Final Fantasy - All Series Fan Fiction ❯ You're Just a Tad Too Obsessed With FFX When... ❯ You're Just a Tad Too Obsessed With FFX When... ( One-Shot )

Disclaimer: I own everything… Squaresoft belongs to me. Oh, no, don't mind this straitjacket holding me back (and making it terribly hard to type)… and say 'hi' to Breckyn and Chrys over there… yes, those nice men in white are keeping me company. Hey! Why's my room padded…?

A/N: Mwhahaha… Ethereal Fury is BAACK, so run for cover. Basically, this is just a fic that lets you know you're a bit too obsessed with Final Fantasy X. Saturated with sarcastic humor, some possible character … and no real spoilers (unless you're at the very beginning of FFX… and you shouldn't be obsessed by then). This fic comes from the success of my two similar FF8 ones… a day after I'd promised myself I wouldn't write FFX fanfiction… oh well, there goes the integrity of my ideals. These are in no particular order, just the order they popped into my completely random head. Enjoy… and please read and review when you get to the end. Flame me, praise me… do whatever. I'm a big girl, I can take it. But keep in mind it's my first, and possibly last, FFX fanfic.

Just a side note…I have the American version of FFX, so some of the things in this fic might not make sense if you haven't played the American version.

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You're Just a Tad Too Obsessed With Final Fantasy X When…

By: Ethereal Fury

1) You can actually pronounce Caladbolg without stumbling over it ten times.

2) You try to hold your breath for 40 minutes… you wake up in a hospital bed strapped to an artificial air supply.

3) You and your friends get together a Blitzball team by the name of the Zanarkand Luca Al Bhed Besaid Kilika Ronso Guado Abes Goers Psyches Aurochs Beasts Fangs Glories (yes people, as you can see, this is a combination of all Blitzball team names… hehe, you try saying that ten times now!)

4) You go out and buy green and blue contacts just to look like Yuna. Sadly, since they're disposable, one week you have left eye blue, right green, and the next it's left eye green, right blue.

5) You think purple lipstick (think Lulu) is the coolest thing, like EVER.

6) You go to the movies and the people behind you complain that your hair-carefully styled in Wakka's hook-like 'do-blocks the screen.

7) You show up in school wearing a collar-like thing like Auron's. People keep asking you if it's to keep you from licking your stitches.

8) You begin speaking in third person-Ethereal Fury admits Ethereal Fury has done that.

9) You try to convince your friends that you're from a city destroyed a thousand years ago. Unsurprisingly, the only messages on your machine are the concerned ones from your shrink wondering if you've stopped taking your medication.

10) Your mom walks in to see you attempting to heave the TV out the window. You indignantly explain that it's SO unfair-Yuna had 'Initiative' AND 'First Strike' equipped, so you TOTALLY deserved that 'Preemptive Strike' instead of being 'Ambushed' by that Great Marlboro. Sadly, she thinks a 'Great Marlboro' is some sort of joint and grounds you.

11) Your idea of a date is inviting the person over to watch the Macalania Woods FMV over and over whilst snacking on popcorn. Needless to say, your date never calls back-which is alright with you cause then you can devote your time entirely to Tidus (or Yuna).

12) You get in a Taxi and ask to be taken to Zanarkand. When the Taxi driver tells you he doesn't know where that is, you sigh in frustration and pull out a map of Spira, pointing to Zanarkand like it were the most common place. Instead, you get driven to the nearest psychiatric institution-hey! At least you don't get charged the required fare!

13) You try to marry a dead person in hopes that your crush will come rescue you. Obviously, it fails miserably.

14) You're convinced your father is an evil evil monster sent to punish your extreme use of the forbidden machina-the PS2.

15) You've really done ALL of the game's sidequests (hehe, you won't see me dodgin' 200 lightning strikes… *pauses to think* okay, I take that back. I actually had fun).

16) You actually noticed that Tidus' necklace and earring are the same symbol that shows up on his shorts, on the screen after 'Squaresoft Presents' (in other words, the black one with 'Final Fantasy X Project' on it), and tattooed on Jecht's chest, which just so happens to be the Zanarkand Abes' logo.

17) You know all the words and actions of the Macalania Woods scene.

18) And you have a special save slot just for it.

19) So you can watch it whenever-and you've done so more times than you would care to admit. (Okay, okay, I admit it... I've done the last three… *cringe*)

20) All your statements are followed by either 'ya?' or 'eh?'. Nope, this doesn't count if you're Canadian, eh? Hehe, just kidding, Canadians ROCK! I live in Canada… but sadly, Toronto people don't say 'eh?' ^__^ (watches flames come in from Canadians)

21) You try to convince your friends that that innocent-looking stuffed Pikachu on your bed actually has 'Deathstrike' equipped and casts one mean Thundaga spell.

