Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Shattered Traditions ❯ Falling From the Stars ( Chapter 5 )

Shattered Traditions: Chapter Five

Falling From the Stars

 

“What?”

 

He swore he felt his jaw hit the floor as Nanaki jerked to his feet, nearly tangling his legs up in the chair behind him. The phone lost its bid for dominance on the desk when he bumped his knees on the underside and slid to the floor, causing him to dive without grace, managing to hook his fingers on the end of it before it crashed to the ground. This was all done without second thought as he tried to wrap his mind on the words coming through the receiver.

 

On the other end of the line, Archer sighed, feeling an incredible headache coming on as he rubbed at his temples. “It's not confirmed,” he repeated for the demi-human's benefit. “But the Wutaiians seem hopeful.”

 

Nanaki didn't want to believe it. Yuffie was getting married? How was that possible? It had only been a month since he had last seen her, at the birth of the babies. How could she have met someone in that short of time? Stunned didn't even begin to describe the range of emotions coursing through him.

 

He blinked, his fingers curling around the phone in his hold. “Who is it?”

 

“Like I said, it's probably just a rumor,” Archer responded patiently and more than a hint of understanding. “The last I heard she was only accepting suitors.”

 

Which was bad enough on its own, at least to Nanaki. It was as if it were the final line that things were well and truly over. If they were ever 'under' to begin with.

 

The demi-human sagged, blindly relocating his chair and flopping down into it. “I can't believe it,” he commented, more to himself than to Archer.

 

For the briefest of moments, he regretted even coming back to Cosmo Canyon, even if it was to be temporary. The amount of messages on his phone was building up and with the poor reception in the mountains, he had decided to make a short trip to Cosmo Canyon. After settling a few queries from the council, he had locked himself in the house to answer the eight messages awaiting him.

 

It was pure chance that Archer was the first he called back and it was only to deliver this unfortunate information. Nanaki felt he had only himself to blame.

 

“It's not too late, you know,” Archer said, his voice coming through sympathetic. “If you just talked to her--”

 

“I don't think it's that simple,” the demi-human interrupted, rubbing a finger over his brow. He closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the chair. “Thanks for the information, Archer. I appreciate it.”

 

There was a moment of silence as the engineer contemplated saying something further before he sighed into the phone. “You're welcome. Talk to you later.”

 

The phone went dead with a quiet click and Nanaki absentmindedly replaced the receiver on the cradle, frowning deeply.

 

Married.

 

Yuffie was getting married.

 

Archer claimed it was just rumor, but even if that were true, there had to be some basis. Rumors weren't started from thin air. Had she started dating? Met someone new? He didn't know. He hadn't talked to her, which was a problem in unto itself. After the babies had been born, she had returned to Wutai and he to his clan without another word between them.

 

Why hadn't he said anything then? She was still hurting, it was plainly evident. He had wanted to say something, but the words had stalled on his tongue, feeling thick and heavy. That same confusion from before had swirled over him again. Like, what if what was happening between them was proof that it wasn't meant to be?

 

But if that were true, then why did it hurt so much that she wasn't there?

 

Two months had gone by since Yuffie had learned of the death of her father. He wanted to believe that his first mistake could be traced to not offering to support her, but perhaps it had started sooner. Had he been that blind to her unease? Or was he just pretending he couldn't see it because he didn't know how to handle it?

 

The demi-human couldn't deny that he missed her, everything about her. She had been a constant presence in his life from the moment they had met and now it felt as if a part of himself had been lost. It had occurred so quickly, their sudden departure from one another. He had let it happen without a single protest or question, just observing from the side as if it had nothing to do with him.

 

Nanaki let out a sigh of frustration and sagged further in his chair, fingers rubbing firmly over the aching in his forehead. It wasn't so much that he was stressed but that he found himself thinking in endless circles. He was such an idiot. For all his proclaimed intelligence, he was nothing more than a fool.

 

A wave of fatigue swept over him as he slumped, reminding him that he'd slept fitfully for the past week or so. He blamed that entirely on his dreams, or to be more accurate, vivid memories of a past that didn't belong to him. It had to have something to do with the amulet, though he couldn't be certain. Akili had never heard of it being able to share memories among wearers.

