Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Sudden Darkness ❯ Chapter 3 ( Chapter 3 )

Title: Sudden darkness

Author: Yorda

Rating: R

Diclaimer: Sadly none of the characters of FF8 are mine, but belong

to Squaresoft

Couples: Seifer/Squall/Seifer

Warnings: angst, lemon, mild language, mild violence, slight OOC, fluff

Sudden Darkness

Chapter 3:

Squall took Seifer's hand, and led him on the bed. He could tell by looking at the grinding blonde that Seifer was in a lot of pain, but was also ashamed. He sat next to him and took the wounded palm into his own hand. Squall gasped as he noticed how deep the pieces had gone, how many there were, and that there was a long cut on the blonde's wrist. "Seifer!! You're bleeding like there is no tomorrow! We really should go show this to Kadowaki!" The blonde pulled the hand away again and shut his eyes in pain. "I-I already told you! I'm not going there! The doc will .will think I'm unstable and a danger to myself.She'll drug me and lock me up in a nuthouse!" Squall frowned. 'Seifer, you smashed a mirror with your hand, and purposely thrust your hand into a sink full of glass.You are a danger to yourself.' He thought in his mind. Squall narrowed his grey eyes. "Ok then.But...it will hurt." For a moment Squall thought he saw fear pass on the blonde's face and re-considered going to Kadowaki. "Ah, Squall, I...I'm sure you can't hurt me more than it already does." The brunette lowered his gaze and noticed Seifer's shirt and jeans, and even the blanket were full of blood stains.

"The glass needs to be removed quickly, so that we can stop the bleeding. You have any towels and something I can use to pull the pieces out?" Squall made his way to the bathroom and quickly returned. He wrapped his sleeves up and knelt down on the floor. "I'll start with the smaller ones ok?" He started to pull the pieces out ,one by one. Squall watched Seifer's face twist in agony , whenever he had to move a piece of glass inside his skin. "Ah.I-I'm sorry, but they've gone really deep." Seifer was biting his lower lip and small droplets of sweat were gathering on his forehead. He was trying hard, but his attempts to suppress the moans finally failed and he cried aloud. Squall glanced at the heaving boy quickly and noticed he was crying. The sight made his heart beat faster. He felt helpless, and angry at the same time. "Man! Why'd you have to do something like this Seifer! Of all the stupidest things.Why couldn't you smash the wall instead!? What the hell were you thinking anyway? " he kept pulling the pieces out faster, even though the cries he heard from Seifer, made his hands shake. "You're always so damn heedless!" Squall watched as the blonde's eyelids fluttered close and realised he was going to pass out. 'Fuck! .He couldn't yet have lost that much blood! Must be the pain he's been in for some time now.' "Seifer I'm almost done!" Squall said, as he pulled the last piece of glass from the now unconscious blonde's hand.

He gently wrapped the hand in a towel and checked Seifer's condition. He shook the boy to wake him up. "Seifer! Damn...Wake up!" The blonde slowly came back to his senses. His hand still hurt like hell. It felt like it was on fire. 'He's still in pain...' Squall closed his eyes and checked if he had any curative spells in stock. "Oh fuck..." All he had was a few mild sleeping spells. There wasn't really any need for magic nowadays, when it was so peaceful everywhere. 'Well, guess it's better than nothing.' He raised his hand and let the spell flow into Seifer, who soon passed out again. After Squall had made sure the bleeding had stopped, he had cleaned the many wounds and wrapped the hand in a bandage. Seifer was still laying on the bed in bloody clothes, his eyes closed. The brunette sighed as he saw the sink full of glass. 'Seifer...what made you do this..' The memory of him and Seifer fighting on the beach those many years ago came back to him. Squall balled his fists, feeling a sudden rush of anger. He hated himself for pushing the blonde out of his life, for killing their friendship. 'I should have been there for you. Not just now, but during the Ultimecia incident to... and...and always...I'm so sorry I didn't remember...didn't remember that you were my best friend.' He could have blamed the Guardian Forces for not remembering things, but he chose to blame himself.

The brunette returned to Seifer and kneeled before his bed. It felt odd to be so close to him. Squall felt an unfamiliar feeling rush through his body and lowered his gaze. 'You have every right to hate me Seifer...but...I'm tired of always fighting with you.' Watching the unconscious boy, Squall traced the long scar on his own face with his slender fingers, remembering how he got it. The brunette felt an urge to touch his blonde rival's identical one, and hesitantly brought his hand above Seifer's face. 'Can't we be friends again?' Squall brushed the scar with the tip of his index finger. The boy lying on the bed started to wake up. Squall pulled his hand back, feeling ashamed, and watched as Seifer slowly opened his green eyes. 'How did I just pass out like that? Did Squall use Sleep on me?'

