Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Until the End of Eternity, and Longer ❯ Chapter Six ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer again: it's on the first chapter, isn't it? And it still applies? Do I have to repeat myself for the umpteenth time? Well, poop. I don't own it. There, happy now? *scowls and sulks*

Okay, here's chapter six. Most of the main chars show up here, and we find out Laguna's reasoning behind not telling Irvine about his mother. Laguna seems a little ooc here, but that's half the point, so I guess it's okay.

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Chapter Six

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Squall stopped dead and blinked when he saw the figure kneeling by the statue. For some reason, he just wanted to see it again, so he and Rinoa walked in silence over the bridge. But…what was Laguna doing here? He debated for a moment whether to confront him or not when he saw the man lying a large bundle of belladonna lilies at the foot of the statue. He hadn't noticed them, even Squall felt like he was invading the man's privacy as he saw him wipe tears from his eyes with the back of his hand in the moonlight.

"Hiya Jace. It's been a long time, hasn't it? I miss you," Laguna said, his voice quivering. "You'd think, after so long, this would be easier. But what am I supposed to do. After my mom and dad died, you were all I had. I tried to move on and live a normal life. I did, but I have this habit of always taking the wrong road first. I wonder why that is. You always made doing the right thing look so easy, you know. But I've done pretty shitty at following in your footsteps. I guess I did all the right things eventually, the things that someone had to do and that there wasn't anyone else for. I never did get to become a journalist though, but I'm too old to go chasing after those silly dreams now. It's okay though, I don't mind much. I mean, I got to fall in love with a really great woman…but I lost her. I wasn't there when she died…and my son, gods he can't stand me, and it's not as if I can make up for seventeen years of not being there. I…don't know what to do…I…" he sobbed for a few moments before managing to choke out, "I'm still afraid of being alone you know. Why'd you have to leave? You promised you'd always be there. You lied to me." He wanted to say more, wanted to tell her about her son, how she'd be really proud of him, but he just broke out into sobs for a long few minutes before he could find his voice again.

Squall was horrified. He always thought his father was inept, but to see him broken like this...it just sucked. He knew he should turn around and go away, but, he couldn't move. Rinoa had long since snuck away without his noticing. But Laguna had started to speak again. "I got to meet your son again, too. You'd be so proud of him Jace. He helped save the world, and didn't even die doing it," he scolded. "It's so hard to not tell him that I knew you, that he looks like you, or that you were the best, ya know. But I know knowing your story would make him sad, so I keep my big mouth shut on the matter because you only ever wanted him to be happy…but I wonder if that's the right thing. Do I really have any right to make that decision? I liked you better when you were being bossy, at least then I got answers. But…gods…a suicide bullet? Jace, wasn't there another way? Well, I guess you didn't think so, and you always had a flair for the dramatic. It's silly, you know, but more than anything, I just wish I could hear your voice again. Not sad like it was in Deling, but happy, like those few years that you were out here in Bella Maure. I want to see you're smiling face, not just a stone replica of it. And Irvine, gods, he has your smile. He reminds me so much of you that it hurts. I want to know that wherever you are, you're happy. I know I should let you go, but it's not an easy thing to do. You were like a sister to me. You were so important. I wonder if I was anything near that to you. I shouldn't have asked you to help me out. I shouldn't have asked you to come with me. If I didn't ask, you'd still be alive. Hmph. Wrong road, like I said. Maybe I really am just as inept as Squall thinks I am. It's all my fault."

Laguna shifted, and jumped when he saw someone out of the corner of his vision. "Squall?!?" He wiped his eyes roughly. `He would have to be here to see me like this. How humiliating.' He just stared at his son, sort of horrified and also, wondering what Squall was doing in Bella Maure.

Squall had his hand resting on his hip, his head cocked to one side, his brow was furrowed as if he knew he should say something but was puzzling over what it ought to be. "You should have told him something," he said finally.

"So he could hate me as much as you do?" Laguna laughed a little bitterly. He just couldn't help it, the depression he'd been locked in the past two weeks stuck onto him and making him older than he was. Squall had never seen this side of him, didn't know it existed, and he realized, he didn't want it to exist. It was just so wrong, to see Laguna sad like this. "I'm the reason his mother died. How am I supposed to tell him that?"

"Well, he knows that you knew each other pretty well. You'll have to tell him, whether you like it or not. He wants to know everything." Squall wanted to know too. Laguna blamed himself for Jace's death. They were his words enscripted on this memorial. Squall half-wondered if Laguna was being to hard on himself, or if one of his mistakes had gone fatal. Either way, Squall found himself wanting to know.

Laguna nodded sadly, leaning back against the railing of the bridge. "She was my hero, you know. I wanted to be just like her," Laguna told him, looking up at the statue. His shoulders sagged, the moonlight casting shadows over every sign of age on his face, making him look twenty-years older than he was when he frowned. Squall couldn't remember ever seeing Laguna frown before. He looked so desolate and sad. "I really fucked up. I don't blame you for hating me," he said as he kicked off of the railing and turned his back on the young man, shoving his hands into his pockets. "I hate me," he said finally before walking away.

"I…don't hate you," Squall whispered. "I think you're a moron, but I don't hate you." But Laguna didn't hear him, and Squall didn't mean for him to. Saying that now would have sounded too much like pity, and Squall wasn't the pitying type. Laguna was just a guy who made a lot of mistakes. They both knew it. And Squall might be angry at spending his life alone when his father was alive and well, but he knew that he wouldn't feel any better about Laguna for leaving Ellone to die either. It was a bad situation and couldn't be helped. Squall looked up at the smiling face of the statue, cast now in moonlight and shadow. `What would I have done?' he wondered.

`You'd have gone after Ellone,' a voice said. Not his own, but somehow in his head. `Sure ya woulda. Because you have his kind heart. Please stop making `guni so sad, if you can help it. He really does love you, and he's the kinda person who needs to know that somebody loves him back.'

`Jace?' he thought.

`No Squall. You just want to think it's me because you hear that I was the type of person who always knew what was going on and how to make it better. But I'm dead. Understand? You and Laguna and Irvine and everyone, you'll have to be strong without my help. And you are strong, your heart is strong. Are you going to keep it locked up in there forever?'

`Figures that I'd talk to myself in the voice of someone that I've never even met,' Squall thought, and he could swear he heard a woman's laughter riding on the wind and fading away.

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okay, there's chapter six. Chapter seven will come soon. All the chars who are gonna play a substantial role are here now. I know, no Quistis. It's not that I dislike her, I just. . . didn't know what to do with her, really. She'll show up later, I guess, but sort of as a side note. Uh, guess that's all for now. Happy Haunting. ~Banshee Puppet~