[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

//Star-Light: Chapter 28//

//By Julie
//rated NC-17 for explicit sexual scenes
//yaoi content. Male/male having sex, getting each other off
//Parings: Squall/Seifer then Squall/Zell

//Disclaimer: Don't own them. But I wish I did - as do most normal people. But ONE DAY! they will be mine. Oh yes, they WILL be mine!!!

==================================

-Concert, that Night-

"Zell," Squall said to his young lover.

They were in Squall's private dressing room of the huge Esthar stage-center. Tonberries were on, which meant Blood Kiss would be performing in a short while.

Zell smiled at Squall, his arms wrapped around the Super Star's shoulders.

Squall pushed his lips down onto Zell's, kissing the young boy passionately.

Zell pushed his body against Squall's, letting the brunette into his mouth.

Moving slowly, Squall pushed Zell against the door of the dressing room, his lips trailing kissing down Zell's neck.

Zell smiled, his eyes closed, feeling Squall's hands remove his jacket.

"The concert," Zell whispered, although he didn't really care that much.

Squall tossed the jacket away, then pulled Zell's shirt off. "Don't worry about it," he replied softly, moving back to kiss Zell's exposed flesh.

Zell felt Squall's hand undo his pants then push the jeans off his hips. Then leather covered fingers wrapped around Zell's forming erection, slowly squeezing the blood swollen flesh.

Squall kissed down Zell's neck, moving his lips to suck on the soft, white skin. Zell's head leaned back against the door, his hips rocking into Squall's hand, feeling Squall sucking on his neck, the tongue of the Super Star caressing Zell's flesh.

Eagerly, Zell moved his arms down to Squall's leather pants. He quickly unclasped them, the pants falling to Squall's ankles.

Pulling Squall close, Zell whispered "Fill me."

Wanting to please, Squall gripped Zell's ass, lifting the blonde up slightly. Zell wrapped his legs around Squall's waist, waiting to feel the penetration.

Covering his gloved hand with saliva, Squall's hand moved down to his crotch, stroking his hardened flesh with the make-shift lubricant.

Then Zell felt the penetration, Squall's hardness burring deep into his body. Rocking against Squall, Zell held the brunette tightly against him, arms wrapped around Squall's shoulders.

In awkward motions, Squall thrust into Zell's body, the ass muscles of the young blonde clenching tightly around Squall's cock.

Zell's hands lightly caressed the back of Squall's neck and shoulder blades, softly tickling the over fabric. He purred into Squall's ear, motioning his body, grinding against Squall.

"Urm!" Zell moaned softly, clenching his eyes shut against the harsh penetration of Squall into his body. "Squall..." he breathed heavily, voice ragged with hunger.

Squall held onto Zell as best he could, forcing Zell's body up against the weight of gravity, thrusting in as harsh and deep as he could.

Feeling Zell begin to tremble, Squall knew Zell was nearing orgasm.

"Bishounen," Squall whispered into Zell's ear, tickling the lobe.

Zell's voice shuttered, his body convulsing. "Hyne above... Squall," he choked out, fingers digging into the brunette's back.

"Zell..." Squall softly whispered, the work hardly escaping his throat.

"More! Please Squall!" Zell's voice rang loud while his body tensed.

Thrusting into Zell's tightness, Squall's ability to think slowly vanished. He knew he was saying something to Zell, but he couldn't tell what it was. Maybe they weren't even words. But he didn't concern himself with that. He was buried inside of his desire. Rocking against the only thing in his life that he'd ever wanted.

Zell's body buckled against Squall's as he held the brunette close. His ass muscles throbbed on Squall's cock, then Zell's stomach tightened, his body releasing cum over his stomach and Squall's shirt. Zell moaned out something, but Squall wasn't sure if he heard him right, and, since he couldn't think that well, brushed it aside.

Feeling Zell's orgasm begin, Squall thrust hard into the blonde, pushing his own body into the realm of ecstasy. His stomach and legs tingled in pleasure, and then grinding his hips hard, he felt release. Squall's cum poured inside of Zell, releasing the sweet juice of his desire.

