Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Secret Santa Admirer ❯ One-Shot

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Its not much but Happy Holidays everybody!!! -Linkin
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The Secret Santa Admirer-

I hate christmas if you ask me its the worst time of the year. Everyone pretends to be happy and cheerful for the sake of some damn holiday. Knowing that the very next day it'll all be the same. People you met shopping for gifts or decorations won't give you a second glance if you see them again. Presents so thoughtfully bought will probably be returned once the person stops faking their liking of it. Christmas is just one big advertising party, one big sale to make more money for stores so they're going in to the new year wealthy.

Sure there's a bigger more heavenly meaning to Christmas but only a handful of people acknowledge that part.

Its Christmas eve morning and I'm going down the second floor hall to class. Everyones even more cheery than they were days before. Why? I'll tell you the real reason for the plain fact they get something out of tomorrow. A present of some sort. Half of them don't care about anything else the holiday is supposed to represent. I'm one to talk though because I just don't care.

They can call me a scrooge all they want well I say bah! humbug to them. Truth is this Christmas I'm especially unhappy and its all because of him.

I go into Instructor Trepes classroom and there he is leaning against the front of his desk talking to a friend.

Irvine Kinneas. Bringer of my joys and sorrows but he doesn't know that. He probably doesn't even know me. That might sound a little unbelieveable considering who I am. Squall Leonhart commander of Balamb Garden, SeeD leader, defeater of the sorceress', the guy that saved the world. Yeah some title if it means nothing to him. Since the end of that war everyone pretty much went back to the way things were before. Sure we all talk sometimes and I guess hang out but thats it. During the time I found myself lusting for Irvine then longing for him and now feeling miserable.

I heard the soft sound of the bell more like a quick beep and I snapped out of my trance. I hope nobody noticed my staring. I took my seat in back which I was always thankful for. More so now because it gives me the perfect view of him. This has been my life for months. Watching him and wanting him but being cursed with who I am I can't do anything about it. Sometimes I even get my hopes up hoping he'll come to me. Those fade quickly.

"Good morning everyone." Instructor Trepe says when she enters the room. I'm really proud of Quistis for getting her job back, the one she wanted. Selphie's a nurse now, Zell well he helps train younger cadets that are weapon free. Seifer well he never came back to Garden but he's doing fine last I heard. Irvine besides being on my mind twenty-four seven, he joined the Garden officially and is working towards SeeD. Although I don't see why he isn't already after what he's done to help us.

Me, well I was given my position and still take classes like everyone else. Unfortunately just because you save the world doesn't mean you know it all. All that and watching Irvine takes up pretty much all my time.

"I have a special assignment for you all today," The instructor said. She pulled a large bowl from a drawer in her desk. A few people cheered knowing what that bowl probably meant and others like myself groaned.

"Well since you seem to know what this is I can save myself explaining. The headmaster thought it'd be a good idea to play secret Santa this year. So every class is doing it. All you have to do is pick a name and buy that person a gift. There will be an anouncement tonight for everyone to come back to the classroom where they recieved their names and exchange the gifts."

"What if you can't find a gift for the person you get?" One of the girls in class asked. "It doesn't have to be special or expensive just a little something to say...... merry Christmas." Quistis finished explaining and began walking around the classroom holding out the bowl to the students so they could pick a slip of paper.

Just what I didn't need to make my day worse. I was hoping this wouldn't happen maybe I can find an excuse to get out of it. I watched the instructor move to the next row of desks. It was Irvine's turn. I watched his long delicate but well worked sniper fingers pull out a slip of a paper. He read the name and frowned. I hope that frown wasn't for me. He stuffed the paper in his pocket and went on socializing with the boy he'd been talking to at the beginning of class.

As Quistis drew closer to me I secretly started wishing for Irvine's name, getting him a gift might just be my way to get closer to him. I was also hoping I wouldn't get him because what if I do and can't find anything he'd like. Once again this stupid holiday is ruined for me.

