Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Shattered Ice Redux ❯ All of Me ( Chapter 28 )

Chapter 28: All of Me

Cid snarled, frantically trying to calm the convulsing and flailing gunman. “Hold him down, dammit!!” He narrowly avoided a thrashing limb.

“Fuck off!” Cloud growled in return as he fought to grab a hold of Vincent’s legs. “He’s stronger than me, you know.”

“C’mon, Vince! Pull out of this, dammit!” the pilot exclaimed with exasperation. The gunman couldn’t hear him however. His crimson eyes were locked shut as he tried to fight off his lover, emitting screams of terror and anguish that echoed all too painfully inside of Cid’s own heart.

Cid gritted his teeth and planted himself down on Vincent’s chest, hoping his weight would be enough to stop the bucking gunman from thrashing about on the ground. He was going to hurt himself.

“Who’s got the damn Seal materia?” Cloud demanded loudly.

Barret shook his head, his eyes wide with both fear and anger. “Tried that already,” he hollered. “Didn’t work on the damned freak!”

“No! Un-uh. Stop!!” the ex-Turk screamed, moaning terribly low. However, it wasn’t the type of moan Cid was used to hearing, filled with terror instead of passion.

Yuffie winced, throwing her hands up over her ears as she closed her eyes tightly to block out the sight. “Make him stop,” she whimpered.

The ninja was used to fighting demons and monsters, killing soulless creatures on the battlefield. She feared nothing, but for all’s sake, she was sixteen!! And to see such a usually stoic and calm person, writhing about on the floor, screaming in piercing agony was too much for her to bear. She could tell that Vincent was hurting and there wasn’t anything that she could do. Her body began to shake uncontrollably as she tried to block out the horrifying sights and sounds before her.

“Nanaki, get her the fuck out of here!” Cloud ordered as he ground his teeth together, trying to contain the greater strength of the gunman before he hurt himself or someone else. The blond’s face paled when he noticed the rippling of Vincent’s skin and the tell tale black shadows ghosting under the surface.

The demi-human noticed as well and quickly grabbed the teenage ninja before she could notice as well, taking her somewhere away from the cargo bay of the Highwind. He really didn’t want to be there either, knowing that there was nothing he could do. He would leave it up to the older members of the group and do well in his duties to take care of Yuffie. She clung to him like a lifeline as he led her from the cargo bay. She was afraid for Vincent, afraid of what they might have to do to help him.

“He’s going to change,” Reeve breathed, horrified as he looked on helplessly. He was at a loss at what to do or how to help. Truthfully, he couldn’t even begin to comprehend what was going on. He just knew that he had to help his normally stoic friend.

The Captain’s eyes narrowed. “Not if I can help it,” he growled, narrowly avoiding getting slapped in the face by a flailing arm. “Somebody grab his arms.” His heart thudded loudly in his chest as crimson eyes fluttered, pupils unnaturally large.

Reeve and Barret immediately came forward and each took hold of one of the gunman’s arms. It took their combined efforts as Vincent shrieked and tried to pull out of their grasp. It seemed he could no longer recognize friend from foe, or even reality from whatever terribly nightmare he was trapped in.

“What about Stop?” Reeve suggested haggardly, his face red from exertion. “Where is the Time materia?”

Cloud’s face fell as he berated himself. “Nanaki’s got it! Fuck!”

“It wouldn’t have worked anyways, not if Sleep didn’t,” Cid ground out.

There was a flash of green light, indicating that someone had just used their materia. This only caused Vincent to scream louder as if someone had just shocked him with millions of bolts of electricity. His back arched and he very nearly succeeded in throwing the pilot off of him. Whatever Hojo had done to him truly made him stronger than any human. Perhaps even the mako-altered Cloud.

“What the hell are you doing?” Cid demanded, casting a furious glare at Barret who was hurriedly stuffing his materia back into his pocket.

“I tried DeSpell.”

Sky blue eyes flashed. “Why in the hell would that work, dumbass?” Cid snarled. “You fuckin’ made him worse!”

Indeed, the ex-Turk was now thrashing to get free from the three. He fought back blindly, lashing out with fists and feet as eyelids fluttered over unseeing crimson eyes.

“I thought Yuffie had Destruct,” the ex-executive murmured uselessly under his breath. He was truly at a loss for ideas.

“Yeah, cuz the brat stole it from me!!” the gun-armed man shot back.

