FLCL Fan Fiction ❯ Noata (Moon-Walker Through Space and Time) ❯ Prologue ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Nothing special ever happens here. In this town, we've all become accustomed to our boring ways of life. Ever since the day she came, I became more and more aware of just how ordinary this place is. Ever since she broke my heart I've wandered aimlessly through these school books and managed to be put on a short leash hooked on an obedience coller. Life. Life is like being flushed down a toilet. All you do is spin around uniformly, enrapped in the worst stench, choking on water, knowing all there is at the end is the drain, where you die. Maybe that's all there is to look forward to.

I never just walk away from school and do what I want anymore. Dad noticed that much. I'm surprised, he's been moaning and complaining ever since she left. That's all he does anymore, really. Sometimes, I wonder, if I'm a little like him in that aspect because, like him, I can't stop thinking about her. Quite often, though, I get wrapped up in the normal routine of everyday life, and I forget all the things that happened when she was around. Why? Because now they seem like a mere fantastic dream that I MIGHT have had, and I can't quite get that grip on myself to disern what exactly it was.A hellish nightmare? A breath-taking fantasy? Everyone else helps the illusion by keeping on with their boring, dull lives and day-to-day errands. We never speak of all the incredible things that might have happened.

Haruko, that might have not even been her name. Then again, everyone calls me by something other than my damn name, so who am I to judge? Whether I see her again or not, I don't really care. She was only selfish...she wasn't even THAT pretty anyway...why do I even stop to think about her at all? Wasn't Mamimi prettier? 'Course...she's gone too. Besides...why do I even let myself dwell on things I can't have, both of them are gone, and now I feel like everyone else. Conforming, pretending, empty, and just swirling down that white bowl, down, down, spiraling toward that drain. Maybe that's all there is to look forward to.

I stoke my cat as I look out from the balcony...the sun shines in my eyes and I have to squint. I hate the sun. Haruko's eyes were like two big sun's looking down at me, so bright they also made me squint. I hate squinting. So why can't I hate her? I wish I could...

Nothing special ever happens here. Yet there remains the memories of that fantastic dream so long ago...those dusty, old memories, like Canti, for example, sometimes I just pretend he isn't there, doesn't even exist. Kind of how I treat dad every time he talks about her...

When I look up at the stars at night, I hate it when I wonder where she could be. Where Haruko could be. If she's found that space pirate she's in love with. I sometimes wonder if Mamimi will get more famous with her photography. But I wonder so much more about Haruko instead... What's wrong with me? I can't even eat crappy brand ramen anymore, and that's all they have in the cafeteria...because it only reminds me of...

Of course, it's not like I'm totally a wreck without her, I mean, sometimes I just feel like everyone else. Not really sad, or really happy, just spinning around routinely in the toilet. That's what life is anyway, what more can I ask?

Maybe...maybe I want something special to happen--even an ORDINARY special thing--like actually being cared for by someone...that in its self...it's every-day, but not so dull and depressing. Then again...if all we can look forward to is the drain...then why fool yourself into thinking there's somehow more? But then...smoke's been coming from that factory again...not that it means anything...at least...I don't THINK it does...