Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Every Single One ❯ Continuous Guilt ( Chapter 13 )

Chapter Eleven: Continuous Guilt

 

A/N: Hello everyone. : ) I don't have that much to say, so, I hope you enjoy this chapter, though it is slightly short.

 

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Freedom was a concept he knew of, but would never be able to understand. For, Hatori had never been free-he was always bound by the curse. He was blind to love and chained away from freedom. At least, that had been what he had thought at one time, but…Honda Tohru.

 

She had changed his whole outlook on life. She had reminded him of what he had lost, but also, of the second chance he and Kana had gained.

 

Kana, she had been his first love, thus, he would love her forever…Hope for her happiness forever…Wish that spring could last forever. Yet, no matter how many times Ayame said that what happened had work out only for Kana-Hatori knew he was mistaken. If it hadn't been for the tragedy between himself and Kana then…

 

Then he never would have met her. He never would have known Mayu. While he would be too forward of himself to have said love, friendship was found in her. Friendship and…something else…

 

It seemed as of late that almost all the zodiac members had found “more than friends”. Of course, the biggest couple he could think of was Kyo and Tohru-they both had loved each other for so long, but neither one had admitted that they had loved the other, a tragedy like himself and Kana. At least, that could almost be considered a fact, since Kyo had lost his memory of Tohru…Almost.

 

After all, it seemed as if everyone had gained some form of Tohru back in their memories. Whether it was just quick flashes of chocolate colored eyes and long, brown hair or all of their memories in tact, so, Kyo still had a chance to regain his memories and tell Tohru how he feels before it would be too late. It seemed that the closer the zodiac member had been to Tohru decided how much of their memories of her they would receive back.

 

The first member who had come to see him about their memory regain had been Ritsu who had gotten his memories back after his date with Mii. Then it had been Ayame-he called Hatori on his cell phone after Mine and himself had visited the main house. From there the list had continued. The ones who remembered where Hiro, Kisa, and Kagura, then Haru and Rin-those two had told him of their memory regain and how they had gained it why they had made love to each other. Both had said this without shame and without blushes upon their faces. The final four who came to him had been Momiji, Kureno, Yuki, and Shigure. Though, Shigure had just told him that he had been freed from the curse and could remember Tohru, but not the plan he had come with before he had lost his memories.

 

All of them…They had all gained some part of their memories back and they were all freed from the curse. Now there were only two left, himself and Kyo. Yet, everything about Kyo had always been surrounded by mystery.

 

But what about himself, would he, too, be shrouded in mystery for his body still had the curse upon it?

 

What had saved the others? How has they been able to be released from the burden upon their bodies? It wasn't fair-this thought came to him, for, no matter how nice a person may be…They would always be selfish and always wish for fairness. Why couldn't he-No, that would be too selfish, too blessed.

 

One whom has always been cursed can never be blessed. Even if the curse were to be broken, the Sohma's souls would always be damned. Damnation…Hell…Heat…Hatori noted on the fact that summer was settled heavy upon Japan.

 

“With summer comes stillness, with spring comes change.” Hatori's voice was heavy but soft as he spoke those words.

 

“You know, right then, you sounded…Just like Kana.” A voice resounded from behind Hatori. He knew who the voice belonged to; after all, he had been friends with her for almost five years now.

 

“What are you doing here, Mayu?” Hatori asked, his normal face of indifference showed slight surprise.

 

She sighed, closed her eyes, and shook her short hair and then replied, “I came here to talk to you about Honda-san and you Sohmas'.” She paused for a moment, “Shigure used her didn't he…He used her for some scheme of his, didn't he? And you had to suppress her memory of the Sohmas' right?”

 

Hatori wished that he could have avoided such questions, but Mayu was a strong willed person and would not let up until she got an answer. Thus, Hatori brought his hands to his face and tried to rub the stress out of his muscles. “Honda-san didn't have her memories erased of the Sohmas'; rather, the Sohmas' had their memories erased of her. That was still a very good deduction, though.” Hatori offered her a smile of comfort.