“Shut up!” Cloud yelled, shooting them both irritated glares. If it weren’t for his hands locked onto Vincent, he would have torn his hair out from sheer frustration alone. “You are not helping!!”

Cid looked down at his lover, heart breaking at the tears that streaked down the gunman’s pale face. There was something irrevocably wrong in seeing Vincent’s face naked like that, all of his secrets and his sorrows plain for everyone to see. And a part of him was jealous as well. That all the trouble he had put forth to worm his way closer to Vincent was almost for naught, now that everyone else could see him revealed.

It was in that moment that the pilot realized that he had lost his heart to the dark-haired ex-Turk. Every part of him strained to find something to simply fix his lover, to ease the naked terror and pain that stretched across Vincent’s face, evident in his taut muscles and desire to simply escape. It hurt Cid to see him in so much pain and he realized, there was no turning back now. There was no giving up.

Cid searched his mind desperately for something to do but he was lost. He didn’t know what was going on; he didn’t understand. The gunman had just collapsed and out of nowhere started going fucking nuts.

“You have to stop the change or he’ll be lost forever,” the old sage intoned. He had been mostly quiet, observing the events with an impassive gaze as if he knew something that the others did not.

“I know, dammit!!” the Captain cursed. Yet, truly, he didn’t know. The pilot had not a clue. For once in his life, Cid felt completely lost.

Bugenhagen looked at the man sadly, before bowing slightly and taking his leave of the Cargo Bay. It was much safer out on the deck.

Cid looked down at his flailing lover helplessly, wishing that he knew what he could do. It was then that the memory hit him.

Lying wrapped in his arms was one sexually satisfied gunman, for once. It was funny that after they reconciled, Vincent could hardly get enough of his pilot, usually tiring the poor blond out. However, lying together in the warm and cozy post-coital after glow was enough to satisfy the gunman for the moment.

“You know, Vince,” Cid began as he reached for his post-orgasm nicotine rush. The other man glared, and the pilot sighed. No cigarette for him then. “If someone were to tell my past self that one day I’d be fucking an ex-Turk on my own airship in the Captain’s quarters… well… I might’ve told them to give me whatever shit it was they were smoking.”
The dark-haired man cocked an eyebrow at Cid, a slightly amused expression on his face. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, it is.” The pilot nodded. His fingers itched to hold a cigarette but the last time he tried to smoke Vincent punished him. Then again, punishment didn’t sound so bad. He started to weigh the options in his mind...

“You are a crazy fool.” The ex-Turk sighed as he laid his head back down on the pilot’s chest.

“Yeah, you are probably right.” The Captain laughed in agreement, still internally debating. Was he too tired? Could he handle another round?

“Cid?”

“Hm?”

R 20;Why don’t you fear me?”

The pilot blinked, completely confused. “Huh?” That had come out of nowhere.

“Even from the beginning, you had no fear of me. Yet, you know what I am, what I am capable of--”

Cid cut him off quickly. “No, I know who you are Vincent, not what,” he corrected. “Don’t confuse the two.”

Vincent sat up enough to look his lover in the eye, some of his loose raven tresses moving in front of his face. Cid couldn’t help but think how gorgeous his gunman was as he reached to rub an ebony strand between his calloused fingers.

“You are not afraid that I might turn on you? That one of these times I might lose control and turn into a monster?” His eyes searched Cid’s face as if trying to peer inside the pilot’s mind.

“Nah,” the Captain exclaimed, smiling broadly. “I know just what I’d do!”

The gunman cast a skeptical look, half-afraid to ask. “What?”

Cid grinned and snuck a hand behind Vincent’s head, pulling the gunman down for a deep kiss. The pilot slipped his tongue inside the ex-Turk’s mouth, tasting himself from their earlier actions on Vincent’s tongue. It was strangely erotic. Vincent moaned into his mouth and tried to open up even more, to encourage the pilot, but the blond pulled back and grinned again, looking the gunman in the eye.

“I’d do just that! Nothing can withstand the Highwind charm!!”

“Hopeless,” the dark-haired man muttered, shaking his head.

“Is that so?” Cid teased as he reached and trailed his fingers lightly over Vincent’s skin. The ex-Turk moaned and bit his bottom lip, a move that was decidedly sexy and more than enough to turn the pilot on. For being such a quiet and closed, man the gunman was extremely sensual.

“You’re making me hungry,” Vincent warned.

Cid smirked as he reached up and pulled the gunman into another deep kiss. “That was the general idea.”

“Cid! Dammit!” the leader growled, pulling the other blond out of his reverie. “Do something!” he snarled.