When Quistis got to my desk she smiled down at me and said "I know this is stupid but you know how Cid can be." "Whatever." I took my slip and she walked on by. I decided to wait until the end of class before looking at it. I don't think I could handle the result right now. That wasn't the brightest idea either because I spent the rest of the class wondering if it was Irvine or not and wondering whose name he got.

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When the class was over I went to my room quickly to avoid the crowded hall. I found a wreath hung on my door. "Selphie." I mumbled to myself and I was about to rip it off but dropped my hand and just opened the door instead. I got inside and wasted no time pulling the little slip of paper from pocket. Silently hoping it wouldn't but would say his name. I read it and there it was in plain black and white bold........... Irvine Kinneas.

I stood and stared at it for awhile not sure how to react. Once I snapped out of it another problem hit me. "What am I supposed to get him?" I crumpled the paper and tossed it on the desk. I sighed and looked at the clock. I didn't have another class for awhile so I figured I'd go out and get the gift hunt over with.

I left the room and to my surprise bumped into Irvine. "Hey Squall how ya doin'?" "Fine." "Ya know we haven't talked in awhile." He said. I tried everything to avoid eye contact. There's a reason we don't talk much. Everytime he's around I get nervous and tongue tied. At least I don't have Laguna's leg problem.

"So like, that secret santa things pretty lame huh?" I nodded. "I didn't get the person I wanted either. What about you?" He asked me and I glanced up at him once quickly taking in his friendly grin. The way his eyes cast off this purple hughe from his vest. "It doesn't matter." I said lying because it mattered a lot. Now I'm standing here talking to him. Any normal person might have asked him what he wanted to make things easier- not me.

We stood in the hall in an uncomfortable silence for a minute. "I have to go." I said quickly and started walking away before he could say anything else. I walked quickly out of the boys dorm corridor.

"Hey Squall, have a candycane." Zell said holding the thing out to me. I unconciously took it. "So what's up?" He asked. "Nothing. I was about to go out." I really wish I could be more in the Christmas mood like everyone else was. Leave it to Zell to go all out. He was wearing a wreath on his head and jinglebells hung around his waste. "Nice hat." I said. "Oh yeah thanks. Selphie's idea. She's got a head band covered in mistletoe so watch out." "I'll do that. Well I have to go. Thanks for the candy." I kept going for the exit and he waved. "Merry Christmas!" I heard him call after me.

Maybe sometime it will be.

I finally got out of the school safely and made it to Balamb market. The whole way there I ran through things that Irvine might possibly want or need. I went in the store and it was unfortunately crowded. I started to just turn around and forget about it but that wouldn't help any. So I pushed through the crowd and walked the isles looking over the items.

"Cologne?" I thought picking up a bottle then putting it back. "He's probably got enough." I moved to a different area of the market. "Maybe I should just get a fruit cake." I mumbled to myself. "Now you know thats not a good gift." A woman beside me said. I turned quickly seeing who it was. "Ms. Dincht." "Hi Squall how are you?" She asked. "Alright, not really in the Christmas mood though or the shopping one." We started walking through the produce section so she could finish her shopping.

"Why on earth not, everyones supposed to be jolly during the holidays." She said "Not if you don't get what you want." I mumbled which was a big mistake and I shouldn't have said anything.

"Well what is it that you want?" She asked stopping her shopping to look at me. Mothers always have to know whats wrong. "Its nothing." "Don't give me that. I can tell when a young boy is in need. Is it a companion you want Squall?" I looked away from her hoping she wouldn't see the answer in my eyes. "Well you know if you really want this......... gift, you should get it. I think you deserve a little holiday cheer just like everyone else." She grabbed my chin in her hand and made me look at her.

"I don't know if I can do that?" I told her and her face softened. "Well then maybe I could help you at least pick out a gift for who ever it may be for." She said and we started walking through the store again.

