Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ A Fine Line ❯ ni ( Chapter 2 )

WARNING! This story is rated R! It has yaoi lemon content! If you are under 17 and/or do not know what yaoi is, or what a lemon is, don't read it! You have been warned, please do not come crying to me or go leaving bad reviews because you read it anyway and are shocked or corrupted. Thank you. ^_^

Disclaimer: Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. I wonder if she knows that obsessed fans do weird things to her characters.... The lyrics are from "The Line Is Fine" and belong to Travis.

Note: Arigato gozimasu to everyone who reviewed! As you can see, it was enough for me to continue this story. ^_^ Writing another chapter after that first one was a tall order, I hope I've done it justice. Special thanks to my two dear friends for your help and encouragement (you know who you are). I love you guys! (And I'm really glad you still talk to me even though I've turned into a crazy fangirl.)

I just noticed today that when I posted this before, there were no " ". ::sigh:: Hopefully I can get it working! ^_^;;;;

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*

Look at me, I'm so disgusting

I will never find another

Quite like you

You make me blue

With the things you do

*

My thoughts were going a mile a minute, around in circles, as I lay on Shigure's roof watching the stars. Why did I let Yuki do that to me? Why did I kiss him? Am I gay? I've always thought he was fruity, but me... I've never been fruity... have I? No, of course not, I want Tohru... don't I? Then why haven't I been able to think of anything but him since it happened? Is it just because no-one's ever done that to me before, and it would have felt the same no matter who it was? But why did I let him, of all people? Am I really just that... horny?

On and on, the same questions had been driving me crazy for hours straight. It seemed like it had happened days ago, not... I counted... ten hours ago. We had finished cleaning the rest of the school in silence, not looking at each other, careful to keep our distance. I left before him and came straight to the roof, grateful not to run into Tohru or Shigure. I know it's stupid, but part of me thought that with one look they would see that I left this morning normal and came back infected with Yuki's poison. Yes, that's what it was, it wasn't my fault. He had infected me with his fruity poison.

'Be honest,' my little voice said. Why should I? 'Be honest.' I sighed. This was Tohru's doing... not that I minded. She could do whatever she wanted with me and I wouldn't mind. It was weird, though. Before, I would have been able to blame it all on the damn rat just like I always did. But now I found myself unable to deny the truth.

I wouldn't deny it, but that didn't mean I had to admit it, either. I couldn't admit that I'm the one who's disgusting, I'm the one who's always been obsessed with him... the only one who knows the truth behind the prince.

What would his fan club say, I wondered, if they knew he went around giving blowjobs? Did he go around giving blowjobs? The rat sure seemed to know what he was doing. The kiss I had seen with Manabe, had that ended the same way? Anger and jealousy began to well up within me.

What is wrong with me? He sucks my dick once and it's enough to not only turn me gay, but also make me want him all to myself? Is that why he did it, is he playing some game? Is this his sick idea of fun, to give me the most pleasure I've ever had in my life, knowing full well it would make me question everything I've ever thought about myself?

*

Look at you, you're so familiar

We could be so cool together

All the time

Could all be fine

We're on the line

The line is fine

*

I heard the ladder creak and knew it was Tohru, coming to make sure I was okay like she always did. I felt like I was being torn in two. I wanted to see her, and yet I didn't want her to see me. If only I could be invisible, or run away from her, but I couldn't. I sat up and faked a smile as she climbed onto the roof.

We sat in silence for a while before she asked me, "Are you alright, Kyo? Do you want to talk about it?"

I couldn't possibly tell her what had happened, though some strange part of me wanted to. Not to shock her or turn her against Yuki... although that was certainly appealing, I must admit... but to share it with her. Maybe it would help me feel better, or maybe she could tell me what to do like she had so many times before.

I didn't answer her. She would understand.

"You had a really big fight with Yuki, didn't you?"

"Something like that," I answered, my voice sounding strange to my ears.

"Why do you hate him so much?" she asked.

"You know why."

"But... he doesn't hate you, and it's not fair to hate someone who doesn't hate you back."

"That's the dumbest thing I ever heard, and of course he hates me."

She ignored the first part of my comment. "What if he didn't hate you, what would you do then?"

What if he didn't hate me...? I couldn't follow that thought, afraid of where it might lead. I laid back on the roof and put my hands behind my head. "I don't know," I said, wanting to give her some answer. Then I turned my head to look at her and noticed the way she was sitting. If she shifted ever so slightly I would have a very clear, very enticing view of her panties.

