Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Belated Gift 2: The Gift that Keeps on Giving ❯ Doll's Dilemma ( Chapter 7 )

Best not to think about his need for Tooru now, not with that denpa girl in the house. Shigure decided to start a new manuscript; there wasn't anything better to keep his mind off reality then writing. And besides, Mit-chan would start calling soon, wanting to know what he planned to hand in next. He'd done one of his high literature books last; usually it'd be time for him to do a romance under his penname. His mouth twisted. It wasn't as if he didn't have plenty of material to work from right now... but he was supposed to be getting his mind *off* reality.

High literature it was, he thought and turned his computer on. It had been a while since he'd written, so he was rusty at first. But he found his fingers soon moving fast over the keyboard as the story started to unfold behind his eyes.

He got so involved that it came as a shock when someone flipped the lights on in his study. He started and his fingers fumbled over the keyboard spouting a line of gibberish on the screen. He looked up in surprise to see Hatori standing in the doorway.

"Ha-san?" He said a little incredulously.

"I brought Yuki back." Hatori said with a faint shrug of explanation. "He came to the Honke after school, he wanted to hear directly from me how Tooru-kun was."

Shigure blinked at him again and started to rise. "Yuki went to the main house?" He said surprised. He thought that Yuki avoided the honke and its compound completely. He usually made any excuse not to go there.

Hatori looked over his shoulder and closed the door to Shigure's study. "You worried him this morning." He leaned against the door. "Enough that he risked a trip to the main house to see me."

"Does he-" Shigure started settling back into his seat.

"Suspect?" Hatori shook his head, "Not that." No need to say what `that' was. He sat by Shigure's desk and leaned against the edge. Lighting a cigarette he breathed the smoke in deep before releasing it. "No, he thinks Tooru is more ill then we let on... that what ever she'd had before the trip is reoccurring... or that its some more serious illness."

"It...It isn't is it?" Shigure said hesitantly. "The blood you took, you tested it for more than... well you know."

"Besides the flu, she's healthy." Hatori assured him. "I tested for more than just pregnancy."

Shigure's shoulder slumped with relief. "But... it's just, she's been sick so often recently. First her fever before the trip, now this..."

"Stress plays a large part of in it." Hatori said blandly, "It lowers the immune system, makes the body more susceptible to illness. Can you think of anything that could be causing Tooru-kun stress?" He looked at the other man blandly. Shigure's mouth twisted, but he didn't reply. "Anyway, you'll have to watch yourself around Yuki for a while."

"What did you tell him?" Shigure asked.

The dragon looked at the dog, wondering how much he should say. He disliked how much he'd encouraged this so far. Tooru didn't seem to be holding up well, Shigure was behaving in ways that disturbed him.

Finally he decided to tell him just the bare details of what he and Yuki had discussed. "I basically told him what I told you. That Tooru has always been affected by stress, and that being in her final year of school was bound to be a stressful for her. I also told him I suspected she might be deficient in iron...anemic maybe..."

Shigure lifted his eyebrows at the doctor.

Hatori shrugged, "I thought it would be a good excuse for her to come for the birth control pills once she was well."

"And we can just say the pills are vitamins." Shigure mused out loud. Hatori was getting good at being dishonest.

"I doubt the boys are that sheltered." Hatori said with a slight grin. It was rather hard to mistake a birth control pill for anything other than what it was.

"True." Shigure chuckled.

There was a light knock at the door and then Yuki slid the door open. "Hatori?"

"Yes?" Hatori turned to face the teen.

"Dinner is ready. Kyou said that Honda-san has been sleeping since before he got home... Should we wake her to eat?"

Hatori turned to Shigure, "Do you know when she fell asleep?"

"She's been sleeping on and off all day." Shigure said thoughtfully. "She drifted off the last time maybe a couple of hours before Kyou and the others got home. Just after I'd given her the Benadryl and had her eat."

The doctor checked his watch. "Best to let her sleep then. If she doesn't wake before we leave then maybe we'll wake her to give her another dose of the medicine."

Yuki looked disappointed but nodded. "Anyway...Kyou says that dinner is ready."

The two men trooped out and sat to eat with the boys and Tooru's friends. It was an odd meal, to have so many people and to be so quiet. Yuki re-introduced Hatori to Tooru's friends and both girls had been quick to quiz him on the absent girl's condition. Hatori kept his explanation brief and vague, not wanting to contradict himself accidentally in front of the observant Yuki.

Hanajima stared at him as if trying to determine if he was disassembling. It took more than he expected for Hatori not to shift uncomfortably. That was saying something for the man who often had to deal with Akito. He was more concerned when he saw Yuki shoot the girl a quick look once she taken her stare away from him. He wondered if Shigure had noticed the exchange.

"Ahhh..." Shigure gave a sigh, startling everyone. "The atmosphere is so heavy..." He looked piteously at Hatori. "It's not fair, everyone is pairing up but me... my house is turning into a love nest..."

"Love nest?!" Kyou repeated starting to rise.

"Yes, yes..." Shigure bowed his head. "Arisa-chan and Kyou-kun were creating a sweet scene in the kitchen earlier, and now Yuki-kun and Saki-chan are exchanging loving glances over the dinner table. Ah... spring has come to our house at last it seems." His voice and mannerisms were that of an indulgent old man.

Hatori looked at him incredulously. Of course, Shigure had noticed the exchange. He noticed everything. But to pull it out so baldly into the open like that he hadn't expected.

The result, as expected once the words had sunk in, was chaos. Yuki flushed and began protesting, and Arisa and Kyou started shouting so simultaneously that their words were indistinguishable. Saki kept eating, seemingly calm.

Shigure smiled internally while outwardly pretending to cower under the younger set's furious denials. That had gotten them off track. It was useful to know that this line of attack would so easily distract them.

Suddenly a small barking fury was in the middle of the argument, making everyone jump about. Kimagure had been roused by the angry voices downstairs. Everyone seemed to be attacking Big Dog. He didn't understand why Big Dog wasn't fighting back. (He was after all the biggest, best dog ever... so he shouldn't have any trouble with stupid mice, cats or whatevers even if they were very big). But as a member as Big Dog's pack he wouldn't be left out of the fight.

Shigure was rather amused by the line of the puppy's thoughts and didn't scold at all. He rather liked the fact that he was adding to the chaos.

"Kimagure-kun!" A shaky voice called out from the stairs. "No! Down!"

Shigure's head whipped around along with everyone else's to see Tooru leaning on the banister of the stairs. The babble of voices went silent, confusing the puppy into stopping his barking as well. Tooru didn't look well; she was pale and sweaty. She looked very small on the stairs.

Shigure had just barely started to rise when he was brushed back by Hatori.

"The patient shouldn't be out of bed." The dragon said firmly and walked over to her hoping that Shigure would take the hint to back off.

"Hatori-san?" Tooru blinked up at him, surprised to see him there.

"Yeah," Arisa popped up from her seat and stood beside the doctor, "You should be in bed."

"Yes." Hanajima said rising, "We'll bring your dinner up there."

"Oh! No... I can eat down here." She tried to protest, "I don't want to be a bother...I should have been the one to make dinner."

"Honda-san isn't a bother." Yuki said suavely taking her hand and turning her back up the stairs. "Honda-san should let us do this for her since she usually works so hard for us."

"And a sick person shouldn't be cooking." Kyou said from the table where he was hurriedly putting a bowl of food together for her. "Besides, it's already made."

Shigure was left sitting with Kimagure as the others bustled Tooru upstairs and back into bed. Hatori returned a moment later.

"I gave her another dose of the benadryl, and the others are making sure she eats." He said shortly.

Shigure nodded and gave Kimagure Yuki's unattended dinner bowl to lick clean. He fully intended to put it back into the cupboard without washing it.

"Shigure." Hatori's voice was serious. "Don't do anything stupid. Yuki is suspicious enough... and that girl makes me nervous."

Shigure nodded and handed the begging Kimagure Kyou's bowl. "Hai, hai, hai..." He gave Hatori a forced grin. "I'll make sure to be careful." He patted the puppy encouragingly, making sure to let him know mentally that he could do this to either boy's food any time he wanted but that Shigure's and Tooru's were off-limits. "Ha-san is so kind to be so concerned for me." He was getting annoyed at Hatori's continual reprisals and constant advice.

"I'm not concerned for you." Hatori's voice was clipped and brusque. "I'm concerned for her. She's not handling this illness well, and the last thing she needs is more drama."

"She's not your concern." Shigure said coldly, offended that Hatori seemed to think he'd be so careless with her. He wanted to say that of course he'd never harm her, or allow harm to come to her. But then, not a little more than a week ago he *had* harmed her.

Hatori stiffened. "As long as she's my patient she's my concern." He wanted to say more but was afraid that Shigure would lock him of Tooru's life out permanently if he did. He had no doubt that Shigure could do it. "Don't strike out at me because you are jealous of Yuki and Kyou." He said finally trying to diffuse the situation by shifting the focus off of him.

Shigure sighed. He didn't know what had happened to him lately. It didn't seem like he could control himself at all. Here he was lashing out at Hatori, his only ally. He'd hurt his precious Tooru. He was used to being the manipulator, to being the master of the game. Now it felt like he was the game-piece, that he wasn't in control of anything much less himself.

"I'm sorry, Ha-san." He said honestly. "This is harder than I thought it would be."

Hatori was relieved that he'd admit some wrongdoing. "I should be heading back." He said reluctantly. "There are other patients who will most likely need me tonight... and I should relieve the attendant with Ritsu."

"Ritsu?" Shigure looked up. Why was the monkey at the honke? He was in college; school should be in session now.

"He caught the flu too, considering how weak it's been making his victims I felt it best that he be taken care of at the honke." Hatori sighed; he wished it had made the excitable boy a little weaker. "He's almost recovered now and he's been the usual handful."

Shigure raised his finger and thumb like he was shooting a gun. "Just remember, `justice!'" He mimed poking at an imaginary person. "It works every time."