 

He kept dreaming of Kairi and Tolkan, catching glimpses of their past and their relationship, mostly from Kairi's eyes. Which made sense, considering it was her pendant around his neck. And it didn't matter if he slept wearing it or if it was in an entirely different room, the dreams came whether he wanted them or not. It made him wonder if there were other forces at work, godly forces perhaps. Or maybe the amulet was trying to tell him something, though it was slow and vague in delivering its message.

 

He caught glimpses of their life, grainy like the reels of old films his grandfather had shown him, in black and white with ripples through the smiles. Every moment was captured in shades of grey, every tear and every kiss. The pause in time when they first met, confidence and arrogance colliding. He felt the beginning of Kairi's tentative emotions, when she began to see something in lupine, golden eyes beyond what her heart could understand.

 

Nanaki relived every significant moment in their life, every instance when time might have stopped. The beginning of the war, the end of the war, the ceremony and the troubles they faced together. It hadn't been easy for them. When compared to the confusion he was facing, he could only feel a bit like an immature cub. He and Yuffie took their freedom for granted.

 

One golden eye cracked open, staring at the phone sitting on his desk, the cell phone flipped open beside it and displaying his contacts on a slightly darkened screen. He knew that with just a few clicks, he would see Yuffie's number, not that he didn't know it by heart already. He missed her.

 

He had tried reconnecting with his clan. While he had managed to form friendships, even taking on Akili as some sort of mentor, he couldn't seem to build a permanent relationship. There was an even bigger rift between he and they then there ever was between he and Yuffie. He couldn't see on their level, couldn't see through their eyes. There was too much he didn't understand, and to their understanding, he was still little more than a child. An unlearned cub who knew nothing of their hardships and therefore, could not comprehend the strength of their convictions.

 

It was nothing like the bond he felt with Yuffie. While they'd had their differences, they were similar in their loneliness. She had lost someone important to her, just as he had. She was the cheer to his analytic pessimism. He was the rationale to her reckless crusade for adventure. It hadn't been more apparent to him until recently, just how well-matched they were.

 

Nor could Nanaki forget how she felt in his arms. The warmth of her skin, the light citrus flavor of her lips. The sounds she made when he brushed his fingers over her skin. It had been desperate that last night, something hungry and wanting. He had been lost to the need, the scent of her, with his blood burning from excitement. And she had been willing, all too hot in his arms.

 

All he could think then was how much he wanted her, how right it felt to be kissing her. He had almost forgotten, in the heat of the moment, where they were and all the strange emotions that had suddenly cropped up. All he could concentrate on was the next kiss, the next tentative brush of his hand over her body.

 

The demi-human chewed on his bottom lip, stealing another glance at his phone, knowing that he should call Yuffie. It wouldn't hurt to phone just once, would it? She would probably be glad for the reprieve from paperwork, knowing her.

 

His finger pushed the button before he allowed himself to ponder any further. If he did, he knew he would have talked himself out of it before long. He wanted to talk to Yuffie.

 

The phone rang twice as he drummed his fingers on the desktop, feeling his heart beat heavier and heavier in his chest. He didn't know why it felt as if he were about to suddenly step into battle, that same anticipatory fear.

 

It halted mid-ring and after the distinct noise of someone fumbling around, Yuffie's voice came through the receiver. “Nanaki?” she questioned, sounding surprised. He knew she likely recognized his ringtone.

 

“Hey Yufs,” the demi-human greeted, attempting cheeriness and normality. But his usual nickname for Yuffie felt like a stranger on his tongue, it had been so long since he spoke to her. “I was wondering how you've been doing.”

 

“Fine,” the ninja answered as he heard the sound of papers rustling. “Just pretending to go through paperwork. It makes the old men think I'm doing something even though I'm really not.”

 

He chuckled lightly, trying to dispel the aura of awkwardness enveloping the conversation. It wasn't coming as easy as it used to. “That sounds like you,” he commented. “It's pretty boring then?”

 

“Like you wouldn't believe,” she huffed with an exaggerated sigh. “What I wouldn't give to go materia hunting right now.”

 

Hearing her voice did nothing to ease how much he missed her. Nanaki couldn't help but wonder when he had become this melancholic wreck. Or why he didn't just say something end it, or make it worse, either would probably be better than hinging in the middle. But something kept him silent. An unnameable uncertainty.

 

A moment of uncomfortable silence grew between them as the demi-human struggled for words to say. His mind cried with plenty of questions. Who are you marrying? He wanted to ask. Was your heart captured away that quickly?