I swallowed hard and forced my eyes to move upwards, only to stare again when they reached her breasts. Did she notice where I was looking? Did she mind? I couldn't tear my eyes away. I liked looking at Tohru's breasts and the prospect of seeing her panties excited me, therefore I was not gay. It was settled. But... would I enjoy kissing her as much as I had enjoyed kissing Yuki? Would I get the urge to run my tongue over every inch of her body as I had with the rat? Only one way to find out, I decided.

Without warning I moved over to her and pressed my lips to hers, desperate to find some answers. My tongue sought entrance and explored her mouth when it was granted. My hands roamed over her back, shoulders, and neck on their journey to her chest. I cupped her breasts in my hands and she gave a little gasp. Fueled on by the sound, I kissed my way down her neck, pushing the dress off her shoulders as I did so. "Kyo," she gasped as I unclasped her bra, freeing her flushed skin to the chilled night air.

I looked at her mounds as my hands kneaded them. I was excited, I could feel my erection growing, and it was the reaction I had hoped for. I took a peak in my mouth and began to suck, savoring the taste of her and the small moans of pleasure escaping her lips. Then my vision blurred and it when it cleared, it was no longer Tohru beneath me and in my mouth, it was Yuki and he was begging me to suck harder, calling my name with a passion I didn't know he possessed.

I could feel my erection throb to full force in record time, spurred on by his impassioned voice calling for me and the feel of him in my mouth. I sucked harder and he arched his back, climaxing with a yell and -

I bolted upright, gasping for air. I took a few deep breaths and closed my eyes. A dream, it was just a dream. I didn't want to think about what it meant. I looked around. I was on the roof still, the sky dark and void of stars. I guessed that it was around four a.m. I looked down to see a blanket covering me and smiled. I must have been sleeping when Tohru came up.

It was safe to go to my room now, everyone would be asleep. I made my way in the dark and when I got there the door was open. I never left the door open. I approached cautiously. Kagura hadn't shown up, had she? No, she wouldn't have let me sleep.

I peered into my room and saw a figure sitting on my bed, outlined by moonlight streaming in through the window. I knew immediately who it was. Yuki. What was he doing on my bed? He didn't want... he didn't think he could just...?

I walked into the room and closed the door behind me. If Tohru or Shigure happened to get up and walk by, I didn't want them to see us together, at night, with the lights off.

"What do you want?" I said, careful to keep my voice low. He patted the bed next to him. My eyes went wide. "Hell no," was my answer to his invitation.

"Fine then, talk to me from across the room and let someone hear you. That dog can hear things a mile away, you know." He was exaggerating, I was sure, but had made his point. I walked over to the bed and sat at a comfortable distance from him. Well, the most comfortable under the circumstances.

"So?" I asked.

"Can I have my blanket back, if you're done with it?"

"What?" I said, louder than I should have. His blanket? What the hell was he talking about?

"The blanket in your hand, it's mine and I'd like it back."

Had he gone crazy? "You're in my room at four o'clock in the morning because Tohru put your blanket on me?"

"Baka neko! Really, sometimes I wonder why I even bother." He sighed. "Tohru didn't put the blanket on you, I did."

I looked at him, incredulous. It was the rat that covered me? But that would mean he cared.... Tohru's words in my dream haunted me. 'What if he didn't hate you?' If he didn't hate me... and if I didn't hate him... could we be... friends? After today... no, it couldn't be that he wanted more than that.

"Why would you do that?" I asked him.

"Tohru said it was cold outside," he answered.

Oh, I get it, Tohru had told him to. That made sense... but why did I feel disappointed? I watched him, sitting there on my bed a little more than an arm's reach away, bathed in moonlight and shadow, looking like an angel or a devil, I couldn't decide. Everything about him was a little girly. His clothes, his hair, his big eyes, his voice, the way he walked... only when we fought or he was mad did he lose that fruity nature of his. I smiled as I realized there was one other time, ironically, when he wasn't fruity. Something else only I knew about him... or me and Manabe, and maybe Haru, too. My smile faded. Not because I wasn't the only one, I couldn't care less who he did, but because I didn't like how I'd come about that knowledge.

"Why were you smiling?" his voice penetrated my thoughts. Though I had been looking at him, I had somehow forgotten that he was here.

"Here's your damn blanket," I flung it at him, "now get out."

"No, we need to talk."

"I don't have anything to say to you." Not that I could put into words, anyway.

"Fine, but I have something to say to you."

"I don't want to hear it," I told him. It was probably about what had happened on that roof. There were a hundred different things he could say, excuses he could make, feelings he could confess to having or not having, things he could say he wanted to do or didn't want to do.... All those hundred things, I didn't want to hear any of them.