Hatori gave that twist to his lips that meant he was smiling. "I was thinking sedatives, lots of them."

"Ha-san!" Shigure laughed, "I'm shocked. That's much more dirty than you usually play."

"I've been spending too much time with you it seems." He shrugged. He paused and seemed to consider something. "Shigure... have you spoken to Ayame lately?"

"Aya?" Shigure looked up from the puppy he was patting encouragingly. "Have you?" Hatori shook his head. The dog frowned, he hadn't heard from the snake since he'd left the house after their unusual `lunch' date a couple weeks ago. It hadn't occurred to him but he should have heard something from him by now. He'd left his robe here. And he should have at least wanted to greet his brother on his return. The silence from that quarter couldn't be good.

Shigure's face went blank in a way that Hatori recognized. He used to get that way over chess when they were kids. He'd stare at board blank-faced and then suddenly move in such a way as to induce a checkmate. Hatori feared the pieces weren't moving so smoothly for him now.

"I'll drop by his place..." Hatori said finally. "It may by nothing." Shigure's face lost its blankness, but his eyes stayed focused inward.

"Tooru should go back to sleep once she's done eating. Do you want me to stay and help get the kids out of her room?" He didn't say that he thought Shigure might not be able to do so without revealing more than he wanted to.

"No..." Shigure said smiling, coming back to himself. He'd enjoy that... he'd just have to be careful about it. "I can handle that. It's doctor's orders, ne? They can't protest doctor's orders."

Hatori nodded shortly. Tooru couldn't have gotten sick at a more inconvenient time. This flu was completely entrenched at the honke, there were new patients everyday. He wished he could stay, but he really shouldn't have left as it was.

"Fine then, I'll leave it to you." He nodded. "I'll see myself out."

"Go and come back safely, Ha-san." Shigure smiled from where he was patting the dog. He waited until the doctor had left before feeding Kimagure Hatori's bowl. Maybe he would wash this one.

***

After an hour had passed Shigure figured it would be safe to venture upstairs and see how Tooru-kun was fairing. An hour was a lot of time. More than long enough to be unsuspicious he thought. He called Kimagure to him and walked up the stairs.

There was an excited babble of voices coming from Tooru's room. It was such a normal, happy sound that Shigure paused just a little back from the threshold. He felt his lips tug up into a smile as the unmistakable sound of Yuki and Kyou arguing floated out into the hallway. It had been a while since things sounded so normal in the house.

He took a soundless step closer and peeked through the doorway. Uotani was describing something that involved a lot of hand waving. Hanajima sat next to Tooru and was brushing out her hair. Kyou stood behind her, leaning against the wall listening and commenting sarcastically on Uotani's story. Yuki was perched lightly on the foot of the bed, smiling at Tooru and tossing in his own comments against Kyou's.

Tooru glowed happily in their center. Shigure's breath caught. She was still pale and she had hollows under her eyes from where her illness had taken its toll, but she looked happy. She didn't have that wariness or tenseness she had around him. She wasn't jumpy or scared. She didn't flinch as Hana slid the brush through her hair. She didn't recoil when Yuki leaned forward to comment on a notebook she held in her lap.

It hit Shigure like slap in the face. He hadn't understood just how much she'd changed. This is what she'd been like before. Before that night in the dark, before their lunch date with Hatori and Ayame, before the trip, before the dress... this is what she'd been like. She'd been happy, unafraid and secure in her place in her unorthodox family.

That was the Tooru he wanted. His jaw clenched. It was the Tooru he could never have. It wasn't possible, not any more. If from the beginning...if he'd done things right... If he'd not tried to bend the world to suit him...

But he hadn't. He'd twisted things around, thinking that he only wanted to use her for a little bit. He'd thought that he could take what he wanted from her, be sated and be done with her. Once he was done her shame would keep her quiet and make her even easier to manipulate in his plans. He'd been such a fool. He'd never have enough of her. He knew now that that was impossible. He loved her. He needed her in his life.

Uotani and Kyou's argument heated up drawing everyone in the room's attention. Shigure's attention stayed focused on Tooru. The minute everyone's attention slipped from her, her shoulders slumped and her smile dimmed to near non-existence. She rubbed her forehead as if it pained her. She looked over to where her Yankee friend was arguing with Kyou and gave a brief smile that slid quickly from her face. Even though she'd been awake a bare hour she looked exhausted.

Yuki glanced back at her and smiled, making some comment. Shigure watched as she sucked in her weariness before the teenager's eyes had reached her. Her smile looked almost genuine. If one hadn't seen her bone-deep weariness a few minutes before there would be no questioning it. Shigure frowned; she shouldn't be forcing herself this way. She was ill.

He was tempted to barge in and pull them all away from her. He wanted nothing more than to drag both boys out be the scruff of their necks and to chase away the girls. But that would be tipping his hand. Instead he gave a mental command to Kimagure.

The puppy was eager to obey him after sitting idle for so long. He bounded into the room, barking loudly as he did a quick circuit of the room before bounding onto the bed. Yuki leapt up. The puppy had never attacked him again after that first day, but he was still wary of it. Kimagure didn't even pause to acknowledge him. He happily sprawled himself across Tooru's lap and licked at her chin.

Everyone had gone silent, startled by the puppy. Shigure took advantage of it before it disappeared.

He put on his best pouting face and sailed into the room. "No fair, no fair... Everyone is having fun but me."

Yuki frowned and had to keep a tight reign on himself to stop from looking at Hanajima. After Shigure's comment at dinner he didn't want to give the dog any more ammunition. He especially didn't want him saying such things in front of Tooru.

Shigure pulled his arms into the sleeves of yukata and flapped them around like a bird. "I wanna play too..." He whined. He sidled up to Kyou and leaned hard against him making him stumble. "Lemme play, lemme play." He stood up suddenly making Kyou who had braced himself to support the dog's weight fall forward. Kyou glared at the older man as he lifted himself off his knees. "That's what I think Kimagure-kun is saying."

On the bed Kimagure gave a short bark of agreement. Exactly. He thumped his tail against the blankets. He looked up at his beloved Best Girl and whined piteously. Play! They hadn't played all day.

Shigure flung himself down across the foot of the bed and rolled back and forth tucking up his arms and legs. Yuki had to leap up or be rolled over. "Now he's saying `Pet Me! Pet Me!'" Shigure tried to match Kimagure's whine. He rolled over onto his back and stretched out, legs flopping over one edge of the bed and arms over the other.

Kimagure rolled over to match him displaying his stomach for Tooru. She giggled and obliged him in a belly rub. He squirmed in pleasure under her hands.

"Me next! Me next!" Shigure said from the foot of the bed, and added before Yuki or Kyou could act on the murder in their eyes. "That's what Yuki and Kyou are thinking."

Both boys recoiled, faces flaming at the image.

"You pervert!" Kyou shouted, his face now as red as his hair.

"Shigure!" Yuki sputtered, at a loss on how to respond.

"Ah..." Tooru started, feebly trying to prevent another fight.

Shigure stood up straight, the movement so sudden that the boys stepped back from haranguing him in surprise.

Shigure put a finger up in the air and went instantly into his serious adult routine. "But what Ha-san is saying is that Tooru should be sleeping now."

Both boys drew back guiltily and looked at Tooru. She tried not to look as tired or as worn as she felt, but it didn't work. Both noted sickly pallor of her skin and the bags under her eyes. She gave a tremulous smile.

Hanajima put the hairbrush down gently on the table and rose. "We'll stop by tomorrow to see Tooru-kun as well."

Uotani stood behind her and nodded. "I'll skip work."

"Ah! You don't have to do that!" Tooru said waving her hands. "Uo-chan's job is very important. And Hana-chan is supposed to watching Megumi-kun tomorrow, isn't she?" She smiled, "I'll be fine, Hatori-san said I just needed to rest."

Uotani looked at Yuki. "That Hatori guy is a good doctor?"

Yuki nodded.

The girls shared a look. "Fine then." Arisa said bending down to hug Tooru from one side while Saki hugged her from the other. "You get better quick," she whispered.

"We need you." Hana whispered from her other side making the girl's eyes shimmer.

"You guys..." Tooru said softly, sniffling.

Yuki and Kyou stood by the door feeling like they were intruding. Shigure stood back ignored against the wall. Hanajima and Uotani stood back from Tooru and walked towards the door, pausing to wave slightly before going out into the hall. Yuki and Kyou followed them downstairs to show them out.

Shigure hung back unnoticed. Tooru kept her head down still petting at a content Kimagure. She was affected anew at her friends' devotion to her. She looked up as she heard a step towards the bed. She looked up blinking at Shigure; she'd forgotten he was there.

"I won't have a chance to say this later." He said softly, and bent down swiftly pressing his lips against her forehead. "Sleep well, my little flower." He cupped her cheek and then kissed her lips before she could react. "Sweet dreams and get well." He pressed his forehead to hers and stared into her eyes. "I need you too."

He stood up quickly and exited before he did something he would regret. Again.

The shimmer in Tooru's eyes spilled over. She hugged Kimagure to her, and slid down into her bed. That Shigure... that was the one she wanted. She fell asleep wondering if there was something wrong with her heart, it felt like it was going to burst.

***

The next morning went surprisingly smooth. Yuki and Kyou both checked on Tooru multiple times briefly but she stayed sound asleep through their whole morning routine. Shigure stayed in bed until the boys roused him forcibly. He'd been awake from the moment he first heard a stir upstairs but faked his usual laziness keeping in mind Hatori's warning from yesterday.

He yawned his way through Kyou's instructions on how to heat up Tooru's breakfast. He nodded his head carelessly as Yuki went over all of Hatori's care instructions.

He almost took it too far. When Yuki said he might stay home to watch over Tooru himself Shigure teased him about wanting alone time with the girl and that he shouldn't press her while she was ill. Yuki blushed and glanced at a glaring Kyou.

He waved his hand casually at them as they left for school, assuring them that he'd watch over their precious princess.

