Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Custody ❯ A home for us ( Chapter 34 )

Momiji stopped as soon as he saw Momo waiting at his door. He'd been so distracted as he walked that it didn't occur to him to raise his eyes from the ground until they were in front of his house, and even so, he did it only because he noticed that his cousin was staring at something, or rather someone, up ahead.

-“You're here…” Momiji didn't know what to say. He never thought that he would see her ever again. After that day when he left Germany, he had the feeling that he had lost any chance he might ever had of a relationship with his sister. He secretly kept on hoping for a turn of events though, a surprise, but the sight of his sister there, at his house, shocked him beyond coherent thought or speech.

-“Tadaima!!” Momo waved a gloved hand at both of them shyly. Her stomach contracted into a knot at the sight of the two people in front of her. They were about 5 meters away from her, close enough a distance to hear clearly whatever they happened to say.

Both men wore black coats over tailored gray suits, and each of them had a laptop hanging from one shoulder. The one who she guessed was Ritsu stopped by her brother's left, a packed dinner in his hands. Recognition flashed in his eyes as soon as he saw her, and then he relaxed his shoulders and smiled at Momo. Ritsu's girlish face that she remembered was gone and now she had an extraordinarily handsome man staring at her expectantly. It amazed her that he somehow managed to look confident, imposing and even fresh off the shower at 6:30 pm on a work day.

-“Ritsu-kun?” she asked. The other man nodded with an amused smile on his lips. He handed the food to Momiji, who took it, still speechless, and kept on standing on the same spot. Ritsu then approached Momo, and after a little hesitant pause that she almost missed, hugged the girl shyly. “Okaeri”, he whispered in her ear.

-“Thank you for bringing Momiji. Could you…” she started apologetically, in broken Japanese. She felt terrible dismissing her cousin, despite the fact that they arranged together all the details of this meeting that morning.

She liked Ritsu since they talked on the phone days ago. His soothing voice and his gentle words had a way of easing her worries away in a way that she was sure that he wasn't aware of. He didn't comment on her lacking Japanese vocabulary, or the way she struggled to put the words together. She could tell that he was just as polite, kind and considerate as Momiji. When he hugged her she sensed that he cared about her, even after the years that she'd been away.

-“No problem, Momo-chan!” he answered. “I just came by to make the deliveries.” She smiled at him for a brief moment when he stood once again in front of her before turning around and walking back the way he had come with that elegant gait so similar to Momiji's.

She focused her whole attention on her brother. He was watching the waving figure of his retreating cousin, apparently at a loss of what to do. Momiji looked totally different from the boy who had left Germany a month ago. He turned around to face her. The man who stood in front of her seemed like the older version of himself: as if he had lived years while only a month had passed for the rest of the world. Contrary to Ritsu, Momiji seemed completely worn out, almost ready to slump onto bed and sleep the rest of the day off until next morning. She inwardly flinched at the thought of him not taking proper care of himself. She couldn't see well because of the coat, but she could almost bet he had lost weight. Despite all that, he looked just as handsome as the last day she saw him. He held her gaze steady, expectantly, unsure of what to do. He decided to let her make the first move, all the while trying to ignore the deafening thumps of his heart in his ears.

This was the moment she had planned and rehearsed in her mind for almost a month.

-“You never told me the rest of the story”, she started to say in German as soon as she figured that Ritsu was out of hearing range. Momiji turned to look at her. She didn't sound like she was angry, so Momiji took it as a good sign. He started to walk to her slowly. Once he stood next to her she noticed that he'd grown a couple of inches since she last time she saw him.

-“What story?”, he asked cautiously in Japanese. He didn't have a clue of what she was talking about. Momiji opened the door, and then asked Momo with a gesture to go in. Somehow, she understood that he wanted to talk to her alone, in a place where they could say everything they needed to say without anyone else overhearing or running into them. She entered the house before him. If possible, it was colder inside than outdoors. It wasn't just the temperature, but something else she couldn't identify.

