Ending the Game

Final Version

By: Illia Sadri

Disclaimer: Of course you silly gooses I don't own Fruits Basket.

Author Notes: Well, this is a very odd combination of first person writing methods. Otherwise this is a major rewrite as I wanted to improve certain areas of this fic. Some things are similar to the first one but much of it is revamped. I really do think this is the better version.

"Ha… to…ri" I manage to call out. It's rather disturbing just how raspy that just sounded.

Sure enough he is in the room with me. It's sometimes hard to tell since he isn't exactly the best company. Everything Hatori says is business and he is quite blunt at that. While he isn't much company, my options are rather slim considering I know Miss Honda would fuss too much; Shigure… the last thing I need is him relaying ideas for whatever smut he is working on now; and the damn cat is just plain loud and obnoxious. After awhile I either get bored or am requesting to be left alone again.

It is starting to hurt again as I start hacking again. On of the most painful and unnerving feelings one can experience is to slowly suffocate to death. It is enough to make my eyes water. At least it if I cry now it doesn't matter. Hatori has seen it enough times in his life and nobody else would dare criticize me for it.

"Yuki, you shouldn't be speaking." He takes something out of one of the bags he has set in my room. "I am going to administer another painkiller."

I nod in agreement as he takes one of his syringes and dispenses the medication through my IV tubing. The truth is that I prefer not being medicated as much and simply endure the pain for the little longer I have left. However, it is under this condition that I am allowed to remain at home through my illness.

It isn't long before the medication takes effect. I can feel all of my senses blurring to the point I can make out nothing of my surroundings. I've become accustomed to this, the side effects of the drugs, yet it still strikes me as a strange sensation; it is almost as though I am floating, yet something still retains my senses to this world. However, it is only temporary as the pain it is intended to prevent returns with a vengeful fury.

For a minute or so I only feel a sharp pain in my chest but then the sensation spreads and I realize that it is becoming more difficult to breathe again. With every fit that comes and goes I am prepared to leave this life and to be reborn. As far as I am concerned my body is dead, only my mind that is holding me, keeping me awake, forcing me to bear the pain for awhile longer.

Every time though when I think I have reached my limit Hatori brings me back. Despite him being nearly frightening in his coldness and his lack of emotions, there is no doubting his abilities as a doctor. I can feel him working on me, gently easing the pressure of the fluids in my lungs. I think he adjusted the flow of the oxygen tank and it is flowing into the mask on my face. Eventually I am able to breathe again, small labored puffs coming from my mouth.

Once Hatori is satisfied with his accomplishment he takes a seat next to me. The look on his face was something I had never seen before. It looked as though he was struggling with this, like he failed at something. It's times like these that I wish I was more alert to tell for sure.

"Yuki…" he finally says to me, breaking several minutes of silence, or it could be an hour or more; I've long ago lost any sense of time since I've fallen ill in this bed. "I suppose it is best to be honest with you. I am not sure if I can do much more." He pauses for some amount of time, "Right now… there is a possibility that you may die. I'm sorry."

Hatori finally said it. I was wondering when he would admit it to himself. Between the extent of my illness and the curse that periodically transforms me into my rat form, it made any efforts he made rather futile. While it can be considered a miracle that I retain my human form at all, the rat has certainly revealed itself enough to be another complication. "Not… your… It's… not your… fault." I force myself to say to him. Every word ached and my words are so soft I can barely make out my own words. I had to say it though, to let him know that I accept my fate.

"Yuki, please reconsider. I can only offer you very basic care in your room. I know of certain colleagues at the hospital. An Intensive Care Unit is better equipped for what you are going through. They have assisted me in taking care of Akito during his worst moments." Hatori pleas with me. He rarely shows this side, his caring side, not since he lost Kana.

I cannot endure what he is asking. I can easily predict the events should I agree to it. I would be kept alive longer, only because the machines would force my body to keep working when it doesn't want to. I'd spend my final days and hours much like Akito, in pain and absolutely helpless. If Hatori was unable to cure this, I couldn't expect a miracle from anybody else. The sight of needles causes me to tense up. The image I have of myself laying in that white bed with tubes and wires attached in every imaginable place is enough to make my heart race. I don't want to die in a hospital or at the main house. I want it to be here. I rather be at home with them. I can hear Shigure enter my room and says something to Hatori. It's hard to make out exactly what they are saying. If I could will myself to stop coughing I would be able to hear better. From the muddled words I can make out, Shigure mentions something regarding the family.

"He doesn't have much longer, Shigure. I suppose that it is best if you, Honda and Kyo see him before they arrive. You know that once Akito gets here you may not get to say your goodbyes." Hatori tells Shigure this, as though I am not in the room. I hate when he is so damn casual about everything. I can admit it to myself but I don't want to hear it coming from him, not like that.

I don't want Akito here. He knows of my condition and if he sees me like this then he will know he managed to best me. I would rather endure the stupid cat in his mutated form than to endure Akito. I wouldn't doubt he would finish me off himself, just as a example that he can play god in this family. I shouldn't be scared of that, of him killing me, not now but still….. "A…kito" I mumble. I don't think they hear me as they still keep talking and Hatori gathers his coat.

"I just gave Yuki his medication. He should be fine while I go to assist transporting the family here. I should be back in a couple of hours." Hatori mentions to Shigure as he starts heading out the door.