"Seifer..." The blonde turned his head, startled. He hadn't been aware that Squall had been right next to him. Squall stood up and sat on the chair near by. He watched as Seifer carefully inspected his still hurting hand. The blonde searched the air with his hand, and when it found the nightstand, he pulled out a small vial from the drawer. He opened it with his teeth and popped four or five pills into his mouth. Seifer heard Squall let out a gasp. "For the pain Squall. I'm not a drug addict or anything." They were both silent for a while. Squall crossed his arms against his chest and leaned back in the chair. Both felt a bit uncomfortable, unable to think of anything to say. "Squall, um, I ...I ..' Seifer mumbled. He was fighting with a stubborn lock of hair, trying to make it stay in place, a nervous look on his face. A small smile forced its way on the brunette's lips as he watched Seifer.

"Squall...thanks...I really mean it." he said, and Squall noticed the boy turn slightly red.

"Uh, don't mention it..." He hesitated before continuing. "That's ...that's what *friends* are for." Seifer turned his head in the direction he thought he heard Squall's voice come from. 'Friends? But...we're not friends...Squall hates me and I...I...' his brows drew together in confusion. 'Why would he wanna be my friend now? Does Squall really remember what we used to be? I thought he had forgotten...Maybe he just feels it's his duty to be nice to me, now that poor Seifer can't see..' Squall saw Seifer's features darken. "Hey Seifer, I thought internal monologues were something only *I* do." the brunette said with a small smile on his lips.

"Squall, we've been fighting for over twelve years, I know you hate me, you don't have to pretend, just because I'm blind." Squall blinked his eyes, surprised by Seifer's words. They were silent for some time. Squall didn't know where to begin. He stood up and started pacing. "Seifer, I uh...I.." He had the words in his mind, but couldn't get them out. 'Why is it so hard for me to tell him how I feel?' He glanced the at the older boy quickly, and realised, he didn't actually even know what it was he felt for his childhood friend. 'I..I guess I don't really know how I feel...I know I don't hate him, and I want to be his friend again...but I keep getting this weird feeling when ever I'm near him...'

"Stop that Squall. It's annoying! Stop pacing around."

"Huh?" The anger in Seifer's voice surprised Squall and he stood still. 'Is he angry? Did I say something wrong?...Oh, wait, I've been talking only in my mind, as usual.' Squall sat down on the bed, next to the blonde. He put his hand on his shoulder and Seifer immediately stood up. "I don't want your pity Squall. I don't need you to pretend you like me, I know you don't. You hate me, remember? You don't want me, you want Sis...I'm not your friend!" Seifer was suddenly shouting and his face was flushed with anger. Squall knew what he meant, and felt quilt creep into his heart.

"Seifer I *don't* hate you, I-" He was interrupted by the other boy's loud snort.

"Don't bother...just get the fuck outta here Leonhart." Seifer felt like crying. He hated himself for being such an asshole to Squall, for his heart was constantly reminding him how much he loved the boy. How long had he had these feelings for Squall, he couldn't remember, but he had always tried to suppress them. Squall was the same gender he was, so there had to be something wrong with Seifer if he liked the boy in *that* way, right? If he would hate Squall instead, the feelings would go away, wouldn't they? He also knew Squall would never like him in the way he secretly hoped he would, so it was easier just to be the arrogant bastard he had become. Sure he was lonely, for he had no friends, but he thought it was better to be lonely, than being constantly laughed at, for being a freak. Squall didn't understand Seifer's sudden mood-swing. 'What made him so angry? I'm not here to pity him as he thinks...' Seifer turned his back on Squall and closed his eyes.

'I'm here because I just want to be his...his...friend?' He swallowed as he felt *the feeling* rush through his body again, making his heart beat faster. He suddenly remembered how miserable he had been the year Seifer had been out of Garden. And how happy Seifer's return had made him, though he hadn't let it show. Squall's frown deepened as remembered the reason he broke up with Rinoa, after dating her for some months. 'It didn't feel right...and whenever she kissed me I...I got this feeling of nausea, and just wanted to escape the situation.' Squall slowly lift his gaze and watched the tall boy before him. 'Could I actually...be in l-love with Seifer?' he asked himself, feeling confused. He stood up and swallowed, slowly walking towards Seifer. When the blonde sensed Squall was standing behind him, he turned around to face the brunette.

"Still here Leonhart? I thought I just told you to get lost!" he snarled. "Why would you wanna waste your precious time on a bastard like me...I-" he went silent when he suddenly felt Squall's warm hand on his cheek. "Huh? Squall...w-what do you think you're doing?" he asked, feeling confused, and felt the smaller boy pull him down. Squall's heart was beating faster than ever, and his mouth suddenly felt dry. Seifer's face was only inches away from his, as he took a final glance at his green eyes, swallowing hard, and then closed the space between them, hesitantly kissing the blonde.

~*~*~*~*~

-Yorda