Collapsing back into the floor, they lay, breathing heavily, recovering from the sex.

Zell kissed Squall's cheek, then sat up and unbuttoned the Star's shirt.

Squall looked down at the sparkling black material, seeing Zell's cum on it. Zell smiled a shy grin, taking the shirt away.

Pushing himself into a sitting position, Squall reached down to his ankles and pulled the dark-blue leather pants back on.

"Do you 'ave another shirt?" Zell asked softly, moving to get his clothes.

Squall stood up, half-smiling meekly at Zell as the blonde dressed. "No..."

Zell buttoned his pants, his tongue gliding over his upper teeth, a bright smile on his lips.

A loud knock interrupted their conversation. "Griever?" Seifer's voice.

Squall walked to the door, cracking it open. "Seifer?"

"Hey, Cub," Seifer said, forcing a smirk from his lips. "We were supposed to go on 5 minutes ago. You and Chicobo done?"

Squall blinked, thinking over the sound level of his moans. Damn it. The whole set probably knew he'd just fucked Zell. "Yes. ... But I need a shirt."

Seifer bit back a laugh. "O-kay," he forced out, smiling his amusement. "I'll go get you one."

Zell stepped to the doorway, looking at Seifer from behind Squall.

Seifer smirked down at Zell. "Chicobo."

Zell sneered at the nick-name, but that only made Seifer laugh.

"Well, um," Squall spoke.

"Be right back, Cub," Seifer said to Squall, still plainly amused. "I'll get you a shirt." Then he turned and walked away.

Squall quickly shut the door, not wanting to see the rest of the set staring at him.

Zell put his hands on Squall's hips, smiling up at him.

Squall looked down at Zell's beautiful face. "My beautiful bishounen," Squall whispered, stroking a finger over Zell's tattooed cheek.

"I meant it," Zell said softly, his bright smiling fading into an odd-serious expression.

Squall's expression didn't flinch, but he honestly wasn't sure what Zell was talking about.

"When I came," Zell continued. "And I said I love you. I meant it."

Squall's chest tightened, his heart stopping for half a second. Oh, yeah. That's what Zell had said. Zell loved him.

Squall didn't know what to say back. He was at a loss for words. Is he supposed to reply? What is he supposed to say? What does Zell want to hear? "I love you, too"? Is that it? Would Squall mean it if he did say it back?

Zell smiled a softly. "I love you."

Squall opened his mouth, about to reply the same, but Zell put his hand on Squall's lips.

Zell shook his head. "No. Don't. You wouldn't mean it," he said, but the loving smile on his face didn't falter. "I don't want anything from you that you don't want to give to me. I only want what's true. So, don't."

Squall felt his face cringe, saddened that even Zell knew Squall was unable to commit to those words.

"I love you," Zell repeated. "I just wanted you to know."

Zell moved his hand away from Squall's lips, setting it on the Super Star's shoulder. He leaned up and bushed his moist red flesh against the dry of Squall's lips. Pulling back, Zell smiled happily at Squall.

Squall pressed his palm against Zell's neck, his thumb caressing Zell's jaw-line. "I want you," Squall said in a firm voice. "That's the best I gave give you: I want you."

Zell continued to smile happily. "That's all I need from you, baby. What you truly can give to me."

Another knock on the door interrupted them again. "Come on, Cub," Seifer's voice said from behind the door.

Squall started to move away from Zell, but stopped quickly and kissed Zell in a passionate meeting of lips and tongues. Then he pulled back and walked to the door, opening it.

Seifer handed Squall a shirt that looked exactly like the one Squall'd been wearing before. Squall accepted then put it on.

Zell followed Squall out of the room, but headed down the stairs, back to the floor where his friends waited.

~*~

"Seifer," Squall said as the band walked off the stage, taking a break before they performed their encore songs.

Seifer stopped walking, turning to look at Squall. "Cub?"

Squall walked close to Seifer, taking his arm and pulling him away from the cluster of people back stage.

"I, ah," Squall started softly, looking into Seifer's eyes. Taking a deep breath, he just forced himself to say it. "I wrote a song. I was wondering if I could play it."

"Here? Now?" Seifer asked.

