Flame Of Recca Fan Fiction ❯ Fade Away: That's Life ❯ Love me. Hate me. ( Chapter 1 )

Fade Away: That's Life

Disclaimers: I do not own FOR, and actually have no intention of owning it. I needed a basis for my storyline and I needed the characters.

Notes: I have decided on the University setting partly because it had been the majority; but also because I have found that it is much easier to write a story with University settings. Fuuko's koi would be Tokiya, as most people have requested, to put it mildly, in the reviews. I have not an idea why Tofu is so welcomed by all who read FOR and I do not think I should attempt understanding. I have to apologize for not being able to make a Raiha/Fuuko, or Kurei/Fuuko fanfiction as some of the reviewers wanted, but I had mentioned in the poll that the pairings also depend on favouritism. However, they will turn up, so stay around for their entrance. I have named 'Joker' Lucas Khay in this fanfiction as Joker did not have a definite name throughout the series or the manga. The University used in the story is not a University in actual existence, and so far, I haven't seen a need for the name of the University. Therefore, it will remain anonymous until I feel that it is required. I shall also add that in this fanfiction, Raiha would be Fuuko's dear brother and their parents are dead. Further explanations will be done after this chapter is over and if you have more questions, you can feel free to either e-mail or send a review.

This will turn out a happy fanfiction, if that's what anyone's worried about. However, there's quite a load of angst in the middle.

Chapter One: Love me, hate me.

In the place that I've left behind,

There I've left my past gently swaying,

All those memories,so beautiful,

But like a dying rose; softly fading…

I would wake up screaming everyday. It torments my mind, all those memories. They always came to me, hauntingly real, just preying on my heart, my brain and my soul.

Today was no different from the others. I woke up screaming as usual, panting slightly at the stress and ache the nightmares never ceased to cause me. I sat up, wiping the tendrils of hair drenched in sweat from my forehead. The droning silence around me was hurting with irritancy. I mutely wondered about it. I could feel no fear from the silence or the darkness.

A look at the clock that hung alone on a bare white wall told me how dead in the morning it was. Thin silver lines graced in from the windows, illuminating my dark world with the slightest light. Absence of fear was a stranger to me. Perhaps it was the fear that had killed my once innocent heart. It was also debatable whether I had ever had one. People said to me, every time you struggle and survive a disaster, you would become a different person. I know the wisdom in these words. There was disaster somewhere along this life and it was the disaster that always came back, never letting me forget it.

Thinking worked up an appetite. Ignoring the fact that if I were to eat now, at two in the morning and went back to sleep, waking up later in the day, I would get a stomachache, I gladly threw the sheets off my body. Pain was another frequent visitor in my life and having it drop by uninvited came as no surprise to me.

I padded towards the kitchen, where I took the initiative to cook myself a meal. I settled with a plate of sausages and eggs. The typical early morning breakfast and the easiest to cook, if I was not considering the usage of a microwave oven. I got past two of my sausages and was reaching for a third when I had caught sight, as I have almost every new morning in my life after disaster happened, of a silent photo frame that stood desolately on the kitchen counter.

It was the key trigger to all my memories. Although without it, I would not have forgotten the memories anyway. I was not a psychopath, but the picture was to make sure I never forgot the memories. No matter how tormenting I never want to forget them. I strode past the table and picked up the photo frame, running my fingers across the pitiful layer of glass. Willful, happy faces stared back at me from the depths of the photo within the frame. I slowly breathed out their names, as my finger gently rode over each of their faces and finally stopped momentarily at one.

He was not smiling in the picture. He never did. The moment was short and I had continued again, fingers riding, as memories replayed themselves in my brain…

"This is the new exchange student," The teacher coughed lightly as he frowned at the register. I hid a smile with the back of my hand. The teacher obviously had no idea how to pronounce my name.

"Kirisawa Fuuko, sir." I said steadily. He coughed again.

" Please sit at the third row, on that seat right next to Mr. Khay, Miss KI-RI-SA-WA."

I nodded for politeness and walked over to my seat. I had not settled in for more than a second when a hand stuck itself under my nose.

