Fire Emblem Fan Fiction / Fire Emblem Fan Fiction ❯ The Test ❯ One-Shot ( Chapter 1 )

(Note: This is my first “Story Script” fic.. I usually write in Movie Script. Forgive any of my grammar Errors. That aside…. Note: This was re-edited)

 

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It was a clear day…the children (Or child rather) was playing with a new ball that Eliwood had got him, the fighters were either sharpening weapons or sharing stories.

Yes, A clear day. No fighting, no calamity, only a lovesick knight plaguing the camp.

 

 

For Erk, today was a day to catch up on his reading. Nothing like a good ol' Advanced Numbers: Calculus-Trigonometry-Geometry Vol. 2…Now if only they would be quiet… Alas, Saint Eliwood had taken it upon himself to play catch with Nils…Nils, the noisy brat who always came and looked in Erk's books for pictures…who even scribbled in them with the crayon that Bell, their tactician had given him…A vile abomination those things were…But that is another subject…And currently...“Oh! Hey! It's Erk!” `Twas the least of his worries.

 

“Nino…Um…Oh…” Come on Erk…you can do this…talk to her, she's only a girl…not some one to be afraid of...

 

“Hey Erk! What'cha readin'?” She said as she crept over his shoulder. She had never seen this book before. Maybe he had recently bought it?

 

“Nino…This one is…an advanced numbers curriculum. I'm afraid…”

 

“Oh! I understand.” She nodded. It wasn't something she was good enough at reading to read yet. “Oh, Erk! Canas taught me about the letters E and I! You know! The ones that um…um…”

 

“Nino…Would you like…to read this book?” He said, and held up a book. It was Beginners Numbers: Addition and Subtraction. It was one of the first books he had read while at Castle Wrigley

 

Nino took a step over to him She could barely read the title. “I'm um, sorry Erk. This looks a bit…advanced…”

 

“Oh, It's Okay, I understand. A Few more lessons is all you need I'm sure.” He approached her and gave the book to her. “When you can, I hope you read it. For now, just keep it.”

 

“Oh, Erk, I couldn't…”

 

“Well, Actually, It's taking up a lot of space in my collection. It's kind of big.”

 

“Knock knock.” They both looked to see who it was. “Hope I wasn't…interrupting anything.”

 

Erk sighed. Just when I get some time alone with her, He thought. “No, not at all.”

 

Canas looked at Erk with a serious look. “Say Erk…could I talk to you…privately?”

 

“Well…I was…Nino…” He was flustered. Foiled again.

 

“Oh, It's okay Erk. We can talk at supper!” She smiled and left the tent.

 

“What is it?” Erk demanded irately.

 

“Oh…I just…wanted a favor, that was all…”

 

“Just what kind of favor?” Having him in my debt doesn't seem like such a bad idea…

 

“Just…test this drink I prepared…” Canas replaced his glasses, as they had started to fall off. Too big, He guessed.

 

“…You could get some one else to do that.”

 

“Ah…they all declined…”

 

“Why can't you taste it?”

 

“Um…because…it's…unethical?”

 

“…Whatever.” Erk Waited. “Where is it?”

 

“OH! I'll be right back, I prepared it in my tent,” He said and left.

 

“Ugh…” Erk sat down and turned his book back to page 247 and began reading about polygons. Only seconds later, Canas rushed back in with a vial.

 

“Here,” he gestured. Erk grunted and stood. He snatched the vial and then looked at the liquid in it. “Um, It's not poison or anything….”

 

“…Why is it pink?” Erk questioned. Most drinks weren't usually that color…

 

“Err…Cause it's supposed to be? Oh, and be sure to drink it all.”

 

“Right…” Erk eyed it before sipping it. It tasted kind of sweet. He pretty much gulped the rest down…which he thought was uncharacteristic of him…but still, he drank it all, didn't he?

 

“Well? How's it taste?” Canas tensed, waiting for the result.

 

“It tastes really sweet…like that chewing gum that Bell gave me…”

 

“Oh, that's good.” He looked only partially relieved. Erk noticed this.

 

“Is that a bad thing?”

 

“Oh, no! That's a really good thing. Um, could you do me another favor?”

 

“Does it involve this drink?”

 

“Kind of…you see them over there?” Canas pointed out of Erk's tent to a group of girls that were chattering about something.

 

“Yeah…” Now Erk was suspicious.

 

“Could you go stand over there near them?”

 

“…Why?” What was he scheming?

 

“Please, just do it…for the sake of science…” Erk decided that since he was seemingly almost done, that he might as well. So he went over them. And he stood. Then in the next ten seconds, he felt eyes on him. Like that feeling where you know your being watched. So he turned to face the girls. Lyn, Nino, Serra, Florina and Priscilla.