"You don't even know what it is."

"I don't care. It's coming from you, so I don't want it," I said. Though I knew it sounded childish, I couldn't help myself.

"Really? That wasn't your position yesterday." He said with a wicked grin.

I went to hit him but he caught my arm, pulled me across the bed, and hugged me. Hugged me? Why was he hugging me? "Damn you, let me go." I said.

"If you insist," he acquiesced, but not before kissing my lips softly. He left with his damn blanket, and I sat there, knowing I would get no more sleep tonight.

*

Open up ma window

The line is fine

Standing on the ledge

Well I don't look down

*

I was right, I couldn't fall asleep. I could almost smell him on my pillow, I needed some air. I opened my window, not feeling like going up to the roof. Maybe if I just stayed here in my room, I would be safe... from him, from these feelings, from the urges that were surfacing, from all the things I didn't want to think about, but that wouldn't leave me alone.

Had it only been twenty-four hours since I'd been waiting for him at school, ready to kill him? And now... it feels as if I'm on the edge of something. Or maybe it's a seesaw. Sane, not sane... gay, not gay... hate him....

No, I couldn't look down that path. I really would lose my mind.

*

Looking at the people

Well they all look fine

It's not just life or death

*

This is hell, I thought as I sat in English class. I want to look at him, but I can't let anyone see me looking. I feel like they'll all know if they catch me, but I can't help myself. And Tohru... she keeps looking at me with a worried expression. I hope she doesn't suspect the truth. Maybe she thinks I'm plotting his death. That would be better. I should be plotting his death, damn it. What's wrong with me?

At lunch I watched the other students from the roof. Why couldn't I be normal, like them? They all looked so happy.

"I thought I would find you here."

I turned to see Tohru walking towards me with my forgotten lunch in her hands. She handed it to me and I muttered a thanks.

"You look so sad. What were you looking at?" she asked.

"Everyone down there, they all look so happy."

"That's because you're up here."

"What?" Tohru was telling me that everyone was happy because I wasn't with them?

"From far away, everyone looks small. You can't see their faces, their problems, their worries. You don't know if they're happy or if they're pretending. You can't see who they really are. For that, you have to get close. From here... it's just an illusion."

"What if you get close and end up hurt?"

"Then you cherish your good memories and move on. The important thing is that you have those memories." She put her hand on my arm, "You should eat, you don't look well, Kyo."

*

Yesterday we talked together

But tonight it's just the weather

Chillin' me

What's the point in silly talking?

We could get there quicker walking

Down the line

*

"Where's Tohru?" I asked Yuki when I got to my locker at the end of the day.

"Work," he said simply.

"Oh," I replied. Would he walk home with me? I was both excited and repulsed by the thought.

I changed into my street shoes, grabbed my bag, and headed for home. He caught up with me a few blocks from school. I waited, but he didn't speak. He just walked next to me, staring straight ahead. What is he thinking? I looked over at him, trying to get some clue of his mood. Instead, I noticed the way the sunlight gleamed in his hair and that he was walking awfully close, too close. Had he walked this close before?

Finally I couldn't take the silence any longer. "No student council meeting today?" I asked.

"Never on Monday." He said.

"Um, how's your garden?"

"Are you trying to start a conversation?" He asked as he turned to look at me.

"So what if I am?"

"But you hate me," he stated.

"So?"

"Then why talk to me?"

"Maybe I'm bored. Maybe I'm sick of fighting with you. Didn't Tohru say we should talk?"

He looked at me with an expression I could not name. "We tried that, it didn't work, remember? I think, for you and I, there is a better way to... peace." With that, he walked away and I was left standing outside Shigure's, feeling suddenly empty.

What did that damn rat mean, 'a better way?' I think he's right, though, we aren't able to talk. It never gets us anywhere. But... where exactly are we trying to go?

I avoided everyone for the rest of the day. At night I laid in bed for hours, unable to sleep. Something had been trying to creep into my thoughts, but I wouldn't let it. I didn't want to allow it even that slight justification. But it just wouldn't leave me alone. Maybe if I thought it, if I let it out, then I could get some sleep?

If it's true, that unwanted thought, what does that say about me... about him? One of the things I hate about him is that he's a liar, but if I'm not honest with myself I'll be just as bad.

"There's a fine line between love and hate," I whispered to the darkness. I think we're on it, though I hate myself for it.

*

Could all be fine

But we're on the line

The line is fine

*

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Please review (if you liked it). ;-) Ja ne, minna-san, see you on the flipside!