Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Sticky Things ❯ Why Lightning is Evil ( Chapter 1 )

Sticky Things by IsanDraconia

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Final Fantasy..if I did oh Lordy I would die happy. The only thing I own is the name of Seifer's Magazine, and Squall's brush. This story revolves around one thing...wait. Two things. Guys having hot sex (go back the way you came if this kind of stuff upsets, disgusts, sickens, [or any other word describing dislike] you.). Second thing is it revolves around sticky things, i.e.: candy, glue, other…stuff…Anyway! Squall is a little OOC. Now…

*Asano*-IWANNASAYIT!!!!

O.O*sweatdrop*…ok…

*Asano*-*smiles* On with the fic!

"blah"= Talking

/blah/= Seifer's thoughts

//blah//=Squall's thoughts

"Ugh! S-Seifer!!" The brunette groaned out. His face was contorted in slight discomfort. "It hurts!" he whimpered. Suddenly his head whipped back and he yelled in pain. "Stop!!" He yanked the brush out of the blonde's hands. "Don't you know how to brush hair?!?"

"It's not my fault that you had to run in like a maniac at that blobra, I didn't know that they explode when they're hit with lightning."

"Yeah, well I wasn't the one who said, `ooh, lets go play with the sticky mass, it's good training exercise!'" Squall put emphasis on `training exercise'. He hit Seifer's head with the brush. He pouted for a second then turned and started to try and work out the hideous blue slime that almost encompassed his head. Apparently, blobra slime reacts to the properties of lightning magic and becomes impossibly sticky after contact. Squall had just slashed the monster when Seifer got the idea to try and improve on his magic skills. The brunette gunblader had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Here, give me the brush. No, don't look at me like that, I promise I'll be more careful this time." Squall reluctantly handed over said brush and braced himself for the pain to come to his poor abused hair. He got off easy, as Zell had just walked in, being that the infirmary was open to anyone. The only other reason Squall and Seifer were there was after Seifer had shocked the blobra, it lunged at him and managed to leave some well-placed bruises.

"Dr. Kad- whoa, Squall, what tha hell happened to ya, man? It looks like a behemoth had a stomachache and puked on ya!"

"No Zell, I only wish." Zell made a face. "A blobra attacked us and Seifer decided to `have fun' with it. We didn't know they turn to super glue when you shock them." He glared at Seifer. "So, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to try and get this shit out."

"Oh, that's all that happened?" The two gunbladers blinked at Zell, thinking to themselves, /that's all that happened?/ with `are you crazy?' looks on their faces. "I've had that happen to me more times than I can count! Me having Quez and all…" He looked sheepish. "I keep forgettin' that happens. Just wash it off wit' water! Electricity is nullified by good ol' H2O, remember? Anyway, see ya guys around!"

"Bye Zell." "Later, chickenwuss." Zell twitched but decided against fighting Seifer. Squall was headmaster after all, and even though they were fairly good friends, he knew the brunette would still suspend him for fighting.

"Alright then, water huh? Let's see if Chicobo is right. Squall, since my dorm is closer, you can borrow my shower."

"Thanks, Seifer. Mine's broken right now anyway. Don't ask, I'm not telling. Let's just get this crap out of my hair." With that, they exited the infirmary, heading towards the dorms. As they walked down the halls, they got some weird looks and muffled snickers from some of the students. Squall glared at them so hard, that is looks could kill, the students would be dead 20 times over. It was enough to shut most of them up. Except for one auburn haired cowboy.

"Oh man! This is rich! Wha'd ya do this time Squally? Stick your head up a T-Rexuar's butt? Wow, that's too funny! Come on now, what really happened? Chocobo egg fell on your hard head?"

"Fuck you, Irvine." Said cowboy tipped his hat and winked.

"Anytime, Mr. Headmaster, sir." he joked. Squall was about to admonish the gunslinger when Seifer stepped in.

"Squall, that gunk isn't going to fall off any quicker if you waste your time with him! Drop it for now and let's go." He whispered under his breath in the brunette's ear. Squall shivered at Seifer's warm breath tickling his ear. He gave one last glare to Irvine that meant `I'll deal with you later' and followed Seifer to his room.

"Wait out here. I have to clean up a little." Seifer looked a little embarrassed. Squall shrugged and leaned against the wall. As Seifer typed in the code, Squall noticed Seifer looked pink in the face. //He's blushing? What the hell?// An electronic beep was heard, signaling that the door was open. "I'll be right back." The blonde mumbled.

