Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Custody ❯ Hug ( Chapter 8 )

Momiji started to walk forward across the snowy field, zigzagging around the graves. He had to force himself to keep on moving at a normal speed, when in reality he wanted to run to Momo as fast as he could. He barely refrained from doing so when he noticed that his appearance had already made some heads turn to him with questioning stares. He couldn't hear what they said, but he had a pretty good guess that they were wondering who this stranger was. He decided to ignore them after a few seconds. Nothing and nobody was going to spoil this moment. He would not allow it. Cutting them off his senses, he focused all of his attention on the blond girl standing in front of the two graves. He kept on walking forward.

 

A million thoughts, feelings and old fears revolved inside his head. What was he going to say? What to do? The happiness of this long wished for reunion was shadowed by the mutual pain of their loss.

 

While he was standing under the white trees he guessed more than recognized Momo. Now that he was closer he could finally see her features clearly. A painful realization stabbed his heart with brutal swiftness. His step faltered before suddenly stopping. His eyes betrayed him by reflecting the raw fear he felt at that moment. There, before his very eyes stood a slightly younger version of the woman who still plagued his nightmares so often.

 

Momo had become an almost exact replica of her mother. In Momiji's eyes, however, this was not his little sister, but his mother looking back at him, her face.

 

It was the face of rejection and ultimate betrayal. It was the image he had cherished the most, and the source of his greatest sorrow. How many times had he dreamed of that distant, beloved face smiling at him? For a split second he felt like a four year old again and he averted his eyes from her, like he used to do so many years ago. He finally snapped back to reality when out of the corner of his eye he saw Momo start running to him. Unconsciously, he slipped on his defense mechanism: that nervous smile that looked real to everyone, except to those who knew him well. He tried to force himself into calmness with a slow, long breath before he turned his head to the approaching girl.

 

Momo stood rooted to the spot. She recognized him even from afar. She might not have been able to see him clearly at first, but her heart told her that it was he. No doubt about it. As he got closer, she couldn't help it but notice that he had indeed become a strikingly handsome man, just as she always believed he would. He looked older, more mature, though not as old as she knew he was now. The snow contrasted against his clothing. He was wearing black. His long, black coat was just barely open so that she could see that he was wearing a black suit underneath. For some reason, it seemed wrong for him to be wearing something so stern looking, so adult. His face was serious, but calm. Even though he wasn't smiling, he had that same reassuring expression on his face as the day they said goodbye six years ago. She felt that everything would be alright now that he was with her again. He strode along, more than walked, most of the distance until suddenly he stopped just a few meters in front of her. A gust of chilly wind ruffled his hair and made the hem of the unbuttoned coat billow with it. He looked at her as if for the first time in his life. She didn't have time to read the new look in his eyes before he lowered them and turned his head to the side, as if scared of something. Was he regretting being here? What if he wanted to leave?

 

Of all the possible scenarios she had pictured in her mind for a reunion, she never considered a situation like this. Where was her sunny day, the flowering gardens, the jealous friends on the back, the giggles and laughter? There was only one thing left of that dream, and it was up to her to get it.

 

She ran to him.

 

Momo hugged him fiercely, as if determined to not letting go of him ever again. She clearly remembered how he had stopped her from hugging him back then, but right now she needed this, and she was determined to get it. She barely reached his shoulder, and she took advantage of it by pressing her cheek and her ear against his chest. He was warm while the rest of the world seemed frozen, uncaring. As her arms snaked their way under his coat she pressed herself against him. She inhaled deeply, taking in as much of his scent as she could. She wanted to memorize it in case this was the only time she was allowed to get this close. He had the foreign and yet familiar scent of a place far away that she once used to call her home, back on the days when she had a family. She hugged him tighter.

 

Momo collided with Momiji, but he didn't even stumble. The truth was that he was petrified: He wasn't prepared for this, though he had dreamed about it many times. Fortunately for him, she couldn't see the terrified look on his face. Sure, he had been hugged before, and even more after the curse was lifted, but only by Tohru and once by Mayu. Nobody else. It was not intentional, but if ever somebody else tried to get too close to him for comfort, he just held that person by the shoulders at a safe distance. It was a reflex now. Obviously, after the first couple of times this happened within a new group of friends, people got discouraged to try.

 

Whenever Tohru hugged him, though, it was a happy occurrence: whether they were celebrating something, or just for the fun of it, to him, each time was special. The day Tohru could finally hug him in his human form for the first time, both of them cried. It had been a new, powerful experience. They just stood there for a long time, enjoying the feeling of their arms around each other and the happy tears among the giggles and laughter.

 

But this… this he didn't know how to react to. He knew what he was supposed to do: he had seen it too many times, but he felt… strange. This was not a happy hug. He could literally feel the pure sadness, hopelessness and fear radiating from Momo. What was he supposed to say? How could he comfort his little sister when he too felt so torn inside?

 

His instincts took over and he hesitantly put his arms around Momo in a gentle, shy motion. She finally broke down crying when she felt him returning the embrace. Momiji never imagined that the first time he and Momo hugged they would be so desperately trying to get and to give comfort to each other. Just how much had he longed and feared this moment! He pulled her tighter against him, resting his chin among the golden curls on the top of her head as she enjoyed the lulling thumping of his heart.

 

A real smile on his lips contrasted with the lone tear running down his cheek. Wrapping his sister with the sleeves and the sides of his coat, he enjoyed the sad, bittersweet feeling of his sister's hug for the first time in his life.