22) You tell your little sister that storms occur when Lulu is using her Thundaga Fury Overdive, blizzards from her Blizzaga one, and typhoons because of her Waterga. You're very surprised when she fails her science test on that unit and her teacher wishes to speak with you.

23) Whenever someone annoys you, you try Doublecasting Flare on them. When that doesn't work, you try a Silence Buster. They look at you funny and quickly scurry away-FAR away.

24) You gel your hair like Seymour's. The following day at school, people flee in terror from your 'runaway bangs'.

25) You dress up like Tidus for your school's Formal. You're genuinely confused when they rip up your ticket and kick you out. But your outfit was so cool!

26) You figure out Tetsuya Nomura's apparent obsession with guys wearing midriffs-Squall from FFVIII, Tidus from FFX, Kou from The Bouncer, Sora & Riku from Kingdom Hearts, etc.

27) You suddenly denounce the use of all technology in the name of Yevon (hey! then what are you doing reading this?!)

28) Instead of 'Oh God' you say 'Good Yevon!'… or anything along those lines.

29) You learn Japanese just to understand, and sing, the lyrics to 'Suteki Da Ne'-who cares if there is an official English translation? It just doesn't sound as cool!

30) You fashion a rod out of cardboard and toilet paper rolls. Your mom walks in your attempt to summon the oh-so-cool Shiva (no pun intended, seriously) and locks you up in a padded room-away from sharp objects.

31) You got the American version of FFX (like me ^_^ yay Canada!), you imported the Japanese one and modified your PS2 for it, and you're actually excited about the June release of the PAL version-hey, who cares if you don't understand a single word? Tidus has gotta sound sexy in Spanish!

32) You use Punnett Squares to determine what Yuna & Tidus' kids will look like. Or Wakka and Lulu's. Or Rikku and Auron's (eh… though methinks his err, 'state' will probably make it hard for him to have kids).

33) You point out to your dad the difference in color of Yuna's eyes and launch into a lengthy discussion of the rarity of heterochromia (having two different eye colors… or two different colors in one eye) in humans. When you are done, you find him snoring loudly on the couch.

34) You speak Al Bhed.

35) Gah! You write it too… and read it.

36) You yawn in boredom whenever a Behemoth King appears-man, can't those Squaresoft developers make challenging monsters that don't just tickle your character's funny bones with their laughable 'Meteor' attack?

37) You know your way around the Omega Ruins with your eyes closed.

38) You actually understand Blitzball… and your idea of playing it is NOT randomly ramming the buttons (like mine is).

39) You think your girlfriend's destiny is to save the world. When you share this with her, she dumps you on the spot. You try arguing that Yuna didn't shun out Tidus when he told her he knew… and she thinks that you were cheating on her with that 'Yuna' chick, which doesn't make things better…

40) Your site, hosting a comprehensive FFX walkthrough, boasts more hits than Squaresoft's PlayOnline.com

41) You set up a help-line with the number 1-800-FANTASY. Your mom mistakes it for a porn line and promptly shuts it off. All your friends are left to figure the game out by themselves.

42) You wonder how Seymour survived in Mt. Gagazet before you kicked his sorry ass for the umpteenth time-hey, it's cold up there, ya? And he was standing awfully close to the ledge…

43)The 'Chocobo Theme' is your favorite song of the entire soundtrack.

44) Your goal in life is to become a Chocobo Knight.

45) Someone mentions 'Shelinda' and you immediately tell them it's that girl in green that runs around the game preaching about Yevon and then later on is made head of the guard at Bevelle (hehe… yup, I plead guilty to that!)

46) Hironobu Sakaguchi calls on YOU for ideas for his next Final Fantasy (which apparently isn't so final after all).

47) You actually plan to get Final Fantasy X International and play it all over, just to see the new Sphere Grid, get the Dark Aeons, and watch the 'epilogue' two years after the game (hey… I'd do that *grin*).

48) You believe the voice actors deserve Academy Awards (a.k.a. Oscars) for their performances.

49) You've written one of these fics (hehe… guess I gotta say I'm guilty of that too!).

50) You've read one of these fics (doh! Got me there too).

51) You've done one or more of the things in this fic (err… no comment)

52) You got to the end of this fic.

53) You understand the humor in all or almost all the items of this fic.

A/N 2: Man, I could keep coming up with things… but I think 53 is long Anyway, tell me what you thought-loved it, hated it, cracked you up, made you realize what an FFX freak you really are? Anything, and everything is absolutely welcomed in your review-I accept flames and praise equally. I might eventually come up with a 'sequel' so just let me know if you'd want one! Thanks y'all.

Ethereal Fury