dead!” Cid argued, slamming his fist on the table in the conference room. The pilot glared angrily at the faces present, blue eyes flashing.
“Then where is he?” Barret shot back fiercely, rising to his feet as the legs of his chair scraped loudly across the floor. “He wasn't at the crater! Fuck's sake man, he fell into the Lifestream!”
Cid stuttered as he fell back into his seat. “I don't know, dammit,” he admitted, automatically reaching for a cigarette. “But that doesn't mean he's dead.”
“Look,” Yuffie began, gathering the attention of everyone. “I want to find Cloud just as much as everyone, but where can we even begin to look?”
No one offered up a suggestion, just looking down glumly at the table. It had been two days since they had all escaped from ShinRa's clutches in Junon and five days since Meteor had first appeared in the sky, a glowing red ball of doom. Sephiroth had gone through with his plan, summoning destruction from heaven. The sight of it in the sky only served to show them of their failure in stopping the crazed ex-General.
Since then, they had been scouring the world for Cloud. They had checked the crater first since that was the last place they had seen their spiky-headed leader. However, they had unfortunately discovered the massive energy barrier that Sephiroth had erected around himself. They had no chance of getting past it. If Cloud was within, they had no hope of rescuing him.
Now, they sat around the table in the meeting room of the Highwind, trying to decide what to do. Other than Vincent, that is. The broody ex-Turk was leaning against the wall closest to the door, red eyes solemnly taking it all in.
Cid was the most steadfast, insisting that Cloud had not died. It was mostly because the task of leader had fallen to him, and he really was not prepared for it nor did he want the power. But the others had insisted that he was the best for the job. In all honesty, he was the only one for the job. Vincent could lead, but the chances that they would actually listen to him were only slightly better than the chances that Rude would declare his undying love for Shera.
Besides, it was Cid's airship that they used, not to mention that the crew had basically mutinied against ShinRa, refusing to work for anyone other than him from now on. It was actually kind of amusing how they still referred to him as Captain. Cid was just pleased to have his airship back, but he could have done without the stressful responsibilities of being leader. He constantly worried that he would make the wrong decision, that somewhere, someway, he would screw it all up. He didn't know how Cloud handled all the pressure. No wonder the blond was a literal basket case.
Nanaki suddenly cleared his throat. “I think I may have an idea.”
“Spit it out then, for Planet's sake,” Cid spat out angrily, having little to no patience. His short-temperedness was noted by crimson eyes, which narrowed in thought.
Nanaki shook his head at the pilot before continuing, nonplussed by his vehemence. “My grandfather may know where we can find Cloud. He always talked about places where the Lifestream gushes up. If Cloud indeed fell into it, we might be able to find him at one of these locations. Unfortunately, I do not remember them,” he finished with an idle shrug.
“So,” Yuffie reiterated, “we just go to Cosmo Canyon and ask old Bugey ourselves.” She pumped a fist into the air, clearly pleased with her friend's idea.
Barret harrumphed, shooting her a stern glare. “Learn respect for your elders!” he snapped at the ninja.
She stuck out her tongue in response. “Ah, can it!” she huffed, crossing her arms angrily.
“Shut up!” Cid snapped, finally reaching his limit as his voice roared and echoed around the conference room. He rubbed his head furiously, already feeling a headache developing, one that the cigarette he was madly puffing on did nothing to ease. It seemed that this had been happening a lot lately. He did not know how Cloud put up with it all.
Barret and Yuffie stared at him, surprised. Cid had always been rather short-tempered, but it didn't usually take so little.
“Cosmo Canyon, it is then,” the Captain continued tiredly.
“It shouldn't take long,” Reeve commented quietly. Among everyone, it seemed he had been the most subdued, not participating in any of the arguments. If he had been wearing black, he might have been confused for Vincent. “We are hovering over Rocket Town right now.”
Cid huffed, waving his hands in dismissal. “Fine, fine, whatever.” He pulled his cigarette from his mouth, putting it out against the burnished tabletop. “Go do something until we get there. I don't care what.” He turned his attentions to Yuffie, narrowing his eyes. “Just don't &*!@#$% TOUCH anything.”
She stared back indignantly. “I don't want anything that belongs to your crummy old airship anyways,” she commented with a haughty sniff as she jumped up from the table and headed for the door.