 

“That wouldn't make sense.” Mayu's tone was thoughtful, as if she had just rummaged up an image that contradicted what Hatori had just spoken.

 

“Why? What happened?” His voice peaked with interest.

 

“It's just that…I saw Honda-san talking to Kyo-kun. They both didn't seem confused, and then, they hugged each other…Clung to each other. It almost looked like they were desperate for the other's touch.”

 

The room went silent for moment as Hatori thought over what Mayu told him. How had Kyo hugged Tohru? The only answer he was able to come up with was that Kyo no longer had the curse, yet, he didn't think that was correct. Of course, he hadn't spoken any of that out loud, he just said, “They hugged each other.”

 

Mayu nodded her head in a mute response. “They hugged, but, it must have been uncomfortable. After all, they had Honda-san's bag in between them.” Well, that had explained that question, so the curse was still latched upon Kyo's skin and soul.

 

Hatori just remarked with a passive, “I see.”

 

“What's the matter with you? You seem more quiet than usual. Does it have anything to do with that curse of yours?”

 

Those words brought shock to Hatori's face, “How do you know about the curse?”

 

She sighed, “I've known you and Shigure and Ayame for a long while now. I don't know the full details of this “Sohma Family Curse”, just that your family has one.”

 

Hatori nodded his head to show that he understood, “My talking less than normal is due to the curse. The fact that only Kyo and I are the only ones still cursed…It upsets me.”

 

Mayu became tired, as she stood there, thus, she situated herself onto the floor. Hatori moved and sat down next to her. “Don't let it get to you too much. I'm sure this curse must be physical and mental. So, who says that just because some of your cursed family member lost the physical curse, doesn't mean that they have lost the mental part of the curse or vice versa.”

 

It had been right then-right at that moment-which Hatori realized what Mayu was to him. “Thank you.” She was his hope.

 

“You're welcome…I just want to let you know that…that I love you.”

 

Hatori went to speak, but Mayu just gave a smile that told him not to say a word. “I know that you don't love me. You can't love me. Not yet, anyway, because you still hold tight to Kana.”

 

He nodded, “Yes, I still hold fast to Kana. The memories I have of her and the love that my heart still holds for her is a constant in this time of continuous change around me. One day, once all to do with this curse is settled, I know that I will love you. But, at the present, all my heart will allow is for me to see you as a close friend.”

 

Mayu took Hatori's hand, “I understand. I've waited this long and my heart can wait longer. If holding onto Kana's memories for just a bit longer, makes you happy, then that's all that matters to me. And…to tell you the truth -I'm not ready to let go of that image that I have of you two together. Not ready to let go of the happiness that you two once shared.”

 

“One day, Hatori, we will be able to let go of our pasts, so we can carry each other's burdens of those memories together. We can be each other's hopes.” She squeezed Hatori's hand, which she held, and he squeezed back.

 

As she held that hand, Hatori felt a painful twinge go through his whole body, but his hand seemed lighter. For now, as he immediately knew, the curse had left him, and his hand no longer had that heavy burden of memory suppression buried deep within it.

 

That held hand that had been a tool of pain and sadness. The hand that ripped himself from the thoughts of his lost love was now, the hand that held gently and innocently onto his future lover's hand. That was all his hand was now, a hand with no special powers, it was just a hand. Just a hand that intertwined its fingers with another, the warmth that spread through his fingertips had helped Hatori rid his body and soul of that once continuous guilt.

 

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A/N: Okay everyone thanks for reading and reviewing and I hope that you do the same for this chapter! Please tell me what you think. Now, on to the preview of Chapter Twelve:

 

Chapter Twelve:Time Spent

 

This chapter highlights moments between Kyo and Tohru including their date and other little outings. A cute and light chapter that shows just how much Kyo and Tohru have changed since they first met each other.

 

I hope you are all well. :D Please stay tuned for the next chapter. Until next time then…

 

~Lily~