 

And then there was the even more painful, Why couldn't it have been me? He hadn't even realized he had wanted it for himself until that query skirted across the edges of his mind. Perhaps it was something he had always desired in a hidden corner of his heart. The thought of Yuffie being with someone else just felt... wrong.

 

She was the one to break the uneasy quiet. “How is everyone?” Yuffie asked, the question slightly tentative. She, too, sounded as if she were grasping for words. It made him feel only slightly better.

 

Nanaku furrowed his brow. “Everyone?”

 

“Yeah. All of your clan, the rebuilding in Cosmo Canyon, and... Lesana,” she clarified slowly, hesitating on the last before it passed her lips.

 

He wondered why she made sure to mention the female Iyatokan. “The rebuilding is on schedule, the novelty of my appearance has worn off with my clan so they have finally returned to normal and Lesana is fine.”

 

“That's good. Things are under control here as well.” A light chuckle echoed through the receiver, but it didn't sound as if it were full of humor. “Illeana's even managed to sneak me out a time or two. It's great practice for her sub par ninja skills, or so she claims.”

 

Nanaki wanted to ask her who she was marrying. To know his name and his face. If he was even good enough for her. Was he any good at fighting? Did he know how to make her laugh? Had he seen just how bold she could be?

 

The amount of jealousy striking him from all directions was surprising even to himself. Had he wanted it that badly, for him to be in the position of that Wutaiian stranger, taking Yuffie's hand? Why hadn't he ever considered it before?

 

And why was it so difficult to speak to her now when the words used to flow so easily? Their camaraderie had always been so open and frank. Now, it was stilted and barely present, a stranger's discomfort. Perhaps he was stepping too much around what he really wanted to say. He wanted to tell her that her absence was painful. He thought that maybe there was something he should apologize for. But then he wondered if it was far too late anyways. Maybe all this was just proof that it never would have worked.

 

Was it better for all of them this way? She in Wutai, taking on her father's role and the responsibility that had always been waiting for her. He in Cosmo Canyon, with his clan, back with those who were supposed to understand him. They were from different worlds, after all, different traditions and different walks of life.

 

The truth stung painfully. Maybe he was just too much of a coward.

 

Nanaki swallowed thickly at that sudden, inner revelation. “Good,” he said, knowing a strange amount of time had passed since he should have responded. “Even though you're an important Lady of Wutai now, you should still have fun.”

 

“Important Lady, huh?” she replied, repeating his words in a strange tone that he couldn't identify. “I suppose that's true. Though I refuse to be traditional. It drives the old geezers crazy.”

 

“I can imagine.”

 

She sighed on the other end, but accompanied with the noise of more papers rustling, he assumed it was a sigh of boredom. “What about you? Have you decided about staying there or not?”

 

“Not yet,” Nanaki admitted. “There's still a lot of work to be done in Cosmo Canyon and I--” Miss you, he wanted to say. But he didn't. “-- I might want to be around for other things,” he finished lamely.

 

He knew better than to ask if she planned on staying in Wutai. It wasn't really a matter of 'want' for her anymore. It was a matter of necessity. It would be too selfish of him, wouldn't it, to ask her to be with him? She had responsibilities now. Things were different.

 

“That makes sense.” She sounded so understanding, so logical that it hurt. He wasn't used to Yuffie being like this, responsible and mellow. He missed the mischief. “I - hold on a second.” She suddenly broke off without waiting for a response, leaving him hanging on to whatever she was going to say.

 

He heard muffled thumps, likely her trying to cover the receiver, and even more muted voices. He couldn't make out any of the conversation however. The wait was brief and she quickly returned.

 

“Gotta go,” Yuffie said, her tone a bit terse as if she had been arguing with whoever had interrupted her. “They found out I wasn't actually doing anything. Thanks for calling, Nanaki.”

 

She said that as if he were doing her a favor.

 

Nanaki fidgeted, his fingers tapping on the desk in what was quickly becoming a nervous habit. “I wanted to,” he assured her quietly. “Bye Yuffie.”

 

“Bye 'Aki.”

 

The phone went dead with a silent click, her nickname for him reverberating in his ear. Nanaki dropped his hand, letting the cell remain pressed loosely between his fingers. She hadn't been happy, but she hadn't been sad. More resigned than anything else. But he couldn't tell if she missed him. And he'd been too scared to say it himself.