Squall nodded, his cloudy eyes never leaving Seifer's sky-blue spheres.

"Alright, Cub," Seifer replied. "You have music or anything? Or are you just gonna play it alone?"

"I'll play it. If I can borrow your guitar," Squall said.

Seifer half smiled. "Of course. ... The song for Chicobo?"

Squall shifted his weight. "...About him. But I... never mind. It'll sound stupid."

"Its okay, Cub," Seifer said. "You want to do it the last song of the set?"

"Is that alright?" Squall asked.

Smiling, Seifer spoke. "Of course, Cub."

~*~

The last song of the intended play-list ended.

Seifer pulled off his guitar, handing it to Squall as the blonde walked down to the center stage. Squall watched as Seifer walk to address the audience, the brunette Star pulling on the Phoenix Rain, the name of Seifer's Washburn guitar. Guitar was properly named, in a glitter of golds an oranges and pail white-yellows. Quite a beautiful sparkle of swirling bright light colors.

"Griever here has got a song he'd like to sing," Seifer said to the crowd in a microphone, his voice booming out of the speakers.

Woops of approval came from the massive sea of people.

"Only gonna be him up here in a guitar and voice solo. I haven't even heard the song yet," Seifer continued, the audience still yelling and screaming. "So ya all are privileged."

Seifer smiled at the crowd's enthusiastic response. He turned, mic in hand, walking back to the main stage.

Squall still had his mic-headset on. He approached the center stage area, all eyes on him.

"I wrote this," Squall said softly, "for my best friend. Flare. Who's been nothing but the most important person in my life. And I owe him at least this song."

Seifer stopped walking and turned to look at Squall, surprised to hear the song dedicated to him, instead of the blonde Chicobo. He stood silent, waiting for Squall to being.

"If you could only see the way he loves me," Squall's voice began, then the guitar cords started. "Then maybe you would understand..."

Squall continued to play the few simple cords, a soft melody beat filling the stage-center

"Why I feel this way about our love and what I must do," his voice continued to flow. "If you could only see how blue his eyes can be when he says... when he says he loves me."

Then the song went dead. No voice, no guitar for a one-half second pause.

Squall then turned the song up a slight beat, bringing the guitar harder and faster. The music continued without lyrics for 10 seconds.

"When you got your reasons," Squall started the lyrics back up. "And you've got your lies."

"And you've got your manipulations."

"They cut me down to size."

The guitar cords lifted to a slightly higher pitch sound, Squall's fingers lower on the neck.

"Say you love but you don't..."

"Keep your love but you won't..."

And the guitar stopped, Squall's voice the only thing filling the room. "If you could only see," then the guitar music started again, "the way he loves me then maybe you would understand..."

"Why I feel this way about our love and what I must do."

"If you could only see how blue his eyes can be when he says..."

"When he says he loves me."

Squall's voice stopped and the guitar music turned back up for a few seconds, then to the normal cords as the lyrics continued.

Then Squall's voice started up again. "See the road less traveled."

"Shows happiness unraveled."

"And you got to take a little dirt... to keep what you love"

"That's what you got to."

Squall turned the guitar back up again, continuing to sing. "Say you love but you don't..."

"Keep your love but you won't..."

The guitar paused, holding a cord out as Squall sang the lines "Stretching out your arms for something... that's just not there."

Squall picked up the guitar beat back into the flow of cords. "Say love where you stand..."

"Keep your heart when you can..."

The chorus started up again, Squall playing the guitar in the original cords.

"If you could only see the way he loves me then maybe you would understand... why I feel this way about our love and what I must do."

"If you could only see how blue his eyes can be when he says.... when he says he loves me"

The brunette Super Star's voice stopped, his fingers continuing along a guitar solo 18 seconds before the lyrics continued.

"Say you love but you don't...Keep your love but you won't..."

"Say love where you stand...Keep your heart when you can..."

The guitar broke paused. "If you could only see," then broke back into the chorus cords, "the way he loves me then maybe you would understand..."

"Why I feel this way about our love and what I must do."

"If you could only see how blue his eyes can be when he says..."