Finally they were gone. This routine was getting so hard. He shook out his tense muscles and walked into the kitchen. He sent out a mental question to Kimagure assuring himself that Tooru still hadn't stirred. He walked into the kitchen and began heating up her breakfast. He'd have to wake her in a little while at least to eat and to take her medicine.

He put the porridge on a covered tray and poured her a glass of juice. He shook out her morning dose and set everything out on a tray. He warned Kimagure he was on his way up and walked carefully upstairs.

The door was slightly ajar and he pushed it open. Tooru lay sleeping curled up in the center of her bed. Kimagure looked up from his position at the end of the bed.

Shigure put down the tray and scratched him behind the ears. "Good boy." Kimagure had been guarding Best Girl diligently. The puppy squirmed happily under his praise. Shigure smiled, he had to say it was an ego boost having the puppy around. The slightest word from him made the puppy's day.

Kimagure licked at his hand. ::Go outside now?:: He'd been still for soooooooo long. The whole morning! But he hadn't wanted to leave Best Girl alone. But if Big Dog was going to watch her...

Shigure smiled at the turn of his thoughts. "Go ahead." The puppy didn't look back, leaping off the bed, out the door and down the stairs.

The man turned back and looked at the bed. He should wake her up; she needed to eat and to take her medicine.

But she looked so peaceful. Her hair was spread out behind her on the pillow and the sunlight from her window made her seem angelic. His precious Tooru, he just wanted to be close to her just for a little while.

Shigure gently pulled back the covers and slid between the sheets. He carefully eased himself down onto the bed, careful not to wake her. He just wanted to be near her for a little bit, to smell her again, to hold her. He scootched in close to her form. She was curled up like a cat, making her small form seem even tinier. He moved a little closer curling himself around her. Tooru seemed to sense his warmth and snuggled back a little.

Shigure thought that just being next to her would be enough. It wasn't nearly enough. He wanted to hold her. He put his hand on her hip...and waited to see her reaction. Would she wake? He didn't know what he wanted, for her to wake or to keep sleeping. If she kept sleeping, he could stay next to her... If she woke, he didn't know what her reaction would be. She stirred and he held his breath.

"Shigure...san?" She said sleepily. She was muzzy-headed from the medicine and comfortably warm. She'd gotten accustomed to waking up next to him in the short time they'd been together. In her not-quite-awake state his warmth at her back was a welcome one.

Shigure gave a sigh of relief and his arm snaked around her hip over her stomach. He dragged her back closer to him and buried his nose in her hair.

"Shigure-san?" Tooru was a little more awake and starting to stiffen in his arms.

He grimaced but kept his tone light. "Sh...Please, just for a little bit... I miss my little flower..."

"Go back to sleep." He whispered, feeling in her too lax limbs her illness-induced exhaustion.

Tooru blinked into her pillow, she was so tired that she could hardly think straight. She started to drift off, shifting back closer to the solid warmth behind her. She jerked awake as she started to lean backwards.

Shigure felt her jerk under his hands. "What's wrong...?" He asked afraid that she was going to say she couldn't sleep with him there. Now that he had her in his arms he was completely unwilling to let her go just yet.

"If I lean back...." She said pausing to yawn hugely, "Shigure-san will transform..."

Shigure realized just how close he'd gotten to her. There were just a couple of hands breaths between them. Reaching behind him, he took one of her thick pillows from the top of the bed.

He put it between her back and his chest. He wasn't sure if this would work. Clothes didn't seem to make a difference in triggering the curse.... but objects did. Would a flimsy object like a pillow make any difference? There was only one way to test it. He tugged her back against him, the pillow flattening but keeping them separate.

He released a breath he hadn't known he was holding. He hadn't transformed. He made a little noise in the back of his throat and wrapped both arms around her hand crushed her to him.

Tooru made a sleepy protest at his sudden move and then snuggled into his arms. Her mind had decided this must be a dream. Shigure couldn't hug her like this after all. She squirmed in his arms, a little uncomfortable in how tight he was holding her. She managed to turn herself and snuggled into the pillow separating them, burrowing as close as she could.

Shigure just kept holding her as tight as he could. She was sound asleep now, and boneless in his grip. He threaded his legs in hers and got them thoroughly entangled.

He breathed deep; Tooru's scent was spiked with scents of her illness and sweat from not bathing. It didn't matter, it was her scent and he wanted to coat himself in it. His breathing slowed to match hers. He'd been up most of the night, waking at every noise thinking it was her. He drifted off to sleep wrapped around her.

Tooru woke up, suddenly and unsure of her surroundings. Her eyes opened wide, but all she could see was white. Her hands splayed out, the white was squishy. Her eyes drooped shut again, she was very warm, and felt very comfortable. Whatever had startled her awake didn't seem very important.

She rubbed her face into the white squishy thing, and her mind supplied the answer to what it was. Pillow. Ah...that made sense. She wrapped her arms around it. It wouldn't be the first time she went to sleep or woke up hugging a pillow.

Shigure woke up as he felt Tooru's arms wrap around him. He almost jerked back, forgetting the presence of the pillow.

Tooru froze. Her arms were wrapped around something that gave off heat. Pillows didn't give off heat. Shigure was awake enough to realize what had happened, and was enjoying it thoroughly.

Tooru's hands started to slide back and he made a rumble of complaint. Tooru's arms froze and she asked in a small voice, "Shigure-san?"

"Hai... It's me," Shigure said his voice low and tinged with amusement. Obviously she'd been too out of it earlier to remember him crawling into bed with her. Her arms started to withdraw and he said quickly, "Please...just a little longer."

Tooru's arms froze; not quite holding him any longer, but not letting him go either. He ran his hand down her arm and tugged it back to its former position. "Please." He repeated softly.

"Shigure-san?" She repeated, feeling a little fission of fear bubbling up between the warmth and comfort of his arms.

Shigure heard it and winced. "I'm sorry, Tooru-kun... I just had to be near you for a little bit..." He snuggled closer, tightening his grip around her willing her to relax. "And Tooru-kun didn't protest earlier."

It took all his willpower to say the next words, and he wasn't sure if he'd be able to meet the promise in them if she asked it. "If you want me to leave I will..." He quickly followed up with a slight squeeze, "But this is comfortable, ne? I've missed this, waking up by my little flower..."

Tooru blinked back tears, she'd missed this too. Shigure felt her hands clench his yukata and her face pressed into the pillow between them. He could feel her nose poking him through it and gave out an unexpected, and very embarrassing, giggle.

Tooru looked up at him, her chin now pressing against the pillow. He could see the confusion and the sparkle of her tears on her lashes.

"Sorry." He said softly tucking a stray hair behind her ear, "That tickled." She was startled into a laugh of her own.

"Why?" she asked after a moment, her voice very small.

"Why?" Shigure repeated, confused.

"Why can't it be like this...?" She rubbed her cheek into the pillow.

Shigure held her tight for a moment, considering his words. "It can be like this." He said softly. He tucked his head down and kissed her forehead. Tooru closed her eyes and leaned into his kiss. She wanted to believe that, she wanted to believe that so badly.

Then a flash of his form looming over her bed in the dark flashed behind her eyes and she shuddered in his arms. "But..." She said as her eyes flooded with tears, "But Shigure-san... that night... it wasn't like this...."

"Why?" She said hiccupping, her hands fisting in his yukata.

Shigure clutched her shuddering form tight. Why? She asked him the one question he couldn't answer. But he had to, or risk losing her forever.

"Because..." He said softly, speaking into her hair, "Because... Because I needed Tooru-kun..." His voice grew rough, "Because I needed her and she wasn't there."

Tooru shivered under his hands and he responded by wrapping himself around her. His voice was tight, but he kept it as even as he could. Tooru could hear the rawness under his normal smooth tones. "I asked too much...but I needed you... I... I lost my temper..."

That was a gross understatement. 'I lost my temper' didn't in any way encompass what had happened. It had felt like he'd been swallowed in a sea of darkness, a maelstrom of jealousy, angry, and betrayal. He'd acted before he'd realized it, and what he'd done to her unthinking, in the sway of those emotions...

"Oh... Tooru..." his voice cracked. "I'm so sorry..."

Tooru let herself be pressed against the pillow, even though it was getting a little hard to breathe in Shigure's grip. He sounded... destroyed. He sounded like she felt. Her arms wrapped around him, matching his grip. If he felt like that... he sounded like he really meant it.

"It's so confusing..." Tooru said.

Shigure chuckled. "Mmm..." He said agreeably. "But we don't have to think about it right now, ne?"

"Just for a little while..." Shigure continued, "Just for a little while longer... lets just stay like this."

Tooru closed her eyes, completely willing to just let it go for a little while. Shigure's arms were tight against her and his body's warmth was seeping through her, even through the pillow. Even though her mind was reluctant it was having an effect on her body in other ways as well. She felt the familiar warmth snaking through her belly, it wasn't quite arousal, but it wouldn't take much to get it there.

Shigure shifted a little his lips again kissing at her forehead and then pressing his cheek against the side of her head burying his nose into her hair again. He nuzzled at her, wanting to get so much closer to her than he could.

Tooru lifted her chin, minimally but it was all the invitation that Shigure needed to begin kissing at her neck, slow, brief kisses that made her skin tighten in response.

Tooru let a low sigh escape from her, the soft feel of his lips making her feel tense and relaxed at the same time. This. This. This.... this was what she wanted. Shigure said that they could have it. He said they didn't have to think about that night and what had happened.

It would be so easy to just... let it go... to just not think about it anymore. She didn't want to think about it, she wanted to pretend like it never existed... She brought her hands up under his arms and tugged him closer lifting her face to his. Shigure took the hint and the lips she offered kissing her lightly, testing her resolve and then deepened the kiss. His tongue ran gently along the edge of her teeth teasing her to open her mouth to him further.

She obliged haltingly, and he kissed her like he'd been longing to for what seemed like forever. One of his hands stroked at her back feeling her muscles tense and relax as he teased her with the long drawn out kiss.