Cid didn't respond. He just furiously rubbed the same spot on his head, eyes closed. His shoulders were slumped with weariness, face seeming even more age-lined and creased. He looked like a man on the edge of his ropes, stretched thin. The others took their cues to leave. It appeared that the frustrated pilot just wanted to be left alone.
Only Vincent remained, calm, thoughtful eyes watching the pilot. He hadn't really had the opportunity to talk to Cid. The airship had plenty of rooms, so no one had to share at all. Ever since that night in Icicle Inn, the two of them had not had a moment alone, save those few seconds in Laboratory Five, and now, Cid looked like he really needed a break.
Not that the separation had done anything for erasing the pilot from Vincent's mind. He had done nothing but think of Cid and that night for the past few days. How the blond had tasted and sounded; how his skin felt and the sensation of being buried deep inside of him. The warmth of his emotions and the depth of looking into sky blue eyes left him feeling like a lovesick moron.
Despite his misgivings and knowing that he shouldn't, he wanted. He wanted Cid; he wanted that feeling again, and in many ways, he wanted to toss aside his vengeance and attempt to be human, to find what he used to be beneath the scars and the monsters and the pain. But it was a useless, a foolish desire that made him question his true wants and needs. He was confused, plainly put, and Vincent wasn't sure how to handle his puzzlement.
Yet, even more so, despite all that, the sight of Cid looking so weary and worn struck a chord inside of him, something that hadn't stirred or warmed since he had woken from his long sleep. He wanted to be of comfort to his friend, even if he knew that honestly there was nothing he could do.
“I know you're still standing there,” the blond commented wearily, his voice cutting through the gunman's thoughts. Cid opened his eyes and lifted his head slightly, blue eyes meeting crimson.
“It's been a week, Cid,” Vincent stated quietly, refusing to move or look away.
Cid sighed, seemingly downcast. “I know,” he stated finally. He was the first to tear his eyes away from the gunman as he thrust himself wearily up from the table to wander over to the window.
“Then why?”
“I don't want this,” Cid murmured, all traces of his normally brash and uncouth behavior gone. He reached up with one hand, a finger trailing lightly over the smooth, cold glass. Freedom was just beyond his reach. “Didn't ask for it. Hell, it isn't even my battle to fight.”
Chewing his lip with indecision, Vincent didn't respond. Instead, he pushed himself off the wall and moved silently towards the window. He stood next to Cid, a mere hairsbreadth away, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared out through the glass as well. The scenery was rapidly flying by beneath them, and the sky was pure blue, just like Cid's eyes.
“What will you do, in the end, when all hope is lost?” He didn't know why such solemn and pessimistic words tumbled from his lips, but he found he couldn't really say what he wanted, so he settled for what he knew and was used to. It was safer that way. And that was what he wanted, wasn't it?
Cid shook his head, closing his eyes. “I don't know.” His head still hurt, this group having quite the knack for handing out headaches. But he was feeling slightly better. Being close to the gunman had a calming effect on him, despite inwardly wanting more than friendship. He had already forgiven the events from before, and now, he just wanted Vincent to realize what they had and what they could still be.
Almost every night for the past few days, he had been waking up with nearly wet sheets. He hadn't done that since he was a fuckin' teenager, just discovering his attraction to males. The &%#$ erotic dreams would not let him alone, just another reason he was stressed out. No sleep, horny as fuck, and a group of children flying around in an airship searching for a lost cause, all under his command.
Cid sighed audibly.
“We will find him,” Vincent said softly, in a tone that could almost be counted as encouraging was it not coming from him.
“Tch,” the pilot muttered. His hand returned to his face, rubbing the same spot. If he kept that up, he was going to give himself a bruise.
There was a rustling of cloth, barely audible, and then Cid felt a heavy weight on his shoulders, the left heavier than the right. He smelled something spicy and mysterious, a scent he had come to recognize as being unique to Vincent. No matter what: after battle, having just woken up, trekking across the ground for days… the gunman never lost that enigmatic scent and flavor. It was intoxicating. He opened his eyes, realizing that Vincent was standing directly behind him.
“What are you--” Cid began, entirely perplexed. This was the conference room; anyone could walk in, not to mention it was almost venturing beyond the realm of their friendship.