“Why the hell are you lookin’ at me?” Cid demanded, slashing a hand through the air.

To his left, Reeve gasped, drawing all of their attention. “Shiva’s Ice!” he moaned, amber eyes wide with desperation. “It’s too late!”

The blond pilot glanced around. He could feel Vincent’s body writhing beneath him and he saw the claws beginning to lengthen on the gunman’s right hand and the fangs beginning to appear in his screaming mouth. Galian Beast was fighting his way out, either him or something much worse.

I’d do just that! Nothing can withstand the Highwind Charm! His own words echoed in his head.

Cloud struggled to hold down Vincent’s legs with one arm as he reached for his sword with the other. He didn’t want too, by Ifrit he didn’t want to kill his friend, or at least something close to it. Yet, he would do what was necessary.

Vincent screamed, deep and throaty, one of pain that sent chills down the spines of each man present.

And Cid had no other ideas. His mind was blank, so the Captain did the only thing he thought he could do.

“I’m sorry, Vince…” he whispered. Leaning forward, he grabbed the gunman’s tossing head between his hands and kissed him, in front of everyone, he locked lips with his lover.

The shock of that action didn’t last long as a sudden burst of power rocked through the room, strong enough to throw all four men out and away from the gunman. A bright glow filled the area along with the sense of a strong presence.

Reeve and Barret hit opposite walls of the room, sliding to the ground like sacks of potatoes. Cloud was pushed across the floor on his stomach, cheek scraping on something hard as his head slammed into the metal ground.

The pilot was skidded backwards with enough force that he crashed his head into the wall behind him, cracking his skull hard enough to see stars. He felt a weight settle on his stomach as he struggled to clear his dizzy vision.

--You will regret the day you fought against me!-- The voice, low and menacing resonated in his mind and the pilot swore that he could smell sulfur and feel hot breath on his cheek.

“I’m not scared of you,” Cid growled, grunting with the pain as he attempted to push away the weight.

--That is a mistake you will soon wish you had never made!--

The pilot opened his mouth to respond, believing that he could feel a pair of blooded hate-filled eyes boring into his skull. However, before the words could escape, the pressure on his chest dissipated and the immense power that had filled the room vanished leaving it cold, empty and dark.

For a moment all was still, nothing and nobody moved. Slowly, the lights began to blink on one by one, bathing the cargo bay in a wash of fluorescent light. There was a low groan, and Cloud slowly pushed himself to his feet, holding his aching head. He turned to gaze over the rest of the bay area. Reeve and Barret were gingerly beginning to rise as Cid slowly crawled back across the floor to where his lover lay in a crumpled heap.

“What the hell happened?” Cloud demanded angrily through the pounding in his skull. He made his way across the floor to the gunman.

“I pissed off a demon,” the Captain answered wearily. “Apparently he wanted to come out and play.” He made his way to Vincent’s side and looked over his lover. The gunman was unsurprisingly unconscious and there was a slight reddish tint to his pale complexion.

The pilot wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

“That is not what I meant!” the leader retorted.

Cid’s eyes narrowed as he flung out an arm at the younger man, shoving him away for some distance. “Well, I don’t have the answers!” he snapped, returning his attention to his lover. The ex-Turk’s face was eeriely calm, and he appeared to be breathing evenly.

“That’s fucking it!” Barret suddenly exclaimed, clambering to his feet and storming towards them. “That monster has to go before it kills us all!!” He pointed to Vincent viciously, glaring at their leader.

Cid tried to ignore the narrow-minded idiot’s outburst, his sole concern the unconscious ex-Turk in front of him while Cloud attempted to calm the fuming AVALANCHE leader down. “We don’t know what’s going on, Barret. We can’t afford to make snap judgments!”

Barret snorted, one hand on his gun arm as if ready to fire at any instant. “We can’t fucking afford to die the next time vampy goes a little crazy either!”

The Captain brushed a finger lightly over the gunman’s cheek, wincing over how cold his skin felt.

“Is he going to be alright?” Reeve’s soft voice suddenly appeared at Cid’s right shoulder.

The pilot didn’t bother to look. “I don’t know,” he answered, shaking his head.

“You kissed him…” Reeve trailed off, stating the obvious as he looked around to see that indeed Cloud and Barret had seen as well. He smiled softly then, a knowing look in his eyes. He moved to help support the ex-Turk.

