Fruits Basket Fan Fiction ❯ Force of Destiny ❯ Speechless ( Chapter 9 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, I just keep them in a cupboard and show them off to my friends.

Chapter 9:Speechless

"Kaji," I repeat softly, wonderingly, amazed she has included me in her inner circle of friends with the invitation to use her nickname. 'Fire'. I wonder briefly if she was named that because of her abilities, but, no, a baby wouldn't be able to fling balls of blue fire, would it?

Just then, we reach the door to my room, and I pull her with me, unwilling to break contact with her for even the brief time it would take to cross the width of the room, and flip the light switches on a couple of table lamps. The room fills with a warm glow, and I face her again, impatient to see her delicate features unveiled in the new light. My breath hitches in my chest, and my heart turns over as I gracelessly gape at her paralyzing beauty.

'So, that's why they call her Kaji.'

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Hair a vibrant copper color tumbles around her shoulders in a riot of wild waves. I can just imagine it would glow like a nimbus of fire in the sunlight. I have a sudden, piercing desire to see her in the bright light of daytime. She deserves to be always be outside, free, kissed by the rays of the sun. Not in this despairing darkness. But the moonlight suits her, as well, bringing out the pale perfection of her skin. It is a startling contrast to her wide, dark eyes. I can't immediately place their exact color; they seem to shift in accordance with her emotions: first warm golden brown, then flashes of deep green, but always highlighted with flecks of amber. Colors of nature, of life. Earthy.

She is like a wild thing with her ethereal beauty, real, and yet an illusion; unattainable, and yet I have touched her, held her close to me, felt her heart beating with mine. The embodiment of feminine mystery. She quite literally takes my breath away, not only with her appearance, but of the aura of sheer joy of life she radiates, glowing like a candle on a cold night. Even trapped in this nightmare place I can sense her indomitable spirit, and have benefitted from her wholehearted giving. Just like Tohru.

The thought pulls me up short. I do not want to begin tangling my feelings for Tohru with the unexplainable ones for this woman. That would not be fair to anyone. Tohru was my first love. Is my first love. What I feel for this woman does not compare to what I hold in my heart for Tohru. 'She is a complete stranger' my rational half screams, 'But Tohru was still very much a stranger when you started falling in love with her.' Retorts my horribly honest half. I shake my head sharply to dispel these confusing thoughts. This is not the time to delve into whether or not I believe in love at first sight. I'm simply confusing my gratitude for something more.

Sighing in resignation that at I will have to sort out the confused jumble of my emotions at some point, I glance down into Kaji's eyes. 'I will have to do the sorting later.' I think as, with a guilty start, I realize I have been standing in the middle of the room with her, holding her hands and gaping dumbly at her for who knows how long. Again, I feel a flush of embarrassment rising in my cheeks. I don't think I have blushed so much, in such a short space of time, in my life.

"You're shocked speechless," she says wryly, "Do I look that awful?" She winks at me, and my blush deepens, realizing she's teasing me again. I struggle to assure her I find her rivetingly beautiful, without sounding like a lust-driven lech. Like Shigure. 'Gods, that's just the thought I need now.'

"Y-you.." was that a stutter? I clear my tight throat and try again, "you are, without a doubt," I reach my hand up to lightly brush her hair from her temple, "one of the most gorgeous creatures I have ever laid eyes on." Vaguely surprised, I realize that the words are a sincere compliment. That's not what I had intended to say.

I watch speechlessly as her eyes widen in response to the compliment. All traces of humor are gone from her expression--indeed, she appears stunned, disbelief etched clearly in her face. I let my hand drift down the pale curve of her cheek to her lips.

"Thank you," she whispers against my fingers, and I lightly trace the full, bowed shape with one digit. Dropping my hand from the temptation of her mouth, I cock my head to the side slightly, regarding her quizzically.

"Hasn't anyone told you before?" She just shakes her head a little, and I wonder what kind of men she has dealt with who could ignore such a vibrant woman as she.

"My coloring isn't exactly normal around here," she continues with a small shrug of self-depreciation, "The only person who said I was beautiful, besides family, was..." Here she trails off uncomfortably, her gaze trained on my chest, "someone I would prefer to forget."

She has clearly edited her words, and the reason why suddenly strikes me. 'Akito.' All of the various implications such a 'compliment' coming from the Souma god's mouth implies hits me like a fist in the stomach. Having had intimate exposure to Akito's twisted brand of appreciation, I can just begin to imagine the trials she has suffered at his hands. 'And she isn't away from him yet.'

"So, let's forget," she flashes a look at me from beneath her lashes, clearly surprised at my suddenly light tone, "if just for tonight. Tomorrow is soon enough to deal with everything else. Tonight, I just want to know all about you." I smile encouragingly at her and rest my hands gently on her shoulders, hoping to ease some of the tension knotting her delicate frame.

After a moment of silence, her shoulders relax a little under my light touch. She flashes a brilliant smile at me, silently agreeing to my temporary offer of distraction.

"Only if you return the favor."