“Shh,” Vincent hushed. He stepped closer, sliding his arms down to pull Cid into a warm and comforting embrace. The pilot fit quite neatly into his arms, being four inches shorter than him. It was a guilty pleasure for the former Turk to touch what he had assured himself he could not have again.
Cid relaxed into his touch, allowing himself to rest comfortably against Vincent's chest. He closed his eyes, letting out a small sigh. This was a side of the gunman that he had not seen before and had never thought he ever would. Whatever had possessed him to be so comforting, Cid hoped it never went away. He always knew Vincent was human beneath it all; he just wished the others would understand it as well.
But as much as he wanted to never move from the position he also knew that they couldn't stay that way. “The others…”
“Have all gone to do `something', just as you commanded,” the ex-Turk finished, his breath puffing against Cid's ears as he continued to stare out the window. “You don't have to say or do anything. Just relax for a moment; you need it.”
The blond sighed audibly, giving in to what he desired. He relaxed in the gunman's arms, looking solemnly out the window. They were just clearing Mt. Nibel and the surrounding mountain range. Soon, they would be over Cosmo Canyon. Until then, he could enjoy this time. But still, he felt he had to say something.
“Why?” Cid asked softly, not needing to explain further.
Vincent exhaled, the other man feeling the small puff of air against his hair. “There are many things I do not understand, Highwind, and this is one of them.”
“So, it is Highwind again?”
Vincent did not answer. In truth, he had no idea what he would say. Parts of him wanted to draw the stubborn pilot in for a lengthy and breath-taking kiss. And other parts of him wanted to run screaming from the room, as far away from the risk as he could manage. There was a war in his icy and protected heart, and the outcome was anyone's guess.
“Is it that hard, Vince?” Cid questioned. He paused as he considered his statement, choosing to elaborate a bit further. “To let it go, I mean. You don't have to understand everything. Sometimes, you just gotta live.”
For a moment, the gunman was quiet as he mulled the words over in his mind. He tightened his hold on the pilot as the words flowed from some unknown place.
“Can sins… be forgiven?” he asked abruptly, the question seemingly entirely unrelated [1].
“Uh…” Cid wasn't entirely sure how to answer that. He wasn't a deep, philosophical thinker, and it made him want to scratch his head. He wasn't particularly religious either, more of a science man, so the query perplexed him on many fronts.
Vincent shook his head, amused by the pilot's response; he hadn't really expected anything more. “Never mind. Forget I asked.”
“But--“
“No. It is not important,” the dark-haired man insisted.
Silence fell, but the moment was more relaxed than tense with both men lost to their own thoughts. Finally, Cid shifted restlessly. Vincent had his arms wrapped loosely around him but still managed to convey the idea that he was not going to release him anytime soon.
“Let me go, Vince,” the blond ordered softly. It wasn't so much that he wanted to be free, but that he worried about the repercussions. That suddenly the gunman would realize he was being comforting and dangerously close to something outside the parameters of friendship and would push him away. Cid didn't want to feel rejected again. It hurt far too much the first time.
Vincent did not respond, merely allowing his arms to fall at his sides. He took an unconscious step backwards, but he didn't leave the room, just watched as Cid turned around to face him.
Finally, the pilot could look at him in the face. During the whole moment, he could see nothing of the expressions in those crimson eyes. He believed that of all the crew, he was the only one who had seen anything other than the impassive chill inside those features. In many ways, Cid was proud of that. In others, it was a pity because that meant Vincent was still afraid.
The former Turk was the first to speak. “We will probably be landing rather soon. They will need you in the cockpit.”
Cid shook his head, laughing softly. “I think I am beginning to understand you.”
Vincent looked at him curiously, raising an eyebrow as he frowned slightly. Understand him? Right.
Internally, he snorted. He scarcely understood himself.
“Is that so?”
The pilot took several steps towards Vincent, a mischievous gleam appearing in his blue eyes. The ex-Turk did not move, however, curious as to what the pilot had planned. Just one more step forward, and Cid moved far faster than Vincent anticipated. He grabbed the gunman's head with one hand, pulling his face down into a kiss, even as the other snaked around Vincent's back, urging him closer.