Momiji showed her to the living room, and then told her something about having to have dinner before it got cold. He dropped the laptop on a couch, hung his coat to dry, and then left to another room. Momo took off her coat too, and since she could hear him nearby, she decided to continue with the conversation.

-“The story that you made up for Christmas”, Momo started again, following him into the kitchen. He was standing facing away from her, turning the heater on. The blazer he'd been wearing rested on the back of a chair, so that he only had a vest over his white shirt. She was right. He looked thinner. “You see, what the rabbit didn't realize was that the girl loved him. She loved him very much.” He dropped his hands and kept standing there while she spoke. “She would see him sometimes following her around, looking at her silently. When she found out the truth about him, she felt betrayed.” It was awkward talking to his back, but he made no move, so she went on. “It hurt to realize that he didn't consider her strong enough to accept and understand the truth about who he really was. He never said a word to her about it before, and when he did he didn't give her the chance to tell him how she felt about it… to tell him that she would rather face with him whatever happened. She didn't want a bunny on the moon watching over her. She wanted a brother to hug and to stand by her side, where she needed him the most.”

-“Momo-chan…” He only said her name, but didn't try to answer. Instead, he took out two plates from one of the cabinets and two forks from one of the drawers. She waited patiently while he took dinner to the dining room and set the table for two.

He was completely calm, though he was aware of the fact that he should've been terrified. It was just… having Momo there, in his house, made a whole world of a difference. Even the simple action of setting the table for two made his heart and the atmosphere inside the house warm up faster than the artificial heating he had just turned on. His house was slowly feeling like a home because his sister was there. She had come to see him, and she'd said that she loved him. It was an overwhelming feeling, and so far he'd been unable to sort out his emotions enough to let them show on his face.

He had known that Momo would feel betrayed after she learned the truth. He also had the feeling that everything was going to be sorted out for good that night, but he wanted Momo to relax before he could give her an answer. She seemed to have gotten the hint. Momo followed him to the dining room, carrying two canned sodas and the rest of the dinner in her hands. They finally sat down in front of each other and Momiji began to eat after she started. Then they exchanged a few sentences about her flight, but she didn't say where her luggage was. Momiji was told that both Ritsu and Tohru had been involved in the `surprise', and he replied that he kind of knew since Tohru had been acting strange that day when he saw her. When they were almost through their food, she picked up on their previous conversation.

-“What's it going to be, Momiji?” She'd been purposely using his name instead of any other word whenever she addressed him. She finally felt at ease, and she had had the chance to think carefully the words she wanted to say. “Are the rabbit and the girl going to stay separated forever, or will he give his sister a chance? Our parents kept you away from me, they took me away from you, and now you ran away from me… Don't you think that I have a say in this? What about what I want?” She waited for his answer, the food forgotten, even as she still held the fork in her hand.

-“I told you before: the rabbit…”, he took a deep breath, and decided to stop talking in riddles. It was pointless now. “…I …I can't go back to my family. There is no place for me to go back to, and even if I tried, I'd hurt you.” He explained. The way he said the words felt to her as if he was talking to the girl who'd left that same house six years before. As much as that made her upset, she knew that he really believed that he was saying the truth. She had to make him understand how wrong he was.

-“Well, guess what? You don't need to worry about that anymore because you already did! You hurt me because you lied to me!” She wanted to be mad at him, but for some reason she couldn't. The only word that she could think of to describe her feelings at that moment was... disappointment.

-“Momo, you don't understand…” Momiji started.

-“Of course I don't! Nobody ever told me anything!” Frustration tinged each and every word she said. “How am I supposed to understand something that I know nothing about! I don't know why our parents did what they did to us, but it doesn't matter anymore. What matters to me now is that you'd rather stay away from me than taking the risk of telling me the truth. Are you really that scared or is it that you don't care about me after all?” She regretted what she said as soon as she saw Momiji's reaction to her words.

-“How can you say that?” He stood up abruptly. He knew that he was losing control, but he didn't care. “You know nothing about me! How can you talk to me about others making decisions for you! At least now you know how I've felt all these years!” Momo followed him with her eyes now looking up at him. He was seething, and for once in a long time, he was yelling at someone. Of all the things she could've said, those words were the ones he least expected to hear. Anger and hurt showed freely on his face.

