Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ Until the End of Eternity, and Longer ❯ chapter eleven ( Chapter 11 )

Still don't own `em.

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"Until the End of Eternity, and Longer"

by: Banshee Puppet

Chapter Eleven

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"Jacine Donovan! Get your high-falutin' tail back in this house right this instant!" Jace's mother yelled to no avail.

The girl simply turned around, stuck out her tongue, and retreated from the scene more quickly.

Mrs. Donovan knew well enough that if she pulled that "no daughter of mine" line that was so popular among parents of seventeen year old girls these days, Jace would just leave and never come back. And after the heated discussion of Jace's wardrobe and complete lack of responsibility they just had, her mother was pretty confident that Jace would stroll in in about two days wearing someone else's clothes as if nothing happened. The thing that bothered Jace's mother was that she usually strolled in wearing boys' clothing and her cowboy hat. Jace could be such a rebel. Deling city was hardly the wild west, but she walked around with pistols, which she swore up and down weren't loaded, and a cowboy hat like she was something out of an old movie. It wasn't the hat or pistols that bothered her mother though, it was the little tiny shirts, the mini-skirts, the fishnet stockings, the high rising boots. . .the general hooker look. And Laguna wasn't much happier about it. He didn't say anything about Jace's wardrobe, per say, but he had a tendency to look her up and down, arms across his chest, and scowl. She could dress however she wanted, he was more concerned with the places she was going dressed like that. Dingy clubs with barely any light, and she'd been going to them for years. It usually ended up one of two ways, Jace escaping Laguna's line of vision and him finding her in some guy's clothing an hour or so later, or Jace and Laguna fighting, her storming off, and having her come home in some guy's clothing two days later.

Okay, so he worried. He wasn't much good at the whole big brother thing, especially since those clubs made him extremely nervous, and when he got nervous, his leg cramped up, and there wasn't really any room to work a cramp out of one's leg when you're packed in like a bunch of sardines, and the music was so loud it left his ears ringing and feeling rather fuzzy for hours after the fact, but he wasn't about to give up. He'd do his best to protect her whether she liked it or not, for as long as he could, anyway.

She'd been so stubborn lately, and didn't want to hear anything, talk about anything, so he hadn't gotten the opportunity to tell her that he'd decided to join the military and would be leaving at the end of August. She'd think it was a stupid idea. But it wasn't as if they were at war at the moment, and he would get to see the world. If he explained to her that it was just one step closer to his dream, she would understand. But he'd have to get her to speak to him first.

`She's so reckless,' Laguna thought as he looked at Mrs. Donovan and sighed. "Should I go?" he asked her.

Mrs. Donovan hugged him. "You're such a good boy, Laguna. How am I going to get along here without you? Jace is just so reckless. I'm worried that one of these days she's going to come home pregnant and have no idea who the father is. I love her, but, I just don't know what to do."

"I know Mrs. D. I'll go see what I can do. I want to talk to her anyway. She's pretty mad at me about that last time, but I think she knows that I just don't want to see her get hurt," he grabbed a denim jacket off the hook by the door and smiled as he slung it on, adding, "I really do hate those places though. They're so loud. They make me nervous."

"Ah! I see, so they make your leg cramp up, do they?"

Laguna blushed with embarrassment. "well. . .ah. . .a little," he admitted, bringing his hand up to his head and shoving some hair behind his ear as if the gesture would distract their attention from that obvious fact.

"You know, it wouldn't bother you so much if you'd get a haircut, Laguna," Mrs. Donovan teased as he shoved his too long bangs away and they tumbled right back into his face.

"Aw, I know, but if it gets a little longer, they'll stay back when I do that anyway. I kinda like it long."

"A little secret?"

"Mn?"

"Me too," she winked then slapped his back slightly. "Now get going. Go rescue your little sister."

"Yes maam!" Laguna saluted with a youthful grin and ran out the door.

"That was the night that I realized, I'd been mistaken about Jace. . .at least to a point. It was the first night I saw her sing," Laguna remembered with the first real smile he'd worn since arriving in Bella Maure.

