Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Propsal ❯ The Propsal 8 ( Chapter 8 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Chapter Eight

It was dark, the room was small and damp, and not even the keenest of
eyes of eyes could penetrate the blackness of the room. Squall didn't
know if it was day or night, he didn't even know how many days he had
spent down here, alone. Squall was bound and gagged, over the days he
had eaten little, a bottle of foul water had been forced down him and
stale bread also. The young man sat slumped like a sack against the
wall, not even bothering to think of an escape, for he knew there were
none. Squall past the time, thinking about his life, how it had
developed over the two years, faces, names and images came to mind,
the one which hurt most sat raw in his mind like an open wound. Rinoa.

Rinoa will I ever see you again...will I die before seeing your
face...die alone here and without you by my side? Will I not be able
to touch you again, to feel that fire you make me feel? I'll miss you.
I don't want to die, not now and never like this! I want to see
you...I want you to be there and I want to be in your arms, where I
know I'll be happy. I want to see my reflection...I want to grow old
and be with you Rinoa...not die young and not to be with you. Squall
tried to force these feeling and these images away, but there was one
of Rinoa that wouldn't go. One that stayed and wouldn't budge. It was
her face, when she had refused.... refused his proposal of marriage.
I'll never get to marry her...to have her as my wife. I'll never be
able to call her my wife never to share my bed with her again. I'll
never be able to feel what a father feels when his wife, his girl,
gives birth to their newborn child. Never again will I feel any of
that warmth.. Squall felt his stomach give a tight lurch as he thought
about this. he had never thought about having any children, in fact,
in truth, he had never seen himself as a father, he didn't want to be
a father. Children he had always considered to be an extra
responsibility. Then why now do you miss becoming a father Laguna
hadn't wanted me I am his son and...I never had a father because
Laguna didn't want this responsibility. I was abandoned. Like I was by
Ellone and maybe even Rinoa she refused me. Squalls brow formed a deep
frown, tears sparkled in his eyes, tears. Squall hadn't cried since he
was a young child.

Stop it. Stop thinking now. Rinoa hadn't abandoned you; Ellone
couldn't of helped abandoning me. Laguna...maybe he just didn't know.
Maybe he couldn't find me, but surely, surely he would of known, found
out? I don't care, that's in the past. I don't care about Laguna, I
never have done and I never will do. Rinoa does though .she loves him
as a father. Why? He's...... a nice man I suppose. Am I not a nice
man? Am I a horrible person? No. Stop thinking that! Rinoa loves me! I
know she does! I know it! I know it! If she loved me...why say that
she didn't know doesn't she know whether she loves me? Maybe she loves
Laguna more then I. No! No!

Squall banged his head against the wall; his already large bump on the
back of his head almost knocked him out cold. Squall flinched as the
pain of his bump seared down his spine, making his whole head a ball
of agony yet again. Squall remembered the struggle, when he had gone
to save Reene and Javri, he had been hit over his head badly with the
hilt of a sword...a gunblade. Who else did Squall know who had a
gunblade his head hurt to much to think about it. The SeeD hero let
his headache subside before he fell into a light and painful sleep, in
which he dreamt of Rinoa, Laguna, Irvine, Selphie, Quistis and Zell,
of Garden, of all the places he would probably never see ever again.
Why couldn't I of died before...Ultimecia .you should have killed me.
At least then I would of died with my friends. Friends.

Squall woke again, in the darkness, not knowing if it was the night he
woke in or the morning. Food and drink came in on such an irregular
basis he couldn't even tell by that. Squall tried to work the gag in
his mouth loose; it tasted nasty, making Squall feel forever sick. His
hands were tied tightly behind his back, attached to a cold metal
pipe, his wrists hurt and he dared not struggle free, for he knew he
would slit his hurting wrists and bleed to death.

Hopeless. God help me please! I can't breath...help me! Squall began
to cough, instead of getting the dirty bit of cloth loose and out of
his mouth, he had only succeed into making his situation worse and
swallowing the gag. Shit! I don't want to die, not now and like this,
in darkness and choking on this nasty piece of cloth. Squall coughed
louder and banged at the steel pipe he was tied to.Someone anyone
please come .help me! Squall felt his heart pump, it was beating fast,
his natural instinct to survive took over everything and he struggled
to free himself from the offending article which was in his mouth.

Wrists bled, his whole body hurt as he jerked and trashed his body
from side to side, letting out barley muffled cries. As if God had
actually heard his cries for help, the door opened. Squall was on the
very verge of collapse, his face cold and blue from the lack of oxygen
intake. Squall tried to force his eyes up, to see who was coming to
rescue him, but the image was blurred, in a quick swipe the gag was
pulled out of his mouth and away from his face. Squall let the air
fill his nostrils, never had the stale air of his compounds smelled so
fresh and delighting.

"Thank you," Squall wheezed, he didn't care that it was his enemy that
he was thanking, to have his life spared meant so much to him, it
meant hope, that he would once again see Rinoa's pretty face, a small
wish, a small hope, but it was there.

