Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ the latest adventure ❯ part one- into galbadia ( Chapter 1 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

it was cold

so cold

i can remember the way the rats chittered

crawling over rotting garbage like it's candy

me huddled in a corner trying not to see

it seemed so obscene

rats clambering over barbies

chewing them

i imagined their once-owners

who probably had plaits

and visited the dentist every six months

like the school nurse said

im glad i'm here

its better than what i called home

by more than a mile

there was no laughter there

but here
though only in the daytime

the poor kids come play

and i have someone to talk to

at night there's only winos

with breath like vinegar

and teeth like gravestones
it's scary

specially for a kid like me
(thats what the nuns say, if they get brave enough to come here;

a kid like you...., all sighing and breathy)

i'll be ok though

i know it

i'll be ok


* * *


my first memory is war

seeping into my eyes

my nose

my mouth

my head

when the guns stopped i started crying

i don't remember my real parents too well

my mother had blonde hair and smiled a lot

when she smiled she looked like an angel

my father hated the war

he was tall with hair like fire

i saw him die when the soldiers came

they had big guns

they took my mother away

she screamed for me

but i was lucky

they didn't understand her

i was alone then

hiding in the cellar for days

until matron came

i run an orphanage she said

you'll be safe there

but i thought how can i be safe?

my parents are dead


* * *



the worst parts are the ones that i had to forget just to stay sane



* * *


the orphanage was made of stone

it was by the sea

i smelt it as we arrived

there were other children

only one was my age

the others were younger

('cept elle, elle was different)

there weren't very many of us

matron explained

i only take special kids

we believed her

when you're four that's what you do.

i loved it there

the other kids were fun

though we fought a lot

like kids do

i had a special friend
elle

she was older

and very clever

but she left and we didn't understand why

some of us never stopped looking for her.

me, i knew right away

she was gone for good

like my mother



when i was six

a man and a woman came to the orphanage

matron came out and spoke to them

i didn't hear what she said

they spoke to all of us

and they played fun games

we all liked them

and wished they'd take us with them

when they had to leave


soon they did

but they talked to matron first

she looked at me only for a second

before turning back to them

then they left

and we were all disappointed


soon after that they came back

and talked to me in private

(would you like to live with us)

they said
and

(we think you're a lovely little girl)

i didn't like being called little

i was six

and i still remembered my parents

but i said yes anyway



i didn't like saying goodbye
the other kids were my only family

i was told to hurry up

my new parents

(that's what they said i should call them,
mummy and daddy)

didn't want to miss the train

the train went under the sea

it was my first adventure

unless i counted war

but adventures aren't meant to give you nightmares

the last thing matron said before i left was

it'll be an adventure

but just like war

it wasn't


adventures aren't meant to give you nightmares




******




(I want to lift myself up to the sky
serenade the stars as I pass by
I want to leave it all just for a while
I'll be satellite news
I want to lift myself above the clouds
cut the ropes around me you'll see me shine, shine
shine like the sun) - feeder




(i wonder what's to become of me?)



can i tell you a secret?

i sometimes hear voices inside of my head
(so fuck all your protests and put 'em to bed)

they say things i don't understand mostly

but when i got on that train they were screaming at me to go back to the orphanage

to home

i ignored them

i was with people who wanted ME



i wasn't about to give that up


i was only six

remember that

it's important




****above (line) by marilyn manson


the train stopped at a big station

full of loud noises and loud people

they all looked grey

cold

grim

it was the backdrop of my existence

for the next three years

centuries

millennia

aeons

i dont think i want to remember any more


*****