"So whats this person like?" I took a deep breath and let it out quickly. "Well they're kind of out going I guess. Talkative and easy to like." "Sounds like you got it bad. So what is this person in to?" "I don't know guns I guess." I shrugged. "Hm don't know much about that." She said thoughtfully.

"Its alright, I think I'll just forget about the whole thing." "Aw well if you really don't know a nice card is always better than nothing. Just make sure its from the heart. What better time to express your feelings for someone than Christmas." What she said made sense and got me thinking. "Thanks Ms. Dincht, merry Christmas." I said to her and she touched my shoulder before I ran off. I stopped at the greeting card section before leaving the store.

I looked them over and found one that I thought would be appropriate. I paid for it and went back to the Garden.

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When I got back to my room I sat at my desk with the card thinking of what to write inside. I tapped the pen on the desk for minutes before writing the first line. Zell's mom was right I should put my issues aside and let Irvine know how I feel. What better way to do that than writing it out. Unfortunately what I wanted to tell him only came out as......

Merry Christmas Irvine.
Friend,
Squall

It was pretty lame and sad but all I could get myself to doing. So I put the card in a nice pale blue envelope and sealed it up. I left it on the desk while I continued the rest of the day.

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The night came quickly and we were all called back to our first classes of the day. We're probably the only Garden that has class on Christmas eve.

When everyone was there we dropped all our gifts on the instructors desk. Once everyone was settled Quistis started handing them out. No one waited to tear there's open when they got it. Some people groaned and complianed finding out who the gift was from. Some were thrilled. I know Irvine won't be too thrilled with the card or who its from but like Ms. Dincht said its better than nothing.

"Here you are Squall. Merry Christmas." Quistis said handing me the gift. It was from someone in the class I didn't really know well. "Tyrone." I read quietly to myself. We'd played cards a few times but that was as aquainted as we got. I opened the thing slowly and found out it was a magazine. Weapons Monthly special edition. I looked over at him and gave a nod, he smiled back and waved.

Why didn't I think of this? I'm sure Irvine would have liked a magazine. I sighed and started flipping through it to keep myself busy for the time being. I was also using it as a decoy to glance over at Irvine. He'd read the card and smiled, that I didn't expect, but maybe he was just silently laughing at it.

After half an hour we all were free to leave and go to the Christmas party in the Quad. I chose to go to my room instead. I'd have less of a chance running in to Irvine there.

The night passed quickly as I lied there feeling like an idiot for not having given him something better. He's supposed to be the man of my dreams and I give him a lame card. I looked at the clock and saw that it was getting close to midnight. I wondered when the party ended. I hope Irvine's not too upset, I really hope he didn't tell anybody about the card either. "I hate Christmas." I said out loud rolling over in the bed. Images of everyone waking up the next morning getting presents and enjoying each others time, having parties filled my head. Everybody getting what they want being with who they want. I should have that, I do deserve that. This Christmas I don't want to be alone.

I was suddenly struck with a new confidence and jumped out of bed. I left the room in my night clothes and went to Irvine's dorm.

I knocked on the door loudly but not too much so I wouldn't distrub anyone else. It took a minute but the door finally opened and a groggy Irvine stood before me in his pajama pants and tank top. His hair was still pulled back but a little messed from sleep. Merry Christmas to me. He looked stunned to see me there and so late.

"Can I come in?" I got myself to say after awhile. "Yeah sure." He said sounding like he'd never been asleep to begin with. "I'm sorry about the card, I just really didn't know what you'd want." I said why he fished around for a light. "That's alright I liked it mainly because it was from you." He said and decided on turning on Christmas lights that he'd had on a small tree in the room.

"Well I do have something else for you," I said while taking my shirt off he was down on his knees looking for the plug to the lights. I hope this works. "I figured since its almost Christmas day I might as well give it to you now." I continued. He finally got the lights plugged in and stood up turning to me.

"You didn't have to, what is it?" He asked and I dropped my shorts to the floor. "Merry Christmas."