Blinking, I turned, my eyes trailing from the hand to the arm it was attached to and finally, to the person's face. I could only see half of his face; his eyes were hidden under the shadow of a baseball cap.

"Lucas Khay, also known as 'Joker'." The boy introduced himself.

"Kirisawa Fuuko." I said, taking his hand. He grinned amicably.

"What's with the cap?" I asked.

His grin widened as he tugged at the cap. "That's my secret."

I shrugged. It was not my problem to probe into his private life.

"So, where you from?" He asked in a lowered voice.

"Tokyo." I replied casually.

He grinned widely. " Oh, a Jap."

I frowned at him. "Not 'Jap'," I said, " That's impolite. Japanese." I emphasized.

"Okay." He raised his hands in mock surrender, grinning like a half-witted idiot. I ignored him. I was not usually like that. Usually, I would not have gotten irritated over such a little matter. But, I had just arrived in this new country, dragged away from all my friends. It would be impossible to be in a good mood. Especially if you had to attend school two days after you had just arrived.

We both refrained from talking until the lunch bell rang. I was about to leave the classroom when Joker called out to me. " Hey! Kirisawa, wait up!"

"Yeah?" I asked with slight suspicion.

He grinned at me easily. "I'm supposed to show you around the compound m'lady." He added with an elaborate gentlemen's bow.

I rolled my eyes. " Save the antics and lead me to the cafeteria if you have to."

"Cute. Right on ma'am!" He paused to give a clumsy salute before leading me to the cafeteria. I chanced to hear him mutter under his breath, "wonder about the idiot."

We arrived at the cafeteria later than most students, no thanks to Lucas Khay and his terrible sense of direction. The cafeteria was filled with students, but managed not to look too crowded. I assumed it was the size. The school cafeteria was at least twice the size of a normal school cafeteria. Lucas Khay started to crane his neck and scan the crowd.

"Looking for someone?" I asked.

He gave me another large grin before turning his cap-shaded gaze back to scanning the crowd. I distinctly heard him mutter, "Nope, nope, not here, not there……"

I let my own gaze sweep across the crowd. Mutely, I wondered who Lucas Khay was looking for. I did not wonder for very long. Lucas Khay suddenly let out a loud yell, " HANABISHI!!!" and started a frantic waving tirade.

Hanabishi? I thought distantly. The name was familiar to me and it sounded Japanese. A spiky haired boy popped into my vision yelling at the top of his voice. " HEY! YOU FREAKIN JOKER!!" The both of them exchanged mega-watt grins and hi-fived right there and then.

" Where HAVE you been? I was looking for you this morning." Joker accused with mock anger.

" Not telling. Why? You jealous?" Hanabishi grinned widely.

" Might be." Joker said, his face serious. They both stared at each other for a moment before bursting out in howling laughter.

Then, the Hanabishi guy seemed to notice me for the first time. " Hey, you got hooked already?"

" Heh! You wish. Transfer student." Joker replied with simplicity. The spiky haired boy turned and addressed me.

" Yo, your name girl?" He asked, not forgetting to snicker after his sentence.

" Don't…" I had started to say that I didn't owe him an answer when Joker rudely cut in. " Kirisawa Fuuko, a lil jappie like you."

" Ho! You're Japanese too?" Hanabishi seemed to look at me with a new light. " I thought it was only him and me." I heard him mutter.

" What?" I asked.

"Nothing, heh heh." Hanabishi said waving a hand, wearing a disgusted look on his face. I thought nothing much of it at that point, but I later found out the reason for his disgust.

Turning to Lucas, Hanabishi said, " Have you seen that sorry excuse for a human around today?"

" He's not exactly a sorry excuse, and no he's not around today." Lucas answered, folding his arms.

" Well, he's no where near human, I can vouch for that. Still forever stuck at the grave." Hanabishi grumbled.

Lucas Khay directed Hanabishi a sharp look. " Don't you ever give up fighting with him?" Lucas muttered before turning back to me.

" Not unless he changes that sickening attitude." Hanabishi retorted. Suddenly from amongst the crowd there was a thundering yell.