"She was in the usual place, a little dive called Stained Glass. It seemed like such a ridiculous name for a club until Jace explained it to me. I guess I'd made fun of the name so much that she felt that I should understand the poetic significance. I still remember. . .she'd brought me into a large cathedral before dawn sat me in the back of the room where I could see sunrise through those windows. All those colors. It was the most amazing thing I'd ever seen, each color with it's own personality, all doing the same dance, and I thought. . .this is what the world is-a million different people, but they're all tied together in this cycle of living and dying. You can't see out of a stained glass window. Have you ever noticed that? But windows are made so that you can see, they're made to let the light in. A stained glass window though. . .it reflects a whole different world. The night I saw Jace sing in Stained Glass, I knew that there couldn't have been a better name for that club, not if they tried for a million years. . ."

Laguna flipped the hair from his eyes for the millionth time as he entered the club. `Maybe I should just get a haircut. Of course, that would make sense, and why should I start now?' he thought with some amount of disgust and amusement at the black strands tumbling back into his eyes with all their shaggy diffidence. But through them, he saw Jace. . .on stage. . .with a guitar. . .and she was. . .approaching the microphone. His first thought was, `oh crap. This is bad. What sort of trouble has she gotten herself into now?'

And then, she began to sing, and Laguna's jaw dropped. `I had no idea . . .' but he couldn't form a full sentence, even in his thoughts. Her voice, combined with the electric whine of the shiny blue guitar she played. . .it was some sort of crazy magic for him. `Voices like that have driven men into madness and death. A banshee, or a siren, but not a girl, there was no girl left in her when her voice rang out in this other world that she was opening up to him. Music. He'd never thought much about it actually. He supposed he liked it well enough, but after hearing someone singing the way that Jace sang, playing, the way that Jace played, with all of her heart, he understood how powerful a force a song could be. And he was more than willing to let himself drown in that force. Leaning against the back wall, he let his eyes drift closed, and smiled. `You're going to be alright, aren't you Jace? Yeah, you'll be just fine. . .because you're so stubborn. And you. . .you've found something, haven't you? Something to live for.'

When he opened his eyes, she saw him smirking at him, just for an instant before her gaze wandered elsewhere. But he knew, that simple instant, that tiny, barely there smirk that rose with the guitar riff, she'd just told him in no uncertain terms, `we're okay, you and I. Let's forgive each other and go back to the way things were.'

And with a grin that she never saw, he agreed.

"Jace and Julia, they played the same way. Their music was all emotion," Laguna noticed absentmindedly before continuing his story. "Anyway, Jace sang a few songs I guess. I sorta lost track of time after a while. Everyone loved her, when she finally got off the stage, they were pretty upset about it. . ."

Squall grabbed his temples, covering his eyes with the width of his hand.

"Squall?" Laguna asked concern obvious on his tone. He wouldn't have been able to hide it if he tried.

Squall groaned. Irvine clutched his head and said, "yer shittin' me. Now?" and both young men collapsed into sleep.

"Squall!" Laguna leapt up. "Irvine! What happened to them?!?" he nearly shrieked as he leapt up and caught Squall just in time to prevent another head on collision with the table. He noticed only now, as he caught his son, that his skin was very cold to the touch. `He's sick. It's just like him to not let anyone know.'

"Looks like it's off to the dream world again," Zell commented absently, but Laguna was putting his hand to Squall's forehead and checking his temperature, so he only vaguely heard the reply. He lifted the boy in his arms.

"He's sick," Laguna said finally. "I'm bringing him upstairs. Why don't you bring Irvine up too; dream world or no, a bed's got to be more comfortable than laying on the floor."

Selphie chuckled a bit as she tried to help Zell lift Irvine off the floor, not that Zell really needed the help, but, heck, Irvine was HER boyfriend. Leave it to Laguna to think of something that silly, `they're in someone else's consciousness in the past right now. . .probably yours. . .and you're worried if they're comfortable sleeping at the table. Sir Laguna can be so cute. . .in that, old enough to be my father, sorta way.'