It seemed like forever since they had last been together like this, sharing something as intimate as a kiss. Vincent didn't resist the slightest, eagerly opening his mouth to admit the blond. He slid his own tongue into Cid's mouth, delighting in the flavor that he had found himself missing. Cigarettes and tea, like a mantra that recited over and over in his flavor-starved brain. He brought up his own arms, wrapping them around Cid to pull the pilot closer, their bodies flush against each other.
Cid lost himself in the touch of the gunman. He could feel tendrils of arousal already beginning to curl up within him: the smooth glide of his tongue in and around the pilot's mouth, the gentle caress of a hand against his back, the press of Vincent's arousal against his own. It came as no surprise when it became incredibly difficult for him to pull away, even when air became a necessity.
Reluctantly, the pilot broke off the kiss with a lingering nip to plush and thoroughly reddened lips, raising his eyes to Vincent's. It seemed the gunman was no less affected. There was a flush to his pale features, his lips were parted slightly, and his breathing had become ragged. In one simple kiss, both men had gone from slightly irritated to incredibly horny.
At a loss for words, Vincent struggled to find something to convey the turmoil that was cycling within him. He wanted, but he didn't. He wanted, but he couldn't. He wanted, but he knew he shouldn't. There was much he didn't understand, including his strange infatuation with the rough and gruff pilot. Had he forgotten Lucrecia that quickly? Was he that eager to make the same mistakes?
“Cid… I…” he trailed off, frustrated with his inability to form a coherent thought.
The Captain shook his head. “Now is not the time. We will be arriving in Cosmo Canyon any moment now.”
The gunman sighed and released Cid from his hold, taking a step back. He took deep breaths, trying to get his body under his control. He was surprised by how difficult that simple task had become. Somehow, the pilot had managed to get under his skin in the simple time that they had known each other. Under his skin and beneath the carefully crafted barriers, leaving him reeling in the wake of things he hadn't known he wanted until that moment, even going so far as to make him question his decisions.
Vincent took a deep breath, his gaze shifting past the pilot to look out the window. “Sometimes, it is just that difficult,” he said enigmatically, referring to Cid's question of before.
The pilot raised a brow, reaching for a cigarette. “And sometimes, you just gotta try. If you've got nothing in your life worth trying for, then you've got nothing worth living for.”
* * *
Nanaki smiled to himself as he softly padded away from the door of the conference room. The actuality that he might have been discovered was worth the risk having seen what he saw. The lion-wolf now knew that his suspicions were correct. There was something going on between Vincent and Cid. Luckily for him, the two had not noticed him peering in from the doorway. He had witnessed their hug but had left before his good one eye was scarred for the rest of his life. It appeared the cold-hearted gunman was not as frozen as the others thought.
He made his way into the depths of the airship, a small chuckle escaping his fanged mouth. He had plans to return to the small room that had been given to him. If they were going to Cosmo Canyon, he was going to retrieve something for his grandfather. Nanaki moved quietly through the metal hallways of the Highwind, grateful for the stealth his cat-like paws granted him.
Suddenly, a presence appeared in front of him, one he quickly recognized.
“What are you grinning about?” Yuffie teased, her voice light and cheerful.
Nanaki looked up, surprised that he hadn't noticed her approach. Perhaps he was delighting too much in his discovery.
”Nothing,” he answered, putting as much innocence into the one word as he could.
She was leaning up against the wall, nonchalantly, twirling one of her throwing stars around her fingers and grinning. “Aw, come on. You tell me your secret, and I'll tell you mine.” She leaned forward slightly, winking. “It's a good one. I promise.”
Nanaki snorted as he walked by the ninja, heading for his room. It was at the far end of the corridor, one of the smallest and furthest. Yuffie pushed herself off the wall and fell into stride next to him.
“You don't have any secrets.”
“How do you know?” Yuffie pouted, still twirling the star around with dexterity, showing just how nimble she truly was. The little ninja was fast, probably the quickest among their little group.
“All right,” Nanaki responded, though he didn't quite believe her as he glanced up with skepticism. “Then, what secret do you have?”
“Nuh uh.” Yuffie shook her head in denial, wagging one finger at him. “You first.”
He raised an orangish red brow, slightly amused by their little back and forth banter. “How do I know you are not bluffing?”