" HANABISHI!!"

Hanabishi rolled his eyes before patting Joker on the shoulder. " Well, gotta run before that freakin ass gorilla catches up, see ya!" He directed a salute to me before taking off.

I had been silently wondering what Hanabishi meant by the term gorilla when I saw a huge hulk of a figure stumble past. He was a definitely some kind of cross breed between a gorilla and human. The human gorilla even had a ridiculous Mohawk hairstyle. Feeling a wave of distaste rush over me, I had innocently stuck out my leg when he passed by. He lived up to my expectations, falling face flat on the ground.

He got up, yelling like an enraged bull. He had extremely dull senses, not realizing who had tripped him, turning instead to terrorize each and every student that was standing near him. It made me ponder if he had more of the gorilla chromosomes in him than human. Hanabishi, from where he was, which must have been at least five metres away from the gorilla, had seen my little act and was laughing terribly hard, so hard that he had dropped and started rolling on the ground. If you thought that it was impossible for laughter to do that to you, then it is a shame that you could not see how amusing Hanabishi looked when he rolled.

The gorilla gave another booming 'HANABISHI' when he saw Hanabishi's behaviour, and gave up looking for his 'tripper', turning his attention back to Hanabishi again.

I burst out in uncontrollable laughter, and saw with the side of my vision, Joker laughing just as hard.

The school bell took the chance to ring angrily, after which Joker and I had to support each other back to class.

" That…" Joker had said, with tears streaming out of his eyes from the hard laughter, " was…haha…Ishijima…Domon." (it is assumed that Ishijima Domon is NOT a japanese in this story.)

" Domon? Haha…What…kind…of name is THAT?" I asked, clutching my stomach which had started to hurt from all the laughter.

" You'll never guess…..haha….it means…" Joker said with an elaborate pause, " ROCK!!"

It was soon six thirty in the evening and I had reached home, calling loudly, " Tadaima! Aniki!"

" Fuu-chan!" My brother, Kirisawa Raiha, appeared from the kitchen calling me by a pet name I understood was a form of affection, but I nevertheless disliked.

" Don't call me that!" I frowned to show my irritation. My brother was undaunted. He just sauntered up next to me, ruffling my hair.

" Hey!" I had protested loudly after he walked past me and started lying dining utensils on the table next to the kitchen.

I looked at him incredulously as he walked past, back into the kitchen. " We're having dinner now?"

" Why not?" Aniki shrugged from where he was, ladling out bowls of miso soup. " It's only a little earlier then when we do in Japan. A little help if you may, Fuu-chan."

Well, it did not really matter; I had skipped lunch and was feeling hungry anyway. " So, how was school?" Aniki asked after we had progressed through at least ten minutes of dinner.

" Uh, I suppose I did make some friends." I replied with uncertainty. I did not know if 'Joker' and Hanabishi were considered friends. I supposed in some way, there might be a possibility.

Ignoring the uncertainty in my tone, aniki's eyes brightened considerably. " That's good."

It must have been my over suspicion, I had thought at that point in time, seeing a flash of tremendous relief flash past aniki's eyes. I had thought, maybe it was because our ryoshin had just died two months ago and after we moved, he was afraid that I would not be able to get used to a different way of life.

It had not been my over suspicion, I had found out much later.

We retired to bed early, which proved to be a mistake. I woke up, surprisingly bright, at two the next morning and found that no matter how much I tried, slumber was not viable. Giving up, I threw the sheets off and exited my room, the idea of visiting aniki fresh in my head.

Quietly, full of playful intent, I opened the door barring me from him. I was surprised; aniki was not in his room. A thorough search of the house showed that aniki had gone out.

Feeling bewildered, I went out of the house, not forgetting a flashlight, in search of him. Aniki, dokoe iku no ka? (Aniki, where did you go?)

" Aniki!" I called out in a sound slightly louder than a whisper. No intention of attracting flying crockery from someone's windowsill so early in the morning. I walked a few more metres, calling for aniki, keeping my noise level in check.