 

“What?” He asked. But he got no response. They only stared at him. They started walking towards him. He took a step back. They took a step forward. He went back again. “What is it you want with me? Did Canas put you up to this?” He asked. Rotten…He never finished the thought because the next thing he knew, He was covered in girls. Girls playing with his hair, touching his cheeks, and even trying to snuggle him. He even could even catch a few comments.

 

“Erk…Your hair…it's so divine…”

 

“What beautiful eyes!”

 

“What a lovely face…”

 

Okay, THAT was unexpected. He forced his way from the grip and ran back to his tent.

 

“Wait Erk! Wait up! Come back to us, Erk!”

 

“We love you Erk!” This… is…too…strange… He thought. When he got back to his tent, the first thing he did was demand just what it was Canas had done to him.

 

“What have you done to me!?” He then noticed that the girls had caught up and were trying to enter his tent. He had used some sealing magic to keep them out. Canas shrugged.

 

“Oh, It was a potion that Sain requested. He said he needed a love potion,”

 

“A love potion? But, Why not just give it directly to him, instead of testing it on me?!”

 

“Because, well, I'd already tested it on him, and the only person it got to like him more was Nils and, and Nils kept saying he just smelt really, really good. He followed him around like a magnet, drooling. Can't figure out what it was, though…” Erk was angry. No, infuriated. Now he was Canas's guinea pig? Why him of all people!?

 

“Why me?! Couldn't you have tested it?”

 

“Err, no.”

 

“Why NOT?”

 

“Because…I didn't want to do anything bad to myself, plus, I'm married. I have no business with a love potion.”

 

“So?! You could have done some one else-“

 

“And have them go through what you're going through?” Canas simply chuckled and left the tent.

 

“Canas! C-Come back here! Hey!!” Erk paused. “CANAS! Is…Is it safe for me to leave yet?” Erk sighed. Something just had to make him hungry… “Guess I better brave the storm…” He poked his head out of his tent.

 

“ERKY-POO! YOU'VE COME BACK TO US!” They grabbed him and pulled with all their might. He was no match for their pullingness.

 

“Help! Somebody! OH GOD! MY SHIRT! OH MY--NOOOOOOOOO~”

