Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Buried Secrets: The Memoirs of a Sohma ❯ The Seduction of Snow ( Chapter 17 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

BURIED SECRETS: The Memoirs of a Sohma
A Fruits Basket Fanfic

Written by Miyu, Vampire Princess


AUTHOR'S NOTES:
Chapter 97 of the manga doesn't exist here...and I guess, in retrospect, neither does most of the manga at this point. Now with that said...on with the story! Poor Sierra realizes she's falling for Akito! By the same token, he's also showing signs of falling for her! Thus, her last ditch effort plan has gone into effect. And New Year's is the perfect time to spring it. But will she take it too far? Warning: LEMON CONTENT! Comments are encouraged and welcome. A Standard Disclaimer appears at the end of the chapter.


Chapter 17 - The Seduction of Snow




The end of summer brought a wicked realization to me.

Akito was two-faced...or maybe that should be that he was of two personalities. The God and the Devil. The Devil was his usual side, the one everyone knew and feared, including me. The God though, was something only I saw. When we were alone together on the beach...and even afterward at the main house...he was the sweetest man. Considerate. Compassionate. He was the man I believed he should have been. But once we were not alone, that man disappeared. It was like a mask melting off.

And thus came my realization.

I was falling for a man that couldn't exist outside of "us".

He tried to change. At least, I think he did. Through the fall months leading up to Halloween, he didn't yell as much, or throw temper tantrums to the extent of punching an eye out. But he still got angry, still got frustrated with his limited existence. What he didn't let out just built up inside. With no other outlet there was only one way to get rid of all the frustration and anger.

He'd take it out on me.

I wasn't always beaten, mind you. Most times we would sit and talk. He might toss his teacup or throw his chopsticks, his temper getting the better of him. Sometimes he would throw his pillow or scream out the window for no apparent reason. But once in a while I'd be the object of his frustration. Why couldn't I make it stop, he'd ask. Why couldn't I take away his pain?

Bruises would mar my skin for days at a time. They never showed on my face or shoulders, my arms or legs. Akito was always very careful about that. I fought back the first time, but never afterward. No matter how much pain I was in. He'd only hit harder, scream louder. I felt helpless. I WAS helpless.

And it hurt. It hurt a lot.

Was this how you felt too, Yuki?

That's when I decided to do something no one else had ever considered. Something no one else would be able to accomplish.

I decided I was going to make him hurt too.

The highs and lows of his mood were simply too much, and seeing him every day just built up my own frustrations. Sure he apologized for every beating, but it didn't stop him from doing it again. Of course he showered me with gifts, giving me anything I wanted, but that didn't keep him from being possessive and suspicious.

I had hoped he would change, if only a little. I guess when they said you can't change a man, they weren't kidding. But that wasn't going to stop me.

If I couldn't change him, I was going to beat him at his own game.

Easier said then done....



I received a letter from Haru just before Christmas. He appeared to be doing well. Rin was sick, but still sent her best. They were thinking of coming home for the holiday. Just a quick stop by. But there were no promises.

Nor did they actually show up.

I wonder if that was because they had decided not to come, or if Haru -- gods love him -- got lost. I was really hoping to get to see them...him, really. I missed him so much. Even more so now with what I was going through...with what I planned on going through. Everyone I would've depended on was gone. Well, all right, one of them was simply locked up in a cage! But still....

I also picked up a small stack of postcards and letters from Tohru at Shigure's house on Christmas Eve. She was writing a lot more now that she felt I was in trouble. She wanted to know the latest news. Was I well? Was Akito treating me all right? Had we set a date? Did I think that poison in his tea would kill him?

Actually she didn't ask that last question, but it had crossed my mind.

Christmas Eve with my uncle was like settling back into an old routine. I stayed at his house that night, along with Ayame and Hatori. I wasn't old enough to join in, but I did get to see them drink themselves under the dining table. It was quite remarkable really. I had no idea a bladder could hold more sake than a sake canister.

And they all lost miserably at cards, too.

Christmas morning was sunny, but there was a fine sheen of white covering the grass. Up before the crack of dawn, I made breakfast for everyone. I was used to getting up early on Christmas Day. My uncle and cousins were rueful but grateful when they woke up. Shigure looked a bit discolored, but he managed to keep his breakfast down long enough to retain some nutrients.

