Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Every Single One ❯ Will You Still Be My Friend? ( Chapter 7 )

Chapter Five: Will You Still Be My Friend?

 

A/N: Hello everyone! :D I don't have much to say/write about at the moment, so I'll just say, thanks to anyone who has read and/or reviewed! : ) I hope you enjoy this chapter.

 

~*~

 

It was so cold. She didn't feel any of the warmth that Shigure's house held. Tohru felt the icy pain of loneliness even more so than the first time she had left the Sohma home.

 

The sun had not even risen yet when Tohru got up in the morning to prepare for the school day, As she quietly got dressed, for she shared a room with her cousin, she felt sudden surges of emotions. Some were emotions that she had never felt before. She also felt thoughts…dark thoughts…creeping into her ever cheerful mind.

 

“No!” Tohru put her hands to her head and shook it from side to side, almost as if she were trying to rid her mind of such thoughts. After her small out burst, Tohru heard her cousin mumble something, watched as she turned over in her bed, and then went back to sleep.

 

Tohru felt her face flush and she bit her bottom lip. She had forgotten that she was sharing a room with her cousin. After all, when she had lived with her mother she had a room to herself, and when she had lived with the Sohma's she had both a room and bathroom to herself.

 

After getting dressed Tohru slowly made her way downstairs; with each step that she took downwards along the staircase…A memory from her stay at the Sohma household flashed before her eyes. Thud. The memory of Kyo coming in through the ceiling. Thud. Yuki giving her the pretty yellow ribbons, which she happened to be wearing in her hair, for White Day. Thud. Hatori asking her what snow became when it melted. Thud. Momiji and his mother and little Momo. Thud. Kagura saying how she didn't love Kyo, but forced herself to like him. Thud. Ayame and the gap/bridge. Thud. Haru and Rin running away to Shishio's house. Thud. Kisa and Hiro…Growing and maturing. Thud. Ritsu trying to change and find self-confidence. Thud. Shigure telling her about the curse…the cat of the zodiac's only purpose is to make the other zodiac's feel better about their curse. Thud. Kureno having been freed from the curse all those many years ago. Thud. Akito being female. Thud. The warm, white cloth fabric…wrapped around her body…arms…arms so strong…Kyo's arms…

 

“Ah!” Tohru gasped, her eyes and mind came back into focus. She could feel as her body swayed back and forth and then her body tripped down the rest of the few stairs. Her whole body ached and she was starting to feel the prickling of tears. The pain was overwhelming her body, while the memories were overwhelming her mind. She felt so pitiful…and so useless…Powerless to do anything…”Promise me that you will show your true feelings. Cry, shout,…get angry, if that is what you're feeling;…And don't apologize all the time…”

 

Her head, which had been bent downward, sprang upwards as Kyo's words pierced her mind. The few, tiny tears that had barely leaked out of the corner of her eyes were wiped away by the force of her head movement. She would try…She would try to be strong! Even more so on school days.

 

Clumsily she pushed herself up into a standing position. After a second or two she got her footing set and started to make her way to the kitchen. With each step she took, Tohru chanted her new mantra in her mind, “Don't hide what you feel…Be strong!” So, there she was in the kitchen with a smile on her face, trying so hard to be strong.

 

“Tohru-chan! What are you doing up so early in the morning and dressed too!” The shocked voice of her aunt reached her ears. The tone of her aunt's voice was so sharp that it hurt her ears, and yet, it hurt her heart as well. She would no longer be called “their little flower” by a smiling Shigure…and the “Tohru-chan” from her aunt was sharp, not happy and caring like how Shigure always said it. Tohru knew just how cruel and selfish Shigure could be, but she also knew that the part of him that he called a mask was truly a part of who he was. Tohru could also see the guilt that his eyes held when he looked at her sometimes, and knew that he the weight of what he was going to do. She knew that that he had cared for her. She wanted that back…Just like she wanted to break the curse…She was going to do all that for the Sohma's…No! She knew, that deep down, she wanted to do all of that for herself and Kyo.

 

“No!” Her voice rang out around the room. How could she think such selfish thoughts? But that was what Kyo had wanted her to do now. Could she really do that?