 

~~~~~~

 

“Huh…that sounded like Erk screaming…” Hector commented. Eliwood chuckled.

 

“Not likely, Erk is the calm, collected type. In other words, He could just about be your opposite.”

 

“Hmph…Sureeee, At least I'M not Mr.GoodyTwoShoes Nils can do this Nils can do that Apologize for hitting Nils even if he DID deserve it.”

 

“Hey!”

 

“Yeah, Yeah, I know, I know, it's all so you can spend time with Ninian. What, charms not enough? Gotta be protective of her little bro' just so you can-“

 

“Hector, that's more than enough. You know that I'm only protective of Nils because he's so young and…”

 

“Helllp meee….”

 

“Hey, That DOES sound like Erk…” Eliwood turned around from the fire they had started to build.

 

“Hey, your on fire!”

 

“Okay, okay, enough sarcasm, Hector, I know I was wrong when I said it wasn't him—“

 

“No, seriously, Eliwood! You're on fire! Your cape is burning!”

 

“Huh?” Suddenly, as if on cue, he felt a tickling- no, strange- okay Fuck it, it was really hot. Some how, he just shot up in flames. He ran around screaming. “OH SAINT ELIMINE, SOMEBODY HELP ME!”

 

“Um, Uh, Oh, Uh! OH! I GOT IT!” Hector took out his canteen and filled his mouth up with it. He spat water out on Eliwood. Yeah, panic really does that to you.

 

“FUCK! IT BURNS! IT BURNS! I'M DYING! SOMEBODY HELP ME!” Now if the earlier screams hadn't attracted attention, that one did.

 

“Eeeeek! LORD ELIWOOD IS ON FIRE!”

 

“Do not worry, Lord Eliwood! For your defender Bartre, Has come to your aid!”

 

“Bartre, What are you doing? Are you really chargi- OH ELIMINE! HE'S—“ BAM! Now, Being the idiot Bartre was, not only did he serve to break some of Eliwood's ribs, but he had also caught himself on fire.

 

“Fool..” Karla put her hand to her head in disgrace. What a fool he was…

 

“Okay,” Hector stated. “Now we have two sissies running around screaming, they are both on fire and seem to not know what to do.”

 

“Stop, Drop, and Roll.” Bell the Tactician had come out of her tent. She had long brown hair, red eyes, a black chest plate and some blue jeans. Sometimes her lack of fashion-sense surprised even Kent, the simple crimson knight. It totally appalled Serra.

 

“WHAT?!” Bartre rumbled. Bell demonstrated, and they did so. Ouch, Bell seemed to forget that it only worked in grass. Wet grass. The grass they were in was dead and dry. Poor…um, everyone; the ground was on fire.

 

“Oh YEAH, that helped.”

 

“What? Works every time on TV” She said before sipping her `soda' as she had called it before trudging back into her tent. “Sorry to keep you waiting, Sain, dear!”

 

“Eww…she's with Sain? They must BOTH be desperate,” Hector mused. Okay, Now two of his friends were on fire, the ground was burning, and everyone but said friends was standing around doing get this: Nothing. Nothing at all. Eliwood and Bartre were still running around like idiots.

 

“Um, Why don't you both try jumping into that pond over there?”

 

Erk walked up to Hector. His clothes were torn(as if he'd been in some great battle) and there were kiss marks all on his face. How he had escaped from them was a mystery beyond us, but he was there. Oh, And his usually lovely hair was messed up really bad. There. Forgot that part.

 

“Erk!…ERK! what happened to you?”

 

“*Pant pant*It was…Serra…”

 

“Oh…Eww-“

 

“And Nino…And Lyn…”

 

“L-LYN!?”

 

“And Florina…And Priscilla…Canas put them under…some sort of spell…” He fell to the ground exhausted.

 

“Erk, get up! Come on buddy, get up!”

 

“There is no hope for me…I'm sorry Lord Pent…I guess I wasn't… a worthy student…after all…”

 

“Un, Erk, you aren't exactly dead…”

 

“Oh. Well that explains a lot. Like my heart still beating.” He stood up and dusted himself off. “What's going on?”

 

“Oh, They're on fire…”

 

“I can see that…” They finally found the pond and jumped in. Sadly, it was on of those very skinny but very deep ponds. Yeah…They sank to the bottom and just barely floated back up. They were both unconscious. Strangely, they didn't even suffer 1st degree burns.

 

[Later…]

 

Erk was sporting an overcoat, a hat and sunglasses. Where he got them was unknown but still…He had them. A group of girls walked by. He points in one direction, a bland look on his face from under the glasses. They run that way, while he takes off the glasses and the hat and runs in the opposite direction, silently laughing.

 

Soon, nightfall came, and the camp fire burned brightly. Almost everyone in the camp, had gathered. There was Farina, Florina, Ninian, Fiora, Bell, Sain, Kent, Lyn, Eliwood, Hector, and Bob (Just another made up name…and character; he had blue hair, strange cat ears and blue eyes. He wore a White T-shirt and some jeans (At least, they thought, he had more sense than Bell))

 

“Okay,” Started Eliwood. “We think that we should go on into Nergal's Fortress right about now and stop stalling for time.”

 

“For one,” Hector said “Karel seems to be muttering more and more often about blood so we think battle exposure would be good for him,”

 

“Plus, once we beat Nergal, we can go on and just finish this journey…of course, there is the trek back to Badon and such from there, but still,”

 

“Plus, We think that it's really suspicious that Erk refuses to come out while the girls are still here, Nino, since you seem so close to him, go check on him, okay?”

 

“Oh, okay Hector!”

 

“It's LORD Hect-“

 

“Shut it, Kent.”

 

“Sorry…”

 

“Kent is right though, it should be Lo-“

 

“Fiora, that means you too.”

 

“Sorry…” So young Nino got up and cheerily walked towards Erk's tent. But as she got closer she felt the same strange feeling that had come over her earlier come again…she wanted to be with Erk…Erk was her world…Erk was handsome…Erk was lovely…Divine…

 

 