There was a small exchange of gifts. I bought something for each of them and they for me. Well, Ayame went a bit overboard with everyone but that was simply Ayame. Not only did he make me two wonderful dresses styled like the Chinese dress I had bought months earlier, but also a pants suit that truly reminded me of Yuki. I couldn't help but hug him...although keeping a hold of him in snake form was a bit difficult.

My uncle and Hatori went together on a gift certificate for the mall. How sweet! I managed to refrain from hugging them...for all of 40 seconds.

I also managed to refrain from placing Hatori in water. It's a terrible urge really.

Then I had to wait until they transformed back to give them their presents.

For Hatori, I had no idea what to buy him. So what do I do? I bought him a tie. He only owns two (or so my uncle told me). It was a dark shade of blue with tiny light blue snowflakes. Appropriate, ne?

Ayame was the most difficult to buy for. Even Mine couldn't give me many suggestions. But I did take one of them to heart and bought my cousin a gift certificate to one of the most posh restaurants in town. Crowds are bad and cold weather even worse, but I figured he'd enjoy it...and maybe Mine would benefit as well.

For my uncle, I bought a new yukata. Actually, I bought the material. Ayame helped me to make it. Dark green in color, there was a light gold pattern that ran randomly throughout. He looked first shocked, then pleased as he pulled it from the box.

"Sei-chan you shouldn't have! Something like this is so expensive." Ayame and I smiled knowingly as he got up to try it on. "AH! It fits perfectly!"

"Your little niece is a natural with a sewing machine, Gure-san!"

Now he looked surprised. "You made this," he asked me. When I nodded, he smiled. "A handmade gift. Now I feel extra special."

I hoped Akito would feel the same.

Made of dark blue cotton, his yukata laid neatly folded in a box in my bedroom. With his traditional senses, I wasn't certain he would approve of such a gift. It was good material, even if the craftsmanship was a bit sloppy. Would he appreciate such a gift from the heart like my uncle did?

"You...made this?"

"Hai...with Ayame-san's help, of course."

Carefully he lifted the yukata from its box. "Is this...blue?"

I nodded. "Hai."

"The fabric is of good quality. And the color is not displeasing." After a pause, he managed a small smile. "Arigato, Sei-chan. This is quite a unique gift." His smile grew. "Now, I have a gift for you."

I tried not to frown when he stood, walking over to a large cabinet. Opening the doors, he revealed several articles of clothing, and a large box. With some effort, he pulled out the box. Turning to me, he held it out in offering.

"Merry Christmas."

Somewhat uncertain, I stood from my place on the floor and walked over to him. I accepted the package with an awkward smile. It took me a moment to realize that he expected me to open the package right there, but the box was too big for me to unwrap standing up. Kneeling, I tore into the paper. Once that was removed, I lifted the lid to the box.

What was inside took my breath away.

"Is this--?!"

But my question went unanswered even as I gently lifted the contents of the box to examine it more closely. White silk and lace draped from my hands. Sequins sparkled in the light from the windows nearby. Eyes wide, I looked up at Akito, who smiled knowingly.

"This...this is...a wedding dress," I stated dumbly.

"A very expensive wedding dress," Akito corrected.

It was damn near impossible, but my eyes grew wider. "But--?"

"You will wear it for the reception following the ceremony," Akito replied. "I understand that it is a more...modern...tradition."

I held the dress, staring at it like an idiot, until a maid knocked on the door.

Our dinner had arrived.

We ate in relative silence, then I was excused. I sat in my room as activity buzzed around me. The dress hung in the closet, a stark contrast to the rest of my wardrobe. When I finally came to my senses, I called my mother to tell her. When I explained to her that it was a Vera Wang original (I checked the tags and receipt myself), I think she passed out.

But from jealousy or surprise I'll never know.



Preparations for the New Year's celebration had begun a week before Christmas, but was in full swing the day after. I was awed by the decor the year before, but even more astonished by the time and effort devoted to it. I watched as the banners were raised, the streamers twisted and crossed and the sculptures placed in the proper spots. Over a hundred people helped turn the Sohma house into a place fit for gods.