 

“What are you talking about, Tohru-chan?” Came the voice of her uncle from the kitchen table.

 

Her uncle's voice had brought Tohru back to reality, quickly, “W-What? O-Oh, it was…It was nothing, uncle, I was just protesting over the c-cooking. I'll…I'll cook.” There, she had fixed the problem easily enough, and cooking would help her deal with everything. Help her escape what was actually happening and instead, slip back into better times.

 

As she cooked she could remember a childish Shigure tip-toeing into the room, Kyo drinking from the milk cartoon, Yuki only being half awake, and herself smiling and humming. Now she was cooking with dulled eyes and a smile that did not seem to shine.

 

Once she was finished cooking, Tohru placed the food on the table unemotionally. Just as she was taking her seat, Tohru watched her cousin, who happened to look sleep deprived, as she made her way down the stairs. Her eyebrows rose as she saw Tohru put down the last plate and then taking her seat. “You cook? No wonder those three guys wanted you.” Her cousin had smirked, but said nothing more as she sat down and ate.

 

Just because Tohru's cousin stopped talking, didn't mean that all talk about her “inappropriate” behavior at the Sohma house did. “Yes, Tohru-chan, were you their slave? Beckoning to each and every one of their wants and desires?” Here Tohru's uncle stopped and looked at her with a smug smirk on his face. “Did you become to loose for them…Tohru-chan?”

 

Tohru could feel as her eyes widened. Everyone thought that she was clueless and naïve to such talk as her uncle's. But, she knew what they were talking about. Yet, such things always flustered her…And, in the past, whenever Shigure would mention something such as that, Kyo or Yuki had always been there to put Shigure in his place. No Kyo. No Yuki. No Kyo!

 

She no longer had anyone to protect her!

 

This realization shocked Tohru…Scared her. So, without thinking, Tohru knocked over her chair as she got up and rushed out of the kitchen. She had not seen her grandfather enter nor heard him tell her uncle off for his rude words. All Tohru was to feel at that moment was the heavy aura that radiated from the house. She could feel the emotions of hate and un-want and she just felt like leaving; never coming back. This was impossible but, for now, she would just go to school.

 

As Tohru ran out the door, she had not seen the sad look on her grandfather's face.

 

~*~

 

Her footsteps were heavy as she walked up to the school. Her hair was covering her face; hiding the tears that were slowly gliding down her face. Her fingers wrapped tightly around her bag, which held her school supplies. Tohru had known that she was lost in her thoughts, but that had not mattered to her. After all, she was walking to the school alone now.

 

“Are you okay…Honda-san?” She…She knew that voice! The shock made her stop right away. Her head snapped up; her hair flowing around her face and her newly fallen tears were taken to the wind by the force of her movement. The tears sparkled in the sunlight and her eyes widened and her fingers loosened their grip on her school bag; for there was the pale skin, deep purple eyes, and shiny dark silver hair of one, Sohma Yuki.

 

Tohru just stood there, frozen. She didn't know what to do or what could be said. Had he remembered her? But one look at the smile that had played across his face had answered the unspoken question. His smile had been cold, so cold, and exactly like it used to be. It was the smile that he use to give to everyone before Tohru had appeared in the Sohma's lives.

 

It was then that she realized that she had not answered his question, “Oh…Um…That is…” Yet, words seemed to fail her.

 

“I'm sorry; I guess your name isn't Honda Tohru then.” With that he gave Tohru one last look and then left, heading back to the school.

 

Even though Yuki left, as Tohru continued to stand in the same spot as moments before, she felt someone watching her. Quickly turning around she saw Kyo looking at her. Her heart stopped. Their eyes met. Tohru felt her mouth open as if she was going to say something, but nothing seemed to be able to come out.

 

“Are you just going to stand there looking like an idiot, or are you going to say something? Are you another one of those fan club girls? Don't know what you see in that kuso nezumi. I hate him and I hate girls like you.” Tohru just watched as Kyo left for the school with an annoyed look on his face. The happiness of seeing the two of them again vanished within the instant. He hated her…

 

He hated her!