Seifer walked into his dorm, a little warily. /I always keep one light on in here…what's going on? I don't like this…/ He stumbled over to a stand and clicked on a lamp. Suddenly, he was tackled by a figure. He turned to see who his attacker was, but before he could yell out, a pair of lips covered his own. Shocked, he gasped, and the assailant shoved his tongue in. Seifer would have none of that, so he bit down. His attacker yelped, signaling that he wasn't pleased with that action. Seifer shoved him away and exclaimed, "Nida!? What the hell?!?" At this time, Squall walked in, wondering what all the commotion was about. The sight he found was interesting. Seifer was on one side of the room, hand wiping at his lips, Nida on the other side, a line of blood down the side of his mouth. Neither had noticed the young headmaster yet.

"What the hell did you attack me for Nida!? Are you insane?!?" He glared at the airship pilot.

"I'm deeply in love with you Seifer, how can I not be close to you? I want to be part of every second in your life, share everything with you…" Nida looked at Seifer longingly. "I didn't mean to scare you, I want to show my eternal love for you!" He took a step nearer towards Seifer. Suddenly, Lionheart was pointing at the tip of his nose.

"Take one more step and I will file you for sexual harassment, Nida. Seifer clearly does not want your presence here. As it is, I will have to suspend you for breaking into another students dorm." Squall could see the signs. Seifer had disgust in his eyes, and stood in the room defensively. From the blood on Nida's mouth, it looked like the blonde ex-knight had bitten him. "Leave. I will deal with you later." Nida looked outraged, but started to walk out the door.

"Sure thing, slime-head." Squall's gunblade was at Nida's throat faster than a cactuar running to a hiding place.

"What was that again, cadet?" Nida gulped, scared now.

"No-nothing, headmaster si-sir…" Squall released him and shoved him out the door.

"That's exactly what I thought. Go wait in my office. If you're not there when I get back, I will tie you to a tree in the training center and let the Grats and T-Rexuars deal with you." The door ended the conversation with a slam.

"Seifer…are you…ok?"

"I'm fine. Go...go take your shower, Squall." Seifer had paused in his sentence because said need to `clean up' was sitting right behind the brown-haired gunblader. Squall followed his gaze and turned redder than Carbuncle's red jewel when he saw why Seifer needed to tidy his dorm.

A magazine titled "*Burning Desire" was sitting on Seifer's coffee table. On the cover was the blond-haired man himself, only a small patch of silk cloth covering his…nether regions. Seifer looked at Squall and blushed himself and explained,

"I-uh, I did a little modeling last month for a few magazines…um, this one said I had talent…and uh…they put me on the cover of they're latest copy…" He looked away from Squall, extremely embarrassed.

"How did they get rid of your scars?"

"HUH?!?" Seifer whipped his head around to see Squall examining the cover. He gulped and answered, "they use computers, to airbrush it out. You wouldn't believe the other things they edit in mags like these! Do you know how many guys model for "The Girl Next Door?" It's scary!!" Squall turned to him and gave him a small smile. /Hyne, he's cute when he smiles…what am I saying?!?! Snap out of it Almasy! He would never like you like that! He's Shiva's bitch remember?/

"-fer. Seifer. SEIFER!"

"Na-nani?!?"

"I said, I'm going to take my shower now."

"O-ok." Squall strode off to the bathroom, towel in hand. Seifer stared at Squall's retreating back. /Oh, Hyne, I can't believe he saw that! How embarrassing!/

//Hyne! That almost made me come in my pants right there!! I never knew he was so…BUILT! Seifer…// The brunette turned the water on and amazingly, Zell was right. The sticky mess tangled in Squall's hair slid right off, leaving longish chocolate tresses. His mind was on other things though. His hand reached down and grasped the proof of his desire and pumped his hand.

"Nnh! Mmh…ah…" He bit his lip, trying to stay quiet. His hand moved up and down his length, his thumb rubbing the tip. "Shit…feels good…ahh…" He braced himself against the wall, one hand against the wall, the other wrapped around his cock. Images of Seifer, his hand placed there instead of Squall's, Seifer riding him, Seifer sucking on him, kissing him everywhere, fueled Squall's need. His hand stroked faster, "mmm…Hyne!…ohhh…" He felt like he was gonna explode, his pace continuing to rise. His knees began to weaken, his release closing in. //Shit! I'm gonna…// "Sei-" His words were lost as his come spattered against the ebony shower wall, the sticky substance contrasting with the dark walls, creating a sinful pattern. His hand slowed, his breathing returning to normal. He rinsed himself as well as the wall off and got out of the shower. Navy blue towel wrapped around his waist, he walked out to ask Seifer if he had any extra clothes for him to borrow, as the blobra slime had gotten on his clothes as well.