And it took another twenty or so the create the feast!

Akito and I walked through the house on a daily basis. He would assess the progress and make comments to myself and the workers. Then we would sit down to our evening meal, as usual, and talk about our day. School was a handful with almost three-quarters of the year gone. Graduation was looming and the teachers sought to torture us with loaded assignments and reading material. I still had given little thought of what life would be like after graduation. I was too focused on my current goals and didn't want to look too far ahead.

"What would you like to do after graduation," Akito asked one night during dinner.

I stumbled on my words. "I'm not sure. I don't think I'm cut out for office work."

"What about design?"

"No." I shook my head and gave a short laugh. "I'm afraid my color schemes would be...too dark."

"A school teacher?"

"I don't have the patience."

"A journalist?"

"Writing's okay. But I don't know about being in front of a camera."

"How about a doctor? Or maybe a lawyer?"

"And go to school for the rest of my life? No thanks."

"So...you'll settle for being a housewife then?"

"Too boring." I sighed, placing my chopsticks on my tray. "I really don't know." I looked at him curiously. "Would...I mean...will I be allowed to continue on to the university? After we're married?"

Akito thought about this. "Of course," he replied. "I want my wife to be educated if nothing else."

That was good to know. Although, it hardly matters now that my future's been decided.

I have no idea what will happen next.

The next day I went with Hatori to the airport. Momiji's flight was due to arrive around 1pm. Finally at 1:15pm an announcement was made that his flight had landed and would be arriving at the gate shortly. Hatori and I waited behind the security checkpoint. I jumped up and down a few times, trying to get a better look at the gate. I wanted to see Momiji as soon as possible.

"To the left," Hatori said.

My head snapped left and there he was, dressed in a pair of khaki corduroy pants, brown boots, a green polo shirt and a brown leather jacket. He was definitely taller and his hair was a little longer. He looked so grown up, so not childish. But the smile he wore as soon as he saw us was definitely the one I remembered.

"Tori! Sei-chan!"

After collecting the suitcase he'd checked, we loaded into the car. I sat in the back seat with Momiji as he told me about all the things he'd done during the semester. The tests were difficult and some of the classes were boring, but he really was enjoying the college life. He would have been home sooner, but a friend invited him to stay for Christmas.

He asked me what I'd done for Christmas and I gave him the rundown of events. Hatori blushed slightly when I mentioned the drunken cards bit, but said nothing to the contrary. Momiji only laughed, until I told him about Akito's present.

"A wedding dress?!"

Hatori was equally surprised, yet remained silent.

"A very expensive wedding dress," I repeated Akito's exact words. In a lower voice I whispered, "It's a Vera Wang."

Momiji looked no less shocked. "But...you haven't announced a date yet...have you?"

I shook my head. "Nope." I sat back into my seat with a sigh. "But I think Akito wants to announce one at the New Year's celebration."

"Don't worry, Sei-chan," Momiji said, looking all courageous and dashing. "I'll keep my promise and kidnap you before the ceremony."

I laughed, punching him playfully in the shoulder. "You'd better!"

Akito insisted on seeing Momiji as soon as he arrived home. I helped the servants take Momiji's luggage back to his room, then walked back to my room, a smile on my face. I had hoped that perhaps Momiji would be finished talking with Akito, but that was not the case. Akito's door was closed and it seemed quiet. Too quiet.

So I settled into my room, grabbing a book I needed to finish reading for lit class. I barely managed to get through the most boring of chapters when I heard a knock on my door.

"Hai?"

"Miss? Akito wishes to see you."

I closed my book, marking the page where I'd left off. It was odd for Akito to be asking for me. I had been told earlier that day that he wasn't feeling well, and only wished to see Momiji.

"Arigato gozaimasu," I replied, standing from my bed. Giving little thought to my appearance, I made sure my hair was laying neatly and my clothes weren't wrinkled too terribly before I stepped into the hallway. I expected to see the servant standing there, but she had already gone. Taking a deep breath, I walked the few steps to Akito's room, curious as to why he'd call me.

Then I knocked.

"Enter!"

Akito sounded less than happy. I wondered if his conversation with Momiji didn't go as he planned. Keeping my thoughts to myself, I entered the room and sat in the same place on the floor. My head was bowed, as was courteous and suited Akito's traditional sensibilities, and I waited for him to address me.

