Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Unspeakable Feelings ❯ Unspeakable Feelings ( One-Shot )

Unspeakable Feelings

Disclaimer: Final Fantasy VII is not mine, it is owned by Square, lucky them.. Story is in first person, Tifa's perspective.

I shift, rolling onto my side as the clock over the bed that I'm sleeping in begins to make a rhythmic tic-tic, tic-tic sound. I let out a large, audible sigh as I pull the pillow over my head. How do the others sleep through the night without wondering about many things? I've always wondered that, but I have never come up with an answer, just like the other things I can't answer, just not yet.

Slowly, carefully, I sit up in bed, resting my hands besides me, on the bed, glancing around as the soft fabric of the covers shift over my legs as I move them. A low yawn escaped from me and I just caught it to muffle it. My gaze caught a sleeping form on the bed across from mine. Yes, I know it's all right to keep a secret from someone but I've been keeping so many from him, I can't tell him for fear of being rejected, I don't want that. No one wants to be rejected.

Aerith, I have a feeling she's more than just a pretty flower girl. When I'm around her I feel jealousy, because she's also around Cloud. I'm still her friend though, don't get me wrong, I've never do anything to her that would result in me being known as a murderer or anything. No, that wouldn't go right with Cloud at all, he wouldn't want anyone like that.

She's so pretty though, just the kind of girl Cloud would want. He wouldn't want me, why would he? He has Aerith, I'm just probably a fill in if anything was to happen to her. He wouldn't feel anything for me anyway, Cloud only has eyes for her. I see the way he looked at her, with a sense of longing. I hear them talking at night, on their own future, but not one that deals with both of them together, just what they want to do when everything is finally over.

Barret, our Mr. Strong-Man of the group. He's quite the guy, but when you make him mad I'd run for your life, he's not one to tamper with. He looks like someone out of those war movies, but I'm not saying it to make fun of him, Barret is a close friend of mine. He's twelve years older than I am, I guess you could say he's somewhat of a good father figure, since he's been taking care of Marlene, a pretty child.

Barret is somewhat ignorant at times, though. At first glance you'll think that he's just some powerful guy that only thinks of himself. But, really, he cares about others, especially Marlene, he won't let a thing happen to her, she's his pride and joy, even if he's not her real father. God, I love Barret so much, but he's just a friend, nothing else..

Red XIII, or should I say, Nanaki. I never knew there were talking creatures around until I met him, at the Shin-Ra headquarters. Poor creature was called a `darling specimen' by that freaky man, Hojo. He's so smart to, I guess being experimented on can do that to you, poor Nanaki. When I look at him I feel remorse for him, he's far away from his home.

I want to do something to help Nanaki, but what? The others call him Red and Aerith shows great compassion towards him, like she does to the others, even me. I want to be like her, Aerith, I want Cloud to look at me the same way he looks at her, but that'll never happen, not even if I was the last woman on Gaia..

Vincent reminds me of a vampire, somewhat. Me, Cloud, and Nanaki found him in the basement of the Shin-Ra mansion in Nibelhiem, Cloud and mine hometown. Never knew he was down there, but he is older then us. He reminds me of myself so much, from the black hair down to the red eyes. But, we're not related, that's for sure, I know my bloodline and I haven't seen a Vincent in it, yet I feel a closeness to him. I feel like I can talk to him when I want to and get whatever is bothering me off my chest. Maybe I should do that, he'd probably understand how I feel, he lost the woman he loved.

Oh boy, look.. It seems I'm getting soft just by talking about Vincent. He's so mysterious though, we only know that he's an ex-Turk and knew Hojo and Prof. Gast and fell in love with an assistant scientist named Lucrecia. I want to know more about his past, though. Maybe, in time, I'll learn, maybe he'll slowly open up and tell us about his past, but, until then, I'll let him keep to himself.

Yuffie, so obnoxious, but that's Yuffie in a nutshell. She reminds me of an energetic friend I once had, although Yuffie acts more like she's on a sugar high then anything. But she's only a teenager, so that somewhat explains why she acts the way she does.

She stole our materia once. Cid was pissed, Cloud was measly surprised, and me, I was ready to kill that brat. It took some time, effort, and battles to get the materia that I had up to what it was at. But, still, Yuffie is friend, I won't do anything harsh to a friend, just yell at her and keep her in place.

Cid, good ol' Captain, as those in Rocket Town call him. We met him after checking out the Tiny Bronco, Aerith looked attached to the plane. Shera, Cid's house-mate told us he was in the rocket, it was tilted and looked ready to fall at any moment. When we met him he told us about the time he was about to go into space and Shera messed it up for him, then he yelled at us for wanting to take the Tiny Bronco.

I'm glad Cid's in our party, he's smart, when it comes to mechanical stuff. Cid's somewhat of a bad father figure. If he ever had children, I give my prayer to those children.