So this was what he meant when he told her about a dark side of him that he didn't dare to show anyone.

-“Momiji…” -Momo was really shocked at that moment. All the masks Momiji always wore disappeared and what she saw scared her. He was angry, and she didn't know what to say anymore. Her plan backfired. All the times she planned out this conversation she never considered that he could be as mad at the situation as she was.

-“I begged, Momo. I begged to your father and mother! They never gave me a chance! It is true that it all started because of me, but it wasn't my fault! I didn't ask to be born that way! While you were blissfully ignorant of the situation, I had to live everyday with the whole weight of it! This stupid arrangement was their idea! I didn't want to be forgotten, but they threw me away!!! Then you came, and they gave you everything that I could only dream of! You had the home, the family, the love that I…” His anger overpowered his ability to form coherent sentences. He clenched his fists and started to breathe deeply to try to regain control over his emotions. He had just screamed out thoughts and feelings that he never dared to share with anyone before. “…and now you come here blaming me of being unfair…” The volume of his voice decreased with every word.

-“I… Do you… do you hate me?” -she whispered. She needed to know. It was a thought that had been in her mind since the day he left, when she pictured herself in Momiji's place. He shook his head forcefully.

-“How could I ever hate you? You are my little sister. I've loved you since before you were born.” She knew right then and there that he was saying the truth, and it comforted her to know of his feelings for her. She waited until he was calm again. They needed to talk, and it couldn't wait anymore. They'd lost many years. They were setting everything straight that night.

-“You could have trusted me a little more”, she finally said after a long pause during which Momiji calmed down, though he didn't sit down again. Her words held no reproach at all, but rather an explanation.

-“I didn't want to hurt you, but it seems that I keep doing that, regardless of my good intentions.” His anger about it was directed at himself. His voice was as back to normal as it would get considering the topic of conversation, but she detected the hint of an apology in the way he said the words.

-“Cut it. You see? That is the problem with you: you worry too much.” He snapped his head down to see her, confusion all over his face. “Look, I'm sorry if I didn't react the way you were expecting me to when you told me who you are, but the truth is that I didn't know what to do. I was shocked!” she made a pause. “I need to tell you something, so please let me finish before you say anything else.”

Momiji nodded and waited for her to continue, holding her gaze as she spoke.

-“So, you're my brother. There. I've said it. Take a good look at me. I've said it and I'm not dead, or hurt, or insane. Sure, I was shocked back then, but honestly, what did you expect? It's not every day that you find out that you have a brother and that your parents have been keeping you and him apart for all of your life.” Momo managed to make her voice sound more confident than she felt at that moment. Truth be told, she was scared to death. This was it.

-“You don't know the reasons for that, what it was like…” he started to explain.

-“You're right.” She continued before she lost her nerve. “It's true that I'll never know what it was like for you all these years, but I'm tired of everyone around hiding things from me `for my own good' and `to protect me'.” Her voice carried a peace offering implied that Momiji sensed immediately. He noticed that she was making a pause, as if gathering the courage for what she needed to say next. “You know why I came all the way here?” Momiji shook his head.

-“Grandma told me about that custody thing. The way I see it, I've become your responsibility. You are supposed to take care of me and to protect me. I came here to make sure that you fulfill your duty, either as my guardian or as my brother. It's up to you.” For the first time that night she was smiling wholeheartedly. Once she said the words, her fear disappeared. She really saw the situation that way, but above all, she thought that it was funny the way her brother was trapped now. He had no way of backing off, and she had every intention of making the best out of it.

Momiji smiled bitterly. “I guess that was Papa's idea of making it up to me for everything. Only after his death he finally gave me what I wanted.” He recalled the many times he had asked to see Momo, ever since the day she was born, and how he had always been denied the chance.

Momo was shocked. “You asked Papa for it?” She didn't think that her father and brother ever took the time to come to an agreement about it. She rather believed that Papa had imposed what he thought best for both his children without letting them know… again.