Once he was gone Shigure sat next to me and started mussing up my hair. I would normally have complained and told him to stop; but for some reason it actually feels nice right now. All this time he endured the bickering. I can't even recall exactly how many times and in how many ways Kyo and myself managed to destroy this house, or at least large chunks of it. He saved me from Akito and I never remember thanking him.

"Th… Thank you… Shig..ure" I force myself to say, but I am not going to be able to do much more than that. I wasn't going to get one of those long winded speeches from the death bed like I have seen in so many movies and television shows. There wasn't a point anyway. I have learned that words don't go very far at all.

Shigure greeted it with a slight grin. I think he knew what it was for. "You know, you really shouldn't keep talking. Not only will you wear yourself out but if you insist on continuing I might just have to write it down on paper and use it in my next book."

It never changes. Shigure is never going to grow up. "Don't…… you dare…" I tell him. The last think I want is for him to start writing stories on these past weeks. It is not like anything of interest was happening. Ever since I was caught in that storm, every day had been the same struggle; sleeping and coughing and laying still in a medicated daze. Nothing that would really make a worthy story, all those novels and stories I have read made it seem much more. A bunch of liars.

I am starting to hack again. My chest is burning. It's definitely getting much worse than before. It's almost like I can feel the fluid in my lungs consume more of the empty space I need for air. Only a little while left. I can't stand for it to go on much longer.

It's obvious that Shigure is concerned. He isn't joking around now actually holding me. He's holding me like a brother. "Yuki….. Just try to calm down and keep breathing."

"What's going on?" Miss Honda comes dashing in and takes a place on the other side of me. She is also worried about me and I turn to look directly at her. I don't want her to see me like this. It would only hurt her and worry her. That is why I asked for her to stay away. I don't want her to worry for me, I just want her to be happy after I am gone, much like she recovered after her mother passed on. If only there was a way I could smile for her like she keeps doing for everyone else. Maybe then she will be able to accept that everything will eventually be okay.

Unfortunately, I am too helpless to do anything more but to clutch her tiny hands and hold back the tears forming again and withhold my instinct to moan or cry out. It's useless; I can feel the tears falling over my cheeks, and she wipes them away with her gentle touch. "It's okay Yuki." she whispers to me, repeating over and over like a prayer or mantra.

I don't know when it stopped. The bouts come and go so suddenly, yet the residual pain takes some time to ease away. I am grateful for these moments, where it doesn't hurt and wear me out further. My body is tired yet my mind refuses to acknowledge the desire to rest. Instead, I gaze across my room, taking in every messy detail one last time, burning the image in my mind. The painkiller must have worn off already since it seems my senses have returned to me.

"Damn Rat." I an hear the stupid cat muttering. He must be sulking in the far corner where I cannot see him. I ignore him since this is a rare occasion where if he picks a fight there is no doubt he would win. Still, I can't understand exactly why he would even bother. Does he really need the satisfaction of seeing me like this? Will he end up kicking my body when I die? Only as proof to himself that it isn't another case of the rat tricking the cat.

"Damn mouse." he mutters again. "I still want to beat you in a fight. I guess that means you need be the stupid stubborn rodent and not die on me."

Kyo… he wants me to live so I can fight him. He is as selfish as always, however, I was half expecting him to be shoving me into the grave along with Akito. I guess even the ill tempered cat does have a soul after all. I never new it existed.

Shigure just shakes his head at the notion. "I must say the one good thing to come out of all this is my house hasn't had a single room destroyed for a record amount of time." How many times had the cat and I or the cat and the cow or Kagura and the dumb cat gone through walls? Shigure makes a good point, and rather amusing. I am trying to keep down a chuckle right now. It has been too long since anything has even seemed remotely funny. "Maybe I should invite some cute girls over before Kagura and Haru arrive and destroy this place.

Miss Honda also seems to have found Shigure's comments amusing since she is grinning ear to ear, but she is still looking at me with those lovely blue eyes. She is so beautiful in so many ways. I love so many things about her, my dearest friend. At least now she won't have to choose between Kyo and myself, never wanting to hurt either of us. She couldn't hurt anyone if she tried though.

"Well, I am rather glad that Yuki is smiling." She says. I didn't realize that I was. It almost seems like normal right now. Like a typical family. For once nobody is fussing or crying or bickering. It's relaxing, that's how I want it to stay, at least for now.

I can even make out the cat sitting by my feet, scowling at Shigure. "You are such an idiot pervert you know that?" He will never learn any form of tact, it is a certainty. However, I suppose that is just the nature of the cat. Crude and stupid.

It's getting hard to breathe again. This time though it doesn't hurt like all the other attacks did, only my lungs freeze in place. Something tells me this is my time. I'm ready.

Do they notice? I can't tell……. Wait…. Now I can somewhat hear them. They are still there even though I can't see them. I can't make out what they are saying. Goodbyes? I can't feel Honda's hand anymore. I can't feel anything.

I guess Akito won't have the pleasure of ending this life himself or even the satisfaction of watching it. I know he would have wanted to see this. In the end he won, but I am the mouse, if I have to lose it will have to be on my own terms. I won't be afraid of him anymore.

If I am reincarnated I wish to be normal. Anything but the high school prince, not the rat.

I would say to bring me anywhere but with this family but it is because of them I am smiling, and because of her.

To live a lifetime like she is living now. To smile all the time.

Let me be like her.

So I could…..

Love…