The dream world picked up just about where Laguna had left off, from what Squall could tell. First, all he could see was darkness, hear a voice and morbid guitar that seemed to flood out everything else. And ever so slowly, Laguna's eyes opened and it felt like he was seeing Jace, and Irvine, both at once, and both for the very first time. And Squall could swear they were crying without tears.

She smiled at him, and then she picked up her song again, something about doing what's expected, and living, and dying for life, and he couldn't help but think this was an effigy, the memory her father left behind for her.

*He was a cold, cruel demon with a vagrant smile

And his eyes were sharp like diamonds

In this rough and tumble world.

I couldn't stay forever, daddy's little girl.

Whispers in the dark never forget their names

Whispers in the dark. Will it ever be the same

As those distant days of mild dedication

To your broken dreams?

It seems. . .that we've been lying to ourselves

And now that you're gone, I have a lot of promises to keep.*

The words were vague, drowned out under the electricity and pure atomic sound of rock music, but they were there, just under the surface, and completely unnecessary for the purpose of the song. She could have strung together a million nonsense words for all the crowd cared, they thrived on the pure gusto of the emotion pouring out of her in a stream so strong it felt like she would die from it-so pure, so endless. Emotions that were so easily written on features, like water, molding to the touch, like Irvine, and yes, like the Laguna that Squall had grown to know, and who he was secretly fond of, though he'd never tell. But Laguna heard the words, and so, Squall heard them too. He had the opportunity to hear her as Laguna heard her, for the first time, and being there, being in the presence of her when she was like that was a million times what it could ever be on that tape that they'd watched the day before. Being there. . .it felt like his soul was breaking.

Finally, she got off the stage, and Laguna pushed himself off of the wall and made his way through the uncomfortably tight crowd over to Jace. Jace was talking to a boy about her age, blondish hair and deep blue eyes, but turned when Laguna called her, "Jace!" he was a bit off to her right and had to yell to get her attention. They were packed in so tight that he was mere inches from her when he'd made it to her side. And she smiled up at him and said, "you liked my song," and she was smiling as if it meant everything in the world for her to have him there, watching, listening.

Vaguely, Laguna noticed the blonde boy staring at him, scowling deeply, arms crossing his chest, but Jace was his primary concern just now. "It was great! You didn't tell me you sang," Laguna scolded, punching her jaw lightly, playfully. "When I saw you getting up there I thought you'd lost another bet or something," he laughed.

"Nah. You don't hang around these places as often as I do without picking up a few tricks," Jace told him in an offhand sort of way. "Oh! Almost forgot. Introductions. Laguna Loire," she said, pointing to Laguna, and then gesturing toward the scowling blonde, she said "Max Kinneas. Laguna's my brother, Max," she said, by way of clarification.

The two boys eyed each other warily for a moment, Laguna trying to figure out of Max was a friend or. . .something more. . .and Max trying to decide just how much he should trust Jace's assurance that a fairly good-looking guy who lived with her and didn't share any actual blood with her as far as he knew wasn't a danger to his territory.

"Your brother huh? Then how come he's got a different last name?" Max asked finally, never taking his eyes off of the slightly older young man.

"Well, not literally my brother. We grew up together, and he lives with me and mum, has since we were little," Jace offered her answer perhaps a bit too quickly and Laguna was getting suspicious. There was something about this guy he didn't like, something dangerous in his eyes, but he wasn't going to say anything. "It's a long story. Tell you about it later?" she offered.

"Hn," Max nodded.

"Jace, can I steal you for a few?" Laguna asked finally. "There's something I've been meaning to tell you. We haven't had much chance to talk lately (`because we haven't been on speaking terms'), and it's sorta important."

She looked warily at Max and then said, "sure `guni. Just for a bit though, kay?"