Shigure felt his need rising and realized he was going to have a problem shortly. He broke off the kiss and impishly kissed the tip of her nose, startling her into opening her eyes. Her big brown eyes blinking up at him in pure astonishment was too much to resist and he kissed her again while she was looking at him.

Her eyes started to droop shut again and he reached down and pinched lightly at her rear. She `eeped' and her eyes went open again. Shigure smiled into his kiss, making her feel his playful amusement. He wanted those eyes on him. He wanted to see everything she was feeling.

Tooru felt him begin to press against her in more intimate ways and felt a coil of nervousness. They hadn't done that since...the night she didn't want to remember.

Shigure read the uncertainty in her eyes and as much as he wanted to bury himself in her right now, and as sure as he was that he could make that happen... he knew he shouldn't let it go that far.

Instead he took the hand that had pinched her and slid it down to caress her leg and then down between her legs. Her legs clamped together briefly and then relaxed, letting him stroke her through her pajama bottoms.

"Ne... we're a little unprepared right now...." He said softly, gently moving his fingers against the cloth, "but there are still things we can do... if Tooru-kun wants to..." He kissed at her neck, waiting for a response.

Tooru's thoughts were hard to arrange. Prepared? Oh...Hatori... protection...babies... that kind of prepared...

She was thinking again.

Tooru looked up at him deliberately and spread her legs just wide enough to be an obvious invitation. She didn't want to think right now. She wanted to lose herself in him. She wanted, for a little while longer, to let him chase away any and all fear and doubt in her.

She was so tired of being unsure, so tired of being afraid. As Shigure's hand pulled down her pants just far enough to give him access, she focused on the feelings he was invoking and not on what had happened the last time she'd felt his hands on her.

Shigure moaned as he slid a finger inside her. It lifted the scent of her budding arousal to his nose. He felt himself tighten; he'd hardly needed any encouragement to perform that was almost too much. He felt like a teenager, hard at a mere thought. He'd have a difficult time not burying into her. But he had to concentrate on her now, not on his needs.

He waited until Tooru was clutching his fingers tight before he moved up to rub at her clit with his thumb. It took hardly a touch before she came, shuddering in his arms. She tilted up her head and he kissed her deeply teasing her lightly with his tongue.

He started to draw back from her but her hand ran up his back and clutched him to keep him from moving. He groaned as he felt her heat brushing against him as she twined their legs tighter.

"Oh, God, Tooru don't." He ground out. "I won't be able to stop. Don't."

The girl looked up at him and the need in her eyes made him press against her automatically. He groaned again and she kissed him this time. When his hands were on her, when he was touching her nothing else existed. She wanted to be in that moment a little longer. She wasn't thinking of the consequences or what would be happen later. She wasn't thinking of what had happened before. Tooru wanted to just let it all go.

Shigure's hands slid up from her hips, one stroking her back and the other coming forward to cup a breast. The nipple was already a hard pebble that he teased it with his fingers. She could feel his erection pressing against her stomach and squirmed trying to place it where her body demanded it. Shigure gasped.

The fog of sexual attraction was thick in his mind but he fought it back. "Tooru..." He brought his hands up to her shoulders and pushed her back. "We can't."

She looked up at him. "Please," she whispered through a thickening throat. She needed this, she needed a moment of peace. "Please... Shigure-san said that there were still things that we could do..."

Not sure of his control, he knew he should refuse her. He should press her back, reassure her, calm her and leave her to her breakfast. But he couldn't.

"Touch me..." He said softly taking her hand, pushing aside his yukata and putting it over his straining erection. He sucked in a breath as he felt her grasp him in her little hand. He helped her start a rhythm and then slid his hand down to match it on her clit. Her hand sped up as he felt her wetness grow.

He slipped his fingers inside and kept the pressure steady against her button. She jerked against his hand and her hand on him clenched a little tighter. He bit back a curse as his hips automatically pumped into her hand. This wasn't enough, it wasn't nearly enough.

"Sit up..." He said, removing his hands and doing the same himself. Tooru sat up moaning at the loss of his fingers. She kept her hand loosely around his length. He groaned but removed it. He turned her so that she was facing away from him, but kept her close enough that he felt the need to keep the pillow between them.

He sat Indian style and lifted her up so that she sat on his lap her legs spread. His erection jutted up between her legs, and he could feel her slick folds against it. He put her hands back on it and kissed at her neck.

Moaning at the heat of him so near where she wanted it, she couldn't help from moving her hips against it as she moved her hands along his length.

She folded her legs back, giving her more stability against him and thrust her hips. She could feel him against her. He matched her moan with one of his; her slickness rubbing against the root of him while her hands massaged the rest was just too good. He reached around to grab a breast. He fondled it as his other hand snaked down to tease at her folds, finding the eager nub there.

She arched and her head struck against his neck. He turned her head so that he could catch her lips and caught her in a kiss. There lips met and parted and met again as Tooru bounced against him. He finally caught her in a deep kiss, pulling her back against the pillow between them and thrusting his tongue in her mouth. She accepted it eagerly.

Her hands explored his length as the wetness from her slit coated him and made him slick. She rubbed a thumb against the sensitive tip and he jerked in her hands his hips thrusting forward. She moaned and squirmed and he jerked again. He pressed harder and faster against her clit, trying to keep up with her hands on him.

She ran her hands over the slit at the top and mixed his moisture with hers on his length. His hands were insistent against her, leading her higher and higher. She could feel her body clenching and rubbed herself harder against his cock.

Shigure felt a gush of wetness against him, she was getting close. His body began to clench in response.

"Oh, Tooru... I'm going-" He started.

Tooru came against him before he could finish the sentence, her hands clenching and her hips pressing against him. He gasped and his own climax came, the cum spouting up to spatter against her hands and legs. Tooru leaned against him, breathing hard. Shigure's hands came up to heft and fondle her breasts a little surprised at how strongly he'd reacted. He gathered her up to him in a tight hug, the pillow the only thing keeping them apart. She was exhausted and boneless in his grip again.

"Tired already?" He said, his lips teasing against her ear. "Well, my little flower is ill."

Tooru hid her face in his neck, too tired to even be embarrassed. She was just content to be held for a little while. Shigure shifted so that he could pick her up a little. He pulled up her pajama bottoms and smoothed her hair back from her face. "Tooru should rest, but first she should take her medicine and eat." He didn't move though loving that she was so trusting in his arms.

Tooru looked at her hands, sticky from their hard work before. Shigure saw the look and pursed his lips. "Yes, we should take care of that. But first your medicine." He picked up the capsules delicately. He waggled his eyebrows at her and Tooru opened her mouth automatically. He popped them in and held the juice up for her to drink. She swallowed down the pills. Shigure watched the muscles of her throat work and swallowed himself. He'd just had a taste of her and all he wanted to do was have more. He didn't think he'd ever be satisfied. But now wasn't the time. He shifted so that his legs were on the edge of the bed and stood with her still in his arms.

"Shigure-san?!" Tooru said clutching at his arms, the sudden movement rousing her from the light doze she'd started to fall into.

"We have to get you cleaned up." He said reasonably. He took a few quick strides and was out in the hall and walking towards the bathroom. He nudged the bathroom door open with his toe. He looked around the room and then set Tooru down carefully on the counter the pillow that had been trapped between them falling to the floor. He picked it up and set it behind Tooru gently arranging her so that she was reclined against it.

"Just a moment." He smiled and put together a tub of bathing supplies. He glanced at Tooru and found her asleep against the pillow. He sighed, but took advantage of the moment to quickly disrobe and get things ready in the bathroom proper.

He turned on the tap in the tub filling it up. He went over to the showerhead on the wall and turned it on to making the whole room fill up with steam. He set out a low square stool and put the tub beside it and returned to collect Tooru.

She roused as he picked her up. She flushed when she saw that he was nude, but was careful not to struggle, afraid he would transform. He stood her up, made sure she could stand on her own and then hooked his hands into the waistband of her pjs.

Tooru gasped as he tugged them down so that they pooled around her feet. "Shigure-san..." She started to protest, but he looked up at her and started to unbutton her shirt.

"Ne, Tooru can't bathe in her clothes..." He said and pushed the shirt of her shoulders and down her arms to join the pants on the floor. Once she was naked, he reached around and picked her up again. He really loved her weight in his arms. She gasped but he didn't give her much of a chance to react carrying her into the bathroom and sitting her on the stool.

He sat behind her and picked up the showerhead. He sprayed it against her back. She stiffened in surprise as the warm water sluiced down her back.

He pushed her hair aside and kissed her neck. "Relax, let me know if it's too hot..."

He ran the water up and down her back down in a steady cadence. Her head fell forward as it seeped into her. He brought the head closer and ran it down an arm, back up and then down the other. She was falling asleep where she sat. He smiled, so sweetly trusting. He brought the showerhead up and wet her hair.

He clicked the head off and reached into the tub. He lathered his hands up with soap and then spread them against her shoulders massaging as he went. He lathered her back up, and she leaned into his hands murmuring in sleepy contentment.

He slid hands down her arms, soaping her up until she was slick. He could feel himself starting to twitch at the silky smoothness of her skin. He hadn't intended for this to go in that direction and sternly told his body to behave.

His body ignored him and told his hands to wander to her front and heft the weight of her breasts. Tooru stiffened and then relaxed, too tired to protest something that felt so good. His hands were slick with soap and sliding over her skin felt very nice. He soaped up her breasts, teasing at her slowly hardening nipples.

One of his hands slid down to test at her folds. She was slick with the water he'd poured over her and his fingers slid in easily. She moaned and her hand came to cover his, keeping it there while her other braced against his knee. He'd hardly realized how close he'd come up behind her. His rising erection was beginning to press against the slick crack of her rear. He moved against her and kissed her neck again.

Tooru became rigid against him when she felt his erection against her ass. She had a flash of a punishment from that first day they'd been together after Yuki and Kyou left. She squirmed, uncomfortable in the memory. It touched a little too closely to what had happened later. His fingers inside her touched a particularly sensitive spot and she arched and gave a mewing cry.