"It occurred to me earlier this afternoon that there is an important matter we have yet to discuss." I nodded, waiting for him to continue. "Have you given any thought as to a wedding date?"

I had given it less thought than I had my life after high school. I looked up, taking notice of two other people in the room. One of them was Kureno. The balding gentlemen beside him was not a member of the Sohma clan, at least not one I knew.

"I have an idea or two," I replied. My mind grasped at months and timetables until I finally blurted out, "Something in early May."

Yeah, prolong my death sentence past graduation. Good idea. I winced inwardly.

Akito looked to Kureno, then the bald man, who seemed to be consulting a large day planner of some sort. He muttered something to Kureno, who in turn relayed the message to Akito.

He was booked early May.

"How about late April," Akito asked. I opened my mouth to speak, but snapped it shut quickly. Akito saw this and raised a hand. "What is it you want to say, Sei-chan?"

"They have not finalized the date for graduation," I said, somewhat embarrassed. At least it was the truth.

"Student council decides that, do they not?"

"Umm, hai."

"Then I'm sure you could sway them one way or the other if need be," Akito replied with a grin.

Again the bald man consulted the planner. He noted something, then turned to Kureno. Both men spoke, nodded, then Kureno addressed Akito.

"He is available the last weekend of the month."

"Good!" Akito seemed delighted, a light shining in his eyes. He looked at me. "When shall we have it? Saturday?"

"Sunday," I corrected, offering a smile. "Just in case."

"Sunday it is."

And with that, my sentence had been passed.

But I had yet to commit any crime.



My plan seemed very simple in the beginning. I had to make certain Akito fell in love with me...then find a way to break his heart. The first part was simple enough, as Akito did -- at least once -- confess he felt something for me. While we were walking though the garden one cool evening, Akito stopped in mid-stride. Turning to me, holding both my hands in his, he said:

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Sierra. I...I want you with me always." He paused, as if his words were affecting him as well as me. "Is that too much to ask of you? Will you stay with me?"

It wasn't like he said, "I love you" but it was good enough for me. I was still uncertain he could feel anything like love, but I know he felt something. He cared. I smiled, grasping his hands tightly. I felt very evil at that moment, but giddy at the same time.

"Hai."

It was the easiest lie I ever told.

I encouraged his feelings at every sitting, every meal. I gave myself over to his every whim with few exceptions. He critiqued, he showered me with gifts, and yes, the beatings continued although they became somewhat rare as the holidays drew near. More important things to tend to, or so I thought. We still had our usual meetings every day, having tea and eating dinner together.

Our final meal together before the New Year's festivities began, we sat side by side in his room. It was somewhat awkward, as I could not see him. That made me nervous. I was even more nervous when he asked me to join him on the futon. I could've said no out of propriety, but the words wouldn't form in my brain let alone come out of my mouth.

We laid as we had sat, side by side. He cuddled up to my side, laying light kisses to my neck and shoulder. His arm snaked around my middle hugging me, holding me close. I wrapped one arm around him, my fingertips lightly caressing his back in a soothing manner. Soothing for both of us.

"Sei-chan, look at me, onegai."

When I turned my head to look at him, he kissed me, lips pressed against lips. It took me by surprise and a jolt of warning ran through my body. Gentleness reigned and we kissed each other with an ease neither of us had before. I willed myself to relax, but the warning signals were still going off, half of me warring with another half.

Don't stop, part of me would scream. That dark side of me that loved Akito. The side that didn't care what happened as long as we were together. The side that knew deep down he was as much of an angel as he called me.

Stop him, the other half would yell back. Retaliation. The side of reason. The half that knew, no matter how happy I acted, my life would be miserable. No matter how hard I tried, I would never be able to change Akito.

I hate conflict.

In the end, it was the voice of reason that won. I withdrew myself. Seemingly taking the cue, Akito did the same. Wordlessly he rested his head on my shoulder, his body resting directly against mine. I could feel him against my hip, evidence of his "emotion" for me. I tried not to panic, willing myself to breath normally.

