Fire Emblem Fan Fiction ❯ Fire Emblem: POR~Funny That ❯ Funny That 2: Titania's Torture Time ( Chapter 2 )

Fire Emblem: Path Of Radiance~Funny That

Genre: Romance/Humour/Drama

Pairings: Ike+Elincia. Slight Ranulf+Lethe

 

I haven't done a Fire emblem fic before, so I just figured, hey, why not?

Disclaimer: Ha! I'm gonna get sick of saying this eventually, but I don't own Fire emblem POR or any other fire emblem for that matter.

 

Funny That 2: Titania's Torture Time

Four were sitting down around a table, where one empty seat remained. Gulping, the blue haired lord scratched the back of his head tentatively. Mist was trying her hardest not to giggle away at her brother's side as he was going through a difficult time, but when Stefan burst out laughing, she soon followed. He scowled, shooting them a glare so frightful it prevented Rolf from joining in with the merriment, yet Stefan and Mist paid no heed to it. Ike dropped his head into his hands.

 

“What did I do to deserve this?”

 

“For being dense and hopeless at romance.” Stefan answered blatantly, earning yet another glare from Ike. Actually, the blue haired did not know why he even bothered glaring at the swordmaster. It was a waste of muscle movement and energy. The results were always fruitless and usually seeing the glares made Stefan's humour levels ascend and for the New world, that was not good…

 

“So Ike, why do you think Titania is so late?” Mist piped up.

 

Her older brother screwed up his face and rolled his eyes.

 

“I bet she's making up some plans for the lessons.”

 

“Lucky you.”

 

“Yup. Lucky me.”

 

“You're great in the area of sarcasm Ike boy. At least that's one thing we don't have to work on.”

 

“It's rude to butt into conversations Stefan.” The lord grumbled in response. As perusal, Stefan only grinned widely at his `student'

 

Birds chirped loudly. Titania was still not here. Ike just wanted his torture to commence so he could get it over with.

 

The birds started circling Crimea's castle. Titania had not arrived. Ike was getting flustered.

 

The birds landed upon the grass where Elincia was outside with Andrew. Titania was not present. Ike was getting very frustrated.

 

The birds flew around where Elincia and Andrew were standing and he standing next to her. Titania must have been painting a picture of the scene or something. Ike was pissed.

 

Andrew smirked at Elincia, grabbing her hand. She looked up at him, surprised and clearly uncomfortable. Stefan was amused as Ike stood up abruptly, seething through his teeth at the happenings outside the window. It was taking all his restrain not to jump out the window and tear Andrew the Snobby to pieces.

 

Elincia, getting very uncomfortable, glanced upwards and her eyes widened to find Ike glowered at her or rather…her and Andrew. She blushed timidly. Was he jealous? Or was it him worrying for her again? He had made it clear the previous night he didn't think too highly of the prince. She sighed and Andrew's grip tightened. Feeling incredibly unsettled, she snapped their hand contact to point at the sky.

 

“Look Prince Andrew. It's a…a…snobby beautiful princess.”

 

The prince's ears must have twitched as he followed the Queen's arm, drool flowing from his mouth.

 

“Where!” He exclaimed.

 

He glanced around frantically, but could see know snobby beautiful princess'. He moaned miserably, before he flipped his hair, giving a `dazzling' grin. “Oh well, at least you are here my dear Elincia.” He stated.

 

Silence.

 

A guard coughed.

 

A bunny hopped by.

 

Blinking, the prince turned on his heel to find no sign of any green haired Queen. He groaned again, before his short lived misery was replaced by the entrance of a peasant. He grinned and wiggled his brows suggestively, before prancing over to her.

 

After seeing that Elincia had purposely escaped by prying on Andrew the snob's main weakness, he felt relief circulate his veins. He calmed down and seated himself again, getting interested glances from Rolf. He gave Boyd and Oscar's younger bow wielding brother a confused side ward glance, brow arched in the same manner. Rolf chuckled, smiling meekly.

 

“What is it Rolf?” He questioned, curiosity creeping into his tone. Mist noted the unease in Rolf's expression, yet had no idea what he was attempting to ask Ike. Stefan was as just as speculating and unsure, waiting for the young boy to speak his mind. Scrunching up his nose slightly, strands of his blondish green hair fell across his face.

 

“Well um…why do you…you know…get so angry when Andrew is around Queen Elincia?”

