Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ The Sharpshooter Memoirs ❯ Chapter One - Midnight ( Chapter 1 )

Author's Notes: Well, I was going to wait until I got a few more reviews before I posted this chapter, but I figured what the hey, I wrote it for a reason, right? Besides, I figured that if I posted something that pertained more to the storyline, I might be able to squeeze a few more comments out of you guys. Don't get me wrong, I love the lot of ya ^_^ I just need to know if this is a yay or a nay so I know whether it's worth my time or not. I have to be grateful, though; this story was the only thing that kept me from going truly insane this weekend. Stoopid school… GAH!

~Chapter One~

I couldn't remember much before his first night at the orphanage. It was as if the story of my life had begun the very moment I arrived at Edea and Cid Kramer's home.

The night I arrived stood out very clearly in my mind, even over the long years. It was almost midnight when I arrived - well past my bedtime (for some reason that always seemed important) - and thin whispers of clouds crawled their way silently across a half-full moon, its pale light shining weakly down upon Centra's broken landscape. There was an ocean somewhere around - I could remember hearing the waves - and every few seconds a bright band of light would sweep across the sky from the distant lighthouse. It was damn bloody cold, too. I could also remember seeing my breath as silver mist before my eyes as the two big men who had been with me for the last few days gently eased me forward to the big stone house that loomed out of the darkness of the night. I didn't know where these guys came from, but now that I think back on it, I think I had purposely blocked those memories from my mind… for my own sake. Like trying to forget a really horrible nightmare, only this time, you knew that it had been for real.

I had been reluctant to go; strange, new places always made me nervous, but even as a child of three, I think I understood that I had no other choice. So, clutching the worn duffle bag to my chest that contained the last of my worldly possessions, I climbed solemnly up the moon-washed stone staircase, amongst the tall forest of vine-choked pillars, up to where the woman dressed in black stood.

"Mrs. Kramer." One of the big men said in his deep, husky voice. "We cannot thank you enough for what you are doing. I know it is difficult for you and your husband, especially with so many other children…"

The woman raised a pale hand, silencing him gently but effectively. "How was he found?" It was the first thing she asked.

"Esthar soldiers on their way to Deling City took out his family's ranch on their way." The second man said, his voice hinting at something he had seen far too often. "He was the only one that survived." He reached into his jacket and pulled out a yellow envelope, which he handed to the woman. She took it from him, opening the top flap and withdrawing the few papers that were inside. Printed on the sheets was only the basic of information about me, who was now her responsibility.

The woman in black nodded, then slowly sat down on her heels so her eyes were level with mine. "What's your name, honey?" I think it was her voice that stood out the most that night; so kind, so welcoming. Well, it had been, for that moment.

But even as comforting as her voice was, I still moved to hide behind the legs of the big man who had brought me to this place, holding my duffle bag up closer to my face, but I couldn't make myself feel afraid. The woman who was kneeling before me was very pretty (it was probably the first time I ever thought about a girl that way); the moonlight shone off her silky black hair and her dark eyes were gentle and warm. I suddenly felt whatever fear I might have had melt away and I lowered my bag and said, really quietly, "Irvine."

"Irvine." She repeated, a kind smile on her face. "My name's Edea, but you can call me Matron. I'm going to take care of you, now." A pale hand was extended to me, and I emerged from my hiding spot to take it. I could remember how warm her fingers were… nurturing… The woman… Matron, I reminded myself… smiled and stood, never releasing her gentle grasp. "Did he see any of it?" Her voice was firmer and formal as she spoke to the men once again.

The second man shook his head. "Thank Hyne, no. His mother hid him in the closest, but the rest of the family was not so lucky. His parents, the two older sons…" His voice trailed off, the trademark sign of a man who had seen it happen too often before. "He was lucky."

"What a horrible time for a child to grow up in." Matron's voice was bitter.

"We greatly appreciate you doing this, Mrs. Kramer." The first man said with a bow. "You are doing wonderful things for these children. No living kinship whatsoever, and during a time of war… not many people would take in so many children out of the goodness of their hearts. How many does he make?"

"Seven." Matron responded. "But please, don't hesitate to being any more. If I don't take care of them, who will? Now, if you excuse me, gentlemen, I have to put Irvine to bed. It's been a long couple of days for him."

"Of course." The two men bowed again. "Goodnight then, Mrs. Kramer. Irvine, be a good boy for Matron." I did not respond, I couldn't respond, even if I wanted to; I was too bust yawning. Bowing for a last time, they turned and were immediately swallowed by the darkness.

"Irvine, how about we go inside? I'll show you where you'll sleep. That's a lot better than being out in the cold, huh?" I nodded sleepily, only half-hearing what Matron was saying, and allowed her to lead me inside the stone house.