The guitar stopped, Squall's voice the only thing echoing through the stage-center.

"When he says he loves me.."

Squall breathed slowly, his eyes closed.

The audience broke into roar of approval, chanting their love for the song.

Turning away front he crowd, Squall slowly walked back to the main stage, then walked off stage, the curtains dropping.

Squall meet Seifer's eyes immediately, the large blonde staring at Squall.

Squall approached Seifer, handing him back the Phoenix Rain.

"That was beautiful," Seifer said, taking his guitar.

Squall felt a smile twitch at the side of his lips, but he forced it away. "Thanks."

Seifer set the Phoenix Rain down on a guitar stand then he stepped to Squall. "That's it then?"

Squall put his hands on Seifer's shoulders, meeting the sky-blue eyes with Squall's cloudy spheres. "Yes," Squall replied in a whispered voice.

"Should have known," Seifer said, putting his hands on Squall's waist. "Should have thought it over before I kissed you the first time. Now I have to give you up."

"Seifer," Squall said softly. "You know I owe you so much."

Seifer closed his eyes and leaned down and pressed his lips to Squall's, meeting their mouths in a closed lipped passionate kiss.

Pulling away, Squall noticed Zell had come back-stage. The spiky-blonde was standing, his swirling sapphire eyes sparkling a sad look at Squall.

Squall half smiled at Zell, moving from Seifer's arms.

Seifer let Squall go, smiling over at Zell. "Chicobo."

"Zell," Squall said, stopping his approach once he stood close to Zell.

"You wrote that for Seifer?" Zell asked, his eyes still sparkling their waves of sadness.

"Yes. For him, about you," Squall replied, moving his hands to rest on Zell's shoulders.

"About me?" Zell repeated, some of the sadness washing from his expression. His sparkling sapphire eyes seemed slightly relieved.

Squall nodded. "My Bishounen."

Zell breathed, obviously calmed. "I was really afraid you were going to go back with Seifer. I thought... that..."

"No Zell. That song was about you," Squall said softly. "You are my everything. You broke me Zell. I was untouchable. But you thawed me. Thawed my ice-embraced heart. You broke me down. ... That song was about you. The way your eyes reach into my chest and wrap their fingers around my heart. My heart is in your hands. ... I would never to anything to hurt you. To break your heart Zell. Never. Because breaking your heart would kill mine."

Zell smiled a small, happy, content grin at Squall.

"You've filled my shallow soul, destroyed the barren wastelands of my heart. You did what no one else could do. And all it took was just one look from your eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes. Zell, you filled the emptiness that was me. And now I am yours. Entirely. ... Without you... I'm incomplete."

Zell wrapped his arms up, around Squall's shoulders, hugging him as tight as possible.

"I want you," Squall continue. "With all my heart."

"I love you," Zell replied, continuing his tight hug.

"Zell!" Jep Levy said, approaching the two lovers.

Zell and Squall pulled back slightly.

Jep held a cellular phone in his hand, a slight sad look on his face. "I got a call from the Balamb Hospital," Jep said slowly.

Zell's heart skipped a beat.

"You're mother, aunt, and two cousins were in a car accident earlier this evening," Jep continued.

The heart stopped completely.

"M-my Ma?" Zell said, tears already watering his eyes.

Squall stared a blank expression at Jep.

"In critical condition," Jep informed.

Zell's whole chest tightened, his throat swelling to cut off his breathing ability. Tears slowly trickled out of his eyes, down the soft, young flesh of his cheeks. The air from his mouth flowed in short bursts as he wrapped his arms around his stomach. His legs felt weak, almost too weak to stand.

Squall quickly took a hold of Zell's arm, pulling the blonde into a tight embrace. Zell melted into Squall's body.

Keeping his arms locked around Zell's body, Squall turned to look at Jep.

"I can put him on the next flight to Balamb," Jep stated.

Zell's fingers dug into Squall's shirt, his body froze in terrorized crying. No sobs, just silent tears falling from blank, wide eyes.

"Zell," Squall whispered, bringing his eyes down to look at the body pressed close to him.