Erk was sitting, hugging himself. His clothes were still tattered. “Can't…can't sleep…th-they'll get me at night…but…can't resist…”He closed his eyes and yawned, for the nth time that night… “Need sleep…” He crept over to his mat and went to sleep. Just as he did, the spell protecting him gave. Nino walked in…

 

Back at the camp, however, everyone was getting into a heated debate about…something. Though not as heated a debate as Hector desired (He wanted to see Eliwood on fire again) people were spazzing or what ever you call it.

 

“Enough!” Bell yelled. People stared. “Um, right. First off, I'M-“

 

“We,” Corrected Taka -Matsu(Who will be further regarder as Ta-Chan/Dono/Sama/Kun)

 

“We,” Bell continued, “are the leaders of this troupe. WE make the important decisions. First off, Nils, stop being a lazy as and do your chores from now on. Also, Eliwood, stop spending so much time in Ninian's tent. I mean, Once a week is nice and all, but come on, 3 times a day? What, you get lunch, breakfast and dinner in there?” Bell smirked while several people laughed and giggled. Ninian was blushing. Who knew some one like her could? Eliwood was a red as a beet.

 

“I agree, Tomato-Face, you need to stop thinking with what's down there, and start with what's up there-“

 

“Enough! Shut up!”

 

“Oooooh, Mr.Pheraen Noble is Pissed…”

 

“OOOOOOoooo.” Several voices.

 

“Grrr….”

 

“Calm down, Eliwood, you know they're only joking.” Hector was comforting him.

 

“Thanks Hector. You know, you really are a great frien-“

 

“But seriously man, Scronking 3 times a day? That's more `n enou-ARGH! Let….go of…my neck…I'm…..sorry…”

 

“ARRRR!”

 

“C-Calm down, Lord Eliwood! He was only kidding!” Marcus.

 

“HE- HE…HE…Hector? Oh…Um…Sorry..” He eased his grip on his friend and looked at his hands in wonder.

 

“Actually,” Hector began as he scrambled away, “ I was serious.”

 

“…”

 

“…”

 

“…[Wow! So many people are talking!]” Rath.

 

“…-Grunt-[Hey! Hello?]” Dorcas.

 

 

“…”

 

“Okay…Dismissed.” Bell.

 

Everybody approached their appropriate tents…

 

“Wonder where Nino is?” Serra's room mate was Nino, so it was obvious she would wonder where she was. (Roommate, Tentmate, same thing…) “Huh. I bet Erk was asleep when she went to go see him. He sleeps like a stone, Heh heh…”

 

[Serra's visualization]

 

“Erk? Erky dear, Wake up…” Nino poked him. “C'mon Erk! Hector wants to see you!*poke poke* Erk? Erky-poo, Wake up!”

 

[End Fantasyland]

 

“Grrr….No one calls Erk Erky-Poo But meeee!” Poor Serra…How she arrive to such a conclusion is beyond us, but who gives a damn(she's a dumbitch)…So she went on a trek to his tent. Then it happened…Erk is god…Erk is Master…Erk is King…Worship Erk…Love Erk…In a complete trance, She stepped inside of Erk's tent.

 

“Huh? Wonder what she's doing? Ah well, No matter.” Nils, was still waiting for Erk to come and read his Bedtime story(He just COULDN'T sleep without one) sat on a rock near the tent in his pajamas perfecting his flute skill.

 

About 8 hours later, Somewhere around 6:00 Am

 

Nils still sat on the rock, perfecting his flute. His eyes were red, and it looked like he was on drugs. Plus, His skin was wrinkled. After he finally got it perfect, he sighed and hugged it.

 

“Flute Friend…Friend with flute…Sleepy…but…need story….ergh…”

 

Meanwhile, In Erk's tent.

 

“Yawn…I guess nothing happened tonight…I hope the potion wore off…Oh, I feel weird…Like I'm under someone…” Erk opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was Green hair. This made him WANT to scream. he then saw pink hair. This made him wretch.

 

Hector's Tent.

 

“Eeeeeeeeeek!”

 

“Blast! What the hell is that noise?”

 

Ninian's Tent

 

“Eeeeeeeeeek!”

 

Eliwood groggily wiped the sleep from his eyes. “When did we get a rooster?” He pondered.

 

Ninian mimicked him from her position next to him. “Sounds more like a scream to me,” She commented.

 

Other Tents

 

“Eeeeeeeeeek!”

 

Various moans and grunts of confusion.

 

Rock.

 

“Who's screaming like a girl? Sounds like Erk. I better check if he's okay!” Nils shot up, energetic as ever and ran towards Erk's Tent. When he got to it, and opened it, His jaw dropped.

 

“Oh, Nils! Go! This is not for yonder eyes!” Oh, Why did the BOTH of them have to be heavy sleepers in general? He struggled from under them when Nils left. Let's let him be for now…

 

Later that day: packing and getting ready to destroy What's his ugly-assed-face(as Bell had put it)

 

Erk had Canas in a headlock.

 

“Just how long does it last?!”

 

“Just that one day!”

 

“You'd better be sure…” Nino walked by.

 

“Oh, hi Erk!”

 

“Um, hi, Nino…”

 

“Say Erk, you and Uncle Canas play wrestling?”

 

“N- Yes. We're playing. And isn't he lucky…” Canas Nodded.

 

“I-I'm lucky, I'm lucky! Now let me go! Before you break my spectacles!”

 

“Right.” Erk released his grip. “You owe me.” He went off to Nino. “Listen, um, Nino…would you like to spend some more alone time with…me?”

 

“Sure!” Being alone with Erk made Nino happy. Erk appreciated her. Erk respected her. Erk liked her. She liked Erk back.

 

“Awww… Lookit the little kiddies walking off hand in hand,” Said Bartre. “I remember now, once a while ago I did that with-“

 

“Shut UP you blundering FOOL!” Karla smacked him with a fan. Meanwhile…

 

Eliwood was trying to pack the wood. Sadly, his intelligence seemed to failed him that day. You see, the fire was never put out, and thus when he tried to pack it, he was set aflame. Again.

 

 

The end.