Despite its hard and rather cold exterior, the inside was unlike I had even seen before. Well, keep in mind, I was also only three years old, but it was certainly something else. Maybe it was the glow of the embers in the fireplace that made it seem so… unearthly. Magical. I remember very clearly how warm that front room was; the large fireplace contained the glowing remains of what had probably been an impressive fire, bathing the room in a warm orange light. Everything else that the light did not touch was enveloped in black shadows, but I could dimly make out the shapes of soft, cushion-lined furniture, low tables, and dozens of toys littered about the rug-covered floors. Did this mean that there were other children here as well?

But I think what stood out most about that room, about the whole house, was the feeling in its walls, as if the structure had been built out of more than stone and mortar. It felt as if there was something else infused with it, something that made it feel like home almost immediately.

We went through another wooden door, into an adjacent room. This one was also heated by a smaller, dying fire, and through its light and the illumination of the moon spilling through the single large window, I could see about ten small beds lining the walls. Most of them seemed to be occupied, signified by small, shapeless mounds under the thick quilts that would occasionally sign or move in the smallest fashions.

"Here's where you'll sleep, Irvine." Matron whispered, leading me to the bed closest to the window. "Now, get some rest. You can meet the other children in the morning. They'll all be so happy that you're here." Matron helped me find a nightshirt that I could sleep in, and drew back the quilts and fluffing the pillows as I struggled to put it on. It was really hard to be well coordinated when you were falling asleep where you stood. But Matron was patient, and helped me into the bed, which was almost too big for me. The mattress was so soft that I could feel myself sinking into it for what seemed like forever. I wondered if I would ever be able to climb back out, but my own weariness washed over me as Matron tucked the quilt under my chin in a very motherly fashion. But before I let myself slip into the world of slumber, there was one question I wanted to ask.

"Matron…why am I here?"

Even in the darkness of the room, I could see a look of something flash across Matron's dark eyes… something a cross between anxiousness and intense sorrow, as if she wanted to cry without tears. A sort of sad smile appeared on her lips as she reached out to soothe my hair. "I know you want to know, honey, but not now. Not yet. You're too young to know. Someday you'll be old enough to understand. But for now… you'll like it here. I promise." With that, Matron leaned over to place a tender kiss on my forehead before rising and leaving the bedroom, leaving the door open a mere crack behind her.

I rolled over in that incredibly comfortable bed, exhausted out of my mind, but for some reason, I did not fall asleep right away. I only started out the window; even the light of the quarter moon did not do much to illuminate the world just beyond the glass, the land cloaked in darkness. The question of why I was here was turning over in my mind, repeating itself with an answer, or even a reason. True, I did not feel afraid, and I obviously didn't have any objections to being here. I was probably just confused, above everything else. But, still…

Like every child, at one time or another, I did what was expected for a kid who was alone in an uncaring world without an answer or excuse, who was totally without a clue…

I cried.

Bitter tears overflowed in my eyes, rolling down my face and soaking into the pillow under my head. Small sobs shook my body as I trembled under the warm quilt, not caring if anyone heard or even cared. It's usually difficult for a child of only three to understand what the world "alone" meant and that it applied to them, but somehow, I knew that I did not have anyone left. And, regardless of what it really meant, I still cried. Because that was the only thing that a child could really do.

But before I could let myself cry myself into the sleep that I needed, I felt something on my shoulder, shaking me gently, urging me to roll over.

"Hey…" A small voice called to me over my sobs. "Are yoo okay?"

Curious to see who it was who seemed concerned about me, I rolled over… and gasped at the sight of two huge green orbs staring down at me.

Okay, don't get me wrong, I've seen green before, even if I was born in the planes of Galbadia. I dimly recall that we had green in the house I lived in… But never before had I seen green like this before. They were the color of the new leaves of spring; bright, lush full of life that stopped my tears almost immediately. I didn't even notice the girl who they belonged too. It was also too dark to really see anything, keep in mind. "Are yoo okay?" She repeated.

"I…" Unknowingly, I felt my cheeks warm and I looked away, unable to hold contact with them for very much longer. "I'm a'wight."

"Yoo don' sound a'wight." She pressed on. "If yoo're cwying, then you can't be a'wight."

Tired and cranky from the last few days, I rolled over, pulling the quilt tightly around myself. "I said I was fine. Go 'way."

Even now, I still wonder why she didn't leave. Hyne knows how delicate children are to harsh words, but there was something about her that would not let my rejection of her concern dissuade her. Instead, she did something I would have never excepted. I felt the covers move around me, be pulled off the bed for a moment…

And a second later, I felt the warm presence of a little warm body curl up to my own, small arms wrapping around my shoulder and holding me close. "Don' be sad." The little girl said. "Please?"

It seemed as if my body acted on its own as I rolled over and accepted her warm embrace, all the sadness for that night disappearing in that one simple, innocent action.

And that was the first memory I ever had of Selphie Tilmitt.

----

To Be Continued…

-----