This feeling, Irvine couldn't quite place what it was. Jace only voiced half of what she thought, and never seemed to bother much putting words to the rest. Her mind was just a pure bundle of emotion and it had been hard at first for Irvine to try and understand what she was thinking. Her earlier escape had been obstinance, pure stubborn condescension and the desire to do as she pleased. On the stage, there were so many emotions it felt like being drunk and drowning in that drunkenness, and he liked it. But now, this was something else, something that made her chest ache. Love, a bit, and. . .worry. But why would talking to her big brother make her worry?

They stood outside the club, Laguna leaned against the wall and shoved his hair back from his face. For a moment, Irvine saw Squall in that profile, just an instant. He knew Squall was in there, but. . .this was Laguna. He'd been in Jace enough times to know he didn't have any control over what happened. He was just a witness. But he wondered if Squall ever saw just a hint of him in the girl who's body he was now. . .visiting. He was almost grateful that Ellone was giving him this chance, whatever her reasons. He could have spent a lifetime with this woman and not know her so well as he knew her now, never have learned so much about her, what she thought, how she felt. . .like the foam of a wave breaking on the beach, over and over again, or like the beach, with the waves breaking on it, over and over again. A woman who was like the surf of the sea, so tranquil, and so violent. That was a thing that you could know a person for a thousand years and never understand, and he knew it, he could feel it.

Jace leaned against the wall beside him, wrapping her arms around her torso vaguely. "So," Laguna said finally, finding it hard to tell her this. . .this thing.

"So," she stated with just a hint of a smile in her voice.

"I. . .I'm going to be going away soon. That's what I've wanted to tell you. I enlisted in the military a little while back," he told her.

Her heart sank, `he's leaving? He's leaving!' her mind shouted. `No. Can't be. . .'guni. . .but, our promise. . .' Her insides were torn apart, but after just a brief falter of the expression, she put on a casual face and said, "why?" so softly that Laguna knew, he'd hurt her.

"I. . .you told me that I should do what I thought I needed to do to achieve my dream," Laguna said meekly. "We aren't at war right now, and I'll get to see the world. I'm nineteen, you know, should I stay in Deling City forever?" he mused softly. "I'm going to miss you, Jace. But. . .I feel like. . .I need to DO something. Have you ever felt like that? Like you're just sitting still, going nowhere. It doesn't have to be anything big, but, I think. . .it's time. Haven't you ever felt that way?"

`No,' her mind said, but also there was a hint of understanding there. `Live every day of your life, `guni. Every single day until the very end. If this is what you want, I won't stop you. I have no right to stop you. I won't even say that I need you, not once. I'll be strong.'

"How long?"

"Two months."

"A lot can happen in two months, you figure. Huh?"

"Yeah."

"Well, that's cool. I'm sure you'll have lots of fun! Don't you dare forget me though. I'll never forgive you if you do!" she said with a happy joviality that her heart couldn't replicate. Her mind just kept hitting her with the realization. `He's leaving, he's leaving. . .he's going away.'

"Not a chance! You're my favorite person in the whole world Jace, you know that. You always will be," Laguna grinned down at her, pushing himself off the wall only a moment before she did.

Looking into his eyes, she said, "I'm gonna miss you, `guni."

"I'm gonna miss you too. I'll write all the time though, just you watch. And you'd better write back!"

Unable to take it anymore, Jace wrapped her arms around Laguna and buried her head in his shoulder. `He won't see me cry. If he doesn't see it, it's like it didn't happen, right?' Just a single tear, insignificant really, but he wrapped his arms around her and said. "We're gonna be okay, Jace. Forever, remember? We promised forever. Anyway, it's late, or, early, or whatever. . .wanna go home now?"

"Ah, I'll be home tomorrow or the day after. I promised Max I'd spend some time. . .ya know, so. . .since I don't have to worry about school this weekend, I sorta figured. . ." she rubbed the back of her head in a very Laguna-like fashion, a little embarrassed.

"So that guy's your boyfriend, huh?"

"Yeah, we've been going out for a while."

`Great, that creepy guy is her boyfriend. What am I supposed to say to that? I'm not happy about it. . .'

"Well, you know, it's none of my business. . ." he started to say, and Jace's cocked eyebrow, hand on her left hip said she agreed completely, it WAS none of his business. "Just. . .ya know, be careful, okay?"