 

Ike's brows burrowed and he frowned darkly. Rolf gulped slightly and Mist rolled her eyes at her best friend, before a big grin graced her features. It was rather Stefan like actually. That pointed to the fact he was rubbing off on her. Ike really had to separate them…

 

“Because he gets jealous!” Mist supplied helpfully, ignoring the way Ike glowered at her for being so loud. Rolf glanced at Ike thoughtfully, before turning back to Mist, puzzlement written on his face.

 

“Oh, so he loves Elincia. Not just a crush?”

 

“Where have you been the past day Rolf?”

 

“Well, one time I was with Boyd and Oscar, around about two pm or something…”

 

“I didn't mean it like that…”

 

“Where is Titania?” Stefan grumbled, crossing his arms and pouting like a child, “I need my daily dose of seeing Ike act weird and laughing.”

 

Two intrigued and one furious look were cast to him. Stefan quickly gave them a somewhat cheery but unregretful grin. “You know I was kidding right? I meant I needed my daily dose of Titania tutoring Ike and then him acting weird and getting it wrong and then laughing.”

 

Ike opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, the heavy wooden door swung open, revealing a breathless Titania. She glanced at them all sceptically, before she frowned.

 

“Why are you here so early?”

 

Ike stood up again, gritting his teeth.

 

“What do you mean? You're at least half an hour late. Its half twelve!”

 

Titania blinked confusedly at him, before her gaze became half lidded.

 

“Actually, I was early. The time according to Soren is 12: 25 and the lesson started at twelve thirty according to Stefan. I rushed here because I had to set everything up.”

 

Four pairs of eyes landed on Stefan who rubbed the back of his head, grinning at all four of them, grin unfaltering by the death glare of Ike.

 

“My bad?”

 

FUNNY THAT 2: TITANIA'S TORTURE TIME

 

Lethe grumbled, her hand smacking against her face. Her whiskers twitched as she watched the tension between two members. Soren and Ranulf were glaring each other down and it was only a matter of time before the stupid predicament became even stupider when they opened their mouths to stupidly exchange stupid words. Well, Ranulf had commented on Soren's fashion sense, calling him a gothic mage. He wasn't actually fuming because of the gothic claim, but because he had been called mage. He was a sage! How dare anyone mistake that! So, Soren had snapped back that Ranulf had blunt teeth and so…go figure…

 

Soren opened his mouth.

 

Ooh, it was coming…

 

Ranulf bared his fangs.

 

Nearly there…

 

Ranulf opened his mouth.

 

Hurry the hell up…

 

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?” They both chorused.

 

Ah, so after ten minutes after anything was said, that was said. Wow, men and their means to blow off steam…

 

Lethe, to prevent herself from causing bloodshed, opted to disappear into the shadows a bit, until the calamity had by passed, like any sanity had at the moment…

 

Everyone except Soren and Ranulf were teaming up to help Ike become a romance worthy man. She was dreading her lesson with Ike. What the heck did she know about romance and all that soppy rubbish? She figured she could just tell him to go and tell Elincia or she'd snap his fragile beorc neck. Yeah…that would work.

 

“I AM A SAGE!”

 

“MY TEETH ARE NOT BLUNT YOU BAKA MAGE!”

 

“I. AM. A. SAGE!”

 

Lethe had received a beorc book from Mia. The peppy beorc had told Lethe to read it whenever she wanted to calm down. Normally, she wouldn't give a damn about the book, but Mia's voice kept ringing through her head, so giving in, she settled herself down and began to read.

 

“MY TEETH ARE SO SHARP THEY'RE SOMEHOW SHARPER THAN YOUR TONGUE!”

 

“TONGUES ARE NOT SHARP! YOU ARE MAKING ME ANGRY! I DON'T USUALLY YELL SUB-HUMAN!”

 

“SUB-HUMAN? WHY YOU LITTLE PUNY HUMAN! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO YELL, THEN DON'T YELL! OH AND FOR FUTURE REFERENCE, `SHARPER THAN YOUR TONGUE' IS JUST AN EXPRESSION!”

 

“DON'T BLAME ME FOR GETTING CONFUSED ON YOUR ANIMALISTIC WAYS!”

 

The book Lethe was going to read was called…The Bickering Of A Sage And A Cat Laguz; A Parody.

 

Lethe rolled her eyes. Some things were just too clichéd.

 

“BAKA MAGE!”