Cid didn’t answer, instead turning his attention back towards his lover. “Vin? C’mon baby, wake up.” He trailed his fingers through ebony strands, feeling something in his chest constrict. “C’mon, baby...”

“It makes more sense for him to be where we can watch him! You want that power running free?”

“It won’t %$�@ matter, if we’re dead!”

Cid growled. “Will you two shut the fuck up!!” he yelled angrily, looking up from Vincent for only a moment. His hands unconsciously tightened on the gunman’s body.

Immediately, Cloud and Barret ceased their arguing and looked at Cid with surprise. The pilot simply ignored their startled expressions, returning his attentions to his unaware lover who chose that moment to begin to awaken.

Vincent groaned slightly and shifted his head. Crimson eyes fluttered open, glancing around unfocused, as he struggled to sit up.

His eyes instantly settled on the blond at his side. “H… Highwind?” There was a questioning tone to the gunman’s voice.

“Vince!” Cid exclaimed. “You’re alive!” Instant relief flooded through him and he sagged against the floor, his heart finally choosing a more normal rhythm inside his chest.

“I feel dead,” the ex-Turk groaned, putting a hand to his head.

“What the hell happened?” Cloud demanded, trying to gain back control.

“I don’t know,” Vincent snapped angrily, eyes flashing as he tried to get to his feet. Reeve and Cid gave him a hand. “When do I ever know?”

“See!” the gun-armed man demanded angrily. He pointed a meaty finger at the former Turk. “He’s too dangerous to keep around here!”

Cloud man sighed, but it was Cid who responded.

“You can fucking think about leaving him somewhere all you want. But then you can find your own transportation because this is my damned airship and I won’t leave him behind!” Cid snapped angrily as he supported his quickly weakening lover on one of his shoulders.

Cloud and the pilot glared at each other as the sound of approaching footsteps alerted them to the return of Yuffie and Nanaki.

Their leader sighed again, shooting a warning glance over at Barret. “He can stay.”

“Don’t do me any favors, Strife!” Vincent intoned, glaring. “It wasn’t your decision to make.” With that said, Cid and the ex-Turk left the cargo bay, leaving their confused companions behind.

Barret scowled, turning towards their blond leader. “You might be fuckin’ ex-SOLDIER,” he growled, striding up to poke a finger in the leader’s face. “But I don’t think you can control that.”

“For now, that is not the issue,” the blond said coolly, batting away the protruding bulbous finger.

Brown eyes narrowed. “If it ain’t, then I dunno what is,” he emphasized.

Reeve and Cloud exchanged glances but did not enlighten the man on the circumstances. If he couldn’t figure it out on his own, well, perhaps that was for the better. As it were, the ex-executive knew he had much to think about. He shook his head at Barret’s stubbornness and quickly exited the Cargo bay, passing by both Yuffie and Nanaki no his way out.

He patted the ninja companionably on the shoulder as he left, and Yuffie breathed a sigh of relief that no blood had been shed though her face was still pale. She turned to leave the room without a word, wisely deciding to stay out of the way of Cloud and Barret’s conversation. Nanaki followed after her, the two of them not wanting to hear whatever the others had to say.

Besides, Yuffie was more interested in finding the two love birds and seeing what else she could uncover. She exchanged glances with the red-haired man beside her, who had a somewhat sneaky grin on his face.

Once everyone had gone, leaving he and Barret alone, Cloud finally released the breath he had been holding and raked a hand through spiked hair. Barret tossed him a wary look, crossing his arms over his chest as he expected his leader to begin explanations. And now.

“Do you really expect me to shove you towards a window and open the curtains?” Cloud finally began after a moment of silence.

Barret raised one brow, uncertain as to what Cloud was trying to say. “... the fuck?”

Cloud sighed again. “Look, Vincent’s not going to hurt us. But what is going to destroy this whole planet is the huge fucking rock just hanging up in the sky.”

“I know that,” Barret stated testily, a snort escaping his mouth. “But we ain’t even gonna get to Sephiroth if vampy goes apeshit and blows us all to pieces.”

The blond shot the older man a baleful stare. “You know, when I attacked Aeris, you still claimed friendship with me.”

Barret harrumphed, shifting his gaze to the side. “That’s different,” he muttered before narrowing brown eyes on the younger man. “Why’re you standing up for him anyways?”

“I’m not, I’m just pointing out a fact,” Cloud insisted as he turned on his heels, rubbing furiously at his brow once more. “I can’t help but wonder what you’re really thinking about me when Vincent and I are so much alike, that’s all,” he added as a parting comment, heading towards the door. “Think about it.”