It was then I saw, illuminated by the moonlight a dark figure which flew past and landed with a slight thud in the alleyway near by. Fearing it was aniki, I ran to the alleyway, after which the possibility of the figure not being my aniki formed in my brain.

I started to approach the alleyway with more caution. I was unduly surprised however, to find no one. Feeling puzzled, I had wanted to walk out of the alleyway when I felt a death grip around my neck.

" What…" I started to say when a voice cut mine coldly.

"Don't make a sound or you die. Why are you following me." Cold, like unfeeling metal. I was not able to suppress a small shiver. I knew how to fight, and if someone could still catch me with a grip like the one around my neck, that person was not one that could be underestimated. However, I was thankful for the anger that was boiling, so much I did not bother stopping myself from saying:

" I wasn't following you, you freakin' bastard!"

He laughed, a small laughter, cold and dry. " So you were just taking a nice walk in the road at 2 in the morning."

Sarcasm. Another thing that made my blood boil further. " Just let go of me." I hissed, trying my best to control my anger.

The stranger said nothing, and did nothing to remove the vice-like grip on my neck. My patience wore out. Cursing slightly, I willed all my strength and hit the stranger right across the jaw, except the punch only coursed through thin air, hitting nothing with the grip still around my neck.

" Don't make another move." The voice said simply, but the grip around my neck tightened.

I felt slightly out of breath. I cursed again and directed a flying kick in the direction of the voice. I did hit something, and heard the stranger let out an almost inaudible groan of pain. The grip on my neck slackened and I broke free of it easily. I turned and shone the flashlight in the direction of the voice and was stunned slightly when my eyes met ice cold blue.

I realized that it was the stranger's eyes. Ice cold blue set on perfectly carved porcelain skin, with waves of silver hair tied up securely in a ponytail. He had an expression of pure hatred present on his features, his hand, around a part of his abdomen, stained blood red.

"What the…?" I had started when the stranger moved, whipping out a katana and came towards me with lightning fast speed. I stood rooted, for some reason, unable to move. I was watching the katana coming down faster, faster…

" DAMMIT! MIKAGAMI! STOP!!" I heard, it was a very familiar voice. The katana stopped, less than an inch from me.

"Joker?" I had muttered, and turned around, finding that my assumption was correct.

Joker directed me a weak smile. " Thank goodness." I heard him mutter as he walked forward. He addressed Mikagami with anger. " What in the freaking hell were you trying to do? Kill her?"

The stranger, Mikagami, looked at Joker. " And if I was?"

" You know darn well that we're not suppose to kill anyone!"

Mikagami regarded Joker's blazing gaze coolly. They stared at each other for a mere few seconds, after which Joker broke eye contact first.

He turned to me and said. "I'm sorry Kirisawa, you'll have to come with me."

" What for?" I asked, feeling ruffled at the outrageousness of everything. Heck! All I wanted to do was to find aniki!

"You've seen something you're not supposed to see, and I have to let you meet Yanagi."

"Yanagi?" I had said before I felt someone deliver a blow to my head, and my world turned dark around me.

I was staring into space. The clock on my kitchen wall read three in the morning. I was not tired, no, in fact, the memory was keeping me wide awake. Breakfast had turned cold, and my appetite had disappeared. Nevertheless, I felt no urge to return to bed. My window was opened, and a gentle, sad breeze was inching its way around my apartment.

Three more hours before the sun will rise. The curtains swayed lightly and my mind was forced into another memory trance.

Author's Notes: Now, I shall give proper explanations for all those who cannot understand what I am writing. Firstly, Fuuko is now working. Her memories are of the times when she was in University. Joker and Mikagami are NOT assassins. That part of the explanation will come in the next chapter.

By the way, the Japanese do mind when they are called 'Japs'. This is a fact as I have found out from an online Japanese friend. Okay, I hope you enjoy the story.

If you find that my story is unoriginal, you can feel free to tell me. I will look up the story that you find proves my unoriginality. If it is a complete match, I will most probably delete this story. I apologize for not being able to update my other stories, but this was a good idea; at least I still think it is.