 

“SAGE! YOU…”

 

Lethe opened the book and began reading the first page.

 

A sage with long black hair and a red gem in the middle of his forehead woke up one sunny morning. After getting up, he went downstairs for breakfast. There he met his laguz companion, who was of the cat species. Now, you see, this Sage liked to wear black and stuff, so the laguz companion called him a gothic mage. Now, the sage with long black hair was unfathomably fuming of the highest degree so much so his face was red. In English, this means…he was pissed. Not because of the gothic remark, but because he was a sage and hated people who got that wrong, so he suddenly hated his laguz companion and then remade a witty remark about his laguz companions' teeth being blunt. They stared at each other for ages, before at the same time they both yelled angrily the words:

 

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

 

Lethe rolled her eyes. This was getting a bit too confusing. So, she slammed the book shut and left it to lye upon the floor, discarded. As she was leaning against a wall, she closed her eyes and tried to doze off, welcoming the silence. This lasted for about 2 sec-

 

“YOU…WHAT?”

 

Ah well, actually less than two seconds.

 

Males could really be loud.

 

And this did not exactly please Lethe.

 

The female cat Laguz groaned and clamped her hands over her ears as the ranting between the two got even louder. Why wouldn't they get a sore throat and just leave the argument on a staring level? This had to be the record for the loudest argument in the universe. The castle was probably shaking from their tones.

 

“I AM A..!”

 

“(Ranulf inserts fingers into ears) BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!”

 

“WHAT? STOP WITH YOUR CHILDISH BEHAVIOUR!”

 

“ME CHILDISH BEHAVIOUR? YOU'RE THE ONE SCREAMING!”

 

“Y'know, there's a lesson going on over there.” Mia cut in, pointing to the room which five others were in. Ranulf and Soren closed their mouths and gawked at the room. Ranulf then ran his claws through his hair and inhaled a large portion of air, before exhaling it. “Right, right. I'm a cool guy who isn't meant to lose my cool, so I suppose I'd better calm down.”

 

“Hai and I am not one to raise my voice. Apologies laguz companion. I have just been rather flustered at the idiot ness of some people.” Ranulf paid no attention when Soren's eyes drifted to the heavy looking wooden door. Ranulf smiled and patted Soren on the shoulder.

 

“No hard feelings eh?”

 

Soren flinched slightly from the contact, before he nodded curtly, shrugging Ranulf's hand off his shoulder. Ranulf grinned this time, before he noticed Lethe sitting in the corner with a book in her hands. She dropped her hand so the book dangled and rolled her eyes. Rather intrigued at why she was reading beorc written things, he made his way over to her, settling himself down beside her.

 

“What?” She questioned shortly, eyeing him suspiciously.

 

“Nothing much. Just came to see ya. Don't like you sitting alone.” He put his arm around her neck, but Lethe also shrugged that off, glaring venomously at him. Silence took hold, before Lethe decided to get into conversation as she was horribly bored.

 

“So, you do not like me sitting alone, yet you do not mind deafening me by your own voice?” She enquired in an uninterested tone. Ranulf sweat dropped, before placing his arm around her neck again.

 

“Sorry about that. Didn't intend to hurt your ear drums.”

 

“That is good, but may I suggest something Ranulf?”

 

“Heh? Oh sure, go on…”

 

“If you do not move that arm of yours, I will box in your ear drums.”

 

Reluctantly, his arm fell back to his side and nodding, Lethe resumed reading the odd book. Ranulf eyed it curiously and noting this, Lethe found herself glowering at him. “What is it?”

 

“Oh right. What'cha reading?”

 

“A novel.”

 

“A book.”

 

“Humph…”

 

“What's it about?”

 

“Us…”

 

“Eh?”

 

Lethe handed him the large book and blinking, Ranulf stared at the page she was reading. The book was about three pages in and there was a coloured sketch of Ranulf sitting next to Lethe, who was holding a book and saying; “A novel.”

 

He stared wide eyed at it, before Lethe snatched it off him. He shifted closer to her, so he could see the book better and turned the pages back, to see a picture of he and Soren arguing, with the exact same dialogue that had been exchanged. He turned it back to the previous page and turned his attention to the next page to find it was only half full. He went to the next, next page, to find it completely blank. “Lethe, what on earth..?”