-“Not exactly”, Momiji explained, confirming her belief. “I didn't know about him arranging that I'd become your guardian until after his death. Not that I mind, of course!” He finally smiled at her. “What I asked him for was to have the chance to get close to you, even if I could never tell you who I am.”

-“And he never let you? Why?” She knew that Momiji always wanted to get close to her. He'd seen him following her around when she was a child, staying late after violin lessons to see her, `running into her' once after school to walk her home. Why did he have to go through that much trouble? Why wasn't he allowed to see her?

-“He said that the truth was better left unknown.” Bitterness dripped from every word.

-“So he decided for the both of us and he kept us apart. It doesn't make sense. What could've you done that could hurt me?” That was the root of it all, wasn't it? His father… their father was scared of what his son could do to his daughter.

-“You'll never believe it.” Momiji sighed. He knew that he was the only one left who could explain everything to Momo, but how was he supposed to do that now that he had no way to prove the curse to her? Momo could see that Momiji was struggling to decide whether to tell her or not.

-“Tell me. I want to know… please?”

-“Mother couldn't handle it, so he was afraid that you wouldn't be able to do it either” he explained.

-“I think that I kind of know something” she interrupted. Something just clicked in her mind and finally made sense. “You are the rabbit, is that it?” It was a crazy idea, but it was the only explanation that she could think of, the only reason that could possibly fit.

The blood froze in his veins. `There's no way she knows.'

-“Father told me a story about a curse in the family, but is it true?” Momo stood from her place at the table. Momiji could only nod, unsure of what he should do or say. “You see, like you, Papa used to hide the truth in stories, so I pieced it together until now.” She was finally standing in front of him, still having to look up to see his eyes. She could tell that he felt just scared as much as she was excited at that moment. “You are the rabbit! But how…” she tackled Momiji by surprise, knocking the air out of him and sending both of them to the floor. She fell on top of him, still holding Momiji close to her.

`He didn't deny it.'

He stayed on the floor, unmoving, trying to make some sense of what just happened. She waited for a reaction from him, something that told her that he was fine. Slowly, hesitant, Momiji returned the embrace after what seemed like an eternity for Momo.

-“It's over. The curse was broken years ago.” He answered. His voice was once again that same pained voice of their father's.

`This is it. How is she going to take it? She believed the story so far, but what will she think of me now?' It'd made things easier than he thought having Momo provide the explanation herself. He could hardly believe that his… their father had told her about the curse. `Why didn't he tell her about me too?'

She relaxed and put her ear over his heart, still clinging to him in a tight hug. During the days they were apart, this was what she had missed the most. His heart was beating wildly in his chest, and his whole body radiated raw fear. `Why is he so scared?'

-“So that's the big secret? All of this mess was because of that?” He didn't answer, but he started to let go of her. She felt that he was trembling. She knew that she needed to explain herself better right at that moment, before he jumped to wrong conclusions. “You should've told me before. I bet you were the cutest rabbit ever!” Momo whispered. As soon as she said the words, she felt Momiji's whole body relax and his breathing slowly going back to its regular pace.

They stayed on the floor for a long time, embracing each other and enjoying their mutual company. She slid to his side to avoid crushing Momiji longer than necessary.

-“You said that the rabbit is still sad because he can never go back to his family” she said. “Then you told me that you have no place to go back to. You really think so?” It was time that he realized how wrong he was, and it was up to her to help him out.

-“I…” he started. He still recalled the conversation with Akito the day after his curse was lifted. Her words were cruel, and they hurt him effectively. Even so, he had no option but to agree with her. His parents would never take him back after the curse was gone. He would forever remain a stranger to his family.

-“What about me? I know that we don't have parents anymore, but I am your sister. We are a family: you and I.” If possible, she held him closer than before. She felt the desperate need to make him understand. As Grandma told her that day, she now had the chance to make a home for the both of them.

-“I thought that your home was in Germany with the people you love.” He heard her saying that she loved him before, but would that love be strong enough to make her stay with him for good?