Zell sniffed, pulling back to look up into Squall's breathtaking stormy eyes. "I've gotta see her."

Squall nodded, closing his eyes and moving his arms from Zell. He moving his attention back to Jep.

"Next plane leaves in 10 minutes," Jep said, clicking his phone off. "I've had them hold it until Zell gets there. ... You can come with me, Zell."

Zell wiped away a tear, looking at Squall a moment before walking away to go see his hospitalized mother.

Squall felt Seifer's hand on his shoulder. "Go with him."

Squall looked back to the large blonde. "Its his mother. ... Not my business." Turning away from Seifer, Squall shrugged the hand off his shoulder and headed back to his dressing room.

~*~

Zell sat on the large plane, first class. His four friends were here as well, sitting in the seats across from Zell.

Zell's arms wrapped around himself, hugging tightly. His face tilted down, eyes open with a few tears building, but they didn't escape.

His mother was hurt. Maybe even dying. Maybe she'd be dead before Zell got back to Balamb. Not to forget Zell's aunt and two younger cousins that were also in the hospital. But his mother was naturally the most important thing in Zell's life. His mother. That might be dying, or she could have already died.

What would he do? All alone. His mother had been the most important part of Zell's life. She'd been the best mother, especially since Zell's father had died in a construction accident when Zell was only 3. So Zell's mother had raised him alone, doing everything she could to make sure Zell was as happy as possible. Maybe even a little to lenient with letting Zell live so freely.

What if Zell hadn't gone to Esthar? Would his mother be fine right now? Instead of in critical conditions.

Critical conditions. What if she died? Actually died? What would Zell do?

Zell moved his hands to press to his forehead, the tears in his eyes building to actual crying.

Selphie watched Zell, her own eyes tearing a little.

Oh fuck! Zell though, his face cringing in pain. His heart hurt, his chest burned, and he found it hard to breath. My mom! ... My mom! ... She's ... dying. Oh fuck... am I ever going to see her again?! ... what ... I love her! ... Did I tell her that? Before I left? ... My ma! ... Fuck... I'm a horrible son. What ... what am I going to do?!

Zell crossed his arms over his chest, pressing his hands down hard to try to get himself to breath again. Tears continued in hard sobs. My ma... oh fuck... I feel so alone... Hyne I hurt. ... Can't stop cryin'... fuck! Ma, I'm sorry... I'm... I'm so alone... I... want Squall. I want him here! With me! ... I need him. And he isn't here.... Zell burst into harder sobs, his body completely hulked over in the seat.

Matt put his hand on Zell's shoulder, pulling Zell up.

Zell sat up, tears still pouring out of his puffy-red eyes. His expression the definition of emotional pain.

Grabbing Zell's wrist, Matt pulled Zell to him, forcing Zell into his arms. Once in Matt's embrace, Zell melted, crying hard sobs.

Matt held Zell, rocking him, not knowing what else to try to do to comfort the blonde.

Selphie knelt down next to the two boys, her hand resting on Zell's knee. Zell looked down at her, sniffing back another sob.

"It'll be okay, Zell," Selphie said in an odd-quiet voice that was trying to be as soothing as possible.

"My ma..." Zell choked out.

Matt continued to rock Zell, letting Selphie reply.

"She's strong," Selphie tried to comfort Zell. "She'll make it."

"What's gonna... happen... I'm ... just so...fuckin' alone!" Zell cried, closing his blood-shot sapphire eyes that had lost their normal sparkle. "Alone..."

Selphie didn't try to reply. She knew Zell wanted Squall, but Squall had simply let Zell leave. Not doing more then sending Zell on his merry little way home.

~*~

Squall sat at the table in his hotel room. His elbows on the table, body leading over so his hands could rest on the back of his head. His eyes were closed, expression a recoil of misery.

He'd wanted to go with Zell. But Zell's mother was sacred. Not Squall's business. And Zell needed to go see his mother, his family. Squall didn't want to interfere with that. It wasn't his business.

A light knock fell on the door as it opened, Seifer slowly stepping into the doorway. "Squall?"

Squall moved his hands to his neck, looking up at the door, at Seifer.

"Shit," Seifer mumbled, walking in further.