 

He was such a coward.

 

*****

 

Nanaki tried not to dwell on anything for the next week. He pushed the conversation with both Archer and Yuffie to the back of his mind and concentrated on the meeting with the builders and the council regarding Cosmo Canyon. He made suggestions and listened to proposals, drafting up an official request to the WRO for more funding. He knew Reeve would grant it, but it was always better to have something official. The investors liked to see it if nothing else. Proof that their money was being used efficiently and with good intent.

 

He made plans to return to the Iyatokans the next day after spending a week in Cosmo Canyon, settling everything that had piled on his absence. He avoided the children constantly following him, wondering when Yuffie was going to come back. He didn't have any answers for them because that would mean he needed to find the answers for himself.

 

He was packing up the rest of his stuff from his short stay when someone knocked on his front door. He glanced at the clock, surprised to find that it was late evening. He highly doubted that any of the council had come to see him. Curious, Nanaki abandoned his packing and made his way to the front door.

 

The person on the other side knocked again before he arrived. The demi-human peered through the small window, surprised to find that Tseng was standing outside. Blinking in confusion, he reached for the knob.

 

“Tseng?” Nanaki questioned, his voice full of surprise as he swung the door open, eyes landing on the Wutaiian who stood just a bit awkwardly on his front stoop.

 

The Turk nodded. “Evening. You don't mind if I come in, do you?”

 

“Of course not,” Nanaki replied, pushing the door open all the way and stepping aside so that Tseng could enter. “I'm just surprised to see you here.”

 

“Call it curiosity,” Tseng briefly explained, walking into the home.

 

The demi-human frowned in confusion, closing the door behind the man and gesturing with his other hand towards the living room to the left. “Curiosity?”

 

“Something like that.” Tseng drew to a halt in the middle of the sparsely furnished room, turning to face Nanaki as he declined the offer of taking a seat. “I'm not staying long. I came on a whim, mostly.”

 

Brow furrowed, the demi-human lowered himself into a seat. “You're not normally one for whims,” he commented slowly, regarding the Wutaiian with a confused expression. Tseng did look faintly awkward, as if he was trying to speak but the words were failing him.

 

“That is true,” Tseng conceded with a tilt of his head. “I am not normally one for prying but for some reason, I can't help but be concerned.”

 

A wash of worry attacked Nanaki, filling him with dread. “Is something wrong with Yuffie?” he demanded, fear striking his heart as he leapt to his feet. He had just talked to her! She was fine then. With the gods gone, he didn't think there was anything strong enough to take her down.

 

Tseng waved a hand through the air. “No, I didn't mean that,” he said quickly, trying to dispel Nanaki's concern, though he was glad to see it. “I'm sorry if I mislead you. Though this does concern her. And you as well.”

 

Relieved, Nanaki relaxed though he was still confused and lowered himself back into his chair. “Is this about the wedding then?” he asked, unable to think of anything else Tseng could possibly need to talk to him about.

 

The Wutaiian furrowed his brow, looking genuinely baffled. “Wedding?”

 

“Archer told me she was getting married,” Nanaki stated flatly.

 

Silver eyes blinked before Tseng twisted his jaw in annoyance. “Archer needs to learn not to gossip,” he muttered to himself before shaking his head and lifting his gaze back to Nanaki's. “Yuffie's not getting married. She's allowing suitors but that's it. The elders are rather demanding on this matter. It is aggravating to say the least.”

 

A great sense of relief swept like a tidal wave through Nanaki. Yuffie wasn't getting married, thank Suzaku. A part of him, however, wanted to strangle Archer for giving him bad information.

 

He cleared his throat to chase away the violent thoughts, turning his attention to wringing information out of Tseng discreetly. “You've been helping her often?”

 

“When I can,” Tseng responded, rubbing a hand over his forehead. Nanaki had the feeling it had become a habit for him. “But I'm no better at Wutaiian politics than she is. Half of the elders nearly died when they saw me step foot on Wutaiian soil.”

 

“I see.” Nanaki pondered this for a second before changing the subject, still wondering at the purpose behind Tseng's visit. “Is that the reason you came to see me?”

