Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Alone ❯ Alone ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, nor do I own any of the characters, unfortunately I’m not rich enough to own them Also, this is my first attempt at a Fruits Basket story, so please don’t be too harsh on me…now, on with the story!
Enjoy! Jassie xxx

I am alone. Life didn’t matter anymore. Every day it’s the same. I wake up, get ready for work, treat the family for any illnesses, return home, write up reports, cook and then go to bed. If she was still here, it wouldn’t be like that. No, we’d be going out with each other, teasing each other, loving each other, arguing with each other, and most importantly, we’d be together. But it isn’t like that, she’s gone and she’s not coming back, not ever, my beautiful Kana, gone forever.
I’m surrounded by my family, but why do I still feel alone? Why do I still feel empty? Everyday I think about her, I wonder where she is and how she’s doing, has she met any one? Does she love him? Does he love her? Does he love her as much as I do? Is she married? Does she remember me? No, of course she doesn’t, she can’t. If I passed her on the street, she wouldn’t recognize me, she has no memory of me, none at all. Sometimes the pain of not having her is too much, and I wonder. I wonder how I can take my life. I wonder if any one would miss me. I wonder if any one would care. I wonder if it’s worth it. Maybe it is, I can’t bear to live without her by my side, but no one knows this. They think I’m over her, it has, after all, been three years. But I’m not, how can I get over the only woman I’ve ever loved? I can’t. So I plaster a smile on my face and I carry on with my life, day after day, week after week. Until it all becomes a blur, I don’t remember what happened last week. All I remember is her, her smile, her laugh, her eyes, the way she touched me, the way she screamed out my name when she came and most importantly, the way she loved me.
And then, she came. She brought happiness back into my life, she was a flower and I was a bee. I was drawn to her, she fascinated me. She helped me to forget Kana, she helped to keep my memories of her locked up inside the back of my head, never to resurface again. She was my Tohru. And I loved her; I loved her more than anything, more than life itself. I would gladly give up mine for her. But she didn’t love me like how I loved her. No, she loves that damn cat, that damn Kyo. I know I should be happy for them, but I can’t be. I’m jealous, I’m heart-broken, and I’m alone. Every one has found love, even Shigure, every one but me. I have to watch as they all laugh and cuddle their loved ones, putting on a happy face, while inside I’m dead. I can’t even look at Tohru and Kyo, it hurts too much, when I see him with her, I’m filled with such a rage, it scares me. I want to hurt him; I want to hurt every one, except her, just like how I’ve been hurt. So I keep away from them, I avoid visiting them; I make up excuses when the Sohma family gathers, just so that I don’t see her with him. I bury myself in my work, focusing my mind on nothing else. I force myself to get up every morning; I force myself to eat and get on with the day, wishing I could just die the whole time. Wishing I didn’t have to go through this, wishing that this damned curse could be broken, wishing it was never there in the first place, because then, I would still have Kana. But however many wishes I make, I know that they’ll never come true, this curse will be here for many centuries to come and I hate it. I hate it more than anything. This is why I don’t have anyone. This is why I’m dead inside. This is why I am alone.