* * *

Cid helped Vincent over to the bed, and the gunman lay down upon it gratefully. He had returned them to his room, since it was both bigger and had a private bathroom, not that Vincent seemed to mind too terribly. The pilot sat down on the bed next to his splayed out lover and noted with concern the look of utter fatigue on the gunman’s face.

He waited several heartbeats before the question poured out of him. He wouldn’t be satisfied until he knew something. “What’s going on, Vince?” the Captain asked softly.

“I don’t--”

The blond scowled. “Bullshit! I can see through you now.”

The gunman sighed. “What do you care anyways? It’s not like I am anything to you.” He closed his eyes wearily, sinking deeper into the plushness of the bed.

Cid’s face flushed with anger. His voice came out low, as if he was struggling to contain his emotions. “I don’t know about you, Vince, but we stopped being ‘fuck buddies’ a long time ago.”

Crimson eyes snapped open at his words, locking gaze with the pilot who somehow managed an even stare. He was captivated by that look, captivated by the pain swimming in the other man’s eyes and every part of him reached out to soothe it away.

When, Cid couldn’t help but wonder, when had it started hurting for him to think of their relationship as being something as empty as mere fuck buddies? When had Vincent’s pain become his own? When had he started needing the other man with an intensity that seemed to take away his breath?

Realization struck him with the force of a bullet. Nearly causing him to fall over in shock. It had started hurting when he started loving the irascible gunman. Though when exactly, his heart had been given away, he couldn’t be certain.

“In fact,” Cid continued slowly as if searching for the proper words, wanting to express his newfound revelation but knowing he treaded on delicate ground. “I think I have always known it would be more. I believe that I might have feelings for you.” Cid shook his head as the gunman looked at him, an unreadable expression on his face. “I’m certain of it. I lo--”

“Don’t you say it!” Vincent snapped, interrupting Cid’s confession. He sliced a hand through the air, instantly jerking into a sitting position. “Don’t you fucking say it, Highwind! You cannot possibly think that I would allow you to debase yourself by saying such things to me!”

Cid’s hands clenched into fists at his side. “Where the hell do you get off telling me what I can say and feel?” the Captain demanded angrily. “Especially since I just fuckin’ saved your life back there!”

“What kind of life did you save?” Vincent snarled in return. “I am nothing more than a monster! I don’t even think I can die, Highwind!”

The pilot’s hands came up and before he could stop himself, he shoved Vincent back, anger filling his heart at every hateful word that poured from the gunman’s mouth. Still weak, Vincent fell back against the bed, but his eyes burned with his own self-loathing and he stared with an unflinching, cold emotion.

“Don’t you go on with that self-pity shit again!” Cid growled, hands clenching at his side. “Why don’t you try explaining things for once instead of just running away like a fuckin’ coward!!”

“I am not a coward!” the ex-Turk snapped. “Besides, you would never understand. How could you? I don’t even understand!” He practically yelled the last, surprised by the emotion that this man could evoke in him.

Cid’s fist slammed into the mattress. “Prove it then,” he ordered, sky blue eyes afire with determination. “Tell me everything that you fear about yourself and why I’ll never understand.”

Silence fell between them as the clock on the wall ticked annoying loud. Vincent’s entire body was rigid as he stared at his lover, noting the flush of anger across Cid’s face and the determined set to his jaw. There was no turning back, Cid wouldn’t be deterred this time. And the pilot was right. He had saved Vincent’s life, pathetic and worthless though it may be.

He deserved to know why Chaos had almost killed him.

Vincent sighed, his anger slowly deflating. “Fine. I will tell you,” he acquiesced slowly.

Anger gradually departed from the pilot’s body, now that he was finally getting the answers he wanted. “About damn time,” Cid muttered as he flopped down onto the bed into a more comfortable position. “Now talk.”

Ashamed, the gunman turned on his back. “I can’t look you in the eyes if you must know the truth,” he explained when Cid made a noise of protest. He cleared his throat. “I know I told you that I don’t remember much. It is true.”

“Okay,” Cid agreed. “Now what else. Why did you go apeshit?”

Vincent sighed. “I don’t know what Hojo did to me, or maybe it was even the thirty-year sleep. I can’t be sure. Either way, my memory was fuzzy blocks of time that is... until I found Lucrecia once more...”

* * *

Thanks for reading and apologies for the delay. I was without internet for a week... a very long week. Reviews are welcome and appreciated!