Shigure sensed her change in mood. She'd become tense under his hands. Her hand on his knee had become a fist. He slowly drew his hands away. Her head drooped forward in relief. She turned and looked at him.

"I'm sorry Shigure-san..." She started.

"Shh...shh..." He said softly, soothingly. He kissed her shoulder and nuzzled at her neck. "Tooru is tired, I understand."

They both knew it was more than that, but she was willing to let it go at that for now. He picked up the showerhead and rinsed the soap from her body. He went slow; both to relax her and to calm himself.

He soaked her hair and worked shampoo into it. She leaned into his fingers with a pleased sigh that almost had him rising again. He rinsed her hair clean, savoring her fresh clean scent. When she was free of soap her lifted her again, and gently laid her in the still hot water of the tub.

He leaned against the edge and looked at her drowsily reclining in the tub. "I'll go re-heat your breakfast." He said twining her fingers with his and giving the tips a kiss. "Don't fall asleep in the tub."

"Shigure-san isn't...?" She trailed off unsure if she had really wanted him to join her in the tub or not. The small window of time her heart had allowed her to set aside that night in the dark was closing.

Shigure shook his head. Just seeing her naked form beneath the still waters of the bath was reawakening his desire. He wouldn't be able to keep his hands off her. He could see the wariness and tenseness starting to creep back into her. It wouldn't be a good situation.

"Tooru-chan needs to rest and get better." He stood and walked to the door. "I'll fetch you when your breakfast is ready."

Tooru slipped into the water with a little nod. She leaned against the rim of the tub and looked up at the ceiling. Her hand came up to her chest, her knuckles brushed against a still hard nipple. That dark needing look in his eyes as he looked at her in the bath had her whole body tightening for him. Her body wanted him, and Shigure was so entrenched in her heart; confusing it and making it ache with uncertainty. How had he gotten there? Even though there had been that awful night, he was so deep inside her that she didn't think she'd ever be free of him. She didn't know if she wanted to be despite her fear of that night in the dark.

* * *

Shigure slipped back into his yukata and walked quickly down the hall before he could regret not slipping into the tub with Tooru. It was too late for that a little voice said inside him. He staunchly ignored it. He checked her tray of food. The porridge was ice cold. He glanced at the clock. He couldn't even call it breakfast anymore, they were broaching on lunch.

He walked down, reheated the food and checked to make sure that Kimagure wasn't getting into too much trouble. The puppy was still running himself silly in the woods behind the house, expelling pent up energy. Shigure shook his head and decided not to disturb him.

He brought the bowl back upstairs and into Tooru's room. He sat it on the bedside table and walked down to the bathroom. He rapped lightly on the door.

"Tooru-chan?" He called softly. He didn't get a response. He bit his lip and peeked his head in the door. It wasn't that he thought Tooru would be upset at him seeing her nude, but he didn't want to startle her. Of course, she'd been so sleepy earlier. What if she'd fallen asleep in the bath?

He stepped in side and tried to make the padding of his bare feet against the tiles of the bathroom loud. He entered into the bathing area proper just in time to see Tooru rise up from underneath the water of the tub and sit up.

His mouth fell open and he felt his body rise in response to the water cascading down her body. It ran over her like a caress, trailing through all the intimate areas of her. She pushed back her hair, letting it flop wetly against her back and making her breasts jiggle. Her nipples were hard and he felt himself tighten in response.

God he wanted her.

Tooru heard movement by the door and jumped. Shigure was standing there, staring. His eyes were ranging over her body and her already hard nipples began to ache. Her stomach clenched along with other parts of her body in need. Her lips parted in a soft sigh and she felt parts of her go liquid. One wanting look from him and her whole body felt like it was lit up by a live wire. She stood up, her body zinging.

Shigure swallowed as he watched a slow flush wash over her. She wanted him too. He could see it all over her body. His cock jumped under the folds of his yukata. You can't have her now, he told himself firmly. Not in the way he wanted her.

He turned away from her with an internal groan.

It almost felt like a physical slap when Shigure broke the connection between them. Tooru looked at his back and felt her stomach begin to churn. "Sh-Shigure-san?" She said tremulously.

"Just..." He coughed, trying to loosen a throat thickened with desire. "Just seeing if you needed help getting out of the bath."

"Ah..." Tooru felt her whole body throbbing in time with her heartbeat. "No." She said softly. "I'm fine." She was only all twisted up inside. She was only so confused that she didn't know which way she was going. She decided to get out of the bath before she confused herself even more.

She started to step out when she felt her foot slip on the slick bottom of the tub. Her equilibrium, never all that good to begin with, was further confused by her weariness, illness and confusion. She yelped and started to fall backwards out of the tub.

Shigure was there in an instant. He caught her before she fell too far backwards, hooking his hands under her armpits. Her weight was too far off her feet to recover securely in the bath so he gently slid her backwards and out. He gently dropped to a knee; unable to support her in the position he was in.

He held her cradled loosely in his arms her slick body resting against his knee and pressed to the crux of him. They were both breathing hard, shocked at how closely Tooru had come to seriously hurting herself. They stared into each other's eyes, and their pants transformed from ones of shock to passion. Shigure's head hesitantly dipped forward, and Tooru's met his halfway in a desperate kiss.

His hands swept up her slick side to fondle at a breast. He slowly lowered her to the floor. Unwilling to let their mouths separate for a moment, Tooru kept her arms loosely latched around his neck. Shigure kept his hands on a constant roam of her body, up and down her sides, chasing over her nipples and then brought a hand down to her slick folds. Tooru pressed up against his hand, pressing his fingers deep inside her.

Even as she moved against him Tooru wondered what possessed her. This need was unstoppable. But this was the man she'd been quaking in fear of for the past week. It had been such a short time since that night in the dark, but now here she was bucking against his hand. All he'd done was look at her. What kind of person was she?

Shigure pushed aside his yukata and slid between her legs, his own need making him rush. Tooru moaned at the loss of his fingers. He could feel the head of his cock just gently brushing against her opening. She squirmed against him. He barely kept himself from thrusting in to the hilt, instead kept himself and his head teasing against her clit. He'd come nearly after entering, he was so hard, and so he had to get her ready first. Shigure opened eyes he hadn't realized he'd closed and stared into Tooru's. He could see the need in her eyes, but also a growing panic.

He understood how she felt. It was how he'd been feeling for days, out of control, obsessed and desperate for her. It was if the world suddenly aligned for him and he realized he was a in a perfect moment. Now was the time to seal her back to him. He knew she was just reacting to the fear and stress of the past couple of days. He knew that this explosive need wasn't a rational choice; it was her body's reaction. It knew that this would release everything and make her calm, it didn't care really that it was him. But he knew she didn't understand that.

"Ne... Is Tooru my girlfriend?" He panted, his whole body quaking with the need to bury into her. Unlike her he understood, and he wouldn't let his opportunity pass to make her completely his again.

"Eh?" Tooru asked distractedly. He was so close, she could feel him, just a breath away from where she needed him. Her body was shaking under him. She was shivering in need. "Girlfriend?"

"I can't do this unless I know." Shigure said knowing it was a lie. He'd take her at any opportunity. He belonged inside her. Tooru squirmed under him, lifting her hips a little, pressing his head just past the hungry mouth of her entrance. Shigure growled and drew back. "If Tooru isn't my girl... we can't do this."

Girlfriend, he wanted her as his girlfriend. Tooru felt her whole body heat. That night in the dark was so dim at the moment; she almost forgot why she was hesitating to be his. And she wanted him so badly right now, if she just gave in, if she just admitted she wanted him this much she could have him.

"I'm... I'm Shigure's girl." She stammered out. "I want to be Shigure's girlfriend." Then she cried out as Shigure buried himself in her. Her legs wrapped up around him and held him there. She'd come the moment he'd pressed in.

"Tooru is mine." Shigure growled, bringing her legs up and over his shoulders. He slammed into her on the wet floor, knowing that she'd regret this later. That he'd put her in her room and she'd cry at the thought that she'd told him she was his. But he didn't care; she'd said it and he'd hold her to it. It would take a while, but he'd make her love him too. He felt her clenching again, about to cum and released himself. She came and then flopped back against the floor panting.

Shigure lifted her up and put her back over on the stool, chuckling weakly. "And just after we'd gotten you all cleaned up." He turned on the showerhead and turned it on her legs washing their pleasures away.

Tooru gasped. Her eyes flew wide open. The water was cold. Shigure smiled as he watched her body quiver at the cold water, and felt himself twitch again. Her nipples were pointing straight out. He brought the stream of water up her legs and to the join between her legs. Her knees started to move together, but he gently pressed them apart.

"We have to get you clean." He smiled and her legs opened. He pointed the stream of water into her folds and she yelped and squirmed. The jet of water was sluicing over her, and the coldness made the little head of her clit come out of its folds.

He smiled watching her squirm at the steady rhythm of the water. He angled the head a little and the jets went into her. She gaped and nearly fell forward onto him, the icy water inside the hot flesh making her whole body tremble. Shigure pulled the showerhead away and placed his mouth over her.

The sudden shock of his hot mouth over her and his fiery tongue probing inside her chilled flesh made her cry out. She hardly realized that she'd grabbed handfuls of his hair. Shigure smiled and stuck his tongue as far as it could go, feeling her warm wetness gush out. She came again quickly. He didn't stop, lapping at her to keep this heated exchange going.

Tooru's hands slowly slid from his hair as she realized he wasn't going anywhere. She braced herself against the stool with them behind her rear. Her legs spread further and further apart as Shigure slowly brought her back up to burning need.

"Oh, oh, oh, oh..." Tooru chanted, as his tongue would dip in and then out and then tease up at her clit. "Oh..."

He stopped suddenly and Tooru cried out. He stripped off his sodden yukata and threw it to the side. "Ne... I'm dirty too." Shigure said gesturing to his hardened member. He pulled Tooru up and she looked up at him in confusion. He smiled at her and kissed her. She could taste herself on his lips. His fingers chased across her pussy. "But it feels like Tooru isn't completely clean yet herself."