My body, however, remained tense throughout, easing only when I could feel his steady breath on my neck. I heard him whisper, words that my brain didn't understand. It sounded like "thank you" followed by his favorite endearment for me, "my angel". He fell asleep quickly and I was grateful that nothing else had occurred. I untangled myself from his grasp and made my way back to my room.

The next morning he awoke in a panic. I greeted the new year by bolting up in bed, the door to my room slamming open. In he came, hyperventilating. He stood at the foot of my bed, held upright only by his own strength and the death grip he had on one of the posts. I tossed my covers aside, half scared, half worried. I crawled from bed and went to him.

The moment I was at his side he let go of the bed and latched onto me. I took the brunt of his weight, but I wasn't prepared for it, or strong enough. We fell to the floor together, my knees hitting the hardwood with a loud crack. I winced in pain, still holding up myself and Akito.

"You're still here," he said between gasps, hugging my tighter. "You're...still...here."

"Shhh," I whispered, stroking his back as if he were a child. I managed to calm him down enough to ask one of the servants if he'd eaten yet. She shook her head, stating that he'd only just awoken and had darted from his room. I kindly asked if she'd bring his meal with mine. She nodded emphatically and ran from the room.

Something warm and wet drew my attention away from the closed door. Akito sobbed, still mumbling as if half asleep. Then one after another tears fell on my neck and shoulder. I continued caressing his back, trying to calm and soothe. I felt pain shoot up my thighs as I tried adjusting myself to a more comfortable position. Tears of pain formed in my eyes, but I managed to kneel, then stand, pulling Akito with me.

When breakfast arrived, Akito was calm enough to sit and eat. My knees still hurt, but the pain ebbed as the day went on. With a kiss on my cheek, Akito excuse himself when he was finished. There were still preparations to be made as family would be arriving shortly. I was told to dress myself and meet him in the main foyer. With some help, I did as I was told.



I was so tired of greeting people after an hour. I knew there were a lot of Sohmas -- I'd seen most of them last year -- but actually having to talk to each and every one, answering questions and receiving congratulations, almost put me on overload. Everyone was pleased by our engagement. Everyone save for most of the jyuunishi...and myself.

The festivities began much as they had the year before...with much mingling. Akito excused himself to receive the jyuunishi one by one. I felt very much out of place by myself, but was grateful for some time away from him. Momiji kept me company most of the time. We talked and talked, rambling on about everything and nothing. I also got to talk with Kana and hold her adorable baby girl. She looked just like the picture Akito had shown me. It took everything I had not to cry.

I sat at the head table this time, on Akito's left, as the meal was served. I felt eyes on me, but I kept mine on my plate, speaking only when spoken too. Once the meal had concluded, Akito announced our wedding date. I was far from surprised, but a few of the others murmured among themselves. There was a roar of applause before the festivities broke once again and guests began excusing themselves.

I sat with a few of the jyuunishi in a private room with Kisa curled up in my lap and crying. Even Hiro couldn't get her to stop. Before long Ayame came to collect everyone. It was time to prepare for the zodiac dinner. Momiji and Hiro helped Kisa, all of them saying good night before walking into the darkness of the hallway.

I stayed for a few moments longer, my mind awash in self-pitying thoughts, before walking back out into the grand room. There were only two people sitting in the one corner: Kyo, and his step-father, Kazuma. I turned to leave them in peace, when Kazuma asked me to join them.

We talked late into the night, and I learned a few new moves from Kazuma. He really is a martial arts master. And it's so obvious he cares about Kyo. Have I mentioned that his grandfather was the previous cat of the zodiac? Because of this, he says its much easier to understand Kyo.

Kazuma said good night only an hour before the others began to appear. Kyo and I were sitting near the window, where we had been last year. But neither of us were sleeping. Instead, we played "Rich Man, Poor Man".

"I win again!"

"Damn," Kyo growled under his breath. "You've been taking lessons from the damn Yankee, haven't you?"

"Actually, Hana-chan taught me a thing or two."

Kyo snickered. "That would figure."

"Are you playing 'Rich Man, Poor Man'? Can I play," Momiji asked.

"It's late, Momiji," Hatori said, stifling a yawn. "Besides, Akito wishes to speak with Sei-chan."