 

The Wutaiian shook his head negatively. “The elders having nothing to do with it.” He paused, taking a deep breath and looking Nanaki in the eye, silver meeting gold. “Nanaki, what do you want?” he boldly queried.

 

He frowned in confusion. “What... do I want?” Nanaki repeated, uncertain where the Wutaiian was going with his question.

 

“Yes,” Tseng responded with a faint nod. The look on his face turned serious, almost chastising. “Because I don't think either of you really know and rather than try to figure it out, you're both just coasting along until someone or something forces you into a decision,” he stated with a sense of finality.

 

It didn't take a genius to realize that Tseng was talking about he and Yuffie, more specifically the rift that had grown between them. His eyes widened slightly and it required all of Nanaki's willpower to fight the blush threatening to override his face and give him away.

 

Tseng sighed at the stunned look on the demi-human's face. “I didn't come here to be a relationship counselor,” he began slowly, feeling somewhat uncomfortable. “I was originally on my way to Rocket Town. I'm not an advisor and I can't honestly say that I know the answers. But I do know that if something doesn't break soon, both of you are going to end up unhappy in the end.”

 

The Iyatokan man knew that Tseng was right, in more ways than one. He quieted, his eyes shifting to the side as his hands slowly curled into fists.

 

“Is she happy?” he asked, wondering why his throat suddenly felt tight.

 

Tseng blinked before understanding poured into his expression. “I don't think that's something you should be asking me,” he began. But Nanaki was already speaking again.

 

“I didn't notice it before but I can see it now, looking back,” the demi-human commented, more to himself than Tseng really. “The whole time I was excited about seeing my clan, she was depressed. The whole time there, she was depressed. If I stay with them, then I can't be with Yuffie. She won't be happy there.” He shook his head, the realization a painful truth.

 

The other man looked at him, gaze unreadable. “It's a little selfish, don't you think, to decide what makes her happy for her?”

 

Nanaki's head jerked up, his eyes widening slightly as he looked at Tseng. The Wutaiian continued, sensing his words were having an impact.

 

“Yuffie's my only relative now and as annoying as she can be, I still want to help her,” Tseng admitted with a bit of embarrassment. “But this isn't really something I can solve for her. Or you, for that matter. I just wanted to give you something to think about.”

 

A silver gaze flickered to the wall clock hanging over the mantle. “Anyways, I have to go. I told Aeris I would be there before dark and I don't want her to worry unnecessarily. She has an infant to care for after all.”

 

“Aeris?”

 

Tseng nodded. “Yes, I promised Marlene I would come visit. Don't ask me why, but she seems to enjoy when I do that.”

 

“Better not to keep her waiting then,” Nanaki responded, shifting to head towards the front door, his mind swirling and whirling with thoughts and wonderings. Tseng had activated a flurry of motion in once stagnant wheels of pondering.

 

The Turk paused in the doorway. “I apologize if I stepped out of line.”

 

Nanaki shook his head. “No, I think...” he hesitated and took a deep breath, a small smile flitting to his lips. “I think that you're right in a lot of ways. Thanks.”

 

Tipping his head, Tseng stepped out of the door. “Call her, Nanaki,” he suggested as he walked down the stoop, heading for a motorcycle that was a near twin to the one Sephiroth now commanded. Nanaki was surprised that he hadn't heard it approach. It was a rather loud vehicle.

 

The demi-human didn't respond, merely watched as Tseng picked his way across the darkened ground to his bike for another moment before shutting his door. He flicked the lock, considering it was growing late and returned to his packing.

 

Mindlessly, Nanaki shoved the rest of his necessities into the well-worn bag. His fingers snagged on something however and he snatched his hand back with a barely concealed yelp. Frowning, he peered at his hand, noticing a thin line of blood beading up from the cut on his palm. It was shallow and would stop bleeding shortly, but it still stung.

 

A bit perturbed, he looked into the bag and carefully, he removed a shiny, sharp piece of metal. One of Yuffie's shuriken. She must have accidentally left it behind when trying to separate her stuff from his. The sight of it brought a pang of reminder to the demi-human's right.

 

It had been left right before she had, when he hadn't offered to go with her.

 

Nanaki sighed and set the weapon aside with every intention of returning it to her. He knew that Tseng was right. It was time to make his choice. Wallow in his sorrow or lose his cowardice and say something. He couldn't continue in apathy.

 

It wasn't fair to either of them.

 

*****