"What can we do?" Shigure asked playfully. "Ah... I have it. Tooru can clean me while I clean her..." He pulled her gently down to the floor with him. He placed the stool over his stomach and gently guided her to lie across it. It kept her just far enough above him that there wasn't a risk of her falling against his chest and transforming him, while keeping her in the perfect position. Now they could both reach each other's sexes.

Shigure put his mouth back to her, and she got the idea of what he wanted her to do. Shigure tried to keep his hips from bucking at the feel of her mouth on him. He sped up his tongue instead and she got the idea to move faster.

He'd taught her well when it came to this. She dipped up and down at a fast rhythm. She sucked hard at him and used her hands on any part she didn't have covered. Shigure was hard up to keep up with her speed. He responded by going slower, keeping control of the rhythm by his speed on her body. Tooru slowed to match him, taking slow languorous dips on his length. He groaned into her, which made her wiggle delightfully.

Then she made some move with her tongue right over the tip of him and it just sent him suddenly and inexplicably over the edge. He exploded and Tooru ended up taking it mostly in the face. He cried out his teeth just barely skimming over her nub. She shuddered into her own release. She went limp on the stool.

Shigure gently eased out from under the stool. Tooru had passed out, the last being too much for her weakened state. Shigure gathered her up and used a corner of his yukata to clean her face. She roused sleepily; barely comprehending he was there. He felt a stab of guilt, he'd pressed too hard, taken too much again.

He wrapped her in a robe and carried her back to her room in the nude. He roused her enough to feed her the now lukewarm porridge. She was limp and pliant; their session in the bathroom had caused just the reaction Shigure had thought it would. It had purged all her demons, at least for the time being. The release of all that pent up stress, confusion and frustration left her practically comatose in relief. She didn't even protest that he hand fed her each spoonful of the porridge as he cradled her in his arms. He wrapped her up in her blankets and tucked her in. She was asleep before he'd laid her flat.

He padded down the stairs, still naked. His yukata was soaked beyond wearing. He put on a fresh one and tried to think. What had he just done? Tooru might have purged her demons, but it had reawakened his. He'd just managed to get Tooru to promise to be his girlfriend, knowing it would cause her nothing but grief and self-doubt. And he couldn't work up any regret about it. All he had was excitement.

Tooru had just promised to be his. She'd regret it. He knew that. Once she knew what he was...she'd regret it.

Shigure nearly jumped out of his skin when Kimagure started barking madly out on the lawn. He ran a hand through his wet hair and stepped out of his study, sending out a questing thought to the puppy. The puppy sent back a confused mental image, a mix of girl scent and the unmistakable image of a boar. That could only mean one thing... Kagura had come to visit.

Kimagure was at war with himself. Just like Big Dog, Mouse and Cat... this person-shaped thing was not what it seemed. It may have looked like a girl, but it was really a boar. He was pretty sure that Best Girl should be protected from boars. Boars could be dangerous. That meant that he should keep Boar Girl away from her. But... she was a girl. Girls were soft and cushy. Girls knew all the best places to pet and scratch. Kimagure whined and growled, unsure what he should do with the girl standing wide eyed in front of him clutching a cascade of paper cranes.

Shigure chuckled at the line of the dog's thoughts. "Ne, Kimagure, shut up." He said stepping out onto the porch. Kimagure sat down and looked back up at the dog.

"Ne, Shi-chan," Kagura said a deep pout in her voice, "Since when have you had a dog?" She shifted uncomfortably looking at the puppy nervously.

"He's Tooru-kun's." Shigure shrugged, "You know how she likes to take care of strays." He smiled. "Don't worry, he just likes to bark. Pet him and he'll be your friend for life." Shigure followed up his words with reassurance to the puppy that even though she looked like a boar, she was still a girl. The kind of girl that really liked to pet, scratch and rub tummies.

Kimagure's ears pricked and his tail began to wag. The girl looked uncertain, so he quirked his ears and stretched his paws out in front of him. He cocked his head, and went into his best `cute' mode.

Predictably, Kagura melted under the onslaught. "Awww..." She cooed and scratched him behind his ears.

"Shigure-san?" Shigure started and looked over his shoulder. Tooru had dressed in a clean set of pjs and was wrapped tight in her robe. Her wet hair fell about her hunched shoulders as she stood shakily at the bottom of the steps. "I heard Kimagure barking..."

"Ah! Tooru-chan!" Kagura rushed forward, trailed by the puppy. "Sorry! I didn't mean to get you out of bed! I heard from Hatori-nii that you were ill and came to visit."

"Kagura-san?" Tooru's eyes widened. Her eyes darted to Shigure's. She wondered if Kagura would notice that both her and Shigure's hair was wet. She began to tremble.

"Ah, Tooru-chan should be in bed!" Kagura began bustled her up the stairs. "Your hair is all wet! You'll get even more ill if you stand outside like this. What would Hatori-nii say?" She turned to Shigure, "Shi-chan hasn't been taking good care of you."

Shigure smiled and waved a careless hand, "That's why I'm lucky Kagura-chan has come to visit. With our little flower ill, we've all been lost. But, ne, Kagura-chan, you've picked a strange time to come visit. Kyou-kun isn't home."

Kagura paused, her hands still squarely in the center of Tooru's back where they were pushing her up the stairs. Her hair shielded her face. "I know. That's why I came now." She said in a small voice. She lifted her head and smiled widely. "But enough of that, Tooru-chan must get to bed! Bed!" She propelled Tooru to the top of the stairs and then looked back down at Shigure. "And Shi-chan must make soup for Tooru-chan!"

"Soup?" Shigure asked, nonplussed. It was obvious he'd hit a nerve when he'd asked about Kyou. Had the boy finally made his feelings clear to her?

Kagura gave a lusty sigh. "Never mind! I don't trust Shi-chan in the kitchen anyway." She started to push Tooru past the corner.

"Hey!" Shigure protested. "Kagura-chan is too cruel! I'll have you know that I can make oatmeal all by myself!" He shouted up the stairs.

"Then make that then!" Kagura called back pushing Tooru into her room.

Shigure's brow puckered. How had he just gotten roped into making lunch? Tooru didn't really need to eat again; she'd just been fed the breakfast porridge Kyou had made. However, it was lunchtime and he didn't really feel like explaining to Kagura why exactly Tooru was having such a late lunch. Shaking his head he went into the kitchen to attempt to make a pot of oatmeal.

Of course, by the time he managed it... it might be dinnertime anyway.

Upstairs Kagura pushed and prodded Tooru back into bed. Once she was settled into bed with a fresh towel wrapped around her hair, Kagura stood and handed Tooru the cranes she'd carelessly thrown on the bedside table before.

"Here, Tooru-chan." She smiled and poured the string of paper birds onto her lap. "A gift to help you feel better."

"Ah!" Tooru gasped. "They're so pretty!" The intricately folded birds were made of pretty pastel colors and delicate subtle patterns on a thick linen cloth. She ran a finger over a delicate beak, "Kagura-san made so many!"

"Ah, no!" Kagura protested with a smile. "I didn't make them; Ri-chan did."

"Ri-chan-san?" Tooru blinked.

"Yes, he's been sick at the Honke. I've been helping take care of him for Hatori-nii when he's busy." Kagura giggled. "Hatori-nii mentioned you were ill too, and Ri-chan insisted that he should do something for you. Hatori-nii suggested these." She touched a wing lightly. "I'm not good at delicate stuff like this. Ri-chan was always good at this kind of thing."

"Ah, I'll have to thank him." Tooru said, touched that he would go to such an effort for her.

"He wrote a note to go along with them." Kagura reached into the purse she had clipped her waist and pulled out an envelope.

Tooru took it in her hand and looked at the neat hand that had inscribed her name. She opened up the card and read the note inside to herself.

Honored Tooru-san,

I was distressed to hear from Hatori-niisan that you had fallen ill from the same flu that has felled many here at the compound. I tried to convince him that he should be caring for you instead of a worthless person like me, but Hatori-niisan has assured me you are receiving the best of care from Shigure-niisan. (I'm sorry for falling ill at the same time you did, I don't deserve to have Hatori-niisan as my doctor when someone like you needs him. I'm so sorry!)

I thought that perhaps I should end my life so that Hatori-niisan, and Kagura-neesan wouldn't be inconvenienced by my weak constitution anymore, but then I remembered that Tooru-san said that we should all keep living. (I'm sorry! That means that Hatori-niisan was kept busy tending me instead of visiting you! I'm so sorry!!)

It may be forward for me to say, but the memory of Tooru-san's words has done much to keep me moving forward. I am still shamelessly living, even though I don't know why I am here. I am still looking for the person who I was born to be with, the reason I was placed here on this earth. I still hope to eat takoyaki with that person someday. I still wonder why a person like me, with so many horrible faults continues to exist...but I'm afraid I'll have to continue on for now. Until I find that reason to say `its okay to be here' (as Tooru-san said... maybe I'll find that reason in another's heart, I hope so.), I'll continue to live on shamelessly. I'll try to be bold until that time comes that someone says to me, "Its okay to think of yourself that way." It's probably too much to hope that I can find someone who I can say "I was born to meet you", but I'm still living in the hope of that day.

I thought I might help Tooru-san to hear those words again too, since they helped me. Was that too forward of me? I hope I don't offend you by repeating your words. Ah! This was pretty stupid of me wasn't it? Tooru-san doesn't need to hear her own words! I'm not even worthy to write them! I'm so sorry! Please ignore this! I'm sorry! I'm so stupid, not realizing how idiotic this was before I put it on paper! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

The rest of the note was scratched out and blurred, the Ritsu's nice neat hand becoming an unreadable scrawl. It was unsigned. Tooru looked up at Kagura, question evident in her eyes.

"Ah, sorry." Kagura smiled, "Ri-chan didn't have a chance to finish it completely. Hatori-nii gave him some medicine to calm him down, and I had to leave before he woke up."

"Ha...." Tooru said softly. She looked at the words in her hand and felt a strange stirring in her heart. There was something there, something she'd forgotten.