I pointed to msyelf. "With me? So late in the evening?"

Teasingly my uncle commented, "He probably wants a good night kiss."

I turned bright red out of embarrassment. Kyo turned red out of anger. Even Hatori shot my uncle a warning glance.

"I'll go see what he wants," I told them while trying to stand. The kimono I was wearing was a real bitch to move in. Kyo and Momiji had to help me. "Arigato," I told them.

"Yell if you need us," Kyo said as I walked away.

I waved in acknowledgement, my heart plummeting into my stomach as I walked towards Akito's room. I should have had more fortitude, more confidence, but walking towards the unknown, in the dark, was downright scary. A few servants still moved about, one of them informing me that Akito was not in his room.

"He's waiting for you outside in the garden."

"The garden? But it's so cold outside."

"Yes, miss. I agree. But that's where he is."

I sighed, thanking the woman. I walked the short distance to my room and grabbed a shawl and scarf. I would've grabbed a blanket, but that would've been overkill. As warm as I was going to get, I walked out into the garden, using the door through the rear of the building. I cursed myself and Akito. It was FREEZING! But I stopped in mid-stride as I rounded the corner of the house and entered the garden.

Akito stood in the middle of the garden, standing on the small stone path. His face was tilted upward, as if looking at the night sky, but his eyes were closed. Snow lightly fell, one flake at a time. He looked very content to stand there, wearing nothing more than the dark blue yukata I had made for him.

Slowly I approached him. He didn't move, didn't realize I was there, until I placed my shawl around his shoulders. Gradually his head turned, our eyes meeting. I blinked and looked away, muttering in explanation, "It wouldn't do to have you catch a cold." I fiddled with the scarf still around my neck. "What a bad way to start off the new year."

I felt him move before my eyes picked up on it. His body turned, his arms reaching for me. His hands pressed to my back as he hugged me. The material of his yukata was cold, causing me to shiver. Smelling the freshly washed material, a hint of vanilla found its way into my nose. I'd never smelled vanilla around Akito before. It was comforting, relaxing. My own arms wrapped around his middle, hugging him back, even though the same motion filled me with dread.

Akito's voice sounded childish in my ear. "You're not cold."

"I haven't been outside very long," I replied, although I was starting to feel the chill in the air. "Let's go inside."

"Have the others gone?"

I nodded. "Everyone's turned in for the night save for a few of the servants."

He sighed, releasing me. Stepping back, he grabbed my hands. The serenity of his expression never changed. The dark orbs of his eyes had a tiny light shining in them. His smile looked happy, not cruel. For a brief moment I could see emotion light his face, see it in his eyes. He lifted my hands to his lips, pressing them to my knuckles in a kiss.

My heart did a somersault, skipping a beat. I could feel the warring factions of my own emotions rising. I'm certain he saw much of it in my own eyes. I can tell lies, but in truth I am a horrible liar. My face is too expressive. But if this caused a problem, he didn't say. As a matter of fact, his expression lit up a little more. I felt both happiness and anxiety as he let one of my hands fall, clutching the other tightly by his side.

"Let's go inside," he repeated, pulling me along behind him as we walked.

We walked in through a door on the opposite side of the house. The house itself was quiet. The only sounds were our footsteps on the wooden floor. It was too dark at first, but as we neared what appeared to be a large candle, I realized that we were walking through his room. Through the shadows I could make out his futon and the pillows usually spread out on the floor. I damn near tripped over one, not seeing it in the darkness. I cursed lightly and wished I wasn't wearing the kimono.

My inattention to what was in front of me in favor of my own discomfort caused me to run into Akito as he stopped. I apologized quickly but was cut short by the tentative press of his lips to mine. My heart stopped, eyes widening in surprise and fear. My body grew tense, his arms snaking around my shoulders once again. When he pulled away he had to see my fear, my indecision. Or maybe it was too dark, because he smiled down at me and took one step backward.

"Sei-chan?"

"Huh?"

"Undress me."

It was a command, given in the same tone and inflection with which he gave every order. There was no room for argument and little for hesitation. I managed the step forward, but stopped short of reaching for him. I was torn between thoughts of what might happen and what had previously occurred between us. The good, the bad and the very ugly all rolled into one...then settled like a heavy stone in the pit of my stomach.