I've totally passed up Cait Sith, haven't I? That annoying creature. He rides a stuffed moogle, it looks deformed though. I wonder where the moogles bon-bon is. Plus his stuffed moogle is overweight and looks about 4x the size Cait Sith is.

He IS a cute creature though, can't argue with that. Cait Sith is our comedian and fortune teller of the group. Not very good of a fighter, but I do get a good laugh from him. Even though he's a robot and works for Shin-Ra I still find him a friend and I'll do anything to protect him.

Uhh ugh.. I feel so sleepy, but I can't help but watch Cloud as he sleeps in the bed across from me. He's just perfect for anyone. He's compassionate, even if it seems he's cold, he has a big heart. I don't know what I feel for him. I have a mixed feelings and I can't really say what feeling is which anymore. Holding back feelings is bad, isn't it?

Oh well, I need to sort out my own feelings for the others, especially Vincent. Something inside of me tells me to go to him for comfort because Cloud can't do that. I want to debate with that feeling but I know, somehow, it's probably true. Cloud can't support or comfort me when the time of telling comes. Vincent has been around longer and he probably knows how to treat a woman, after all, he was in love once before.

Tic-tic, tic-tic.. The clock's sound still doesn't help me at all.

What was that? I could've sworn I saw someone watching me. Maybe it's my mind playing games on me. Maybe I need to sleep more, even thought were on a journey to find Sephiroth. Some way or another we all seem to have found a hate towards Sephiroth. I wonder how..

"Tifa.." I blink, glancing at the person sitting on my bed. His red eyes catch my gaze and the metallic claw has a small shine to it in the moonlight. I feel a blush rise to my cheeks. How long has he been there, watching me? I know this may sound corny but, Vincent is probably a man that a woman could fall in love with and then have the love returned.

"You should be asleep." The same to him, he should be sleeping. Maybe he's keeping watch over us as we stay at the inn, Vincent's like that. He's protective over others.

"Is something bothering you?" I'm surprised he said so many words to me, he's more of the quite type then the speaking but maybe he has something to say.

I smile at him, shifting, moving towards him and he only stays sitting. I knew I could feel tears welling in my eyes because I just wanted to tell him everything, everything that I've gone through in my life. I want to tell him how confused I am.

He placed his good hand on the back of my neck and pulled me up against him, surprising me so. When I felt his clawed hand begin to go through my black hair I calmed a little and closed my eyes, resting my head against his chest, my hands at my side. Having him hold me like this felt so right but something inside of me told me to get away but I just couldn't. His arm shifted, so it was around my waist but his hand stayed on my back and he continued to brush his claw through my hair.

I suddenly began to tremble in his gentle grip, my body shaking as a few crystalline tears slipped from the corners of my eyes. How much of a surprise it must be, to see a grown woman cry. A grown woman who looks so strong. I feel ashamed and embarrassed but I just began to cry into his chest. I don't know why I cried but it just began to come out.

He only acted calm and let me cry, not doing anything else but sit there, holding my close with one arm, letting my sob. His action to this deepened my feelings for him even more. No other man would probably do this for me and I knew that he was special in a way. But I couldn't stop myself from crying until he said, in a very soothing and gentle tone, "shh, Tifa, everything's going to be fine, just explain what's wrong and I'll listen."

I sniffled shifting my head, so I was looking at him, tears threatened to escape again but I wouldn't let them and I then began my story, on how I felt about everyone, how I was confused, on what I want to do, on what I don't want to do, on how I felt towards him. He listened, not saying a word as I spoke about all of this, pouring everything out to him.

He looked at me, with those haunting red eyes of his, and said, "I understand on how you feel.. The same is for me but I swore to never love another woman again." I nodded, understanding that. I always knew that I wasn't going to be able to get a man in my life. Aerith and Cloud were together, I could tell. Barret and Cid were friends, Yuffie was annoying, Cait Sith was way off of the Richter scale, and Nanaki was an animal. Vincent was the only other man I knew, besides a few at the slums.

I sighed, closing my eyes again, moving closer to him, just wanting to be held by him a little longer. "Tifa, don't worry about a thing.. The time will come when you find out what your path is, until then, just let your life live out to it's fullest." Those were the final words I heard come from him before I drifted off to sleep, in his arms, going into a dreamless sleep.

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Note: I was listening to Tifa, Who Are You?, and Vincent's Theme as I wrote this story. I'm a Tifa x Cloud fan but I'm also a Tifa x Vincent fan. Vincent and Tifa are more so close to each other then Cloud and her. Cloud seems more into Aerith then Tifa and Vincent always seems to have his eye on Tifa, well, that is, to me it looks like that. Even though Tifa has eyes for Cloud I think she has feelings for Vincent to. She's just filled with mixed emotions. ^^ Well, if you like the story send me feed back, I plan on writing another story, this time going more into a Tifa x Vincent relationship. Until next time, Ja Ne!

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