"Ne...Does Tooru-chan want me to braid up her hair?" Kagura offered.

"Oh! Kagura-san doesn't have to!" Tooru's hand went up to the damp towel on her head. It would feel nice to have her wet hair bound out of the way so she could get rid of that soggy weight. But it would be rude to ask Kagura to do it.

"I want to." Kagura smiled and picked up Tooru's hairbrush. "Secretly, I always wanted a little sister to play with this way." She sat down next to Tooru and looked impish. "When we were little, I used to dress up Ri-chan and play pretend." She had the grace to look slightly chagrined. "I think maybe I might have given him bad ideas."

"Oh, but Ri-chan-san looks so pretty in women's clothes!" Tooru protested, looking over her shoulder at Kagura as she took off her towel.

"Doesn't he?" Kagura agreed, dragging the brush through her hair. "He's been wearing more male clothing lately, but I think that the furisode suits him best...sometimes I see him on campus in male clothes and I almost don't recognize him." She trailed off and she worked at the long wet strands of Tooru's hair.

She began braiding them up tightly from the bottom so the braids would lie neatly against the sides of her head and up to the crown. Tooru could feel the weight of unspoken words choking the air between them.

"Kag-" "To-" They both began.

"Ah! Go ahead!" Tooru burst quickly, flushing. What was she going to ask? Was it something about Shigure's wet hair?

"Oh...Well..." Kagura said hesitantly. "I'm sorry, but I read Ri-chan's note... I didn't mean to, but it wasn't sealed and... it just sort of happened."

"Ah, that's okay." Tooru said, relaxing. "There wasn't anything... private in there."

She felt Kagura nod behind her. "Yes... But it made me curious. Those things you said to Ri-chan... I think it was something really special."

"Ah! It wasn't anything really. I was just babbling." Tooru knocked herself on the head. "Ri-chan-san was always apologizing for existing... but it seemed to me that there has to be a reason for everyone's existence... Be...before..." Kagura's hands slowed as she heard the thickness come into Tooru's voice, "Before I thought I born to meet Mother... Mother said that if that was true then she was very happy. Now that she's gone, I don't know why I'm still here... I hope that someday I'll find someone else who will say that they're happy I was here to meet them...."

Tooru felt a tear roll down her cheek and quickly wiped it away. "Ah! Listen to me! Babbling again... Ah, but Kagura-san is lucky! She already knows who she was meant for. Kyou-kun!"

"Un..."

Tooru turned her head to Kagura at the toneless way she replies. "Kagura-san?"

Kagura's hands dropped to her lap, finished with Tooru's hair. Kagura looked at Tooru sadly. "I know that I was made to love Kyou-kun, but now that Kyou-kun knows why I love him... he can never love me back. I'll never hear him say that he's happy I was here to meet him."

"Kagura-san..." Tooru said softly. "Surely... you can get through to him...." She began hesitantly.

The older girl shook her head. "No. Because I know Kyou-kun so well, I know that I'll never be enough for him." Tears shimmered in Kagura's eyes.

Tooru opened her arms and Kagura fell into them. "Why...?" Tooru asked softly, allowing herself to be crushed in Kagura's embrace.

"When we were little..." Kagura started after a pause, "I saw it... his other form."

Tooru shuddered at the memory of it, that horrible, smelly scary form. Kagura sighed at the trembling she felt under her arms; it made her feel a little better that Tooru was afraid of it too. She wasn't so superhuman as to be able just accept it completely. Sighing, she continued her story.

"For a while, I was afraid of him. Then... I pitied him. His curse was so much worse than all of ours... and he didn't even get to be part of us. It... It made me feel better...Because his burden was worse than mine... I realized that I wasn't so horrible. It was the first time that I began to like myself. I felt good because he was...so pitiable. When I started to love him, it was because it made me feel special and good that I could love someone so horrible..."

"Kagura-chan!" Tooru said pulling back to look her in the face. That was awful! That couldn't be true!

The older girl ducked her head, but then lifted it. Her eyebrows flew down to form an emphatic V as she tried to get Tooru to understand. "But that was just how it started!" She pumped a fist, "Slowly, as I came to *really* know Kyou-kun, I came to learn all the wonderful things about him." Tears began to course down her cheeks. "Ne, he's really special, isn't he? He's not pitiful at all. I didn't understand that when I was little, and now that I do it's too late. Kyou-kun could never be happy to know that I love him... because he'll only ever see my pity."

Tooru embraced her again, "Kagura-san..." She said softly, feeling the girl's tears on her shoulder.

The girl straightened and wiped her eyes. "Ne... But I think I'm going to be shameless too, like Ri-chan. I'll keep on going for now, because someday maybe I will hear those words."

"I'm sure Kagura-san will hear them!" Tooru said grasping her hands. "Kagura-san...!"

"Ne..."

Both girls started apart at Shigure's soft voice in the doorway. He and Kimagure looked at them in confusion, heads curling around the doorjamb. Shigure quirked an eyebrow at Tooru... her tears made him nervous. He could think of several reasons that involved him that would make her cry. Had she broken and told Kagura?

She shook her head a minuscule, urging him not to speak. This was girl talk, not something he should get involved in. Shigure relaxed a little bit, Tooru was as readable as a book to him. If she'd given their secret away, she wouldn't be so calm.

"I have oatmeal." He said lightly. "Ne, Ne... who's going to be the first to try it?"

Kagura stood up, "Ah...thank you Shi-chan, but I should get going."

"Before Kyou-kun gets home?" Shigure said in surprise walking in, carefully not to trip over the puppy threading through his feet. He noted that Tooru flinched at the question. So that was it. Sometime recently Kyou had finally made himself clear. It must be a rough time for Kagura. He set down the oatmeal on the desk near the table. "Well, I'm sure that Ha-san has been appreciating your help at the honke. Ne... Between Rin and now Ritsu... perhaps Kagura-chan should think of becoming a nurse."

Kagura clapped her hands together. "Ne, Shi-chan really things so?"

"Un, Un!" Shigure nodded closing his eyes and patting his hands over his heat, miming a beating rhythm, "Just thinking of Kagura-chan in her cute little nurses uniform warms my heart!" He sighed. The dog opened his eyes. "Ne... this is where you say, `Shi-chan is a pervert!'"

Kagura giggled cutely and formed a fist. "Shi-chan!" She pounded him hard with the fist, making him yelp Kimagure start in surprise. "Is!" She hit him again, driving him towards the hallway. Kimagure yipped in fear and hopped up on the bed and cowered next to Tooru. "A peeeeerrrrveerrrt!" She struck him again and he turned and ran.

Tooru was left to stare after them with her mouth open and a lap full of trembling puppy. She could hear them traveling down the stairs, Shigure yelping and Kagura playfully calling him a pervert. Tooru giggled. She knew that Shigure was just trying to distract Kagura. With just a few overheard words and a nod from her, she was pretty sure that the older man probably had gotten a good grasp of the whole situation. Shigure could be so smart that way.

She patted Kimagure, reassuring him and soothing him. He didn't realize that what Shigure and Kagura were doing was just a game. She rubbed at the puppy's belly, stretching him out across her lap. Kimagure slowly relaxed, loosing himself in the feeling of her hands on his fat puppy tummy. He started to dose as it quieted downstairs. Tooru thought that Kagura and Shigure were probably talking by now. Shigure would make Kagura feel better before she left.

It was still shocking that Kagura's love for Kyou, something that Tooru had really admired, had begun in such an awful way. Pity wasn't anything to base a love on, she didn't know much about those kinds of things but she knew that. But still... Tooru thought that Kagura was still pretty admirable. To be able to move from where she only saw the pitiable things about a person to where you saw all his good qualities, to be able to fall in love with that person even though you knew he was so pitiable, that was pretty amazing. She could tell that Kagura really was in love with Kyou now.

Tooru slid down deeper into the covers. Kimagure rolled over and shifted so that his head rested on her stomach. He woofed a contented sigh and settled down. Tooru stroked down his spine as her mind wandered. Really, she thought, who was she to judge the purity of Kagura's love?

She was in love with Shigure and she didn't even know why. Not that long ago she was dedicating herself again to him just so he would be inside her again. Kagura could at least point out reasons. She didn't waver in her devotion. She knew everything about Kyou.

Tooru blinked, looking up at the ceiling. She herself didn't know hardly anything about Shigure. She knew more about Ritsu then she knew about the man she'd been regularly sleeping with. Prompted by the thought, Tooru picked up Ritsu's note. Was Shigure the person she was born to meet?

She blinked, tears so close to the surface that it was starting to blur the words on the paper. Shigure had said she was his heart... was that the same thing? Did she want it to be? Did she have a choice anymore? She'd already told him that she was his girlfriend. She shivered and Kimagure whined. She pat him again reassuringly.

She'd said she was his without really thinking about it, just wanting him with such an animalistic need that it made the names he called her ring so true. She'd forgotten all about her fear of him, the pain and degradation she'd felt at his hands. Now she'd promised to be his... and she couldn't work much of any feeling at all about it. She felt emptied, voided of all her feelings.

Tooru put the note back on the table and turned on her side gently, allowing Kimagure to resettle his head on the dip of her waist. She was so tired of thinking about it. It seemed so useless, it didn't seem to matter what she decided. Her traitorous body overrode anything her heart felt or her mind decided. What should she do now?

Shigure still frightened her. He was so... incomprehensible to her. She never knew what to expect from him next. When next she saw him, what would he be like? Would he be the sweet, playful man who couldn't decide on a flavor of ice cream? Or would he appear at her bedside with cruel words and dark needy eyes? She shivered. And it didn't even seem to matter which to her body; it wanted both.

Perhaps she should style herself after Kagura. She had been frightened of Kyou at first. She'd even pitied him. But she discovered all the good things about him and had come to truly love him. It might not have worked out for her... But at least Tooru knew that Shigure wanted her, even if it might be only with his body. She should learn everything she could about Shigure. Maybe then she'd understand why her body had come to crave him so much. Maybe then she'd learn why her heart refused to let him go.