"This isn't...quite...appropriate," I stuttered, even as I reached for him. My hands found purchase on his chest. I could feel his heart beating, feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

"Why not?" he asked. "We are engaged."

"Ah, but we're not married," I pointed out.

He paused in thought. "We've lain with one another. Slept together."

"True." My hands trembled on the tie of the yukata and I had a difficult time undoing the knot. I also had a hard time coming up with some sort of retort. He raped me, the bastard, but saying that out loud would only infuriate him and that wasn't what I wanted. I just wanted to leave. Something told me that would not be allowed. "But traditionally, it's...unacceptable."

"Screw tradition!"

Startled by his outburst I stopped what I was doing and stepped back to look at him. "That's not something I thought I'd ever hear you say."

He blinked, startled himself, but he recovered quickly. "We're old enough to make our own decisions."

I went back to undoing the knot, which seemed to be complying now. "That's true."

"So...stay with me tonight."

The knot undone, I slipped off the belt and let the yukata fall apart naturally. My eyes lifted to meet his. "Are you asking...or demanding?"

I saw the anger in his eyes long before it registered on his face. I expected a mean retort, maybe even a slap in the face. Gods know I haven't had a good beating lately. His facial expression contorted, venom lacing his voice as he replied, "I...don't need to ask. I am God."

"I may be your fiancé," I told him. "But I am not one of the 12 jyuunishi."

"You will obey me."

"Again...are you asking or demanding?"

Fire flared in his eyes. I thought for a moment that this could be it. This could be the end. He'd call of our engagement. He'd send me back to my uncle. Or maybe just send me back to home to my parents. In any case I would be free, and that's all that mattered. That was my goal.

But his reaction was not what I had expected.

"I'm...asking."

Blinking, I know I looked startled. "Are you really?"

He nodded. "Hai." The angry expression turned to a pained one before he asked, "Will you...stay with me tonight?"

I studied him carefully. Gone was the anger. Frustration fueled the fire in his eyes. His body was tense. Did he fear the unknown?

Hmm...plan A failed. On to plan B.

Whatever that was.

My calm exterior belied a fury of activity on the interior. As I stepped towards him, my heart beat faster. I heard those warring chants. Stop! Don't stop! As I willed my heart to slow down, I studied him again.

The yukata had not parted all the way. A small relief, although my eyes were drawn to the patch of pale skin on his chest framed by the parted blue fabric. My fingertips lightly brushed the skin, testing it. First one hand, then the other. I felt his muscles tense, heard his swift intake of breath. But he didn't stop me.

With eyes like a hawk he watched me. Using both hands I parted the yukata further, sweeping the material across his chest and shoulders until it slid down his arms. I refused to look down, the voices still yelling at me. This isn't right! Stop! Yet I managed to continue, taking one more step closer. Using my hands on his bare chest as leverage, I raised up on tiptoe and pressed my lips against his.

What possessed me to do it, I'll never know. But it was the only answer I was going to give him.

He was hesitant at first. Thrown off, I think. But he accepted my answer. Thin steel bands wrapped around my shoulders, pulling me closer. I was trapped, no turning back.

Only the need for air pulled us apart. We panted in unison, eyes locked. It wasn't until he grunted in disgust that I realized he was trying to untie the obi of my kimono. I grasped his forearms (I couldn't reach his wrists) and pulled them away. Then I took a step back and set to work on it myself. I managed to get it and several of the other ties undone, but I did need his help with the last one, the knot too stubborn to budge.

With all the ties and sashes undone, I felt the kimono begin to sweep apart. I was only slightly grateful for the under kimono, but still felt almost naked. My hands moved to help cover me but Akito took them in his own, pulling me back towards the futon. He sat, his legs crossed Indian style and pulled me down to straddle in his lap, facing him.

My entire body had to be blushing under the kimono. Heat filled my face and I thought for certain it would explode. Even as his fingers tugged the kimono material from my shoulders, allowing it to fall in a puddle on the floor. His fingers made quick work of the last ties and I tensed as cold air met the bare flesh of my left shoulder. Then I was flooded by cold as the last of the garments was stripped from my shoulders and tugged down my arms.