 

The bag fell from her hands and she crumbled to the hard concrete ground. As the other students walked to the school she knew that they were all looking at her, but she didn't care. She had to start all over again.

 

She thought about all the smiles he had given just to her. All the playful banter that they had with each other and being held in his arms…With only the sheet between the two of them. Right at that moment, it made her wonder if Kyo…If Kyo had loved her...

 

Those thoughts were erased from her mind as she heard the ringing of the school's warning bell; if Tohru didn't hurry, than she would be late to her classes.

 

~*~

 

Slowly the day was passing. It had seemed like she had been in school for three days rather than only a few hours. The dangerously painful moving of time had only been enhanced by the ringing of the lunch bell.

 

She had been avoiding any Sohma all day long and it was slowly killing her. Tohru wanted nothing more than to smile with them…Happy and content. But, at that moment Tohru felt nothing like that, in fact, she felt anything but that. “Are ya goin' ta lunch, Tohru?”

 

Her eyes lain black upon the concerned face of Uotani; Tohru only nodded her head in acknowledgement and made her way out of the school chair. “I feel pain coming from you, Tohru-chan and I feel confusion from the Sohma's.” The soft voice of Hanajima simply said as the three made their way to the cafeteria.

 

Neither one asked what was wrong, but Tohru could feel their unasked questions prodding into her. Oh, how she wanted nothing more than to tell them the truth, but she couldn't. Even if the Sohma's could no longer remember her and the promise she had made with them, she did. She remembered that promise and she was not ready to break any promises…yet.

 

~*~

 

For some reason, beyond his knowledge, Yuki had wanted to talk and be friends with one Honda Tohru. He knew that it had nothing to do with him having a crush on her. No, for another reason beyond him, he knew that his heart belonged to someone…Someone else that seemed to hide like a ghost in his mind. Honda seemed to be more to him.

 

This confused Yuki more so than anything else that his mind thought of on that day. After all, he had never actually talked to her before this morning, and her reaction…It had been more than a little odd. Though her behavior had been odd, it had been her eyes that had confused Yuki the most…

 

Those large chocolate orbs had lightened up the moment his face was reflected in them. Yet, they also held recognition. A recognition that had told him that she knew him more than others; one that said she knew his smile was not true and this recognition scared him. To him the recognition was a question of how and when.

 

All of that didn't really matter all that much. Yuki just longed to be her friend. His soul longed for it, almost as if he had felt her friendship once before. He felt this way with two other classmates: Uotani Arisa and Hanajima Saki. Though this feeling of already knowing them was not as powerful, it was still there.

 

It made him wonder if anyone else would make him feel this way and he also wondered if the others felt this way. They all seemed to be behaving differently to say the least, each dipping into deep thought, even Kyo and Momiji.

 

Behavior and though were not the only weird thing happening lately. His dreams; they seemed so real, almost as if they were actual memories rather than images created randomly from the mind. And he was positive that he saw Honda, Uotani, and Hanajima in those realistic dreams; dreams that consisted of flashes and moments of normal, everyday things.

 

Every one of those “normal, every day thing”…Had never even happened. It was just as if his mind had just created these dreams as any other.

 

None of it made sense and it seemed as if the older members of the Sohma's didn't know about any happenings that could have caused this. In all truths, it seemed as if the older members were changing and becoming better people. Ritsu now had a steady girlfriend and had gained an unknown courage that allowed him to no longer cross-dress. Meanwhile his brother, Ayame, was becoming less and less aggravating.

 

Why wasn't this the same for the younger Sohma's? Why wasn't it the same for him? Instead, none of the younger members, himself included, had changed at all. And no matter how hard he tried to change, he just couldn't! He had no idea how to nor where to start from.

 

He hated this feeling; this feeling of being confused and left in the dark. All he wanted was answers.

 

~*~

 

Kyo didn't know what the matter was with him. All he knew was that something was not right all together. At night his dreams were filled with the images of that Honda girl. They were images of her when she had been so little…The images of her playing in the sand at the park; when he had first seen her and her mother Kyoko…Images of her smiling, laughing, and what many would consider flirting, with him…Images of her warm body being held in his arms. The last images, of him and her hugging had one that was covered with a white and flowing sheet, while the other was without.