She grinned, a wide smile that did nothing to assure him. “You'll just have to trust me.”
Nanaki snorted again, unable to help himself as he chuckled. “Right, and while I am at it, why don't you give me back the Earth materia. I might need it.”
Yuffie's eyes widened as her grin was replaced by an entirely innocent expression. “What Earth materia?”
“The one you took from my Fire Armlet a few seconds ago.”
She pouted again, rolling the small green ball between her fingers. “I might need it, too.” Emerald reflected in her greedy brown eyes, displaying a mischievous intent.
“I do remember Cid allowing you to have Ifrit.”
Yuffie did not respond, seemingly transfixed by the materia she had flipping around in her hand.
“Well, didn't he?” Nanaki pressed.
She frowned, mumbling under her breath. “It's not strong enough.”
Nanaki sighed in minor irritation. Yuffie's kleptomania was somewhat of a nuisance, but to be honest, she never really kept anything she took. It was more like the challenge than the actual prize to her. Or at least, that was how the lion-wolf had it figured. He looked up, glad to see that he had finally arrived at his room. Unlike the others, there was no knob on this door; Nanaki had had one of the crewmen remove it for easy access.
“You are more than powerful enough on your own,” he complimented as he pushed his way into the room.
Yuffie snorted, following behind. “You said you need it, too. And you have way more strength than I do, Aki.” She rolled it once more about her fingers before giving it back to him, slipping it easily into his Armlet on his right foreleg.
“Hmm,” the fire-wolf said in response. He padded over to his bed, if that is what one would call it. It appeared that despite his human-like intelligence, he still had cat-like tendencies. The covers for the bed were pulled into a ball and settled down in the middle.
“You gonna tell me whatcha were smiling at earlier?” Yuffie asked, returning to the subject they were previously discussing. She plopped herself down in the only chair in the room, reclining comfortably as she propped her feet up on the end table.
Nanaki nosed into the covers, teeth gripping onto some object. Yuffie watched with fascination as he pulled out a small metal chain with a mysterious symbol hooked onto it. With great manipulation, he managed to get it around his neck where it swung gently, the heavy silver metal a contrast to his brilliant fur.
“What's that?” Yuffie asked with clear fascination, forgetting her earlier question, eyes drawn to the sparkle.
“Something I found for grandfather in the Temple of the Ancients. I thought he might like to have it.”
“Wow,” the ninja murmured, eyes shining. “It is beautiful.” Her eyes traveled over the thick metal that, though slightly rusted and dirty, was still a real work of art. The symbol itself was something mysterious: a large cross with a serpent coiled around it and a small crown adorning the top where the metal looped through it.
Nanaki shrugged his shoulders. “I believe that it is quite old. My grandfather will undoubtedly like it.”
Yuffie nodded, tearing her eyes away from the necklace and returning her attentions to her previous questions. She was still burning with curiosity over what Nanaki hadn't told her. She sat up in the chair and fixed the lion-wolf with her most intent stare.
“Well?” she questioned, as if that one word explained everything.
Nanaki raised an eyebrow in question. “Well, what?”
“Your secret, silly; I still want to know.”
He shook his head. “I can't. It is not mine to tell.”
Yuffie's eyes widened. “Ooh. Then, it must be about someone I know! Who is it?” Clapping her hands together, she lowered her voice deviously. “It's about Reeve, isn't it?”
Nanaki glanced at her, an amused expression on his face as he leapt up onto the bed, making himself comfortable. “Whatever gave you that idea?”
She grinned. “Just some of my own suspicions. But don't worry; I will get to the bottom of all these mysteries.”
“I don't doubt it,” responded Nanaki dryly, but an announcement from the cockpit interrupted the conversation between them before Yuffie could respond.
“Attention crew. We will be landing at Cosmo Canyon shortly. Prepare for descent.”
Sighing, the ninja rose as Nanaki roused himself off the bed.
“Duty calls,” the girl remarked with a cocky hand to her hip. “Too bad for you. No nap after all,” she teased, reaching over to run her hands through his fur.
Nanaki rolled his eye in response but leaned into the touch. He gave her a wolfish smile as he padded to the door.
* * *
“Grandfather!” Nanaki exclaimed happily, much like a young child.