"Hey, Seifer? Where are you?" He wandered into the kitchen and found Seifer sitting at the table munching on apples. He was dipping them in a little cup full of some kind of sweet. Seifer looked up at him nonplussed. Inside though, Seifer was freaking out. /Sweet Hyne! Why, oh WHY did he have to walk in here with only a TOWEL?!?! The little moans I heard in the shower didn't help either!!!/ Deciding that he wanted to see exactly what Seifer was coating the green fruit with, he stuck his finger in the cup of the gooey substance and licked his finger off.

"Mmm..caramel. This is new, Seifer. I never thought you as a sweets fanatic." Seifer's jaw was hanging, and he quickly shook his head to clear his thoughts and answered,

"I-uh..the apple…it's sour, so I put something sweet on it so it tastes better…"

"Why not get a sweeter apple then?" The blonde man paused for a moment, then chuckled. Squall had finished his treat, but found he wanted to see what was so enticing about apples and caramel. Seifer watched Squall take a bite out of the sticky treat. Squall's eyes closed in happiness, like he was tasting a piece of heaven.

"See? I told you it was good." Squall opened his eyes, and looked at Seifer. He smirked when he saw a spot of the liquid candy resting a little way from Seifer's lips. //It's now or never Squall, do it now and make a game of chase out of it, besides you have to leave to deal with Nida, and who knows if he'll ever allow you near him again!//

"Uh, Seifer, you have something on your face…no, not there…nuh uh, not there either." Seifer tried wiping the responsible instigator candy from his face, as Squall tried to direct him. "Here, I'll get it." The brunette said and took a napkin. But, instead of wiping off Seifer's face with the cloth, he leaned forward suddenly, and licked the caramel off, barely swiping the blonde's lips. As he pulled away, Seifer had a surprised look on his face. Squall got up and murmured, "tasty…" and looked at Seifer. He smiled and said,

"Well, I gotta go, to take care of Nida. Thanks for letting me use your shower, Zell was right, the slime comes right off. See you later." He turned and, seeing some clothes laid out for him, put them on, aware of Seifer staring at him. He smiled again and walked out the door, shutting it softly, but to the blonde gunblader, it was so loud, it felt like it would shatter his ears. He put his hand to his cheek, then grinned like a shark. /Oh, yes, you're mine now Squall. I won't let you go this time!/ With that he was out the door in a flash, chair clattering to the floor. /The hunt is on, my Lion./

Squall was about halfway to his office when a bundle of hyperness collided with him.

"Squall Squall Squall Squall Squall!!!!" Selphie jumped back and forth on her toes. The gunblader sighed in annoyance and droned,

"What is it this time Selphie?" He looked at the crazy girl. She giggled and grabbed his arm, dragging him towards the cafeteria. //I don't like this…what happened now?// Squall thought to himself. He paled as he saw big yellow birds, eating everything they could get their beaks on. Selphie giggled again and explained,

"Someone thought they needed to `release' the chocobos. He didn't realize that the chocobos here don't want to be released. They trampled him and ran straight here and started eating everything! He reminds me of a certain tall gunblader I know…" Squall chuckled at the memory of Seifer at the orphanage.

"Yeah, except he tried to bring chocobos home with him, not release them…"

"I was only six…" Squall inhaled sharply at the voice of said `chocobo-napper'. "Squall, I'm glad I found you, I have some things I have to talk to you about." Squall hung his head, defeated and whispered, "Ok." //Good going Squall, he's officially going to kill you now…//

A/N: Ok, I thought this was going to be a one-shot, but it seems like I need to hype myself up for the lemon scene…

*Asano*-Wuss.

I am not a wuss. It's my first lemon, and I need time to…uh…plan it out!!

*Asano*-Wuss.

>.< *throws chia mustard at offending wolfdragon humanoid*

*Asano**runs away with mustard* Bwa ha ha! It's mine! Mineminemineminemine!!!

-_-;;…uh, anyway, I at least know there will be a lemon, and some Rinoa bashing, because she is evil and I can't stand her! Ja, ne!

Reviews are my food. Please don't starve me, I need to live long enough to be able to graduate from college.

Now REVIEW!!!!!……please?