-“So you decided that I didn't want to have a brother… You thought that because our mother didn't accept you, I wouldn't either.” She didn't feel bitter about it. She understood his fear to a certain degree.

-“You just proved that I was wrong” he chuckled. Momiji recalled Tohru agreeing with him that Momo would do that. `She knew all along.'

-“It's over, Momo. We must leave all of that behind.” The subtle plea implied in his voice amazed her. He was able to say so many things at once with just the right few words! She was not giving in about this so easily, though. She wanted something from him before they did leave behind that part of their lives.

-“I want you to promise me something. I want you to tell me the truth always, no matter how hard or painful you think it could be.” She was not giving up on this request.

-“I promise.” His voice was firm and honest. He had no trouble or reservation on making that promise. Truth be told, he was tired of all the lies and secrets in his past.

-“What about you? Don't you want anything from me?” It was only fair that he asked for something from her. Whatever it was, she was willing to concede.

-“You're here already.” Contentment started to soothe his soul. `All I've ever wanted was to have someone in my life who I can call my own' he thought.

-“I've always been your sister. All you needed to do was ask,” she lightly scolded him. Momiji recalled Tohru saying the same thing.

-“I did, but you decided to stay in Germany” he countered as a lame means of defense.

-“Don't you know that I would've made a different decision back there if only I've known all the facts? I thought that you'd be better off without me, that I would be a burden… that you'd regret taking me in some day.” Grandma was right. `How was he supposed to understand? He didn't know my reasons. Of course he felt hurt and rejected.'

-“How… Why did you think that?” He started to laugh. It was so simple, so obvious now that he thought about it. “That's right! You believed that I was your cousin… and I… I thought that you wanted to stay because you liked it better there. Besides, Grandma's there too…”

-“It's the first time that I hear you calling her that way.” It gave her a warm feeling to hear her brother talking about their grandmother. It made it all so real, and it made her extremely happy to know that they had more things in common after all.

-“I call her Grandma all the time. You didn't know because you are never around when I do.” His smile was different from all the ones she had seen on his face before. There was something new about it…

-“My Grandma, your Grandma.” Momo touched the tip of his nose with her finger, a playful spark in her eyes. He laughed again, and the sound of it sent a warm current through Momo. “Now that we are together, how do you want me to call you?” she asked.

He turned a little serious, pondering the question. “I don't know. I guess it's up to you, Momo-chan. You can always call me by my name if you want.” She knew that he would feel very disappointed if she did that.

-“I think that I'll stick with nii-san if you don't mind. `Chan' would sound kind of funny, with you being so much taller than I, don't you think?” Yes, that sounded just right. Momiji was currently close to being 1.90 m tall. She could never call him `chan' again!

-“I can live with that” he joked. “I was kind of scared that you'd come up with a weird nickname.”

She saw his eyes. They held the same sparkle that she saw a moment before. “There it is!” she whispered, amazed.

-“What?” he asked, confused, but the sparkle, she noted, stayed where it was.

-“The smile! It finally made it to your eyes!” She knelt by his side to look at his eyes better.

-“Really?” Momiji laughed again. It wasn't because he thought that what Momo said was funny. It was a laughter born out of pure happiness. `This is the way it should've always been.' He started to stand up from the floor. The house didn't seem so bleak and empty as before. It started to feel like a home.

-“Momiji nii-san” Momo tried the name aloud. If possible, Momiji's grin got bigger. `This time it's for real.' Everything would be alright now.

-“Just so you know…” Momo looked up at him when he started to speak. He made a little pause. “I'm taking the responsibility of taking care of you as your brother, not as your guardian. And… you'll never be a burden.” There was finality in his statement, a strong resolution in his voice that allowed no dispute. He'd been given the chance to become Momo's brother at last. His father entrusted him with his sister's future and happiness. He couldn't fail. He'd be strong for her.

Momiji held out his hand to help her up.

`This is my big brother.' Momo felt safe again. She was at home.

She took his hand.