"You don't like him," she smirked, knowing Laguna all too well.

"He's got the eyes of a demon," Laguna said half-heartedly. "He's probably a good guy though. I'm just, ya know. . .being the big brother, I guess."

"Well, don't worry. You know I'm plenty strong enough to take care of myself."

"Yeah, you're right. I shouldn't think about that stuff. I'm just not gonna be around to watch your back anymore, is all, so I guess I want to make sure everything's okay before I go."

"Two months is a long time `guni. Let's not say our goodbyes just yet. Tell mom not to worry. I'm not mad. But I make my own choices. Always have. Always will."

So Laguna walked home alone again. `I seem to be doing this a lot lately,' he thought to himself. And in fact, Squall had been starting to notice a trend at this point too.

He'd been walking along absently, brushing hair from his face, when a young man, about sixteen or so stopped him. Laguna looked up, rather flustered. "Huh?" he asked, knowing the teen had asked a question, but for the life of him having no clue what it was.

"You look like a card player. Wanna play some triple triad with me?"

"You're challenging me to a card game? At. . ." Laguna looked at his watch. "Three a.m."

"If you don't wanna, it's cool," the boy said.

"Nah," Laguna grinned in that haphazard way that he had. "Just one game though, I gotta get home. Prepare to get your ass whooped. I'm great at this game," he said happily, glad to have the momentary distraction from his thoughts as he pulled a considerable deck out of the breast pocket of his denim jacket and selected the cards he'd play with, stashing the rest back in their place. "Ready when you are," he said.

Jace was heading back into the club when she met Max in the doorway, and he didn't look happy. "I've had it for the night. Let's get out of here," he said.

Nervous tension rippled down Jace's back, and she nodded dumbly as she tried to get the fairy in her head to stop yammering. It's not as if she knew what it was saying anyway, but as far as she was concerned, it had been babbling nonstop for the past hour, giving only the shortest break of maybe ten minutes as she talked with Laguna.

Laguna whistled absently as he walked home, flipping the Leviathan card over in his fingers. He did enjoy a good card game, from time to time, and it had been too long since he'd played. Jace was pretty terrible at it, so he didn't even have her to fall back on for this at least, and all his card buddies had sort of fell off in their own directions after graduation. That left the random stranger challengings, and they didn't come all too often.

He smirked at the card and tucked it into his pocket with the others, entering the house quietly and hanging the jacket by the door in the dark to try not to disturb Mrs. Donovan, who he knew was probably asleep on the couch after a valiant attempt at waiting up.

But his attempts at quiet were nearly in vain when he stubbed his toe on the stairs and took a minor spill, just barely catching himself in time. `Phew!'

Squall sighed. `Now THAT'S the Laguna I know,' he thought. `Was beginning to wonder for a little while there.'

Laguna shook his head, trying to clear it of all the rampant thoughts, cobwebs, and fairies, and doing no good on any of the above, ended up sitting in a dark kitchen with a cup of orange juice for about ten minutes before heading upstairs and going to sleep.

Slowly, and with great caution, Squall blinked awake. . .and tried to figure out where the hell he was. Lying on his back. . .the room? When he turned his head in the direction Irvine had once been, he saw the open window to his left, and when he turned it the other way, he saw Laguna's profile, slight creases around the eyes, but still looking pretty young and fit, for being the father of a seventeen year old, staring out the window.

When he heard Squall move, he looked at him.

"Better now?" he asked.

Squall nodded vaguely. "What. . .?"

"Your head almost collided with the tabletop. I. . .ah. . .well. . ." there was the hand, coming up to his head the way it always did when he was at a loss for words. "was. . .that is. . ."

"If you say worried after I went through time compression and back again, I swear I'm going to belt you one," Squall said, not knowing why he had the sudden urge to tease the older man as he slowly forced himself to sit up.