I curled up, trying to cover myself. Naked with only the necklace, my underwear and a pair of tabi socks to keep me warm. This wasn't right. I couldn't let this continue. But Akito forced me to look at him, to keep myself open to his view. The smile on his face was somewhat kind, somewhat cruel. A mix between naughty and nice. My blush only grew worse and I wondered if heat stroke would be the end of me.

I was physically shaking when he leaned forward and kissed me. Fear of the unknown mixed with memories of the past. I was certain he'd be forceful, when he was only tender, giving. I was afraid he'd be brutal, when he was only gentle, caring. His lips were cool as he kissed. His fingertips were soft and gentle as they caressed. There was no force, although silent demand hung in the air.

But demand from one...or both?

I became less afraid as I touched him. His frame was slight, his muscles toned for someone as ailing as him. His skin was warm, goosebumps forming along his arms and shoulders. I traced imaginary lines, learning him. As my fingers trailed down his arms I remembered what they felt like around me, the brutal way he touched me. I jerked my hands away, staring blankly at him. Grasping my hands he pulled away.

"Daijoubu desu ka?" he asked in a whisper.

I shook my head, more to keep myself from crying than an actual reply.

"Are you afraid?"

Of him? Of what we were doing? I nodded.

"There's nothing to be afraid of," he told me. His voice was soft, gentle, as if placating a child. He placed my hands, outspread on his chest. Slowly he moved them lower.

My eyes followed for a short time, until I realized what I might see. But feeling was just as bad. Our joined hands grasped onto something solid, yet smooth. I tried to push past thoughts out of my mind, but there was one that stuck. A memory of when Haru and I had been together. It was just like that time.

"I like it when you touch me. I want you to."

Those had been Haru's words...but it was Akito's voice I heard.

As he laid kisses along my neck, our hands moved. Upward, then downward, creating a rhythm. I tried to keep my mind on the memory, what I had done, what it had felt like. But reality would always set in. My brain would go between the real and surreal until I heard Akito gasp in my ear, felt his body shudder violently.

Then I stopped.

Like an angry dog he growled at me. The fire in his eyes was fully ablaze when I pulled away. He was angry...and frustrated. So close to release and yet...so far away.

With a smirk I pushed him backward. He fell to the futon with utter shock lining his face. I crawled upward like a cat on the prowl. He watched warily, half interested and half uncertain. He responded when I kissed him, moaning when I touched him and groaning as I stroked him into another feverish pitch. Again, I stopped just before he could find release.

But that's where my control ended. Fingernails digging into my sides, I felt myself being pulled, turned. He flipped up over, my back hitting the futon with a dull thud. From that point on he was in total command.

I didn't argue once.

I was surprised by his gentleness, even in that moment before entry. I was surprised by his stamina, his drive. I was surprised by how full I felt, how well he filled me. I was surprised how quickly I reached climax and how many times...I lost track.

And I was extremely surprised that I had enjoyed it.

Guilt and shame washed over me. What the hell had I done?! There was no blaming this one on Akito. Oh no. What I did, I did of my own free will. What was I thinking? Had my brain gone and left while my body remained behind?

Confused, angry and ashamed, I rolled away from his sleeping form and cried myself to sleep.

When I awoke the next morning, I was alone. Hikari told me that Akito had taken a walk that morning and had gone to see Hatori himself. I was somewhat surprised, as was Hikari. I made my way to the bathroom, bathed, dressed and went about my usual daily routine. Akito didn't ask to see me once during the day, or the day after.

I spent most of my time between homework and visiting Momiji. We walked through the malls, through town. He took me to the movies, told me jokes. But too soon he had to leave again. Too soon I had to go back to class.

Too soon did Fate come for me.


~TO BE CONTINUED~


DISCLAIMER:
Fruits Basket is owned by Natsuki Takaya/HAKUSENSHA - TV TOKYO - NAS - Fruba Project and licensed by FUNimation Productions, Ltd (for distribution in the USA). All copyrights go to them and not me. All characters are used here without permission. Please don't sue. No money is being made from the production of this story therefore I have no money to give you.

Sierra Sohma, and all others not associated with Furuba, are my creations and therefore the only thing here I do own. *sigh* Pity them, onegai.