 

“It seems to write down what is happening when the holder is in the area. I will have to ask Mia, as I got this from her. The title was; The Bickering Of A Sage And A Cat Laguz; A Parody, but now it is; The Confusion Of The Two Cat Lov…” Lethe blushing, switched the positioning of the book around, so the back was facing upwards. Ranulf blinked at her.

 

“What's the new title?”

 

“I um ah…have to go Ranulf. I will see you later.” She replied hurriedly, gathering the book in her arms and running off at a quick speed. Ranulf stared on after her, confusion adorning his features, before it was graced with realisation and sympathy.

 

“See? I told her that milk was expired.”

 

Funny That 2: Titania's Torture Time

 

Ike was pinched by his sister when he began to doze off. He glared daggers at Mist, who smiled sweetly back. Rolf, Mist and Stefan had randomly been dragged into the actual lesson by sensei Titania and they weren't too happy. So, Rolf and Stefan were exchanging notes, giggling away in the background.

 

Ike's hair is blue

Rolf

 

Yes, I know. Isn't it funny?

Stefan

 

You giggle like a girl

Rolf

 

So do you

Stefan

 

Titania's narrowing her eyes at us

Rolf

 

Hee, hee…eh? What'dya mean?

Stefan

 

“Give me that!” Titania barked, not allowing Rolf to object as she snatched up three folded pieces of paper from his desk. She read them, brow arching upwards somewhere in reading the second one, before she smirked at Rolf and Stefan. “Passing notes in class? You two have no discipline.” Rolf and Stefan paled, though Stefan bravely put his hand up. Titania glowered at him. “Yes Stefan?”

 

“Titania, we aren't…”

 

“Sensei Titania!”

 

“Meant to even be in this lesson. Its for Ike. We're not the ones who love Queens, now are we?”

 

“Well actually,” Rolf spoke up, twiddling his thumbs and blushing faintly, “I think she's really pretty…”

 

At this Mist whacked Rolf on the head, before crossing her arms and pouting. Ike had turned to face Rolf and as they were oppositely seated upon the table, half of his face being under the table, the lord stared him down. Rolf sweat dropped.

 

“Now listen class. When a girl asks for something, you do it. Got that? Good.”

 

Mist's hand shot up. Sighing, Titania picked her out.

 

“Yes Mist?”

 

“Sensei Titania? Why am I here? I am a girl. Why can't I just watc…”

 

“You are for demonstration purposes dear.”

 

“Say wha…”

 

“Ah Mist, you volunteered to be the dummy…ah, I mean lovely student who demonstrates.”

 

“Huh?”

 

At that point, Mist realised her hand was still lingering in the air and that she had never lowered it. Affronted and alarmed, she gawked at Titania, sweat gathering down her face. “But Sensei Titania! I have stage frigh…”

 

“There's no stage. There, problem solved. Now get up here.”

 

Gulping and nodding briskly, Mist got up from her seat, waltzing over to the front of the `classroom.' Stefan was also memorising the fact he should never give Titania the ability to order around as a teacher again when feminine issues were involved. It was going to be a good long set of minutes which seemed like a day each…

 

“So um…what do I do sensei Titania?”

 

Titania gaped at her, surprise evident, before her eyes narrowed again in the `madam' way.

 

“Mist! Have you not done your revision?”

 

“Huh?”

 

Mist was getting freaked out now. She was beginning to think some remaining Daein fools had kidnapped the real Titania and in a revenge plot cloned her somehow and sent the clone to annoy them for eternity. Or maybe it was the milk she had Lethe had drank the other day. Surely it was a good few days over expiring…

 

“Well, I'm not going to prompt Mist. Its not my fault you didn't study how to act womanly when I assigned you it.”

 

“But…”

 

“NO buts young lady.”

 

“However…”

 

“DON'T get smart with me.”

 

“Um, well…” Mist scuffed the floor with her foot, glancing around the room. While she was fidgeting, Ike was still giving Rolf that leer and he was still sweat dropping, while Stefan was ticking things on a piece of paper. This piece of paper was a list of how the lessons went. When he was there, he would not intimately be associated with the lesson, but would watch and tick the boxes if that thing had been involved. Each lesson had their own set. But, things had not gone according to plan…

 

He had been drawn into the lesson along with three children…

 

Yes, Ike was practically a young adult, but he was now glaring at a twelve year old boy growling because he had called his romantic interest pretty…

 

So, resuming, he was stuck in a classroom with a very strict teacher and three children. If that wasn't a joy he was getting restless himself. He felt sympathetic for Mist as she was probably the most mature of the children and she, scared of performing such things in front of people, was glad they were not paying attention. Though, Mist felt the hairs on her neck rise as Titania's eyes narrowed slower and slower until they were slits.