". . .concerned," Laguna pouted a bit, and Squall had to fight to keep his stoic expression. "I thought. . .you know. . .you might be more comfortable here, anyway." He turned his head to the other side of the room with a small nod. "Irvine is still out. He must have hit the floor pretty hard; his cheek is bruised," he noted thoughtfully, not having noticed it before, but figuring it was just absentmindedness on his part. He was pretty well known for that.

Max was mad, really mad. And jealous. He was jealous of Laguna, for heavens sake! Who in their right mind could EVER be jealous of a harmless guy like Laguna Loire? Jace just figured it meant he cared. And she had to admit, it felt a little good, being noticed by Max. But it wasn't really the ideal relationship and she knew it. She liked Max, loved him, even, but he was a little. . .possessive.

"YOU THINK YOU CAN GO BEHIND MY BACK LIKE THAT!?! YOU THINK I DIDN'T SEE YOU? IN HIS ARMS LIKE THAT!!!" he hollered at her, dragging her after him, fingers clutched tightly around her arm.

"Ow. Hey, Max, it's not what you think. . .come on. Let go. You're hurting me," she near whimpered. She knew it would be easy enough to fight back, to knock him on his ass, or just whack him over the head with one of her pistols and leave him stranded and unconscious. . .but it was Max. She just couldn't bring herself to fight back when it was him.

"IT'S NO MORE THAN YOU DESERVE!" he yelled again, bringing the other hand around and slapping her hard, across the cheek. "YOU'RE MINE, JACE! MINE! AND THEN YOU GO CRYING IN THE ARMS OF SOME OTHER GUY! I WON'T STAND FOR IT! I told you before. You belong to me now, FOREVER, whether you like it or not."

"I. . .I'm sorry. . .but, he's my brother."

"No. He's not. He's some guy who happens to live in the same house as you. I've made up my mind. You won't be going back there anymore."

"It's not so easy. . ."

"Sure it is. We'll get married and you'll live with me, where I can keep my eyes on you."

Irvine shuddered awake, bringing a hand up to rub what he found was a rather tender jaw. His arm, he figured, would probably be the same if he touched it, so he didn't, but he could feel the tenderness of the flesh brushing against his jacket.

Suddenly, vaguely, he realized he was sitting on a bed, Selphie looking at him with concern. Squall was sitting on the other bed, Laguna standing, pacing. He realized suddenly that Squall didn't look too dazed. They hadn't woken up at the same time this time around.

"Squall?" he asked.

In response, Squall reached into the breast pocket of his jacket, which he rarely ever used and pulled out the Leviathan card, he hadn't known it would be there, but had expected that it would, and he'd been right. "You'd better tell me," he replied.

"He. . .was really mad," Irvine said softly, fighting to keep his composure. He just wanted to go back into the past and rip the guy's throat out. It occurred to him that Laguna was probably thinking the same thing as the older man's arms crossed his chest and he scowled deeply, lines creasing his brow.

Squall looked down at the card and at Irvine's bruised cheek. "I feel like I'm raping the past," he said slowly. "And I have a feeling we've still got a ways to go."

"Can't turn back now," Irvine said, more gravely than was his customary way of dealing with things. "And I want to know, I need to, really. At this point, I'm not sure just being told will be enough." `But being there and not being able to do anything, not being able to stop it. It hurts like a tonberry knife. It hurts SO much,' was the unspoken thought in his eyes. Squall just nodded. Being inside Laguna's head, he couldn't help but be pretty fond of Jace; and also, he'd been in the same place she had, at the end. One difference, only one. . .he'd gotten to come back. And thinking about that, he wondered, just for a fraction of a moment, if maybe she was the lucky one. At the feel of Rinoa's hand on his shoulder, though, he knew that wasn't really the truth at all. "I'm fine," he whispered, for her ears only, as he tucked the card back into his pocket.

"You're a bad liar," she whispered back as discreetly as possible, considering, well, this WAS Rinoa that we're talking about here. `She's about as discreet as a ten ton anvil,' Squall thought, smirking inwardly. `And damned if I don't love her for it.' Another one for the list of things to never say aloud.

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kay, chapter eleven down. R&R, etc.