"Pitiful..."came the un-expected reply, from a person who owned a
voice which Squall recognised so well. Squall tried to force his head
up, but he was so weak, from the lack of oxygen and soon the lack of
blood, which leaked slowly from his wrists. "So this is how I find
you, Squall. Weak, weak and bowing before me! Well Squall, that is how
it should be. I used to be weak , but I am not anymore! You will see.
You will see," he laughed, a laugh so familiar.

"Seifer...??" Squall whispered, he looked up to see the dark outline
of the person who was most defiantly Seifer.
"Yes, Squall, it is I. Two years we have been apart and you haven't
changed a bit. I have though I have changed! Can you see? Can you? The
battle you may of won Squall but never the war," Seifer said, standing
tall above Squall. He bent down so he was eye level with his rival,
then he did something which shocked Squall. Seifer took Squalls wrists
and gently, even carefully, bandaged his wrists. Squall let him do
this and silently.

Seifer left Squall, closing the door behind him, leaving him alone and
in complete darkness again. Seifer...why? You helped me but why? You
made it obvious that we were still rival .do you hate me? I don't hate
you...I..I like you. You helped me feel better bandaged my wrists,
loosened the twine a bit and left that gag off. For a split second I
thought we were friends, I felt that we were friends. Then, we were
rivals again as you left .you and I. Rivals to each other still.
Always and forever. Squall didn't know, everything was confusing and
he was too tired to think about it.

Drifting, drifting into sleep..... Memories...pictures love.
Rinoa...?? Quistis...?? Laguna????? What does all of this mean?
Laguna...my father. My father! I forgot I can' I just can't see him as
my father. Rinoa my wife Quistis as good as my sister Laguna dad?
Father, no! No! I will never care about him as a fathre .as a friend
even! Why?? Why should I?? Stupid dreams...go away...help .Ellone!!
What does all of this mean...is this Ellone's 'connection'...no, I
don't feel it, this is just a dream! Get out! Get out of my head! Stop
it...Laguna...I know. I know who you are.. I don't care.. I don't
care! Do you hear me.. Go away!

"Go Away...Laguna!!!!!! I don't want you...No....Leave me alone!"
Squall yelled out aloud in his sleep. His eyes snapped open, he was
breathing hard and his heart was pumping. "Laguna? Are you...." Squall
started to say out loud. stupid...stupid. "Laguna...if you can hear
me.. help me, so I can see Rinoa again, so I know she loves me.. as I
know that.. that I love her.." Squall whispered to the darkness. There
was no reply, Squall gave a snort of a laugh, "of course there's no
reply. I'm mad..talking to myself here.. mad.. mad.. mad!" Squall said
loudly. Again, Squall sunk into a deep depression, missing his friends
and Rinoa. For the first time though, Squall thought about Laguna, he
wanted to talk to him, he needed to. All this anger he had felt for
him, which had really just only come out, had subsided. Now Squall
knew he had to talk to him, about their relationship, which was
distant.

Sleep.Things have changed so much.. Wake. I.. I'm a different person..
Wait. I'm a better person.. Rest.

*****

Ellone hit a white balloon to Rinoa, they had been batting the things
around for ages, like children. Selphie giggled like a girl and spun
around in a circle. "I wish everyday was like this..!" she said
happily. None of them had been this joyful in days, all still worried
over Squall. Today though the sun had shown his face, his rosy cheeks
beaming down upon them. He gave them hope, the cheery little sun.

"Yeah..." Rinoa replied, sitting down and laying on the grass outside
of Garden. Ellone looked at her friend with sympathy, the sun had
ridden Rinoa of all her sadness.

"Rinoa, Squall will be fine," Ellone said, smiling. Selphie nodded and
grinned, batting the balloon to Rinoa.

"Yeah, Ellone's right Rinoa! Squall isn't gonna go anywhere! The guys
and Quistis'll make sure of that!" Selphie said with confidence,
though secretly and deep down, her heart was filled with worry and
fright. (What if Squall isn't gonna be Okay? What about Irvine!)
Selphie his these feeling though, she had to be strong, if she wasn't,
Rinoa might get even sadder.

Rinoa plucked a daisy from the grass and leant down on her elbow,
resting her head in her had. "I know what he's thinking. He's
wondering if I still love him, I practically turned him down, he'll
doubt my love for him and he's all alone taken and I have no way of
telling him that I do love him. I will always have this fear, deep
down. What if he doesn't come back? What if he dies thinking I don't
love him, or as much as he thought I do. I love Squall...I always will
do, I love him more everyday. I can't tell him this now though, can I?
I have to wait.. wait until he returns. Do you know how much this
hurts? I wish.. I wish I could be there and help him. I'm a sorceress
aren't I? Why can't I help him! I wish I was a powerful sorceress,
like Edea is.. or had been, then I...." Rinoa stopped, she was letting
too much emotion out, she was losing her calm, she was supposed to be
holding it. Being strong for Squall, but she couldn't. How could she
be strong? How could she when the man she loved could possibly die?