 

It wasn't only in his dreams that such “pictures” appeared in his mind. They also appeared randomly in day dreams throughout the day. They popped up in the past two days, more on this day (for she was in all of his classes), then the previous day. Yet, they came upon him whenever he was unaware and this confused him more than anything else in the past days.

 

This morning, when he had seen her, he hadn't meant to be so mean to her. He had wanted to smile at her and hug her. At that moment he had not cared if he was going to transform into a cat or not; he had a feeling that she wouldn't have cared either way. Where this assumption came from he didn't know, but he knew that it was true.

 

No matter he wanted to do this though, he knew that he could not. He just wasn't a people person and he did not know how to deal with relationships of any kind.

 

This didn't bother him, but what did scare him was the feeling that he could only describe as love. Whenever he thought of her, dreamt of her, or saw her…His heart pounded and he felt light headed…All he wanted was to kiss her…These emotions were so strong inside his heart, but how they came about he wasn't sure. He hadn't felt this way only days before. So why was he feeling this way all of a sudden?

 

Every answer he came up with seemed more and more ridicules. Nothing matched up and it made his anger rise. He felt his blood boil when he thought of how clueless he was to even his own feelings.

 

BANG! Kyo felt his fist come in contact with a locker. He tightened his fist and felt his eyelids cover his eyes. He needed to control his anger better, but that seemed to be an impossibility with him. That didn't matter at the moment, he had been on his way to lunch and he didn't feel like missing it.

 

Taking a deep breath Kyo continued down the hallway and down to the cafeteria. Once he was down there he paid for his food (he wouldn't eat Yuki's horrid food if he had another option), and then made his way outside. He started toward the usual spot where he sat with his cousins (right under the large tree on the grounds), but stopped. By the base of the tree where Yuki and Tohru, along with the damn Yankee and the scary denpa girl; Yuki and Tohru where talking to each other…But what, exactly, where they talking about?

 

~*~

 

They were talking about nothing. This fact didn't bother Tohru in the least, all that mattered was the she was talking to Yuki. At first she wasn't going to go anywhere near the old lunch haunt of hers, but her feet took her there automatically.

 

She had wanted to turn back…That is, until she remembered that day all so long ago…

 

-Flashback-

 

It had been her “first” day of high school, or that was how she always seemed to think of it; that day that she came to school with Sohma Yuki for the first time.

 

She could remember how he spoke of the curse, and of Akito, and of her memory. He talked of what-ifs that Tohru thought could never become possible. The what-ifs did become possible though the circumstances were reversed. This fact did not change the promise that she had made to Yuki. The promise that she would still be his friend even if she no longer remembered him. Just because it was he that no longer remembered her didn't change anything.

 

-End Flashback-

 

So, here she was, talking to Yuki. Restarting the friendship that she had with him and prolonging this promise to Haru, Momiji, and Kyo. It made her smile when she thought of starting all over again…Of being given a second chance…

 

~Those were the words that Tohru told herself, yet, just how true were they?~

 

~*~

 

A/N: Finished and done with chapter! I hope that you all enjoyed that and if you did, or even if you didn't, please tell me so in a review. It would be greatly appreciated. :) Anyway, there will be no preview this time, because I plan to have the next “chapter” up by tomorrow. Though, keep in mind, the next chapter is going to be a transition chapter, or what one might consider a filler chapter. I doubt that it will even be a full page.

 

Since there will be no preview, I'll tell you all of a little plot bunny that attacked me in my sleep the other night. ;) It was an idea for a crossover fanfic, which will be a first for me, and it will be a HP/FB crossover. I promise that it will be nothing like the others, and I plan on finishing it like I plan on finishing this one. I have the main plot all worked out in my head and I'm sure that all the subplots will come easily enough. So, check out a fanfic entitled, “Ashes of Curses”. It is in the HP section of Fanfiction.Net, unless you guys think I should do otherwise. I hope that you all check it out. Well, I believe that is enough self advertising for one day. Until next time, when we get to chapter six: Heartache. : )