Squall let his head tilt down again.

"Squall... what... why didn't you go with Chic- ... Zell," Seifer asked, crossing the room.

Squall sat up tall, his arms moving to lay on the table. He didn't look at Seifer. "I want... to be with him."

"Why aren't you?" Seifer asked, reaching the table, standing across from Squall.

"His mother is hurt," Squall replied, looking up to meet Seifer's sky-blue spheres. "What was I supposed to do?"

"Be there for him, Squall," Seifer replied, a frown pinching Seifer's eyebrows. "He needs you to comfort him. His mother is hurt. You... don't abandon him now."

"But... what... how is it my right to interfere, to step in when its something so personal as Zell's mother? ... I can't-"

"You're lovers, Squall. It doesn't get anymore personal then that," Seifer replied.

Squall stared blankly at Seifer. Then his expression changed.

Hyne above, Seifer had never seen Squall sad before.

Squall rested his head in his hands, his fingers weaving into his brunette hair.

"Well.... Squall," Seifer said, moving to kneel next to the singer.

Squall turned his head to look at Seifer. The grey-blue eyes lit in a quiet roll of storm clouds.

"There's another plane. Leaving in 15 minutes," Seifer said, standing tall, holding his hand out to help Squall up.

Squall looked blankly at the hand before accepting.

~*~

Zell stood in the hospital room where his mother was laying on the bed. She was no longer in critical condition. But the pain-drugs had put her to sleep, so she was out.

Zell swallowed, his dim sapphire eyes watching over his mother. His hands were in his jacket pockets, eyes still blood-shot and puffy from crying.

His friends had gone home, leaving him alone. He'd told them to leave. He didn't want to have them see him crying anymore.

Zell's aunt and two cousins were injured badly, but not as badly as his mother. They were awake.

Drunk driver had hit them at 10:47pm Saturday night. Zell had been at the Blood Kiss concert.

Zell wanted to cry, but he couldn't. His mother was going to be alright. That relieved Zell completely. But he felt unbearably alone. Utterly alone in his misery. He wanted to see Squall, but Squall wasn't here. Wasn't coming. Had just brushed Zell aside when something bad happened in his life. Zell wanted to hug Squall tightly, to hold him, take comfort from him. Yet Squall was no where in sight. Probably asleep in his bed at that Esthar hotel.

Thawed. Squall wasn't. He was just as dangerously untouchable as Zell had feared.

Zell let out a sob. Okay, he still believed Squall wanted him. He still believe Squall would come. Zell was heartbroken, but still waiting. Squall would come. He wasn't asleep. Couldn't be asleep. Because Squall had said he wanted Zell. Squall's heart would die if Zell's broke. Zell was Squall's everything. Squall was incomplete without Zell.

Crying harder, Zell put his hands onto his face. He was alone. Heartbroken, but still waiting. Waiting for Squall. He would come. Right?

The door to the room opened to the room, but Zell hardly noticed, too intent on his own confused thoughts and emotions.

Two strong hands laid down on Zell's shoulders, moving forward to Zell's chest.

Zell looked up from his hands, eyes wide in shock. He turned around to see Squall.

Zell felt his entire body collapse into Squall's arms. Squall squeezed Zell tightly, letting Zell cry hard.

"I'm sorry," Squall whispered.

Zell's mind wasn't allowing any rational thoughts. No words formed. So he just cried his sorrow and relief.

"I'm so sorry," Squall repeated. "I'll never let you leave me again. We'll always be together. Always. We're meant to be together Zell. ... Fate brought us together. And now, I'll never let you go."

Zell pulled back just enough to look up at Squall, the sapphire swirls of deep blue water spheres sparkling happily, burning into the grey-blue storms. A happy smile pulled its way onto Zell's face, even though the sobbing tears continued from Zell's eyes.

"I want you," Squall said softly. "We're meant for each other. I'm incomplete when you're not near. And I'll never let you go again."

Zell squeezed Squall tightly, letting his mind catch up with his heart. He then moved up to meet Squall's mouth with his own. "I love you."

==============================================

// "If you Could Only See" is by Tonic