Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Famous Last Words ❯ More Ratnipp ( Chapter 4 )

Ohayoo Gozamasu/Kon'nichi wa/Konban wa, depending on what time you're reading this, minna-san! ^^ This is the second chapter I've put up today seeing as I kept forgetting to update! ^___^;; I've been so busy that I've had no time to update and whoever I do have time, I can't go online in my room! >.<

Disclaimer:

Anyhow, it's "Pick the Disclaimer Time" again! ^^ *picks out piece of paper* This one says Shigure! ^^ (and to make this clear, I really am picking out a piece of paper from a hat)

Shigure: *reading teleprompter* Deadly Whispers and Kitsune's Rose do not own Fruits Basket or any of it's characters although they do own the world. Adlib. Laugh evilly…?

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Ayame: So I heard we were going to dinner, so where's Kyo and this must be Tohru Honda, is she your girlfriend?

Yuki: What?! *blush blush* No! She's just a female friend!

Ayame: So she's Kyo's girl, ne?

Yuki: Over my dead body!

Tohru: *blush blush*

Ayame: So she's Shigure's girl?

Yuki: … I really hope not…

Tohru: *blush blush*

Ayame: So do you like her though?

Yuki: You're going to make this very uncomfortable for us all, aren't you?

Ayame: Now why would I do that?! ^^

Yuki: Excuse me while I go kill myself. *walks out*

Later at Restaurant (Kyo's there too because Yuki dragged him along so that he could suffer just like the rest of them) :

Ayame: So who like's Tohru-san more?!

Yuki: Ni-san (a/n: seeing as Ayame hasn't come up in the mangas that are out yet, I don't know weather Yuki calls him Ni-san in the manga or not, but I read a manga translation where he does. By the way, Ni-san means Older Brother) , do you know how inappropriate that is?!

Kyo: Does he care?

Yuki: No, no he doesn't.

Tohru: So, Shigure-san, is Ayame part of the zodiac?

Shigure: Yep.

Tohru: So what animal is Ayame?

Shigure: Why don't you go hug him?

Tohru: That's a guy?

All Except Tohru: -.-;;

Tohru: What?!

Shigure: Shouldn't the voice have given it away?

Tohru: Uhh, I guess. ^___^;;

Kyo: And you said I was an idiot!

Yuki: Oh, you are.

Kyo: Fuck you!

Other Diners: *gasp*

Yuki: Is that all you know how to say?

Kyo: No, I know how to say bitch too.

Yuki: Besides that?

Kyo: Fine! So, Yuki, how was your fucking day?

Yuki: Oh, just fucking brilliant, how was your fucking day?!

Ayame: Yuki, watch your language.

Yuki: Okay, fine, how was your frickin' day?!

Ayame: Yuki, you're getting there, but keep working or you'll never get a girl.

Yuki: *blush blush* Well you're not one to talk.

Kyo: *laughing hysterically*

Yuki: Well, at least I didn't rub all over Honda-san like you, Kyo.

Kyo: Shut up, kuso nezumi! It's called catnipp!

Other Diners: ?!?!?

Kyo: You ever mention that again and I will hurt you!

Yuki: Oh really?

Kyo: Damn strait I will!

Yuki: Oh, bring it on.

Kyo: Fine, consider it brought!

Yuki: … O-kay then…

Kyo: Shut up, it was on Jerry Springer!

Yuki: You watch American TV?

Kyo: Sure, why not?

Yuki: Maybe because YOU CAN'T SPEAK ENGLISH!

Tohru: Could you two please stop arguing?

Shigure: I don't think so, it's in their nature to fight.

Ayame: *now drunk* And it's damn interesting too!

Yuki: *singing* Kyo rubbed on Honda-san! Kyo-o-kun no se-ke-be! (Japanese Translation: Kyo-kun is a pervert, or there's the cruder version which is "Kyo-kun is a sex fiend")

Kyo: That's it! *picks up stake knife and throws it at Yuki*

Yuki: *easily dodges* *stake knife hits wall inches away from some terrified dude* *dude runs out screaming* Is that all? Your aim is terrible.

Kyo: Shut up!! I'll be back. *gets up and goes to kitchen* Okay, put this in a drink and give it to the kid with short gray hair at table 103 and say it's on the house.

Waiter: Umm, why?

Kyo: It's some beer and it's a surprise, look I'll give you five bucks.

Waiter: In that case… *takes money and "beer"*

Kyo: Oh, and give the rest of the table drinks too okay, so it doesn't look suspicious… not that I'm doing anything wrong! <.< … >.>

Back at Table:

Kyo: I'm back. (a/n: Shock shock!)

Tohru: Where did you go, Kyo-kun?

Kyo: Where else would I go?