Ellone embraced her friend in a hug, Selphie soon followed and they
all hugged each other. Rinoa held back the tears, not allowing herself
to cry, to appear weak. She had to be strong, for Squall and for
herself. People depended on her being strong, there had already been a
wave of panic spread through Garden, for Squall was loved very much by
the people within it, especially the young aspiring SeeDs.

"I'm going to put my wedding dress on again..."Rinoa announced
suddenly, she loved the thing. The old lady had completed it and all
the bridesmaid dresses earlier then expected. Ellone let out a burst
of giggles.

"You've already put that thing on ten times already, how many more
times do you want to want to wear it?" Ellone asked.

"Ellone...the last time I'll probably wear it, will be when Squall and
I get married. It is such a pity to have such a beautiful dress if you
are to wear it only once," Rinoa replied, sounding confident this time
that Squall was going to come back. (Squall...don't die on me.. not
now.. not ever.. you won't die. I know it!) Rinoa silently reassured
herself, like she did so often. The three young women walked back to
Rinoa dorm, where the brides dress was stored, along with the bride's
maids.

Rinoa put the dress back on and looked at her wedding ring, which she
kept safe under her mattress. They were indeed very beautiful, not big
like Squalls own original one, the one that hung from Rinoa's neck on
a chain. These were the most expensive and the beautifulest things
made. The man who had painstakingly crafted them had even said so.
Rinoa put the ring on, wondering if it was bad luck. No, it couldn't
be.

"It's going to be strange Rinoa, you will be Mrs. Leonhart, you will
have to introduce Squall to people as your husband. Doesn't it sound
so...scary?" Selphie asked, she and Ellone had put on their beautiful
dresses. Rinoa stared at herself, picturing Squall beside her, looking
happy. The young woman closed her eyes, she missed Squall. His strange
ways, his shy movement around her, the way he told her he loved her,
even the way he smiled. She missed everything, his company, his touch,
everything. She laughed silently, from someone she had first thought
as the worst person to have the company of, to be the person she
actually loved, to the person whose company she always craved.

"It won't be scary, because this is what I want, what he wants. So,
I'm not afraid. I want this more then life itself," Rinoa replied,
keeping her eyes closed, still picturing him, imagining that he was
there in front of her, softly and shyly saying that she was beautiful,
telling her that he loved her. Rinoa new he was afraid that she didn't
love him, he always left after saying these things, almost always. So
he couldn't look her in the eye, so that she couldn't tell him that
she loved him more then anything else in the whole wide world.

Selphie thought this was amazing, that Rinoa wasn't even the slightest
bit afraid, for Selphie knew that she would, if Irvine asked her to
marry him. She would be Mrs. Kinneas. Weird. Marriage was too early
for them though, not yet, they would wait a few years, to see if their
love would stay. Selphie knew it would, she felt like jumping up and
down at this point. She wanted to jump and soma sult around, to be out
in those fields again, running and jumping. She was worried about
Irvine, but she knew he would be alright, as she knew that Squall
would be alright. Squall had to live. He had to. he just.....had to.

"Rinoa! Your wedding will be a day to remember! For you, for Squall
and for all of us! It's gonna be the bestest!!!" Selphie chirped, "the
Balamb Garden band is the greatest!! We're gonna rock!" she grinned,
punching the air with her fist, then remembering she was in a long
flowing dress and falling over.

The day ended peacefully and with laughs. Rinoa for the first time,
forgot all her worries, concentrating on having a good time with her
friends. Not worrying about Squall too much, or Irvine, Zell Laguna
and Quistis. They laughed and cried tears of joy and excitement, doing
girlie things, brushing their hair, painting their nails and trying on
each others make-up. The had pillow fights like children, beating each
other over the head until the pillows burst, sending feathers flying
up in the air. The laughed so much tears fell out of pure happiness,
running long lines of mascara down their cheeks, forgetting
everything. Adult responsibilities, anything, it was all out of the
window. Once again they were five years old, oblivious to the world,
not really caring about anything much.

By dusk, they were still outside, leaving their weapons in a heap, not
really needing them. They were all laid down, side by side, looking up
into the starry sky, looking at the moon. The moon smiled down upon
them, he was handsome. He sung a lullaby, caressing them with the cool
air. His white face representing peace, peace now it is night. While
the sun is there, fight under his red anger, but under me, rest,
sleep. Would Squall be resting, would the Galbadians be fighting,
ignoring that sign of peace up there, staring down? Rinoa didn't know.

Squall slumped, he looked at a strange light, it was a white line, a
pure white line, he moved his head and looked up, twisting his body to
do so. The moon, so sweet, so peaceful. Squall could see it now. Once
he couldn't, as the curtains which blocked the sun light had also
taken the moon away, but now the certain was gone, removed by Seifer.
Maybe a taunt, to give him a sight to the outside world, where he
couldn't be, but now, he could see the moon. The whole moon, in its
full and delightful glory. Squall loved it now, for he could see his
mother now, looking down. Raine. She was his mother...he knew it, he
had felt it the time he had seen her, when Ellone had taken him back
to the past. Mom, thank you.. thank you for protecting me so. Now
though. I need you even more