“Nanaki! You have returned?” Bugenhagen questioned in surprise. He greeted the fire-wolf with vigor, giving him a grandfatherly pat on the head.
“We are here on business,” Nanaki responded, tail literally wagging with joy. “We require information.
“Oh, really?” the sage queried. His eyes traveled over those present, noting that a few were missing and a few were gained since he had last seen the friends. “It seems that the group has changed in many ways.”
The ninja stepped up to the sage, offering a small bow and surprising most of her friends. However, her polite action belied her statement.
“Mr. Bugenhagen, sir, we need to find Cloud,” Yuffie blurted out, bordering on the verge of disrespect. From beside her, Nanaki nodded solemnly.
The elderly man's eyebrow rose in question. He gestured towards the sitting room, inviting them all to relax.
“Oh? And how can I help with that?” he questioned once they were all seated.
“He fell into the Lifestream,” Cid began slowly.
“And he is just as strong as Sephiroth,” Barret continued.
“So we figured he should have survived it,” Reeve finished respectfully.
Nanaki added from his place beside the ninja, “However, he was not at the crater, where we last saw him.” He paused, reconsidering. “Or truthfully, we couldn't really get close enough to properly check.
Bugenhagen looked at them thoughtfully, hand rubbing his chin through the long white beard. “It is possible that he could be found at an area where mako pools reside,” he mused, almost to himself.
Yuffie looked at them quizzically. “Mako pools?”
Nanaki nodded. “Like I explained before, areas where the Lifestream gushes up,” he clarified gently, flicking his tail and nuzzling her hand.
The old sage watched the exchange with interest. “Yes, there are very few of them in Gaia though. One in the Ancient's City, one on the Southern Island, one on the Lost Grounds, and then of course, I suppose the one at the crater now.”
Barret harrumphed. “I've never heard of no Lost Grounds,” he grumbled, clearly not impressed with the elderly man's words.
Bugenhagen dipped his head, though his eyes shone with amusement. ”My apologies. That is the old name for Barrier Island.”
Bugenhagen dipped his head, though his eyes shone with amusement. ”My apologies. That is the old name for Barrier Island.”
“We checked the crater and the city,” Cid mused, puffing on a much-needed cigarette.
Reeve nodded, adding in his two gil. “That only leaves the Southern Island and Barrier Island. We should go south first; it is the most likely candidate.”
“Works for me.” Cid shrugged. With luck they would find the spiky-headed man and his reign as leader would be over. If so, he would have to celebrate and maybe he could convince Vince to be friends with benefits. Yup, sounded like a plan.
“Thanks for the help, I guess.”
The elderly man smiled. “The heroes of Gaia will get all the help they need from me.” He lightly patted Nanaki on the head, running his hands over the fire-lion's fur and scratching him behind the ears, but his gnarled fingers touched something hard and smooth. “Eh? What is this?”
“Oh!” Nanaki exclaimed. “I nearly forgot. I found that in the Temple of the Ancients. I thought you might like it.”
Bugenhagen murmured thoughtfully as he pulled the chain from around Nanaki's neck and examined it. “Seems very old,” he mused aloud.
“Do you know what the symbol is?” Yuffie questioned curiously. Ever since she had first laid eyes on the rusted necklace, she had been fascinated by it. The chain stirred something inside of her, almost like she had seen it before.
The elderly man nodded, somewhat distracted by his rumination. “It is a flamel [2],” Bugenhagen commented. “I haven't seen this in ages… even then only in ancient manuscripts. I'm sure that the chain rightfully belongs to Nanaki and only he can unlock its secrets.”
Golden eyes widened with confusion. “Secrets?”
Bugenhagen nodded as he slipped the chain back around the lion-wolf's neck once more. For some reason, Nanaki did not mind, finding the weight of it comforting. It almost felt as if he had always worn the flamel.
“It has something to do with your tribe, but I will need to do more research on it before I can say for certain.”
“Great,” Cid growled, interrupting their small conversation. “Now, that all that is taken care of, can we go to the Southern Island?”
The group exchanged looks, before shrugging their shoulders in mute decision.
* * *
[1] Direct Reference to Advent Children
[2] A flamel is the symbol for alchemy, borrowed from Fullmetal Alchemist.