 

Stefan sighed and brought the paper closer to him.

 

Box one stated: Did she talk about girls needs? A tick followed that. She definitely did…

 

Box two stated: Did she make it a productive lesson? A line signifying the answer was inconclusive. It depended on what you meant by productive…

 

Box three stated: Was Stefan happy? A large cross. Hell no…

 

“STEFAN!” A voice snapped, causing him to fumble and fall forwards, hand that was pressed upon the paper slipping and sending it flying into Titania's hair. Sweat rolling down in layers, Stefan gawked as Titania studied him suspiciously, before shrugging and returning to her spot. Tired of Mist and her silence, Titania ushered the young girl towards her, who stumbled awkwardly to her. Titania brought out a sheet of paper and Mist blinked. She handed it to Mist and it appeared to be a paper listing the lesson objectives and who achieved what. The paper was graded and at the top corner of the paper there was a large black F coloured in. Mist gaped at it.

 

“WHAT? You gave me an F…”

 

“Stefan, get up here!” Titania called.

 

The green haired swordmaster wasted no time and basically materialised by her side. She was looking for his paper while he kept looking at the paper in her hair. He had to get that back. If she saw that, all hell would break loose. He reached for it, getting closer. One more little movement…

 

“Sensei Titania! Look! Stefan's being naughty!” Rolf exclaimed.

 

Titania whipped her head around, to find Stefan's hand in her hair, grasping something. She scowled darkly, before he let go and moved back, the paper still clear in the sunlight.

 

“I don't know why you did that Stefan, but it was childish. It definitely didn't assist your grade.”

 

“Teacher's pet the Rolfy Snitch.” Stefan uttered, casting Rolf a glare, who crossed his arms and grinned smugly. Ooh, did that boy have an attitude. Innocent little boy…pah. What a backstabbing little traitor…

 

Stefan's eyes bulged out at what grade he received. Surely that wasn't even a grade?

 

“- - - - - F? Wow, that's quite an achievement Stefan.” Mist remarked.

 

“Ike. Up here.”

 

The blue lord appeared next to her and with no problems he got his paper. When he read the grade, his beaming face lit up the room and a very Shinon smirk graced his features. He held up the paper for all to see.

 

“Read it and weep. C+.”

 

While he gloated, Rolf was getting his grade from Titania. Rolf read it and gave a simple small smile.

 

“Oh cool. I got an A+.”

 

Everyone face vaulted.

 

“NANI?” They all bellowed, while Rolf's smile widened.

 

Stefan pointed at him accusingly, red in the face from anger.

 

“You only got that from snitching on me you little baka!”

 

Rolf's smile was wiped off as panic welcomed its presence. Rolf began to leg it, wrenching the oak door open and making his way down the hall, pushing past guards who did not think too highly of this. Though, when Stefan came hammering down the corridor after him, he bumped into the guards which had, against her will mind you, drawn a picture of Queen Elincia. Ike, after hearing this, got red in the face from anger also. Then Mist recalled Rolf had called Elincia pretty and got red in the face from anger also. The brother sister duo was then formed as they set out after the other two.

 

Titania was left alone in the `classroom.' She stretched her arms and yawned.

 

“Wow, children are hard to teach.”

 

“OH GOD ITS IKE! HE'S GONE MENTAL!” Was heard, courtesy of Stefan, though Titania chose to ignore it.

 

After sitting there, regaining her breath from the hard tutoring she had done and piece of paper floated down from nowhere. Titania blinked curiously, picking the paper up and reading it. After a few seconds she lowered it and glared at the door, left eyebrow twitching, mouth open angrily.

 

“Stefan…”

 

And as you expected, Titania did the completely adult thing to do, proving she was indeed an adult. Put him on her `kill' list and join the chase. Yep, Stefan was getting chased by his sensei and his peer.

 

Funny that.

 

Funny That 2: Titania's Torture Time

 

End

Tsuzuku

A/N: Um…I always figured Titania would be a good teacher when it came to female needs, so…yeah.

 

See ya next chappie.

 

Boyd's lesson next.

 

I'm sure Ike can't wait.