Fire Emblem Fan Fiction ❯ The Lesson ❯ The Lesson ( Chapter 1 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

A/N: Hello, my name is Shorea Tashinnaku and this is my first parody songfic so please be gentle to me. Please note that this is a parody songfic and not an actually songfic; you'll see what I meant when you read the songfic. Also, I want to apologize if there are any grammar errors in this songfic. Now besides that, I like to dedicate this songfic to a certain guild from Gaia for giving me the inspiration to write this songfic from a thread that had been long gone. I also like to dedicate this songfic to Nomad Rath for trying his best to help me with the lyric. Rath, without your help and giving me the motivation to finish this lyric, I would be banging my head with a demo pad crying and trying to figure out what to write in the lyric. Now without further ado, your songfic.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fire Emblem nor Lou Bega's song, Mambo No. 5. However, I do have the rights to own the lyric since I wrote it out of inspiration and parody.
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It was a starless night and the war was about to come to its end. An owl was heard hooting in the night as the gentle breeze blew throughout the forest. One day ago, Lord Eliwood and his troops had arrived to the Dreaded Isle and they had decided to camp out in the forest for tonight. The units were resting inside their tents, dreaming about their families, friends, and their countries in their glorious day. In the center of the camp was a campfire blazing its fiery glow as if it was dancing.

Suddenly, the footsteps were heard not too far from the camp. As each footstep was stepping, the sound of the dried leaves and grass made a crack. And as each move was taken, the sound of the armor made a clanging noise but not loud enough to wake the campers up. When reaching the campfire, the footsteps suddenly ceased along with the clanging noise of the armor. Then, came a loud yawn.

“Oh man, this is boring,” Sain yawned as he sat down on the nearest log and leaned against his lance. Sain was on a night duty to be their watchman. So far, there were no enemies approaching and no one to talk to; it was a dull night for Sain. The young brown-haired cavalier let out a long sigh before looking up into the sky to see no stars. With no stars to gaze, life could get really boring. Sain let out a complaining groan when he heard footsteps coming from behind.

“Who's there?” Sain demanded as he got up, turned around, and raised his lance. It wasn't long until he heard a familiar voice.

“It's me, Sain.” The figure answered as he approached the light of the campfire. The brown-haired cavalier let out a smile as he lowered his weapon.

“Kent, what a splendid surprise! And what brings you to this peaceful night?”

“It's my turn to take the night post, Sain. You can go and rest. We need the strength to be prepared for the battle.”

“Yes Mother, I'll rest up. And once this war is over, we can go back to Caelin to throw a magnificent party with the beautiful lasses we-”

“Sain, enough of your foolishness.” Kent warned sternly.

The brown-haired cavalier gave a small pout. “Aw Kent, don't tell me you don't want to socialize with the women. Not after all the lessons I've taught you about courtship.”

There was a hint of blush upon Kent's cheeks as he looked at the opposite direction, avoiding his partner's eyes. The orange-haired cavalier confessed. “To be honest Sain, I've forgotten about your lessons.”

“What! You've forgotten my lesson!” Sain shouted surprisingly.

“Yes Sain, I've forgotten. After all, with the war we have to battle and the welfare of Lady Lyndis and the other lords, I don't think that I have the time to learn about courtship while we have a burden upon our shoulders.”

“But my dear friend, what will you do after the war?” The brown-haired cavalier questioned.

“Well, I guess I would go back to Caelin and fulfill my duty as a knight.”

“But don't you ever plan of settling down? Bear an heir to take your place? Snuggle with your-”

“Sain, hold your tongue! You know we don't have time for this foolishness while we are in the mist of this battle.”

“Ah, but my dear friend, we do have enough time.” Sain smiled. The brown-haired cavalier sat down again and motioned Kent to sit next to him. Unsured of what his partner was up to, the orange-haired cavalier slowly sat next to him. Sain explained.

“Well, since you've had forgotten about courtship, I guess we're back to square one. Now I would help you refresh your memory but I'm afraid you will forget again due to this terrible situation we're in.”

“Yes, you're maybe right. We are in a terrible was, but that does not mean that we-”

“Ah, but Kent. This is the perfect opportunity to learn about courtship. After all, the war is coming to an end, right?” Sain questioned.

“Well… That is true, but-”

“Fear not, I will help you learn courtship again by a different strategy.” Sain interrupted.

“Different strategy? Just what are you planning?” Kent asked sternly.

“Why, by singing.” Sain replied.

“Singing!” Kent surprising asked.

The brown-haired cavalier smiled. “Yes, singing. I've learned it from a minstrel while we were in Badon. Now from what the minstrel told me, he told me that if the song was good and catchy, you can easily remember the lyric of the song.”

“Is that so?”

“Yup, and I know a perfect tune to go with it.”

“Well, that's good to know. But I still insist that-” However, Kent was interrupted when Sain got up and sang.

“One, two, three, four, five,

Every woman in Lycia is so divine.

They are gorgeous and intelligent,

So they must be St. Elimine's descendants.

And from what I see,

Kent, you are so up tight.

It's no wonder why you can't flirt it right.

You're too serious, virtuous, dutiful, and boring

And if you continue, you will find them snoring.”

“Now look, Sain. Just because I take my duty seriously, doesn't mean that I'm-” However, Sain interrupted him again as Kent tried to defend himself.

“So just loosen up, and listen to me carefully

As I tell you about flattery.

And once you will get a hang of it,

You'll be a babe magnet.”

Sain was so into the tune that he began to dance around the campfire.

“Rebecca with her dazzling smile

She melts your cold heart within a mile.