How should she start? Shigure never spoke about himself. What did she know about him really? She knew he didn't have any brothers or sisters. He was good friends with Ayame-san and Hatori-san. She blushed; he was very skilled in bed. He liked to eat good food. He liked to tease and poke fun.

Where such trivial things all she knew about him? Just like Yuki had said that time... Shigure was like a wave. Or perhaps more like sand, she had all these little grains but she couldn't grasp them. They just slid through her fingers.

She had to know more about him, there had to be more that she'd discovered already. She bit her lip. What else did she know? When people in the Junninshi needed someplace to go, they came to him. Momiji had said that. "Always when there is a need to separate..." There had to be more. What else? He wrote.

Tooru sat up. Kimagure gave a whine of protest, forced to move from his comfortable perch. Shigure's books! When she'd wanted to know more about Yuki and Kyou she'd read about what they did. She'd gardened with Yuki and watched Kyou do his martial arts routine. She'd learned a lot about them that way. Surely she could learn even more about Shigure by reading the books he wrote himself?

Kimagure sneezed noisily and wedged his nose underneath Best Girl's arm. He didn't know which was worse, when Best Girl and Big Dog weren't getting along or when they were. When they weren't getting along, the house was all tense and uncomfortable. Best Girl cried a lot. But at least he got pet and snuggled as much as he wanted. When they were getting along it felt a lot better in the house, but then he got ignored. And Best Girl *still* cried a lot. It was too much for his little doggie brain to handle.

Shigure shook his head heading back up the stairs. Kagura was in for a rough time. If what he'd seen of Arisa and Kyou was going where he thought it was, the boy had definitely moved out of her range. Perhaps it was better that she accepted it now and moved on. He sighed heavily. He'd always been rather careless with his advice to the lovelorn members of the junninshi before. He dispensed advice that would help him and helped move his plots and plans further. He'd given no regards to what turmoil it would churn in their hearts, in the pain it would cause. Now that he knew what it felt like to have someone entrenched inside every fiber of your being... God, he'd been such a bastard. Hatori, Rin, Haru...Mayu... How much had he hurt them?

He knocked lightly on Tooru's door and walked in. Tooru and Kimagure looked up at him with identical puppy dog eyes and he felt a twang in his chest. This was evil. What he was doing was evil. He shouldn't be tying her to him. He would bring her so much pain. He'd already brought her so much pain. But when he saw those huge eyes looking up at him, even with the hints of fear in the back, even seeing that they were reddened from tears... he knew that he could never let her go. He was a selfish bastard, a greedy dog, and she was his mate. If he had to turn her into a bitch to match him he'd do it.

He cleared his throat and looked around for an excuse to be here. "Ne... you haven't tried the oatmeal... aren't you hungry?"

"Ah...well... I..." Tooru looked at the covered dish. It wasn't that long ago that he'd fed her Kyou's porridge, but she was feeling a little hungry. "I would like some."

"Oh? Tooru-chan's appetite is coming back." Shigure smiled, sitting next to her on the side of the bed. He lifted the tray off her desk and placed it on the lap, startling Kimagure out of the way. The puppy gave a disgusted huff and curled up in a hurt ball. Tooru made small noise and patted the jealous puppy. Mentally reassuring the puppy Shigure kept his eyes on Tooru as he sat on the edge of the bed. He pushed a stray hair Kagura had missed back behind her ear. The slight touch made her flush. "Tooru-chan's color looks better too." He said, his voice deepening. God her blush was such a turn on...

"I feel much better." Tooru said ducking her head. Unsure of what to do with herself, she lifted the lid of the oatmeal. She dipped a spoon into it and lifted out a gluey clot. It wasn't the successful oatmeal he'd made for her last time. This looked a lot more like one of his failed experiments. She had sudden doubts about if her stomach could handle it.

"Heh-heh." Shigure ran a hand through his hair, looking apologetic. "I know it doesn't look very good, but I tested it myself. It tastes all right."

Tooru flushed, "Oh! I'm sure its fine!" She assured him and popped the clot in her mouth. It did taste all right but the constancy was thick and almost chewy. It felt pretty gross in her mouth. She felt her flush brighten as she tried not to let her disgust show.

Shigure jumped up grabbed the wastebasket in panic as her cheeks took on two bright spots of color and her face crinkled in dismay. Her shoulders hunched and her jaw clenched while her skin took on a greenish cast. He took the bowl from her in one swift move and put it down on the desk with a clatter and held the basket before her, hunching into a crouch. "If it's that bad, spit it out! Don't make yourself sick!" He cried.

Tooru spat into the wastebasket. The viscous mass in her mouth was seriously starting to make her stomach revolt. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and looked up at Shigure apologetically. He was looking at her with such concern, his brows puckered and his face a picture of panic and worry.

The look was so out of place and unexpected on his usually controlled features that Tooru was startled into a laugh. His face transformed again into a raw surprise and dumb-founded astonishment. He looked so silly that Tooru couldn't stop laughing until her stomach clenched from the effort.

"I'm sorry Shigure-san." Her cheeks still had bright spots of color on them, this time due to laugher that was still sending aftershocks through her body. "I didn't mean to laugh. I'm sure you worked hard on that." She tried to keep a smile off her face. She wasn't that sorry; she'd forgotten how good it felt to laugh.

Shigure grinned. She was doing that glowy thing she did when she was happy. It took so little to make her smile, to make her content. Maybe he could do this... Maybe he could make her `his' without shattering her into a million pieces. Perhaps he could make this work.

He straightened from his crouch and pushed his hair out of his face. Tooru's eyes followed him in his momentary distraction. Her eyes traveled over the still damp fall of his hair as it clung to the side of his neck and down the taunt muscle that connected from his jaw to his chest. It followed the line of his chest displayed by the loose v of his yukata. She swallowed. She looked down and away, cheeks burning for a different reason. She drew her knees up as if she could protect herself from her own fickle body and heart.

Shigure looked back and saw her huddled up cutely under the blankets. He looked at the clock, not really enough time to play. The boys were hurrying home these days. Besides, despite her sudden improvement, she was still sick. She'd best rest.

"The oatmeal didn't work out." Shigure said ruefully, distracting himself by picking up the tray. "Would Tooru-kun like something else? I think there is some fruit... or I can order something in?"

"Oh..." Tooru fiddled with the blanket over her legs.

Shigure watched her fingers trace a little abstract shape on her knee. He had a flash of memory of those fingers tracing over his shoulder and along the curve of his ear in playful seduction and swallowed. How could she make such simple things so... sexy?

"Fruit sounds good." Shigure blinked and came back to himself, tearing his eyes away from Tooru's fingers. She looked up at him oblivious of how she affected him. "If that's not too much trouble for Shigure-san."

Shigure smiled. "It's no trouble. Anything else?"

"Oh!" Now was the perfect chance. "Could Shigure-san let me borrow some of his books?"

"You..." Shigure paused, the question taking him by surprise. "Want something to read?" He couldn't recall ever seeing her read for pleasure before. But she was stuck in bed... "What did you want to read?"

"Some of Shigure's books." Tooru repeated, feeling a little foolish. She didn't even know the titles of his books. Well, there was that one... it had `summer' in the title she thought.

"But what kind?" Shigure looked perplexed. "Did you need to read a book for school? Or did you want to read something for fun? A mystery maybe?" He grinned and his voice deepened again, "Or a romance?"

Tooru blushed, "I... I wanted to read something Shigure wrote."

"Something of... mine?" Shigure felt a funny twinge inside him.

"If Shigure-san doesn't mind." Tooru said softly, her face heating to a new shade of red. "I... I just thought that I'd like to know more about what Shigure-san does..."

"I don't mind." Shigure felt odd. In some ways sharing his writing was a lot more personal then sharing his bed. Each book was a little piece of him. It made him both worried and excited to think she'd be reading his books. A stupid smile tugged up at his lips, he couldn't suppress it. "What kind of book did you want to read?"

"Kind?" Tooru blinked. That's right... he wrote more than one kind, he wrote both high literature and romance novels. She was a little afraid she wouldn't understand his literature books... but she didn't want to seem stupid and ask for a romance. She bit her lip.

Feeling as eager as a schoolboy, Shigure started babbling. "Oh, but it's hard to choose when Tooru-chan doesn't have any idea what they're about right? I'll bring some up, I'll be right back."

Tooru watched him go, her lips curling into a little smile. He'd looked so surprised and eager to share his books. She loved seeing that side of him. She should have done this before. She lay back, feeling relieved.

Kimagure snuggled up close to her and licked at her hand. She automatically began petting him. It was so nice seeing Shigure smile, especially that boyish smile. She wanted to see him do that more often. If he did it often enough, she might be able to forget that other, dark Shigure that lurked in the dark corners of her memory. Without realizing it her eyes drifted shut and she fell asleep.

Shigure burst back into the room, his arms full of books. He hadn't been able to decide which ones to show to her first, so he'd brought as much as he could carry. He peeked around the books and felt the eager smile he had on his face slip. She'd fallen asleep...

He tried not to pout as he quietly placed the books on the floor. Kimagure whined from the bed. Tooru had stopped petting him again.

"Don't be selfish." Shigure scolded, both to the dog and to himself. "It's better to let her rest." Shigure pulled up a chair and looked at her sleeping peacefully. Her color was looking better. He leaned against her desk and yawned. "Besides, she'll probably just be asleep for a little while." She'd been taking little catnaps the whole time she'd been sick. All the same, he wished she'd wake up so he could show her the books. He'd be interested to see which one she picked out. He yawned again. Maybe he'd just wait and see if she wake up, sometimes she only slept for a few minutes.

Kimagure huffed... Now Big Dog was asleep too. He'd fallen asleep looking at Best Girl, propped up against the table. He stood and jumped off the bed, insanely bored. He sniffed along the wall and wandered into an open room. If Big Dog and Best Girl were just going to sleep, he'd have to find something else to entertain him.

***