THE ZELL DINCHT COLLECTION

WARNINGS

1) I do not own Zell, Squall, Rinoa, Irvine, Seifer, Selphie, Irvine, Quistis, or any other character I may mention from the FF8 series. I may add some more characters, which are mine. If you steal them, I probably won't find out about it. I also do not own most of the towns, monsters, etc… used in this story.

2) This was written cause Zell is the coolest character ever to be created in the FF series. This is rated NC-17 for mostly sex, but there is some language and violence.

3) This is a yaoi story. If you are offended by yaoi, or don't know what it is, I suggest you leave. You have been warned.

Ok think I got everything. Just read it and leave me some feedback. If you flame me I'll find it funny, so do whatever the hell makes you feel good.

CHAPTER 3: Ma Dincht; Zoe Guthard

Zell was shaken up, and frankly, who wouldn't. Growing up to think he was straight his whole life, Zell was confused when he enjoyed Puma's flirt. He always thought relations with another man would be disgusting, but he was turned on. "He was cute though, Zelly." He tried to push that thought from his head, but to no avail. "And so what? The garden's understanding about this sort of thing." He was right. The garden didn't care about what was your sexual preference. It was seen as, whatever makes you happy, you should pursue. The real question though, was would Ma be thrilled about Zell being attracted to another man? "There's a conversation you should try to avoid Zell." Shaking his head, Zell finally reached Balamb. It was going on 3:00, and Zell made his way to his house to start packing.

"DINCHT!" screamed a woman from inside the town's car rental.

"ZOE!" Zell turned back recognizing the voice. Zoe and Zell had been friends as little kids growing up in Balamb. They had been inseparable, and Zoe had been Zell's first crush. She had short, red, spiked hair, and big honkers (Zell's favorite part). Zoe was about 5'7 now, and about 120 pounds. Zoe was outgoing, like Selphie, but had a much better sense of humor. She was spunky, and that was half the reason Zell became interested with her. Zell still liked Zoe the last time he saw her, but unfortunately, she moved away last year to a small town on the Centra continent called Kiron. "What the hell are you doing back in Balamb!" Zell asked, shocked she was here.

"I'm taking a semester abroad. Where else would I come besides Balamb? And guess what! I'm going to go to the garden!"

"All Right. Deal." Zell exclaimed. "Come on, let's go get lunch. I'm still hungry." So Zell led Zoe to Ifrit's Pub, the local bar of Balamb. There he learned that Zoe was fine down in Centra. A man named Kiros Seagul, built the town, and formed a small garden. Not much compared to Balamb, and nothing compared to Galbadia, but it was new and still recruiting students.

"So when do you start?" Zell asked, downing a soda.

"Wednesday, until then I'm crashing up at your house. Your mom gave me your room." That soda almost came back up.

"The Hell?!? Ma knows my room is sacred. I haven't even completely moved out yet!"

"Awww Zell, I didn't do much. I just took down a couple of your posters, threw array those ugly guns, and this morning, I took a piss in the corner."

"WHAT!" Zell's eye's popped wide open, and he began to stand up.

"Sit down Zell, I'm just joking." Zoe laughed, pushing him back in his seat. Calming down, the two finished their drinks, before heading back to the Dincht residence. "So, Zell, did you find a girlfriend this year? I know you were talking about some library girl last time I was here.

"Nah…it didn't work out. She didn't live up to the Zell Dincht Standards." The blonde just shook his head and looked at the ground. He had many girlfriends before, but he could never keep it long term. His good looks attracted many women to him, but Zell wasn't the type to focus. He often forgot birthdays, anniversaries, or plans. Zell also didn't like walks in the park, romantic dinners, or cuddling at night. He'd rather be laughing with his buddies, or breaking someone's nose. The blonde formed it into a single math problem, Women+Zell=kick in the nuts. So after the library girl, Zell decided that he'd stay single for a while, until he found someone he could see spending a lot of time.

"That's too bad," Zoe frowned, but inside she knew Zell liked someone. Zoe was an expert at reading people and gathering information. It scared the crap out of Zell when he was littler, but now it was sort of comforting. Her assumption was backed by Zell often having his mind elsewhere, and she having to snap him back to reality. He also had that look in his eyes that he met someone special, but it also looked like he had a rough day at school, and Zoe knew not to push it. "Better wait until dinner." So the two arrived home, and were greeted by Ma Dincht.

"My Zelly! You're home already!" she exclaimed giving him a big hug. "You forgot to pack. I told you about that last night"

"Yeah Ma…Sorry Ma," Zell mumbled looking into the kitchen. "What are ya makin?"

"Stew. It won't be ready for a while, so go ahead and pack. We'll eat when you're done."

"Thanks Ma." Zell took up the stairs, while Zoe and Ms. Dincht exchanged hellos. Upon arriving, Zell did notice some small changes to his room. There were a couple more posters up, but his guns were still intact, and upon investigation, no urine was found in any of the four corners.

"You believe anything I say, don't you Zell?" Zoe laughed from the doorway. Zell stood up, and went to sit on his bed.

"You're the kind of girl who would do that," Zell muttered as Zoe sat down beside him.

"WHAT'S that supposed to mean?" she cried grabbing a pillow and bopping him over the head with it. They were both seventeen, and presumed to be too old for a pillow fight, yet a battle raged. Zell returned the first blow by grabbing another pillow and throwing a shot to the leg and then chest. Zoe didn't lose often though, and when all the smoke cleared, Zell was found on the floor, with Zoe sitting on his chest triumphant.

"(heave) Zoe get off! You're too fat. I can't breathe," Zell joked, breathing deeply.