Priscilla, she's so sweet and kind,

But let's not forget that she's so fine.”

“Sain, I appreciate your help about the courtship, but what do Rebecca and Priscilla has to do with this?” Kent questioned. Unfortunately, the brown-haired cavalier didn't listen as he continued singing and dancing.

“Florina is shy and innocent

She makes your heart feels so ardent.

So with no flattery, it will be a sin.

Hey, maybe you should fling with Lyn.”

“Sain! Now I admit that I have feelings for Lady Lyndis, but what you've said is absurd and unruly rude!” Kent protested. Sain turned to his orange-haired partner and said.

“Oh Kent, lighten up.”

Before Kent could argue, Sain quickly sang.

“Now listen up, and please take a note.

If you want to get the girl, then you have to emote.

Just coo their looks and praise their grace,

Which they will fall into your embrace.

With one warm hug and a gentle kiss

And the girl you want will become your miss.”

“Yeah, but Sain what about trust, honesty, commit-”

Once again, the orange-haired cavalier was interrupted by his partner as Sain danced around the campfire again.

“Ninian, boy she can dance,

She really makes you want to prance.

Serra, boy can she scold,

But she is so mighty bold.

Isadora, she's so modest,

She's so honorable and zest.

Farina can be your gal,

But you have to pay her money and gold.”

“Now this is getting ridiculous, Sain. I don't know what do the ladies have to do with this lesson, but I have no time to learn this while we're in the war.”

Sain swiftly stopped dancing as he leaned against his lance and gave Kent a playful smile. The brown-haired cavalier teased, “Oh come on, Kent. This will help you out.”

“Look Sain, if Lady Lyndis finds out what we're doing, she'll going-” But Sain interrupted Kent by throwing his lance to him and danced.

“Karla with her beauty and grace,

She makes your heart beats in the race.

Nino is such a darling,

But you don't want to get Jaffar so riling.”

“Now, what does Jaffar have to do with-”

“Vaida is so scary,

So what you'll need is be chary.

Fiora can be your dame,

And somehow, you and her are like the same.”

“You think so? Because I thought it was my imagination, but then- Hey! Sain, this is getting out of control! Now I want you to stop this at once or I'll- Ah!”

Sain grabbed Kent's wrist and began to dance around the campfire, dragging the poor orange-haired cavalier in an awkward dance position.

“I do all for love so you can get a fine girl.

So don't forget and try to woo.

That way, the girls will fall for you.”

As Sain finished singing, he incidentally let go of Kent making the orange-haired cavalier stumbled backward and tripped over the log. Annoyed by his friend's `teaching,' Kent slowly pulled himself up just to see Sain danced around and humming the tune.

“Sain?” Kent called out. Unfortunately, Sain didn't hear Kent as he continued dancing and humming.

“Sain…” Kent called out sternly. Again, the brown-haired cavalier didn't pay attention.

“Sain!” Kent shouted, causing the brown-haired cavalier jumped.

“Ah! Oh Kent, don't startle me like that. You've nearly gave me a heart attack.”

“… Sain, I appreciate your help to help me remember about courtship, but as of right now, I don't have time to relearn about flirting and playing women's hearts. Besides, we'll about to enter the most toughest battle we have throughout our knighthood.”

“And there you go again Kent, always expecting the worse of the situation. You need to relax, Kent. I know this is going to be our toughest battle we've ever fought, but I will not let a mere dark thought take over me to lose a battle. Why with Lady Lyndis, the lords, the tactician, and everyone here with us to help and support each other, I'm sure it will lead us to victory.”

“Yes… You're quite right, Sain.”

The brown-haired cavalier smiled. “And besides Kent, we have all night to help you refresh your memory before the battle begins.”

“…… Sain, although we have all night to talk before the battle's coming, I still insist that it's a bad idea. In fact, I think Lady Lyndis will be upset about us staying up all night. We need to be rested and prepared for the up-coming battle. If we stay up all night and are tired the next day, it will lead us to our defeat and we will never be able to end the war. Do you want that to happen to us?”

Sain let out a long sigh. “No, and you're right. If we stay up all night, Lady Lyndis will never forgive me for trying to help a friend in need and being unprepared for the war.”

“I'm glad you've understand. Now get some rest, we have a big day ahead of us.”

“Yes, Mother,” Sain cried out as he was heading to his tent. Before disappearing into the darkness, the brown-haired cavalier turned around and said. “You know what Kent? Although we didn't get the chance to help you freshen up your memory, that song has a catchy tune.”

“Sain….” Kent replied sternly.

“I'm going, Mother. I'm going.”

The orange-haired cavalier slowly sat on the log, shaking his head in disappointment of his partner. He knew that Sain was trying to help him feel less stress about the war by taking his mind off about it, but he never understand why Sain had to act so reckless and not taking seriously if the situation became serious such as the war. Decided on what to do with Sain later and started worry about the war and the welfare of the people, Kent slowly got up and began to patrol. It wasn't long until Kent hummed the same tune that Sain sang. Kent had to admit with Sain, it was a catchy tune.
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A/N:

And Louise is so full of life,
It's too bad that she's Pent's wife.

Oops, my apologies. I was just singing along. I just wanted to show you the deleted lyric in case you think that I missed every female unit in FE7. Also, here's a lyric made by Nomad Rath when he was trying his best to help me finish the lyric:

And with Leila, there's much to be said,
It's real shame that she's now dead.

Nomad Rath had commented about placing Lucius in the lyric since he looks like a woman, but I didn't have the chance to think about what to write about him. I'm sorry, Rath. Anyway, thank you for reading my songfic and I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.