Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Custody ❯ Irony ( Chapter 32 )

Nobody running after him, calling his name under the falling snow, out of breath and without a coat in the rush of the moment. It was a funny idea, and he thought that he had seen that happen in some foreign movie once. The girl had been half dressed, with only a sweater on. What was the name of it? It didn't matter, really. Like that's ever going to happen in real life!

No phone call asking him to go back, wanting to know where he was as he walked alone in the streets of a strange city. Had he ever given Momo or Grandma his number? He had planned to do it, but he wasn't sure.

Nobody trying to stop the taxi taking him to the airport hours later, when the cold finally got to him and his fingers started to freeze and hurt. He usually didn't mind the cold, but he had been out for long. Momiji only noticed the time when he realized that it took him a while to find a taxi because nobody expects to find someone walking in the street under the falling snow. People don't wander around at night in winter. He didn't even recognize where he was anymore.

Nobody coming to the airport, looking for him desperately among the people walking by. In movies, airports are always crowded, he noticed. He figured that it was so that the viewer can get the full dramatic effect of the scene, the angst of it. He got the angst part already. When was he getting to the happy ending?

Nobody catching up with him as he changed his ticket for an earlier flight. He was sure that he had seen it happening in more than one of those romantic movies he'd seen on TV. Not that he was expecting to hear the love confession that always followed… He had to pay a small fortune for wanting to leave half a day earlier, though. `Why this, of all things, had to be true?' The irony of the situation escaped him. He had laughed about it at the theater. He couldn't care less now.

No phone call as he waited for his flight to be announced, or even as he absentmindedly leafed through the pages of his passport. He had a Japanese passport. He was a Japanese citizen. Up to that moment it never occurred to him to find out if he was considered a German citizen also because of his mother… Not that it mattered. It was just curiosity.

No crying scene at the waiting room, as he got ready to board the plane. Again, those corny monologues where the main character confesses her undying love came to his mind, as well as the sappy scenes where the girl realizes that the man saying goodbye is the one she has loved all along. He smiled bitterly. `It didn't happen the day Tohru left…'

No last minute passenger beside him. This time he thought that he had seen it happening in a TV show… or was it? In fact, the seat beside him stayed empty the whole time. `It has to be, since it was meant for Momo', he thought with a flinch.

Nobody boarding the plane, followed by security guards trying to stop her, calling out his name and asking him to stay. That one he knew for sure was completely out of the question, airport security being as tight as it was nowadays… It didn't stop him from hoping, though.

No phone call, or even a message as he turned off his mobile phone at the last possible moment before the plane lifted off. `Didn't I give them the number? Is this thing broken or something? Have they even tried to call?'

Nobody ordering the plane back because someone had to stop him from leaving. He recalled the scene clearly. The girl had talked the airport controllers into it by saying that the love of her life was in that plane, and that if it took off she was going to loose him forever. Where did that story take place? Italy? Or was it another one? Yes, it was another one for sure. In this one they just had to open the door of the plane for her, or did she had to jump in because they were pulling the tunnel apart?

He tried to take his mind away from Germany as the distance between he and his family grew. Before he realized, he was getting a taxi to his house. How many times had he changed planes? Though he was able to reschedule his flight in Germany, because of the holidays he had spent hours sitting in waiting rooms. He called Ritsu to let him know that he was going to be late because of a snow storm in… where was it? Anyway, Tohru had to know so she didn't go to the airport to pick him up. At least he was going to be spared from having to see her with `him' in the state of mind he was at that moment.

`Tohru…' He had to stop thinking about her.

All that time alone with himself presented the opportunity to think things over, to organize his thoughts. He planned carefully what he had to do as soon as he arrived to Japan. He had people to see, a company to take care of, a family waiting for him, his brother-partner Ritsu and Tohru…

Everything took him back to Tohru. Tohru and `him'. He knew that he would have to act happy for her as a friend, but in the privacy of his mind, the friend stepped aside and the man took over.

`What am I going to do? What if I say something that I regret later? I've seen them together before, but now it's different. Now they are a couple. What if they hold hands? What if they kiss..? No! No, no, no… I can't stand the idea! I don't want to see them! How long am I going to be able to avoid them? What if she wants to tell me all the details about how they finally got together? Me, her best friend! She knows now how I feel about her. How am I going to face her after that? Will we still be friends now that she's with K… No! I can't even say his name… Tohru… why did you have to choose him? Why didn't you see me? I was there too all the time.'

“Tohru…”

Nobody waiting for him as he opened the door and stepped into his house. A silent house. An empty house. A cold house. A house that never felt like a home. When he left, he had expected to bring back his sister, to fill this house with a family. Wasn't that what transformed silent, empty houses into homes?

Nobody yelling “surprise” when he turned on the lights. Then again, in movies, it only happened on birthday parties. Why did he think about that?

No million messages in the answering machine. Not even one. Now he knew for sure that he never gave Momo and Grandma his numbers. `Should I call them? Grandma must be worried. I didn't even say goodbye…'

He was aware of the fact that he never considered going back or calling them. He had been expecting them to look for him or to call him first. He was being selfish and stubborn, but he wasn't giving in. He was tired of reaching out for his family, of following them around. He had even traveled halfway across the world to go to his sister and grandmother. He knew that they were innocent, that they didn't know about him, that he shouldn't expect them to make it up to him for the past. Despite all that, this time he wanted them to go to him. He was never reaching out for them again, even if it meant living alone in this empty house surrounded by the coldness of silence.

Nobody. Nothing. Only emptiness.