"OH THAT is it." Zoe dropped the pillow, and knowing Zell was ticklish, put her hand under his shirt and started poking his stomach.

"NO!…NO!…PLEASE!…NO!…STOP!" Zell screamed, laughing hysterically.

"Working out have we?" smiled moving her hand off his stomach and onto his chest. Zell let out a sigh of relief, as Zoe moved out of his ticklish area.

"Can I do that to you once you're done?" Zell laughed. That only got him another hit in the head with a pillow.

"Zell, Zoe, time for dinner!" came Ma Dincht from downstairs. Zoe got off of the blonde and hopped downstairs. Zell stood up, rearranged his pants, and followed her. The house smelled good, and Zell sat down with Ma and Zoe at the small kitchen table.

"So, Zell how was your first day?" Ma smiled, starting the conversation.

"Good. We got our dorms and everything today. I'm right next to Squall. Remember him? He's the kid I took the SeeD test with.

"Oh yes the quiet one. Well I'm glad to see it went well. Did you see that Selphie girl? She's adorable."

"Yeah. She signed me up for some Fall Festival or something." Zell smiled, remembering his friends. Seeing how Zell was in a better mood from earlier, Zoe decided to try her luck at finding out Zell's crush was.

"Did you make any new friends today?" Zoe questioned innocently.

"No………not really. Well there was this one guy………Puma."

"Puma?" she continued to ask. "What does he look like?"

"A little shorter then me, muscular, shaved red hair, bout 135 pounds, why?"

"He sounds cute," Zoe cooed. "You'll have to introduce me"

"He wouldn't be interested in you," Zell smirked. He realized it was a mistake quickly after he said it.

"Now we're getting somewhere," Zoe thought. "Really? He hasn't even met me. Why wouldn't he like me?"

"Well………uh he's new and uh………he's busy with other people."

"Such as?" Zoe asked slurping the stew. Ma Dincht raised her head and looked curiously at Zell.

"No that's not what I mean…he's just new and lost and stuff."

"So? I will be too."

"Tch…you can fu…fricken meet him!" Zell sighed, catching himself before he swore in front of his mother.

"Does he have a girlfriend?" Zoe asked after a pause.

"No…"

"Cool…Put in a good word for me."

"Nah, I don't think he's interested in…people like you" Zell muttered, hoping his mother wasn't following I see.

"OH!" Zoe moaned. "That sucks." She paused for a second, taking a sip of her stew. "How do you know that? Did he tell you?"

"No…"

"What did he hit on you?"

"He didn't touch………um uh hit on me!" Zell corrected himself. He dropped his head to the floor, knowing he fell into Zoe's trap.

"I didn't mention anything about touching. Where did he touch you?" Zoe cried, successful in her tactics.

"Yes………I mean no………no he didn't."

"I bet you enjoyed it Zell."

"I didn't enjoy it."

Ma Dincht became suddenly aware of her son's embarrassment and looked at him curiously.

"I DIDN'T ENJOY IT," Zell yelled, returning her stare.

"Zell wants to see Puma spank his monkey," Zoe nodded towards Ma Dincht.

"Oh my, what's that?" Ma questioned.

"TCH…NO MORE! CONVERSATION'S OVER!" So the rest of dinner was held in complete silence. Zoe tried at times to talk, but Zell interrupted each attempt with a loud NO! After Zell finished his stew, he threw his bowl in the sink, and with head down, walked up to his room. Zoe quickly followed, but Zell slammed the door in her face, and locked it.

"Zell let me in," Zoe tried. "I'm sorry"

"No you're not," Zell responded, grabbing his lucky boxers and throwing them into a suitcase. "You did a hell of a good job of convincing my mom I was gay."

"No she doesn't suspect anything. She doesn't even know what spank the monkey means. Come on Zell, if you don't let me in, I'm going to get louder until your mom can hear. Seeing the sense, Zell unlocked the door, and let Zoe in. The blonde continued to pile shirts and pants into the suitcase. "I'm really sorry Zell. I didn't mean to embarrass you."

"Yes you did! What the hell was that about spanking the monkey?!?"

"It was just a joke. Your mom didn't get it anyway. No hurt done. Look Zell I'm real sorry. Here I'm on my knees. Please forgive me!"

"Hehe………I can think of something else you can do while you're down there." Zoe hit him hard in the leg making Zell limp around the room.

"I'll take that as a yes," Zoe muttered standing up. "So what do you think of this guy?

"I don't know what I think right now."

"So take your time. You're a hot guy. Puma will wait."

"Really? You think I'm hot? Would you date me?"

"I guess, if we ever got to that level. This made Zell smile, as he finished grabbing his things. It was almost 6:30, and the blonde still needed to get back to set up his dorm.

"I gotta go here. Get's dark around 8."

"Kay. I'll walk you out." So lugging his suitcase down the stairs, Zell started to head out.

"Bye Ma," he said giving her a big hug.

"Bye Zelly," Ma replied, still holding onto him. "Stop by as often as you can."

"Kay Ma." Zell broke away and headed out. Zoe followed him out, as the blonde gave a final wave to his mother. Shutting the door behind her, the two walked up the narrow street way.

"I'll be there on Wednesday Zell. Be sure to save a room for me." They walked pass the car rental, and stood under the city gates.

"I will. I'll show you around, and you can meet all my friends."

"Kay, that helps…" Zoe grabbed him in a big hug. Putting her hand back of his neck, Zoe pulled him into a slow kiss. The blonde dropped his suitcase, and just held her for a while. "Bye Zelly," she smiled pulling away. Picking up his suitcase, Zell could only wave goodbye to Zoe, as he took the road back to Balamb.