Tohru: Uhh… the bathroom?

Kyo: -.-;; No shit.

Yuki: I don't trust you.

Kyo: Why not? Can't a guy go to the bathroom in this town?

Yuki: I'm not even gonna answer that.

Waiter: Drinks on the house.

Yuki: … We never ordered.

Waiter: Well to bad!

All Except the Waiter: O.O

Shigure: Well if they're free, might as well drink up.

Yuki: You know the saying: Never take candy from a stranger? Well I'm pretty sure it goes with anything eatable.

All But Yuki: It's just water, seriously.

Yuki: Whatever you say, but if we're poisoned I'm blaming it all on Kyo.

Kyo: Demo… (Japanese Translation: But.)

Tohru: Sohma-kun, be nice.

Yuki: It's in my nature to be suspicious, I'm the rat.

Other Diners: !!

Ayame: *still drunk* Mind your own business, you stupid fuckers! (a/n: I don't think Ayame would EVER say that unless he's drunk. ^___^;;)

Haru: *walks in* (a/n: Shock shock!)

All: …

Haru: What the fucking hell are you all staring at?!

Shigure: Hey Haa-kun, you seem pissed.

Haru: Some jackass ran over my bike!

Shigure: Good thing you can't drive a motorcycle then because the repairs would cost more than the bike itself would. ^___^;;

Haru: *sees Yuki* *literally glides over to where Yuki is and sits down next to him* *looking all happy with hearts in the background while clinging to Yuki*

Yuki: -.-;;

(a/n: This has nothing to do with the story, but my cat's high offa catnipp now. ^___^;;)

Kyo: Damn it Yuki, I wouldn't poison you and kill you cause then I could never achieve my goal of beating you.

Yuki: If you kill me, that would be wining.

Kyo: Yeah, but I want you alive so I can gloat about it.

Yuki: Hah, you'll never win, you're to pathetic.

Kyo: *grabs glass and makes Yuki drink*

Yuki: *drowning*

Kyo: All you have to do is swallow!

Shigure: Hey look, this is interesting! (a/n: …)

Yuki: *thinks* Smells like mint… aw shit! *kicks Kyo away, but falls off chair in the process* *out loud* Ow…

Haru: Are you okay?! *no longer black… and by black I mean black Haru*

Kyo: Hahahahahaha!

Tohru: Kyo-kun, help Sohma-kun up!

Kyo: Over my dead body!

Ayame: *still drunk because we all know that Ayame would never do this* Hahahahaha!

Yuki: Mmm, water. ^^ (a/n: Reminds me of Hiei and sweet snow…)

Kyo: Mkay… (a/n: Although, this reminds me of South Park)

Haru: What did you do to him?!

Kyo: I love "ratnipp."

Yuki: How do you know my language?!

Kyo: …

Tohru: Oh, poor Yuki, he'll be so embarrassed!

Yuki: *to Tohru* You're preeetty. *starts cuddling with Tohru* *turns into rat*

Kyo: *takes out camera* *takes pictures* (a/n: Shock shock!) This is beautiful, absolutely beautiful!

Tohru: *blush blush*

Haru: I still wanna know what the hell you did to him!

Kyo: Just a little revenge, nothing drastic.

Yuki: Ni-san, you know all that time that we couldn't come in contact with each other? Well, we could have, but I was afraid that you were going to eat me. I mean, you are the snake and snakes eat mice…

Ayame: Oh, but little brother, I would never do that!

Shigure: This service sucks, it's been 2.5 hours and we still haven't ordered… Oh well.

Waiter: *finally comes* Hello, may I take your… *sees Yuki* I'm sorry, but we don't allow pets in here.

Yuki: Hey!

Waiter: O.O

Ayame: Ha, do you like my ventriloquist act? I've been practicing and that's just my dummy.

Yuki: I am not a dummy!

Ayame: Hah, he has a sense of humor!

Yuki: Humor, I DON'T NEED NO STINKING HUMOR!

Tohru: Sohma-kun, please be quiet unless you want to let the man know about the curse!

Yuki: *to waiter* Pixies will eat you alive!

Ayame: … Please excuse my little br… I mean dummy. I'm still trying to get some bugs out, excuse me. *grabs Yuki and goes to bathroom*

Yuki: BUGS?! WHERE, WHERE?! <.< … >.>

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Famous Last Words: Okay, put this in a drink and give it to the kid with short gray hair at table 103 and say it's on the house.

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Okay, that's the end of this chapter! ^^ I'm typin' up a lot more and then when I finish up to a certain point, I'll put up the next chapter, which is good, ne?

Shigure: Soo desu ne! ^^

DW: Okay… wasn't really expecting an answer, but anyhow, until the next chapter, minna-san.